Total darkness. A faint spotlight flickers above, barely illuminating a single purple balloon, swaying gently as if it’s breathing. Static hums low. An eerie circus tune plays softly… reversed, distorted.

 

 

(A voice uneven. Childlike, but fractured. A whisper layered over a growl. It creep in from the void)

 

MAWL….

You’ve been so serious lately. So… predictable.

So many heroes, so many champions…

But where’s the fun? Where’s the madness?

 

A soft squeaky laugh breaks the silence – not from joy… from somewhere darker. The balloon bounces once as if responding.

 

They tried to keep me buried.

Told me the ring wasn’t a place for monsters.

But monsters? Monsters sell tickets.

 

A long silence. The light flickers. You hear slow, dragging footsteps just out of view. A metal chain scrapes across concrete.

 

You’ve cheered for your fighters.

You’ve booed your villains.

But none of you… none of you…

Have ever screamed the way I want you to.

 

The balloon slowly drifts toward the camera. Closer. Closer.

 

So keep laughing, MAWL.

Laugh while you still have a jaw to laugh with.

Because when I step into your ring…

The punchline hits… hard.

 

A gust of wind blows out the spotlight. The screen goes black. Silence… then one final whisper:

 

Stitches… is coming.

 

 

WildFire is backstage playing games on his cellphone when it beeps signifying it has received an important notification. WilldFire swipes up flicking his game aside as he checks the new notification.

 

WildFire : "Let's see May.. Day .. 2025 "

 

He reads "Lots of matches a pretty big super stacked card. Good matches maybe a little over stuffed.. hmmm , ahhh here we go ...."

 

WildFire starts swearing excessively, he almost tosses his cellphone into the nearest wall he is so angry. WildFire swears excessivly for several moments so long in fact that it starts to seem like we could be here all night He stops. He angrily locate his contact list on his phone and selects one. The phone rings and is quickly answered.

 

WildFire : "Ya dude, ya good to hear from ya too...."WildFire looks angry and Impatient "Uhh ya stuff, anyway you know why I am calling you right? Ya Ambulance Elimination Match with Pdiddy and 50 cent!!! YA (lots of swearing), so ... Ya . gonna need a thing from you.WHAT ??? Ya MOTHER F, I need you to build me the biggest meanest ugliest MAD MAX GODZILLA KILLING FLAME THROWER CHAIN SAWWIELDING AMBULANCE* , FREAKING EVER and I need it by 5 pm today!"

 

WildFire :"Ya thanks man... ya I'll see you for dinner Sunday, say Hi to the Wife and Kids for me. And thanks."

 

WildFire hangs up. An excessive amount of swearing continues as WildFire puts away his phone forgetting about his game.

 

 

The camera pans to the parking lot, where a polished black SUV pulls smoothly to a halt. The driver swiftly exits and opens the rear passenger door.

 

Luciano steps out confidently, a black mahogany-handled cane in his right hand, which he taps lightly against the pavement as he adjusts his leather hooded vest and aviator sunglasses. Every movement is deliberate. Power. Control. Swagger.

 

 

Irving Barth quickly approaches, microphone in hand, trying to intercept the enigmatic newcomer.

 

 

Irving: Luciano, Luciano – a moment of your time?

 

Luciano keeps walking, his cane clicking with each step, unfazed by Irving until the persistence forces him to stop.

 

Irving: Luciano, please, just a quick word?

 

Luciano stops, pivots slowly, and smirks. He plants the cane in front of him with both hands resting on its handle, then leans in just slightly, owning the space.

 

Luciano: My time is valuable. You’ve got three questions. Make them count.

 

Irving gulps and nods, bringing the mic to his lips, trying to keep his composure.

 

Irving: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m here backstage with Luciano, the newest addition to the MAWL ro— 

 

Luciano raises a finger and gently taps the cane once against the ground.

 

Luciano: Let’s slow down. I haven’t put pen to paper yet. I’m simply here to see if Elisa’s offer matches my expectations.

 

Irving nods nervously, momentarily thrown off.

 

Irving: Noted. I guess we start with why MAWL?

 

Luciano lets out a low chuckle, shifting the cane from hand to hand.

 

Luciano: That’s your first question? Fine. Let’s just say I’ve been watching from afar. MAWL has talent, it has ambition, but it lacks something crucial – it lacks me.

 

Irving nods, carefully choosing his next words.

 

Irving: Tonight, I have heard that Elisa has arranged for you to fight in a Forest Gauntlet Match, even though you’re not officially signed. Any thoughts heading into this matchup?

 

Luciano removes his sunglasses and hooks them into his vest, then slowly leans on the cane, his eyes now sharpened like blades.

 

Luciano: It seems Elisa wants to test me right out of the gate. Good. Everyone will learn exactly why I’m worth every penny she’s considering. And just so we’re clear Irving – that’s two.

 

Irving takes a breath, knowing the final question is key.

 

Irving: Alright, Luciano, final question. You’re known as “The Brooklyn Butcher,” a man feared in every ring you’ve stepped into. What exactly can the MAWL locker room expect now that you’re here?

 

Luciano steps forward slightly, tapping the cane twice as if marking the end of something soft and the beginning of something brutal. He lowers his voice.

 

Luciano: They can expect the game to change. People around here have been comfortable for too long. Tonight, they’re all going to realize that the comfort zone is over – MAWL is officially on notice.

 

He gives Irving a brief, almost patronizing pat on the shoulder, then pivots with his cane leading the way. He strides into the building, each tap of the cane echoing like a countdown.

Irving watches him disappear, visibly rattled but clearly intrigued, as the screen fades to black.

 

MAY 26, 2025
VIRGINIA BEACH, VA
LOVERS ARENA

 

 

Fireworks go off in the Lovers Arena. 

 

 

Colin: WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME!!!! TO MAYDAY!!! SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU WITH US, WE HAVE A HELL OF A SHOW! I'm Colin McRae-

 

 

Kendra: I'm Kendra Mavis.

 

Colin: And you may notice that there is a change in the grouping here. Arvin Wallace is out on injury and when he returns he's intending to go into the ring, so now in the third chair is a storied veteran of the announcing world, we are THRILLED to bring to MAWL Mr. Simon Apple!

 

 

Simon (hushed): Third? I kinda thought I was hired for lead commentary.

 

Colin (hushed): Don't know where you got that idea from, bud, I've been lead here for years. 

 

Simon: (momentarily dejected) Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. (perking back up) But still I am absolutely thrilled to be back calling some insane action and I hope that I can live up to the energy that Arby's left behind. 

 

Kendra: Really excited to have you calling the shots with us! Simon isn't the only new and fresh face around here! In fact, our first match is chock full o' new faces fighting for a chance to enter in that sixth spot in the Pentacles Match. Here's what some of those competitors had to say - 

 

 

Camera pans around the backstage searching for something....only a deep voice leading to the direction

 

Almost like a whisper, the voice echoes "Let me.... tell you a story!!!"

 

"the Forest, a place of deep origin, older than the stories we tell, the legends that have been born and the history we're doomed to repeat!!".

 

..the camera finally arrives at the source of the voice to a tattered jeans man, leant over reading from a book that can only be described as ancient.

 

 

"The Forest keeps many secrets, but to a chosen few, the forest can be the path...the way forward through all"......the figure closes the book with one hand and stands grabbing the camera towards him...

 

"The spirits of Papa Bois protector of the forests, and Anansi the story teller lay with me, they chose me, * voice getting deeper and louder** and that's why I am the one that will stand and claim the victory of this Newbie Forest Rumble.....where I will take each and every one of my opponents and put them through the table and they'll experience first hand.....the power of the forest!!!!!

 

Camera pans through buzzing backstage area—technicians moving crates, wrestlers stretching, and interviewers prepping. Suddenly, the energy shifts. The camera turns down a hallway where a spotlight shines.

 

 

Enter DXR, strutting with confidence in a designer Trench Coat, tight-fitting jeans, and a glint of mischief in his eyes. He’s flanked by a couple of starstruck crew members holding his custom gear. Every step feels choreographed, every glance intentional.

 

 

Irving: “DXR! You’re the hottest new signing in MAWL, and this is your first official appearance. The world wants to know—what brings the Heartstealer to our turf?”

 

DXR lowers his shades and gives a lazy, devastating smile.

 

DXR: “What brings me here? Destiny, baby. MAWL needed a little more magic, a little more mystery, and a whole lot more… me.”

 

He gives Irving a wink, and Irvin stumbles over his next question. But before he can recover. MAWL's own Imogen walks in on this.

 

 

She’s stunning, fierce, and clearly not one to be charmed easily. She crosses her arms as she approaches, eyes locked on DXR.

 

Imogen: “Let me guess—you’re the new ‘big deal’ walking around like the locker room's your private runway?”

 

DXR: (smirking) “Guilty. But only because runways don’t usually have someone like you waiting at the end of them.”

 

Imogen: (raising an eyebrow) “Cute. But I’ve seen your type before—flashy, cocky, and out cold in the ring by the second round.”

 

DXR: (stepping closer, lowering his voice slightly) “Difference is I look good even when I’m down. But trust me, gorgeous—I don’t go down unless I want to.”

 

Imogen: “Keep dreaming, Romeo. This is MAWL. Flirting doesn’t win titles.”

 

DXR: (walking backward, flashing a wink) “True. But it sure makes the journey a lot more fun”

 

He disappears leaving Irving stunned and Imogen shaking her head with a faint, amused smile.

 

Colin (V.O.): “DXR has officially arrived and he's already making waves backstage."

 

 

WildFire is standing off to the side watching the promo.

 

WildFire : "Hmm curiouser and curiouser"

 

He laughs and walks away. Two purple balloons trail close behind.

 

As we trail down the hall, Heloisa Cabral is talking to Slang Dang.

 

 

Heloisa Cabral: Good evening ladies and gentleman, I have the pleasure of introducing MAWL’s newest acquisition… please give us an insight on what to expect..

 

Slang Dang: Thank you Ms. Cabral for the introduction and I hope we could go by first names Ms. Heloisa?

 

Slang Dang winks and pats her hand. Heloisa blushes and nods, but pulls her hand away gently.

 

Slang Dang: Outside of Maniacal Action Wrestling League I have held many titles including the coveted Submission championship across MANY levels.

 

Slang Dang: That being said.. Call me Slang and everybody else can call me Dang right before they come to tap out… please.. You see Ms. Heloisa, I like to consider myself an expert at 101 holds submitting whoever stands in front of me in that squared circle… Gold, no gold, it doesn’t matter..

 

Heloisa: self proclaimed?

 

Slang Dang smirks

 

Slang: I guess I will have to turn you as well as every MAWL fan in attendance and watching around the world into believers.

 

Heloisa: Well there we have it ladies and gentleman. He wants to make us al into believers so let’s see what the future holds for Slang…

 

 

Simon: First day in and already we got mystics and creepy balloons.

 

 

Kendra: And that's BEFORE we even get to the guy possessed by a mask.

 

Simon: Mask possession. Okay.

 

Kendra: I get it, I thought I was just signing up for a run in the mill federation too. Don't get me wrong, there are guardrails. But things do get wild here.

 

Simon: Oh no, I'm good. I can do wild. Just acclimating. But let's get some action going!

 

 

Colin: That's the smartest thing you've said so far. Let's throw it down to Ash, as they're waiting patiently in the ring.

 

 

Ash: The following contest is a Forest Gauntlet Match! The match will begin with two individuals. Once one is put through a table, the next individual in the gauntlet will enter the match. This will continue until only one superstar is left, and that superstar will gain the sixth and final position in the Pentacles Match later tonight!

 

 

The arena darkens as Luciano's music hits, and spotlights flicker between dark red and white.

 

 

Ash: And now the individual who drew the first spot! From Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 294 pounds, the Brooklyn Butcher, LUUUUCIANO! 

 

Luciano slowly walks out onto the stage, pausing momentarily to look around, sunglasses reflecting the lights. He then confidently strides down the ramp, his intense gaze never leaving the ring.

 

Colin: Luciano arrived in style earlier and seemed less than impressed with the surroundings. 

 

Kendra: Yes, but he was looking forward to the competition, and if he can make it through this gauntlet, he'll have a tremendous start to his MAWL time.

 

Reaching ringside, Luciano climbs the steel steps, pausing dramatically before stepping through the ropes. Once inside, he removes his sunglasses and leather vest, revealing his heavily tattooed physique, and stares down the arena with a cold, calculated expression.

 

 

Start the music and then a light show over the Stadium.

 

In the middle of the Ramp there is a hole, from where Solrac appears on the hydraulic platform, with his back to the Ring and his arms raised, forming an X.

 

 

He appears with stylish jeans full of rips and a very tight classic shirt. His hair is short, but he has a very modern cut. He turns around and synchronizes with the music. He moves his arms from top to bottom, and when he touches the floor, a pyrotechnic show starts to happen.

 

Ash: And his opponent! From Aveiro, Portugal, weighing in at 209 pounds, the Olympic Machine, SOLRAC!

 

The bell rings.

 

Simon: Let's do this! First official MAWL match for me and for these fellas!

 

Colin: Locking up in a test of strength, Luciano has almost 90 pounds on Solrac and over half a foot but it's not stopping the Olympic Machine from putting up a hell of a fight, Solrac isn't getting there on brute strength but he uses his wiles, trip to Luciano and overhead belly to belly! Luciano back to his feet quickly and a quick punch to Solrac, the punch startles Luciano back a tic and it gives enough runway for Luciano to hit the Butcher's Blade Superkick! 

 

Kendra: In an everyday match, this would be a prelude to a fall for Solrac, but the only way out is through the wood. Luciano picks Solrac up, Solrac gets in a quick knee shot to Luciano's stomach and Belly to Belly! Solrac hits Luciano with a big leg drop! Luciano gets Solrac by his foot and dragon whip! Solrac tries to get to his feet and Luciano halts that with a tremendous boot!

 

Simon: Luciano's just reading Solrac like a book!! Parries the punch and a bee-yutiful European Uppercut! And Solrac grabs the arm into a judo flip!! Incredible! Solrac off the ropes and a big jumping elbow!

 

Colin: That's time you could be getting a table, but it's also important to wear down your opponent.

 

Simon: You can tell from Solrac's expression this is a strange place for him to be, where he's the smaller man. Solrac takes another good run and a moonsault splash! BOOM!

 

Kendra: The Olympic Machine truly running damage on his bigger opponent, Luciano getting to his feet and Solrac stopping that momentum with a giant suplex. Solrac hits him with a jumping elbow and is rolling out of the ring! I think he may be trying to prepare the first part of this party!

 

Simon: THERE'S A TABLE! WE ARE READY TO PARTY! HE THROWS THE TABLE IN THE RING! HE UNLATCHES IT! WE COULD BE HEARING A SHATTER! GRABBING LUCIANO BY THE ARMS AND Luciano pushes him away. Luciano moves the needle with a boot and hooks a suplex I think HE MIGHT BE TRYING TO PUT SOLRAC THROUGH AND GOING UP, NO! SOLRAC SLIDES BACK AND KNOCKS THE TABLE DOWN. GERMAN SUPLEX TO LUCIANO! What a show of strength!

 

Colin: Luciano back on his feet and a quick running clothesline to Solrac! Solrac rolls back to his feet and OLYMPIC SPINEBUSTER TO LUCIANO! WHAT A WRECKONING! Solrac sets up the table! He gets Luciano up! OLYYYYMPIC SLAAAAM! LUCIANO IS THE FIRST TO GO IN THIS GAUNTLET!

 

Luciano is eliminated by Solrac!

 

 

Neopolitan enters at #3.

 

Kendra: Here comes the winner of the GHW Gauntlet! And you can see his Gung Ho cohorts are all there in the front row, everyone who participated in that Gauntlet also got free tickets to see the show and a chance to go backstage. 

 

Colin: He calls himself "That Three Count Flavor", but he once again isn't going to be able to win by Three Count. He's gotta get a table set up if he wants a shot at the glory. He goes in and three jab combo to Solrac to start, and wrapping it with a gut punch! Neo off the ropes into a Springboard Somersault Axe Kick! He calls that the Cherry On Top! 

 

Simon: He could finish this right now! He leaves the ring and goes under the ap- no! He's heading towards his Gung Ho cohorts and appears to be mouthing off to them about being in this match!! This is a BAAAAD idea HERE COMES SOLRAC ON THE RAMP AND GERMAN SUPLEX TO NEOPOLITAN! GOOD GRAVY!

 

Kendra: Neo back to his feet and going for a Roundhouse, Solrac ducks! OLYMPIC SPINEBUSTER TO NEOPOLITAN! This young man had Solrac in a great position and his ego frittered it away! 

 

Simon: I wouldn't count him out yet, Solrac goes to pick him up and LOW BLOW! You want Nuts on your Sundae, they're gonna be Crushed! One Scoop Slam! Two Scoop Slam! A spin for flourish and that's gonna make three! THREE SCOOPS!

 

Colin: Up onto the Barricade and waiting for Solrac to get to his feet  - ANOTHER CHERRY ON TOP! Absolute destruction! But both men are a mile away from any tables! Neo goes to pick Solrac up and eats a European Uppercut! 

 

Kendra: Neo grabs the offending arm and Judo Flip! That steel ramp is not Sol's friend right now!! 

 

Simon: Solrac isn't cooked yet! He jumps up and drives Neo's face into the mat with a mat slam! You wanna talk about a cherry on top, that's Neo right now!

 

Colin: Looks like it just aggravated him more, back to his feet and he grabs Sol's legs! Could be going for the Spinebuster - HE IS FORCING SOLRAC INTO A SPLIT! AND ATOMIC DROP! BANANA SPLIT!

 

Kendra: Pure aggression from the Gung Ho entry, he wants to prove he can hang with the best of em. German Suplexes Sol towards the direction of the ring. And picking him up now into a Bear Hug, HE CHARGES SOL INTO THE CORNER OF THE BARRICADE! The Olympic Machine may need to be sent for repair! Sol wrenching in pain now, Neo drives a bionic elbow into the spine of Solrac! Neo getting the table! He's setting it up OVER the Staircase! Picks Sol up into a Fireman's Carry! He's walking him to the apron...he's climbing the turnbuckle.... AVALANCHE SAMOAN DROP THROUGH THE TABLE AND ONTO THE STAIRS! SO LONG SOLRAC!

 

Solrac is eliminated by Neopolitan!

 

Simon: If Neo wants to prove he can hang with the big dogs, that was a hell of a way to do it. 

 

 

Alfos enters at #4.

 

Colin: If I were Alfos, I'd try to make quick work of Neo so I can go the distance. 

 

Kendra: Alfos may not have a choice in the matter, Neo hits him with a spear before he can make it to ringside! Welcome to MAWL, Alfos!

 

Colin: Alfos up quickly and snap suplex to Neo! Neo to his feet and he lifts Alfos up into the spinebuster position...ohhh there go the legs and BANANA SPLIT. And a huge Exploder Suplex by Neo onto the ramp. Alfos up quickly again and the two of them exchanging blows!! Alfos pushes Neo back a bit and runs towards the Apron, looking under and a Table's out! Neo shoulder blocks him before he can set it up, but we now have a table in play.

 

Simon: Alfos turns around and DECKS him with a stiff punch! Show that boy some manners, Alf! NEOPOLITAN ANSWERS WITH A SPINNING SPINEBUSTER ONTO THE STEPS!

 

Kendra: Alfos rolls back over the steps, and jumps them with a forearm smash!! Picking him up and a neckhold....UP GOES NEOPOLITAN....DOCKYAAAAARD DROP! 

 

Simon: Neo crawling towards the apron, lifting it up, and pulls out...A WAFFLE IRON! ALFOS GOES FOR AN ELBOW DROP AND EATS A WAFFLE IRON TO THE FACE! Alfos stumbles back and hits the step but gets up with a forearm shot. 

 

Colin: Alfos hits an inverted suplex! Neo clearly struggling to his feet, but he's got that Waffle Iron again and opens it on Alfos's face!! Neo with a bulldog into that Waffle Iron!

 

Kendra: Neo slams the top of the iron onto the back of Alfos's head. Alfos gets back to his feet, tries to set up the table and the legs are up, NEO WITH THE CHERRY ON TOP DRIVES ALFOS THROUGH THE TABLE!!

 

Alfos is eliminated by Neopolitan!

 

 

Slang Dang enters at #5.

 

Colin: Slang Dang runs out and is already greeted by a knee shot. Slang Dang pushed back a bit but that gives him a runway to hit a standing dropkick. Neopolitan now pushed back as well, Slang Dang going for another dropkick and Neo grabs his legs! Throwing him into the barricade! 

 

Simon: Neo up to the barricade, and Cherry On Top! Slang Dang is still fresh though, and ready to keep going and immediately drives Neo with a Chop Breaker! Slang Dang up on the barricade - Back Spinning Wheel Kick! Neo to his feet and discus clothesline! 

 

Kendra: Neo coming for a running Cross Body and Slang Dang gets him up fooooor a SLANG A DANG SLAM! 

 

Simon: Accent on the DAAANG! Neo struggling to his feet, Slang Dang starts to pick him up and back body drop by Neo onto the stairs! Slang lands hard! 

 

Colin: It occurs to me that Neo's fight has been mostly done outside. I don't think they've been back in the ring since he mouthed off to his cohorts. Slang Dang over the steps and running DDT to Neo!

 

Simon: HOW IS NEO STILL MOVING? He goes back under the apron and gets out a chair! He whips it straight at Slang Dang's head and that slows him down, Slang Dang picks it up and NEO ROCKET KICKS IT INTO HIS FACE!

 

Kendra: NEO PUTS THE CHAIR AROUND SLANG DANG'S NECK! ONE SCOOP! TWO SCOOPS! THREE SCOOPS! Oh Good God!

 

Colin: Neo back under the apron...here's a table! Wait! Here's two tables! But Slang Dang rolls him into the ring before he can set them up. We were wondering how Neo was still moving but now I gotta ask that of Slang as well.

 

Kendra: Slang Dang removes the chair from his throat but Neo jabs him right where it was lodged! Neo back out to the ring to pick up a table. He brings it into the ring and props it all nice in the corner, don't know what's gonna happen now. 

 

Simon: What's gonna happen is Slang Dang with a running clothesline, Neo moves enough to not go through the table, but not enough to miss the impact entirely. 

 

Colin: Neo slides through the legs of Slang Dang and inverted Monkey Flip! Neo goes for another chair...takes a run and skateboard front dropkicks the chair into the face of Slang Dang! Neo with a stomp and climbs to the top...Slang Dang pulls the rope! Neo goes down! Both men are completely wiped! How are either of them going to get through the rest of this gauntlet??

 

Kendra: Both men fighting to get to their feet...there will be no ref double count here, the only way out is through the forest. 

 

Simon: Neo stirs first and he is strugglin' but he picks Slang up...up on the shoulders...FIREMAN CARRY TO THE OUTSIDE! SLANG MEETS THE STEPS ON THE WAY DOWN AND NEO FEELS THE WEIGHT OF THIS MATCH AS HE HOLDS ONTO THE ROPES TO KEEP BALANCE!

 

Colin: Neo climbing up to the turnbuckle, this is a bad idea but he's going to do it...Diving Moonsault to Slang Dang! 

 

The fans chant "This is Awesome!" 

 

Kendra: Neo gets to the table outside....he's got it propped up, OH he stumbles and needs to hold onto the table, Neo taking a moment to rest his head on the table WHEN DID SLANG DANG GET UP! SLANG DANG OFF THE APRON AND LEG DROPS NEOPOLITAN THROUGH THE TABLE!!

 

Neopolitan is eliminated by Slang Dang!

 

Simon: NEO TOOK SLANG DANG TO THE ABSOLUTE LIMIT BUT SLANG TAKES HIM OUT OF THE EQUATION!

 

 

Amazon Pryme enters at #6.

 

Colin: I'd heard rumors Zora Luthor hired her old tag team partner from the indie days into her fold and I guess they've just been proven true. She's been fed a pretty wrecked Slang Dang. 

 

Kendra: She pimp slaps Slang Dang. Lifting him up over her head... MILITARY PRESS ONTO THE APRON! Rolling him into the ring, and she is looking to get Slang out of this quickly. Eyes on the Table propped in the corner...gets Slang Dang by the legs and IT'S A BIIIIG SWING! She Olympic Hammer Throws him right through the table!!

 

Slang Dang is eliminated by Amazon Pryme!

 

Simon: Slang Dang was left in a condition where there was no way for him to win this match, but damned if he didn't fight to the absolute limit. That young man should be so proud of what he did in this ring, he proved he's going to be one to watch. 

 

 

DXRoyal enters at #7.

 

Kendra: The man is a devilish flirt, but in the ring, he is not one to mess with. 

 

Colin: DXR attempts to give Amazon a flower, she rips it out of his hand and stares him in the eye as she throws it out the ring. 

 

Simon: Charm offensive fails, so physical offensive begins! He comes in with a flurry of kicks. Trying to finish it with a roundhouse, she blocks and rocks him with a short-arm lariat! He backs off and they stare each other down again. DX motioning to give him a little kiss and THAT was a bad idea, she straight punches him in the mouth. 

 

Kendra: Steps back, wipes his mouth, and it's like the atmosphere has changed. He plants a bicycle kick on her! She responds with a right hook! Forget the love connection, we have a fight.

 

Simon: Running big boot sends DX stumbling back! She charges him again and Celtic War Sword!! She goes to pick him up KISS OF DEATH OUTTA NOWHERE! It's like an RKO but sexier!!

 

Kendra: Good lord.

 

Colin: DXR rolls out of the ring and goes under the apron, he produces a table. He sees Amazon stirring and slides the table in, but leaves it be and enters on his own. 

 

Kendra: See, that's smart ring awareness. Setting up a table takes a bit of time and you really have to keep your eyes on your opponents lest you set up your own downfall. I mean, look at Neo just a little bit back, Slang Dang caught him out in setting it up. 

 

Simon: DXR cuts her off at the pass and scoops her up, SAMOAN DROP! Beautifully executed. And he keeps the pressure on with some angry stomps. 

 

Colin: Amazon gets the leg and stops the stomps, to her feet and Alabama Slam to DXR! And she follows it with a deadlift Powerbomb! The strength on this woman is incredible!! 

 

Kendra: She pulls him up easily and sends him on an Irish Whip Mission, he ducks the lariat, back around and Amazon tries to grab him but he jumps her and a SOMERSAULT FLIP POWERBOMB BY DXROYAL! Amazon isn't taking this lying down though - GETS A MILLION DOLLAR DREAM LOCKED IN...AND TRANSITIONS IT INTO AN INVERTED SUPLEX! SHE CALLS THAT THE WONDER OF WALL STREET! DXR won't stay down though, kips up and a terrifying T-Bone DDT! Quick stomp to keep AP down, and gets to the Table! 

 

Simon: Aw yes, here we go! Table is set up! 

 

Colin: DX tries to pull Amazon over to it but eats a Ripcord gut kick. Amazon trying for a suplex - NO! DX gets his feet back down and back body drop! Amazon with a kick to DX's ankle, and he loses a little bit of footing! But catches himself back before she can capitalize.

 

Kendra: Not entirely true, she does get one middle kick but you're right, it's not what she was looking for. She lifts him up and going for the military press into the table NO HE HOOKS HIMSELF ON THE TOP ROPE! Going for a Springboard but AMAZON BOOTS HIM OUT OF THE RING AND HE FALLS PAST THE APRON!

 

Simon: DX gets himself back up, climbing the turnbuckle, NO! AMAZON CATCHES HIM WITH A PUNCH AND GOING FOR A SUPERPLEX! WAIT - NO!! HE PUSHES HER BACK AND SHE LANDS ON THE TABLE, HE ELBOW DROPS HER THROUGH THE TABLE!!!

 

Amazon Pryme is eliminated by DXRoyal!

 

The fans chant "This is awesome!"

 

Kendra: Second "this is awesome" chant we've gotten this match!

 

 

Reverend Abner Almighty enters at #8. Instead of entering the ring, he grabs a microphone.

 

Rev. Abner: ENOUGH!

 

The crowd boos.

 

Rev. Abner: I come not to participate in this sacrilegious farce, this paean to excess, this desecration of altars, this ABSOLUTE MOCKERY of Clean Content. I come to demand it be cast away in the NAME of THE GOOD AND PURE. 

 

DXR shakes his head in irritation.

 

Simon: I don't think the Good Reverend's opinions are very popular with the crowd or the other superstars.

 

Colin: What gave you that idea?

 

Kendra: DXRoyal grabs the Reverend by his Tie! HE HAS HIM UP IN A SAMOAN RACK! UP ON THE PORTUGUESE ANNOUNCERS' TABLE AND SAMOOOOOAN DROP!

 

Reverend Abner Almighty is eliminated by DXRoyal!

 

 

Propaganda enters at #9.

 

Colin: The man is a rapper, poet, podcaster, and now wrestler. Maybe he'll take the seat from SM as the resident podcaster. DX greets him with a quick punch and immediately hits him with a Kiss of Death!! 

 

Kendra: Well, some people have opinions on people from outside the industry stepping into the ring, and it's clear when that's the case. 

 

Simon: DXR grabs Prop by the stomach and solid gutwrench suplex! Prop rolls back and uses the steps to get a front dropkick on DXR! DXR runs back at him with a clothesline tumbling him to the other side of the stairs and absolutely laying into him with those angry stomps! 

 

Kendra: Prop gets that foot and dragon leg screw!! Prop hits a belly to belly! DXR with a leg sweep and to his feet. Prop responds with a chop block! OH DXR SHOOTS THAT LEG RIGHT BACK INTO A LOW BACK KICK! WHAT RING IQ! And a Yes Kick by DXR! Going for another Yes Kick but Prop hooks the grounded leg to cause DX to lose his balance. 

 

Colin: Prop up and charging DXR with a clothesline but he docks and hooks him up into Samoan Drop! DXR under the apron and pulls out a Kendo! Going to town on Prop's back! Prop grabs the stick and pulls it from DXR and wracks the back of DXR's ankle. Prop gets a Glam Slam setup and into a Lungblower! He calls this a Prop Up!  DX clearly struggling but takes out the legs of Prop!

 

Simon: DX grabs the Kendo stick again and completely shatters it over the stomach of Propaganda! And Bicycle Kicks Prop over the stairs! Stomps the leg of Prop on the step! DXR grabbing a table out from under the apron and slides it into the ring but Prop is up in his face and blasts him with a short arm lariat! Into the ring and he sets up the table! He's getting the crowd pumped up - WHOA DX ON THE APRON AND PULLS HIM OFF THE TURNBUCKLE INTO A SIDE POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE!

 

Propaganda is eliminated by DXRoyal!

 

 

Jay-Z enters at #10.

 

Colin: Jay-Z gets DXRoyal up on his shoulders, and up to the top turnbuckle...eyeing the Flemish Announcers' Table... BIG PIMPIN DROP THROUGH THE FLEMISH TABLE! DXROYAL IS DONE!

 

DXRoyal is eliminated by Jay-Z!

 

Kendra: DXRoyal got three eliminations under his belt, but Jay-Z showed him that rappers can get the job done too.

 

 

Guinevere enters at #11.

 

Kendra: Jay-Z jumps into the ring with a double axe handle to Guin! Jay with a snap punch and going for a jab... Guinevere ducks and gets him in a backpack position! Going for a run... SOMERSAULT SENTONS INTO THE TURNBUCKLE!! 

 

Simon: That move was truly bananas!

 

Colin: Somehow I don't think Jay-Z is appreciating the creativity quite as much...but Guinevere up and SHOOTING STAR! RIDING HIGH ON THE WINGS OF FIRE!

 

The crowd pops.

 

Kendra: Guinevere has the crowd clapping along with her, taking a run and a cartwheel moonsault! Having them clap along again and taking the cartwheel moonsault from the other side NO JAY Z CATCHES HER AND A RUNNING POWERSLAM!

 

Simon: She tries to use a handstand to kip up JAY Z TAKES OUT HER HANDS WITH A SWEEP KICK! And now he's stomping her out!! Here comes a fist drop!

 

Colin: It's wild how much momentum can shift in just a moment. Guinevere was dominating for a bit but now she's looking she she might be in peril. He gets her up on his shoulder and it looks like we're gonna see it again...Up to the Turnbuckle... BIG PIMPIN DROP TO THE OUTISDE! Up to his feet and quick kick to her ribs, oof.

 

Kendra: Jay-Z starts to search under the apron...Guinevere is stirring! He grabs the first thing he can find, and it's a lead pipe! She comes for a run to cut off his momentum but arm flinger whip! 

 

Simon: He's goin' swingin' with that pipe...no! She kicks the pipe out of his hand and follows for effectively a step up enziguiri! Well played!! Jay-Z stumbles back a little but gets his footing and back under the apron- ah! There's the table. Watch out Hova!!

 

Kendra: Guinevere with a jumping roundhouse kick to the back of Hova's head, delivered with such force that he fell with the table to the steps! And the table is broken!! It counts!!

 

Jay-Z is eliminated by Guinevere! 

 

Simon: THAT. WAS. GENIUS.

 

 

Cellula enters at #12 right behind Guinevere. 

 

Colin: When did he get here? 

 

Kendra: He just appeared... no music, no fanfare. I guess this must be Cellula. Guinevere instinctively catches him with a wild roundhouse kick! And with a flourish and no missed beat spins around and gets him with the lariat too! He responds with a quick right jab to the rib area, trying to get some rhythm but Guinevere blocks his punch and high kick to the back of the head!

 

Simon: Seems like she's been watching Bloodswan fight! These motions are fluid and seamless while keeping her firebird flash!

 

Colin: He's starting to catch on and starting to bob and weave, and now rushing in and trying for some machine gun punches, throwing both hands at her! Guinevere blocking and dodging with some struggle but 100 percent effectiveness, he goes to throw a right hook-oh! He stops himself and headbutts her! She didn't see THAT coming!

 

Kendra: He succeeds in throwing her off her game! Polish hammer keeps the pressure on and a GHOST STEP SPINEBUSTER! 

 

Colin: Cellula with the headlock on, wrenching her neck and a sharp elbow to the face! 

 

Simon: He may not be able to finish her but it's an effective technique to wear her down. Guinevere trying her best to fight out of it-OH SHE'S UP AND SHE'S GOT HIM IN A BACKPACK! AND WE'RE GONNA GET A REPEAT BUT WITH THE STAIRS!!! 

 

Kendra: Moves like that will take it outta ya though... Guinevere struggling to get up, Cellula underneath her and SOLO FANTASMI E OMBRE!!

 

Colin: Cellula nods curtly, seems like he thinks he has this all wrapped up, going for a table-

 

The crowd starts to crescendo!

 

Colin: GUINEVERE RUNNING UP THE APRON SPRINGBOARDING OFF THE ROPES AND A PHOENIX SPIN INTO A DDT!! Cellula's bald head just bouncing off the staircase! This capacity crowd is on their feet and Guinevere taking a moment to OHMYGODGHOSTSTEP! CELLULA LAYS HER OUT!! 

 

The crowd cheers go right into an "OH!"

 

Kendra: Whoever wins this still has to fight in a Pentacles Match later!!

 

Simon: Cellula giving Guinevere a kick in the gut to make sure she's down for the moment before looking under the apron, going back to look and GUINEVERE TAKING A RUN NO! CELLULA HOOKS THE LEG AND SHE GOES DOWN! SHE ROLLS OFF THE APRON! Cellula grabs a table and slides it into the ring.

 

Colin: Cellula in the ring, setting up the table, taking a moment to catch his breath. Guinevere struggling up to the apron, making her way and Cellula hip tosses her into the ring! JUST misses the table. Cellula walks over to Guinevere and stomps to the face! 

 

Kendra: Well, he's not here for the fans, he's here for the win. So they can say what they want. Cellula gets her with a leg drop! HE PICKS HER UP AND GHOST STEP THROUGH THE TABLE! WAIT NO THE TABLE DIDN'T BREAK!! HOW??

 

Simon: If you watch that again, Guinevere had the frame of mind to put her hands down, pushing the table down and collapsing it! She still takes the full brutal brunt of it, but she's still in the match!

 

Colin: A big stomp to Guinevere's ribs! GUIN TRIPS HIM AND LOCKS IN AN STF CHOKE! 

 

Kendra: I usually hate this strategy, but as much brutality as Guinevere has felt, she needs to slow the match down a bit to try to get herself back in the match. 

 

Simon: Cellula headbutts Guinevere and gets her to let go! He gets back to his feet and gets the table! Placing it on the turnbuckle, Guinevere making one last ditch effort and coming for a running dropkick, CELLULA GETS HER LEGS AND SLINGSHOTS HER INTO THE TURNBUCKLE AND THROUGH THE TABLE!! GUINEVERE IS DONE AND DUSTED!!

 

Guinevere is eliminated by Cellula!

 

 

Pitta Power enters at #13.

 

Kendra: Cellula out of the ring, lifts him up... INTO THE ITALIAN TABLE SPINEBUSTER!

 

Pitta Power is eliminated by Cellula!

 

 

Hot Mess Jess enters at #14!

 

Simon: Cellula greets Jess with a series of jabs right off the bat. Jess gets to the corner and taking a run, JUMPING X FACTOR! HOT MESS X PRESS!!

 

Kendra: Cellula struggling a bit, Jess to the top and Swanton Bomb! She is getting the fans pumped up, Cellula coming behind her - lifts her up into a high angle backbreaker! She rolls off but quick kick to the ankle of Cellula on the way down. Cellula unbothered, lifting Jess up and taking a huge run, SPINEBUSTER! He locks in Taglio della gola to wear her down!

 

Simon: This match has been devastating move after devastating move, all the competitors going big real quick and trying to exert maximum damage.

 

Kendra: This is not some slap and chop fest. If you want chops for 6 minute play Fruit Ninja. Cellula continues to wrench the hold intensely. Cellula pulls Jess up and Cobra Clutch Suplex to the outside! Cellula setting up the table as Jess climbs.

 

Colin: Jess under the apron and going for something.... she has a shovel! Jump up to the apron, using the shovel and whacks Cellula down NO CELLULA FLAPJACKS HER THROUGH THE TABLE! SHE IS OUTTA HERE!

 

Hot Mess Jess is eliminated by Cellula!

 

 

Elijah enters at #15.

 

Kendra: They call him the Cryptic One, and I don't know that I'd want to step in the ring with him. Terrifying.

 

Simon: Well, Cellula fears nothing and he gets two right hooks in and DRIVES HIM DOWN WITH THE GHOST STEP. Elijah quick to his feet, he also fears nothing. Cellula mows him down with a second one!! ELIJAH QUICK TO HIS FEET AGAIN! Cellula going for a boxing hook combo and Elijah dodging it like it's nothing, Cellula pivots and knee to the gut.

 

Colin: If you can't get him with boxing, switch to Muay Thai. Elijah continuing to present as unbothered, Cellula goes for another knee strike and Elijah moves!! He parlays that into his modified backbreaker!!

 

Kendra: Crick, Crack, Monkey Break His Back!!

 

Simon: Cellula struggling back to his feet a little and Elijah is ready for him with that high knee! Elijah going for a high knee with the other leg and Cellula gets him with an exploder suplex! Cellula picks the shovel up that Jess was going to use and whams it into the ribcage of Elijah! And one shot to side of the head!! One to the other side!!!

 

Colin: GHOST STEP!Cellulah  Elijah had a brief moment of flame and Cellula is mechanically extinguishing it. WAIT! ELIJAH GRABS THE SHOVEL! HE'S RISING UP, EYES LOCKED ON CELLULA, THROWS THE SHOVEL AND TILT A WHIRL BACKBREAKER TO CELLULA! 

 

Kendra: Cellula grabs at his legs and pulls him down to the mat too!! They're both down!! No, Elijah up fairly quickly and he's not staying down no sir! Picks Cellula up and has him locked in a Half Nelson!

 

Simon: Just a reminder, only way out of this match is through a table. Cellula with the elbow to the gut and he breaks free of Elijah's hold! Elijah drives another high knee into the face of Cellula! 

 

Colin: CELLULA GRABS THE KNEE AND PULLS HIM UP! INTO THE FIREMAN'S CARRY! UP TO THE ROPES, UP TO THE TOP OF THE TURNBUCKLE... SOLOOOOOO FANTASMI E OOOOOOOOOOOMBRE! TO THE OUTSIDE!

 

Simon: Cellula with three quick stomps to the midsection to try to keep Elijah down, it doesn't work! Elijah to his feet and Cellula with a gut punch! Cellula going for a powerbomb NO ELIJAH REVERSES INTO A HURRICANRANA OVER THE STEPS! CELLULA FINDS A TASER UNDER THE RING AND OHHH!!! THAT'S NO FUN FOR ELIJAH!!! 

 

Kendra: This might be the first sign of some pain on Elijah's face. Minimal, but there. Cellula drives a punch into his face. Elijah falling back... Cellula under the apron now and getting, setting up a Table! CELLULA RUNS UP ON THE TABLE AND HURRICANRANAS CELLULA THROUGH! OH MY GOD!!

 

Cellula is eliminated by Elijah!

 

Colin: We are down to the last person and Elijah just saved himself, but he's got one match to go-

 

 

Aiko is the final entrant.

 

Kendra: AND AIKO IS GOING TO BE THE LAST IMPEDIMENT BETWEEN ELIJAH AND THE PENTACLES MATCH!

 

Colin: Aiko charging full speed ELIJAH CATCHES HER! CRICK CRACK! MONKEY BREAK HIS BACK!! 

 

Simon: Aiko to her feet with a Spinning Backfist! Aiko someone I'm somewhat familiar with, and knowing her I would say that she has a slim chance but it's not "no chance."

 

Colin: Each move by Elijah makes it slimmer, as Elijah gets her up into a body slam. Aiko responds with a Sweep Kick! Elijah starting to lose a bit of footing, she goes running for the cross body and he catches her into a tilt a whirl backbreaker! A pair of Cryptic Stomps to her legs. 

 

Kendra: She sweeps him again! And a Sliding Axe Handle! He gets up way too quickly, SNAKE EYES INTO THE POLE! Wait, she holds onto the Pole and DEADLY NIGHT SHADES ELIJAH INTO IT! She kicks him in the gut and gets back to the ground. Another kick to the gut!! Aiko gets the Table!!

 

Simon: Aiko setting the Table underneath where Elijah is slumped! AIKO TO THE TOP! MOOOONSAULT! AND THE KNEE IS OUT!! TSUKIKAGE YAIIIIIIBA! AND IT WORKS! SHE DRIVES ELIJAH THROUGH THE TABLE! AIKO IS THE LAST PARTICIPANT IN THE PENTACLES MATCH!!!

 

Elijah is eliminated by Aiko, making her the Winner!

 

Aiko's personal announcer runs out to join her! 

 

 

Rina: Please join me in celebrating the most wonderful victory of a very special fighter, the Moonblade, AIKO!

 

Simon: This is just one step. Aiko still has to get through the insanity that is the Pentacles Match.

 

Colin: This was just our first match, and already we are off to an insane start. 

 

Kendra: Coming up next, a match with a very strange parallel - when Jassy first showed here at MAWL, around the same time that Aiko did actually, she did so assisting Nero in beating down Brian Storm in a brawl. NOW, Jassy herself is set to take on Brian out in the wild in a Brawl on the Beach. The only way either of them will win is by Knockout. 

 

 

The waves crash along the sandy but rocky shore. Seagulls squawk, the faint hum of the crowd can be heard with notes that are only barely distinguishable from the far away ear of laughing, chatting, and cheering. Onto the beach, still in his t-shirt and ties combination but with a bathing suit version of his wrestling trunks, aviator shades, and an obvious dollop of sunscreen on his nose, strolls Brian Storm.

 

 

From seemingly out of nowhere, a closed beach umbrella launches in the direction of Brian as if a spear from another time. Brian barely ducks it though the hook of the handle catches him slightly. He smirks and tuns around.

 

Brian: I hope you fight better than your boss.

 

 

Jassy lowers her sunglasses. She stands in a onesie suit of pink and black stripes. She smiles.

 

Jassy: Come find out.

 

Brian takes the umbrella and twirls it a bit, then comes charging at Jassy. Jassy flips over Brian's charge and jabs him in the rib. She grabs the umbrella from him and attempts to flip him, but he lands on his feet and charges her with a running spinebuster. Brian grabs her by the legs and slingshots her face first into the sand. She spits the sound out and gives a small smile, grabbing a beach towel off a passerby and using it as a whip to trip Brian.

 

Jassy gets to the back of Brian and uses the towel as a form of crossface, choking him out as she kneels on his back. He tries to fight his way up and she pulls back like reins on a horse, driving Brian back down. Brian tries to pull himself back up, and Jassy once again yanks back. Brian grabs a handful of sand that has shell pieces in Jassy's face. Brian throws punches in her face and picks Jassy up into a World's Strongest Slam!

 

Brian pulls Jassy up into a quick spinebuster. He punches Jassy several times in the face, and Jassy responds by flipping Brian over. Jassy grabs Brian by the tie and drags him to the shoreline, and just into the ocean to hold his face in the crest of the waves. Brian struggles and sputters as salt water splashes him in the eyes and gets in his mouth. She pulls him up for a second and slaps him then brings his head back down. He attempts to loosen the tie to get out of this hold, and after some difficulty gets it off. He grabs a small and feisty mini crab and puts it on Jassy's face. This startles her enough where she gets off him and he deadlifts Jassy into a dominator! 

 

Brian scoops Jassy up and bodyslams her onto the sand. Jassy tries to get back on her feet, and Brian launches her back into the sand with a German Suplex. Jassy struggles to her feet and begins to punch back at Brian. She rolls back into the sand and to her feet - 

 

One superkick!

A second!

And a third! It's All Chaos!!

 

She drags Brian by his shirt collar and gets him to a lifeguard seat post. Jassy ties Brian to the lifeguard post using his tie and stomps him out. She leaves him tied up and pushes his head over the crossbar with her foot, stomping on his head intermittently. Using a higher horizontal rung, she swings like a monkey bar...

 

and then lands on Brian with a Banzai Drop bending him over the crossbar.  Brian tries to get at least back into a sitting position and Jassy hits him with a Yes Kick, a second, and switches feet for the third to hit the Psycho Kicks. 

 

Jassy gets bored of this and unties Brian, draping him over her shoulders and climbing to the top of the lifeguard seat!! Fireman's Carry position....

She

JUMPS
OFF 

THE LIFEGUARD CHAIR

INTO A PARADIGM DROP!

 

Jassy looks with satisfaction at her finished prey. She takes a broken shell piece and slashes it across Brian's face to draw some blood, then snaps a picture of herself posing in celebration over Brian, taking a moment to post it on Insta with the caption "What, like it's hard? 🤣😘 #Jassy1Ner0" 

 

Satisfied, she drags Brian back to the coastline facedown, ties his hands behind his back with his tie, and watches as some of his blood starts being taken by the water before going to get herself an ice cream.

 

 

Colin: We want to take this time to assure everyone that Brian Storm is okay and at press time not eaten by any sharks. 

 

 

Kendra: You can see on Jassy's social that she's not going to let Nero live down that she beat someone one-on-one who had been an absolute plague.

 

 

Simon: And that's only our second match. We have so much more show to go! 

 

Colin: This next match has a certain sort of poeticness to it... WildFire just a few weeks back put Diddy and 50 in the hospital, and now he's gonna have to face them both in an Ambulance Elimination Match.

 

Simon: Can't you guys just be normal?? 

 

Colin and Kendra look at each other for a second-

 

Colin/Kendra: No. 

 

 

Ash: The following contest is an Ambulance Elimination Match!

 

An ambulance pulls up.

 

Simon: Are they going to do an elimination match with only one ambulance?

 

Colin: Guess we'll find out.

 

 

The titantron shows money signs as green and gold fireworks surround the entranceway. 50 Cent walks out strutting and flashing his chain as the crowd pops.

 

 

50 walks with intention down the ring, pointing to his opponents, and intermittently beating his chest as many in the crowd sing along to the theme. 

 

Ash: First! From Houston, Texas, weighing in at 215 pounds, 50 CENT! 

 

Kendra: Being cleared to compete and making the choice to compete are two entirely different things, and I don't know if 50 Cent being in this match is the best call.

 

Simon: Well, worst case the ambulance will bring him right back to getting care!

 

 

The arena lights dim as "The Comeback Kid" P Diddy emerges from the smoky entrance, his fur-lined cape billowing behind him. The MAWL logo flashes on the giant screens, and the crowd goes wild as his theme music, "All About the Benjamins," blasts through the speakers.

 

 

Ash: And his opponent! From New York City, weighing 220 pounds, the Comeback Kid, P. Diddy Sean Combs!

 

Colin: Think we'll see Jay Z pop back in to cause some more problems?

 

Kendra: Stranger things have happened, and Jay Z losing the Gauntlet can't have him in great spirits. 

 

Colin: Hmm its a little too quiet here.

 

Kendra: Uhh what do you mean the crowds really into it, I mean it's so loud here I can't even hear myself think.

 

Simon : Really that's crap!

 

Kendra: What that it's that loud here?

 

Simon: No that you think.

 

Suddenly the 'tron flashes to life and a loud engine roaring is heard. The camera pans out into the parking lot, as a large monstrosity on wheels rolls up. It looks like a tank and a monster truck mated, had a baby, and inherited all the good stuff and none of the bad, and was painted white with the Twisted Sister TS on the hood and large red crosses on each door.

 

 

WildFire pokes his head out of the drivers side "Ok Baby Girl and I are ready for our Ambulance Elimination Match !!"

 

Colin: Holy crap that thing has Flame Throwers !!!

 

Kendra: And Chain Saws ?

 

There is a loud crunching sound as Baby Girl backs over a car in the parking lot behind her.

 

Simon: My CAR !!!!!

 

Kendra : Uhhh whatever it is you did I think you should apologize

 

Colin: Agreed

 

Simon runs for the parking lot.

 

Kendra: See he obviously agrees with me too!!

 

 

The arena waits...the crowd is energetic at first, but begin to quiet down to a gentle hum as nothing happens.

 

Suddenly, the AMBULANCE OF DOOM  comes barreling into the arena, causing an absolute boom of excitement. 

 

WildFire sticks his head out of the window to crowd pops.

 

Ash: AND! From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 225 pounds, WIIIIIILDFIRE!!

 

The bell rings.

 

Colin: WildFire is aware that this isn't Twisted Metal, right? 

 

Kendra: He is, but I think there's a quick and easy solution here.

 

Colin: WILDFIRE USES THE FLAMETHROWER ON 50 CENT AND DIDDY! HE'S JUST LEANING ON THAT HORN AND SETTING THE TWO RAPPERS ABLAZE! 

 

Kendra: And the referee is calling for medical attention! These two are dealing with at the very least second degree burns! 

 

Colin: Here comes the medics! And wait... that means-

 

Kendra: That Diddy and 50 Cent are going to be placed in an ambulance. Correct.

 

WildFire wins!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner, WildFire!

 

Colin: WildFire didn't want to be in this match and it shows. Made it quick and got himself outta there.

 

Kendra: The card continues and we have our next match coming up right now!

 

Simon returns.

 

Simon: I'm back in time for JP Spears to have his Redemption Tour squashed once and for all. 

 

Colin: Normally, I would say you're just being a jackass but given the opponent you may actually be right. 

 

Kendra: And the winner gets his hands on the US Title Shot at International Incident!

 

Hand Clapper starts playing and the crowd starts to clap along.
JP runs out as the tron starts to play his reel and he plays to the crowd.

 

 

Ash: First! From Charlotte, North Carolina, weighing in at 215 pounds, JP Spears!!

 

JP takes a run to both sides of the stage, clapping to either side before starting a jog towards the ring. The crowd claps along.

 

Colin: The crowd has given JP Spears their seal of approval and welcomed him back with open arms.

 

Kendra: There is a version of this world where he could be fighting his former partner for the title. 

 

Simon: That's truly counting your chickens. Do you really think he can beat the monster Rade?

 

Colin: The list of people who have pinned Rade clean is indeed frighteningly small. He's by no means undefeated, but typically in some form of extreme match does he go down or he gets disqualified. 

He slides under the bottom rope and takes off his cut-off T-shirt and throws it into the crowd.

 

The lights go completely out. The arena is filled with sounds of owls hooting and clocks ticking.

 

 

Red smiley faces show in hologram around the arena in time with the bell. Ann "Atomic" Lee steps out to the stage, illuminated only by the red glow in the dark mask that she removes from her face. Ash immediately holds their microphone down as they have learned by now their microphone is turned off. 

 

 

Ann: And the journey for Redemption was one that was in turns noble and quixotic, ultimately futile, as every movement in the direction forward was ultimately hampered by defeat after disheartening defeat; and the one seeking redemption found that his journey elongated in similar size and fashion to his increasingly disheveled facial hair, the man aging with expediency as the world sped around him, building their achievements while he built only resentment and depression. The final blow to the foolish and Sisyphean journey, the final burial of a future sought, comes out of the Black Forest and the darkest recesses and hidden alleys of your mind, weighing 355 pounds and the heft of your crushed and compressed hopes, dreams, and ambitions, he is der Blutsammler.

 

He.

 

Is.

 

The keyboard finally kicks in and the appearances of the red smiley faces intensify rhythmically as a towering figure enters behind her.

 

 

Ann: RADE. 

 

Rade walks down the ramp with Ann leading him, both illuminated mostly by the glow in the dark masks. 

 

Colin: JP Spears keeping himself focused on the task at hand, not showing any fear in his face that we can tell.

 

Simon: You should probably be a little afraid. Not so much you run, but enough that you don't take anything for granted. 

 

Ann stands in front of Rade and stares up as if being baptized from the sky. Rade spits blood upwards and it rains on her. She smiles wickedly to the camera and leaves the ring.

 

The bell rings.

 

Colin: Rade whips JP Spears off the ropes and launches him up, he wants this one to be acadmic and it looks like OH! SPEARS HAS THE PRESENCE OF MIND TO GUIDE HIS BODY OVER AND NECKBREAKER TO RADE! THE BIG MAN TUMBLES! 

 

Kendra: And that's the benefit to having no fear, you are able to maneuver your body and keep awareness of the situation. Spears shows that he knows what he's doing. Spears taking a moment to assess the situation before attacking, off the ropes and basement dropkick to Rade as he starts to rise. 

 

Colin: JP Spears employing a stick and move strategy and it appears to be paying dividends for him, as he doesn't stop running from the dropkick, comes around and Snapmare! Continuing the run, no, slowing himself down on the other side of the ring to catch his breath.

 

Kendra: JP Spears is a scholar-athlete, and we talk about his athletic prowess a bunch but we don't speak much about the scholar side of it all. JP moves himself a bit out of Rade's reach, props himself up on the turnbuckle. Rade trying to get back to his feet JP LAUNCHES HIMSELF WITH A TOP ROPE SPLASH AND KEEPS RADE DOWN! 

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Simon: JP sees Rade starting to rise and a splash! RADE LAUNCHES SPEARS OFF HIM! JP HAD A GOOD RUN BUT THAT'S LOOKING TO BE OVER NOW. 

 

Colin: Rade back to his feet, JP trying to get to his feet across the ring and takes Rade's giant boot to his face. JP trying to use this time to roll under the leg gap between Rade.

 

Simon: You tried so hard to make that sound less weird and failed miserably at that, good job.

 

Kendra: JP back around to the back and gets him with a dropkick! Rade stutters forward, JP trying to get a perpendicular run on him and RADE SPINS AROUND WITH A HUGE PUNCH! JP tumbles backwards. JP catching back into a run and going for the Hit Stick NO RADE POLISH HAMMER TO THE BACK! JP crumples! 

 

Simon: Tried to tell you guys.

 

Colin: Walking on the back of JP and just putting all the pressure on, STOMP to the back of JP Spears and DEADLIFT REVERSE CHOKESLAM! This is likely the end.

 

1!

2!

3!

4!

5!

NO! JP is up!

 

Simon: You're only delaying the inevitable here. Rade throwing him off the ropes and it looks like the time is coming OH MY JP DUCKS THE HAND COMES BACK AROUND AND HIT STICK!

 

Kendra: You were saying, Simon?

 

1!

2!

Rade is up!

 

Simon: I stand by my initial stance. 

 

Colin: JP going for a punch combo and Rade barely registering. JP giving punches to Rade and he just pushes JP back and boots him again. Rade standing on the head of JP and Andra Jones beginning the count-

 

 

Andra: 1! 2! 3! 4!

 

Kendra: Rade lets go and stomps JP in the head! 

 

Colin: Ripcord by Rade into a flapjack! 

 

Simon: Goes for an Elevated Vise Grip on JP!! Shaking him like he's a piggy bank holding onto the last coins!! JP punching the inner arm of Rade trying to get loose, Rade struggling to hold on and tosses JP again! 

 

Kendra: JP loading up for the Hit Stick, coming around and Rade gets him by the neck and tosses him up WHOA JP SPEARS COMES BACK DOWN FOR THE ALL AMERICAN LEG BULLDOG!!

 

1!

2!

3!

4!

 

Colin: Unbelievable! The big man may be down!

 

5!

6!

7!

 

Kendra: This has been a very propulsive match, and it looks to wrap here.

 

8!

9!

10!

 

Kendra: JP HAS DONE IT!!!

 

JP Spears wins!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner, J! P! SPEARS!

 

Colin: TRULY UNBELIEVABLE TURN OF EVENTS AND JP SPEARS WITH THE WIN!

 

Andra shakes JP's hand then raises it in victory. 

 

Kendra: JP Spears will be at International Incident!

 

Colin: So, Simon, what exactly was it that you were saying? 

 

Simon: Let's just... keep it moving...

 

Colin: Agreed. And our next match is a Three Stages of Death!

 

 

Ash: The following contest is a Three Stages of Death Match! The match ends when one wrestler has completed two of the three elements of this match, starting with a Casket Match, continuing into a Last Ride Match, and if necessary finishing with a Buried Alive Match! 

 

 

As Alter Bridge "White Knuckles" plays over the PA system, James holds back until the song kicks in and then makes his way out from behind the curtain. As he moves into the sight of the fans, he's met with boos but this just brings a smile to his face. The boos continue to rain down towards James but it doesn't phase him as he makes his way down the ramp. James rolls into the ring and then stands in the corner as he awaits his opponent's entrance.

 

 

Ash: First, from New York City, New York, weighing in at 190 pounds, the most interesting man in the world, JAMES D!

 

 

 The stadium went pitch black before an explosion burst from the entrance. The titantron showed the Destroyer - Black Hand video as the soundtrack Revelation - L'arc en Ciel ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--W-hLJdHIE ) filled the arena.
Destroyer walks among the infernal fire at a quite fast pace directly to the ring. 

 

 

He climbed the rope and stepped over the top one, entering the ring in a dominant manner, stalking his opponent eagerly.

 

Ash: And his opponent! THE DARK HAND, THE DESTROYER!!

 

The bell rings. The coffin is rolled out to the ring.

 

Simon: And the first step is to get your opponent into that box! 

 

Colin: Daniel...er, the Destroyer...just going ABSOLUTELY crazy on James D! Picking him up and CHOKESLAM! ANOTHER CHOKESLAM! AND A CHOKE TOSS! He has been sent out of the ring! I have no idea how James D plans to get out of this one.

 

Kendra: Should be an...interesting...thing to see what he does next.

 

Colin: BOOO. 

 

Simon: James D going under the ring and I think this is the only way to go... you're not going to stop a monster with headlocks and horse grenades. 

 

Kendra: James D pulls out a Crowbar! Back onto the apron, James D jumps in on the top rope and tomahawk chops James D with the crowbar! Destroyer stumbles a bit but keeps his footing. James takes the crowbar to the chest of Destroyer! And again! Destroyer creaks his neck and grabs James by the throat!! CHOKESLAM! ANOTHER CHOKESLAM! HE'S JUST STOMPING HIM OUT!

 

Colin: James D still has a hold of that crowbar, takes Destroyer off by the legs! Off his feet for the first time! And James continuing to drive that crowbar into the chest of the Destroyer!

 

Simon: There's still a human being underneath that mask! He may not be feeling pain right now, but his muscles sure are! 

 

Kendra: James continuing up the body, trying to keep Dark Hand at bay with crowbar smashes as he goes, but it looks like his plan is to get to that mask! YES! HE IS TRYING TO CROWBAR THE MASK OFF OF DANIEL'S FACE!

 

Simon: He's no dummy! He knows the only shot he has of winning this match is against Daniel, not The Destroyer! 

 

Colin: DARK HAND LIFTS JAMES UP AND BEGINS SMASHING HIM WITH HIS FOREHEAD! THIS ISN'T A WRESTLING MATCH, IT'S A GODDAMN DEATH SENTENCE FOR THESE TWO! AND A GORILLA PRESS BY DARK HAND! HE'S JUST STOMPING JAMES OUT! 

 

Kendra: This is one of those moments in a match when you have to ask yourself how worth it it is really to continue along this path. Dark Hand's mask, is it really worth going through all this just to have the possibility of the taste of power?

 

Colin: A month or so back I would have said yes probably but it seems like Daniel accepting and embracing the power of the Dark Hand this time has become a whole other ball game, one that James may not have been prepared to play. 

 

Simon: Dark Hand's got James up by the feet and he's just absolutely ravaging him! The best way I can describe it is Hulk to Loki at the end of The Avengers! 

 

Kendra: Dark Hand keeping to James's feet swings him back and propels him forward out of the ring! James D is in serious trouble!

 

Colin: James is struggling to get to his feet! Dark Hand to the outside and he has one thing in mind, destruction! Absolutely decimating James with gut stomps! He scoops James up AND HE POWERBOMBS HIM THROUGH THE LID OF THE COFFIN!! JAMES IS IN THE COFFIN! 

 

Simon: DARK HAND ROARS IN VICTORY! HE IS CLAIMING THE FIRST FALL...wait, why is there no bell?

 

A tense hush comes through the arena, as everyone awaits a bell or something to happen.

 

Andra holds her earpiece for a second and looks perplexed before sighing.

 

Andra steps out of the ring and speaks with Ash. Neither of them look thrilled but nod at each other.

 

Ash: The official ruling is that the lid of the coffin is not fully closed and therefore the first stage has not been achieved! No point is as of now awarded and this match must continue!

 

The crowd boos.

 

Kendra: I guess I technically understand the ruling, but how do we proceed here? Are they going to wheel out another coffin or is this going to be like an Ecco the Dolphin situation where we're in an unending loop?

 

Simon: One thing's for sure, THAT'S not going to help!! Dark Hand just pounding down on James and it's not making things any easier!

 

Colin: Dark Hand has one speed and that speed is Destroy, and though in most cases that's effective here it cost him!

 

Kendra: He didn't peel the banana before eating it. 

 

Colin: He's reaching in and strangling James D, but that's not going to necessarily solve his issues either. He definitely needs a new plan of attack if he's going to figure a way out of this situation. This is going to require more brains than brawn. Usually Daniel needs Dark Hand, but this time I think Dark Hand may actually need Daniel! 

 

Simon: If he's even interested in winning. He might be just interested in destroying. 

 

Kendra: In setting this match, James invoked trial by combat, which means ownership of the mask can indeed change, so if whatever spirit in there wants the power of Daniel which clearly it did coming out of a river to find him, it's going to have to be interested in winning. I'm with Colin. Dark Hand needs to disappear for a minute to achieve his goals. 

 

Simon: I think he might be agreeing with you, and DANIEL PULLS OFF THE MASK!

 

 

Colin: Daniel surveying the situation and looking under the apron... ohhh now he feels the impact of the crowbar to the ribs. Daniel stumbles.

 

Simon: Told you - still human!

 

Kendra: JAMES TAKES THIS OPPORTUNITY TO GET OUT OF THE COFFIN! JAMES HAS A CHAIR - OHH!!! SLAMS IT UPSIDE DANIEL'S HEAD!!! AND AGAIN!!! JAMES DRAGGING DANIEL AND THE CHAIR OVER TO THE COFFIN, LID STILL OPEN, JAMES D DROPS DANIEL IN! CLOSING THE LID- HE TAKES THE CHAIR AND BENDS IT TO FIT THE HOLE IN THE COFFIN! 

 

Simon: A whole person got put in there! That's not going to be enough!

 

Colin: James agreeing with you, oh, he's going for a table!!! What-what's the plan here?

 

Kendra: Looks like he's taking the table, reaching into the hole of the coffin and ripping out some lining...oh see this is smart. Sliding the table through the lining and THAT will cover the hole!

 

Ding ding ding!

 

Ash: James D has been awarded the first fall!

 

The hearse pulls up onto the stage.

 

Simon: Your carriage awaits.

 

Kendra: All James has to do now is put Daniel in the hearse and he will have won the Trial By Combat, and the Mask! 

 

Colin: I think he's growing a little impatient, he just opened the lid of the coffin! Why would you do that?

 

Simon: You called it, he is reaching for the mask! He's trying to pull it out of Daniel's hand!! DANIEL GRABS HIS ARM! DANIEL IS UP!

 

Kendra: You done messed up A-A-Ron. 

 

Colin: Daniel was contained! He wasn't going to be able to reach the mask in the coffin but now-

 

 

Colin: I would run if I were James D. 

 

Kendra: I would run if I were James D's next of kin, next of next of kin, schoolmarm, accountant... 

 

Simon: DANIEL GRABS THE OTHER ARM AND LIFTS JAMES UP BY THE ARMS! HE COULD RIP THOSE POOR THINGS RIGHT OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS! JAMES STILL HASN'T SIGNED MY COPY OF INTERESTING! 

 

Colin: HIGH ANGLE CRUCIFIX POWERBOMB!! 

 

Kendra: Daniel has the coffin in hand... no Daniel, you need to grab the person to put in the coffin. 

 

Colin: Somehow I don't think that's his plan.

 

Simon: What do you mean OH MY GOD HE'S LIFTING THE COFFIN UP LIKE IT'S A STEEL CHAIR...JAMES STAY DOWN...JAMES STAY DOWN... JAMES IS UP DANIEL JUST SHATTERED THAT COFFIN OVER THE HEAD OF JAMES D!

 

Colin: Nowhere in the rulebooks for Last Ride does it state that you have to have the person in a coffin to enter the hearse, you just need to enter the hearse.

 

Simon: Daniel gets James up by the neck! He's walking and shaking James!!! 

 

Kendra: James starting to come to...he's punching at the hands of the Destroyer... trying to break free of his grasp... kicking and desperately trying to get the hold off him!

 

Simon: Bet he wishes he still had that crowbar. 

 

Colin: I bet he's wishing a lot of things right now, not least of which is that he never agreed to this in the first place. WAIT - WE'RE GOING FULL KING KONG HERE! DANIEL IS CLIMBING UP THE TITANTRON WITH JAMES IN TOW! WHAT IS THINKING?? 

 

Kendra: OHMYGODFINALJUDGMENTTHROUGHTHEROOFOFTHEHEARSE!!

 

Simon: That hearse is now a convertible!! 

 

"This is Awesome!" chants kick in.

 

Colin: The fans are LOVING this!! Daniel into the driver's seat of the Hearse!! He starts taking off and that's the second fall to Daniel! 

 

Ding ding ding!

 

Ash: The second fall has been awarded to Daniel! This match must now be decided through the third and final stage, Buried Alive! 

 

Kendra: James got put through a metal roof and had a coffin smashed over him so I think this one may be academic at this point.

 

Colin: They are now officially heading to the burial site, which is somewhere off grounds apparently. 

 

Simon: And we have a cam inside our hearse to see what is happening, and James D is starting to stir, he's trying to be quiet and not arouse suspicion...but that fabric in the back is not silent by nature! I think Daniel is aware and HE MAKES A QUICK SWERVE TO SLAM JAMES D ACROSS THE BACK OF THE HEARSE! 

 

Kendra: This isn't some Hollywood Action lot, these two are on a legitimate roadway and this could be an issue in pulling moves like that. If I were James D, I'd lay a lot lower than this and wait until they're at the burial site to do something. 

 

The hearse pulls off the road towards an open plot of land that looks as if it had been set aside.

 

Colin: Oh thank heavens, it looks like they are at the burial site, now all James has to wait for him to do is to stop-wait, no, they're passing the burial site? I'm a little confused as to DANIEL IS PUTTING THE CAR IN REVERSE! HE STEPS ON THE GAS! THEY ARE CAREENING TOWARDS THE BURIAL SITE BACKWARDS! DANIEL JUMPS OUT OF THE CAR! 

 

Kendra: Did he just do what I think...yep! He's dropping the Hearse into the Hole, Backside Down. 

 

Ding ding ding!

 

Ash: Daniel has been awarded the third and final fall! Here is your winner, DANIEL the DESTROYYYYYER!

 

 

Colin: The Mask Stays With Daniel!! What a wild ride we have just been put through, and the card isn't even half over!

 

Kendra: One of our next competitors had THIS to say about the Pentacles Match - 

 

 

The screen fades in from black grainy and monochrome. A single overhead light swings gently, casting a slow, pendulum-like shadow over a small, decrepit workshop. Sawdust hangs in the air like fog. The faint sound of a wood saw scraping through timber rises as Gozu comes into view.

 

 

He’s in the middle of cutting thick planks, his gloved hands deliberate, unhurried. A heavy mallet and rusted nails sit nearby. Next to him, a half-built casket rests atop two concrete blocks. Each motion he makes is like a priest handling relics, measured, reverent.

 

Gozu: "Every match is a passage. Every fight, a prayer."

 

He lifts a plank and sets it into place with a solid clack. He kneels beside the casket frame and begins hammering nails in, each strike echoing in the quiet like a tolling bell.

 

Gozu: "But the Pentacles Match… this is no mere spectacle. This is judgment made manifest. One by one, they’ll be offered. Laid down in pine and silence. And We… We will be the one to see them off."

 

He pauses to press a hand gently against the side of the casket, as if testing it… or blessing it. He then continues, speaking softly.

 

Gozu: "In the end, every struggle goes the same way... in silence. In stillness. In the dark."

 

He picks up a plane and begins smoothing the edge of the lid. Each stroke is measured, reverent, like a monk preparing a shrine.

 

Gozu: "The world calls it a match. A show. But that’s not what this is. No, this is a rite. A cleansing. A procession of final breaths and quiet goodbyes."

 

He begins staining the wood, the dark varnish bleeding into the grain like old blood. His motions are methodical, reverent.

 

Gozu: "One by one, they will fall. And the box will wait. Patient. Hungry. It doesn’t matter who. It only matters when."

 

He begins placing hinges on the lid, slowly tightening the screws. Soon he attaches the lid to the casket. He opens it fully and then walks to a nearby chest. Opening it and reaching in he retrieves a length of black cloth and returns to the casket. The camera slowly zooms as Gozu places a black velvet cloth inside the casket, smoothing it out like funeral linens.

 

Gozu: "You don’t fight to survive this. You submit to it. The procession will continue, casket after casket, until the final one is hauled away… and the rites are fulfilled."

 

He stands tall beside the finished casket, fingers gently resting on the lid as if it were a relic on display. He speaks again, the intensity rising in his voice with every syllable.

 

Gozu: "We do not fear the grave. We are its heralds. We speak its sermon. We write gospel in gore… and baptize in agony. In this house of suffering all are welcome, and all will pass."

 

Gozu places a hand on the casket lid as the camera moves closer. As it does, dark shapes against the far wall come into focus, four more nearly identical caskets stand against the wall.

 

Gozu: "This match? It is absolution. Purity found in the bosom of adversity. Here, We will make you believe too."

 

Gozu stares directly into the camera as it approaches, his face unreadable but calm. Without warning he shouts out.

 

Gozu: "Your Patron Saint of Pain commands it!"

 

Gozu slams the casket lid shut with a deafening bang, and the scene goes black.

 

 

Simon: The Patron Saint of Pain looking to continue his domination reign! 

 

 

Colin: Gozu just last week in the Richmond Special reminded us that he's not just here to make us laugh, he's here to make people hurt. Seeing that old school Gozu ratchets up the fear factor this time around.

 

 

Kendra: But four of the five people he's fighting have every desire to obtain revenge on him, so this may be a rare case where the odds are not in his favor.

 

Colin: Excellent point Kendra. We'll have to see who's going to be buried and who's going to International Incident with a shot at the Asylum Title.  Ash?

 

 

Ash: The following is a Pentacles Match! Five coffins are being wheeled to the ring. Eliminations occur when an opponent is placed in a coffin and successfully wheeled out of the main arena. Opponents cannot be eliminated during transport of another opponent and the opportunity to eliminate will resume once the officials have returned to ringside. The last one to remain unwheeled will be the winner, and will go on to face the Asylum Champion at International Incident!

 

 

Lightning flashes around the arena, and a spotlight hits the top, where Thor stands with his hammer.

 

Simon: (singing along) AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAH AH! ... Why is no one singing?

 

Colin: Thor is not particularly well loved in MAWL.

 

 

Ash: First! From Belize, weighing in at 245 pounds, The King of Kings, THOR!

 

Thor ziplines down the ring to boos.

 

 

Goldberg storms onto the entrance way and growls on the stage, calling up fireworks on either side of him with a roar. 

 

 

Ash: Next! From Oklahoma, weighing in at 284 pounds, GOOOOLD! BERG!

 

Goldberg shoots each arm up separately, with a firework exploding under it, then storms down the ramp. 

 

Colin: This man is not the sharpest tool in the shed by any means...not so much that he's dumb but that he's angry and impetuous and has no regard for his own physical safety, and at the end of the day the result is the same.

 

Kendra: Also he's been blunted from all the head injuries. He really needs to consider how much time he has left as far as in ring competition.

 

The lights in the arena go black as the sound of wind whipping through can be faintly heard.  Abruptly a guitar chord kicks from the opening of Archenemy - Handshake with Hell in as dim red light fills every corner of the the arena. 

 

 

Kendra: Big Man Approaching.

 

Chants of "Gozu's gonna kill you" begin to fill the arena.

 

Thick fog billows out from the entryway as the music swell, fire erupting at the edges of the stage.  Gozu strides out through the fog, his figure silhouetted by lighting from behind him.  

 

 

Ash: Next! Weighing 320 pounds, the PATRON SAINT OF PAIN, GOZU!!

 

Gozu takes his time stalking toward the ring one pace at a time, and upon reaching the ring walks up the steps and up onto the apron.  Fog seeping out from under the ring as he reaches it.  Gozu push down the top rope and steps over it to enter and takes a few measured paces before sprinting to the far ring corner.

 

Kendra: A monster of many talents, and comes complete with over 50 ways to destroy anyone. This is chaos unburdened.

 

Colin: I have to agree with you there. Gozu is that most dangerous combination of absolute destruction and incredible intelligence that you never want to find yourself staring across in a ring.

Gozu grabs the turnbuckle as the music reaches a fever pitch and slams his head down into the turnbuckle cover several times.  Each impact sending a pillar of pyro firing out of the ring posts.  Gozu turns and drops into a crouching position in the same corner as the music fades out and the venue lights come back up - 

 

-for a moment before they explode and strobe to the heavy riff of Soundgarden’s Outshined. 

 

 

The crowd is on their feet in support of the Kid they identify with. The Hometown Hero and the Kross town Rival. Twisted Kid Kross.

 

 

Ash: Ladies and gentlemen, from the depths of despair and depravity of Sunnyvale Trailer Park, in Sunnyvale Nova Scotia Canada, weighing in at 230 pounds, your hometown hero and their cross town rival, the winner of the Honeycomb Match, Twisted Kiiiiiddddd Kross!!  

 

Kid Kross saunters down to the ring with his flashy blue and green vest with a facial depiction of “the green bastard”, a local Sunnyvale wrestler. He has his aviators on carrying a hockey stick over his shoulder. His long hair flowing behind him. Kid Kross kneels down In the ring with his arms out to the side as the music hits the chorus “ Show me the power child I’d like to say, that I’m down on my knees today”. He pops back up when the lyrics say “it gives the butterflies, gives me away until I’m up on my feet again”. He climbs to the second rope and raises his stick in unison with “OUTSHINED, OUTSHINED, OUTSHINED, OUTSHINED!”

 

Ash: Kid Kross! the one we’ve all been waiting for! 

 

Kid Kross stares intently at the crowd. Ready to prove himself to his fans and the rest of the wrestling world. 

 

 

Ragnarrrr enters the arena driving a fancy vintage car Ragnarrrr is wearing a fancy cowboy leather attire decorated with tassels. On Ragnarrrr's side walks a very attractive diva Lights start to flicker all across the arena as Ragnarrrr gets in the ring. 

 

 

Ash: And! From 9ja, weighing in at 176 pounds, RAGNARRR!

 

Ragnarrr pounds his chest as he walks down to boos.

 

Simon: I guess these people just don't like big muscley people. 

 

Colin: ...Yeah, I guess not?

 

Kendra: So these are all the people who were pre-scheduled, and we have just one left...

 

The big screen cuts to backstage where Rina, a special correspondent announcer for the Japanese and Korean broadcast group is standing. Her infectious smile sparkles.

 

 

The cute fashionista Rina turns, and begins to walk to a small crowd in the background, seeming to be huddled around an unknown wrestler. As she approaches, the crowd begins to dissipate, until we finally see a female wrestler sitting and facing away from the camera. The figure begins to stand and slowly turn. For a brief moment, silence washes over the crowd.

 

 

"NEON BLADE" by MoonDeity hits, and Aiko now faces the camera.

 

 

A cool aura and swagger emanating from her as she removes her designer glasses, and walks with zeal, and boldness towards the gorilla position and out through the entrance way stage area.

 

The crowd erupts into cheers of admiration, and they bounce along with Aiko as she struts to the rhythmic oriental beat. Aiko dressed in her signature black sports top with gold accent, and kimono inspired leggings. On the stage she jumps, and gives a quick kick downward, and a high kick once she lands. She gives a display of 3 more flash kicks, an elbow strike, then spins around, and goes onto one knee, giving a Kata prayer like pose. The screen behind her shows beautiful plumes from peach blossom trees, and open japanese umbrellas spinning. Aiko's name is displayed with kanji symbols, and a rising sun logo positioned behind it all.

 

Rina: AIIIIKO!

 

As the crowd continue to cheer Aiko skips down the ramp then into a rhythmic strut playing to the crowd, and arms rolling with dance movements. She stands at the bottom of the steps, and bows. Then quickly makes her way into the ring, and makes exaggerated poses and moves til her music stops.

 

The bell rings.

 

The six of them circle each other. There is a tension in the air too thick to make an effective soup.

 

Kendra: This is a pretty Lord of the Rings set up for this match.

 

Simon: Right down to the two hobbits.

 

Colin: If you're Aiko and Kid Kross in this, you really have to be approaching this strategically. Do you focus on each other and let the bigger folk sort each other out? Do you act as 1 bigger person and work together? Or do you just go balls to the wall? 

 

Kendra: I'll tell you this - no one wants to be the first to strike. The first to move is the first to be open. 

 

Simon: That's a good way not to lose but it's not a great way to win. And it seems like we're getting some movement! Ah, see this is what I figured would happen - Goldberg, Thor, Kross, and Ragnarrr are all approaching Gozu together! Thor and Ragnarrr are putting their rivalry aside for the time being to make this work! 

 

Colin: Aiko is smart to keep her nose clean in this moment. No one in this tussle is coming out unharmed.

 

Kendra: She doesn't have any personal truck with Gozu, and she already put someone through a table, so conserving her energy is the right call.

 

Simon: And the mass descends!! Gozu fending off punches from all four sides of him! Gozu headbutts Kross from behind him! Gozu trying to push Goldberg away with a kick, Thor and Ragnarrr hit Gozu with a solid double clothesline!! Kross being away means he's going for the lid and we have a coffin open! Ragnarrr and Thor each get an arm of Gozu and they're trying to lift him up - HE CLAPS THEM TOGETHER! WHOA! GOLDBERG SPEARS GOZU INTO THE OPEN CASKET!!! WE MAY HAVE AN EARLY GO OF THIS! 

 

Kendra: Goldberg's attempting to close the lid, Gozu barely struggles to keep it open with one hand. Oh, here come Ragnarrr and Thor on either side of Goldberg! It's a team project! Gozu uses both hands to keep it open! HERE COMES KROSS! KROSS TAKING A RUN ACROSS THE RING AND SPRINGBOARDS HIMSELF ONTO THE LID TO CLOSE IT! 

 

Colin: Is this...NO! GOZU FORCES THE LID OPEN AND KROSS GOES FLYING AWAY FROM THE RING!! Gozu isn't going down easy! Well, it looks like things have broken down between Thor and Ragnarrr surprising absolutely no one, and they're throwing hammer punches at each other. What a brutal back and forth, switching now from hammers to hooks to the face, here comes Goldberg and SPEAR TO THOR! THOR TUMBLES INTO A COFFIN! 

 

Simon: Goldberg could close the lid and send Thor home right now! Goldberg pushing the lid-Thor pushes the lid open! He and Thor going through a battle of blows! 

 

Colin: Kross running back to the ring and springing off the coffin lid, clearing the ropes and Kross Over to Gozu! 

 

Kendra: Kross's jump pushes the lid back on Thor and into the waiting arms of Goldberg!! GOLDBERG WITH A JACKHAMMER INTO THE COFFIN!!

 

Simon: He's gonna be feeling Thor after that!

 

Colin: No. Just no.

 

Kendra: Aiko finally getting into this match, chop block to Ragnarrr! Takes him to one knee and she unloads a series of high kicks to the head!

 

Colin: Goldberg still trying to get the coffin lid shut, he lifts it in frustration, he starts to rise and GOLDBERG BRAINS HIM WITH THE COFFIN LID! LID SHUT TIGHT, AND THAT'S GOOD NIGHT!

 

Thor is eliminated by Goldberg!

 

Andra begins to wheel Thor back. 

 

Simon: So until Andra gets back, no one else can be eliminated?

 

Kendra: Pretty much. It's a free-for-all right now. 

 

Simon: Damn.

 

Colin: Goldberg turns around and into a chair by Gozu! Gozu puts the chair around Goldberg's neck!! SKY HIGH CHOKESLAM!!

 

Kendra: Aiko and Kid Kross deciding to work together against Ragnarrr now, both laying in with kick combos from either side of him! Good way to wear him down. Standing dropkick by Kross! Roundhouse by Aiko! Aiko coming off the ropes, Kross gets Ragnarrr in a headlock and they hit a combo DDT/Bulldog. That's solid teamwork.

 

Colin: Ragnarrr struggling to his feet right now, Aiko going for a running splash and RAGNARRR DUCKS! Aiko into Kross! Ragnarrr picks up Kross and drives him into the mat with a Blue Thunder Bomb! And a Belly to Belly to Aiko!

 

Simon: Ragnarrr is on a RRRAMPAGE! Belly to Belly to Goldberg. Fisherman DDT to Gozu. Coming off the ropes and running Fisherman DDT to Aiko! And going for a clothesline to Kross KROSS DUCKS GETS HIM UP AND A SAMOAN DROP! Surely he has to be feeling that in his bones! 

 

Colin: Kross should probably turn around and Gozu waiting for him with a ripcord lariat! Aiko to her feet and she runs right into a pop up powerbomb! 

 

Kendra: Reiterating now that Kross and Aiko's best plan is to work together as one, this throw yourself at the problem is probably not the best approach when the problem is twice your size. 

 

Colin: Ragnarrr gets the Ragnarrrlock on Goldberg, while they're waiting for Andra to return weakening your opponent is not a bad thing by any means. 

 

Simon: Gozu charging and SHINING WIZARD TO KID KROSS! THAT WASN'T THE LEAST BIT EXPECTED! Kross spirals back and over the apron! 

 

Colin: It's not a Rumble, but getting someone to the outside is a good idea, get them closer to the coffins and looks like Kid Kross has his branded hockey stick ready to play!! Back into the ring and right to the face of Gozu!

 

Simon: High Sticking! 

 

Andra returns to the ring. 

 

Kendra: Andra is back! Eliminations can resume!

 

Simon: We got Kross goin' full Gretzky eh over on Gozu there, we got Ragnarrr and Goldberg trading off headbutts, once again Aiko just looking for where she fits in this.

 

Kendra: Not wise for Goldberg to be trading headbutts. 

 

Colin: Yeah, he's gonna be seeing stars tomorrow. But he doesn't stop bringing the fight, and he's loading up... SPEAR TO RAG-NO!! RAGNARRR CATCHES THE SPEAR INTO A RAGNARRR BOMB!

 

Simon: Goldberg almost turned him into Ragu! 

 

Kendra: Now you're just making me hungry. 

 

Simon: Ragnarrr looking to open a coffin now, gets to a lid and begins to open it! This could be it for Goldberg and Ragnarrr gets Goldberg up into a Ragnarrr Bomb again....Over to the edge....GOLDBERG WITH A HURACANRANA!!! WHAT???

 

Colin: Ragnarrr hits the lip of the lid of the coffin and the coffin closes before Ragnarrr's body can enter. Goldberg I think is in just as much shock that he did that as anyone else in this arena. Definitely seems to have taken a little bit out of him though. Aiko sees her opening and SHE HITS GOLDBERG WITH A SPEAR!!! What kind of Freaky Friday shenanigans is going on here? 

 

Kendra: Kross winds up the stick and into Gozu's ribcage! Kross takes the opportunity to set Gozu up for a piledriver...he's having a bit of struggle getting him up...here comes Aiko and Aiko pulling at the legs, between the two of them, a piledriver to Gozu! Aiko pulls open the coffin, Kid Kross starting to roll Gozu into the coffin, Goldberg and Ragnarrr taking a break from each other to help Gozu into the coffin and it looks like they may get it WAIT GOZU PUSHES THE COFFIN AWAY AND SPILLS TO THE GROUND! 

 

Simon: And there's the intelligence we're talking about. The other four turning their attention back to each other! Kross hits Goldberg with the hockey stick right in the gut!! Gets Goldberg up and Powerbomb! Kross coming off the rope, Goldberg going for the clothesline, Kross ducks, coming to the ropes, Springboard around and Kross Over!!

 

Colin: Aiko off the back of Goldberg and a front dropkick to Ragnarrr! Ragnarrr stumbling backwards, Aiko and Kross with a double dropkick and Ragnarrr stumbles out! GOLDBERG COMING FOR THE SPEAR - AIKO AND KROSS SPLIT THE RED SEA! GOLDBERG TO THE OUTSIDE!

 

Kendra: Gozu to his feet, Goldberg and Ragnarrr struggling to theirs, Gozu opens the coffin and...is he doing Eeny Meeny Miney Mo to his opponents? Gozu shrugs and gets Goldberg up in the Full Nelson! VARIATION ON THE DEVIL'S DESCENT INTO THE COFFIN! SLAMS THE LID SHUT! 

 

Goldberg is eliminated by Gozu!

 

Andra starts to wheel Goldberg back.

 

Simon: Back into the lawless wasteland!! How exciting!! Kross and Aiko starting to fight each other now! Kross gets her up in a Samoan Drop! Getting her up by the Gut...up to the Shoulder....We couuuuuld see- KROSS TOWN FROWN!

 

Kendra: That does not bode well for Aiko. Outside Gozu takes Ragnarrr by the back of the throat and Reverse Chokeslam!! Gozu picks up the stairs and slams it into the back of Ragnarrr!!! Gozu drops the steps on Ragnarrr! 

 

Colin: And now he drops Ragnarrr on the steps! Gozu taking the steps into the ring.....what....what does he have planned? 

 

Kendra: PURGATORY PLUNGE WITH ADDED STEPS!!!

 

Colin: Ragnarrr is looking ROUGH. That looks like it really did some damage.

 

Simon: Until Andra gets back, Ragnarrr has no escape from this match!

 

Kendra: Kid Kross going to pick Aiko up into a piledriver and Aiko reverses into a back body drop!! Aiko taking a run and a Moonsault Leg Drop! Aiko gets the momentum back on her side! Coming off the ropes again and launches herself outside to a Cross Body Splash to Gozu!! 

 

Simon: Ragnarrr still struggling to get to his feet, Gozu getting back to his...really, everyone is sprawled at this point. The first one to stir is going to have a huge advantage. And who will it be?

 

There are dueling chants of "AIKO! AIKO!" and "Kid Kross! Kid Kross!" with a spattering of "Gozu's gonna kill you."

 

Colin: And everyone is trying to get up, Kid Kross is the first to do it...running off the ropes and going for the springboard into the Kross Over and GOZU CATCHES HIM! SKY HIGH CHOKESLAM! And Aiko follows it up with a Belly to Back Suplex! 

 

Simon: We're down to 4 in this match, two of whom are pretty laid out. 

 

Andra returns to ringside.

 

Kendra: Andra is back and not a moment too soon! Gozu has Ragnarrr and is leading him to a coffin! WAIT - Aiko ALSO has Kid Kross and is leading HIM to a coffin! It's a race to get them in. Aiko's just a little bit faster, she gets Kross in first! Gozu has Ragnarrrr in but AIKO CLOSES THE LID AND KID KROSS IS KROSSED OUT!

 

Kid Kross is eliminated by Aiko!

 

Andra wheels Kid Kross to the back.

 

Colin: For all intents and purposes it's down to Aiko and Gozu! Aiko takes a run at Gozu and single leg dropkick! Aiko now with a series of kicks, alternating side and front, Gozu drills her down with a clothesline! Gozu picks her up and spins her around into a Cobra Clutch! COBRA CLUTCH BULLDOG! Ragnarrr starting to move from the coffin and Gozu slams the lid back down. 

 

Kendra: Aiko rolls back, runs in with a basement dropkick to cut Gozu down at the knees! Flurry of roundhouse kicks to the side of Gozu's head and a spinning back fist to the other side! Ragnarrr shaking up the coffin again and starting to move the lid, Aiko jumps on the lid to shut it and MOONBLADE KICK TO GOZU! Aiko isn't going to be able to do much until Andra gets back except keep the pressure on Gozu. 

 

Simon: Gozu struggling to his feet a bit now, looking a little punch drunk, Ragnarrr starting to stir and push the lid of the coffin open and Gozu leans on the coffin closing the lid to stabilize himself and catch his breath. Aiko also taking this moment to breathe a little bit, seems necessary in an intense match like this. 

 

Kendra: Gozu going underneath the apron, looking to dig something out....A chair! Gozu's weapon of choice and preferred pet. 

 

Simon: Gozu may not appreciate it too much now, Aiko with a running rocket kick slamming the chair into Gozu's face!

 

Colin: Gozu shakes it off and Pop Up Powerbomb to Aiko on top of the coffin, just as Ragnarrr started to lift it again!! Aiko rolls back to the edge of the coffin as the lid starts to rise-

 

Andra returns to ringside.

 

Colin: Aiko with a cartwheel handstand start, shutting the lid again and jumping off to a huracanrana on Gozu!! Ragnarrr is boxed!

 

Ragnarrr is eliminated by Aiko!

 

Andra sighs and begins to wheel the coffin back.

 

Kendra: We are down to the final two and it's Gozu and Aiko!

 

Simon: Aiko started her day with wood and now she may well end it with wood. 

 

Colin: Dude. Phrasing.

 

Kendra: Gozu and Aiko have one coffin left, and it's on the other side of the ring. Aiko ducks a clothesline by Gozu and catches him with a roundhouse to the temple. Gozu gets her on the landing with a Kesagiri Chop into a Bionic Elbow. Gozu tosses Aiko back in the ring! 

 

Simon: It provides the most peril and opportunity, but it's also the quickest way to the other side. 

 

 Colin: Gozu gets another chair and follows her into the ring, but she's already up and a front dropkick plants that chair right into Gozu again! Aiko might well achieve what few have been able to do and almost no one has accomplished in the past month or so, and that's beat Gozu clean. Gozu is stumbling! 

 

Kendra: At this point the smartest thing to do is quick kicks, stick and move but stay close, if you can inflict as much damage as possible before Andra gets back you can take it. Feint kick into an elbow by Aiko! Aiko throws Gozu off the ropes, coming back around, Gozu ducks and gets control himself, goes for a clothesline BUT AIKO DUCKS AND RUNS PERPENDICULAR TO HIM AND CRESCENT CLEAVER MEETS MOONBLADE KICK!!! RIGHT OUT OF A SAMURAI ANIME!!! They are both down! 

 

Simon: Whoever wins this has most definitely earned it. This has been absolute mayhem of a match and I know I am loving every minute of it. It really is who can stir first. 

 

Both Aiko and Gozu show signs of life but they are minimal at best. Dueling chants of "AIKO AIKO" and "Gozu's gonna kill you" echo through the arena. 

 

Andra returns as they attempt to climb to their feet.

 

Kendra: Well! We have Andra back which means this match can officially end with the next coffining. Of course that requires having energy to do so. 

 

Both dueling chants intensify.

 

Colin: AIKO STIRS! AIKO TO HER FEET AND USING THE ROPE FOR LEVERAGE! She is walking herself around the ring by the rope to try to make it to the far side of the ring where the final casket is! She better be careful though, some signs of life stirring in Gozu! 

 

Simon: Can she get to the other side before Gozu wakes??  

 

Kendra: I wouldn't count her out. Gozu's just about to his feet, Aiko gets to the other coffin and SHE OPENS THE LID! GOZU CHARGING HER AND AIKO PULLS THE ROPE DOWN! GOZU IS IN THE COFFIN! ALL SHE HAS TO DO NOW IS CLOSE THE DANG THING!!

 

Colin: She gives herself runway to land on the coffin lid.... Coffin Lid going down

 

Kendra: GOZU PUNCHES THROUGH THE TOP!! GOZU HAS HER BY THE NECK!! He pushes the lid open... SKY HIGH CHOKESLAM INTO THE COFFIN!!! GOZU HAS JUST TURNED THE TIDE ON THIS MATCH!

 

Simon: Ah, but remember the issue with the Three Stages Match, there's a hole in this coffin so the match isn't technically over yet!

 

Colin: Aiko trying to reach through the hole to get him wrecked... Gozu did learn from that earlier match and looking in the ring... he finds a chair! 

 

Simon: Gozu loves them chairs!

 

Kendra: And not a moment too soon! Gozu in the ring, he's getting a chair!!! GOZU IS BENDING THE CHAIR WITH HIS HANDS AND FILLING THE HOLE ON HIS OWN! 

 

Colin: Gozu stomps the chair into the hole! Is he...I think he's declared a winner!!

 

Aiko is last eliminated by Gozu, making Gozu your winner!

 

 

Ash: HERE IS YOUR WINNER! GOOOOOOZU!

 

Colin: What an absolute crackerjack performance!!! Gozu is going to be going on to International Incident, where he has now officially earned an Asylum Title Match. It may in fact be his first one v one title match!

 

Kendra: And now we're going to get to see whose belt JP Spears is seeking, as we go to our first title match of the night!!

 

 

Ash: The following is a triple threat contest and it is for the United States Championship!

 

 

As she bursts out of the gate, she finishes taping down her fists forearm length. When she is done, she stops and throws a haymaker forward, and two pyros explode. She takes her time, touching hands with fans.

 

 

Ash: First! From Los Angeles, Violet!

 

Colin: Violet had to go through a gauntlet to win another crack at this title. If Kiki keeps the belt, it may be the last crack.

 

Kendra: Kiki Kruel has been unbeatable since gaining this belt, but she doesn't need to be beaten to lose here. Such is the danger of the triple-threat match. 

 

 

Skylar Grey "Straight Shooter" blasts through the arena as Sarah Sharp comes out holding her book on "Social Success" and pointing to herself. 

 

 

Ash: Next! From Braintree, Vermont, Representing Zora Luthor International, the Dean of the Sarah Sharp School of Social Success, Doctor Debutante, SARAH SHARP!

 

Kendra: Sarah Sharp fashions herself the smartest person of any room she's in.

 

Simon: I mean she's a Doctor! From BRAINTREE!

 

Sarah tosses her hair and enters the ring laughing at the boos.

 

Simon: What do you think it would take to enroll in her school?

 

Colin: Somehow I don't think you'll meet the admission requirements.

 

The One Punch Champ Limo pulls up to the Stage. First, TM Ichiban exits from the driver's seat. 

 

 

TM Ichiban bows dramatically as he opens the door to reveal the One Punch Champ herself, Kiki Kruel.

 

 

A girl group comes out of the limo and sings Kiki Kruel's song as they walk to the ring with a threat behind them. 

 

Kiki Kruel is the last to exit the limo holding her title.

 

 

Ash: AND! And the Champion! Representing Kruel and accompanied by her Personal Manservant T.M. Ichiban and the Maki Birds, From Ogōri, Fukoka, Japan, the Cutest in the World, the Cold-Hearted Kupidoll, The One Punch Champ, she is the United States Champion, KIIIIKIIIII KRUUUUUEL!

 

Kendra: It's a huge power move to hire your former girl group members to be your entourage.

 

The fans boo as she adjusts her shades and blows them off, a pursed lip of ego across her face. T.M. lifts the rope for her and she enters. The bell rings.

 

Colin: The match begins, Sharp starts in on Violet and Kiki is content to stand back and watch. 

 

Simon: Sharp throws huge punches to the face of Violet! Locks up with Violet and a huge knee to the midsection. Sharp off the ropes and a big fist drop! Sarah with a face wash and just wrecking the face of Violet. Violet is going to have to make a move quickly if she wants to keep herself in contention here! 

 

Kendra: Violet hooks the leg of Sarah and yanks her down! Into an ankle lock!! Sarah struggling to get to the ropes, Violet pulling her back!! Sarah's gotta swerve and Enziguiri! Violet rolls off before Sarah can capitalize and springs herself forward with a forearm smash! Violet continuing off the ropes and a huge swinging neckbreaker to Sarah! 

 

Simon: You can feel the impact of that in the cheap seats! Violet isn't playing!

 

Kendra: Sarah to her feet and Violet ready for her with that Dropsault! Sarah to her feet, VIOLET AROUND FOR THE BANDIT COUNTRY SARAH DUCKS IT! SARAH GETS HER IN THE HIGH ANGLE....JOYKILLER SPINEBUSTER! The pin-

 

1-

2-

 

Colin: Violet kicks! But you can see Kiki's woken up now... she could easily have lost her title right then and there without giving or taking a punch! 

 

Kendra: Kiki arguing in the face of Sharp, trying to say it's her pin, Sarah I think is saying "I don't work for you" Kiki pushes Sarah! Sarah pushes Kiki!

 

Simon: VIOLET SEES AN OPENING AND CHARGES THEM WHOOOOOOOOA SARAH AND KIKI HIP TOSS HER OUT! THE MAKI BIRDS ARE HONING IN ON VIOLET OUTSIDE!! 

 

Colin: Sarah Sharp hammering away at Kiki Kruel with punch after punch after punch, clotheslines her to the apron! Holding her to the ropes...is she...Beasts of the Bodhran! 

 

1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10! 

 

Kendra: Kiki Kruel down to the Apron!! Wait - she's conferring with T.M. Ichiban AND SARAH SHARP WITH A SUICIDE DIVE AND NO!! T.M. CUTS HER OFF WITH A CANE TO THE BACK! 

 

Simon: THE SHEER TENACITY! THE PICTURE PERFECT TIMING! UNBEEEEELIEVABLE!!

 

Colin: Kiki going for it...this has become a Staple to the point she's made it her brand...KNUCKLE PUNCH NO! SARAH DUCKS IT AND KNUCKLE PUNCH OF HER OWN! NO!!! KIKI DUCKS IT!! THEY BOTH GO AGAIN... DOUBLE KO!! 

 

Simon: Where do they even hide these things??

 

Colin: That's why many of the women who play dirty have big hair. It's like a built in nest-purse. 

 

Kendra: All Violet has to do now is roll one of them into the ring and get the three count. It doesn't matter which one. She looks like she's choosing Kiki. Violet scoops Kiki and rolls her into the ring, she looks like she's going to take this! 

 

Simon: Wait I think Sarah's stirring.

 

Colin: Violet rolls Kiki over the cover.

 

Simon: Wait don't turn your back on the skies-

 

Kendra: Violet going for the pin!

 

Simon: Sarah's situating the knuckles this is going to be a bad day.

 

1!

 

Colin: It may be too late for that-

 

2!

 

Simon: SARAH BRASS KNUCKLES TO THE HEAD OF VIOLET!! SHE ROLLS VIOLET OVER AND COVERS THEM BOTH!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Sarah Sharp wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner- And the NEEEEEEW UNITED STATES CHAAAAAMPION - DOCTOR DEBUTANTE SARAH SHARP!!

 

Simon: UNBELIEVABLE! TRULY INSANE!!

 

Colin: Sarah Sharp is only the third person in the current roster to have held two separate titles and only the second to hold two separate singles titles, joining the ranks of JCM Ace! Dangerous Johnny Dagger has also held two, but a single and a trio. 

 

Kendra: Kiki Kruel has had one hell of a run as champion, but the tide has shifted, and Sarah Sharp took the opportunity that was given her. 

 

Colin: Earlier this evening Kendra you had made a comment about a world where JP Spears would be fighting his former partner, and somehow, against all odds and some evens, you were right. JP Spears and Sarah Sharp will put a cap on their story at International Incident. Personally I can't wait. 

 

Kendra: Thank you, it's nice to be right, and a bit of wishful thinking, dare I say manifestation though not of Defenestration, and the odds were completely defied and defiled. 

 

Simon (flatly): Yes, yes, congratulations to you.

 

Colin: Earlier this evening Simon you made mention of a horse grenade. The hell is a horse grenade?

 

Simon: And I think the competitors in our next match want to say something. We go now to footage of-

 

Kendra: No no, don't cut away yet. Explain yourself, Apple.

 

Simon: Let's roll that footage. 

 

Kendra: (under her breath) This isn't over. 

 

The titantron flickers on to show-

 

 

SM HeartBreaker voice over: Wrestling has only one HeartBreaker.

 

 

"No Good" By the Prodigy begins to play as we see a podium.

 

Wait... Entrance theme playing during a pre-recorded backstage segment?

 

The game's gone, what utter woke nonsense.

 

Enter SM HeartBreaker-

 

 

Suited in the finest clothes a multi-millionaire with a death wish can buy, SM HeartBreaker walks up to the podium like he is president of Parts Unknown or something.

 

SM: My fellow citizens of MAWL.

 

Oh God, what is this man going to say.

 

SM: Today, our great promotion Madness Action Wrestling League was attacked. Attacked by cowardly, evil long thought dead promotion called Path To Glory. Also known as Academy of Dreams, formerly known as Craglang Pro Wrestling, formerly known as Nationwide Wreatling, known to its many enemies as...

 

SM HeartBreaker pauses for a moment as he reads the list. SM HeartBreaker refuses to read the list of names other jealous people call P2G behind their backs, out of respect to P2G, I guess?

 

SM: You get the idea. That evil promotion that everyone claims is the number one promotion in the world. That evil promotion that fires its most loyal and long serving members. That evil promotion that attempts to crush its competition has finally shown it's hand and committed an unprovoked attack on this great promotion of ours. MAWL...

 

"Unprovoked"

 

SM: I stand before you to tell my fellow MAWL citizens that I, SM HeartBreaker will not stand for this. That I, SM HeartBreaker will continue to be the first and last line of defence for MAWL. I, SM HeartBreaker promises to fight off these invaders and protect MAWL from their corruptive influence.

 

SM HeartBreaker adjusts his tie as he knows he really got worked up for a moment there. 

 

SM: Because there is no man better than me to protect MAWL from this evil so called number one promotion in the world than me.

 

SM HeartBreaker grins. That horrible meow grin.

 

SM: Me who has not only killed this evil promotion once when it was in its most powerful form but the man who has been defending MAWL from outsiders since day one. Not since the first month, not since the first week but DAY. ONE.

 

Yeet.

 

SM: But allow me to explain to you the potential consequences that failure will bring if I do fall to this evil promotion, allow me to explain to you what I am defending MAWL from.

 

A trainee from the Myers Dojo is seen bring in a white board with a flip chart on it.

 

SM: P2G's influence has always been toxic to the world. Some may say that they have killed the business.

 

Copyright pending for "P2G Killed the business" slogan.

 

SM: If P2G win tonight, you will see MAWL fall. No longer will we have 6 hour shows on pay per view or TV. Instead we will have them split up into sixteen parts! Sixteen! You won't know what a main event is!

 

SM HeartBreaker points to the chart and figures before flipping the page to the next graph.

 

SM: Do you like unique pay per view names? Do you like originality? GONE!

 

SM HeartBreaker points to the graph of past Path 2 Glory event names.

 

SM: Gold rush!! Wrestle War! Look at this! Flashpoint! P2G broke the god damn multiverse and stole my god damn Pay per view name after I defeated every version of everyone ever on a fight! MY GOD DAMN Pay per view name! It is insane that this is still canon.

 

SM: By next year, if P2G wins. We will have MAWL All In and MAWL Marvelmania!

 

Cheeky little dub X dub reference by SM HeartBreaker there as he flicks through the flip chart to speed up his speech.

 

SM: Tours of weird countries that don't have toilets. Stables that dominate the show for two plus years. A zombie hand. Reference to Scottish comedy shows. World championships to the people in power. Bret Hart. That race thing. White tower matches. Poetry. Good graphics. Fake titles. Titles with cute nicknames. Need I go on?! Do I need to continue the list of things that will happen to MAWL if the evil so called number one promotion in the world manages to get past me.

 

SM HeartBreaker speed runs the flip chart and returns to his podium.

 

SM: Rest assured. I, SM HeartBreaker will defend MAWL against them. Rest Assured I, SM HeartBreaker will defeat them just like I single handedly defeated D.O.C. Rest assured, I, SM HeartBreaker promises that no promotion will invade and corrupt MAWL. Because while yesterday it was D.O.C, today it is that puppet Sting Ray Steve sent by the evil Path 2 Glory. Tomorrow it will be SlowMo's little currency Cartel and whichever promotion is funding them.

 

SM HeartBreaker looks directly down the camera.

 

SM: Oh yeah SlowMo! Don't think I don't have my eye on your little scheme!

 

SM HeartBreaker adjusts his microphone as he continues his monologue

 

SM: Because while I am your elected Face of this great promotion.

 

Elected by who? The entire MAWL locker room hates SM HeartBreaker.

 

SM: I stand before you as a symbol. A symbol of everything that is great about MAWL. Not only do I stand before you as an inspiration to everyone on the roster. But I am a beacon of hope to others outside this great promotion.

 

SM HeartBreaker leans in as he is about to break about six different anti-poaching laws.

 

SM: If you are an outsider watching this show today. Wondering why you ain't getting that much love from your boss? Wondering why I am standing here on this podium and not you? Wondering why you ain't given the centre of attention just like I am? Then, come. Break your contract.

 

MAWL production edit: Please do not break your contract.

 

SM: tell your boss, GM or chairman or whatever they call themselves nowadays. Tell them to go meow themselves.

 

MAWL production edit: Please don't swear at any Chairman. Be nice to your boss.

 

SM: Tell your friends to do the same! In fact, do it together. Ghost your boss as you delete your contracts and join the great promotion of MAWL

 

MAWL production note: 100% please do not do anything SM HeartBreaker says. You will be in trouble.

 

SM: Because despite unpopular opinion, I, SM HeartBreaker do welcome outsiders into MAWL. So long as you ain't a part timer. One of the "three" and are committed. Then I welcome you with open arms. Are tag team division always needs teams. Our midcard titles need challengers. Our preshows need your promos. So if you are an outsider watching. Join MAWL today!

 

MAWL production edit: Don't join MAWL today, join the normally way please. Please just ignore anything SM HeartBreaker says.

 

SM: So tonight, MAWL citizens and future MAWL citizens in the future, prepare yourself as you witness the defence of this great promotion against the number one evil promotion in the world by the lone face of MAWL, SM HeartBreaker

 

The titantron goes black and white-

 

 

"Up Where We Belong" plays over slowed down clips of the following

 

- Clips from SM's match with Schmetterling where SM was driven through the Heart Broken desk

- Clip of Scott Razor pinning both SM and SlowMo together, with a slowmo zoom in on SM's face

- Clip of Dinah Soar causing SM to bleed not once but twice - once as the plucky heroine and once as the burgeoning bad girl

- SM getting a rogue bottle in his face

- SM trying to pet a dog and it walks away from him

 

The screen reads "Fin." as the audience claps and Steve Thunder comes out in a Director's chair and beret.

 

 

Steve: And now I'll take questions from the audience. Yes, you with the dino hat.

 

 

Fan 1: What was your inspiration?

 

Steve: My inspiration, my muse, was the man who was promised a callback for Deadpool and never got it. Mr. Steve Martin Heartbreaker. Give it up folks. What a performance. Such pathos, such a moving tale.

 

The fans clap and whistle.

 

Steve: See, SM? The fans'll cheer for you. You just needed the right vehicle.

 

Steve: Day 1, you say. I've been here since 2024, my guy. I won the W2 here. MAWL was my breakthrough and made me who I am and that's why I keep coming back to do shows in between my matches with Path 2 Glory, which is a much better production now perhaps than you were in it. Hmm. Some theories can abound there.

 

Steve: You want these people here to forget HOW you got your start here. You act like you defend this place, its people. But - my producers are telling me we do in fact have another clip.

 

Clip from "Heart Broken" podcast

 

SM: A multi-time world champion. Oh yes, that means I've won the big one more than once! A multi-multi time champion in general, SM HeartBreaker will have to pretend that his main competition are guys called "Wonder Wolf". I am sure he is better than the average wolf. Ragnar! Blood Dawn! Mooooooon! Are you serious? I am fighting 40K Universe nerds that paint little figures. I can already smell the BO from these guys and I have never met them. Lets continue the list.

 

SM HeartBreaker skips a few names before continuing his rant.

 

SM: What the hell is a Gozu? Isn't that some kind of flute? Im fighting a god damn flute player?!

 

SM HeartBreaker looks straight into the camera. A camera in a podcast. SM HeartBreaker just silently stares as he can't believe what he is reading.

 

SM: OK, lets wrap it up. SM HeartBreaker will be fighting against guys named. Oh boy, lets imagine for a moment. The headline match of the biggest show of the year. Your Boy, SM HeartBreaker against. James D. What does the D stand for? How about Parts Unknown's Favourite Son SM HeartBreaker facing JP Spears? Sombras? Mal Sangre? Actually Mal Sangre is a good one. I understand spanish. That would make this roster alot more interesting because there is literally a guy named Bad Blood ready to spill it across the ring on a weekly basis. Instead of having a 5 minute exhibition matches against a guy named Billy Goldberg? Yes listeners. I am serious. All these people are future opponents for SM HeartBreaker. This isn't a meme. This isn't a joke. This is real. So I remind you of my original question. How did SM Heartbreaker end up signing for MAWL?

 

SM HeartBreaker gets ready to drop an epilogue.

 

SM: Money. They are paying me a boat load of money to be here. More than any contract should humanly have-

 

 

Colin: Steve read him the riot act. 

 

 

Simon: Can you really blame him for wanting to keep away outsiders?

 

 

Kendra: You really wanna talk about not letting outsiders, Simon?

 

Simon: ...yeah that's a good point.

 

 

Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it will be moderated by a special referee! 

 

 

The former Dinah Soar, Diana Darkheart, struts out like she is the cock of the walk.

 

 

Ash: First, the Special Referee! Representing Venom Cartel, the Home Rexer, Diana Darkheart!

 

Diana threatens to smack fans who boo her. 

 

Kendra: It remains to be seen if she'll call it even close to down the middle. 

 

 

BOOOOOMANIA RUNS WILD, which can only mean-

 

SM Heartbreaker walks out cocky, wearing his Sting Ray Sucks Eggs Shirt.

 

 

Ash: First! From Parts Unknown, weighing in at 205 pounds, SM Heartbreaker!

 

Simon: And the crowd doesn't appreciate what he's trying to do for them AT ALL.

 

Colin: If I'm not mistaken, was there a little spring in SM's step that he tried to hide?

 

 

The lights go pitch black for a second. All is quiet. Suddenly a familiar guitar riff echoes through the arena and and blue lights flicker in time to the opening licks of AC/DC “Thunderstruck.” Even if you don’t know the man, you can’t deny the song, and the crowd goes NUTS. for their hometown hero They chant “THUNDER” in time to the bass drums during which the lights in time briefly flash white to mimic the energy of a thunderstorm.

 

Kendra: Heeeere we goooo! The energy in the place is positively buzzing!

 

The main riff comes in lightning bolts erupt around the arena. A blonde man comes running out, and throws the horns to the left of the crowd, igniting a brief pillar of flame. 

 

 

Ash: And his opponent! From Slaughter Beach, Delaware, weighing in at 203 pounds, STING RAY STEVE THUNDER!!

 

He runs to the right of the stage and gives the horns to that side of the crowd, igniting a brief pillar of flame.

 

Colin: SM has been campaigning for this fight for some time, and now his time has finally come. Let's see if he can make the most of this opportunity.

 

Kendra: Not to mention what part Diana will play in it. 

He comes charging down the ramp, high fiving anyone he can. He runs around the ring and all the way back to the other side of the ramp continuing this high five. Back in the center of the ramp he lets out a hell yeah scream and sprints full force to the ring, springboarding himself and flipping over the apron, throwing a final set of horns and then whipping off the trenchcoat dramatically in preparation for the fight.

 

The bell rings.

 

Colin: Thunder just charging in with a spinning wheel kick oh SM ducks and looks to get Thunder with a superkick NO Thunder with a Matrix bend back, Pele Kick by Thunder! SM stumbling back a bit, but gets Thunder on the landing into a Full Nelson and Full Nelson Suplex! Thunder rolls away before a pin can be had but eats a High Angle Dropkick by Heartbreak which pushes him to the apron!

 

Kendra: Heartbreaker's prepared himself for this match intently and you can see he's keeping Thunder mostly on the defensive. Thunder going in for a springboard Blockbuster, SM catches him into a backbreaker! Thunder rolling off his knee with a backflip, front dropkick to SM and taking a run perpendicular for a sling blade! Thunder continuing the run and cartwheel into a moonsault elbow drop! Thunder going for a pin... Diana seems to be taking some time to get to the mat, but starts-

 

1...

 

Simon: SM kicks out, was given a large window to walk through. SM green mist to Thunder!! And an Orton Backbreaker by SM! Thunder not staying still long enough for SM to get him in a pinning situation, he's gonna have to try to use moves that have pre-pin setup. I was gonna say that I don't get the Thunder hype but I can kinda see it now.

 

Colin: Thunder perches himself on the top rope, SM makes it seem like he's going to go for him trying to lure Thunder into a false setup, Thunder not taking the bait and giving him a Dikembe Mutombo finger wag. SM going for a clothesline over the rope but Thunder pushes the rope down to duck and springboards into a Sunset Flip!! Going for a pin-

 

1...

 

Kendra: SM up again. Diana doesn't seem too thrilled about or interested in her job. Thunder may need to move to a submission to end the match and make SM call it off. SM gets Thunder with a clothesline, Thunder back up and SM with a quick DDT and looks like he's shifting the momentum back a bit! Thunder looks a little dazed, SM comes in for a running DDT and Thunder reverses into a Northern Lights Suplex! SM rolling back and bridging it into a Spinning Neckbreaker! SM going for a pin-

 

1! 

 

Colin: Thunder up to his feet and going for the Venom Spike, Diana SLIPS SM A PAIR OF BRASS KNUCKLES AND SM BRAINS THUNDER!!!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

SM Heartbreaker wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner - SM Heartbreaker! 

 

Colin: Diana raises his hand in victory, wait, she's reaching in her pocket AND DIANA KNUCKLES SM! 

 

Kendra: What a full turn from the young mousy one who refused knuckles! 

 

Simon: I'm particularly excited about the next match!

 

Colin: Really? No offense to El Cerrador, but Steve Thunder's entrance tonight exceeded the total time of his last two matches with Slow. 

 

Kendra: Slow had this to say on the matter-

 

 

Backstage in a dimly lit, concrete corridor. An array of road cases and production equipment are messily stacked against one wall. In a small, cleared area, a single folding chair is set up. SlowMosits hunched forward, her MAWL Aries Championship belt draped over one shoulder.

 

 

Her face is illuminated by the harsh, single light of a camera, which she stares into with unnerving intensity. She ignores the muffled sounds of the arena and the distant roar of the crowd, her focus solely on the lens.

 

SlowMo: ...So here we are, El Cerrador… your third kick at the can. You've failed to get the job done twice now. And if I'm being perfectly honest, I don't foresee this match being any different. But let's talk about how this time, things are being stacked, supposedly, in your favor. To try and ensure your victory, it's a 2-out-of-3 falls match.

 

She scoffs, shaking her head slowly as if pitying him.

 

SlowMo: That means you have to make me tap out. Not once, but twice. And you and I, and every single person watching this right now, we all know that is NEVER going to happen. When you lose this time, and you will lose, when I remain MAWL's Aries champion, this needs to be it. No more chances. No more delusions. This will be a definitive message to the management, to what remains of this promotion's fans, that you are what I have been calling you this whole time… an absolute, unmitigated failure.

 

SlowMo's eyes narrow, the smirk fading into a look of cold disdain.

 

SlowMo: This is it, Cerrador. No more excuses. No more whining about interference from the Cartel. When you lose, and you will, it will be because you chose to give up. Twice in one match. There will be no questions as to whether or not you are adequate in defending MAWL. This whole place, this crumbling promotion, they have placed all their hopes for survival on your shoulders. And once again, I will walk into that ring as champion, and I will walk out the exact same way I walked in. Still YOUR Aries Champion of MAWL.

 

SlowMo leans even closer to the camera, her voice dropping to an almost whisper.

 

SlowMo: This time, however, it'll be different. Because after I make you quit, after I prove once and for all that you don't belong in my league, I will take this Cartel flag, the one I carry to the ring with pride every single night, and I will plant it in the middle of that ring. MAWL, once and for all, will belong to the Cartel. But fear not, Cerrador. You'll still have a place in this promotion. Not as a wrestler, of course. You're horrible at that. But you can shine Keyser's Rolls Royce. I hear he likes it spotless.

 

A chilling smile returns to her face as she leans back in her chair, the championship belt glinting under the camera light.

 

SlowMo: Hail the Currency Cartel!

 

 

Colin: Here we go! What may be SlowMo's final battle against El Cerrador.

 

 

Kendra: Well, if Slow wins it will definitely be the last time, as El Cerrador will not be allowed near the belt as long as she holds it. 

 

 

Simon: Interestingly, although I'm the new guy here, I have more experience calling Slow than you two, I've seen the Currency Cartel in action, for a long while now, and the Slow Experience in a match where she can't just be in and out is an experience where the opponent is stuck with her rather than the other way around. 

 

 

Ash: The following contest is for the Aries Title, and it is a 2 out of 3 Submissions Match! There are no pinfalls, no Countouts, and no Disqualifications! The only way to win is to make your opponent tap out twice!

 

 

Lighting: The arena is bathed in warm golden and red lights, colors that symbolize strength, passion, and Mexican pride. As the song builds, flickers of green, white, and red (the colors of the Mexican flag) pulse across the arena, giving the entrance a nationalistic touch while highlighting his connection to his roots.

 

Smoke & Fog: As the music pics up, a thick fog fills the entrance ramp. Through the haze, El Cerrador emerges.

 

 

Ash: First, the challenger! From Tepito, Mexico, weighing in at 245 pounds, EL CERRRRRRRADOR!

 

His silhouette is now visible—tall, powerful, and purposeful.

 

 

The air in the arena grows cold as the logo of the military arm of the Currency Cartel's Contra Unit flashes on the screen. The Contra Unit's leader, SlowMo Tapout enters the arena with the rest of the Currency Cartel. First person, blasting through the curtains, is Wardy Chin and his Boys: 

 

 

Wardy Chin: BOYS!... Let's go break some hearts!

 

Behind Wardy walks Keyser Söze, wearing a black suit rumoured to cost more than a family sedan. He cautiously lights a cigar and lets out a plume of smoke as he walks towards the ring.

 

 

The last one out is SlowMo Tapout, in full combat gear. She has a mischievous, yet sadistic look on her face as she uses both arms to proudly hold up the Aries Title above her head..

 

 

Ash: And now the Champion! Representing the Currency Cartel. Standing at five feet four inches, she is the Suplex Demon. She is the Queen of Queen's Street West. Hailing from Van Nuys, Toronto, Canada. She is the Aries Champion, SlowMo, Tapoooooout!

 

The bell rings.

 

Colin: Slow beat Chantarelle at Mayday in a manner of seconds to win the belt. She's defeated El Cerrador twice in a similar fashion. I think the powers that be put her into this match thinking 2 falls will at least somewhat feel like a challenge.

 

Kendra: But you can see that she doesn't have a ton of interest in going through this again with Cerrador, the intent is to win the falls, retain the belt, and be around different opponents.  

 

Simon: Slow is looking for that first fall to keep in the same vein, whipping Cerrador across the ring, catching him and trying to get the arms wrapped around for the Fangs, CERRADOR REVERSES INTO A TILT A WHIRL HEADSCISSORS! Good Lord!

 

Colin: The man learned from his past mistakes! He knows that if he gets wrapped in the Fangs that is all she wrote. Running back off the ropes and corkscrew splash! This is a Cerrador with more fire in him than we've seen in some time! 

 

Kendra: Cerrador goes in for a headlock and wraps the arm backwards, a sort of arm-trapped Dragon Sleeper, and Slow looks fairly unbothered by this. Cerrador wrenches and tightens the hold, tries to get some sort of reaction from Slow and you might as well be explaining crypto to her right now, she looks that disinterested. 

 

Simon: Slow pushing up, getting to her knees, and parlays this into a back suplex! Slow to her feet and stomping out Cerrador now. Just really putting boots to him. 

 

Colin: Cerrador rolls away from a stomp and gets to his feet, going for a run OH SLOWMO STOPS HIM WITH A DISCUS ELBOW SPINNING HIM AROUND AND GERMAN SUPLEX!

 

Simon: OHHHH WE SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING! GERMAN SUPLEX TWO! AND HERE COMES THE LAUNCHER WHOA CERRADOR WITH A FLIP AND LEADS ON HIS FEET, DROPKICK TO THE BACK OF SLOW AND LOADING BACK, GOING FOR A BULLDOG SLOWMO CATCHES INTO A TILT-A-WHIRL SIDEWALK SLAM! UN-BE-LIEVABLE! 

 

Kendra: Slow going in for the Fangs again, Cerrador slips back and gets to her legs, Reverse Crab! Oh damn, he is starting fold her in with this hold! He's curving her more than a human body should be able to bend! She's starting to show signs of strain!! 

 

Colin: How far does a human body bend?!

 

Simon: I dunno but what I do know is look how much command she still has of her body!! Clearly in a bit of pain, but her legs are fighting at Cerrador, THEY GET AROUND HIS NECK AND SHE'S PUSHING UP TO HER HANDS!! THE PAIN IN THIS IS REAL AND SHE MAY BE DOING SOME DAMAGE TO HERSELF BUT SHE IS NOT GOING TO LET HIM GET THE BETTER OF HER AND HANDSTAND HURACANRANA!!! SHE KEEPS THE HEAD LOCKED IN WITH THE HEADSCISSORS!!! WHAT A BOSS!!!

 

Colin: Cerrador trying to regain control of his body and she just wrenches tighter!! Lifts her left leg and scissor kicks it down full force on the throat of Cerrador!! And just resuming the hold!!

 

Kendra: The look of joy on Slow's face as she puts the pain on. You can tell there's no place she'd rather be than exerting pain and control on someone. 

 

Colin: Cerrador gaining control of his hands and trying to lift that left leg off him...NO! She just slams it back down! He's only hurting himself!

 

Simon: Using both hands now to get the leg and he just barely gets himself free, and pulls that into an Ankle Lock! Cerrador yanks Slow towards the center of the ring!! Slow trying to kangaroo kick with her other leg, but he's dodging it! And folding her in again! 

 

Colin: Cerrador repositions himself so he can kneel on Slow's back, putting all his pressure on as he bends that leg allll the way back! Slow doing everything she can not to submit, fighting to the ropes, NO CERRADOR PULLS HER IN AND JAMS HIS KNEE INTO HER SPINE! HE TAKES HER LEG AND STARTS TO BEND IT INTO THE FIGURE-4 POSITION, MOVES TO HER LOWER BACK....EL CERRRRRRRÓN! AND SLOWMO IS FIGHTING EVERY URGE IN HER BODY TO GIVE UP! CERRADOR INCREASES THE PRESSURE ON THE LOWER BACK!!! SLOW CAN'T HOLD IT ANYMORE! SHE TAPS!

 

El Cerrador gets the first fall!

 

Ash: First fall goes to El Cerrador! 

 

Simon: You can see she's mad now. She asserted that Cerrador was not going to make her tapout. No more disaffected "whatever" in her face, now the Queen is going to seek her pound of flesh. She rolls back and lunges forward with a Spear!!! SHE IS LAYING FISTS AND FOREARMS INTO THE FACE OF EL CERRADOR!! HERE COME THE FANGS!!! CERRADOR TRIES TO MAKE IT TO THE ROPES AND THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN!!! HE'S TAPPIN'!

 

SlowMo gets the second fall!

 

Ash: Second fall goes to SlowMo Tapout! The next Submission will determine the Champion!

 

Colin: Slow refusing to let the hold go!! Cerrador is screaming in pain and Slow is just tightening the hold! She can't be disqualified but Andra telling her that she's not counting this as another submission.

 

 

Kendra: Slow finally relents, but she's got Cerrador by the mask and she is slamming his head into the ground! Cerrador looks like he's pretty brutalized!

 

Simon: Slow is able to get underneath Cerrador with little momentum needed...SHE HITS A VIRTUAL RIOT!!! VIRTUALLY PERFECT! 

 

Colin: Slow takes a second to get out of the ring and hit her branded vape, now she's digging under the ring... oh, what is she going to pull out??

 

Kendra: SHE MAY NOT HAVE TIME TO FIGURE OUT! WHO IS THIS??

 

 

Simon: A MASKED WOMAN WITH A BARBED WIRE BAT JUST NAILED SLOWMO IN THE BACK!!

 

Colin: What is Heartbreaker doing getting involved in this??

 

Kendra: This could just be Dinah Soar further trying to show us all how bad she is.

 

Colin: Not the same body type. But whoever this is clearly has a message for SlowMo Tapout as she continues to beat her down with that barbed wire bat. Keyser trying to pull her off, she spins around and he takes the bat to the face! Oh this is mayhem! SlowMo is slumped under the apron! 

 

Kendra: Wardy's Boys take this masked woman down with a chair, and Wardy gets the battered Slow up. He's walking her away from the ring!! 

 

Simon: Well yeah, she's in no condition to fight. The blood from her back is starting to leave a trail behind her. And if she gets out now she can maintain her title AND-

 

 

Colin: WHO THE HELL IS THIS???

 

Kendra: Did we sign someone new named Winter?? He's attacking Wardy with a Barbed Wire HOCKEY STICK! Wardy is forced to drop Slow onto the apron because he can't deal with the beating!! HOCKEY STICK UPSIDE SLOW'S HEAD!! AND AGAIN!! I THINK SHE JUST SPIT OUT A TOOTH!! 

 

Simon: (sudden realization) Ohhhh.

 

Kendra: Please share with the class, Simon.

 

Simon: Someone's gone digging into Slow's past. Winter was a woman Slow used to fight who abducted Wardy and forced Slow to fight her in a Hockey Match, which Slow tried to get barbed wire involved. What a clever little throwback whoever designed this did. 

 

Colin: Well, I doubt Slow's appreciating it quite as much as you are, as she's getting blasted upside the head repeatedly with that stick!

 

Kendra: Well here come a whole bunch of faceless Cartel soldiers trying to carry this masked attacker off. He's swingin' at em, but they appear to have overpowered him.

 

Colin: What an absolute mess this has become. Everyone is absolutely wrecked. 

 

Simon: Absolutely. 

 

Kendra: SlowMo is stirring! She is the human manifestation of "I didn't hear no bell!" She is making her way back to the ring, wait, she looks back and she goes to Wardy to pick him up, she calls over some of her soldiers and they get Wardy to safe-

 

 

Colin: OH COME ON! NOW THIS WOMAN HAS A FORKLIFT AND SHE'S DROPPING A DANG PORTAPOTTY ON WARDY AND THE SOLDIERS!

 

Simon: (cracking up) Oh my god, they went there. This is amazing.

 

Kendra: Okay...what?

 

Simon: Fists of Wind. Slow locked Fists of Wind in a Porta Potty and shipped him here to America, where he woke up in the woods. Hence the shirt design.

 

Colin: Slow is climbing into the Forklift and she's coming for this Masked Woman NO! LOOK BEHIND YOU!! 

 

 

Colin: AH OKAY! I know this one, this is Milo "Statman" Rivers. Yeah, he was kidnapped here for a minute apparently? Things get confusing here. I think most surprising to me about this is that Stat has fans. 

 

Kendra: Apparently he's low key pretty intense. 

 

Colin: Regardless, the Statfan lifts Slow up into a full nelson!! AND HE IS RUNNING HER HEAD INTO THE FRONT OF THE FORKLIFT!! HE'S BLUDGEONING HER WITH THE FORKLIFT!

 

1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10!

 

Simon: What an absolute blowout situation!! Slow clearly has no dearth of enemies! And I'm beginning to think that this wasn't SM Heartbreaker's doing. In part because he'd be bragging about it by video the whole time.

 

Kendra: Also how has El Cerrador not gotten to his feet yet?? Oh, he's JUST starting to stir!! 

 

Colin: Slow is just bleeding everywhere but she is not done fighting! SALIDA DEL SOL TO THE STATFAN! And she's just leaving a trail of crimson in her wake but she is back in the ring and THROWING FISTS AT EL CERRADOR! SHE WILL NOT GIVE UP AND SHE WILL NOT GIVE IN! AND WE WILL NOT GET OUR DEPOSIT BACK ON THE ARENA!

 

Simon: Cerrador throwing fists back! The two of them just going at it beat for beat! SHE DRIVES HIM DOWN WITH A BELLY TO BELLY! SHE SCOOPS HIM UP AND ANOTHER ONE!! AND A HUGE HEADBUTT!! 

 

Kendra: He's sputtering! Some of her blood is seeping behind his mask!! Ohhh she takes a handful and puts it in his eyes. THAT IS NASTY. And a Bulldog! She is...deciding against leaving the ring, I think that's a wise choice, but DEADLIFT GERMAN! LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED AND NO CHANCE OF BREAKING A HOLD! She drags El Cerrador to the center of the ring, and she GETS THE FANGS IN! THIS IS IT! THIS IS THE END OF EL CERRADOR! HE COULDN'T HOLD ON BEFORE AND HE WAS IN MUCH BETTER SHAPE THEN! HE'S FIGHTING TO THE ROPES AND SLIPPING ON THE MASS OF BLOOD THAT SLOW IS LEAVING IN HER WAKE! HE MAY BE GOING DOWN FOR THE COUNT! HE-

 

The Titantron flares up! Scott is there with a cigar in front of a super fancy car.

 

 

Scott: The past is a bitch, but the future, babe she's bright.

 

Simon: I recognize that perfect, pristine picture of elegant machinery everywhere! That's Keyser's car AND HE THROWS HIS LIT CIGAR INTO IT! THE CAR EXPLODES IN A BLAZE OF GLORY! SLOW CAN'T LOOK AWAY AND LOOK OUT BEHIND-

 

 

Kendra: One last memory comes back to bite Slow! She takes a huge diving chair senton to the back of the head!! She can only see the blood leave her face like water down the drain!

 

Simon: Reference to Sam Fisher, who flashbanged the Currency Cartel suite in a previous federation. Kind of a fitting end. Cerrador barely able to get his arms free and bridges back into a Chancery! Andra lifts Slow's hand- 

 

1 drop!

 

Andra lifts Slow's hand again-

 

2 drops!

 

Cerrador tightens the hold!

 

ANDRA LIFTS SLOW'S HAND AGAIN AND SHE IS HOLDING IT UP! SHE HAS IT UP SHE-

 

IS-

 

LOSING

 

HER

 

GRIP!

 

The hand is down.

 

El Cerrador has gotten his revenge.

 

El Cerrador gets the final fall to win the Title!

 

Colin: UN. BE. LIEVABLE. 

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner, AND NEEEEEW ARIES CHAMPION, El CERRRRRRADOR!

 

Colin: You have to give it to both of these competitors. They gave it every drop of blood. 

 

Simon: It took several masked assailants, an exploding car, and Scott Razor for Slow to finally lose her belt. And even then, she didn't tap the second time. She passed out in her own river of blood.

 

Kendra: One thing's for sure, the war between Scott Razor and SlowMo has just ratcheted up several notches.

 

Colin: Luckily our next match is off-grounds, so we can show you that as we clean and sanitize this crime scene that lays before us.

 

Kendra: And JCM Ace can FINALLY get his hands on Nero.

 

Simon: Let's take you now to the announcers and referee on the scene. 

 

 

A reel plays of JCM Ace calling out Nero and tearing through most members of Psycho Supremacy, before we come in on-

 

 

Sherman: HEEEY Sherman the Vermin comin' at you from a safe locked but luckily aerated and fully stocked room in the rectory by the abandoned church, we got views in all the pews and we're comin' to you to see this title match through. I'm here callin' the chaos with my compadre, my Val Pal, Ms. Valerie Thomas!

 

 

Valerie: (cracking up) You are laying it on SO thick. 

 

Valerie regains her composure with a sigh.

 

Valerie: But yes, we are thrilled and honored to be calling this title match from what I assume is a safe location. And existing in this match mostly to count time and possibly also give insight is On-Site Referee, Erica Lance.

 

 

Erica: Howdy Gung Ho Gang.

 

Valerie: What can you tell us about this match?

 

Erica: JCM Ace has been hunting down Nero for some time now, and Nero has thrown every one of his goons at JCM to get away from him.

 

Sherman: Any idea why JCM has been hunting Nero down?

 

Erica: JCM was part of that group with Heartbreaker that went after Psycho Supremacy before, so there may be something to that, but really I think JCM just wanted the challenge. Guy likes to fight.

 

Valerie: I have word now that he's...

 

JCM Ace throws his done cigarello right outside of the doorway of the abandoned church and blows out one huge puff of smoke into the dusky sky. 

 

 

Valerie: Coming.

 

JCM walks through the Narthex through Nave, a combination of reverence and aggressive determination in his walk. A statuesque figure stands behind the altar, ceremonial robes and hood masking muscle and detritus, who raises their hands in prayer. 

 

JCM Ace takes a run up the center aisle, jumps into the sanctuary,

springs UP off the Altar,

and BLASTS the figure who of course shows himself to be -

 

 

Valerie: 3RD AVE TO NERO! ... We know that's Nero, right? Not Rufus? 

 

Colin (VO): We have eyes on Rufus in the backstage area. No, that's actually Nero. 

 

Valerie: Cool, cool.

 

Sherman: Nero slides back a bit, but cracks a small smile. He spears JCM into the Altar! That's going to sting. And Nero just laying punch after punch on JCM, JCM with a headbutt and now throwing bows to the head of Nero. 

 

Valerie: JCM isn't really one to go back and assess the situation, he's much more smash mouth and he hits a spinning powerslam on Nero! Nero to his feet quickly and JCM has a flower pot, SMASH over the head of Nero! 

 

Sherman: Nero returns the headbutt from earlier and JCM gets pushed back a tic, Nero with a knee to JCM's gut and an elbow to the back of the neck! He straight up tosses JCM over the altar! JCM rolls down off the Sanctuary and Nero up onto the altar...Diving Shoulder Tackle!! JCM rolled into that front pew and falls back over it! 

 

Valerie: You can see JCM apologizing to God, and he breaks a kneeler off the back of a pew! Rolling out to the center aisle, Nero comes charging after him and JCM BASEBALL SWINGS THE KNEELER INTO THE SIDE OF NERO'S HEAD! 

 

Sherman: Everyone involved in this match is going to Hell. Including us. 

 

Valerie: He gets the Kneeler to the other side of the head AND SHATTERS IT OVER THE TOP! NERO WOBBLING AND JCM WITH THE OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY INTO THE NAVE! 

 

Erica:

1!

2!

3!

 

Sherman: You can see JCM forcing himself not to advance.

 

Valerie: You'd think that these two would be primed for a Last Man Standing, but they're impatient and want to fight NOW.

 

Erica:

4!

5!

 

Sherman: Nero is up! Nero and JCM charging each other, Nero going for a clothesline and JCM ducks, belly-to-back suplex to Nero! NERO TO HIS FEET AND A NEROLYZER TO JCM ACE!

 

Erica:

1!

2!

3!

 

Valerie: Nero starting back towards the altar, I don't know if he's convinced he's won or if he's creating distance.

 

Erica:

4!

5!

6!

 

Sherman: Ace needs to get back to his feet if he's going to keep the belt!

 

Erica:

7!

8!

 

Valerie: JCM is up and he looks pissed! JCM giving chase to Nero now, Nero stops him mid track with a Snap Suplex! JCM up and chasing Nero up the stairs JCM GERMAN SUPLEXES NERO DOWN THE STAIRCASE! WHAT A TUMBLE!

 

Erica:

1!

2!

3!

 

Sherman: JCM takes a seat on the staircase and looks down at Nero. Smart not to take eyes off him!

 

Eric:

4!

5!

6!

 

Valerie: Nero is starting to stir a little, but he looks bruised up.

 

Erica:

7!

 

Sherman: Nero is up!! JCM launches himself down the staircase for a Double Axe Handle NERO CATCHES HIM WITH A SPINEBUSTER!!!

 

Valerie: Not even a 1! JCM is to his feet! Slowly but he's gettin' up! IMPRESSIVE! 

 

Sherman: Nero lifts him into a Fireman's Carry and runs him through the railing! ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT THROUGH THE SACRISTY DOOR!

 

Valerie: JCM rolling up from that somehow, some way, that wasn't even close to enough to get him down! JCM GRABS THE MONSTRANCE AND SMASHES IT OVER NERO'S HEAD! GLASS SHATTERING! JCM GRABS THE CRUETS! ONE GLASS OF WATER, ONE GLASS OF WINE, WAITING FOR NERO TO COME BACK AROUND AND BRAINS HIM ON EITHER SIDE! HE SCOOP SLAMS NERO ONTO ALL THE SHATTERED GLASS!

 

Erica: 

1!

2!

3!

 

Sherman: Surely this must be it.

 

Erica:

4!

5!

6!

 

Valerie: This is a cautionary tell about wrestling shirtless, that's for sure!

 

Erica:

7!

8!

 

Sherman: NERO IS UP! JCM ACE CANNOT KEEP NERO DOWN! JCM showing some signs of exhaustion and frustration now! 

 

Valerie: Don't turn your eyes away from Nero OH NO KNEE TO THE BACK AND THERE'S THE CHAOS MAKER!!!

 

Erica:

1!

2!

3!

 

Sherman: JCM may lose the title right now!

 

Erica:

4!

5!

6!

 

Valerie: All this work he put into stopping Nero!

 

Erica:

7!

 

Valerie: All the blood spent defending this title!

 

Erica: 8!

 

Valerie: And Nero just took it all!

 

Erica: Ni-

 

Valerie: JCM ACE IS TO HIS FEET! 8 AND A HALF COUNT! THAT WAS TERRIFYING!

 

Sherman: JCM ACE INTO A FOOTBALL STANCE AND HE'S RUSHING NERO BACK INTO THE MAIN AREA! HE SPEARS HIM THROUGH THE AMBO! HE PICKS NERO UP AND POWERBOMBS HIM OVER THE SPLINTERS! HE'S NOT GIVING NERO A CHANCE TO GET UP!! DRAGGING NERO DOWN THE CENTRAL AISLE AND STICKS HIS HEAD IN THE BAPTISMAL FONT!! JCM HOLDING NERO'S HEAD DOWN! HE'S JUST LOST IT! AND AN ELBOW STRIKE TO THE BACK OF NERO'S HEAD DROPPING HIS HEAD FURTHER INTO THE FONT!!

 

Valerie: NERO IS TRULY STRUGGLING HERE, THIS COULD BE IT FOR NO! HE IS GETTING WHAT MUST BE AT THIS POINT A FOURTH WIND AND ELBOWS TO THE GUTS OF JCM ACE! ACE LIFTS HIM UP AND ACE BOMB!!! 

 

Erica:

1!

2!

3!

 

Sherman: Nero back to his feet, he's...ripping the whole Font out of the ground! He just golf swung the Baptismal Font into JCM! Oooh this is all sorts of problems we're gonna have with the Catholic Church.

 

Valerie: Nero could just leave him here on the ground, but I get the sense he's looking to finish him once and for all! Drapes JCM over his shoulder, and he's walking them back towards the Altar with utter tunnel vision. Get up JCM! GET UP! He's...going up the stairs to the Clerestory! COME ON JCM GET UP!! NERO HAS JCM DRAPED AROUND HIM LIKE A TOTE BAG AND OUTSTRETCHING HIS ARMS!! HE'S GOING TO PSYCHO CROSS JCM THROUGH THE ALTAR!!!

 

A beam of light from the Stained Glass reflects on Nero as he outstretches his arms in a Cross.

 

Before he can fall...

 

A shadow enters the light...

 

 

Valerie: That's the classic mask of the Red Ghost! The Robe covers up most, but the Mask is unmistakable... He's got the Processional Cross - HE JUST CRACKED IT AGAINST THE BACK OF NERO!!! NERO'S BEEN DOUBLE CROSSED!!! NERO FALLS BACK AND JCM ACE LANDS ON TOP OF HIM! 

 

Sherman: JCM Ace getting back to his feet...looks around but he and Nero are alone! JCM SCOOPS NERO UP.... AVALANCHE ACE BOMB RIGHT THROUGH THE ALTAR!!!

 

Erica:
1!

2!

3!

 

Valerie: WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

 

Erica:

4!

5!

6!

 

Sherman: I'll tell you what happened, I'm no longer the worst Vermin associated with this match!

 

Erica:

7!

 

Valerie: J!!

 

Erica:

8!

 

Valerie: C!!!

 

Erica:

9!

 

Valerie: M!!!!

 

Erica: 

10!!

 

JCM Ace wins by 10-Count!

 

 

Erica: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND STILL EURASIAN CHAMPION, J! C! M! ACE!!!

 

Valerie: ACE RETAINS!! WHAT A MATCH!!! WHAT A BETRAYAL!!!!

 

Sherman: Thank you so much to MAWL for letting us be part of this. After this commercial break, you'll be back to your regularly scheduled announcing team. So long!

 

 

BLACK SCREEN

 

A distant heartbeat… echoing like a war drum.

 

Text fades in, cracked and ancient:

 

“Before empires… there were the doors.”

 

 

Quick flashes of stone carvings:

 

Jaguar snarling through vines

 

A snake slithering across a burning altar

 

A skeletal hand reaching through a pool of ink

 

Sound: Whispering in Nahuatl, layered with wind and water.

 

A door creaks open — faint light spills out.

Screams echo from within.

 

Voiceover (whispered, Aztec's voice):

"Some doors were never meant to open."

 

Visuals of Aztec, silhouetted in firelight, his mask cracked, eyes glowing faint gold.

 

 

Text fades in with rumble sound effect:

LEGEND.

MYTH.

IMMORTAL SACRIFICE.

 

The seven Forbidden Doors flash one by one with their glyphs:

🜃 🜁 🜂 🜄 🜅 🜆 🜇

 

Each one slams shut with a heavy boom.

 

Gravewater’s silhouette in fog, laughing, holding a blood-dripping voodoo doll.

Milo watching from behind a shattered mirror.

 

 

FINAL TITLE CARD — Grunge texture, fiery edges:

 

THE FORBIDDEN DOORS

Presented by AZTEC

 

Underneath in small, flickering script:

 

Coming Soon.

 

 

Stone grinding. One last heartbeat… then silence.

Blackout.

 

 

OPEN ON BLACK SCREEN

 

A guitar riff kicks in from “Down in Mexico.”

 

 

NARRATOR (deep, gravelly voice):

“This summer… MAWL takes you where the sun burns hot… but the blood runs hotter.”

 

FLASH CUTS of Mexico City nightlife. Neon lights flicker. A masked luchador walks alone down an alley. The camera pans over shadowy cathedrals, ancient stone, flickering candles.

 

NARRATOR:

“The capital of lucha… the heart of history… the city where legends are born and baptized… in blood.”

 

Quick shots—close-ups of masked eyes. A boot slamming into concrete. Hands wrapping barbed wire. A woman in a leather jacket lighting a match. A shadow bleeding in the rain.

 

LYRICS:

“Down in the Mex-i-coooo…”

 

Fireworks explode over the Arena Ciudad de México. The crowd’s roar fades into a deep bass drum heartbeat.

 

NARRATOR:

“No rules. No apologies. Only scars.”

 

FLASH CUT – A figure bleeding beneath a spotlight. A mask ripped in half. Blood mixing with dirt. Someone laughing maniacally as a bell tolls.

 

NARRATOR:

“In the City of Masks… there are no more secrets. Everyone bleeds the same.”

FADE TO LOGO: "BAPTIZED IN BLOOD" – blood spatters across the screen, sizzling like it hit hot asphalt.

 

 

NARRATOR:

“MAWL: Baptized in Blood. Mexico City. One night only.”

“You won’t just see the violence… you’ll feel it.”

 

The music dips into the chorus one more time as we see one final image—a crimson cross spray-painted on a crumbling arena wall.

 

MAWL: BAPTIZED IN BLOOD

LIVE FROM MEXICO CITY

 

Song ends. Silence. Then one last whisper.

 

NARRATOR (low):

“There will be blood…”

 

 

Colin: We're gonna be in Mexico in July for an All-Blood Event. Get your tickets now!!

 

 

Kendra: But we don't need to wait for brutal action, because apparently a last minute addition to the card... A... Strings of Agony match? Is that right?

 

The announcers watch a balloon float through the arena and into the ring. 

 

 

Simon: 7 coffins wasn't enough. Now we have effectively an electric spiderweb and the creepy balloons are back. 

 

Colin: You regretting signing up, Simon?

 

Simon: No, it's gonna take more than clowns and coffins to scare me away.

 

Kendra: What if the clowns are juggling horse grenades?

 

Simon: I hate you. 

 

Colin: Down to Ash, who is ready to call this next...whatever this is.

 

 

Ash: The following contest is a Strings of Agony Match! The only way to win is to hang your opponent upside down for 10 seconds in the pulley system set up in the middle of the ring!

 

 

Lynx walks out onto the ramp and gets the crowd singing "Oh Baby Baby". 

 

 

Ash: First! From Bialowieza Forest, Poland, weighing 205 pounds, LYNX!

 

Colin: I often forget that's his theme song.

 

Simon: If you can get a wrestling crowd to sing along to Britney Spears, you can do anything. Except maybe beat Stitches. 

 

Lynx high fives people as he walks down the ramp and jumps into the ring. Lynx takes a nervous breath as he looks around him at the setup of the match.

 

 

The tron flickers with corrupted carnival footage. A spotlight hits the entrance ramp where Stitches stands perfectly still, head tilted.

 

 

Ash: And his opponent! From the Big Top of the Damned, weighing in at 285 pounds and standing at 6 foot 6, STITCHES THE CLOWN!

 

Balloons drop from the ceiling, and as he moves forward, each step echoes with clown giggles over a distorted bass line.

 

The bell rings.

 

Colin: I'm not sure why Lynx agreed to fight someone a whole foot taller than him. 

 

Kendra: I don't know that he had a say in it. But Stitches stares him down. Unmoving. Unflinching.

 

Simon: Unnerving. 

 

Colin: Lynx takes a run at him and this is a BAD idea. Stitches ends the run with a giant headbutt, sending Lynx down. 

 

Kendra: Lynx is going to have to be more agile than that. Or, he can just save everyone the time and hang himself upside down. 

 

Colin: Lynx has a never say die attitude. And Lynx up to the top turnbuckle. 

 

Simon: I never understood that. Sometimes you have to say die in order to not die.

 

Colin: I can't say I disagree but Lynx gonna try it and FRONT DROPKICK, STITCHES BARELY WOBBLES AND JUST CACKLING AT HIM. Lynx lands on his feet and tries to slide under the legs to Stitches to get behind him STITCHES SITS ON LYNX! OH HE'S JUST GIGGLING NOW LIKE HE'S BEING TICKLED! 

 

Kendra: When you're this impervious to pain, you can afford to be cavalier. Stitches stands up and Lynx looks pretty disheveled already. Stitches picks Lynx up by his head and just looks at him quizzically as he squeezes the temple! He could pop Lynx's eyes out before he has a chance to hang him upside down!!

 

Simon: He's got that vise grip super tight! He's starting to dance around!! Lynx trying to break free, trying to wriggle himself free, just something, Stitches squeezes harder and pulls Lynx to his face...RAPID SERIES OF HEADBUTTS!! LYNX IS JUST GETTING WRECKED BY STITCHES' HEAD AND STITCHES IS JUST CRACKING UP!! STITCHES CARRIES LYNX TO THE CENTER OF THE RING, AND HE'S STRINGING HIM UP...WAIT...I THOUGHT HE HAD TO BE UPSIDE DOWN.

 

Colin: Looks like Stitches wants to play a little bit first! You can see the joy coming into him as he steps over the ropes and down to the apron! He's pulling out a Sack! It's... a Tack Sack! He throws it into the ring and keeps digging... ohhh there's a taser down there! He's got a thought! He's got a finger up and dancing around and I don't like this at all... 

 

Kendra: He finds a clown bag! He's digging through...there's the big shoe, there's the honky horn, oh! The flower... Ohhh... Okay. I see what's happening.

 

Simon: Shopping trip done and Lynx is trying to swing himself free, big swing back, big swing forward...he might actually be able to do something here...Stitches dancing about and pouring the tacks down! Oh this is bad. Lynx just stay up there man, you're just setting yourself up here...LYNX FREES HIMSELF AND GETS THE HEIGHT INTO A HURACANRANA NO!!! STITCHES POWERBOMBS HIM RIGHT ONTO THE TACKS! LYNX SCREAMS IN PAIN!

 

Kendra: I've talked backstage with Gozu previously and we got to the topic of hardcore matches. He mentioned that the tacks were the worst, but not when you land so much as when you have to dislodge them. 

 

Colin: Wait...isn't metal a conductor? 

 

Simon: Yes why...oh no.

 

Kendra: STITCHES GIGGLING HORRIBLY AND HE'S GOT THAT TASER! AND LYNX TAKES A WHOLE LOTTA SHOCKIN'! THOSE TACKS IN HIM CANNOT BE HELPING HIM! OH, I CAN SMELL BURNT FLESH! THAT'S AWFUL!

 

Colin: Stitches also smelling burnt flesh and making an exaggerated motion like someone just crapped their pants. He's motioning to the crowd like look at that stinky man. Oh! He has an idea! He's excited about the idea! The flower! He's squirting Lynx with that flower!

 

Simon: That'll stop the burning oh wait the taser. Oh man. Oh no. 

 

Kendra: Oh yes. And it's just as bad as you might think. Lynx is in a lot of trouble here.

 

Simon: Stitches motions "Okay okay" and takes the prone Lynx, he's pulling down the pulley system again and looks like he's gonna hook Lynx up oh right side up again come on man. 

 

Colin: Stitches bopping around the ring, doing a Rocky Pantomime, using Lynx as a Speedbag! The kid's been through enough. We're getting a Rocky Training Montage out of this. 

 

Kendra: Lynx...actually looks like he might be coming to and I get the sense that he gets the sense that he has no way to win this! He's...trying to flip himself around! He's trying to throw the match!

 

1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6!

 

Simon: STITCHES PULLS HIM BACK DOWN!! He's wagging his finger at Lynx. Not done with him yet!

 

Colin: Lynx kicking at Stitches...STITCHES BOPS HIM LIKE A TETHERBALL! HE'S LITERALLY PLAYING WITH HIM! 

 

Kendra: Stitches clearly has been waiting for this moment, and he's not letting Lynx end his fun just yet. Stitches going back out of the ring for more, back over the rope, and Lynx pushing himself to get upside down!

 

1! 2! 3! 4! 5!

 

Simon: STITCHES RE-ENTERS THE RING AND PULLS HIM DOWN AGAIN!!

 

Colin: Back out of the ring, under and grabbing a Baseball Bat! HE'S MOTIONING FOR A HOME RUN! 

 

 

The crowd instinctively yells "Charge!"

 

Simon: Stitches readies his stance, uses his thumb to test the wind very important in times like these, bats to the shoes, the swing and HOME RUN HIT!!! HE SENDS LYNX SPIRALLING AND THIS TANGLES LYNX UP UPSIDE-DOWN! 

 

1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10!

 

Stitches wins!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner, Stitches the Clown!

 

Colin: Wait, hold on, Stitches is pulling out a Scissor! Don't do this man! It's bad enough you electrocuted the guy, but unmasking him is so disrespectful to lucha culture. 

 

Kendra: Stitches going for his makeup bag, and this isn't going to end well for poor Lynx...

 

 

Kendra: This is truly just atrocious. I don't know how Stitches can live with himself.

 

Simon: He seems pretty happy with his actions.

 

Colin: On chaotic situations, let's take you backstage while we get these tacks and such out of the ring.

 

 

The door SLAMS open with enough force to rattle the hinges. ELISA storms in like a hurricane, fists clenched, teeth gritted, eyes practically shaking with rage.

 

 

She’s had enough. The faint hum of an old radio lingers in the air, as if mocking her with the ghost of that damn song.

 

BALOR WOLFE and EROS are seated on the worn couch, close—Balor with an arm slung over Eros’ shoulder, the two sharing a rare quiet moment. The disruption instantly wipes the calm from the room.

 

 

BALOR
(deadpan, not even turning his head)
If you're here about the song again, take a number. He’s busy. Go away.

 

ELISA
(furious, storming toward them)
Don’t you dare patronize me, Wolfe. I’ve had it. For three straight weeks, I haven’t had a moment’s peace. I close my eyes, I hear banjos. I turn on my phone, Cotton Eye Joe. My locker. My hotel room. I swear I heard it in the damn arena bathroom.

(voice rising, face twisted with fury)
This stops now. I want Alastor, and I want him now.

 

BALOR
(leans forward, eyes dark, amused)
You think walking in here and throwing a tantrum gets you an audience with him? He’s not your therapy appointment. He’s a demon. He plays with people like you for fun.

 

ELISA
(pointing at him, shouting)
He’s playing with fire! And if you think I’m going to just sit back while he hijacks my sanity, you’re as delusional as he is!

(steps in close to Balor, nose-to-nose)
And I swear on everything I’ve got left—I will do whatever it takes to make sure Rivers takes that title from you. If I have to drag you both to hell myself, I will.

 

BALOR
(tilting his head, calm but threatening)
That’s real bold for someone teetering on the edge. You sure you wanna walk through that door, Elise? He doesn't like uninvited guests. And right now? You're on his list.

 

ELISA shoves past him.

 

ELISA
(snapping)
Good. Let him put me at the top.

 

She storms toward the ominous black door at the back of the room, glowing with crimson sigils. The air gets heavier as she approaches it. The metal nameplate reads: ALASTOR—and it’s humming again. That faint, cursed fiddle tune starts up just under the surface of hearing.

 

BALOR
(firm, warning)
Hey. I wouldn’t do that if I were you.

(pause)
He knows you’re coming. He wants this.

 

ELISA
(throws a glare over her shoulder)
So do I.

 

With that, she grabs the handle, throws open the door, and steps inside—disappearing into the red-lit abyss. The camera lingers on Balor and Eros as the door shuts with a loud THUNK. The static grows louder. The faintest echo of "Where did you come from, where did you go..." fades into silence.

 

The door SLAMS shut behind Elisa. Pitch black. No sound but her breathing, tight with fury.

 

Then—

 

A faint crackle.

An old radio on a small wooden table flickers to life, casting a dim orange glow.

 

🎵 “If it hadn’t been for Cotton Eye Joe, I’d been married long time ago…” 🎵

 

 

Elise grits her teeth. She slowly walks toward it, boots echoing against concrete, each step heavier with rage.

 

ELISE
(under her breath)
If I hear this goddamn song one more time…

 

When she gets halfway across the room, the music distorts—fading into a low, eerie fiddle tune.

 

 

🎵 “The devil went down to Georgia, he was lookin' for a soul to steal…” 🎵

The camera pans behind Elise—nothing but the radio.

But as it circles to the front—he’s there. ALASTOR, tall, smiling, red eyes glowing like coals in the dark.

 

 

ALASTOR
(cheerful, sinister)
I thought you might be droppin’ in, Miss Belle.

 

Elisa whirls around, her composure hanging by threads.

 

ELISE
Cut the theatrics. The music, the stalking, the messages. This ends now.

 

ALASTOR
(grinning)
I’m hurt. I’ve only been trying to get your attention.

You used to be someone, Elise. A queen in her own little corner of the South.
But now you’re just… playing second fiddle.

 

The shadows flicker—brief flashes project on the walls around them. Elise in her Ring the Belle office, shouting at board members. Doors closing. Headlines: “RTB Shuts Down Amid Buyout”. A younger Elise arguing with her family on the porch of a run-down farmhouse.

 

ALASTOR
(circling)
Did you know your grandfather collapsed at the gas station last week?
(tilts head)
Of course you didn’t. You haven’t spoken to anyone down in Jasper since you told your brother to rot in jail where he belongs.

(mock gasp)
Oh—and what about your niece, Beth? Sweet girl. Just turned sixteen.
Did you even know she’s wrestling now?
(leans in)
Wearing your old boots.

 

ELISA
(visibly shaken, snarling)
You stay the hell away from them! Don’t you dare—

 

ALASTOR
Oh, and your mother. Lord, the woman’s still sending you voicemails.
(imitating)
“Come home, Elise. The family's fallin' apart without you.”
How many times have you deleted her without listenin’? Ten? Twenty?

(suddenly vicious)
You threw ‘em away when you got your little fed and forgot your roots.
Didn’t want to be “just another Belle from the trailer park,” huh?

 

Elisa stumbles back, that Southern accent slipping back out uninvited.

 

ELISA
That ain’t true. I did what I had to do. I built Ring the Belle from nothin’—

 

ALASTOR
(mocking)
And you lost it all. Budget problems, talent walkin’ out, backroom brawls.
Leila swooped in, gave you a parachute… but not a throne.

 

The radio grows louder—the devil’s fiddle now frantic. Alastor circles her like a shark. Red flashes strobe the room like lightning—each flash showing another family memory. Elisa as a teenager, at church with her grandma. Her brother getting cuffed. Her dad’s funeral.

 

ELISA
(voice cracking)
You don’t know me. You don’t know my family. Just shut up, damn you!

 

ALASTOR
(smiling calmly)
Oh, but I do, Elise. I know what you ran from… and what you still are.
A scared little girl in snakeskin heels, pretending she ain't from the dirt.

 

She tries to yell again—but the pain’s catching up. The guilt, the anger, the fear all boiling over.

 

ELISA
(almost breaking)
What do y’all want from me?!

 

Alastor finally stops walking, stands beside the softly glowing radio. His voice drops—low, cold.

 

ALASTOR
I want my own show. My own platform.
And I want you to stop buzzing around Radio Silence and Balor like a drunk mosquito.

 

Elisa takes a breath—spits her answer.

 

ELISA
No.

 

ALASTOR
(smirks)
Fair.

You’ve got ‘til the end of the pay-per-view to take the deal. Or offer somethin’ better.

(eyes flash, voice deepens)
Otherwise… if you think it’s bad now?

(leans forward)
Just you wait.

The last lines of the song play—

 

🎵 “And if you ever wanna try again, just come on back, ‘cause I’m the best there’s ever been…” 🎵

 

Alastor joins in, lips curling in joy:

ALASTOR
🎵 “Fire on the mountain, run boys run…” 🎵

 

Elisa bolts. She nearly trips running for the door, throws it open, tears through the locker room. The radio cuts off.

 

SLAM.

The door swings shut behind her. Silence—until it’s broken by a peal of high, mad laughter.

 

ALASTOR
(cackling echo)
AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!

 

Cut to black.

 

 

Kendra: Alastor trying to push his way into the Executive Suite.

 

 

Colin: I definitely fear sitting at that hypothetical announcer's booth.

 

 

Simon: You worried he'll turn you into a badger or something?

 

Colin: Well I wasn't.

 

Kendra: We move onto our next round now, with a rivalry that had been going on quite a while in various sizes and guises. 

 

Brief supercut of Solemn Guardian, Moon, and Blood Drawn in conflict with each other.

 

 

Ash: The following contest is a triple threat match and is scheduled for one fall!

 

 

The arena goes dark, and the sound of a slow, ominous drumbeat fills the air before this theme music begins.

 

 

Ash: First! From Bloodhaven, weighing in at 285 pounds, BLOOD DRAWN!!

 

Colin: Blood Drawn can't seem to stop himself from going after Moon. It's almost as if he's still trying to ward off that early loss still and the subsequent victories haven't satiated him.

 

Kendra: We thought the two were done with each other but something has reignited that fire.

 

Colin: I'm beginning to think that no one is ever really done with Blood Drawn until he ends them. 

 

 A blood-red spotlight illuminates the stage as he slowly makes his way to the ring. He stares down the crowd with cold, predatory eyes before stepping into the ring and roaring to signal his dominance. 

 

 

A colorful lightshow dances across the entrance gate. A generic wrestling video plays on the titan-tron, as Moon makes his way to the ring. Moon walks slowly through the main gate. 

 

 

Ash: His opponents! First, from Pune, India, weighing 200 pounds, MOON!!

 

Moon walks slowly through the main gate. He then poses on top of the turnbuckle before he heads to the center of the ring.

 

Simon: Moon's small frame definitely does not tell the whole story as he is someone who goes tone over tower. This gives him two advantages - one, he has flexibility where bigger and bulkier men do not which helps him with his submission skills. Two, the element of surprise. They see this man come in as a sort of soft handsome and are unaware that he can easily put pain on someone.

Moon's tall frame and broad shoulders cast an imposing figure. He's dressed in his Royal Moon Prince attire. The lights illuminate the golden trimming on his outfit. A fierce energy seems to emanate from him. His hair is white; and his dark eyes, alight with excitement, have fire in them.

As Moon enters the ring he removes his royal attire and the crowd in the arena witness his impressive physique. Moon is quite handsome. His toned and tight body make a great first impression. His six pack abs and bulging biceps look very impressive.  

 

 

Black smoke covers the front view as Solemn Guardian emerges. Ominous bells and ringing with the hiss of snakes the caws of ravens and soft chanting can be heard.

 

 

Ash: AND! From Huntington, West Virginia, weighing in at 165 pounds, THE SOLEMN GUARDIAN!

 

Solemn Guardian carries his tome in front of him reverently as he walks down the ramp, a cold following him.

 

Colin: We don't talk enough about what's in that tome of his, but it has something to do with the Apocalypse and what's to come.

 

Kendra: Moon often mentions Armageddon when he does his Slam, do you think that the connection between the two might be there?

 

Colin: I...hadn't thought of that but yeah I suppose that would make sense.

 

Simon: You've been calling these two HOW long now, Colin?

 

The bell rings.

 

Colin: Half a year, maybe? Shut up, Simon.

 

Kendra: Well, they're squaring off. These three are no strangers to each other, and both Moon and Blood Drawn know the dangers of being on The Holy Precipice, so they can't give Guardian the chance to put that in play. 

 

Simon: RIght. If he gets his hands around your head, you have maybe a second and a half before you're in deep trouble.

 

Colin: Blood Drawn tries to prevent that right off the bat with a single-hand chokeslam to each of them simultaneously. going for a 1-handed pin on them both but they kick easily and to their feet. Blood grabs Solemn, spins him around and reaches with his free hand to get Moon...DOUBLE ORTON BACKBREAKER! 

 

Kendra: Blood Drawn looking to assert dominance right from jump with these two, showing them that the two of them don't match up to one of him. And all told he's doing it. Scoops Moon up and Shoulderbreaker! Scoops Solemn Guardian up and plants him with a front slam! And he's locking Moon up for that Hemorrhage Clutch, looking to get this match wrapped up quickly - HERE COMES GUARDIAN WITH A BASEMENT BOOT TO GET BLOOD DRAWN OFF THE HOLD! MOON TO HIS FEET AND GUARDIAN GOES FOR THE HOLY PRECIPICE BUT MOON DUCKS AND SKULL CRUSHING FINALE TO GUARDIAN! 

 

Simon: Moon goes for the cover but Blood pulls him off and Inverted Powerslam! 

 

Kendra: His beautiful face! Guardian staring down Blood Drawn, Drawn staring back into the lifeless eyes of the Guardian and short-arm Lariat, NO Guardian ducks it and is going for the Holy Precipice but Blood pushes him off and sends him running across the ropes Blood picks him MOON JOINS IN FOR A 3D! Solemn Guardian to the ground! 

 

Colin: It is everyone for themselves here and now Moon stepping in the face of Blood Drawn, and a huge chop to the chest of Blood Drawn! A second huge chop to the chest of Blood Drawn! Moon hooks the arm of Blood Drawn, going for the arm drag and Blood easily reverses to an arm wringer flip. Moon just bouncing off the mat. 

ENDRA: Kendra: Moon takes that bounce and trying to turn it into a running clothesline, but Blood Drawn just has his number six ways to Sunday and Powerbomb. Blood has had the run of this match so far. Blood Drawn just blasting Moon with that Spinebuster! 

 

Colin: You have to admire the courage of both Moon and Guardian that gets them up in the face of Blood Drawn.

 

Simon: Courage or stupidity.

 

Kendra: You're not entirely wrong and Blood Drawn gets Moon up.... looks like we're gonna get it... BLOOD! LINE! BREAKER! Moon is down and GUARDIAN UP WITH THE HOLY PRECIPICE!

 

Simon: HE DID IT AGAIN!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Solemn Guardian wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner, THE SOLEMN GUARDIAN!

 

Colin: Guardian strikes with precision and accuracy and doesn't need much to get the job done. 

 

Kendra: And our next match is going to have the feeling of Rocky IV when All Star Eric Verne takes on Ivan Volkov. 

 

Simon: We'll see if Verne is the Rocky or the Creed in this scenario.

 

 

Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!

 

 

Star fireworks build up in crescendo at the entrance to the rhythm of the synth/piano as the crowd gets increasingly hype. When Tinie starts rapping Eric Verne jumps out onto the stage and the star fireworks explode ALLLL around him.

 

 

Ash: FIRST! From Screamer, Alabama, weighing in at 201 pounds, ALLLLL STAR ERRRRIC VERNE!!!

 

Eric gets the crowd pumped as he gives them very intent high fives. During the parts of the song that go "OH! OH! OH!" he cups his hands like Sting and sings them out, which the crowd gives back. He backflips over the ropes.

 

Colin: The crowd absolutely adores Eric Verne!

 

Kendra: What's not to love? Four-sport Scholar-Athlete, ball of pump up energy that's like filling Greg Arias full of Red Bull, banger song and banger move set. How much of that matters against Ivan Volkov...that remains to be seen.

 

 

Ivan walks slowly and deliberately, glaring at the audience, before ripping off his coat in the ring to reveal his massive frame.

 

 

Ash: And his opponent! Accompanied by Viktor Dragovich, from Russia, weighing in at 315 pounds, the Siberian Titan, IVAN VOLKOV!

 

[Bell rings]

Colin McRae: "And here we go, folks. Eric Verne squaring off against Ivan Volkov in what feels less like a sanctioned match and more like a hit job orchestrated from the office of Elisa Mae He."

 

Kendra Mavis: "You’re not wrong, Colin. This is a straight-up setup, and everyone in this arena knows it."

 

Colin: "Referee doing his due diligence—checking Ivan for weapons, and—wait a second—"

 

Kendra: "Oh, COME ON! VIKTOR JUST STABBED ERIC IN THE THROAT WITH THAT CANE!"

 

Colin: "The referee's back was turned! Viktor Dragovich just jabbed that reinforced cane right into Eric Verne's throat! Verne drops like a stone—clutching his windpipe—"

 

Simon Apple: "Strategic. Smart. You don’t fight a war without using every tool in your arsenal, and Viktor just proved why he's invaluable to Ivan Volkov."

 

Colin: "Ivan turns around—sees his prey weakened—and immediately grabs Verne by the arm—judo-style ura nage! That overhead throw just spiked Verne’s upper back right into the mat!"

 

Kendra: "He hasn’t even had a chance to breathe yet! That cane shot should’ve been a disqualification!"

 

Colin: "But the ref never saw it—and Ivan’s taking full advantage. He’s on top now—driving down those hammer fists! Unprotected shots to the side of Verne’s head!"

 

Ref: "One! Two! Three!"

 

Colin: "Ref starting the count—Volkov breaks at four. Rolls Verne onto his back—here’s a cover!"

 

Ref: "ONE! TWO—"

 

Colin: "Kickout at two! Eric’s still in this, but he’s not all there."

 

Kendra: "And Dragovich is barking orders on the outside like he’s the damn field marshal."

 

Colin: "Ivan now—pulls Verne to his feet—military-style gutbuster! Just threw him up and dropped him gut-first across the knee!"

 

Simon: "That’s what we call rib control. Every breath Verne tries to take from here on is pain. This is how Ivan breaks people—slow, methodical, brutal."

 

Colin: "Verne crawls to the ropes, gasping for air—he’s on instinct right now—but Volkov isn’t giving him a second. Running knee to the ribs! That knocked the wind out of him again!"

 

Kendra: "And look at Viktor! Smug as ever! He’s practically daring the ref to look at him."

 

Colin: "Ivan now—hooks the arms—double underhook suplex! Nearly sent Verne across the ring!"

 

Ref: "ONE! TWO!!—"

 

Colin: "Another kickout by Eric Verne, but his body language tells the story—he’s in survival mode. And the crowd knows it—they’re trying to will him back into this!"

 

Crowd: “LET’S GO VERNE! LET’S GO VERNE!”

 

Colin: "But Ivan’s cutting the ring in half. Cornering him now—machine-gun body blows! That’s a flurry to the ribs, and Verne’s legs are starting to sag!"

 

Kendra: "This isn’t a match anymore—this is state-sponsored punishment!"

 

Simon: "It’s justice, Kendra. You want to be a hero? Heroes bleed. Verne interfered in business that wasn’t his. Elise Mae He’s reminding him where the line is."

 

Colin: "Ivan steps back—charges—Siberian Cannonball! That rolling senton in the corner just crushed Verne’s spine against the bottom turnbuckle!"

 

Ref: "ONE! TWO! THR—"

 

Colin: "NO! Verne somehow gets the shoulder up!"

 

Kendra: "He’s not just fighting Ivan—he’s fighting Dragovich, Elise Mae He, and every bit of bureaucratic spite that made this match happen!"

 

Colin: "Ivan drags him out of the corner by the arm—looking for a Siberian Stretch! That grounded arm-trap camel clutch variation—pulling the neck and shoulder back at a sickening angle!"

 

Simon: "Look at the torque! That’s surgical punishment right there. Elisa told Ivan: send a message—and he’s writing it in agony."

 

Colin: "Verne is screaming in pain! He’s reaching—he’s inching his way toward the ropes!"

 

Kendra: "Come on, Eric! Don’t give up! Drag yourself!"

 

Colin: "Verne reaching—fingers out—he’s got the rope! Ref starts the count!"

 

Ref: "ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR—"

 

Colin: "Ivan holds to the very last second before releasing. And now he’s dragging Verne back to center! Cover again!"

 

Ref: "ONE! TWO!!—"

 

Colin: "And again Verne kicks out!"

 

Kendra: "He won’t stay down! Even after that cane shot, even after that barrage—he’s still in this!"

 

Simon: "Yeah, but for how long? Look at him. He’s barely on his feet. Ivan’s fresh as a glacier."

 

Colin: "Verne trying to pull himself up using the ropes. He’s dazed—he’s wobbly—but he’s still upright."

 

Kendra: "That’s what guts look like."

 

Colin: "Ivan storms in—goes for a lariat—NO! Verne ducks! He staggers into the ropes—springboards back—springboard moonsault press! He got him! He got some of it!"

 

Kendra: "That’s the opening he needed!"

 

Colin: "Eric Verne is down. Ivan Volkov is stunned. Both men are down in the center of the ring—and this crowd is electric!"

 

Crowd: “ERIC! ERIC! ERIC!”

 

Colin: "We’ve gotta take a break—but don’t go anywhere! Eric Verne just found a spark—can he ignite it into a comeback?"

 

Colin McRae: "We’re back live, and folks, during the break Ivan Volkov never let up—just dishing out pure, systematic violence to Eric Verne."

 

Kendra Mavis: "This isn’t a match. This is sanctioned torture. And Elise Mae He should be ashamed."

 

Colin: "Verne is barely on his knees—and Ivan, with that cold look in his eyes, just drives the boot into his ribs again—stomping down with military precision!"

 

Simon Apple: "No wasted motion. No wasted emotion. This is the Ivan Volkov blueprint: identify weakness, exploit it, eliminate resistance."

 

Colin: "And Dragovich on the outside? Just loving this. Laughing like this is some victory parade."

 

Kendra: "Of course he is. He’s not just watching—he helped make this happen."

 

Colin: "Ivan now—grabs Eric by the back of the head—starts grinding his forearm into Verne’s face—just raking it across like sandpaper on skin!"

 

Kendra: "That’s not wrestling—that’s humiliation!"

 

Simon: "No one said this was going to be a fair fight. Just an effective one."

 

Colin: "Verne rolls away instinctively—tries to create distance—but Ivan follows. Running stomp to the spine! Eric’s entire body just jerked forward from that impact!"

 

Crowd: “BOOOO!!”

 

Colin: "Listen to this crowd—absolutely venomous toward Volkov and Dragovich right now."

 

Kendra: "They know what this is. They see the setup. They saw the cane. They know Verne never had a chance."

 

Colin: "Ivan now—grabbing the arm—ripcord knee to the face! My GOD! Verne’s body just folded! He didn’t even go down properly—he crumpled."

 

Simon: "That’s the difference between toughness and survival instinct. Verne’s body hasn’t shut off yet. But it’s coming."

 

Colin: "Ivan backs up—measured pace—running knee to the side of the head! Eric just flopped sideways like a ragdoll!"

 

Kendra: "STOP THE MATCH! He hasn’t done anything wrong—he doesn’t deserve this!"

 

Colin: "And Dragovich is clapping—taunting the fans now—yelling, ‘This is what happens when you cross the machine!’"

 

Simon: "Because he’s right! Eric should’ve kept his nose out of Balor Wolfe’s business."

 

Colin: "Ivan dragging Verne up by the waistband—locks him in a waistlock—DEADLIFT GERMAN SUPLEX! Eric’s skull bounced off the mat! But Volkov doesn’t go for the cover—he floats right over—locks in a rear chinlock—driving the point of his elbow into Verne’s temple!"

 

Kendra: "Look at Verne’s hands—he’s not even trying to fight back anymore. Just twitching. Just there."

 

Colin: "The ref’s asking if he wants to quit—Verne’s not saying anything—but Ivan releases the hold? What—what is he doing?"

 

Simon: "Sending a message. He’s not here for a win. He’s here for a reckoning."

 

Colin: "Ivan stands—drives the heel of his boot into the back of Verne’s neck again—another shot to the spine—and then just walks away for a second—completely composed."

 

Kendra: "And Dragovich is gesturing. You see that? He’s telling Ivan where to hit him next!"

 

Colin: "Volkov stalks forward—grabs Verne—lifting him into a crucifix position—NO—DROPS HIM INTO A BACKBREAKER OVER THE KNEE! That’s spine first across 275 pounds of pure Russian brute force!"

 

Colin: "He’s holding him there—STILL—wrenching the back across his knee!"

 

Referee: "Ivan! Off the back!"

 

Colin: "Ivan finally shoves Verne down like he’s garbage. Just tosses him."

 

Kendra: "This is hard to watch, Colin. This is just hard to watch."

 

Colin: "Ivan now—stands over the broken body of Eric Verne—spits on him. And Viktor Dragovich? Applauds."

 

Simon: "That’s how you make a statement."

 

Colin: "Verne’s barely moved. Just breathing, twitching. And Ivan kneels down—whispers something to him."

 

Kendra: "You know what that was. ‘You shouldn’t have gotten involved.’"

 

Colin: "Eric Verne is being dismantled. This is no longer about victory. This is about destruction."

 

Crowd: “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!”

 

Colin: "And Ivan smiles—the coldest, most calculated grin I’ve seen in years. This isn’t over, folks. But I don’t know how much more Eric Verne can take."

 

Colin McRae: "We’re deep into this match and I don’t know how much more Eric Verne can take—he’s barely conscious, his body’s just reacting now."

 

Kendra Mavis: "He hasn’t thrown a single strike, Colin—not one. Just eating punishment like he’s being sacrificed."

 

Simon Apple: "That’s what happens when you stick your neck into business that doesn’t concern you. Elise Mae He gave this match the green light for a reason."

 

Colin: "Ivan drags Eric up by the arm—Verne can’t even stand without assistance—and Volkov HEADBUTTS him! Oh God! Eric’s legs just gave out and he collapsed in a heap!"

 

Kendra: "Stop the match, please. The ref has to call this."

 

Colin: "Volkov now—hooks the arms—Butterfly Suplex! And he’s not going for the pin again! He’s just… stalking."

 

Simon: "It’s about dominance, Colin. You think Ivan’s worried about a three-count? He’s carving a legacy in Verne’s skin right now."

 

Colin: "Verne crawling—dragging himself to the ropes like he’s looking for a lifeline—and Viktor just laughs! He’s not even yelling instructions anymore. He’s just enjoying the collapse!"

 

Kendra: "This is one of the most one-sided beatings I’ve ever seen. Ivan’s got the whole arena in the palm of his hand."

 

Colin: "Volkov moves in—lifts Verne to his knees again—and a stiff slap across the face! That one echoed all the way to the cheap seats!"

 

Crowd: “OHHHHH!”

 

Colin: "Wait—Eric didn’t drop—he’s… he’s shaking."

 

Kendra: "Look at his eyes, Colin—he’s STILL in there!"

 

Simon: "Should’ve stayed down, Verne."

 

Colin: "Ivan swings for another—but ERIC DUCKS! VERNE DROPS BACK—PELE KICK OUTTA NOWHERE!"

 

Kendra: "YES!! YES!!"

 

Colin: "Volkov staggered! He didn’t go down—but he’s stunned! Eric drags himself up—leaps—SPINNING DDT!! VOLKOV’S HEAD SPIKES THE CANVAS!"

 

Crowd: “LET’S GO VERNE! LET’S GO VERNE!”

 

Colin: "And Verne’s not done! He uses the ropes—climbs—he’s barely holding himself up—SPRINGBOARD ENZUIGIRI! He caught him CLEAN across the jaw! Ivan just collapsed!"

 

Kendra: "This is it! He’s got him! COVER HIM!!"

 

Colin: "Eric crawls—arm over the chest!"

 

Referee:
“ONE! TWO! THR—NO!!”

 

Crowd: “AHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

Colin: "HE GOT THE SHOULDER UP! He got the shoulder up at 2.9! Eric Verne was HALF A SECOND from stealing this match out of the flames!"

 

Kendra: "That was pure willpower. I don’t know where it came from, but Eric just blew this place open!"

 

Simon: "He got lucky. That’s all it was. A dead man twitching."

 

Colin: "Maybe—but it’s the first crack we’ve seen in Volkov’s armor. Eric Verne’s not out yet—and this crowd is electric!"

 

Kendra: "This could be the start of something special, Colin. If he’s got anything left—anything—he needs to use it now!"

 

Colin McRae: "Eric Verne is fired up! After that near fall, he’s found a second wind and Volkov looks rattled!"

 

Kendra Mavis: "That DDT turned the tide, Colin—he’s moving like a man who’s found his fight!"

 

Colin: "Volkov up—but eats a RUNNING DROPKICK! Ivan spills into the corner! Verne’s already up—charges again—ANOTHER DROPKICK! Volkov slumps against the turnbuckles!"

 

Simon Apple: "He’s just reckless! This kind of flailing isn’t gonna get him a win!"

 

Colin: "Eric’s climbing—he wants the trifecta—TOP ROPE MISSILE DROPKICK COMING UP!"

 

Kendra: "He’s going for it! Come on, Eric!"

 

Colin: "Verne’s perched… he’s locked in—WAIT—VIKTOR’S ON THE APRON—AND CRACKS ERIC IN THE BACK WITH THE CANE!!"

 

CRACKKKK!!!

 

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

Kendra: "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? That cane sounded like a steel chair! What is that even made of?!"

 

Colin: "Eric crumples from the top rope—hard—he lands awkwardly on the mat! The ref was caught in the corner—still holding his head from that earlier bump!"

 

Simon: "That’s why you don’t waste time! Should’ve hit the move instead of showboating!"

 

Colin: "Verne stumbles to his feet—he’s dazed—AND IVAN STRIKES—RED WINTER EXECUTION!!"

 

Kendra: "NO!"

 

Colin: "HE SPIKED HIM! Lateral press—ref dives in!"

 

Referee:
“ONE! TWO! THREE!”

 

Bell rings

 

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

Colin: "Ivan Volkov steals this one, and there’s no question—he had help. That cane shot echoed across the entire building!"

 

Simon: "That’s a win, Colin. Put it in the books. Verne should’ve known better."

 

Kendra: "Disgusting. He had this match. He had Volkov dead to rights."

 

Colin: "And here comes Dragovich—sliding into the ring like he owns the place—he raises Ivan’s hand like a prizefighter… and now he’s pointing down at Eric Verne!"

 

Kendra: "Oh come on, it’s over! You proved your point—"

 

Colin: "Wait—Volkov pulls Verne back up! Not another—NOT ANOTHER RED WINTER EXECUTION—"

 

Crowd erupts.

 

 

Colin: "WAIT! WAIT A SECOND— THAT’S ZAGREUS’ MUSIC!!"

 

Kendra: "YES!!"

 

Colin: "AND HERE COME THE EDGE RUNNERS! JOHNNY AND V STORM THE RING—ZAGREUS RIGHT BEHIND THEM!!"

 

 

Simon: "What is this now?!"

 

Colin: "Dragovich bails! Volkov follows! The wolves of Radio Silence have arrived—AND THEY’VE CLEARED THE RING!!"

 

Kendra: "That’s what happens when you push your luck! The cavalry is HERE!"

 

Colin: "Zagreus and the Edge Runners now helping Eric to his feet—he can barely stand but he’s upright… they’re supporting him, step by step, to the back."

 

Kendra: "They didn’t forget. He helped Balor last week. This is family returning the favor."

 

Colin: "Eric Verne may not have won tonight—but he’s walking out, and he’s not alone. That’s what MAWL is all about."

 

Simon: "Tch. Enjoy your moment. Next time, stay out of Elisa Mae He’s way."

 

Colin: "Unbelievable match. Interference. Resilience. Brotherhood. You name it—we saw it tonight."

 

Kendra: "And now we go from Brotherhoods Built to Brotherhoods Lost, as we come to Tino Sabatelli coming face to face with a woman who betrayed him."

 

 

Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!

 

 

The Anti-Corruption Limo pulls up, and The Papa Tino Sabatelli comes out of the door. He throws his cigar to the ground and a flame pyro shoots up behind him.

 

 

Ash: First! From Roma, Italy, weighing in at 365 pounds, the head of La Family, The Papa, TINO SABATELLI!

 

Tino fixes his jacket as he walks down the ramp, then carefully folds his jacket at the corner of the ring before entering. 

 

Colin: Tino has had to deal with a masked assailant that appears to have been Schmetterling and it remains to be seen whether that's true or not. 

 

Kendra: I have faith it's not.

 

Simon: He was a villain before. It's not out of the realm of possibility.

 

 

The arena lights go completely gold as Gina Thieso struts out in her gold-lined fur coat.

 

 

Ash: And his opponent! From Calabria, Italy, representing Team Superstarz, GOLDEN GUN GINA THIESO!

 

Gina struts down the aisle to boos.

 

Kendra: Later tonight, Elisa Mae He is going to fight Leila Blake for control of MAWL writ large. If Leila wins, Team SuperStarz effectively gets disbanded and Elisa remains the GM, but will be under probation and any sign of insurrection or stupidity and she will be either demoted or terminated. AND Elisa Mae will lose access to Team SuperStarz, effectively disbanding it. 

 

Colin: Obviously MAWLIWOOD Blondes will do fine as a team, but it remains from there to be seen what will happen with Gina, Tamara, AM Brooks, Magnus...

 

Kendra: I imagine Magnus would fit in well with Venom should that happen.

 

Simon: That's all presupposing Leila wins though, and it's very possible she won't. But that's for later. For now we have this in front of us. 

 

The bell rings. 

 

Colin: Tino and Gina squaring off. Gina came to MAWL all up on Tino's mission but was bought out in her first match. Gina gives Tino the forehead kiss, and short-arm clotheslines him! Gina picks Tino up and running powerslam! 

 

Kendra: Tino quickly back to his feet, throwing multiple knees into the gut of Gina Thieso and Irish Whip...oh a brutal big boot. Tino grabs her by her hair and runs her into the turnbuckle at full speed! An Irish Whip to the opposite corner, and he comes charging with a Big Boot! OH GINA MOVES AND KICKS THE BACK OF TINO'S LEG WITH FULL FORCE! 

 

Simon: Gina focusing now on that leg, this is solid strategy and I'm here for it! OH DAAAAAMN STIFF PUNCH BY TINO SENDS HER ROLLING!

 

Colin: He seems to be taunting her, telling her to get on her knees and kiss her ring. Gina approaches and...she's....genuflecting! She seems to see the writing on the wall! Tino extending her hand, and yes, Gina grabs it.

 

Kendra: She must have wanted to do this all aOH GOD SHE'S BITING HIS HAND! HE WINCES A LITTLE AND PULLS HIS HAND BACK AND LOW BLOW!! SHE COMES FOR THE RIPCORD OH HE DUCKS IT AND SIDEWALK SLAM! TINO IS BACK IN THIS ONE!

 

Colin: He's not gonna let a little bitten hand get in the way of his win. He whips her off the ropes and back around - DEEP SIX! HE'S GOT THE MOMENTUM BACK ON HIS SIDE.

 

Simon: Oh I dunno about going up there still feels a little early to go for the OH NO LOOK OUT

 

 

Colin: The antlers, the metal mask, yes he's in a hoodie but Schmetterling seems to be involved YET AGAIN AS HE PUSHES TINO OFF THE ROPES! Andra is calling for the bell!

 

Tino Sabatelli wins by Disqualification!

 

 

Ash: As a result of a disqualification, the winner of this match is-

 

Colin: OH NO! NOW SCHMETTERLING IS PUSHING ASH AND RIPPING THE MIC OUT OF HER HAND! HE SENDS HER OUT OF THE RING AND IS STOMPING OUT TINO! 

 

Kendra: I still don't think-

 

Suddenly over the intercom is heard "SCHMETTERLIIIIIIING"

 

 

Plumes of fire go off in various entrance ways and the crowd loses it as a flamethrower lights up the entranceway.

 

 

The audience absolutely loses it.

 

Kendra: THE REAL SCHMETTERLING'S RETURNED! THE REAL DEAL HAS COME BACK, MAYDAY JUST GOT THAT MUCH MORE EXPLOSIVE!

 

Colin: I AM SO SORRY I DOUBTED YOOOOOH MY GOD!

 

A giant boot pushes Schmetterling into one of the plumes of fire killing the music.

 

Kendra: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT

 

Out of the shadows pops-

 

 

Simon: WHO THE HELL IS THAT?

 

Kendra: And who the Hell is that?

 

The fake Schmetterling smirks as he lifts the mic to his mouth.

 

??: Miss me? 

 

The big blue man starts to approach the ring, causing La Family to come out and stand in his way.

 

 

The fake Schmetterling pauses for a second, then chuckles.

 

??: RIGHT. You don't even know who I am. In a moment I'm going to reveal myself, but even that won't tell you anything. That won't be a dramatic reveal. You see, when you wrestle in a mask and full body suit for most of your career, you could be anybody. You could be nobody. You could be several people. You can even have decoys if you need. Nobody will know who you are, which means nobody knows if you're alive or dead.

 

Colin: Oh wait. No. What?

 

??: I want to take you back for a moment. A moment where two titans of industry were scheduled to clash. A moment where an impetuous idealistic upstart found his life taken from him, first through a series of cuts, and then through an explosion of an ambulance. I have been watching and waiting, and yet no flowers were given for that man who was taken for that day, no calls to the friends and family of...

 

Production Intern Brayden Jayne.

 

Kendra: WAIT A MINUTE WHAT THE HELL

 

At this point Elisa Mae He walks out looking very pleased with herself.

 

 

??: You see, Elisa Mae and I have been working together to deal with the nuisance that is Tino Sabatelli. As well as some other nuisances. Clearly we hadn't finished the job with Schmetterling from that event, but I think we can remedy that. But that day, Elisa Mae had the visionary idea, as I was a masked man then, to send an incompetent intern in my place, keeping me hidden away until the time is right, protecting the real - 

 

He pulls the mask off to reveal-

 

 

??: Black Saber.

 

Kendra: No. NO. We saw Black Saber blow up. We-

 

Colin: We hadn't seen Brayden come back after that event. No, I think the story unfortunately checks. Elisa Mae sacrificing an intern unfortunately seems pretty in line with things. 

 

Black Saber: Soldat... It's time. 

 

Colin: SOLDAT AND LUIS ARE RUSHING THE RING! SOLDAT AND LUIS ARE BEATING THE LIVING HELL OUT OF TINO SABATELLI!! WHAT A HORRID BETRAYAL!! DOUBLE CHOKESLAM! A SECOND ONE! WAIT, THE BIG BLUE MAN IS COMING IN TOO AND HE HAS TINO OVER HIS HEAD....TOSSES HIM OUT OF THE RING AND FACE FIRST INTO THE STEPS! THE BIG MAN IS CLIMBING SLOWLY TO THE TOP OF THE ROPE....JUMPING STOMP ON SABATELLI INTO THE STEPS! I DON'T BELIEVE SABATELLI IS GOING TO BE ABLE TO COMPETE ANYMORE! ALESSIA IS MAKING HER WAY TO THE RING! WHAT IS SHE GOING TO DO??

 

Alessia: You all may wonder why I never actually fulfilled my duties as a lawyer for this group.

 

Simon: Honestly that was the least of our questions but okay.

 

Alessia: I knew Saber was alive the whole time. And I knew what the mission was, and the ultimate goal to catch Tino.

 

Alessia throws a paper on Tino's crumpled body.

 

Alessia: Warrant for your arrest. And for the crimes on this list, I predict a life sentence. Take him out of here. 

 

Luis and Soldat carry the destroyed Tino Sabatelli out of the ring to boos. 

 

Alessia: Luis and I will still compete tonight, but under the team of the reformed Anti-System. 

 

The audience boos as Alessia and Black Saber walk out of the ring. 

 

Colin: Well, that...was something that just happened. I'm still not entirely sure what it was but I know we witnessed it.

 

Kendra: Apparently Schmetterling not showing up to the crossover event earlier and the death-not-death of Black Saber that same event are tied together? 

 

Simon: We could JFK this all night but we've still got more card to come and more uncovering to do, as next Scott Razor is in a handicap against the two goons who tried to jump him last week. 

 

Kendra: Apparently they both thought they were the one to do it, and Razor let em know what's what. 

 

 

Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a handicap match!

 

 

The cameras pan around Convention Hall in Asbury Park as the fans in attendance cheer in the excitement of being on TV. The lights in the arena progressively, but quickly dim until there is a slight darkness hanging over the arena. The opening riffs of “Wherever I May Roam” by Metallica begins to play from the speakers and plumes of smoke can be seen filling the centre of the stage.

 

The darkness remains through the intro, before the song drops and a spotlight shines on the center of the stage, revealing a silhouette of a man within the mist clutching a bat.

 

 

He lifts the bat and points it towards the ring, the tip of it emerging from the shroud. As the song picks up pace, he cuts through the smoke by swiping upwards and emerges from it, standing at the top of the stage as red and white lights weave their way around the crowd like serpents - who respond with feverish anticipation.

 

Ash: Introducing first, weighing in at 336 pounds, he is The Bully of Bullies - SCOOOOTTT RAAAAAZOOR!!

 

Kendra: Scott has been engaged in a war of the past for the past few weeks, a title has been cost as a result, and it remains to be seen what's in store for Scott here. 

 

He begins to stride forward towards the ring confidently with his bat hanging over his shoulder. He calmly walks up the ring steps, entering the ring and faces each side of the arena with his bat raised in the air, shouting ferociously. He finally turns to the front of the arena to wait for his opponent.

 

 

Two masked men enter the arena.

 

 

Ash: And his opponents-

 

Scott: Now hold on, hold on, stop the damn music. Apologies Ash, but I think we're all tired of the little Scooby Doo mystery game you two idiots have going on here.

 

The crowd cheers.

 

Scott: Now are you really that embarrassed to be in this match, where there's two of you and I'm still gonna beat your ass, that you won't even show your faces?

 

The two figures stand silent.

 

Scott: Do you two even know who the other is?

 

They peer at each other and shake their heads no. 

 

Scott: You're gonna work together not knowing who your partner is. Okay, that's not gonna work out for you two very well. You plannin' on steeling up your cojones and taking those masks off?

 

They shake their heads no.

 

Scott: So I'm gonna have to beat em off ya then. Alright. If you won't show your faces, just get in the damn ring and let's start this nonsense show. 

 

They slide in the ring and the bell rings.

 

Colin: And the two men throw Scott off the ropes, Scott comes back and absolutely devastates them with a double clothesline! I think he just flipped both men! One of them comes at him and he grabs them in a headlock! A series of right uppercuts! Here comes person 2 and a giant left stiff punch by Scott! The two men attempt to run on either side of the ropes to sandwich Scott with clotheslines and Scott slams em together! 

 

Kendra: The two of them still communicating non-verbally, looking at each other and they drive Scott down with a double vertical suplex! Off the ropes and Scott gets up in time to hit a double dropkick! Now they're working in tandem! Throwing Scott off the ropes and a double flapjack! Going for a pin-

 

1!

 

Colin: Scott kicks! He throws a haymaker to one of the guys and Uranage to the other one! He goes to uncover his mask and the first guy charges Scott with his own bat! Scott stumbles a bit, but now he's pissed. Mowing down the bat guy with a clothesline and going to try to uncover him.

 

Simon: You can't be this worried about their identity! Beat them first and then do the reveal! The guy he gave the Uranage to runs with a bulldog to drive Scott down. They're running a strong game, keeping Razor on a two front war. Going for a pin-

 

1!

 

Kendra: Scott kicks again. Man's not going down without a fight. Scott knows he has to separate them if he wants to have a shot at victory and he launches one guy out of the ring with a Guerilla Press! Turning his attention to other guy and One German! Two Germans! A whole dang Razor Trilogy!! And he pulls the mask off and-

 

 

Kendra: CHRISTIAN REED! IT'S CHRISTIAN REED!

 

Colin: You wanna talk about ghosts from the past, Slow went all out in dragging Scott's past in front of him and Scott actually looks shocked! Christian takes this opportunity to roll Scott up!

 

1!

2!

 

Simon: Christian's partner just pulled Christian off Scott!! Oh this whole thing is breaking down with a quickness. Christian shoves the masked man! The masked man shoves Christian back! They start getting into it with each other and trading blows! Scott can't help but be amused by this. Christian drills his own partner with a DDT! And off comes the mask and-

 

 

Colin: Cody Caster! It's Cody Caster! This makes a lot more sense.

 

Kendra: For all the oppo research that was done to set this up, you'd think though that it would have been made noticed that Cody and Christian hate each other more than they do Scott. 

 

Simon: This match just unofficially became a triple threat! 

 

Colin: What a full circle moment folks, Razor's last match back in DCW was this exact setup and now here they are again older but by no means wiser. 

 

Kendra: Cody absolutely blasts Christian with a superkick! Christian stumbles back and Cody clotheslines Christian out of the ring! Scott from behind and he locks Cody in the Razor Guillotine!!! Cody looks like he's going to pass out, Christian with a jumping elbow from the top rope Scott rolls Cody in front of it! Cody eats the elbow drop!! Scott rolls Christian up - 

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Scott Razor wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Ash: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, THE BULLY OF BULLIES....SCOTT RAZOR!

 

Kendra: Razor is known for his brutality but people underestimate his intelligence and ring savvy and they do so at their own peril. 

 

Simon: Twelve years ago, the triple threat match was a full-on throwdown between these three, but they were expecting it and also Cody and Christian were ring-ready. This is a much different scenario that we just saw, and it remains to be seen if Cody and Christian stick around, if they give more issues to Scott or what happens now.

 

Kendra: Well what's happening now is that Cody and Christian are battling each other into the back.

 

Colin: And we keep the party moving - next match is different from typical Steel Cage matches not so much in setup or win system but in the reasoning.

 

Kendra: Right, the cage isn't going to be invoked to prevent either fighter from gaining an advantage - they both respect each other - but to prevent them both from getting beaten down by Jay the Joker or La Sangre Maldita. 

 

 

Ash: The following contest is a Steel Cage Match and it is for the Inferno Title!

 

 

Swathed in Blue Light, Manta Ray jumps onto the stage, then runs to the ring high-fiving the fans.

 

 

Ash: First, the challenger! From Profundidas del Mar, weighing in at 185 pounds, MANTA RAY!

 

Kendra: Manta Ray has really been making the rounds, doing the talk shows, doing the charity work, really making a concerted effort to be one of the biggest faces of MAWL but in an ambassador rather than an egotist way.

 

Simon: If you ask me the kid's trying too hard and it's just getting him on the radar of all the wrong people. Like you were saying Kendra, the cage is more to keep outsiders out, and the people you've listed have had their eyes on Manta specifically.

 

Colin: It can be stated though that Black Saber's return means that Anarchy's eyes have to watch the door a little too.

 

 

White sparks rain down over the entrance as Ace Anarchy bursts onto the stage. The crowd goes absolutely bananas.

 

 

Ash: And, the INFERNO CHAMPION, from the Outback, Australia, weighing 225 pounds, the Thunder from Down Under, AAAAACE AAAAAANARCHY! 

 

The screen behind him fills with falling ‘Joker’ playing cards, which ignite to reveal an anarchy symbol. As his theme song hits, red and white strobe lights flash in sync with the rhythm. Ace Anarchy throws his arms up, singing along behind his mask.

 

Colin: This battle is less a battle of good and evil and more a battle of demographic. Manta's fans tend to skew a little younger than Anarchy's, and more family friendly. Still, these two men have the utmost respect for each other.

 

The fans go absolutely bananas. He bounces down the ramp, high-fiving and fist-bumping fans before sliding into the ring, ready for action. He shakes Manta's hand and gives him a hug and a nod. They separate and go to their corners.

 

The bell rings. 

 

Kendra: Beautiful show of sportsmanship at the top of the match, and now that's all gotta go out the window. Ace with a running boot to Manta pushing him against the ropes, Manta springs back and into Ace's arms for a snap powerslam! Picking Manta up and into a ripcord side suplex! 

 

Colin: The champ is known for keeping the pressure on, keeping it intense and consistent and this is no different. Ace with a couple of forearm shots and going for a spinning spinebuster OH that spin gave Manta some space to get himself situated with Manta gets his torso freed, does a sit up into a DDT! 

 

Kendra: If anyone ever asks you why situps are important, just show them this clip.

 

Simon: Manta taking a run now and rolling thunder senton! And a backflip double knee! LOOK AT THE DUDE GO, SPRINGBOARD DOUBLE ROTATION MOONSAULT! 

 

Colin: You have to have such command of your body to be able to get two flips in with that little air AND land the move accurately. Going for the pin-

 

1!

 

Simon: And Ace kicks. In a steel cage match you CAN win by Pinfall or Submission, or you can get yourself out of Dodge. The second is by far the riskier and a lot of people don't try to go that way. 

 

Kendra: Escaping is I think more the smart route if you're in a match against someone who has no problem continuing to destroy you after the bell. But that's a more risk outside the cage than inside for these two. 

 

Colin: Ace coming in with the State of Decay!! MANTA JUMPS IT AND ACE GOES CRASHING INTO THE CAGE WALL! Manta hits a German Suplex and a bridge pin from behind!

 

1!

 

Simon: He's trying too hard to end this match, Anarchy is much more resilient than that and it's going to take more of a beating to get him down. 

 

Kendra: Anarchy to his feet and Superkick to Manta! That'll send him rolling! 

 

Simon: Manta's bell's been rung! He's trying to get to his feet and Anarchy taking another run at him, Manta jumps what he THINKS will be another State of Decay and it's a Running Spinebuster!! That leapfrog actually hurt Manta! Anarchy going for a slingshot and OH MANTA CATCHES HIMSELF ON THE TOP ROPE WITH A HANDSTAND AND PROPELS HIMSELF INTO A TILT-A-WHIRL HEADSCISSORS! HOT DAMN!

 

Colin: Manta lands on his feet but Ace is perfectly positioned for a release German Suplex!! Release German AND MANTA LANDS ON HIS FEET, MANTA DUCKS THE SUPERKICK GOES RUNNING AND INTO A DOWN WITH THE SYSTEM! ACE ANARCHY MAY HAVE JUST PINNED THIS ONE DOWN! 

 

Simon: Ace could go for the pin right now, he's going instead for the climb! Ace Anarchy starting to make his ascent up the cage OH MY MANTA IS STIRRING MANTA TO HIS FEET TAKING A HUGE RUN BACKWARDS AND SPRINGBOARDS HIMSELF UP TO ACE ANARCHY AND SPIDER SUPLEXES ACE ANARCHY OFF THE WALL!!! WHAT A BRILLIANT BUT RISKY AS HELL MOVE BY MANTA RAY AND HE'S CONSIDERING THE CLIMB OH ACE ANARCHY BACK TO HIS FEET AND MANTA DOESN'T WANT TO RISK BEING PULLED DOWN PHOENIX SPLASH OFF THE CELL AND KNOCKS ANARCHY TO THE GROUND!!! WHAT!!!

 

Kendra: What an absolute banger this is turning out to be!

 

"This is awesome!" chants emanate from the audience. 

 

Colin: Both men absolutely flattened on the ground from this exchange, normally this is where Andra would start the count but that's not happening this go round.

 

Kendra: Can you believe the chaos that is happening here?? And it looks like Ace is going to get to his feet first! Ace going over to cover Manta and Manta rolls him up!

 

1!

2!

 

Simon: Ace Anarchy kicks! Ace pulls Manta up and sends him off the ropes, Ace taking a run in the opposite direction and State of Dec-NO! MANTA REVERSES INTO A DDT AND HE'S WRAPPING ACE ANARCHY UP IN THE REEF KNOT!! 

 

Colin: State of Decay is a great move against an opponent who's bigger and has a better center of gravity, but it's a much smaller moving target in this case! Wait a minute - THERE'S COMMOTION OUTSIDE THE CELL!

 

 

Kendra: Superstar Davy Boy has a huge super soaker! And he is just DOUSING MANTA RAY! That's one way to break the hold!

 

Simon: Did La Sangre Maldita just cost Manta the belt?? 

 

Colin: Superstar Davy Boy taunting Manta, he's convinced he can't get him.

 

Kendra: One thing that Davy Boy isn't taking to account though.

 

Simon: What's that?

 

Kendra: How one wins this match. Ace Anarchy is passed out and Manta I don't even think is thinking about the belt right now, he takes a giant run back and leaps onto the cell wall, cutting the climb time in half! Manta is getting there MANTA IS AT THE TOP OF THE CELL GOOD LORD SHOOTING STAR DOWN INTO THE CUTTER ON SUPERSTAR DAVY BOY! HE JUST HIT DAVY BOY WITH STING RAY'S VENOM SPIKE!! HE ALSO JUST WON THE MATCH AND I DON'T THINK HE'S EVEN REGISTERED THAT!

 

Simon: This is the most backfiring backfire in the history of backfires!!

 

Colin: He's got his eyes on Sangre Maldita right now and adrenaline is carrying his bones!

 

Manta Ray wins by exiting the cell!

 

Ding ding ding!

 

Ash: Here is your winner-

 

Simon: Manta is just starting to register where he is and what just happened...

 

Ash: AND NEEEEEW INFERNO CHAMPION! 

 

Kendra: MANTA IS COMPLETELY SHOCKED! SUPERSTAR DAVY BOY IS COMPLETELY FLABBERGASTED!

 

 

Kendra: Ace Anarchy is also just registering what just happened!

 

Ash: MAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTA RAAAAAAAAAAAY!

 

Manta debates between chasing Davy Boy and getting his belt, and he walks with a tear or two in his eye towards the belt, high fiving fans along the way.

 

Colin: Ace Anarchy has had the most successful defense streak of possibly anyone on the active roster, and he lost the belt today due to some La Sangre Maldita shenanigans. 

 

Kendra: Not only did La Sangre Maldita help one of their enemies, they just made another one. Ace Anarchy is NOT happy. 

 

Simon: Manta celebrating with the fans and he sees Ace Anarchy getting to his feet. Manta seems a bit unsure what's going to happen. 

 

Colin: Ace making his way to the cage door and Manta's joy is turning into nerves real quick.

 

Kendra: The fight or flight response is there and Manta starting to make his way, Ace motions him over and nods. I wouldn't know what to do with Ace Anarchy right now if I were Manta.

 

Colin: I'm not sure I'd get too close. Manta though is braver than I...and Ace Anarchy gives Manta a hug! He raises Manta's arm and Manta pumps his free arm with the belt in victory! WHAT A SHOW OF SPORTSMANSHIP!

 

Simon: In beating Ace for the title, Manta's actually gained an ally in his fight against La Sangre Maldita!! The crowds are giving a standing ovation!! WHAT A SHOW!!

 

The crowd chants "MANTANARCHY!" with rhythmic claps. Manta helps Ace Anarchy to the back. 

 

Kendra: And we need to take a look at what went down here.

 

The replay of the counter into the Reef Knot, the Water Gun, the Cell Run, and the Venom Spike play over Kendra's narration.

 

Kendra (OS): The match turning point was the second beaten attempt at the State of Decay Spear, which Manta Ray was able to fashion into his Reef Knot. It looked like Manta had the match won here, until Superstar Davy Boy broke his hold with a Super Soaker. This awoke something in Manta Ray who took an insane leap halfway up the cage and dropped Superstar Davy Boy with his cousin Steve's finisher from atop the cage structure, accidentally winning the match anyway. 

 

Colin: It's not often you get an accidental title win.

 

Kendra: That's Pay Per View life, Bay-Bee.

 

Simon: The cranes are trading the 15 foot cage out for the 20 foot cell as our next match redefines the concept of "Boss Battle." If Elisa wins, she is the new CEO. If Leila wins, Elisa remains a GM that actually has to answer to Leila, the board's order of succession is dismantled so that no one has an immediate claim to CEO, and she loses all her protection perks such as Team SuperStarz. 

 

Colin: She's a scheming Susan though, so I would have simply fired Elisa. That's just me. 

 

Kendra: I see the play here. The board is full of former CEOs who have been very clear about their desire to return to power, and Elisa Mae could just ruin that for them right here and now.

 

 

Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and will be contested inside the Hell in a Cell!

 

 

Leila Blake comes out to some applause.

 

 

Ash: From Detroit, Michigan, the CEO, Leila Blake!

 

Leila enters the ring and takes off her jacket to reveal her wrestling singlet that reads "Blake Superior." 

 

 

Elisa Mae is carried out by litter bearers while she enjoys her brandy and cigar. The crowd boos.

 

 

Ash: And her opponent, from the Top of the Pecking Order, the Madness General Manager, E.M. He!

 

The crowd boos as the litter bearers remove Elisa's jacket to reveal a gold singlet designed somewhat like a suit, with EM in black serif letters where the lapel would be. 

 

The bell rings.

 

Colin: If you didn't catch the W2, you may forget that Leila Blake actually knows how to throw down in the ring. These two were part of a Fatal Four Way for this exact reason and now here we are 4 months later, back in the cell. And Leila sure enough locks EM's head tight, running bulldog! 

 

Kendra: But we have a much different Elisa in the ring this time, she shed her innocence for power and she prevents the bulldog from finishing pushing Leila into the turnbuckles! She wraps her legs over Leila's throat and spiders over! Andra counts-

 

1! 2! 3!

 

Simon: She cartwheels away from the hold! What command of her body!! Under the ring and a lead pipe! Back on the apron and jumps from the turnbuckle, lead pipe shot to the head of Leila! EM holds her down and she's choking her out with the pipe! She's got Leila Flailing!! You can call her FLAILA! 

 

Colin: Dude. That was bad. 

 

Kendra: Leila looks to be in real trouble but she hits a monkey flip and is able to get EM off her. Leila off the ropes and a jumping double knee! Leila with some mounted punches and gets an armbar in. EM struggling to the ropes, Leila yanks her back but EM with a flip and reverses the armbar! She's going for a full wrench-Leila pulls her into a Bitter End!! Going for a pin-

 

1!

2!

 

Simon: EM kicks! Throwing Leila across the pond now and hitting her with a high knee! Leila pushed back and Inverted DDT by EM! EM with a face wash and the crowd hates her. She's not going to let that bother her though and leg drop!! Going for the cover-

 

1!

 

Colin: Leila kicks out, ripcord to EM and Olympic Slam!! Leila is going up to the middle rope and a Bionic Elbow! Unbelievable! 

 

Kendra: Alastor pointed something out earlier and it's relevant now that Elisa Mae, way back before she started Ring the Belle, was a seasoned wrestler herself, Ellie Mae Marvel. Her finisher, the Maeflower, was a pretty solid submission that got the crowd going and she'd do well to tap into that part of herself but she's so committed to avoiding her past that she may actually be hampering her ring abilities. 

 

Colin: You are on to something. The main ring difference between Leila and Elisa right now is that Leila is allowing herself to use her entire skill set. Leila with a bridging headlock and Elisa is struggling! Elisa going for the eyes and she's not just raking, she's sticking her fingernails into Leila's eyes! Leila screams in pain! 

 

Kendra: And Elisa just beating on the chest of Leila as she does this, just weakening her down, and she transitions her hands to the Million Dollar Dream NO LEILA SALIDA DEL SOL! GOING FOR THE PIN-

 

1!

2!

 

Simon: Elisa kicks! EM goes for a running boot, Leila rolls under and pulls EM's leg with her! EM to the ground and Leila gets the legs around, locks in a Sharpshooter!!

 

Colin: You can say what you want about Leila Blake, and honestly a lot of it is well earned criticism, but the woman loves this business and clearly takes it seriously. She could be out here pulling some Executive tricks and instead she's mixing it up. EM rolls it up into a pin!

 

1!

2!

 

Kendra: Leila kicks! EM is pissed! EM hammer throws Leila out of the ring, and Leila's body rebounds on the cell! EM pushes Leila's face against the metal with her knee!! EM really looks like she's enjoying this!

 

Simon: People were saying that EM is only playing at being the villain but I think she's actually grown to relish it. There's no sign of Ellie Mae Marvel in those eyes at all. She may have succeeded in destroying her past, and now she's looking to destroy the present in order to rebuild the future. And solid elbow strikes against Leila running her head into that cell structure! And an inverted Suplex they have no room to clear that!! OOH HER LEGS BOUNCE AGAINST THE APRON! ELISA MAE GOING UNDER THE APRON AND CHAIRS AGAINST THE LEGS! ANOTHER CHAIR SHOT AGAINST THE LEGS! LEILA WRENCHES IN PAIN!

 

Colin: Just absolute brutality by He! Swings back and SLAMS THOSE LEGS AGAIN WITH THE CHAIR! He clearly trying to prevent Blake from hitting that Double Rotation Moonsault we saw her use back in January to ultimately keep the company in her control.

 

Kendra: It's an effective strategy, and He is executing it with devastating precision as she grabs Leila by the legs and drags her up to the ring post. She takesherlegsTOTHEPOSTANDSLAMSTHEMONEITHERSIDE! 

 

Colin: I don't think Leila's gonna be able to use her legs enough to propel that double moonsault! 

 

Simon: Hell I'd be surprised if she could use her legs at this point. 

 

The audience begins to sing "Cotton Eye Joe". Elisa grabs a microphone.

 

Elisa: SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!! You wanna song? YOU WANNA SONG?

 

The audience boos. Elisa smirks and sings this next part not only on key but actually really good with surprising burlesque roar and intensity, alternating knees that she runs into the poles between lines-

 

Elisa: LEEEEEEEEILA! [Smash] I got you on your knees Leila [Smash] Ignoring your pleas Leila [Smash] Just give MAWL to me and it's done [BIG SMASH]

 

Colin: Damn. I didn't know she could sing. 

 

Kendra: She's from Texas, ripping burlesque culture is in the fabric there. 

 

Simon: That was full femme fatale and honestly I'm here for it. 

 

Colin: She wraps up the legs nice and tight and reaches over the ropes....OH! SHE IS DOING AN STF AROUND THE CORNER!! THE ROPES MEANS THAT LEILA CAN'T SUBMIT HERE BUT IT'S A REAL SMART MOVE!

 

Kendra: MAWL ACTUALLY MAY GO TO ELISA! I shudder to think what will happen if this continues on this-

 

The titantron starts to flare up-

 

 

The titantron plays footage of Ellie Mae Marvel - Elisa Mae at 18-19 - doing a Wonder Woman pose which turns into the line dance hip swivel with a big smile on her face, followed by image of her in the ring with a Countrified Superhero outfit. This causes Elisa Mae to drop the hold as both she and Leila stare gap jawed.

 

Kendra: This...is...amazing.

 

Colin: We are witnessing what must have been Elisa Mae's beginnings in the wrestling world. This is truly uncanny. 

 

Simon: I am in shook. 

 

The titantron cuts then to podcast studio show Lung Ho about..Gung Ho Wrestling? These guys again?

 

 

Valerie: And we're back. Remember to use those promo codes to get 10 percent off at BrownBib. I'm here now with our newest signing, this is particularly exciting as she's the youngest person I think to enter our arena. Straight from Jasper, Texas, I'm so happy to have the Broadcast Bettie Jo here. Hi Bettie!

 

 

Colin (OC): I don't know if I love where this is going.

 

Bettie: Oh my god hi, this is really cool and such a dream. Thanks for having me.

 

Valerie: Of course, and congratulations on signing with Gung Ho! I know that you just turned 16, do you have any concerns about life path-

 

Bettie: I actually graduated high school early, and I'm gonna be doing online college when I'm not training or fighting, I'm thinkin' about getting my degree in journalism so it's so cool to be sittin' here with you watchin' you do this. 

 

Valerie: Of course and I don't mean to sound mean but I'm sure this is gonna come up in less friendly spaces, your aunt is the GM of Madness and so naturally-

 

Bettie: People are gonna think I'm nepo.

 

Valerie: Right.

 

Bettie: I thought about it. Course. It ain't easy followin' in the footsteps of a generation 'specially not one as storied as Ellie Mae Marvel-

 

Valerie: I see you're one step along the way.

 

Bettie: (laughing) Course. Yeah I wear her boots to hold a piece o'her close, I been watchin' that MAWL and I wanna believe that my auntie Ellie who used ta give me airplane rides that she's still in there. But she don't even know I'm doin' this, I ain't heard from her in a minute. So no she had nothin' to do with me bein' here and I dunno how she'd react if she did see me. I hope good. I hope it brings back some o' that love she been missin'. Course she could also try an' hide an' bury me, as she seem to all of us, but then I'm a fighter, always habbin, so I'ma get in that ring and do what I do with or without her blessin'. 

 

Valerie: So how did you learn about an opening with us?

 

Bettie: One o' the MAWL scouts called me directly. Said he name was Raymond Dio. I di'n ask. We had a good chat 'bout radio an' I was like oh that's funny your name's like Radio an' you like Radio, he seemed pretty strange an' ol' school but in an interestin' way, you know, an' he said there was an openin' here an' a possibility of bein' on his show or maybe Madness down the line if I came in an' put in the work. So here-

 

The broadcast cuts. Elisa Mae over the course of this all has had a harder and harder time holding in her emotions and now is in the ring sobbing.

 

Elisa: Damn you. Damn you Alastor. I accept your goddamn terms. Just make it stop. Just make it-

 

The arena is silent for a moment except for Elisa's sobbing tears. Leila slowly makes her way over to Elisa.

 

Kendra: And that is a woman whose soul has been shattered into a million pieces, who tried so hard to run from a world that actually loved her to give herself a leg up, and she now has had to come face to face with the real human toll she has caused. 

 

Simon: And you have to give it to Leila, she's over there in the middle of this going to extend her sympathies to Elisa. This may be the beginning of healing. And they embrace. It's a very sweet and tender moment, and the war may be-

 

Colin: Leila is lifting up Elisa up in a torture rack!! She's LINE DANCING!!! The arm motions are serving as wrenches!! Could this...SHE JUST LOCKED THE MAEFLOWER IN ON ELISA MAE!!! 

 

 

Kendra: I don't like Elisa but THAT was a cheap shot. 

 

Colin: Elisa Mae...was a minute from possible redemption...

 

Elisa Mae lets out a BLOOD CURDLING scream! She flails around, tantrumming in the arms of Blake. Andra takes this as tapping and calls for the bell!

 

Leila Blake wins by submission!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner AND STILL CEO OF MAWL, LEEEEILA BLAAAKE!

 

Simon: That arc did not bend towards justice, that's for sure. But Leila Blake did what she had to do. She was not here to cleanse Elisa Mae's soul. She was here to keep the company in her name and that's exactly what she did. No one on the board will ever sit where she sits now. Elisa Mae has ruined all of that and Leila has kept consistency in the company.

 

Colin: I think the question now is, does Elisa Mae's deal stick? She no longer has independent authority to execute company missives. Everything has to go through Leila.

 

Kendra: Apparently that one got in under the buzzer. Had Elisa Mae held her tongue just a little bit longer she could have really Rumpled Alastor's Siltskin, but that's why he's the sickening best at what he does. He knew exactly where and when to turn the knife. 

 

Simon: Elisa is still in the ring, and she is crazy-eyed, hair messed, and heavy breathing. This is a villain origin story on top of her already villain origin story. This is how supervillains get made.

 

Elisa: This... (angry panting) isn't over. (angry panting) I may not have... the company.. (angry panting)...but Leila Blake (heavy panting)...your family....is....MINE.

 

Elisa stares unflinching into the camera, with Goldberg level breathing, as she drops the mic and storms out.

 

Colin: Family? Leila doesn't have any kids and ohhhh her niece. 

 

Kendra: Her niece?

 

Colin: Yeah her niece wrestles here. In fact, she's in the Danger Room tonight. She's been trying to hide the fact and go on her own. 

 

Kendra: But we still have a few matches to go before we even get there.

 

 

Ash: The following contest is a Next Level Match and it is for the Trios Title! The teams of three will be divided at random to the three levels. When the level only has one person remaining, that person can go to either of the other levels to help their teammates. The match will end when only one team has members remaining!

 

Kendra: Joining Andra Jones refereeing the action in the bottom, we've got Erica Lance in the middle and GHW's Niall McDonagh up top.

 

 

Colin: Because there are 12 teams, the entrances are going to be shortened a bit, but you'll get a chance to at least see them comin'. 

 

 

Ash: Out first, the Trios Champions, Jaguar King, Lionheart, and Victor Kingston, the ANIMALITIES!

 

 

Simon: The champs are truly insane to put themselves through this again. 

 

Victor Kingston moves to the top level, Lionheart to the middle, and Jaguar King to the bottom.

 

 

Ash: Next! The team of Pen Gwen, Petey Peacock, and Paulie Parrot, the Birds of Play!

 

 

Colin: I like their new theme better, much more energetic, but they're very much at a disadvantage with not much room to fly around.

 

Pen Gwen goes to the top level, Petey Peacock to the middle, and Paulie Parrot to the bottom.

 

 

Ash: The team of Bowen Baneclaw, Donna Matrix, and Diana Dresden, Venom Cartel! 

 

 

Diana Dresden goes to the top level, Bowen Baneclaw to the middle, and Donna Matrix to the bottom.

 

 

Ash: Team Captain Tyler Hayes, Ty "Neon" Sky Lancer, and Screech!

 

 

Kendra: In these trios matches there are always bound to be teams held together with sticky glue. Ty and Tyler have had a pretty good record together but Screech is a wild card, not so much in talent which he has but in cohesion. Won't matter for this match but if they win they have to defend. 

 

Screech goes to the top level, Ty "Neon Sky" to the middle, and Tyler Hayes to the bottom.

 

 

Ash: The team of The Fabulous Matt, The Mysterious Steve, and Indigo - the Magic Bus!

 

 

Colin: Apparently, they're from Tumbleweed Springs in Arizona, and they've "got a few tricks up their sleeve." Ugh.

 

The Fabulous Matt goes to the top level, The Mysterious Steve goes to the middle, and Indigo goes to the bottom.

 

 

Ash: The team of Jay the Joker, Harley Quinn, and Uncle Insamity!

 

 

Colin: And the choice is being made for Harley to be compete in this match, which is more than a little surprising, did he not have Stitches' number?

 

Kendra: Not enough space for balloons.

 

Uncle Insamity goes to the top level, Jay the Joker goes to the middle, and Harley Quinn goes to the bottom. 

 

 

Ash: Representing Zora Luthor International, Lucenza Rossi, Cassandra Cash, and Bianca Diaz!!

 

 

Colin: It's been a bit since Cash has been in the ring, let's see if she still has what it takes.

 

Bianca Diaz enters the top level, Cassandra Cash the middle, and Lucenza Rossi the bottom.

 

 

Ash: Tank Vanguard and the team of Hammer and Pistol, the DOOMSAYERS!

 

 

Simon: Think they'll let Tank join?

 

Colin: I guess that depends on how they do here. 

 

Hammer goes to the top level, Pistol to the middle, and Tank to the bottom.

 

 

Ash: Representing the Bored, Dina the Denier Dorwart, G. Grant Harris III, and Red Tape Terry Brant! 

 

 

Kendra: It seems a bit weird that a team that's all about Standards and Practices and boring matches would be in something like this.

 

Colin: Well they're clearly not happy about it, but they're here.

 

G. Grant Harris III goes to the top level, Red Tape Terry Brant to the middle, and Dina the Denier Dorwart to the bottom.

 

 

Ash: Representing Psycho Supremacy, Bloodswan, Tides of Time, and Rufus Reeve!

 

 

Simon: Apparently Jassy advocated with the higher ups...this match was going to be 10 teams and she advocated for it to be 12, adding the Psycho Supremacy to the mix and one other. 

 

Colin: She didn't choose the other, but she's out here trying to support her team even as she's felt less than supported by them. 

 

Simon: Not to cause problems but where's Nero been in all this? You'd think the Psycho Supreme would be leading the Psycho Supremacy. 

 

Rufus Reeve goes to the top level, Tides to the middle, and Bloodswan to the bottom.

 

Kendra: And out comes...or I guess out returns...the 10th team.

 

 

Ash: Returning to action... The Middle East North Star Hoy Sumer, and the team of Good Dude Greg Arias and the Pride of Portland Devon Delight....JOY ADDITION!

 

 

Colin: THEY'RE BACK AND THE FANS ARE ECSTATIC!! And they haven't lost their smiles. 

 

Good Dude Greg Arias goes to the top level, Devon Delight to the middle, and Hoy Sumer to the bottom.

 

Kendra: And now all that remains is the mystery team...

 

 

Ash: And finally! The team of Danielle Fishel, Melissa Joan Hart, and Jodie Sweetin, T.G.I.F!

 

 

The fans boo mercilessly.

 

Simon: The fans don't love this mystery team. Feels like it could have gone to real wrestlers. 

 

Colin: Could be worse. Could have been Machine Gun Kelly or Travis Scott. 

 

Kendra: I'm all for more women in the ring but do these three know how to wrestle?

 

Colin: Colin: Danielle Fishel qualified for Heart Condition in 2025. The other two...it remains to be seen.

 

Simon: I guess we're gonna find out!

 

Ding ding ding!

 

Colin: We've got three levels of action to cover for you and we're gonna do this best we can. Everyone circling each other, no one wants to be the first one to start the ruckus. OH! HARLEY QUINN WITH THE BAT TO THE HEAD OF JAGUAR KING STARTS THE MATCH! SHE ALREADY ROLLS HIM UP!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Jaguar King is eliminated by Harley Quinn!

 

Colin: First blow of the match already resulting in an elimination putting the champs at an early disadvantage! And that answers the question if Harley is battle ready!

 

Simon: Up top G. Grant Harris III with a punch to the jaw of Screech, enough force to spin the kid around and the wheel lands on Bianca Diaz, Screech sets Diaz up for a suplex and The Fabulous Matt joins him in making the impact shake the top level!

 

Kendra: We have action in the middle as Devon Delight hits the Mysterious Steve with a single leg dropkick and that lit the fuse, the middle is alive! 

 

Simon: So I guess we're dividing up the levels for now?

 

Colin: As the main report, yeah until the numbers dwindle down a bit, but we can share insights with each other. Down at the bottom, Indigo swings her hair around to whip 90s Darling Jodie Sweetin in the face and immediately following that up with a roundhouse kick! Wait turn around Tyler Hayes mows down Indigo with a clothesline! And he's keeping the arm out and building up speed, positively flips Bloodswan with that same clothesline! That's being efficient!

 

Kendra: Neon Sky been takin' a run and into the handspring and a devastating Cutter to Baneclaw! Ohhh and Cassandra Cash there to catch him on the landing into a huge backbreaker! With this many people in the ring, you can't assume you're going to land on your feet at any point.

 

Simon: Hammer absolutely blasting Good Dude Greg Arias with that Wrecking Ball big boot! Not the welcome I think Greg was expecting. G. Grant Harris with a devastating G-Drive...what he used to call the Gemini Buster...to Victor Kingston! And he's going for the pin!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Victor Kingston is eliminated by G. Grant Harris III!

 

Kendra: And that already puts the champs at a significant disadvantage! Lionheart now has to hold it down for them! And he's doing what he can in there, throwing hooks every which way and OH Mysterious Steve has Pistol coming off the ropes and we know it as the Tour of the Islands but he calls it of course the Magical Mystery Tour and Pistol hits the mat with magical monster truck force! Going for the pin - 

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Pistol is eliminated by The Mysterious Steve!

 

Colin: That's gotta hurt the ego of the Doomsayers, and Tank watching Pistol leave as he has Dina the Denier up in that vertical suplex. What a flex to watch something happen and just keep someone waiting like this. Aaaand down Dina goes. DONNA MATRIX AVALANCHE CODE RED TO JODIE SWEETIN, SHE CALLS IT HER REDPILL, AND THAT'S ANOTHER ONE PACKING UP-

 

1!

2!

 

Colin: JODIE SWEETIN KICKS! OUR FIRST KICK OUT WASN'T EVEN A WRESTLER! 

 

Kendra: How embarrassing must it be for Jaguar King, Victor Kingston, AND Pistol to know that some 90s celebrity did what they couldn't? 

 

Simon: These women came to play.

 

Kendra: Jay the Joker whipping Lancer off the ropes and Lancer with the reversal! Double knee strike!! Going for a pin but Joker says no and Petey Peacock accents that with a jumping front kick to Lancer.

 

Simon: Almost like Sweetin reminded our wrestlers that they don't have to take this match lying down. Hammer has Insamity in that Torture Rack and OH NO LIFTING DESTRUCTION! HE GOES FOR THE PIN AND INSAMITY ALSO SAYS NO. And Harris lifts Hammer right up from the pin attempt and launches him with a German Suplex! Hammer lands on his head and no nail to make it worthwhile!

 

Colin: Lucenza with a Fisherman Suplex to Donna Matrix! And a second one! And a little fist drop to flourish. She's come into her own since joining ZLI, I hate to admit but I can't deny.

 

Kendra: Please don't start a rap career. And Terry Brant has Cassandra Cash up in the vertical hold...oh he's stalling....stalllling...And the Spike Piledriver!! He calls that the Bureaucracy-4! The Pin-

 

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Cassandra Cash is eliminated by Red Tape Terry Brant!

 

Kendra: And it's gonna be no rest for Erica Lance, Bowen has Tides of Time up and Electric Chair Driver!!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Tides of Time is eliminated by Bowen Baneclaw!

 

Colin: Indigo with a Flatliner to Harley, and a bit of sleight of hand Indigo has Harley's bat! She cracks Tank across the face with it!! And before Tank goes down she cracks him from the other side!! It's Magic! 

 

Simon: Arias has scaled the cell wall! This is wild...and a MOONSAULT SPLASH HE GETS BIANCA, GRANT, AND MATT!! THREE-FOR-ONE DEAL! Matt up first and huge running powerslam with Arias! Matt follows up with a Discus Lariat to Insamity! Fishel with a spinning back elbow to Screech, Screech spins around into a tilt-a-whirl headscissors by Pen Gwen! Gwen back up and double dropkick with Bianca to Insamity! 

 

Colin: Hoy Sumer with a knee shot to Lucenza Rossi, and going for a run at Dina the Denier who predictably denies Hoy by way of Spinebuster! Hoy undeterred up and step up enziguiri to Donna! 

 

Kendra: Devon going for a roll pin to Jay the Joker but no count before Joker gets up. Terry throwing a pair of stiff punches to Mysterious Steve tumbling him back a bit and Lionheart catches into...you can call it Razor's Edge, Outsiders Edge, etcetera...he calls it Lionize! Steve rolls back and trips Devon in the process, Lionheart runs up and Lionsault to Steve! He's the last member of the team and he's holding it down!

 

Colin: Bloodswan to the top rope and BLOODSWANTON BOMB TO PAULIE PARROT! Going for the pin -

 

1!

2!

 

Colin: Parrot kicks! Tank blasts Lucenza Rossi with the Spinebuster!! Going for a pin attempt but no pin. Bloodswan pirouettes and a jête...SWAN SONG KNEE TO DONNA MATRIX - 

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Donna Matrix is eliminated by Bloodswan!

 

Simon: Grant absolutely devastates Diana Dresden with a powerbomb! Insamity with a headbutt to The Fabulous Matt and Grant catches Matt into a powerbomb!! Diana to her feet and Rufus nails her with the Masquerade Spinning DDT!! Going for the pin-

 

Diana Dresden is eliminated by Rufus Reeve!

 

Simon: Psycho Supremacy finally living up to their name! And Insamity takes Hammer to the top rope...Argentine Backbreaker...Spinning Psycho Driver! AMERICAN PSYCHO! 

 

1!

2!

 

Simon: Hammer kicks!! 

 

Kendra: Melissa Joan Hart with an Airplane Spin Facebuster on Jay the Joker!!! The X-PLANE!!! MJH goes for the pin- NO-Joker reverses!

 

1!

 

Kendra: Melissa Joan kicks! Neon Sky quick kick to Petey Parrot, and Terry locks Devon Delight into a sleeper! 

 

Colin: Paulie hits the dropkick to Tank Vanguard! Tank stutters back, but spins around and Concussive Blast to Dina the Denier!! Dina rolls away from a leg drop by Tank and locks him into a Camel Clutch!! 

 

Kendra: Joker Irish Whips Lionheart into the corner, and Stink Face!! Joker keeps up with a foot choke! Hart hits Neon Sky with a Russian Leg Sweep. Petey Rides the Crest with a European Uppercut to Joker and Military Press!!! INTO THE FRONT SLAM!!! PLUMAGE PRESS!!! Joker railed against the ground!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Jay the Joker is eliminated by Petey Parrot!

 

Simon: Screech with the Samoan Drop on Gwen!! Matt hits Danielle Fishel with a short arm lariat and gets her with an elbow drop! Screech tries to catch Matt on the way up with a headlock but Matt reverses into a back body drop! 

 

Colin: Tank makes it to the rope and breaks the Camel Clutch! Hoy is in the wrong place at the wrong time and eats a clothesline by Tank as he gets to his feet! Bloodswan RUSSIAN SICKLE DISCUS LARIAT TO TYLER HAYES!! HE FLIPS OVER HER ARM AND SHE GOES FOR THE COVER-

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Tyler Hayes is eliminated by Bloodswan!

 

Simon: Bianca Diaz throwing a quick elbow to Danielle Fishel and spinning jumping roundhouse to Uncle Insamity! Screech whacks Grant with a Bicycle Kick right into the arms of Bianca Diaz who gets him with a full nelson suplex! 

 

Colin: Hoy Sumer throws a punch to Harley Quinn! Paulie with a Spinning Backstabber to Jodie Sweetin! POLLY CRACKER! Going for the pin-

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Jodie Sweetin is eliminated by Paulie Parrot!

 

Kendra: Lionheart scooping Neon Sky up for a tremendous high angle backbreaker! And Devon comes from behind with a bulldog to Lionheart! Neon Sky gets an opportunity to get up, and Tornillo to Lionheart! And Shooting Star Press!!! Neon Sky completes the Laser Loop!! He's got the fans going MELISSA JOAN HART WITH A RUNNING ELBOW DROP ON LIONHEART! SHE'S SNIPING NEON SKY'S KILL!

 

1!

2!

3!

Lionheart is eliminated by Melissa Joan Hart!

 

Kendra: THE CHAMPS ARE DONE! We are guaranteed new champions! Neon Sky flabbergasted and distracted by Hart's snipe, Steve capitalizes and Irish Whips Neon Sky off the ropes, and the Magical Mystery Tour!! Going for a pin, but Neon Sky kicks out before a count and jumps right up to step-up enziguiri to Melissa Joan Hart, Terry Brant grabs Neon Sky before he hits the ground and Backbreaker! TWO Backbreaker! THREE BACKBREAKER! He just wrecked him in Triplicate!! And the pin-

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Ty Neon Sky Lancer is eliminated by Red Tape Terry Brant!

 

Kendra: The middle cell is half-emptied! 

 

Colin: Lucenza with a snap jab to Harley and Indigo with a snap jab to Hoy, Tank following Indigo with a headbutt to Hoy and he's going for a cover but no pin and Tank gets a basement dropkick to the face by Paulie for his troubles! Indigo with the Sawbox Spear to Rossi!!!

 

Simon: Rufus driving Hammer to the ground with a clothesline. Double-team punch by Diaz and Gwen to Danielle Fishel. Grant hits Rufus in the back of the head with a double axe handle! Fishel with an Atomic Drop to Screech, turns back around to stare down Diaz and Gwen...oh, this is an uncomfortable stare-off, what are Diaz and Gwen going to do...GWEN HURACANRANAS DIAZ INTO FISHEL'S ARMS AND FISHEL WITH A BACKBREAKER! 

 

Kendra: Bowen absolutely blasting Devon with that Russian Leg Sweep! MJ steps on Devon's nuts and low blows Bowen! That'll get your attention!

 

Colin: Bloodswan with a 360 degree jumping axe kick to Hoy Sumer! That could have taken his head clean off! Rossi with a float-over neckbreaker to Paulie Parrot! Paulie rolls off and to the corner, Hoy in a corner across from him, they're giving each other a look...Tank hits Dina the Denier with a Flatliner HOY AND PAULIE ABSOLUTELY BLASTING TANK WITH STEREO MISSILE DROPKICKS SENDING HIM TUMBLING TO THE ROPES! UNBELIEVABLE! HOY KEEPS THE MOMENTUM GOING AND ASAI MOONSAULT TO DINA!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Dina the Denier Dorwart is eliminated by Hoy Sumer!

 

Kendra: Devon Delight recovering himself in the corner, catching his breath, cartwheel corkscrew axe kick to Petey Peacock! He seamlessly transitions that into a back flip and kangaroo kick to Terry! Terry stumbles back and Bowen charges for him but Terry catches him into a brutal underhook DDT! 

 

Simon: Arias driving Gwen to the ground with a spinebuster! Right into a scoop slam on Hammer!! Danielle FIshel with a Bionic Elbow to Harris, Harris stutters back but is able to catch himself in time to see Rufus and Hammer charging him, one arm side slam to each of them! Goes for the pin on Hammer-

 

1!

 

Simon: Hammer kicks at 1. Hammer tries to get to his feet and low blow by Danielle Fishel! Arias goes for the bridging German to Fishel, but Fishel pushes her butt down on Arias and hooks his leg but Arias kicks out of it OH NO GRANT IS WAITING FOR HIM AND A G-DRIVE! GRANT PICKS HIM UP AND A SECOND G-DRIVE!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Good Dude Greg Arias is eliminated by G. Grant Harris III!

 

Kendra: Melissa Joan Hart OFF THE TOP ROPE AND SIMULTANEOUS ECLIPSES TO PETEY PEACOCK AND THE MYSTERIOUS STEVE! SOMEONE'S BEEN TRAINING!!

 

Colin: I did not give these celebrities enough credit. Just damn.

 

Kendra: Steve pulls out an handkerchief...oh good lord, this is one of those long ones...still going...what's he planning on doing, oh it's finally out. He's using it to choke out Terry!! Devon in the corner, waiting for Melissa to turn around and he BLASTS HER WITH OREGON TRAIL! The fans love it but OH Petey Peacock with a Leg Lariat to Devon and taking advantage of Terry being held up in that rope to plant a huge front dropkick to his ribs! Hart tries to get up and Devon blasts her with a jumping roundhouse. 

 

Colin: Rossi with an eye rake and a DDT to Indigo. Tank blasts Harley with a clothesline, Indigo back to her feet and is met with double stiff punches by Tank and Bloodswan. Tank turns around to be met with a kick in the crotch by Rossi! Rossi gets him up in the high crucifix...ROSS CROSS! Bloodswan with a Spinning Superwoman Punch to Harley! Paulie going flying with a Double Axe Handle to Hoy...NO! HOY CATCHES HIM AND RUNS HIM INTO A SUMERSLAM SPINEBUSTER! 

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Paulie Parrot is eliminated by Hoy Sumer!

 

Colin: Hoy doesn't see Swan pirouetting by him and SWAN SONG KNEE INTO THE RUSSIAN SICKLE!! GOING FOR THE PIN!!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Hoy Sumer is eliminated by Bloodswan!

 

Simon: Screech with a DDT to Fishel, Fishel bouncing up fairly quickly and hits Insamity with a Knee Smash and the Fishelman Driver to Fabulous Matt and going for the pin NO MATT REVERSES INTO A ROLL-UP!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Danielle Fishel is eliminated by The Fabulous Matt!

 

Simon: Bianca Diaz going for the Siren Song Superkick to Hammer! Nails him with it and adds a Standing Moonsault for flair! Goes for the pin, nothing doing. Tries the Siren Song again with Grant and doesn't waste the extra time with the flair, goes for the pin here-

 

1!

2!
3!

G. Grant Harris III is eliminated by Bianca Diaz!

 

Kendra: Terry hits Bowen with a devastating lariat! Hart approaches and Terry decks her with a stiff punch! Bowen to his feet, clubs Terry and takes him down with a piledriver! 

 

Colin: Tank Vanguard blasts Harley Quinn with an Alabama Slam! As Harley rolls out of the ring Tank is wasting no time and wrecks Rossi with a clothesline! Harley found a Barbed Wire Bat, and this is Baaad News. She drives the bat into Bloodswan's ribcage! And clubs her in the back with it! Tank still running amok and Alabama Slam to Indigo!! Going for the cover-

 

1!

2!

 

Colin: Indigo reverses!!

 

1!

 

Colin: And Tank kicks as Harley uppercuts Bloodswan with that bat. Impressive Harley's stayed in it this far.

 

Simon: You shouldn't underestimate people, Colin. Rufus drives Insamity into the mat with a Spinebuster! OH! Insamity is up pretty quickly and charging Diaz, grabs her by the hair, springboarding and drops her with a bulldog!! Going for the pin - 

 

1!

 

Simon: Diaz kicks! Insamity moving on to Gwen and shoulder tackles her into the corner!! Dancing around like a lunatic and Stinger Splash to Gwen! Turns around RIGHT INTO RUFUS'S FACTORY SETTING FACEBREAKER! Matt with a running forearm throws Rufus off from the pin!

 

Kendra: Petey with a pair o' punches to Steve, Terry with a big scoop slam to Hart. Steve with a crucifix to Bowen and goes for the pin, but no dice. Bowen up and hits Petey with the Russian Leg Sweep... STEVE COPS THE PIN WITH A STANDING SOMERSAULT LEG DROP! 

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Petey Peacock is eliminated by The Mysterious Steve!

 

Kendra: I believe that just leaves Pen Gwen for the Birds of Play. Steve up and elbows Devon on his way up.

 

Colin: Rossi rakes the eyes of Indigo. Bloodswan with a Spinning Ballet Backhand to Tank and keeps it going into a spinning Superwoman Punch with the other hand!! Tank is looking a bit punch drunk. Lucenza Rossi with a headscissors takedown to Harley Quinn, Indigo splits Tank in two with the Sawbox Spear!! I think his head might have hit the turnbuckle! She goes for the cover-

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Tank Vanguard is eliminated by Indigo!

 

Colin: And the bottom is now down to 4! Bloodswan, Indigo, Harley Quinn, and Lucenza Rossi and they are throwin' fists at each other!

 

Kendra: Terry hits that third backbreaker to complete the Triplicate on Bowen, and running through a second set just to be sure...1...2...3! Going for the pin and Bowen STILL kicks! Steve on the run and just as Terry gets up Poison Rana by Steve, but Terry also kicks! Hart doesn't give him a chance to get up though and catches him with the basement dropkick. 

 

Simon: Screech with the Irish Whip to Hammer, and a tilt a whirl backbreaker!! A lot of pressure on Hammer as the last remaining representative of his team. Gwen with a running bulldog to Insamity, Screech gets Gwen on the upswing and DDT! Both of them to their feet and Diaz mows them both back down with a double arm clothesline!! Gwen bounces back to her feet and HAMMER WITH THE HELL'S GRASP CHOKESLAM TO DROP HER BACK DOWN! SCREECH DOESN'T LEARN FROM HER MISTAKES AND HAMMER STOPS HIS RISE UP WITH THE SHELL SHOCK POP-UP POWERBOMB!!

 

1!

2!
3!

 

Screech is eliminated by Hammer!

 

Colin: Harley with a tornado Inverted DDT to Rossi! Rossi back to her feet and Bloodswan mows her down with a forearm shot! Lucenza back to her feet and she ducks Harley and Bloodswan, going up to the ropes, Springboard Splash and NO! Indigo catches her into a gutbuster! Indigo goes for the cover, Rossi kicks and rakes the eyes of Indigo on her way up. Indigo pays it forward and rakes the eyes of Bloodswan, and Bloodswan decides instead to throw Harley across the way and catch her with a Pendulum Backbreaker!

 

Kendra: There's always that one person who refuses to finish the Wave. Bowen with a leg whip to Steve! Steve takes the bump but quickly back up and a form of the Cross Rhodes, which he deems the Tumbleweed! And here comes Hart with the double hand bulldog to stop Steve from the pin! Why she did that I'm not sure, but Bowen repays her by locking in the Sharpshooter. Terry with an elevated Belly to Belly to Devon that he's moving at whatever the opposite of Breakneck Speed is. Fixneck Speed? Devon hits the ground with a forceable oof, and Hart is tapping out to the Sharpshooter, a phrase that no one thought they'd say!

 

Melissa Joan Hart is eliminated by Bowen Baneclaw!

 

Kendra: We're down to four in the middle! Bowen, Devon, Steve, and Terry! Sounds like a male acapella group or a boy band lineup.

 

Simon: GWEN WITH THE SLIDING HEADBUTT TAKES DIAZ OFF HER FEET! SLIDE! Hammer with a stiff punch to Insamity and as Gwen gets to her feet he gives her one as well, sending her right into the arms of Insamity who DROPS her with a Scoop Slam! Picks her up, gets her in a Pedigree position....AND POGO PILEDRIVER! HE'S BOUNCING HER HEAD ON THE MAT OVER AND OVER!! And the pin!

 

1!

2!
3!

 

Pen Gwen is eliminated by Uncle Insamity!

 

Kendra: What's absolutely bonkers to me is that we seem to be getting eliminations at a relative speed in each cell, so unlike previous times it's not like any winner is walking into a crazy situation. 

 

Colin: Very true. What's also wild is, that with two down to 4 and 1 down to 6, fully 9 teams can still walk out of here with the belt. Only 3 teams have been completely eliminated, one of whom were the champs going into this.

 

Kendra: Terry hits Steve with a pair of stomps, Devon with a quick splash to Steve and a cover-

 

1!

2!

3!

 

The Mysterious Steve is eliminated by Devon Delight!

 

Colin: Only 2 teams can potentially benefit from having partner support here at this point, both of whom are psychotic in nature. 

 

Simon: Hammer has Insamity in the corner...CLOTHESLINE BARRAGE! HE CALLS THIS THE HAMMER'S FURY! AND THERE'S THE SPLASH TO COMPLETE THE TRANSACTION! Hammer goes for the Pin INSAMITY REVERSES THE PIN-

 

1!

 

Simon: Hammer kicks!

 

Colin: Indigo with a Double Axe Handle to Harley! Harley rolls back with a laugh, off the ropes and a big boot to the face of Bloodswan! Indigo slaps Rossi, and Harley to the Top Rope...DOUBLE BIONIC ELBOW! MALLET TO ROSSI! Going for the pin!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Lucenza Rossi is eliminated by Harley Quinn!

 

Simon: Bianca out of the ring and appears to be scaling the cell. The Fabulous Matt throws Hammer into the corner, all the way back and a Stinger Splash with flair to spare! Up to the top, takes the bow, and a Blockbuster! All told it's a Fabulous Finish! He goes for the pin-

 

1!

 

Simon: NO! Hammer kicks AGAIN! 

 

Kendra: Bowen has Devon up!! ELECTRIC CHAIR DRIVER!!! GOING FOR THE PIN DEVON REVERSES!!

 

1!

2!

 

Kendra: BOWEN REVERSES BACK!!! GOOD LORD!

 

1!

2!
3!

Devon Delight is eliminated by Bowen Baneclaw!

 

Kendra: WE ARE DOWN TO TWO IN THE MIDDLE CELL! WILL IT BE BOWEN BANECLAW OR TERRY BRANT? They're throwing punches to get it going!

 

Colin: Indigo with a spinning neckbreaker to Bloodswan!

 

Simon: DIAZ IS HANGING FROM THE TOP OF THE CELL! THIS IS INSANITY! SHE SWINGS HERSELF A FEW TIMES... DOUBLE ROTATION SHOOTING STAR!! HOLY HELL!!! SHE JUST LANDED ON BOTH HAMMER AND MATT! PIN TO HAMMER!!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Hammer is eliminated by Bianca Diaz!

 

The fans chant "This is awesome!" 

 

Kendra: Terry going for a pin, Bowen rolls him up into the Sharpshooter!!!

 

Simon: Matt throws Insamity into the corner, and we may be seeing it again...There's that Stinger Splash!! Diaz with a spinning gutbuster to Rufus and Matt going up to the turnbuckle!!

 

Kendra: TERRY TAPS!!! TERRY TAPS!!! 

 

Red Tape Terry Brant is eliminated by Bowen Baneclaw, Bowen is the winner of the middle cell!

 

Bowen's cell is unlocked.

 

Kendra: Bowen has no teammates left, so he has a decision to make.

 

Simon: BLOCKBUSTER! FABULOUS FINISH!! Going for the pin!

 

Kendra: Up...

 

1!

 

Kendra: Or...

 

2!

 

Kendra: Down?

 

3!

 

Uncle Insamity is eliminated by The Fabulous Matt!

 

Simon: Bowen's going up, and the cell is unlocked. 

 

Colin: This is the point in which we can call it all together. We're down to our final 7, one cell is done entirely. 6 teams can still win this, as we have The Fabulous Matt, Bowen Baneclaw, Bianca Diaz, and Rufus Reeve up top; and Bloodswan, Indigo, and Harley Quinn, if you can believe it, in the bottom. 

 

Kendra: Rufus greets Bowen with the Based Facebuster! And going for a cover immediately-

 

1!

2!

 

Colin: Bowen kicks, keeps himself alive. But Matt has Diaz in the corner and the splash!! Going up, and that's gonna be a Blockbuster! He's got Diaz down!

 

1!

2!
3!

 

Bianca Diaz is eliminated by The Fabulous Matt!

 

Simon: And Indigo on a rampage! Spinning backbreaker to Harley! High angle Spinebuster to Bloodswan!! ANOTHER HIGH ANGLE SPINEBUSTER TO BLOODSWAN!! Loads herself back, Bloodswan up and SAWBOX SPEAR! HARLEY UNLOADS THE BARBED WIRE BAT AGAINST INDIGO'S HEAD AND PREVENTS THE PIN! 

 

Colin: Why do they keep doing that?? Bloodswan tries to take advantage of the pin on Indigo but Indigo kicks!

 

Kendra: Rufus drives Matt down with a Spinebuster! Oh check this, what's he doing...is that...is he...crab walking? 

 

Simon: You have all just bared witness to the Rufus Shuffle. Bowen runs Rufus down! Bowen unloading on Rufus, Matt up and charging, Rufus catches him with a big boot. Rufus throws Matt off the rope and another big boot! Bowen picks him up and Matt rolls behind Bowen, kicks Bowen in the shins and brings him down to the ground!

 

Colin: Bloodswan with a Ballerina Spin and Back Wheel Kick to Harley and Indigo! 

 

Kendra: Matt with a bridging Inverted Figure 4!! He calls it the Fab 4!!! 

 

Simon: And Bowen is done!

 

Bowen Baneclaw is eliminated by The Fabulous Matt!

 

Colin: Matt gets up and REAR NAKED CHOKE BY RUFUS! 

 

Kendra: Harley grabs her own bat, Bloodswan takes the barbed wire bat! 

 

Simon: Matt trying to get to the ropes! 

 

Colin: BLOODSWAN AND HARLEY SANDWICH INDIGO'S HEAD BETWEEN THEIR BATS!!! 

 

Kendra: Both members of The Magic Bus are about to see the wheels come off!

 

Simon: Double bludgeon situation to Indigo! And now a double pin!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Indigo is eliminated by Harley Quinn and Bloodswan!

 

Kendra: And Matt can't hold it together! 

 

The Fabulous Matt is eliminated by Rufus Reeve, Rufus Reeve is the winner of the top cell!

 

Rufus Reeve begins the climb down.

 

Colin: And Rufus and Bloodswan could be at a major advantage here! This for all intense purposes has just become a handicap match!

 

Kendra: Something to consider though, there have been some issues with Psycho Supremacy, and some frustration with Bloodswan and Nero. So Rufus has a choice here.

 

Simon: Harley has Bloodswan in an Arm-Trapped Dragon Sleeper. Does Rufus punish Bloodswan or does he help her?

 

Rufus comes to the door and is let in! 

 

Colin: Good choice. Much better choice. He grabs Harley into a Vise Grip!! Harley trying to keep her own hold on but can't keep both the hold and herself and she chooses herself! She breaks the hold! Bloodswan breathing heavily but she and Rufus share a look, Rufus CRACKS Harley over his back! Bloodswan to the top rope!

 

Kendra: BLOODSWAN OFF THE ROPES WITH A PICTURE PERFECT PIROUETTE-INFORMED PHOENIX SPLASH!! BEAUTIFUL TEAMWORK!! Bloodswan goes for the pin!!

 

1!

2!

3!

 

Harley Quinn is eliminated by Bloodswan, making her the winner of the bottom cell and The Psycho Supremacy are the new Trios Champions!