JANUARY 8, 2026
HELSINKI, FINLAND
HELSINKI OLYMPIC STADIUM
"Cha Cha Cha" plays in the arena as fireworks go off and the crowd cheers.
Simon: Welcome back to the A Group!!! I am Simon Apple, here with my favorite people, Kendra Mavis and Lenny Cruz. We're now on Day 2 and I don't think any of us expected Day 1 to go quite like it did.
Lenny: Yo, let's just call it like it is, Day 1 was WILD. WI-LD.
Kendra: Black Saber and Lesnar biting it on Day 1, I will say... not on my Bingo card. Same with the Scythe family and Def Jam.
Simon: I would have to agree with you on that. And I imagine all of em are coming into today with fish and chips on their shoulders.
Lenny: Yo, you stole that joke from Suzy Izzard. It's cool though, she's funny as shit.
Simon: Anyway, we're going into Day 2, and everyone has a chance to turn it around.
DAY A-2
GILERTO J VS VIOLET
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
As the song's preamble plays through the speakers, the lights go out. The fans decide to illuminate their surroundings with their cell phones and a few small, low-powered flashlights. They look like stars in the infinity of cold outer space. A white mist begins to cover the entrance aisle to the ring. And suddenly, the silhouette of a robust wrestler appears, holding an old lantern; one of those kerosene ones. Masked with what appears to be a dried animal skin mask... A lamb, specifically... Along with the music, he abruptly tears off his mask, revealing himself as Gilberto J.
Ash: And his opponent! From The Jungle, weighing in at 285 pounds, the King of the Jungle, GILBERTO J!
Lenny: Gilberto is coming off a statement win in Day 1 against JP Spears, and the confidence in him is undeniable.
At the same time, he begins his walk to the ring. He walks heavily, each step slow but deliberate. A smile is visible on his face; like a predator finding its prey. He continues this way until his entrance is complete, entering the ring under the ropes; laughing out loud.
Violet tugs at the collar of her leather jacket to boos.
Ash: FIRST! Representing E.M. Powered, from Los Angeles, California, VIOLET!!!
Violet flips off the crowd as she walks down the ramp.
Kendra: It's been a hard road for Violet since she wisely turned on the fans.
Simon: I don't feel too bad. As the kids say F Around and Find Out.
The bell rings!
Lenny: I agree.
Kendra: I don't... God forbid she try to do something for herself. Well, she is coming in hard, throwing fist after fist at Gilberto, but Gilberto lifts her up and a bodyslam. Gilberto putting the boots to Violet, Violet rolls up and tries for the boot, Gilberto with a Capture Suplex!
Simon: Gilberto coming off the ropes and leg drop! Going for the pin-
Danny: ONE!
Lenny: Violet gets her shoulder up. Gilberto attempts to pull Violet up and Violet hits a jawbreaker in response, and loads in with strong punches and a huge uppercut! There's that ol' fightin' spirit. Coming off the ropes AND Gilberto catches her out with a Ranhei.
Kendra: He's keeping the pressure on for sure.
Danny: ONE! T-
Simon: Violet up again, and WHOA she gets a judo arm flip on Gilberto and she locks in a Fujiwara Armbar!
Lenny: Gilberto reaching for a rope...NO HE SWINGS BACK AROUND FOR A LARIAT! HE WIPES VIOLET CLEAN OUT!
Kendra: Violet rolling under the ropes to avoid another pin situation, grabs a hold of Gilberto's braids and yanking his head backwards over the apron!
Danny: ONE! TWO! THREE! F-
Simon: She lets go, and a chop to Gilberto's throat! And pulling back again!!
Danny: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Kendra: She knows enough to break the count, another throat chop, and a Springboard Bulldog GILBERTO REVERSES INTO A POWERSLAM!!
Danny: ONE! T-
Simon: Violet gets her shoulder up, and Gilberto is aggravated. He goes to punch her in the head, she rolls away and back to that Fujiwara, and she's just bending his fingers back with it!
Kendra: Gilberto refusing to show or demonstrate any pain, but sometimes you just know that someone is hurting. He tries to swing her into a lariat, she ducks and keeps the armbar in tight! And gives him a knee to his face for his trouble!!
Lenny: Dude just stays smirkin' at her! She's gonna pull his arm outta the socket and he's just smirkin' at her!
Simon: He pushes her off and going for a swing OH LOW BLOW FROM OUTSIDE WHAT THE-
Kendra: Nova Blake coming in clutch, Violet lights him up with Bandit Country!!!
Danny: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Violet wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, VIOLET!!
Lenny: Bandit Country is right, they just stole that win right out from Gilberto!
Kendra: Oh, stop whining, Gilberto wasn't gonna win anyway.
Simon: Well, we are just gonna keep it movin'.
ALFOS VS PINOY POWER SURGE
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
The lights go white with vertical blue lasers showing out around the arena. Alfos comes out to a decent amount of cheers, pounds his chest twice and raises his arms with a shout.
Ash: First! From Portsmouth, England, weighing 245 pounds, ALFOS!!
Alfos walks down the ramp with pure laser focus on the ring, gradually picking his pace up without breaking focus until it becomes almost a jog. He slides into the ring without breaking stride and begins pacing in his corner, ready to fight.
The crowd pops loud as the song kicks in and the lightning coalesces towards the entrance way, where Pinoy Power Surge raises her arms and looks up almost as if being recharged, lightning forming behind her.
Ash: And his opponent! From Sagada, Philippines, PINOY POWER SURGE!
Pinoy Power Surge charges towards the ramp, jumps the apron and springs between the middle and top rope, landing in the center of the ring in a superhero pose.
Simon: She got a quick win against Thor last time, can she keep up her momentum?
The bell rings!
Kendra: Alfos coming in hot with a strong boxing combo, Pinoy doing her best to duck and weave but Alfos able to land some solid punches. Alfos with an arm whip, Pinoy lands on her feet and a front dropkick pushes him back, off the ropes and float over DDT!
Simon: Alfos prides himself on blocking rather than dodging, but some things can't be blocked, you just need to get out of the way, and he's gonna learn that one the hard way.
Lenny: Alfos quick to his feet, but immediately eats a dropkick that pushes his own fist into his face! You KNOW I'm pullin' for a fellow Shock Jockey.
Kendra: Alfos is gonna have to get it together if he's going to get her, and she comes off the run with a Moonsault Splash!
Jenny: ONE!
Kendra: Alfos gets the shoulder up, Pinoy goes for an Irish Whip, Alfos pulls her in for a ripcord lariat! Alfos with the mounted punches!
Simon: Alfos holds the arms down and a knee drop! Looks like he's going for a pin...Pinoy with a Monkey Flip! Alfos launched and here comes Pinoy with a Corkscrew Splash!
Jenny: ONE!
Lenny: Alfos shoulders up! Gotta give it up for his weatherin' the storm. Gets hold of her head and throwing those hooks, up by the throat and we could be getting a One Bang NO MY GIRL'S SHOWIN' WHAT THE EVADING GAME IS ALL ABOUT, DUCKS IT AND FIREMAN'S CARRY...POPPIN' UP TO THE TOP AND 630 SPLASH!!!! ROLLING BLACKOUT!!!
Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Pinoy Power Surge wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, PINOY POWER SURGE!
Simon: Pinoy is now 2 matches up and Alfos is now 2 in the hole.
Kendra: Being one down is a very easy hole to climb out of, being two down is still manageable but each match is going to be that much more dangerous for Alfos now.
Lenny: Still doable though, Alfos strikes me as one of those dudes who looks danger in the face and laughs.
Simon: You're right that it's still doable, but it's a slide you'll need to cut off ASAP.
Kendra: Well, unless we get a tie situation going, our next match is gonna end up with someone in that same hole. Both competitors lost on day 1, so someone here is gonna leave with a hard road ahead.
LULU ANTARISKA VS JARED SCYTHE
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Lulu Antariksa runs out pumping up the crowd.
Ash: First! From Santa Clarita, California, LULU ANTARIKSA!!
Lulu high-fives the front row and slides into the ring.
“Guitar vs Violin” By Charlie Parra del Riego plays through the PA. As the Violin starts playing Jared emerges from the back, jogging out to the stage, stretching his right arm.
Ash: And her opponent! From San Diego, California, weighing in at 190 pounds, the leader of the Scythe Society, JARED SCYTHE!!!
He squats down staring at the ring like a scout, stalking his target. He stands up and walks down the ramp, focused and calm.
Kendra: Jared has the hunt in his eyes.
As he reaches the ring, he slides right in, pacing around the ring like a snake circling its prey. He then leans into a turnbuckle, arms crossed.
The bell rings and Jared immediately hits a Master Cutter!!
Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Jared Scythe wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, JARED SCYTHE!!!
Simon: Scythe wasn't messing around, he wasn't waiting for Def or Victoria to come in and cause problems, he wanted a quick in and a quick out.
Kendra: And he's not sticking around to risk it, I don't blame him.
Lenny: And with that, we're gettin' golden for the first time tonight baby! One o' these men could be walkin' outta here with a 2-0 record, that's gonna put ya in a real good place.
WILL CORRIGAN VS JAGUAR KING
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Will Corrigan leaves the stage with a slow and controlled walk.
Ash: FIRST! Possibly from New Zealand, possibly from Australia, at 127kg, WILL CORRIGAN!!
Before going down the ramp, he stops and observes his opponent in his eyes/the ring and continues to stare at him for the entire time of the journey. To enter the ring, he clings to the first rope to give himself the momentum to jump and enter the ring through the ropes.
Kendra: As far as rumors go, "possibly New Zealand you guys" isn't THAT spicy.
Lenny: It is if you're an Australian hoping to get behind this dude.
Once inside the ring, he places himself in the center and aggressively stares at the camera before taking off his jacket and positioning himself in its corner.
The lights go dark, resembling a New York Street, with Purple Siren lights going off. Jaguar King stands on the stage and punches down, with a crown firework going off around him.
Ash: And his opponent! Representing the Animalities, from New York, New York, weighing in at 248 pounds, JAGUAR KING!
Jaguar King walks down the ramp with intent, occasionally high fiving fans as he comes.
Simon: Jaguar and Will are at a win apiece and quite probably someone will walk out of here continuing with a 2-0.
Jaguar King jumps onto the apron and flips in.
The bell rings!
Simon: Jaguar King and Will Corrigan are throwing stiff punches at each other. King whips Corrigan across the ropes, catches Corrigan spot on with a spinebuster. Jaguar King at the legs and going for a Boston Crab, but first he has to get Corrigan over and Corrigan isn't going easy.
Lenny: He in fact is using sit up energy to get some punches in the face, back down and up with a double axe handle, and brings King down with a DDT!
Kendra: Corrigan back to his feet and getting his stomp game on! Keeping King on the ground, off the ropes and going for the knee drop, King moves Corrigan airballs! Jaguar rolls back and gets him with an Uppercut!
Lenny: Go King go! Snap DDT right on back!
Simon: Jaguar going for that Boston Crab again, Will giving the fight though, gets himself up on his hands and pushes Jaguar off, both of them to their feet, Will goes for the Superkick, Jaguar evades with a slide and goes for a run, back around with a clothesline and Will grabs his arm, THERE is the Superkick!
Kendra: He attempted to avoid the Inevitable, but it is...well, inevitable.
Lenny: Some real Final Destination goin' on here, as he goes for the cover-
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Will Corrigan wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, WILL CORRIGAN!!
Will positions himself on the stake and rejoices, raising his arm to the sky for a few seconds. Then he comes down and mocking the opponent shouts “if there is an opponent of my level, make him come and face me." He waits a few seconds and then comes down from the ring starting his slow walk towards the stage.
Kendra: He still has 9 people he'll need to fight in this event, and that's if he doesn't make it to the tournament.
Lenny: Yeah so take a chill pill Will.
Simon: And back down to the Air Group we go.
XEL VS AIKO
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Arena dims to black. A single beam of blue light hits the stage as XEL emerges slowly.
Ash: First! From Aurora Valley, weighing in at 215 pounds, XEL!!!
LED wristbands in the crowd sync to his theme. Fog rolls in as light beams converge behind him, forming a glowing “X” in the air.
The lights go out and Björk steps out into the spotlight.
Björk: Introducing the beautiful and mighty fighter from Yamaguchi, Japan... The Moonblade, AIKO!!!!!!!
The Icelandic Icon turns, to her right where Aiko stands in traditional japanese attire, and a black paper umbrella.
"NEON BLADE" by MoonDeity hits, and Aiko now faces the camera.
A cool aura and swagger emanating from her as she removes her designer glasses, and walks with zeal, and boldness towards the gorilla position and out through the entrance way stage area.
Kendra: Rina's passed her job off. Definitely some drama here.
Simon: I hope these crazy kids can work it out, but Aiko is not showing it getting to her.
The crowd erupts into cheers of admiration, and they bounce along with Aiko as she struts to the rhythmic oriental beat. Aiko dressed in her signature black sports top with gold accent, and kimono inspired leggings. On the stage she jumps, and gives a quick kick downward, and a high kick once she lands. She gives a display of 3 more flash kicks, an elbow strike, then spins around, and goes onto one knee, giving a Kata prayer like pose. The screen behind her shows beautiful plumes from peach blossom trees, and open japanese umbrellas spinning. Aiko's name is displayed with kanji symbols, and a rising sun logo positioned behind it all.
As the crowd continue to cheer Aiko skips down the ramp then into a rhythmic strut playing to the crowd, and arms rolling with dance movements.
She stands at the bottom of the steps, and bows. Then quickly makes her way into the ring, and makes exaggerated poses and moves til her music stops and the bell rings!
Lenny: Aiko may not have let it show walking down, but she's unloading those chops with a fury that ain't usually her. She tosses XEL by his mask! And she's comin' in just UNLOADING on him!
Kendra: Aiko lets out a furious scream and she launches him with a Belly to Belly, taking off like a shot and springboards, MOONBLADE KICK!!!
Danny: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Aiko wins by Pinfall!
Ash: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, THE MOONBLADE, AIKO!!!
XEL gets back to his feet and Aiko looks like she's about to strike him...but he gives her a hug, and she starts to break down.
XEL and Aiko sit with each other for a second as Aiko weeps softly into XEL's shoulder.
The crowd chants "WE LOVE AIKO *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*"
Simon: How sweet.
Kendra: Ugh. Save it for backstage.
XEL and Aiko walk back together.
Lenny: Are we watching your heart shrink three sizes, Kendra?
Kendra: Let's...just get to the next match.
Simon: Right then, on we go, from two people vying for a 2-0 to two vying to avoid the dreaded 0-2.
THOR VS PITTA POWER
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Pitta Power walks out mimicking conducting an orchestra.
Ash: First! From Torino, weighing in at 200 pounds, PITTA POWER!
The crowd boos as Pitta steps into the ring.
Thunder crashes around the arena, and a "lightning bolt" hits the top of the Titantron as the music starts-
-and Thor stands on the Tron with his hammer held high.
Ash: And her opponent! From Belize, weighing in at 245 pounds, THE KING OF KINGS, THOR!
Thor ziplines down to the ring Hammer held high, and lands in the center of the ring, also in Superhero pose.
The bell rings!
Simon: Pitta trying to go off a similar strategy to Pinoy Power Surge, going for the quick attack on Thor but Thor sees it coming, ducks and gets him up on his shoulder.... MJÖLNIR'S WRATH!!
Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Thor wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, The King of Kings, THOR!!
Simon: People are going to need a new strategy with Thor I think.
Kendra: And so we keep it going, with another two people vying to come out of this with a flawless record.
SCHMETTERLING VS KYU KETSU
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
A thick white fog rolls across the stage as the lights dim. A single spotlight follows Kyu Ketsu as he steps forward.
Ash: First! From Feudal Japan, weighing in at 200 pounds, the Vampire Samurai, KYU KETSU!
Above him, the screen displays a blood-red moon. His eyes remain locked on the ring, unwavering. He enters the ring before draping his cape over the ropes, after which he gets on all fours and peers beneath, giving the crowd a sadistic smile and a deliberate and slow wave.
The arena is quiet until-
"SCHMETTERLING!!!!"
The lights dim to a haunting, gaslit energy. Metal butterflies fly around the arena as the crowd crescendos in their cheers.
At the first MEIN HERZ BRENNT, Schmetterling stands on the apron, flamethrower aimed at the sky, and shoots a huge flame upwards to cheers!
Ash: AND HIS OPPONENT! From Mellrichstadt, Germany, weighing in at 219 pounds, SCHMETTERRRRRRLING!!!
He high fives the audience as he comes down the ramp, but eyes never leaving the ring. He gets into the ring in time to time his flamethrower to MEIN HERZ BRENNT!!!
Kendra: See, on a VAMPIRE, that would be a bit more understandable than on Mr. Action Star.
The bell rings!
Simon: And we have a knife-edge chop battle going right at the outset of this, Schmetterling and Ketsu trading brutal slices with their palm. Ketsu picking up speed and Schmetterling attempting to match pace, Ketsu switching from chops to palms now and that palm strike flurry is too much for Schmetterling to follow! It's all he can do to swat it away and a spinning back elbow by Kyu puts more distance between the two!
Lenny: Ain't always clear what Schmetterling's plan is gonna be but you just have to beat him to the punch to get him on the defensive.
Kendra: Kyu gets enough space between em to get a Step Up Enzuigiri! Schmetterling down and Kyu advances on his prey, going to lock in a Rear Naked Choke. Bite him! Sire him!
Simon: It takes a lot to make The Metal Butterfly tap out, so Kyu has given himself a bit of work here to do, and he does in fact look like he's got designs on Schmetterling's neck, Schmetterling able to break an arm free and elbow him in the jaw! Schmetterling to his feet and a snap DDT! Deadlift and.... REISEN! The Release German! Schmetterling goes for the pin-
Carter: ONE! T-
Kendra: You think that'll keep a vamp down? Kyu up easily, and Judo Arm Drag to Schmetterling! And another one! Here comes a th- NO! SCHMETTERLING LANDS ON HIS FEET AND A RUNNING BACK ELBOW PUSHES KYU BACK! YOU LOOKED A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH!
Simon: You also gave Kyu runway which is something you don't do... Kyu coming charging with a Shining Wizard SCHMETTERLING CATCHES HIM AND SAITO SUPLEX OUT OF THE RING!!
Carter: ONE! TWO!
Lenny: Kyu trying to get to his feet to beat the count-
Carter: THREE! FOUR!
Kendra: He landed pretty hard from that Saito, he's moving slower than expected SCHMETTERLING SUICIDE HEADBUTT THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPE!! This idiot couldn't leave well enough alone!
Carter: ONE! TWO!
Lenny: The crowd loves it though, and you better BELIEVE that they're giving him his flowers now. That headbutt drove Kyu right into the barricade and Schmetterling is lighting him up with headbutts!
Carter: THREE! FOUR!
Simon: Kyu with a cheap knee shot gets himself free!
Kendra: That's how you gotta do it!
Carter: FIVE! SIX!
Simon: Kyu whips Schmetterling into the post and gets himself back in the ring!
Carter: SEVEN! EIGHT!
Lenny: Dude's celebratin' but Schmetterling is up!
Carter: NINE!
Lenny: SCHMETTERLING SPRINGBOARD MISSILE DROPKICK! HE BEATS THE COUNT!! This Helsinki crowd is on their feet! Going for a Butterfly Piledriver!!! NO!!! KYU WITH THE BACK BODY DROP!!!! KYU LIFTS HIM UP.... SPINNING BACKFIST AND THIS CAN ONLY GO ONE PLACE SCHMETTERLING DUCKS THE LARIAT TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!! RELEASE GERMAN RIGHT THE HELL OUT OF THE RING!!!
Carter: ONE! TWO!
Kendra: Bloodletter rejected!
Carter: THREE! FOUR!
Simon: It's been a hot minute since we've seen this iteration of Schmetterling, the never-say-die quick-thinking Maniac from Mellrichstadt, and it took returning to his event stomping ground for him to find himself.
Carter: FIVE! SIX!
Kendra: Kyu won't go down that easy!
Carter: SEVEN!
Lenny: Kyu to his feet!!!
Carter: EIGHT!
Kendra: On the apron, he doesn't have much time to plan his next move, jumps in with the Double Axe Handle SCHMETTERLING MOVES AND CATCHES HIM WITH A KICK TO THE MIDSECTION!!!
Simon: We've seen these two refuse the Bloodletter, the Butterfly Piledriver, and the Death Lotus. We've seen Kyu come back from the Reisen, and a far trip at that. Schmetterling going for it again, and the question becomes will history repeat itself...BUTTERFLY PILEDRIVER! HE NAILS HIM WITH IT!
Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Schmetterling wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, SCHMETTERLIIIIIIIIING!!!
Schmetterling raises his blowtorch high and shoots a plume into the sky! The crowd yells "SCHMETTERLIIIIIING!"
Lenny: Last year's winner is 2 and 0, and while it's way too early to tell, man's definitely settin' himself up for a back to backer.
Simon: He is undoubtedly here and locked in, and the Bronze Group is on notice.
Kendra: But he's giving Kyu a hand, and a...bow of respect. Never lower your head to an enemy, dumbass.
Lenny: Kyu, one thing to know about him is he respects respect, and he returns the bow. These two men put up a huge fight.
Kendra: And these matches are really roller coasting from maintain your perfect score to avoid being dug in deeper, as our next match is two usually solid competitors who each had an unexpected first round loss.
DEF JAM VS ISABELLA VAN DER GARDE
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
"You'll be a corpse before your time" by The Sleeping plays over the PA as "Welcome to the Land of the Xtreme" shows on the titantron.
Defjam jogs out of the back onto the stage and stares out to the fans before crossing his arms above his head in an "X".
He drops them down and yells "XTREEEEEEME" as red pyro goes off on either side of him. He then begins jogging down the ramp, alternating sides to hi five fans along the way. As he gets to the ring he climbs the steps, stopping at the top to kiss his dog tags before rising up and climbing through the middle rope.
Ash: First!! FROM Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 225 pounds, representing X-TREME SOCIETY AND PATH 2 GLORY, the Legend of X-Treme Himself, DEF JAM!!!
Once in the ring he jogs a lap around the ring, nodding his head to the music before climbing a turnbuckle and points out to the fans. He then spreads his arms wide and backflips off, landing on a knee in the center of the ring before crossing his arms above his head in an "X" and yells "XTREEEEEEEEME".
Kendra: I wonder if he's gonna take a cue from his bro, and try to end this one before it even begins.
Finally, he gets to his feet and removes his dog tags which he hands to a stage hand.
Sounds of cannons blast off and "I, Emperor" begins playing. A hooded feminine figure appears on stage and lowers her hood to reveal herself as Isabella Van Der Garde.
Ash: And his opponent! From Den Helder, the Netherlands, ISABELLA VANNNNN DEEEER GARDE!!
She winks at a nearby camera before heading do the ramp. Once at ringside Isabella slides immediately underneath the bottom rope to not just enter the ring but slide all the way to the opposite ropes. Afterwards the Dutchwoman climbs up the ropes until she is bent over the top rope and she blows a kiss towards the crowd before shooting a cheeky wink towards the camera as she takes her cloak off and carefully drop it on the apron.
Lenny: The year of the Butt is not off to a great start but I'm confident she can turn it around.
The bell rings! Isabella charges with the Bella Bomb right out BUT DEF CATCHES HER WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX!
Lenny: That is very much NOT what I meant.
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Def Jam wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, DEF JAM!!!
Kendra: And you can see on Def's face that he's finding this...a little anti-climactic. Not really the intense fight he was looking for.
Simon: Maybe his plan wasn't to get the quick W.
Lenny: By the crack o' his knuckles and the way he's exiting the ring, I get the sense he's gonna go look for a fight.
Kendra: On looking for a fight, let's move to our next competitors-
MANSIN VS JP SPEARS
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
The lights flicker on and off as if they are bulbs running out of energy in a dark room. Mansin stands at the apron.
Ash: First! From the Shadows of his Own Mind, weighing in at 240 pounds...the Manic One.... MANSIN!
He walks down the apron, with the lights feeling like they are becoming increasingly unstable in his wake.
Simon: He's coming into today with a win over Stitches the Clown, someone who matches his own instability. JP is...not that. I imagine he thinks this will be a cake walk.
Lenny: Then he hasn't been watchin' tape of this event, the first dudes to beat big-ass Rade were little-ass Steve Thunder and tag man Gilbert Glass, in 2024 and 2025 respectively. Don't ever underestimate the little dude.
He steps over the ropes and stands motionless in the ring with the flickering lights around him, almost strobe in nature.
Hand Clapper starts playing and the crowd starts to clap along.
JP runs out as the tron starts to play his reel and he plays to the crowd, clapping to either side before starting a jog towards the ring.
Ash: And his opponent! From Charlotte, North Carolina, weighing in at 215 pounds....J! P! SPEARS!!!
He slides under the bottom rope and takes off his cut-off T-shirt and throws it into the crowd.
The bell rings!
Simon: Spears...actually standing back a little, showing a little restraint this time. I gotta admit not what I was expecting.
Kendra: He's getting cold feet.
Lenny: No, he's just showing the Scholar part of the Scholar Athlete. Charging at Mansin is a one way ticket to Destructionville. He's showing adaptability and I think that's going to be the necessary factor for him here.
Kendra: He's charging with the Hit Stick, yep, that's truly adapt... oh, using a fake from his football days, evades the clothesline and takes a sharp right to the corner, running up the turnbuckle and a missile dropkick! Okay, I guess I gotta give him that. Mansin staggers but he doesn't go down, JP taking the run further and a quick deke to the other turnbuckle and Mansin sees the pattern OH HE FAKES OUT WITH A SPIN MOVE AND MANSIN HITS AIR, BACK TO HIS FIRST LAUNCHING POINT AND DROPKICK TO THE BACK! MANSIN'S HEAD HITS THE TURNBUCKLE AND JP CATCHES HIM BACK FOR THE GERMAN-
Danny: ONE!
Simon: Mansin out of the pin and to his feet, scoops up JP with one arm and a brutal backbreaker! It doesn't take much to steal momentum, and JP crumples to the mat! Mansin goes over to get the his arm under JP's chin, JP able to get his hands in and prevent this from becoming a SinStretch. JP trying to pry the arm away entirely, Mansin with a clubbing blow ends that attempt.
Kendra: JP shoulda just stayed home.
Danny: Mansin gets JP up by the scruff of the neck and dunks him with a Reverse Chokeslam! Mansin gets him up and I think we're about to get the Maneurysm Knee...OH DAMN JP DUCKS THE KNEE COMIN' BACK AROUND AND GOIN' FOR THE HIT STICK MANSIN MOVES AND JP GOES FLYING THROUGH THE ROPES!!
Kendra: TORO!! TORO!!
Danny: ONE! TWO!
The crowd cheers "We believe in JP! We believe in JP!"
Danny: THREE! FOUR!
Simon: Spears starting to get to his feet!
Lenny: Keep the chant going!
Danny: FIVE! SIX!
Simon: Spears is up!!
Kendra: That was dumb of him. Mansin's gonna eat him alive.
Danny: SEVEN!
Lenny: Spears rolls into the ring, and able to reverse the roll in time to get away from Mansin's stomp, rolls behind Mansin and up for a Russian Leg Sweep!!! Thinkin' on your feet even when you're not standin' on your feet, that's the JP Spears Way! Spears takes a run and SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT!!!
Danny: ONE! TWO! TH-
Kendra: Mansin gets that shoulder up, and he's getting the arm ready.... under the chin we go and he's looking to get that SinStretch locked....he pulls it off this time! This is very likely the end of the road for JP Spears!!! WAIT-
Lenny: RANDI RAH RAH IS HERE AND SHE'S GETTING JP'S HAND TO THE ROPES!!
Kendra: Get her outta here!!!
Simon: Danny motions her to the back but with her help JP is successful!!! Mansin has to break the hold!!
Randi: Gimme a J!
Crowd: J!!!
Kendra: JP attempts a roll-up pin but Mansin back elbows him away!
Randi: Gimme a P!
Crowd: P!!!!
Simon: That pushback was just the start JP's motor needed, he's runnin' it back...
Randi: Gimme the SPEARS!!!
Crowd: SPEARS!!!
In that exact moment, Mansin turns around right into the Hit Stick!!
Lenny: SPEAR!!!
Kendra: Don't tell me you're bought into this OH JP hit the Hit Stick!!
Danny: ONE! TWO! THREE!
JP Spears wins by Pinfall!
The crowd goes nuts!
Ash: Here is your winner, J! P! SPEEEEARS!!!
Lenny: Randi Rah-Rah saves the day for JP Spears!
Kendra: That shouldn't count! What nonsense!
Simon: Don't get too comfortable, JP, Sarah Sharp did this for you last year and we know how that turned out.
Kendra: Let's move on from this travesty.
JASSY VS MAYU IWATANI
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
There's a slow decrease in lighting, and arena lights all but dim down to a hazing darkness. A cackling laugh bellows from the speaker before "Do It So Good” by Wargasm begins to play.
The lights continue to flicker ominously. Then a mixture of a colorful light show, and small pyro works lights up. We see Jassy the ever jovial crazy girl slink out through the entrance way.
Ash: First! Representing Zora Luthor International, the leader of SEX APPEAL, MIND BLOWING....JASSY!!
Wearing a black leather attire with signature pink zebra print design. She struts over to one side of the top stage area. She moves and sways in rhythm to the music, then poses like a glam rocker mixed with a model. Her 'Sex Appeal' team mates accompany her to the ring carrying a large mesh bag.
A pyro, and a glitter bomb cannon explodes and colored glitter balls fly over and across the crowd, then they explode with sparkling glitter flying everywhere and all over the crowd.
Jassy walks with swagger, occasionally pointing with disdain at the crowd, mouthing out at them, and calling them rats. When she reaches the outside ring area, she poses once more before climbing onto the apron.
She grabs the rope and leans forward, and swings from side to side before pulling herself back, and entering the ring.
Once in the ring, Jassy stands in the center, pleased with herself, before ordering and watching Iris lay down on the canvas and make a snow angel in the glitter. Iris thinks and points to the bag. Jassy nods and they unzip it, pulling out Mayu Iwatani - written on in lipsticks pertaining to the four colors of ZLI.
Ash: ... and... from Mine, Yamaguchi, Japan... Mayu... Iwatani.
Jassy splays herself out model-style over Mayu. The bell rings.
Jenny: ONE... TWO.... THREE.
Jassy wins by "Pinfall".
Ash: Here is your winner. Mind Blowing Jassy.
Sex Appeal crack bottles of champagne like it was a hard-won battle and drink from the bottle before holding Mayu's mouth open and making her drink too.
Simon: This time last year Daria and Iris were pushing back against these antics and now here they are fully embracing it. It's really kinda sad.
Lenny: Well, THIS was definitely also a travesty, so I'm gonna make the same request, let's keep er rollin'.
Simon: Actually... before we do that, Oliver Goodman has been ejected from this event. Robertos Michael, who debuted in his home country of Romania during Graveyard Shift, will be stepping in. He's going to start at a minor disadvantage, with one loss already recorded to Goodman that shifts to Michael.
Kendra: This happened last year too, when Hazel Clarke stepped in for the incapacitated Broadway Bloom. But that was 3 losses already in, let's see if the singular loss will be easier for Michael to step back from.
JAMES D VS ROBERTOS MICHAEL
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
As his theme music plays over the PA system, James holds back until the song kicks in and then makes his way out from behind the curtain.
Ash: FIRST! From New York City, NY, weighing in at 190 pounds, the Most Interesting Man in the WOOOOORLD, JAMES D!
As he moves into the sight of the fans, he's met with boos but this just brings a smile to his face. The boos continue to rain down towards James but it doesn't phase him as he makes his way down the ramp.
Kendra: I don't think James has been made aware of the change yet...
Simon: I suspect you might be right.
James rolls into the ring and then stands in the corner as he awaits his opponent's entrance.
The arena lights die without warning, the crowd’s roar collapsing into uneasy silence. The titantron glitches violently before locking in on one chilling message:
“Name Display: Devilishly Great.”
A wave of boos and nervous anticipation rolls through the arena.
The darkness lingers… then a blinding flash cuts through the void. There he stands.
Ash: And his opponent... replacing Oliver Goodman... from Bucharest, Romania, weighing in at 251 pounds... DEVILISHLY GREAT ROBERTOS MICHAEL!!
Devilishly Great.
Unbothered. Unrushed. Smirking like he owns the building — because in his mind, he does.
He strides toward the ring with cold confidence, soaking in the hatred like fuel. Every step deliberate. Every glance dripping with arrogance.
At his side, a smoking hot diva moves with dangerous elegance, fully aware of the chaos she causes. She doesn’t just turn heads — she owns them. Together, they’re not here to be loved. They’re here to be obsessed over and resented.
As Devilishly Great steps between the ropes, the lights stutter again. He climbs the turnbuckle slowly, deliberately, throwing out a series of show-stopping poses — not for the fans… but to mock them. To remind them that no matter how loud they boo, they are powerless to look away.
The message is clear:
You don’t cheer Devilishly Great.
You endure him.
The bell rings!
Kendra: James didn't prepare in his extensive tape watching for this, but Robertos Michael is a big man, like Oliver was so he nods to himself almost as if he can stick to the plan and charging in with the D Stroyer Knee, ROBERTOS MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AND GERMAN SUPLEX!
Simon: The Oliver plan didn't account for Speed, and that's already proving to be James' undoing as Michael gets James' left arm locked and pulling the head back with his other arm... Devil's Deal already locked into place and James is desperately trying to get his leg to the rope, but that Diva who came with Michael pulls the ropes back and out of reach!!
Lenny: Damn, I didn't know you could do that!
Kendra: Robertos' big-ass arms are turning James' face blue, and he's... he's gonna call it. He's gonna tap.
Robertos Michael wins by Submission!
Ash: Here is your winner... Devilishly Great ROBERTOS MICHAEL!!
For a split second, the arena is frozen — then the boos detonate like thunder.
Devilishly Great doesn’t celebrate immediately.
He stands over the fallen opponent, chest rising slowly, staring down at them with cold amusement. Like the outcome was never in doubt. Like this was always beneath him.
He crouches beside them, whispers something unheard — but cruel enough to make the crowd react anyway.
The camera zooms in.
He smirks.
His theme finally hits.
He rises slowly, arms spreading wide, soaking in the hatred like applause. The lights dim again, pulsing around him as if the arena itself is forced to acknowledge dominance.
The diva slides into the ring with lethal elegance, applauding him slowly, deliberately. She circles him like a crown being placed on a king who knows he deserves it. She lifts his arm, but not for the referee — for the world.
Devilishly Great steps over the opponent’s body without even looking down.
Disrespectful.
Effortless.
Intentional.
He climbs the turnbuckle and delivers one final, theatrical pose — head tilted, grin sharp, eyes locked on the camera. A message sent to everyone watching at home:
“You didn’t witness a victory.
You witnessed inevitability.”
As they walk up the ramp together, he doesn’t look back at the ring.
Lenny: I didn't like anything about what we just witnessed. Inevitability, victory, whatever, it sucked.
Kendra: I dunno. I think he's gonna do great things here.
Simon: We've still got one more match before commercial, so let's get it rollin'.
JCM ACE VS NEONYX NOTORIO
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
As the lights drop, the arena is plunged into darkness, the only illumination coming from pulsating neon strobes flashing in sync with the beat of his entrance theme. A slight fog rolls across the stage, shrouding the entranceway in a hazy glow.
As the beat drops, the titantron lights up with a mesmerizing display of neon dragons swirling around each other, twisting and coiling in an endless cycle of movement, their glowing bodies pulsing in rhythm with the music.
After a few moments, Neonyx Notorio steps onto the stage with an undeniable aura of confidence, his movements slow and deliberate as he surveys the crowd, drinking in his own self-importance.
Ash: First! From Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 225 pounds, The Neon Dragon, NEONYX NOTORIO!!
He walks arrogantly down the ramp, exuding an air of untouchable charisma, taking calculated pauses to turn his head and scan the audience as if basking in his own greatness.
Simon: Neonyx and JCM Ace both had a rough first go of it, both of them hoping to dig themselves out of a ditch.
As he reaches the ring, he effortlessly jumps onto the apron before quickly rushing up the turnbuckle. Standing tall, he places his hands behind his back, scanning the crowd as if daring them to match his energy. Without hesitation, he front flips off the turnbuckle, landing with a smooth roll into a kneeling position on one leg. He bows his head into his balled fist before slowly looking up and pointing—either at his opponent if they are already in the ring, or toward the crowd if he enters first—before finally standing and adjusting his gloves, fully in his element.
Suddenly over the PA: "I'M COMMMMMING"
The arena lights dim, with red and white strobes sweeping the crowd.
Ace walks down the ramp with calculated calm, his movements deliberate and his gaze unflinching.
Ash: And his opponent! From Florida, weighing in at 300 pounds, JCM AAAAACE!!!
The crowd boos him relentlessly, but Ace feeds off the heat with a smug, unbothered smirk.
Midway down the ramp, he stops and examines the arena, eyes fixated on the prize.
Kendra: Ace's buddy Big Ricky lived up to his name yesterday, let's see if JCM can take that momentum and run with it.
He climbs into the ring with slow, deliberate movements, scanning the arena before leaning casually against the ropes, waiting for the bell to ring.
The bell rings!
Lenny: Neo comes charging JCM with the handstand...cartwheel...JCM moves out of the way easily! Neo leaves the ring by force of momentum alone!
Simon: You should probably win a match before being this cocky.
Kendra: It's not cockiness, it's ring awareness Simon. But then, of the three of us, you're the only one who's never laced boots so I don't expect you to get it.
Lenny: Neo going for a Springboard Dropkick, JCM just nopes out of the way! At this rate, Samoa Joe is gonna sue for trademark infringement!
Kendra: JCM scoops Neonyx up off the ground, onto his shoulders and going for the Ace Bomb...Neonyx attempting to shift it into an O'Connor Roll...JCM sits on him!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO!
Simon: Neo kicks, and we have a fight on our hands. Neo with a tilt-a-whirl huracanrana, JCM hits the ground with a bit of roughness but back to his feet, Neo with a high angle dropkick, JCM pushed back, Neo coming back around and JCM catches him out with the 3rd Ave!!
DeAndra: ONE! T-
Lenny: DAMN! Neo kicks from the 3rd Ave! Get it brother! Neo with the Tornado DDT, springing up to the ropes and getting himself backwards... oh I think we're gonna see that Inverted 450 JCM UP AND PULLS THE ROPE!!! NEO TAKES A SPLIT OVER THE TURNBUCKLE AND JCM TAKES ADVANTAGE.... ACE BOMB!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
JCM Ace wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, J! C! M! ACE!
Kendra: He's the Ace that Runs the Place, and he's gonna drop you on your face!
Simon: Neo tried but everything was just delaying the inevitable, and now he's got an 0-2 to dig himself out of. When we return to action, the second half of this chaos.
Announcer: NEW FROM MAWLOTOV STUDIOS! IT'S THE MAWL ACTION FIGURE RUSHMORE PACK!
Announcer: Relive the excitement of the biggest 4-person Rivalry MAWL had ever seen for the Asylum Title. Change the result. Or just stare lovingly at the well-crafted abs. SM Heartbreaker, Gozu, Nero, and Scott Razor come fully flexible for your playing and collecting pleasure, and we have more toys lines up for the future so be sure to keep an eye out!
Simon: Those look awesome, and I've already preordered mine. But, I personally can't wait for the toys for this event.
Lenny: Simon wanna see if Isabella's doll is caked or not.
Simon: What, no, I-
Kendra: Damn dude, you're a pervert.
Simon: NO! I was talking about-
Lenny: Hey my mans likes DAT ASS.
Simon: Can... can we just move on to the next match? Please?
Kendra: You got it Ass-Man.
AXEL VS STITCHES THE CLOWN
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: SIMON LIKES DAT ASS!
Simon: weakly One Fall.
The lights flicker on and off like in a dive bar. For the dirty guitar riffs light in the form of a Union Jack shoots outward a la the green X of DeGeneration X.
When the drum hits, Axel steps out and throws his arms up in glorious self-praise.
Ash: FIRST! Representing Riot Block, from Scunthorpe, England, weighing 203 pounds, the self-described essence of Beautiful British Brutality, AXEL!
The lights continue the Union Jack reverb through the distortion riffs as Axel walks down the ramp pounding his chest and throwing boxer punches. He enters the ring pounding his chest with both hands and shadow boxing a bit more.
Crowd: FOPPISH PRICK! FOPPISH PRICK!
Kendra: I love that this chant is back!
Simon: Axel would disagree with you, but screw him.
The tron flickers with corrupted carnival footage. A spotlight hits the entrance ramp where Stitches stands perfectly still, head tilted.
Ash: And his opponent! From the Big Top of the Damned, at 285 pounds, STITCHES THE CLOWN!
Balloons drop from the ceiling, and as he moves forward, each step echoes with clown giggles over a distorted bass line.
The bell rings!
Simon: There Stitches goes with the stare and laugh, this creepy bastard. But it's just irritating Axel and Axel comes in with a Boxing Rush and just blasting Stitches with Uppercuts! Axel whips Stitches across the ropes and absolutely lays him out with a Lariat! Stitches up and just laughing again.
Lenny: The clown runs on Intimidation, but if you ain't intimidated then the magic wears off pretty quickly, and Axel don't have that neural pathway workin' for him! It all routes back to anger, and he's just punchin' Stitches to High Heaven.
Kendra: Axel needs to prove to the Tribal Chief that he didn't make a mistake in picking him, and a win here would go a long way. Meanwhile Stitches doesn't stand a chance if he never throws a punch. Weebles don't win matches.
Simon: Stitches starting to wake up just that little bit, and a rollicking headbutt to Axel! And another! And now those giggles are hitting different! Stitches gets Axel by the throat, AXEL WITH A LOW BLOW AND FLAT LINER!!!!
Danny: ONE!TWO!THREE!
Axel wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, Beautiful British Brutality, AXEL!
Kendra: They don't call him Quick Count for nothin', we all know that Stitches could easily have kicked out of that had that been a fair count.
Simon: He wanted the Clown out of his ring before he started getting too aware, but he still needed to do his job correctly and now Stitches is up and he ain't laughin', he's got his Clown Glove on and Danny may be a quick counter but he's not a quick enough runner!! Stitches is putting a Smiley Face on Danny!!!
Lenny: Someone get help!!
Simon: Danny's time in this event may be done, and I'm receiving word that Colin is reaching out to the bullpen for Group D. So at least for now, Quick Count is out of the rotation.
Kendra: Well we got three matches to go before we see who Colin is bringing into the lineup, and I'm sure you wanna see what happens next so, let's get it on.
IMOGEN VS LESNAR
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: QUICK COUNT DESERVED IT!
One Person Who Still Gets It: ONE FALL!
The lights in the arena move into a rotating rainbow that projects all seven colors in a sort of tunnel that extends outwards and continuously spins as the guitar riff hits intensely. Imogen runs out with party sunglasses on-
-and concert jumps for a bit onstage before running full-steam down the apron slapping hands.
Ash: First, from Fort Wayne, Indiana, one half of the Edelweiss Brigade, The Unstable Unicorn, IMOGEN!
Imogen stops at the "WAHHOOOOO" and Sting screams it with the audience. She gets them pumped at "What a life, what a life, what a life what a life" before they do the next "WAHOOOO" together and Imogen jumps on the apron and immediately clears the ropes with a backflip into the ring, with a line of fireworks in the colors of the rainbow shooting off HBK style.
Lesnar stomps back and forth on the apron, before making a backbreaker/scream pose lighting off fireworks.
Lesnar starts to stomp down the ramp and he is PISSED.
Ash: And her opponent! From Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing 265 pounds.... THE BEAST, LESNAR!!!
Lesnar charges with increasing speed and runs into the ring, SPEAR TACKLING Imogen before the Bell even rings! Finally the Bell Rings!
Kendra: Lesnar wasn't wasting any time on the apron, and Imogen is paying for the sins of her former colleagues as he UNLOADS on her with lefts around rights! Scoops her up, GERMAN ONE! GERMAN TWO! GERMAN THREE! We're going to Suplex City!
Simon: It looks like Suplex City might be expanding! FOUR GERMANS! FIVE GERMANS! SIX GERMANS! We may be in the seat of Suplex COUNTY!
Lenny: And Seven! One for every color of the Rainbow, which incidentally is how the back of Imogen's head must be looking now even UNDER her hair!
Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Lesnar wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner! LESNAR!
Lesnar picks Imogen up and hits an F-5 on her anyway before leaving the ring.
Kendra: Much like the Scythe brothers, Lesnar wasn't about to wait around for someone to ruin his day. He was in and out.
Simon: Just another one of those Brock Rockin' Beats.
Lenny: Broooo.
Kendra: That was so bad. Let's not sit in it. Keep it movin'.
PHYSIO JOKER VS SHADE SHADOW
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Simon: Finally we're back on track.
The arena turns Dark as sinister laughter is heard before a old radio begins to play through static You either Die a Hero… or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain
Closer to the edge begins to play-
A long Piano, key note solo is heard before the base of the song begins to play The lights begin to flash red and back to normal ,as Joker is now shown standing on the entrance stage with a cold heartless stare.
Joker is shown now with a Half broken crown on his head and a Egyptian golden snake charm around his neck to represent the true evil that has become
Joker looks over to his right to the camera and smirks before speaking I am the villain that everyone loves to hate, but loves when I win , Joker then winks at the camera as he takes off the Half broken crown and snake charm and gives it to someone off screen
Lenny: Both these dudes comin' in here with a win, hopin' to double their loot. Only one will pull it off though.
The crowd becomes split as most cheers but some boos
Joker looks around and brushes pass the camera and slowly walks to the ring
Ash: Introducing first, from The tombs of the kings, The Heartless One Physio JOKER!!!
Joker looks bored as he walks to the ring
The feed follows Joker stops and listens to a fan yell at him. Joker just stops and turns and looks at the Fan his cold eyes before smirking at the fan
Joker slides into the ring and sits crossed in the middle of the ring holding up 4 fingers.
Shade Shadow fixes his cap and walks out pounding his chest.
Ash: And his opponent! From Gainesville, Georgia, weighing in at 267 pounds, SHADE SHADOW!!!
He shakes the ropes as he walks in and gives a shout.
The bell rings!
Kendra: Physio getting a good laugh in at Shade, SHADOW COMING IN WITH A FLURRY OF FISTS!
Lenny: I made my career bein' underestimated, there's no one you should ever turn your back on. Shade going for the Irish Whip, Physio swings him back in for the Ripcord Lariat.
Kendra: You think that maybe he accurately estimated Shade?
Lenny: Nah, I think Shade still has it in him.
Simon: I agree with you in theory, but he's gonna have to demonstrate it as Physio has him in that armbar and he's holding him tight. That looks like it's setting Shade up to leave here with a dislocated shoulder as Physio twists in all sorts of direction, Shade reaching for the ropes and Physio yanking him right on back! Keeping that arm locked tight and Shade's gonna have to figure something else out if he's going to get this back under control.
Lenny: Shade winds back and it looks like he's gonna use his free arm to get a strong hook in there but Physio ducks it and keeps that arm locked in stringently! Shade mighta just hurt himself MORE trying that!
Kendra: He's gonna have to 127 Hours it if he wants to get his arm free from Physio's grasp, it looks like Physio might be getting bored of the hold though as Shade is showing no signs of tapping, pulls him in for a ripcord again and Knee to the Stomach!
Simon: Physio Joker showing Shade exactly why he's a multi-time champ, exactly why he's considered one of the greats over at Path, just that pure manipulation and he STILL hasn't let that armbar go, just switching up the style of it, I think it was less that he was bored and more he saw it wasn't breaking Shade enough.
Lenny: The fortitude here in Shade Shadow cannot be underestimated though and he's barely showing a wince on his face, as much as Physio has been in control of this match you can start to see signs of irritation breaking through, this is when people often do somethin' stupid even if they're a legend, Shade may just need to wait out this opportunity and Physio trying to bend his arm across his back that was what Shade needed! Shade perfectly placed back elbow to the jaw of Physio, tucks his arm under Physio's head and we're going up.... we're going spinning and F5!!! SHADE SHADOW JUST DROPPED PHYSIO!!! Going for the cover-
Carter: ONE! TWO! T-
Kendra: PHYSIO GETS HIS HAND ON THE ROPES! Did Shade really think two moves were enough to take this dude out?? Shade gets out of the pin and Physio starting to kick at him on his way up, takes him down with the sweeping leg trip!
Lenny: Come on Shade! Get on up!
Simon: Physio's gonna make sure that doesn't happen, getting that Achilles Lock in pretty tight and Shade again refusing to show pain.
Lenny: See but this is why I have faith in Shade... once again, Physio's ego gonna get the best of him. If you leave one limb free-
Shade pushes Physio back with a kangaroo kick!
Lenny: That happens. Yep. Right there. And Shade charges him with a big boot shuttin' up his big mouth, and up we go for ANOTHER F-5!!! I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU BOTH.
Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Shade Shadow wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, SHADE! SHADOW!!!
Kendra: Well, you got your wish, I guess, so congrats there.
Lenny: Don't underestimate. I'm tellin ya.
Simon: Well, that won't be a worry with the next match as we head into Golden Group Territory.
RED GHOST VS SM HEARTBREAKER
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE MEOWING FALL!
Red Ghost comes out, crowbar in hand, ready to start some shit.
Ash: FIRST! From Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in at 97 kilograms and representing Psycho Supremacy, RED GHOST!
Ghost comes down whistling and swinging his crowbar.
Lenny: This li'l gangster prick deserved everything he got last time, and he still waltzes out here like he's the damn bee's knees. Hey! You little bastard! You stole the real Red Ghost's spot.
Kendra: There something about sitting in that chair that gives people a death wish?
Red Ghost eyes Lenny Cruz briefly then steps in the ring.
Announcer: Wrestling only has one Heartbreaker.
BOOOOMANIA! It has reached the shores of Finland!
SM Heartbreaker fixes his cufflinks and straightens out him open suit jacket with a Deck of Hearts shirt underneath it.
Ash: And his opponent! From wherever he wants to be, in at 205 pounds, the leader of the Deck of Hearts and self-proclaimed Face of MAWL, SM HEARTBREAKER!!
SM Heartbreaker steps into the ring, with several people in Deck of Hearts jackets at the corners of the ring.
DeAndra shoos away the Deck of Hearts people, and SM grabs the crowbar from Red Ghost as DeAndra calls for the bell.... RED GHOST HITS THE MAT! DeAndra turns around to see SM with the crowbar!
Kendra: Ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between, the Guerrero Special.
DeAndra rings the bell as SM is gobsmacked!!
Red Ghost wins by Disqualification!
Ash: Here is your winner by Disqualification, RED GHOST!!
Lenny: SM IS PISSED.
Kendra: I would be too, he didn't even get to hit him with it! Well, he's remedying that part now, oh but here comes the cavalry!
Lenny: Well that seems excessive to have both of them.
Kendra: I bet you Eradicus is more to stop-
Kendra: Yep. This. Exactly this. Eradicus and Violent unloading on each other now! Rox pulls Jamie off SM and throws her out of the ring! Rox to the top... JAMIE ROLLS AWAY FROM THE ELBOW DROP AND IT IS MAYHEM BETWEEN DECK OF HEARTS AND PSYCHO SUPREMACY RIGHT NOW! THIS PSYCHOSIS COULD NOT GET ANY-
Simon: Oh come on! Why is Jassy getting tangled up in this??
Kendra: Jassy has a bat and she's beating her sister in the ribs! OH and she just spun around and whacked Rox in the head too! These two also have history and Jassy decided now was a good time to make her presence known!
Kendra: OF COURSE this means that her girls are out here too, because they are ride or die bitches.
Lenny: This is so unnecessary, and just total chaos. Refs are out here trying to get control of-
Simon: WHY IS ANTI-SYSTEM GETTING INVOLVED
Kendra: Apparently Abyss Breaker still has a bone or two to pick with Eradicus and the whole damn team decided to pile on out here to help. Refs are desperately trying to GODDAMMIT NERO WHAT THE HELL
Lenny: NERO UNLOADING ON SM! NERO THROWING PUNCHES AT JASSY! RED GHOST TRYING TO WAVE HIM OFF, SAYING THIS ISN'T HIS FIGHT ANYMORE AND NERO SLUGS RED GHOST TOO! EVERYONE'S GONE M-
Simon: Rufus... just felt left out I guess?? Rufus out here throwing punches every which way and the refs are failing miserably at taking control of this match!!
Lenny: Can we get some order in-
Simon: Oh thank God.
Colin: EVERYONE.... STOP.
Kendra: Damn, Leprechaun got some bass in his voice over Christmas break.
The chaos freezes instantly with someone mid-punch.
Colin: This WILL NOT become like last year's W2. This is absolutely insane. I am as big a fan of chaos as the next person, but not like this. So here's what's going to happen. EVERYONE INVOLVED in this little massacre, you will have your time to settle this. But not here, not now. We'll set up a fun little match for our Final Day which you will fight in in addition to the tournament, should you make it to the tournament. But tonight, you're all going home. You're all done. Back to the locker rooms to get your things, and if you lay hands on each other on the way out then you will be replaced in this tournament.
Now I am aware that some of you were supposed to have matches still. I won't change the results of any matches that have already happened tonight, but anyone who was supposed to fight is taking a loss. That means-
- Chorker will be gaining the win over Black Saber.
- Victoria Scythe will be gaining the win over Daria Donner.
- Shawn Harris will be gaining the win over Nero.
Which means our next two matches will be canceled, and we will have a main event in the place of Harris/Nero. Now, I trust that you all will not pull this nonsense again. Get out of my ring.
Simon: Damn. He just banished Psycho Supremacy, Nero, Rufus, Sex Appeal, Deck of Hearts, AND Anti-System from tonight. Colin is not messing around.
Lenny: I feel a little safer with those monsters not hangin' around here today, not even a lie.
Colin: The main event tonight will be a Elimination Chamber Tag Title Match, between the X-Treme Society, The Harris Brothers, Asasanida SA, The Fabulous Firebirds, a surprise team, DoomSayers, Largess, and Stellar.
The crowd goes nuts!
Colin: Now! Onto the next part of our card!
ZORA LUTHOR VS STONEFIST
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: BULLSHIT!
Simon: This crowd is getting more and more restless as this goes. I can't blame them.
https://suno.com/s/3DBwTKXoD9xTSAsv
The arena lights dim, plunging the crowd into shadow. A low rumble of thunder echoes through the speakers, vibrating the ground beneath the fans.
Suddenly—a blinding flash of lightning cracks across the stage, followed by a roar of thunder that shakes the rafters. The titan appears.
Stonefist emerges from a curtain of smoke, cloaked in Greco-Roman regalia, his golden eyes glowing under the flicker of strobe lights. Each step he takes down the ramp lands like a war drum, synced with booming thunderclaps over the sound system. The crowd erupts into chants of “STONE-FIST! STONE-FIST!” as the storm builds around him.
Halfway down the ramp, he raises both fists to the sky. At once, pyro erupts like lightning bolts, streaking from the stage to the ceiling as the arena lights flash white. The sound system blasts a final thunderclap as if the gods themselves answered his call. He ascends the steps to the ring with the slow, commanding pace of a deity, slamming his fist into the mat as he enters.
The ring shudders under the blow, the crowd roaring as if Olympus itself trembled. He rises, arms stretched wide, basking in the storm he commands.
Ash: The storm has arrived… and tonight, Olympus walks among us! FROM THE THE PEAKS OF OLYMPUS, WEIGHING IN AT 380 POUNDS, IT'S STONEFIST!
Steam plumes shoot up with the first guitar licks. As the techno intro gets into full bloom, stock tickers fall in seemingly random patterns on the titantron, but disappear in a way that combined forms "ZLI" in the center negative space.
When the lyrics begin, an office chair rises up on the stage with Zora Luthor sitting, hands folded.
Men in business suits lift her out of the chair and shower her with money as she walks down the ramp.
Ash: AND HIS OPPONENT! The Founder and CEO of Zora Luthor International, the Head of the Conference Table, the Queen of Hostile Takeovers, ZORA LUTHOR!
Kendra: Zora had a rough start against Physio Joker, and she needs it turned around.
Lenny: Somehow I don't think this is the match that's gonna do that.
Zora makes it to the ring, and the men lift her up onto the apron. The bell rings! Stonefist immediately hits the Olympus Breaker Punch!
Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Stonefist wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner! STONEFIST!
Simon: Well, when you're right you're right.
Kendra: Of the three de facto heads of Zora Luthor International, the namesake is doing by far the worst. It's a far fall from the way things were happening last year.
Lenny: This year her compatriots ain't in the same group as her to offer her falls. She actually has to fight.
Kendra: She's watching her empire slip away, she's watching her chances at back to back tournament spots slip away, not a good time to be Zora Luthor.
Simon: And here comes one who could take the throne now.
AJA LIONESS VS SOMBRAS
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Simon: Oh good, they believed them this time.
A deep, throbbing heartbeat reverberates through the crowd—slow, steady, primal. A chilling mist creeps across the entrance ramp as eerie, flickering candles illuminate a shadowy figure in the distance. Aja Lioness stands motionless beneath a twisted archway of gnarled, blackened branches, her piercing gaze locked on the ring like a predator stalking its prey.
🕯️ [Music Begins—An Ethereal Chant Mixed with Thundering Drums] 🕯️
The air thickens. Aja moves forward, slow and deliberate, each step echoing ominously as her steel-loaded Zombie Boot hits the ground with unnatural force. She wears a long, tattered cloak—deep crimson against the black void around her—drifting behind her like living shadow. Beneath it, the pentagram-emblazoned shirt glows faintly under the dim lighting, its presence a sinister omen.
🔥 [With a Sudden Stop, She Lifts a Hand, Fingers Curved Like Talons] 🔥
The lights flicker violently—momentary flashes reveal glimpses of eerie symbols carved into the entrance ramp. Then, with an abrupt, thunderous stomp, Aja slams her Zombie Boot to the ground—the weight shifting within, loading her next strike.
👁️ [Her Voice, Low and Haunting, Breaks Through the Silence] 👁️
"You cannot fight fate…"
Ash: FIRST! From Salem, representing Zora Luthor International and Asesinato S.A., the Witch, AJA LIONESS!
[Final Steps to the Ring—She Removes Her Cloak, Tossing It Aside]
Her towering 6’2” frame commands the space as she climbs the ropes, surveying the audience with an unreadable expression beneath the eerie glow. As she steps into the ring, she methodically draws a line across her throat with two fingers—a silent promise of destruction.
⏳ The Witch Has Arrived. The Ritual Begins. ⏳
When Sombras makes his entrance, the arena plunges into near darkness, lit only by flickering red and black lights. A faint, ghostly chant resonates through the speakers, accompanied by the soft sound of wind and whispers. Sombras appears suddenly, materializing as though from the shadows, moving with a silent, predatory grace.
Ash: And his opponent! From the Forgotten Bloodline of Ancient Kings, at an average corporeal weight of 195 pounds, The Phantom of Shadows, SOMBRAS!!
His movements are fluid and deliberate, creating the illusion of a phantom stalking its prey.
As he approaches the ring, crimson mist begins to pool around him, intensifying his spectral presence. He enters the ring in eerie silence, crouching low in his corner as he fixes his piercing gaze on his opponents. When the bell rings, the shadows seem to envelop him, and the match begins in an atmosphere of dread.
The bell rings!
Simon: Two of the quickest and most agile fighters in our federation, Sombras moving with barely a sound and springboard bulldog to Aja! Sombras takes a running dropkick and before she can even see it coming puts her right back on the ground. A standing moonsault into a cover-
DeAndra: ONE! T-
Kendra: Lioness up and an arm drag to Sombras, going for the spinkick OH but it gets air, Sombras coming up from behind with a leg lariat but Aja sees it coming and ducks him! German Suplex!
Lenny: It's a game of timing goin' at Sombras, you gotta think like you're playin' Space Invaders. Don't shoot where he is, shoot where you think he's gonna be.
Simon: That's really astute, and few people are as effective at that as Aja Lioness. Her senses are almost attuned to the sound of air, and she ducks Sombras' dropkick! High kick and Sombras evades but Aja knows enough to stop her foot and quickly snaps it back! Got him!
Kendra: Aja probably one of the most brilliant minds in our federation.
Lenny: Shame she uses it for nefarious.
Kendra: She uses it to get ahead and I applaud her for that.
Simon: However you feel about her plans, you gotta respect her talent, and she lands a running Powerslam on Sombras-
DeAndra: ONE! T-
Lenny: Sombras up, and tries to get a snapmare going but Aja launches him with a back body drop!! Lining up the boot, we could get a Zombie Ra-Sombras plants her with a Missile Dropkick!
Simon: Up to the top, he could be looking for that Stomp, the Silent Curse, and down OH SHE ROLLS AWAY! HE GETS A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE AND URANAGE!!! SOMBRAS IS IN TROUBLE AND THE BOOT LINED UP.... ZOMBIE RAISING! TAKE HIM TO MOUNTAIN DOOM BECAUSE THAT WAS AN AJA BLAST!
Kendra: That hurt my soul.
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Aja Lioness wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, THE WITCH, AJA LIONESS!
Simon: She maintains that energy and keeps her streak alive.
Kendra: This means, again, the only high ranking ZLI member to be in trouble is Zora herself.
Lenny: Well, because of the chaos that canceled the last D Match, we didn't get to meet Danny Rayes' replacement, but now here we go, gang! I'm ready to see who's comin'!
Simon: OH! I KNOW HER! Okay! She's good. She was a really intense interviewer before she took up the stripes, and I have all confidence in her so long as she doesn't call a match with Power Play in it. Grew her hair out too, I see you Lisa.
Kendra: The Perv is back.
Simon: What I can't... you know what, let's just see her work.
Lenny: My guy, you are not helping your case.
Simon: The Match! Work the Match!
WOLFGUNBLUD VS DEDO APESTOSO DE LA MUERTE
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Crowd: WHO'S THIS REF?
Simon: Lisa Lane...I said it already.
Crowd: OH! OKAY! ONE FALL!
Wolf walks calmly down the ring and up the stairs.
Ash: FIRST! From San Diego, California, weighing in at 230 pounds, WOLFGUNBLUD!!
Lenny: Wolf here was the first match of this whole event. Didn't go so well for him. He's hopin' this one will be better than the last.
He does a front flip roll using the ropes to enter the ring finishing with a T pose.
Entrance Visuals - Gav tending his sheep, till he finds he mask and slowly puts it on to turn in to DEDO APESTOSO DE LA MUERTE.
He descends from the high South Wales valleys, he can hear Joe Hendry singing in the back ground ‘Say his name and he appears, we believe in Welsh Gav’ He stares down his opponent.
Puts on his luche libre mask decked out in the Welsh flag colours and becomes Dedo Apestoso De La Muerte.
Ash: And his opponent, from Cardiff, Wales, weighing in at 269 pounds, DEDO ASPESTOSO DE LA MUERTE!!!
He points at his opponent as he does the Funky Chicken. The crown chant ‘chicken, Chicken, CHICKEN!!!!!
The bell rings!
Simon: It's a tale of two cities here, one person looking to build a streak and the other looking to get out of a rut.
Kendra: And Wolf showing Dedo who's boss with an early ear slap.
Lenny: You mean disrespecting.
Kendra: I think we're saying the same thing here.
Simon: Follows that up with some hammer fists, double axe handle, bends Dedo over and an Axe Kick! This is the worst thing to happen to the Welsh since their last two years of Rugby. Wolf drags Dedo over to the corner and lifts him up to the top, I think we're gonna get some Angel Dust... Dedo stomps at the head of Wolf and pushes him away... taking a walk on the ropes and a Diving Elbow Smash!
Lenny: CHICKEN MAN! CHICKEN MAN!
Kendra: Oh Grow Up.
Lenny: Dedo Irish Whipping Wolf and we're about to get a Back Body Drop From The Valleys... UP WOLF GOES HE LANDS ON HIS FEET AND A BACK SPINNING WHEEL KICK! DAMMIT!
Kendra: Wolf taking a run to the turnbuckle and here comes the Burst! Much like Lenny's Bubble! And the pin!
Lisa: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Wolfgunblud wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, WOLFGUNBLUD!
Wolf climbs the corner of the ring blows air on his hand and fires an arrow in the air.
Kendra: And Wolfgunblud ties his ranking with Dedo, as they leave this match each with a 1-1. Only Wolf is in a better position because of the tiebreaker rule, where if you have the same score as someone but you beat them, you get an extra point.
Lenny: Rude. Well, who's our last C Match?
Kendra: Tribal Chief fighting Razi Kamal. Two scions of their relative groups.
TRIBAL CHIEF VS RAZI KAMAL
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Gold spotlights circle around the arena as Razi Kamal stands on the apron checking her nails.
Ash: First! Representing E.M. Powered, from Ray, Iran, PERSIAN PERFECTION, RAZI KAMAL!
Razi barely pays attention to the crowd as she walks down the ramp towards the ring, yawning and focusing on her jewelry. She steps up onto the apron and brushes her feet off, then steps in the ring.
Lenny: For someone who only a few months ago was "Reborn" she's certainly regressed ALL the way back.
Kendra: Back to when she would have been a champion, were it not for Kalpana.
White searchlight sweeps across the crowd. The Tribal Chief steps out slowly, scanning the arena like he’s mapping threats.
Ash: And her opponent! From Houston, Texas, weighing in at 260 pounds, the leader of Riot Block, The Tribal Chief!!
Halfway down the ramp he pauses, exhales sharply, then charges the ring with sudden explosive force. Inside, he circles every corner like he’s securing hostile territory.
Simon: Earlier today his lackey notched a win against Stitches the Clown. Let's see if he can keep Riot Block's energy going.
The bell rings!
Kendra: Chief coming in hot! A series of punches to the face of Razi Kamal that she is having a HELL of a time parrying, scoops her up and a Body Slam! Scoops her up again and a Backbreaker!
Lenny: She needs to spend less time focusing on her ROCK, her ROCK, and more time on the MATCH, the MATCH.
Simon: She's not gonna have time, Chief's too fast, drills her down with a Spinebuster, has her back up, RIP AND TEAR F5!!!
Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!
The Tribal Chief wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, THE TRIBAL CHIEF!!
Kendra: He is emerging as a dominant force in this W2. At this point, Razi and Pitta should just be relieved to have him in their rear view at a time where they can still recover their record.
Simon: We're now only 1 match away from what I'm being told is now a 10-TEAM Elimination Chamber, 2 more teams have been added to the match and we better hope this next match goes quick enough to where that number doesn't grow any larger.
Lenny: Where'd we get all these Chambers from?
Kendra: Costco.
HIGH RISK WINSTON LEWIS VS MAGNUS
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Paparazzi walk out and point the cameras at the entrance. The ramp uses a video of the red carpet and High Risk Winston Lewis struts out.
Ash: First! From Hollywood, California... his agent is legally blocking us from revealing his weight... one half of the MAWLIWOOD Blondes, HIGH RISK WINSTON LEWIS!
Lewis preens for the cameras as he struts down.
Kendra: Lewis just barely missed out on the Golden Group with that Pentacles Match, which means no 25K Magic for him. Must really burn him up.
Lenny: That's the thing 'bout these Hollywood dudes though, they always think they're hotter shit than they are, and now he's gotta play a bit part.
Lewis takes a moment to flash a Hollywood - nay, MAWLIWOOD - smile at the camera as he moves from the apron to the ring.
Lewis is disrobing to yawns in the audience when -
The lights flicker and dim, casting the arena in shades of black and crimson red, creating a shadowy, ominous atmosphere. Fog starts to roll in from the entrance ramp, swirling in thick clouds, making it difficult to see anything clearly—heightening the sense that something dark is about to emerge from the mist. Occasionally, flashes of bright white or red light cut through the fog, only further adding to the dramatic effect.As the music builds, a slow, steady walk is the first thing that stands out. From behind the curtain emerges Magnus, a towering figure silhouetted by the dim, red lighting.
Lenny: High Risk is arguing with his Stunt Double to get in the ring! He doesn't want any of this smoke!
Ash: And his opponent! From Ironforge, Norway, weighing in at 300 pounds, MAGNUS!
He steps out with a purposeful, deliberate stride, his broad shoulders blocking the light behind him, casting a shadow that looms over the ring and the audience. His expression is as cold and unreadable as ever, his eyes scanning the arena with an icy, calculating gaze.
Kendra: High Risk sees no reward here!
Magnus doesn’t rush to the ring. He moves slowly, as though he’s savoring the moment, letting the crowd feel his presence. The audience is split between fear and disdain, but no one dares to take their eyes off him. With every step, the fog swirls around him, enhancing his intimidating presence as he moves closer to the ring.His posture remains perfect—back straight, shoulders squared. Every movement exudes dominance and control. As he approaches the ring, he may glance over at the audience, never breaking his cold demeanor, letting them feel the weight of his gaze. He ignores any attempts at taunting or heckling, his focus solely on the ring and the task at hand.
Once Magnus reaches the ring, he stands for a moment at ringside, surveying the environment, scanning the crowd, and then slowly climbs the steps. As he enters the ring, he does so with a heavy, deliberate motion. The ropes bend slightly under his immense weight as he steps over them, his movements measured and controlled.
Upon entering the center of the ring, Magnus might raise his hand high, his fist clenched in a symbolic gesture of power, or he might simply stand there, letting the tension in the air grow even thicker. He doesn’t do anything flashy—his entrance is a statement, a demonstration of raw, intimidating presence.
Once inside the ring, the lights slowly return to normal, though the red glow still lingers around the edges, casting an unsettling hue over the scene. Magnus stands motionless for a moment, as if daring anyone to challenge him. His focus remains solely on the task at hand—the opponent looking like he's about to piss his pants. The bell rings!
Simon: Magnus keeps Winston Lewis in his sights, Winston looking for a graceful exit and instead gets a SPEAR!!
Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Magnus wins by Pinfall!
Ash: HERE IS YOUR WINNER! MAGNUS!!!
Kendra: Winston Lewis without Mark Anderson is like Laurel without Hardy. Abbott without Costello. Incomplete.
Lenny: You'd think that Tweedledee would be out here with Tweedledum but I guess not.
Simon: Well, we've reached the conclusion of today's W2 matches thanks to that multi-team car crash earlier, but we do have one more match for you.
Kendra: 7 teams were announced, 1 mystery team was promised, and now we've got 3 of those. And apparently, we're not gonna learn about them from entrance because the 8 teams who aren't starting have been lowered in 1-way glass chambers, so they can see us but we can't see them.
TAG TITLE MATCH
10-TEAM ELIMINATION CHAMBER
Ash: The following contest is for the Tag Team Titles! And it is an Elimination Chamber Match! Two teams will start in the ring. Every 2 minutes a new team will enter until all pods have been opened. The match will continue until only one team has members remaining, and that team will be crowned the MAWL Tag Team Champions!
One Asshole in the Audience: ONE FALL!
As the thundering riffs of "Painkiller" by Judas Priest erupt through the speakers, the arena’s lights flicker rapidly between harsh whites and fiery reds, casting shadows that twist and distort like a storm approaching. A sense of impending doom fills the air as the crowd starts to murmur in anticipation.
Suddenly, The Prophet steps out onto the stage, his sharp suit glinting under the flashing lights, an ominous presence at the center of it all. His dark eyes scan the arena, locking onto the crowd with a sense of power that draws all attention to him. With a slow, deliberate motion, he raises his arms, and the lights above flicker violently, plunging the arena into a momentary blackout. The crowd holds its breath.
Then, Doomsayer Pistol bursts from the shadows, sprinting to the ring with manic energy, his arms pumping and his eyes wide with excitement. As he jumps over the top rope in a fluid, high-flying maneuver, his adrenaline-fueled aggression is apparent. The lights flash rapidly as he takes his position, ready for action.
Doomsayer Hammer follows with a slower, more deliberate pace, his towering presence dominating the stage. He steps over the top rope with a deep, resonant thud, his sheer power emanating from every movement. The lights focus on his massive frame, accentuating the intimidating aura that surrounds him. His eyes are locked on his opponents, and there’s no mistaking his dominance in the ring.
Ash (with intensity and mystery):
"Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is about to be graced by the presence of one of the most fearsome and ominous teams to ever step into this ring…
With a combined weight of 510 pounds…
From Parts Unknown…
First, standing 6'0" tall, weighing 210 pounds, The High-Flyer of Fate, DOOMSEYER PISTOL!
"And his partner, standing 6'10" tall, weighing 300 pounds, The Titan of Tribulation, DOOMSEYER HAMMER!
"And with them, standing between them in a suit, the one who foretells their victory,
THE PROPHET!
"Together, they are…
**THE DOOMSAYERS!”
With The Prophet standing between them, his hand placed solemnly on their heads, the two Doomsayers kneel together as the lights snap back into an intense, flickering display of crimson and white, flashing in time with the song's relentless pace. The arena vibrates with the sheer force of the music and their presence. The Prophet smiles darkly, his eyes gleaming with malicious intent, fully aware of the chaos about to unfold.
The crowd roars, knowing that the end is near—no one is safe from the wrath of The Doomsayers.
Spotlights travel upwards to the giant presences that enter the stage.
Ash: And the team that drew the second slot! Standing at a combined height of over 13 feet tall, Leshy and Titan! They are LARGESS!
They step over the ropes to cheers. The bell rings!
Simon: And we're off! It's a sight often seen, the Military Men fighting the Giants. Pistol comes in with a running knee to push Leshy back, Hammer wasting NO TIME and HOLY HELL! SHELL SHOCK POWERBOMB! HE JUST TOOK THIS OVER SIX FOOTER AND CRUMPLED HER IN HALF!!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Titan is eliminated by Hammer! (1)
Kendra: It makes sense in a weird way, you bend someone that big over and they're gonna struggle to get their body back to baseline.
Lenny: Leshy using her size to her advantage though, and gets Pistol up OVER her head....GUERILLA PRESS!! SHE JUST DROPPED HIM LIKE HE WAS ON THE TOWER OF TERROR!! Going for the pin-
DeAndra: ONE! TWO!
Simon: Pistol gets his shoulder up, here comes Hammer to take advantage of Leshy not being full height to through some clubbing blows her way, oh he's gonna try to go 2 for 2 and we got a SHELL SHOCK AGAIN! Going for the pin-
DeAndra: ONE! TWO!
Lenny: YOOOOO LESHY REVERSES!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Hammer is eliminated by Leshy! (1)
Kendra: Pistol didn't try to save his partner?? The Hell?
Simon: It's because he was using that time to climb the chamber, down he comes with a leg bulldog on Leshy! Going for the pin but Leshy pops up easily, grabs him by his mask and LAUNCHES him into one of the Chambers!!
Kendra: She must be pretty curious to see who's in there!
Lenny: She's gettin' some stomps in on him, pushing him back into the chamber...oh she's got him up....Razor's Edge style...oh the arms are COMPLETELY outstretched now which can only mean LESHER HALL! DOWN PISTOL COMES!!! Going for a pin but no go.
Simon: She's getting aggravated, choke toss launches Pistol across the ring area! And she's stalking after him, but he has no fear and he comes right for her and takes a gut kick for his troubles! Up we go and LESHER HALL NUMBER 2!!!
DeAndra: ONE!
Kendra: PISTOL REVERSES!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO!
Simon: Leshy kicks out and we're about to see who team number 3 is!
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!
Kendra: Harris Brothers in the house! Shawn was ready for a fight when he was given the default win, and he's here to unload that energy.
Simon: And this is the first time we see the brothers working together, so let's see how this goes.
Kendra: Pistol heads back up to the top of a chamber, while Shawn kicks out the knees of Leshy... Shawn coming back off the ropes and a Hidden Blade! Pistol nails Kyle with a Cutter but Shawn's gonna get to a pin first-
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Leshy is eliminated by Shawn Harris! (1) Largess are out!
Simon: Shawn Harris rolls up from that pin, back around and PISTOL eats the Hidden Blade now!!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Pistol is eliminated by Shawn Harris! (2) DoomSayers are out!
Kendra: Shawn Harris cleans out both teams in short order, and... we've got some time to kill.
Lenny: Well the Harris brothers know from being in the chamber that they can be seen but their opponents can't, so they're taking the opportunity to take a tour of the chambers and taunt their upcoming opponents.
Simon: I thought they taught you not to bang on the glass in the Aquarium, and the Harris Brothers are just asking for trouble.
Lenny: It's the ol' internet problem. When you don't see who you're messin' with you feel invincible. But the moment one of these doors opens, these two better hope they can back up their bravado.
Kendra: They were only the first chamber to open, they got 7 more teams to outlast. And I think we're about to get a countdown clock.
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!
Lenny: It looks like someone got to these two before they entered, and they're much worse for the wear, Victoria locks up with Kyle and Shawn kicks Dante right in the stomach!! This is a travesty...Storm Driver 93!!
Kendra: They shoulda been more careful before entering this important match.
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Dante Rivera is eliminated by Shawn Harris! (3)
Simon: Victoria couldn't break out of the grapple in time to save her partner but she could make good on the grapple, Gutwrench Suplex on Kyle, going for the pin but Kyle kicks out.
Kendra: Shawn ready for Victoria as she gets up and OsCutter! Going for the pin-
DeAndra: ONE!
Lenny: Hell yeah! Victoria kicks out and throws Shawn out of the ring, Kyle charging her REBOUND SPINEBUSTER! She goes for the pin-
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Kyle Harris is eliminated by Victoria Scythe! (1)
Kendra: Shawn left to pick up the slack for his team, he's already got 3 eliminations to his name and going for a 4th... charging at Victoria, she gets him with a Tilt-A-Whirl Side Slam! Off the ropes and Victoria hits an elbow drop, going for the pin-this wily genius Shawn reverses!
DeAndra: ONE!
Lenny: Victoria kicks, both of them to their feet, Victoria immediately brings him back down with an STO, Shawn kips right back up and Snap Suplex! Trying the bridge but VICTORIA reverses this time buuut Shawn kicks before the 1.
Simon: Frustration setting in, Victoria going for a German Suplex OH SHAWN REVERSES TO A JAWBREAKER! Shawn coming off the rope and a Big Boot HE DIDN'T PUT HIS FOOT DOWN FAST ENOUGH! VICTORIA ATE IT BUT COMES BACK WITH A POWERBOMB! AND A BELLY TO BELLY! SHE COULD WELL BE ON HER WAY TO HIDDEN BLADE ENDS THAT DREAM!!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Victoria Scythe is eliminated by Shawn Harris! (4) X-Treme Society are out!
Kendra: Shawn Harris has eliminated four people and three of those have ended teams' nights. And now Shawn, on his lonesome, waits patiently for the countdown clock. Whatever happens next, he's going to be at a significant disadvantage.
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!
Simon: So here's the first team that was a mystery, not that exciting I have to say.
Kendra: We've still yet to meet the Godmother.
Simon: Yes, but I don't foresee that happening here and now.
Lenny: What I do see happening... a mid kick to Shawn, double underhook and BISONTENNIAL FACEBUSTER!! Pin attempt-
DeAndra: ONE!
Kendra: SHAWN REVERSES!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO!
Simon: Brick breaks it up! Shawn tosses Brick out of the ring, coming back around and HIDDEN BLADE ON LOU! Going for the pin, Brick from outside breaks it up!
Lenny: He's really seein' what that 2 on 1 looks like. Shawn chops Brick and Lou hits him with a boot!
Kendra: Shawn tosses Lou out of the ring, STORM DRIVER 93 ON BRICK!!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Brick Benson is eliminated by Shawn Harris! (5)
Lenny: I gotta hand it to Harris, he's showing a deft understanding of how to make these matches work. Lou back in, couldn't save his partner but a stiff punch to Shawn's face, Shawn punches him back, comes off the ropes and HIDDEN BLADE! GOOD LORD!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Lou Bison is eliminated by Shawn Harris! (6) The Garden are out!
Kendra: SHAWN HARRIS JUST WIPED THE GARDEN OUT BY HIMSELF! The Godmother, wherever she is, must be PISSED.
Simon: And he's still got like 50 seconds before the next one opens. Which is good because he'll need to conserve this energy while facing his next 2 on 1 scenario.
Lenny: And yep, he's cracking a nice cool ChungAde, one of our Sponsors for this event.
Kendra: He went for Blue, and I dig it.
Simon: Let's take a moment to discuss what Day 3's going to look like in light of everything that's happened the past 2 days.
Kendra: Sure. We've got a bunch of people in danger of being three in the hole... in group D Violet and Mansin are fighting in what could become a survival scenario, in group C we've got Alfos, Pitta, and Razi all starting to head towards extinction, and Pitta and Razi will be fighting each other to stop the slide. Group B I think is the most surprising, Winston Lewis and Zora Luthor are not two people I'd expect to see in this deep of a hole. Lulu, yeah, that makes sense, but Zora was runner up last year and would have been the first to get 2 wins then. And Lewis is a multi-time champ. And then Neonyx and Isabella in group A... I mean, granted they're up against the best of the best, but it's still a bit of a shock.
Lenny: On the other side of the coin, you got our dominant 2 and 0 crowd, Will Corrigan and Aja Lioness in group A, Schmetterling, Stonefist, and my dude Shade Shadow over in group B, Jassy, Pinoy, and Tribal Chief in group C which I personally think is THE group to watch, and Chorker and Aiko in group D, which Aiko really is turning her pain into results, but I hope that she can get back together with Rina. I'm rooting for those crazy kids.
Simon: You and me both, and we're now coming to our countdown clock to see what next team is going to try to unseat the ferocious and tenacious Shawn Harris.
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!
Simon: These two have had no shortage of controversy since teaming up, and let's see if their partnership serves them better today.
Kendra: Aja already has the Zombie Raising lined up, and blasts Shawn! Attempts a pin, HOW IS THIS DUDE STILL KICKING OUT! Not even a 1!
Simon: Rica scoops Shawn up and drops him with a powerbomb. Aja walking over for a pin, Shawn kicks Aja in the shin and gets her away, Rica's been climbing during this and now we see why, GIANT Diving Bulldog to Shawn! BRUTALITY!
Lenny: Dude still pops to his feet. I'm beginnin' to think he swallowed some balloons before this match to help him stay up.
Kendra: Shawn blasts Rica with a chop, one for Aja, DDT to Rica and Aja gets Shawn with a jumping knee! Shawn bounces up and I hate to admit your balloon theory isn't so bad, Shawn hits a huracanrana on Aja, Rica Irish Whips him into a corner before he can get a pin! This two front war is not tenable!
Simon: Rica takes Shawn to the top, MOONSAULT POWERBOMB! GRISELDA BOMB!! That has gotta be it!!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO!
Lenny: YO SHAWN REVERSES WHAT
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Rica Muerte is eliminated by Shawn Harris! (7)
Kendra: HOW. HOW IS HE STILL DOING THIS.
Simon: Whatever happens tonight, Shawn Harris has put on a hell of a show. He wants those belts badly. Running boot to Aja, knocking her on her face, and lining it up, this move alone has a hell of a hit count, HIDDEN BLADE! Hooks the leg-
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Aja Lioness is eliminated by Shawn Harris! (8) Asasenida SA are out!
Simon: The man has overcome multiple handicap situations and I'm starting to think he has a chance of pulling this off.
Kendra: It's a rare performer that makes this level of believer of anyone, but he is certainly living up to the Assassin moniker. That's 8 eliminations for Shawn Harris.
Lenny: You gotta think these teams are a little more hesitant to come out now.
Simon: Well someone's gotta do it and the countdown clock signals the next unlucky souls.
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!
Simon: What must be going through the Firebirds' minds?
Kendra: Not much time to think of anything as Shawn greets Guinevere at the door with a chop!
Lenny: What a Gentleman.
Simon: Morgan pays him back with a knee shot, Shawn keeping his attentions on Guinevere though and a Spinebuster! Going for the cover-
DeAndra: ONE!
Kendra: Guinevere kicks handily, OH AND A LOW BLOW KICK! A DDT!! She goes for the pin, but he gets the shoulder up before one and pushes her away with a back elbow on his way up, Morgan ready for him with a spinning backfist! He gets pushed back a tiny bit but not enough to cause too much problem and he snaps right back driving Morgan down with a short-arm clothesline.
Lenny: Guinevere tries to come to her rescue, Shawn catches her out STORM DRIVER 93!!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO!
Kendra: Morgan gets the rescue and Guin looks like she's sucking wind a little, Morgan with the Irish Whip to Shawn and catches him, BEAUTIFUL SIDE SLAM! Going for the cover SHAWN REVERSES IT! THIS LITTLE TWERP!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Morgan Maverick is eliminated by Shawn Harris! (9)
Simon: Guinevere got her air back, not quick enough to save her partner but now she's in avenging mode, a knee to Shawn's midsection and a headscissors takedown! That sends Shawn tumbling back but that just means he has runway and blasts her with a running forearm!
Kendra: Guinevere to her feet quickly, side suplex! Shawn Harris bouncing back up and a knife-edge chop to Guinevere, Guinevere gives a chop back NO Shawn blocks it and an elbow to her face, Shawn takes her down for a Roll-Up pin for his 10th fall GUINEVERE REVERSES IT!!!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Shawn Harris is eliminated by Guinevere! (1) Harris Brothers are out!
Lenny: SHAWN HARRIS IS DONE! THE REIGN ENDS BEFORE HE CAN MAKE THE FINISH LINE!!! What a run though!
Kendra: Guinevere mocking the fans, mocking Shawn, mocking the 9 people he eliminated, with a "what, like it's hard?" pose.
Simon: That dude took out your teammate after wiping multiple teams off the map single-handedly. Check yourself.
Lenny: We've only got 3 chambers left... can Guinevere pulls off a Shawn Harris?
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!
Simon: Guinevere greets Marley with a clothesline, and Vita responds in kind! Marley back to her feet as Vita Irish Whips Guinevere, Back Body Drop to Guinevere! OH But she pops back up and front dropkick to Marley! She turns around and blasts Vita with one too, Vita stumbles back and her head hits the turnbuckle!!
Kendra: Oof, that's gotta ring your bell.
Lenny: Guinevere launches Marley in Vita's direction, Vita instinctively moves out of the way and Marley's shoulder hits the post! Oh I wouldn't laugh if I were you, Guinevere, Marley looks pissed and she pushes Guinevere to the group...VENUS FLYTRAP! Submission locked in and Guinevere is in deep trouble now!
Simon: Guinevere trying to loosen her limbs and she may dislocate something in the process but she manages to worm her way out JUST TO EAT A DOUBLE SUPLEX BY STELLAR! Guinevere pops to her feet and makes a mocking face, FLAMING KICK TO MARLEY!
DeAndra: ONE!
Kendra: Vita saves Marley! Vita with the Irish Whip and Arm Drag to Guinevere, Guinevere snaps back to her feet and FLAMING KICK TO VITA NOW!
DeAndra: ONE!
Lenny: Marley repays the favor and frees her partner! Guinevere is not proving to be as effective as Shawn Harris was at this. Marley gets Guinevere by the head and a brutal knee to her ribs. Guinevere doubles over for a second but catches her footing and Spinning Heel Kick to Marley! Marley hits the mat but Vita catches her in the aftermath and BRUTAL POWERBOMB!! Looking for a pin, but Guinevere's rolled out of the ring!
Kendra: Not going too far, though, up on the top rope and Springboarding in SHE JUST CAUGHT THEM BOTH WITH A PHOENIX SPLASH!!! SHE'S GOING FOR A DOUBLE PIN!!!
DeAndra: ONE!
Lenny: Marley's shoulder is up.
DeAndra: TWO!
Simon: And there's Vita's, and Guinevere barely has time to react before Marley drives her down with a Piledriver!!!
Kendra: About to go for the pin, but they're interrupted by the sound of counting, it looks like the clock just struck.
9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!
Simon: THE MANIFESTATION OF DEFENESTRATION IS HERE!!! THEY ARE ONE OF OUR MYSTERY TEAMS!!! THIS CROWD IS LOSING IT!!!
Kendra: Perry comes in with a running Bodyslam on Vita and this frees Guinevere to go up, WINGS OF FIRE SHOOTING STAR ON MARLEY!!!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Marley Venus is eliminated by Guinevere! (2)
Simon: Guinevere up to her feet and immediately blasts Gilbert with a lariat, Perry scooting across the ring SHOOT THE DUCK SLIDING BOOT TO VITA!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Vita Mars is eliminated by Gilbert Glass! (1)
Kendra: Guinevere waiting for Perry to get up, FLAMING KICK!!! Going for the pin on Perry, Gilbert breaks it up! Gilbert with the Irish Whip to Guinevere.... BACK BODY DROP! He just sent her out the window, PERRY CATCHES WITH THE STUNNER!!! REALIZATION OF DEFENESTRATION!!! The cover-
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Guinevere is eliminated by Gilbert Glass (2) and Perry Payne (1)! The Fabulous Firebirds are out!
Simon: There's only one more team left, it's the greatest mystery of all!
Lenny: There's also a minute left until we learn about them, but what we are learning now is how the construction backgrounds of these two men will come into play! They find the pod next to the last unopened pod, and Gilbert under the ring...they've got a whole tool kit!! They're... they're unlatching a pod!! What is the plan here???
Kendra: This is why we need to keep the rule of if you're the only one left the countdown clock should pick back up, left to their own devices these people are nuts.
Simon: Well, it looks like they're satisfied with their handiwork, I am a little afraid to see what's going to happen to our mystery team.
10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!
Lenny: THE MYSTERY TEAM IS GOZU AND JACEN TAROT MANIFESTATION JUST DROPPED THE WHOLE MEOWING POD ON GOZU AND JACEN TAROT!!!
Kendra: THERE IS BROKEN GLASS AND METAL EVERYWHERE! They go for the double pin!!! What a way to win the belt!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Simon: And that's all she... wait! DeAndra is shaking her head!!
GOZU GOT HIS SHOULDER UP AT TWO!!! ONLY TAROT HAS BEEN PINNED!!!
Jacen Tarot is eliminated by Perry Payne! (2)
Lenny: Gozu lifts Gilbert up before Jacen and Perry can arise from the pin... DEVIL'S DESCENT!!!
DeAndra: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Gilbert Glass is eliminated by Gozu! (1)
Kendra: Perry finally to his feet, and he just now catches wind of Gilbert's being pinned! Staring Gozu in the face and a big knee to the midsection... Gozu barely twitches and just turns his head at him... Perry gets a kick back to the midsection!!!
DEVIL'S DESCENT!!!
DeAndra and Crowd:
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Perry Payne is eliminated by Gozu! (2) Manifestation of Defenestration are out, making Gozu and Jacen Tarot your winners!
Ash: HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS! AND THE NEW MAWL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... GOZU AND JACEN TAROT!
Simon: WHAT AN INSANE END! AND WE ARE ONLY IN THE SECOND DAY OF THE A CARD!! WHO THE HELL KNOWS WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT??? I am Simon Apple, here with Kendra Mavis and Lightning Lenny Cruz, saying so long and see ya next time.
Gozu raises the title belts high, then helps Jacen Tarot up and hands him his belt as we
FADE TO BLACK.
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