Gold curtains. A shimmering MAWL logo. Spotlights catch flecks of sequins.
Red Carpet Mark Anderson adjusts his sunglasses, smirking for the camera.
High Risk Winston Lewis spins a mic stand like he’s hosting the Oscars.
MARK ANDERSON:
“Greensboro, North Carolina! Wrestling fans, curious onlookers, and anyone who wandered in by mistake—welcome to the most important part of tonight’s show:
The MAWLiwood Blondes Pre-Show Spectacular!
Because let’s face it, if you want a REAL star… you need a little shine.”
WINSTON LEWIS:
“Tonight the show is ‘Madness’—and trust us, they meant it. This card? This is what happens when your talent roster is made from Craigslist, and the main event is a group therapy session for circus rejects and failed TikTokers.”
MARK:
“You want a rundown? Buckle up. This is the only version that matters—MAWLiwood style!”
MARK:
“Scott Razor vs SlowMo.
Is SlowMo’s gimmick… being slow? Wow, cutting edge. Is Razor just a dull butter knife? Tune in to find out, or don’t—we won’t.”
[Editor's note - Scott's match has since changed due to the unexpected departure of SlowMo]
WINSTON:
“Slang Dang vs DX Royal.
Those aren’t wrestlers. Those are Fortnite skins. DX Royal, brought to you by the letter X and creative bankruptcy.”
MARK:
“Manta Ray, El Cerrador, and Johnny Dagger vs La Sangre Maldita.
That’s Spanish for ‘We take everything personally.’ Manta, last time you picked a fight, you picked the wrong guy—next time, pick a new profession.”
WINSTON:
“Daedalus Effect vs Ivan Volkov and the Doomsayers.
This is either a Soviet art collective or a band playing at your weird cousin’s wedding.”
MARK:
“WildFire vs Stitches the Clown – Strings of Agony.
You ever light a clown on fire? Neither have we. But hey, maybe tonight!”
WINSTON:
“Tino Sabatelli vs Schmetterling.
That’s not a wrestler, that’s a sneeze. Gesundheit!”
MARK:
“Papa Bois Den: Elijah vs Aiko.
Airbnb, but haunted. That’s all we’re saying.”
WINSTON:
“50 Cent vs Diddy vs Jay-Z.
Oh good, the 2000s called—they want their playlist back.”
MARK:
“Blood Drawn and James D vs Moon and Daniel.
Blood Drawn sounds like a tattoo parlor that never opened.”
WINSTON:
“Jay the Joker, Harley Quinn, Uncle Insamity, and Gilberto J vs Mono, Lancer, Notorio, and Kid Kross.
Is this a wrestling match or a Hot Topic fever dream?”
MARK:
“Alfos, All Star Eric Verne, and Screech vs Solrac, Youngblood Patrick Riot, and Xander Marks.
I’ve seen more chemistry at a middle school science fair.”
WINSTON:
“Gozu vs Rade.
Tonight only: Japan’s favorite monster battles… Swedish furniture?”
MARK:
“Thor vs Ragnarrr.
Not sure if this is wrestling or LARPing, but at least the costumes will be fun.”
WINSTON:
“Cellula vs Goldberg.
Biology class just got violent.”
MARK:
“JCM Ace vs Luciano.
Two card dealers fighting for the best seat at the casino buffet.”
WINSTON:
“Solemn Guardian vs Jacen ‘The Heretic’ Tarot.
Ren fair cosplay meets Hot Topic clearance rack.”
MARK:
“Elimination Tag: Venom Cartel and Spirit Crusher vs Psycho Supremacy.
If these are real teams, I’m a lumberjack.”
WINSTON:
“ASYLUM TITLE REMATCH: SM Heartbreaker vs Wonderwolf.
That’s not a match, that’s a rejected anime.”
MARK:
“JP Spears and Guinevere vs Morgan Maverick and Sarah Sharp.
If there’s no betrayal, we riot.”
WINSTON:
“Lucenza Rossi vs Violet vs Kiki Kruel vs Marla Anderson.
Sounds like a caffeine-fueled catfight at Sephora’s grand opening.”
MARK:
“And finally, the sermon we all didn’t ask for: Balor Wolfe vs Reverend Abner Almighty.
Balor thinks he’s a god, Abner thinks he’s his own prophet—maybe they’ll both get struck by lightning.
Either way, the fans lose.”
WINSTON (arms wide):
“So yeah, it’s Madness. Half of you aren’t ready for prime time, the other half aren’t ready for cable access. But don’t worry—MAWLiwood is here to save the show!”
MARK:
“We’re the only ones you should be paying to see. No haunted clowns, no preachy cultists, no mask-wearing mermen—just pure star power, baby.”
WINSTON:
“And when the dust settles and the drama dies, there’s only one thing left standing—US.
We should just be tag champions. None of this—”
BOTH:
“…hmph, drama.”
The lights flicker. The feed distorts. Mark and Winston’s grins drop as the screen starts to swim with static and a faint, swampy hiss seeps into the audio.
Their faces freeze as a chilling, distorted chuckle grows louder.
GRAVEWATER (voice crawling through the speakers):
“But what happens… when the final reel burns… and the stars drown in dark?”
The camera shudders. The Blondes’ confident posturing falters. The feed snaps to static. The MAWL “Madness” logo appears, stamped in dripping mud.
Scene opens inside a dimly lit, old church. Candles flicker. A storm rumbles faintly outside.
The camera slowly pans over somber faces sitting in the pews, mourners dressed in black. At the front, a Preacher stands behind a casket, voice low and sorrowful.
Preacher:
“We gather here today to lay to rest a promising young man. A warrior, full of potential, snuffed out before he could leave his mark on this broken world. A darkness has come… a scourge sweeping across the land… devouring the light, swallowing hope. It has already claimed this soul…”
The mourners shift uneasily.
Suddenly, a woman stands up, desperate.
Suddenly, a woman stands up, desperate.
Woman (crying out):
“Who will stop it?!”
The Preacher looks at her with pity… and resignation.
Preacher (gravely):
“It cannot be stopped.”
The place goes silent.
Then, from the back, a small girl stands, her voice sounds like a haunting song.
Small Girl (singing softly):
“When the lights fade cold to red,
Fear and dread, fear and dread,
Stay away… or join the fray.”
CRASH!
The heavy church doors slam open. A hooded figure stands silhouetted in the stormlight. Everyone turns. Fear grips the room. The small girl continues, her voice weaving into the storm.
Small Girl (chanting):
“When his voice is low and deep,
Pray or weep, pray or weep,
Look behind… lost to time.”
The hooded figure strides slowly down the center aisle, steps echoing. The mourners watch, frozen, horrified.
The girl’s voice rises, almost gleeful.
Small Girl (faster with a rhythm ):
“See the cards clutched in his hand?
Threads of fate at his command…”
The figure reaches the casket. He places a hand on the lid… and opens it, revealing a lifelike wax figure of the fallen wrestler, Solemn Guardian, arms crossed with a tome in them, eternally still. The figure draws a Tarot card from his sleeve… and places it on Solemn Guardian’s tome.
Small Girl (whispering):
“What’s his game…? What’s his game…?”
The figure lowers his hood revealing blonde hair. From his ear dangles a cross earring. He has a devilish smirk.
The girl’s voice erupts into a shriek.
Small Girl (screaming):
“JACEN TAROT! CURSE HIS NAME!”
The Preacher’s face contorts into a grotesque, unnatural grin. He bursts into maniacal laughter. The camera whips around.
The entire congregation is laughing hysterically, faces twisted in madness.
Their laughter echoes, growing louder, overwhelming.
The camera zooms in on the Tarot card resting on the tome of the wax figure of Solemn Guardian… the Death card.
As the camera draws closer, the laughter distorts, becoming demonic.
The screen fades to black with the echo of laughter still ringing.
Once the screen is black, the laughter ceases and a single voice of a man is heard.
Jacen Tarot: I’m coming
JUNE 9, 2025
GREENSBORO, NC
GREENSBORO COLISEUM
Fireworks go off in the arena as Jacob Lizotte "Madness" plays and the crowd absolutely goes wild.
Colin: WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME TO MAWL MADNESS!! I AM COLIN MCRAE!
Kendra: I'm Kendra Mavis!
Simon: And I'm Simon Apple, not to be confused with Theodore Banana or Alvin Kumquat. Have you ever had a Kumquat? They are not at all what I envisioned.
Colin: Sitting with Simon is a test of En-Durian-ce.
Kendra: ANYWAY, last week our broadcast was interrupted by the Flemish Open, but you can catch it on demand. Honestly, our champs and most of our big names were taking the week off anyway after the brutality that was Mayday and it was a place to see some young guns and old heads.
Simon: I was looking forward to old guns and young heads. Will that be next week?
Colin: Well we've got our first International show of the year coming up as we start our journey off the coast, I've heard that we're going to get an influx of Pathogens as they've been come to be known here, but somehow that's not even the biggest story.
Kendra: The biggest news may well be that Elisa Mae He used effectively her last throes of being unchecked to potentially threaten to split our roster here in twine and send half of them off to deal with Alastor.
Colin: I'm sure that will include Balor Wolfe which then will beggar the question of will our top belt be heading off Madness. And will they do us the honor of having Simon be their lead announcer.
Simon: You're an asshole.
Kendra: So many other stories to get to about International Incident, we haven't even begun to dissect Heartbreaker's successful cash-in at Mayday yet we have a whole card here to get to tonight, and personally I'd love to enjoy this roster while we know we have it.
The entire stadium resonates with jubilation, cheering for their favorite wrestlers. Chants of support are heard everywhere, making the sports venue rumble. The crowd, tonight, is making its presence felt in Greensboro. The city in the Eastern United States makes itself heard, shouting:
LET'S GO, MAWL!
LET'S GO, MAWL!
LET'S GO, MAWL!
The shouts are interrupted by the introduction of Metallica's "Welcome Home."
As the song's preamble plays through the speakers, the lights go out. The fans decide to illuminate their surroundings with their cell phones and a few small, low-powered flashlights. They look like stars in the infinity of cold outer space. A white mist begins to cover the entrance aisle to the ring. And suddenly, the silhouette of a robust wrestler appears, holding an old lantern; one of those kerosene ones. Masked with what appears to be a dried animal skin mask... A lamb, specifically... Along with the music, he abruptly tears off his mask, revealing himself as a grown man.
At the same time, he begins his walk to the ring. He walks heavily, each step slow but deliberate. A smile is visible on his face; like a predator finding its prey. He continues this way until his entrance is complete, entering the ring under the ropes; laughing out loud. That man has a dirty appearance, as if coming from hell itself. He has a scar on his right eye that runs down to his lips. Fair-skinned, with a very thick beard that covers his neck; black as night. His hair is long and tangled, with a couple of dreadlocks showing, dyed red. He fights in dark jeans, somewhat torn and dirty. His torso is covered by a black sleeveless shirt; it has stains of what appears to be old blood and dirt. Over this, a somewhat worn leather jacket. And on his feet he wears black military-style boots.
In the middle of the ring, a spotlight illuminates him as he asks for a microphone to begin his speech.
???: Fear... —his voice is deep, somewhat hoarse— Fear has always been with us. It surrounds us, don't you see it? —he smirks— For many, fear causes paralysis; it doesn't let them think, it overwhelms them. Useless! Idiots! Fear has never been weak. Nor should it have been for the weak! —he shouts with rage— For us... for the strong... it transforms us. It nourishes us! It gives us strength...
He begins to walk around the ring, from side to side. Walking heavily, as if he were a zombie. That macabre smile still paints his face.
???: You... the weak... you needed me. You managed to make your own fear call me, invoke me —he hits his chest with his fist multiple times—. This is something you won't understand yet; it will be hard for you to assimilate. It's a force superior to you... and I understand. At first, it wasn't easy for me either. My head hurts just trying to remember what I was before I met her —he mentions, whispering that last word—. I am her Emissary... Gilberto J! —he hits his chest again with his free hand, stretching it out beside him instantly afterward— I am... YOUR KING!
He drops to his knees on the ring, throwing the microphone aside. He didn't need it; with that peculiar speech, the stands had been completely silenced. He shouted to finish:
Gilberto J: Get ready to see what a true reign of terror is... WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE!
He finished by stretching both hands to his sides, laughing out loud. After a moment, the lights came on again and he stood up to settle in a corner of the ring to await the entry of the other participants in the match.
SURVIVOR TAG
GILBERTO J, JAY THE JOKER, HARLEY QUINN, AND UNCLE INSAMITY VS NEONYX NOTORIO, TY NEON SKY LANCER, HIGH FLYER MONO, AND KID KROSS
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is a survivor series tag match! Already in the ring, from the Jungle, weighing in at 285 pounds, he is the King of the Jungle, GILBERTO J!
Jay the Joker walks out, dancing around on his crowbar. Behind him, Harley Quinn comes in swinging her bat and skipping a bit.
Ash: And his partners! First! From Gotham City, the team of Jay the Joker and Harley Quinn!
Colin: I had unfairly mocked Harley at Mayday and she almost won the Trios Belts for herself, Joker, and this next competitor. They're going to get a chance again at International Incident as part of our inaugural RBI Match, we figured debuting that at Incident would be logical because of Cuba's love and history with baseball.
The polka dot lights swirl in and Uncle Insamity comes onto the stage to boos.
Ash: And! Hailing from the Bath Salt Mines of Florida, weighing 178 pounds, American Mayhem, UNCLE INSAMITY!
He sways around the ramp like a drunken Inflatable Waving Arm Waving Tube Man as he walks down, occasionally getting in the face of a fan and laughing maniacally. He hops into the ring and laughs maniacally again as the boos increase.
Colin: These clowns only really seem to amuse themselves. But maybe that's the point.
The lights suddenly cut out for a brief moment and explode and strobe to the heavy riff of Soundgarden’s Outshined. The crowd is on their feet in support of the Kid they identify with. The Hometown Hero and the Kross town Rival. Twisted Kid Kross.
Ash: "And their opponents! Ladies and gentlemen, from the depths of despair and depravity of Sunnyvale Trailer Park, in Sunnyvale Nova Scotia Canada, weighing in at 230 pounds, your hometown hero and their cross town rival, Twisted Kiiiiiddddd Kross!!"
Kid Kross saunters down to the ring with his flashy blue and green vest with a facial depiction of “the green bastard”, a local Sunnyvale wrestler. He has his aviators on carrying a hockey stick over his shoulder. His long hair flowing behind him. Kid Kross kneels down In the ring with his arms out to the side as the music hits the chorus “ Show me the power child I’d like to say, that I’m down on my knees today”. He pops back up when the lyrics say “it gives the butterflies, gives me away until I’m up on my feet again”. He climbs to the second rope and raises his stick in unison with “OUTSHINED, OUTSHINED, OUTSHINED, OUTSHINED!”
Announcer: "Kid Kross!, the one we’ve all been waiting for! He’s here to take professional wrestling by storm!"
Kid Kross stares intently at the curtain awaiting his next challenge. Ready to prove himself to his fans and the rest of the wrestling world.
As the lights drop, the arena is plunged into darkness, the only illumination coming from pulsating neon strobes flashing in sync with the beat of his entrance theme. A slight fog rolls across the stage, shrouding the entranceway in a hazy glow.
As the beat drops, the titantron lights up with a mesmerizing display of neon dragons swirling around each other, twisting and coiling in an endless cycle of movement, their glowing bodies pulsing in rhythm with the music.
After a few moments, Neonyx Notorio steps onto the stage with an undeniable aura of confidence, his movements slow and deliberate as he surveys the crowd, drinking in his own self-importance.
Ash: And his partners! From Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 225 pounds, the Young Dragon, NEONYX NOTORIO!
As he reaches the ring, he effortlessly jumps onto the apron before quickly rushing up the turnbuckle. Standing tall, he places his hands behind his back, scanning the crowd as if daring them to match his energy. Without hesitation, he front flips off the turnbuckle, landing with a smooth roll into a kneeling position on one leg. He bows his head into his balled fist before slowly looking up and pointing—either at his opponent if they are already in the ring, or toward the crowd if he enters first—before finally standing and adjusting his gloves, fully in his element.
The arena goes black and white (a la Timeless Toni Storm). After the initial synth ends and as the full instrumental kicks in, two firework upward-pointing arrows explode forming an M and High Flyer Mono runs out, playing to the fans, who are eating it up.
Ash: From Phoenix, Arizona, weighing in at 197 pounds, HIGH! FLYER! MOOOOOOONO!
Mono runs out down the rope and also clears the apron with a somersault, landing on his feet which brings the color back to the arena.
Blackout. Then sudden bursts of neon laser lights cut through fog. Ty appears in a crouch under a UV spotlight, rising slowly in sync with the bass drop.
Ash: AND! From the Electric City, weighing in at 201 pounds, TY "NEON SKY" LANCER!
Lights sync to the beat as he dances and hypeman-walks to the ring, engaging the crowd with finger-point taunts.
The bell rings. Jay the Joker and Neonyx start.
Colin: Joker comes barreling in and Neonyx catches him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Going for an early pin, but easily kicks and an eye rake as he gets to his feet. Neonyx undeterred and pop-up dropkick. Neonyx trying to go for that run and Joker cuts him off with a Rocket Launcher! Joker trying to go for a tag and Neonyx from the top, there's that Cutter! BURNING ARROW! Going over the cover- Joker kicks.
Kendra: Neonyx tries to come off the ropes and go into a Crucifix pin but Joker pushes himself down to cover and hooks the leg, Neo kicks anyway. Joker slides his hands over and Harley slides knuckles in! JOKER WHANGS NEONYX WITH THOSE KNUCKLES.
Simon: Neo definitely feelin' it, and he tries to make it over HOT TAG TO KID KROSS, KROSS BLASTS JOKER WITH THE KROSS OVER! Going for the pin-
1!
Colin: Harley stomping Kross off, but Kross keeps Joker up and a beautiful Death Valley Driver. Joker rolls back, Irish Whip to Kross and STINK FACE! Into a Victory Roll-Kross kicks easily.
Simon: Joker got him by the hair and pulling him up to the turnbuckle! I don't think he's gonna give him a trim and a shave!
Kendra: Unless that's what you call a Superplex. Kross keeps it moving though and hits that DDT. Picking Joker up and Powerbomb!! Going for the pin - JOKER REVERSES - Kross kicks. Joker's probably gotta tag soon, right?
Simon: First he's gonna take Kross for a big swing!! Kross gathering himself in a corner and Joker absolutely flattens him with another stink face!! And a little clap and "hoo-hoo" outta Joker. Glad he's having fun, it's so important to have fun.
Kendra: Alley Oop Bomb from the corner into that pin-Kross kicks. Joker clearly frustrated and just stomping him in the head!! Strapping in his Armbar and Kross clearly feeling it. I don't think Joker's focused on the arm enough to make this the end.
Colin: And you'd be right, Kross flips out of it. Getting the crowd clapping around now, but I think you probably need to take Joker out a bit more, but Kross clearly disagrees and hooks that Fisherman hold in...he's got Joker in that vertical swerve and we're going for a spin, SUNNYVALE SUPLEX!
Simon: THAT'S A SLAY!
Kendra: That's Sunnydale, dude. But Kross going for the pin and-
1!
2!
Colin: Joker STILL kicks! Spins around and DROPS Kross with the knuckles!
1!
2!
3!
Kid Kross is eliminated by Jay the Joker!
High Flyer Mono enters the match.
Simon: Mono tags Neo in. That's... a choice. Neonyx drives Joker down with a dropkick! Joker going for the tag...and...just falls short. Neonyx hits a standing shooting star press! Jay rakes Neo's eyes and locks in a Mandible Claw! Notorio struggling and flailing a bit but is able to hook the arm and up into an arm-trapped headscissors!! JOKER LANDS AND ARM DRAG INTO AN ARMBAR! Neo makes it to the ropes, but almost pops his arm doing so and Joker with a backslide pin!
1!
2!
Kendra: Neonyx rolls out and elbow to the back of Joker's head keeps Joker down... off the ropes and leg drop to the back of Joker's head! And a quick kick to the head and La Magistral roll-up-
1!
2!
3!
Jay the Joker is eliminated!
Uncle Insamity enters the match!
Colin: Joker made only one attempt to tag out all match and faceplanted, and now it's caught up with him, but Uncle Insamity wants to make his mark AND NEONYX GREETS HIM WITH A CANADIAN DESTROYER!
1!
2!
3!
Uncle Insamity is eliminated!
Harley Quinn enters the match!
Kendra: Well that just turned the tide of the match numbers-wise, and is it a good idea to have Harley start in?
Colin: I think Gilberto is convinced he can probably take them on himself. Neonyx with a quick side kick combo and takes her down with a step up enziguiri!! Neonyx with a tag in to Ty Neon Sky Lancer, who is ready to go. Harley comes charging in with a clothesline, Ty ducks and spinning wheel kick to Harley! Ty tags in Mono and a double dropkick to Harley! Mono tries to whip Harley back into the corner but Harley reverses and tags in Gilberto J, Gilberto and Harley with a double suplex to Mono!!
Simon: The King of the Jungle just pimp slapping Mono! Hits Mono with a stiff punch and tags Harley back in. That was a bad idea though, Mono catches Harley in with a huracanrana! Harley quick to her feet and OOH low blow! Off the ropes and an Axe Kick! Now she's gettin' it! He's back to his feet quickly, ducks the roundhouse kick, puts a reverse spin on that Sling Blade! FLY BY! Going for a pin but Harley rolls out of the way. OOOH And she trips on her own feet. That's embarrassing.
Colin: Mono taking advantage, up to the top....DOUBLE ROTATION SHOOTING STAR! MONOLITH! GOING FOR THE PIN NOW
1!
2!
3!
Harley Quinn is eliminated by High Flyer Mono!
Gilberto J enters the match!
Simon: He's not gonna need to distinguish between himself and any other Gilbertos! He's the last one standing!
Kendra: And a smile on Gilberto's face! I think he wanted this. Drives Neon down with a boot! Drives Neo down with a boot! Clothesline to High Flyer Mono and he's telling Mono to get up.
Colin: Neonyx up, Gilberto charging him and Neo leapfrogs him! Kangaroo kick to the back, and Gilberto gets pushed back a step, maintains his footing. Neonyx coming off the ropes and tilt-a-whirl headscissors and he takes Gilberto down but Gilberto right back to his feet and catches Neonyx into a bodyslam. Off the ropes and a humongous legdrop to Neonyx! Neonyx desperately trying to get the leg into a bridging pin! He does it!!
1!
2!
3!
Neonyx Notorio, Ty Neon Sky Lancer, and High Flyer Mono win!
Ash: Here are your winners, Ty "Neon Sky" Lancer, High Flyer Mono, and Neonyx Notorio!
Kendra: And I don't think Gilberto J was expecting that! Notorio caught him off his feet into that bridging pin before he reacted! But he's aware now and I would get the hell out of OH NO! HE'S GOT NEONYX AND THERE'S THAT DOUBLE UNDERHOOK POP UP POWERBOMB, THE FACTOR J! TY AND MONO CHARGING HIM AND HE'S GOT OF EACH EM UNDER AN ARM, DOUBLE BLEED BEFORE THE JUNGLE IMPALER DDT! HE MAY LOST THIS MATCH BUT THIS TEAM DID NOT WIN THE ENCOUNTER!
Colin: We gotta get this card moving and grooving so let's get down to Ash for our next match.
GOLDBERG VS CELLULA
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
The lights go out. When they come back on, Cellula is in the ring.
Ash: ...Al..ready...in the ring, from Baltimore, Maryland, weighing in at 175 pounds, CELLULA!
Goldberg is led to the arena stage by security, who then leave him to himself.
Ash: And his opponent! From Tulsa, Oklahoma, weighing in at 285 pounds, GOOOOOLD! BERG!
Once he steps on the stage, he lets out a roar, with high plumes of sparkler fireworks shooting up on either side of him. He shoots up his right arm and a firework goes off. He shoots up his left arm and a firework goes off. Goldberg storms to the stage and into the ring, determined to destroy.
The bell rings!
Colin: Cellula starts quick with a solid and speedy jab. Goldberg throws the punch back, and Cellula responds back with a 1-2 punch and GHOST STEP SPINEBUSTER TO GOLDBERG!
1!
2!
Kendra: Goldberg kicks! Cellula hits the forearm shot on Goldberg as they get to their feet, and Cellula with a snap suplex. Goldberg back to his feet and snaps back with a short arm clothesline. Cellula whips Goldberg off the ropes, Goldberg ducks a clothesline, and back around for a Spear!! Going for a pin but Cellula is not where Goldberg left him.
Simon: Where'd he go? For that matter, where did he come from?
Colin: Cellula attempts to jump off the ropes and Goldberg catches him into a Spinebuster!! Picks him up, and here we go into a Jackhammer!!! Going for a pin BUT CELLULA REVERSES INTO A ROLL-UP! GOLDBERG KICKS!
Kendra: Cellula punches him as he gets to his feet, and another Ghost Step Spinebuster! Keeps on board and going with the Mounted Punches! Cellula hits a huge Double Axe Handle on the head of Goldberg and he flops down! Locking in the Taglio Della Gola and Goldberg looks like he's passing out! Goldberg isn't responding, and he's clearly faded out! Andra calls for the bell!
Cellula wins by referee stoppage!
Ash: Here is your winner, CELLULA!
The lights go out, and when they return Goldberg and Andra are alone in the ring.
Simon: How is it that everywhere we go seems to not have fully paid its light bills?
Kendra: That's a mystery for another time. In the meantime, we have the continuation of our card, and apparently these two have had history from before they came here. So let's get into it.
SLANG DANG VS DX ROYAL
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Slang Dang walks out of the gate hyping up the crowd, he taps the left wrist with his right hand.
When he is done, he points to the ring and smirks, and an “X” pyro explode from turnbuckle to turnbuckle.
Ash: First! From the Dog Pound, weighing in at 180 pounds, SLANG DANG!
He walks to the ring clapping the hands to his fans. Half the fans say "Slang!" and the other respond "Dang!"
Kendra: Slang's already amassing a fanbase here!
A bright red fire show blasts on the main stage. DX Royal appears from this.
Ash: And his opponent! From Delhi, India, weighing in at 265 pounds, DX Royal!
DX Royal's two women dance behind him and catch up, opening the ropes for him to enter. The bell rings.
Kendra: These two have a storied history, and now it's come to our shores. DX Irish Whips Slang across the ropes, Slang rolls under a roundhouse kicks and back around, and rolling cutter! DX to his feet and Slang catches him with a middle kick. Slang with a schoolboy pin but DX kicks easily, Slang tries again with a crucifix pin but DX reverses into a bridge -
1!
Simon: Slang kicks, DX runs back off the ropes, coming around for a float-over neckbreaker BUT SLANG DANG CATCHES HIM INTO A DANG-A-SLANG SLAM!!!
1!
2!
3!
Slang Dang wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, SLANG DANG!!!
Colin: And Slang Dangs him up real quick. With that, we move on to some of our more established fighters.
BLOOD DRAWN AND JAMES D VS DANIEL AND MOON
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!
The arena goes dark, and the sound of a slow, ominous drumbeat fills the air before this theme music begins. A blood-red spotlight illuminates the stage as he slowly makes his way to the ring.
Ash: First! From Steelhaven, weighing in at 285 pounds, BLOOD DRAWN!
Colin: Blood Drawn is looking to get his hands on Moon again, but this time Solemn Guardian won't be there to steal his kill.
Kendra: No, but it's a tag match, so it could happen again.
He stares down the crowd with cold, predatory eyes before stepping into the ring and roaring to signal his dominance.
As his theme music plays over the PA system, James holds back until the song kicks in and then makes his way out from behind the curtain.
Ash: First! From New York City, weighing in at 190 pounds, The Most Interesting Man in the World, JAMES D!
As he moves into the sight of the fans, he's met with boos but this just brings a smile to his face. The boos continue to rain down towards James but it doesn't phase him as he makes his way down the ramp. James rolls into the ring and then stands in the corner as he awaits his opponent's entrance.
Loud-repeating booms fills the arena with big letter ‘D’ showing up in the titantron before it changes to ‘Daniel’ as the soundtrack Waiting - Not Forgotten played ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3HP8bog39Q ) through the PA.
Ash: And their opponents! First from Moultrie County, Illinois, weighing at 284 pounds, DANIEL!
Kendra: Choosing to not bring in the Destroyer. That's a choice.
Simon: Or maybe the Destroyer isn't choosing him? I am not sure how their relationship is working currently.
Daniel walks slowly in his long coat through the ramp down to the ring. His eyes are fixed and focused, locking on to his opponent. He climbs the steel stair and enters the ring through the 2nd rope. Finally he’s posing his Destroyer’s Roar with loud big banged pyros from the turnbuckle behind him.
A colorful lightshow dances across the entrance gate. A generic wrestling video plays on the titan-tron, as Moon makes his way to the ring.
Ash: And his partner! From Pune, India, weighing in at 200 pounds, MOON!
Moon walks slowly through the main gate. He then poses on top of the turnbuckle before he heads to the center of the ring.
Moon's tall frame and broad shoulders cast an imposing figure. He's dressed in his Royal Moon Prince attire. The lights illuminate the golden trimming on his outfit. A fierce energy seems to emanate from him. His hair is white; and his dark eyes, alight with excitement, have fire in them.
Simon: The Prince shines in the Moonlight. You think he'd make Aiko his princess? Or is she the blade that cuts the Moon? How does it work?
Colin: What are you even on about?
As Moon enters the ring he removes his royal attire and the crowd in the arena witness his impressive physique. Moon is quite handsome. His toned and tight body make a great first impression. His six pack abs and bulging biceps look very impressive.
The bell rings with Moon and Blood Drawn starting.
Kendra: Moon with a quick punch to Blood's face, Blood responds with a rollicking headbutt and scoops him up into a shoulderbreaker!! Moon rolling back and misses being stomped on to give a kick to Blood's shin. Moon tags Daniel in and Daniel staggers Blood back with a charging shoulder block!
Colin: Daniel getting the momentum swinging now, whips Blood off the ropes and big boot on the rebound! Blood up quickly and drop toe hold. Daniel scoops him up into a schoolboy with some force on the way down! But Blood kicks easily, to his feet and DANIEL WITH THE BIG BANG LARIAT! Going for the pin again-
1!
Simon: Back to the Drawning Board!
Kendra: Boo this man. Daniel goes for a second one, BLOOD DUCKS HE SPINS HIM AROUND AND GETS HIM UP POPS HIM UP AND BLOODLINE BREAKER!!
1!
2!
Colin: Daniel gets him shoulder up though not without struggle. Blood looking a tad irritated but shakes it off, Daniel uses that moment to roll behind him and Full Nelson Slam! Blood quickly back to his feet and ducks a short arm lariat, RED TIDE SPINEBUSTER! Moon trying to break up the pin and James D BLASTS him with the D Stroyer Knee!
1!
2!
3!
Blood Drawn wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here are your winners, Blood Drawn and James D!
Colin: And James D approaching the fallen Daniel, LOCKS IN THE BROKEN DREAMS STF! This match is already over and James now just seeking revenge on the man who's stymied his attempts at power! Moon tries to break this and BLOOD DRAWN WITH A BLOODLINE BREAKER TO MOON! WAIT - WE HAD A FEELING THIS MIGHT BE COMING-
Simon: This is what James wanted! He wanted to bring the mask out and he's trying to get to the face of Daniel to tear it off AND DANIEL USES THE FORCE OF HIS BODY TO FLIP JAMES OFF HIM! DANIEL HAS JAMES BY THE THROAT! THE DESTROYER IS IN FULL FORCE, HE CARRIES JAMES OVER TO BLOOD DRAWN AND LIFTS BLOOD DRAWN UP BY THE THROAT! REALLY GETTING EVERYTHING OUT OF THAT CHOKEHOLD AND LIFTING THEM ALL THE WAY UP! FINAL JUDGMENTS!!! THE DESTROYER JUST LAID OUT BOTH MEN!
Kendra: Be careful what you wish for!!
Colin: WHOA BIG SMOKE BOMB! Let's just let that clear and...looks like everyone in the ring is...gone. Okay.
Kendra: I guess we...just keep going.
SCOTT RAZOR VS MAGNUS
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
The camera’s return to Greensboro Coliseum as the fans in attendance cheer in the excitement of being on TV.
Kendra: North Carolina is out in full force tonight. And they are having a great time with this propulsive action.
The lights in the arena progressively, but quickly dim until there is a slight darkness hanging over the arena. The opening riffs of “Wherever I May Roam” by Metallica begins to play from the speakers and plumes of smoke can be seen filling the centre of the stage.
The darkness remains through the intro, before the song drops and a spotlight shines on the center of the stage, revealing a silhouette of a man within the mist clutching a bat.
He lifts the bat and points it towards the ring, the tip of it emerging from the shroud. As the song picks up pace, he cuts through the smoke by swiping upwards and emerges from it, standing at the top of the stage as red and white lights weave their way around the crowd like serpents - who respond with feverish anticipation.
Ash: Introducing first, weighing in at 336 pounds, he is The Bully of Bullies - SCOOOOTTT RAAAAAZOOR!!
Colin: This man proved at Mayday that not only is he brutal force, he can also be a master of mind games when he wants to be. A whole gaggle of individuals who decided to bounce from MAWL in the wake of Razor. AND he came full circle and re-proved his dominance against Cody Caster and Christian Reed. The bullies successfully bullied, and that mission ending early now has Scott turning his attentions to younger, fresher bullies.
He begins to stride forward towards the ring confidently with his bat hanging over his shoulder. He calmly walks up the ring steps, entering the ring and faces each side of the arena with his bat raised in the air, shouting ferociously. He finally turns to wait for his opponent.
The lights flicker and dim, casting the arena in shades of black and crimson red, creating a shadowy, ominous atmosphere. Fog starts to roll in from the entrance ramp, swirling in thick clouds, making it difficult to see anything clearly—heightening the sense that something dark is about to emerge from the mist. Occasionally, flashes of bright white or red light cut through the fog, only further adding to the dramatic effect.As the music builds, a slow, steady walk is the first thing that stands out. From behind the curtain emerges Magnus, a towering figure silhouetted by the dim, red lighting.
Ash: And his opponent! From Ironforge, Norway, weighing in at 300 pounds, MAGNUS!
Kendra: Team SuperStarz has been officially disbanded, but Magnus keeps his loyalty to Elisa Mae. Although his mentality is to support the leader and the leaders are fighting now. Which side of the Leila/Elisa battle will he fall on?
Colin: That is an excellent question.
He steps out with a purposeful, deliberate stride, his broad shoulders blocking the light behind him, casting a shadow that looms over the ring and the audience. His expression is as cold and unreadable as ever, his eyes scanning the arena with an icy, calculating gaze.
Magnus doesn’t rush to the ring. He moves slowly, as though he’s savoring the moment, letting the crowd feel his presence. The audience is split between fear and disdain, but no one dares to take their eyes off him. With every step, the fog swirls around him, enhancing his intimidating presence as he moves closer to the ring.His posture remains perfect—back straight, shoulders squared. Every movement exudes dominance and control. As he approaches the ring, he may glance over at the audience, never breaking his cold demeanor, letting them feel the weight of his gaze. He ignores any attempts at taunting or heckling, his focus solely on the ring and the task at hand.
Once Magnus reaches the ring, he stands for a moment at ringside, surveying the environment, scanning the crowd, and then slowly climbs the steps. As he enters the ring, he does so with a heavy, deliberate motion. The ropes bend slightly under his immense weight as he steps over them, his movements measured and controlled.
Upon entering the center of the ring, Magnus might raise his hand high, his fist clenched in a symbolic gesture of power, or he might simply stand there, letting the tension in the air grow even thicker. He doesn’t do anything flashy—his entrance is a statement, a demonstration of raw, intimidating presence.
Once inside the ring, the lights slowly return to normal, though the red glow still lingers around the edges, casting an unsettling hue over the scene. Magnus stands motionless for a moment, as if daring anyone to challenge him. His focus remains solely on the task at hand—the GM's will, the opponent he’s about to crush, or the message he’s meant to deliver. The music fades, leaving an eerie silence before the match begins.
After the silence fades the bell rings.
Kendra: This match puts Scott Razor in a different position than normal...the dude he's facing is an inch taller than him and only 36 pounds weight difference. We truly have two giants in the ring with steadfast missions - one to break the bullies and the other to benefit the boss who right now is the biggest bully of the ball.
Colin: Scott has no fear for the man staring him down, but also wasn't expecting a hug! Magnus LIFTING Razor up in that bear hug and putting all of his weight into his arms. You can see Razor losing weight but his expression hasn't changed a bit. Stone cold killer that Scott Razor. And Magnus drops him, the end result of his Crushing Grip. Razor to his feet and staring him down again, and a big headbutt! Razor going for a punch and Magnus blocks and throws one right back! And elevates him into a Belly to Belly Suplex!! Going for the cover, but Scott kicks and right back to staring him in the face.
Simon: Scott's doing a good job of showing he's not intimidated by him, but it'd be more effective if he also tried to hit him more than once, which is what I used to think that the Extreme song was.
Kendra: You mean "More Than Words"?
Simon: Well I know that NOW.
Colin: It's...the...title...nevermind. But you are right that Razor really needs to get a hit in, as Magnus punches him right in the skull. Scott headbutts him back again. I feel like we've seen this play out. And Razor drops him with a Uranage! OKAY NOW we have a fight! Scott pulls him up for a ripcord NO MAGNUS HAS HIS HAND ON SCOTT RAZOR'S THROAT AND THAT ONE HANDED CHOKESLAM JUST DRIVING RAZOR TO THE GROUND!! Going for the cover again-
1!
2!
3!
Magnus wins by Pinfall!
Ash: And here is your winner, MAGNUS!
Kendra: And Razor showed an incredible sense of resolve and toughness, but he tried to bring a big man game to a bigger man and it just didn't work out for him today. And you can see a fire in Razor's eyes. This isn't over between these two competitors.
Colin: Apparently this isn't the whole story either, as earlier this went down-
Security camera footage catches Scott walking from the car area towards the arena-
-when two cars charge him, sandwiching him in between them.
Colin (OC): As you can see, Scott took an early rib and back injury from this accident and-
Kendra (OC): That was no accident Colin, look who the two drivers were!
Simon (OC): They're just climbing on their roofs and throwing stereo punches at Scott! And now they're punching at each other as well! Scott PUSHING HIMSELF OUT OF THE SANDWICH AND THROWING CODY INTO CHRISTIAN'S WINDSHIELD! AND CHRISTIAN INTO CODY'S WINDSHIELD!! HE BROKE HIMSELF FREE!
Kendra (OC): Scott Razor came out of that looking strong but definitely nursing his back a little, which makes sense that he was a little stiffer in the ring today.
Colin (OC): And not really going for those big slam moves either. You could see in that much that he wasn't using his full arsenal. Of course he wouldn't tell you that or make excuses, but the tape shows some certified pre-owned bruises going into that match.
Kendra (OC): As we're already looking into the recent past, our new Inferno Champion Manta Ray had this to say earlier:
A quiet beach at sunset. The sky is drenched in orange and pink. Waves crash steadily in the background. Manta Ray stands barefoot in the surf, the Inferno Championship draped over his shoulder, glistening in the last light of day.
Manta Ray (soft, almost stunned at first):
“Sometimes... we swim so hard, for so long, we forget what we were chasing.”
He looks down at the belt, brushing a hand over it. His mask is torn from the match—stitched hastily, a mark of battle. He looks up, voice finding power.
Manta Ray:
“I didn’t climb that cage for glory. I didn’t fly through the sky for gold. I did it because someone tried to take my fight away. Because someone thought I didn’t matter. Because La Sangre Maldita... thought they could write the ending to my story.”
He steps forward, water splashing against his ankles.
Manta Ray:
“This—” he lifts the Inferno Title high above his head “—is not just my redemption. It’s OURS.”
Manta Ray (with passion):
“For every underdog. Every kid in the bleachers who hears they’re too small. Every fighter told they’re not strong enough. Every dreamer gasping for breath under the weight of the world… THIS IS YOUR CHAMPIONSHIP!”
Cut to flashbacks: Young Manta in early matches getting beat down. Bloodied. Broken. But always crawling forward. Then—images of him soaring, diving, surviving. That insane Shooting Star into the Venom Spike.
Manta Ray (voice over):
“I am not the biggest. I am not the loudest. But I will ALWAYS fight. Because tides turn. And when they do... even giants fall beneath the waves.”
Back to the beach. Manta drops to one knee and places the title gently in the sand.
Manta Ray (calm, emotional):
“I dedicate this to the ones who were counted out.
I’m not here to be the hero...
I’m here to prove that we never needed saving.”
The camera slowly pulls back as Manta stands tall, championship over one shoulder, the ocean wind tugging at his wetsuit. A final wave crashes behind him, and the screen fades to black.
Text fades in:
Cut to: A concrete-walled locker room, post-match. Gear bags are flung around. Davy Boy’s gold-trimmed boots lie abandoned by the bench. Sombras leans in shadow against a pillar. Tragedeigh stands center—trying to pull them together.
Tragedeigh (defiantly):
“We’re not done. You hear me? This isn’t where we break. It’s where we rebuild. You both want your revenge? Then get in line. I’m not asking. I’m leading.”
Davy Boy (seething, sitting hunched forward):
“Lead? You?”
He lets out a short, humorless laugh.
“You’re not even championship material. You’re a tiebreaker miracle and a theater kid with glitter rage.”
Tragedeigh (eyes flaring):
“At least I didn’t get outwrestled by a man soaked in aquarium water and hope.”
Sombras:
“The door is opening... and we’re wasting time clawing at each other like rats on a sinking ship.”
Davy Boy:
“There you go again with the doom talk! Always with the door, the whispers, the cryptic crap. You sound just like Mal Sangre!”
That stops the room cold. Sombras slowly lifts his head. The tension tightens like a drawstring.
Sombras:
“I am nothing like Mal Sangre.”
Tragedeigh (cutting in):
“Maybe not. But we’re starting to forget who we are. And Gravewater? He wants us like this.”
And then—everything changes.
The lights die.
A low hum buzzes from the ceiling. Sparks fall. The locker room TV screen turns on by itself. Static. Glitches.
And then—he’s there.
VERNON GRAVEWATER, staring sideways through the screen, like he’s peeking through a hole in reality.
Vernon (voice layered like snakes whispering):
“You blame each other... because none of you can accept what’s coming.
You weren’t beaten.
You were shed.
Like old skin.”
Quick flickers on the screen—images: Davy Boy bleeding in the ropes. Sombras on his knees. Tragedeigh clutching her broken mask. Then… the Mirror Door symbol flashes.
Vernon (smiling slowly):
“I don’t need to corrupt you.
You’re already haunted by the parts of you that believe me.”
Static surges—then one final warped image:
TRAGEDEIGH in black robes. Crown of thorns. Her reflection… laughing without her.
The screen shatters. Glass across the floor. Lights return.
The three of them stare at the broken screen. No one says anything.
Davy Boy (after a long silence):
“…I need a drink.”
Sombras (low):
“He’s not trying to control us. He’s trying to divide us… so he can feed.”
Tragedeigh (soft, steady):
“No.
He’s trying to make us choose.”
Cut to Black.
Colin: La Sangre had probably one of their worst nights at Mayday in some time, and you can see they still haven't recovered from that. You can really feel the loss of Ralph Silva in that locker room.
Kendra: Well they're gonna have to get it together if they are going to beat the team later of Manta, Dagger, and El Cerrador, which can I just say that everything about that steel cage match that led to this was crazypants? Especially that ending though - Ace Anarchy had the longest title reign of 2025 so far, dating back to Heart Condition, and Davy Boy cost him that belt by taunting the other man in the match, Manta Ray...and Manta Ray didn't even realize he'd won the match after hitting Steve Thunder's finisher off the top of a cage.
Simon: I can't wait to see the What Four Match at International Incident that's gonna put those stories to rest! But before we see those folks square off tonight, we got another match to go through.
Colin: (flatly) And it's Ragnarrr vs Thor. Yay.
Kendra: Oh don't be like that. Do these two fight a lot? Sure, undoubtedly. But they bring it each time.
THOR VS RAGNARRR
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Ragnarrrr enters the arena driving a fancy vintage car.
Ash: First! From 9ja, weighing in at 176 pounds, RAGNARRR!!
Ragnarrrr is wearing a fancy cowboy leather attire decorated with tassels On Ragnarrrr's side walks a very attractive diva Lights start to flicker all across the arena as Ragnarrrr gets in the ring.
Lightning forms around the arena as Thor stands on the top of the titantron.
Ash: And his opponent! From Belize, weighing in at 245 pounds, The King of Kings, THOR!
Thor rides the zipline into the ring-wait-oh no!
Colin: There's that Ghost Mask again and Thor's ZIPLINE IS BEING CUT!! THOR GOING FOR A RIDE ALL THE WAY INTO THE RING AND INTO THE WAITING ARMS OF RAGNARRR! RAGNARRR CATCHES HIM INTO A RAGNARRRBOMB!!! EAGNARRR FOR THE PIN-
1!
2!
3!
Ragnarrr wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, RAGNARRR!!
Thor grabs a microphone.
Thor: PSYCHO SUPREMACY! I SAW THINE SPIRIT MOST CRIMSON AND HIS IGNOBLE - DARE I SAY OUTRIGHT BARBARIC - REMOVAL OF MINE MODALITY OF TRAVEL TO THE BATTLE ARENA THUS PREVENTING AND REVERSING MY VICTORY! WELL, FOUL CREATURES, THE SNAKE ROTTETH AT ITS HEAD, AND SO THOU NERO, HE WHO DECLARES HIMSELF SUPREME, SHALL ANSWER FOR THIS TRAVESTY AT YON INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT! I SHALL SMACK THEE DOWN WITH THE FORCE OF A BILDERSNIPE AND DINE ON THINE BONES AS I CLIMB THE TRUSS TO THE GOLD OF THE ASYLUM!
Colin: Translation?
Kendra: He saw Red Ghost cut the wire costing him his match and is now demanding a fight with Nero for the possibility of the Asylum Title.
Simon: And he's going to dine on some bones apparently. I don't know what a Thine is but it sounds tasty.
Kendra: I'm surrounded by idiots. Well, onto the next match.
LA SANGRE MALDITA VS MANTA RAY, EL CERRADOR, AND DJD
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following trios contest is scheduled for one fall!
Red, Gold, and Grey smoke fills the arena. Tragedeigh raises her hands and the lights through the smoke highlight her, Sombras, and Superstar Davy Boy, posed on either side of her ready to fight.
Ash: First! The team of Superstar Davy Boy, Tragedeigh, and Sombras, LA SANGRE MALDITA!
The different colored smoke envelops each person with light illuminating them as they stare at the ring.
Colin: They are doing their best to present a unified, unbroken front, but let's see how well that sticks.
The word "DANGER" flashes on the screen. "D is for Dangerous" by Arctic Monkeys plays.
Red sirens reflect throughout the room and Dangerous Johnny Dagger stands on the apron, looking down as the crowd goes absolutely nuts.
Ash: And their opponents! First, from Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina, weighing 202 pounds, representing High Risk, DANGEROUS JOHNNY DAGGER!
He stomps and pyro in the shape of a triangle forms around him. He looks up and the triangle pyro explodes outward. He runs at a full sprint towards the ring then without breaking stride slides in. He hits the mat with his fists and lets out a scream, at which time the fans cheer.
Colin: Dagger, former tag champ, not quite a hometown hero but a child of North Carolina and these fans have full support of him.
Kendra: And he chose to come out first because this team has the least truck with him, so he can neutralize LSM a bit rather than risk Manta getting jumped.
Simon: That's true teamwork! Gotta love it.
The arena is bathed in warm golden and red lights, colors that symbolize strength, passion, and Mexican pride. As the song builds, flickers of green, white, and red (the colors of the Mexican flag) pulse across the arena, giving the entrance a nationalistic touch while highlighting his connection to his roots. Smoke & Fog: As the music picks up, a thick fog fills the entrance ramp. Through the haze, El Cerrador emerges.
Ash: And his partners! First, from Tepito City, Mexico, weighing in at 245 pounds, he is the Aries Champion, EL CERRRRADOR!
His silhouette is now visible—tall, powerful, and purposeful. He holds up his title then walks to the ring high fiving fans.
Kendra: His win of that title was not without controversy, as there was a whole army of masked individuals who broke the previous champ before Cerrador locked in his hold.
Colin: Look, I don't wanna be that guy, but that was technically legal. When you step into a no DQ situation, anything can happen.
Blue light swaths the arena and the crowd rises to their feet cheering. One section starts the Wave.
Simon: This capacity crowd is feeling the Undertow take them and they are happy to be swept up in it! Hell, I'm swept up in it!!
Manta Ray pops up onto the stage and plumes of blue fire surround him as he holds up the title to insane cheering.
Kendra: The champ is here!!
Ash: AND! From Los Profundidas del Mar, weighing in at 187 pounds, YOUR Inferno Champion, MAAAAAAAANTA RRRRRAY!!!
Manta runs down the ramp high fiving the audience then does a twisting flip jump clearing the apron and ropes into the ring. He holds up his belt to immense cheers. The crowd starts a chant of "ICE CAN SUCK IT!!" with rhythmic clapping, and despite the fighters' differences, all of them show support to this and egg the crowd on.
Colin: The wrestling fans reminding us all that Wrestling is a world sport and would not be nearly as amazing if it were constrained to only Americans.
Kendra: We do have a team fighting later that may disagree with that sentiment, but they can also suck it.
The moment of unity is broken by Superstar Davy Boy and Manta Ray staring each other down. The others make their way to the apron as the bell rings.
Colin: Manta and Davy Boy gonna kick us off here. Davy Boy whips Manta off the ropes, Manta ducks the clothesline, and back around for a huracanrana! Going for the early pin-
1!
Kendra: Davy kicks at 1 and ripcords Manta up into a spinning Spinebuster!! Davy now going for a quick end-
1!
Simon: MANTA REVERSES INTO A VICTORY ROLL! But Davy breaks free with no count and Manta already on the run before Davy can get to his feet, coming back around and backflips over Davy to come around the other way and tilt-a-whirl headscissors! Going for the cover again-
1!
Colin: Davy's up! You really are going to need to get more of a momentum going and more steady beatdown before finishing either of these two off, but Manta to his feet with a jumping side kick and he's up on the ropes, ohhh I think we're getting a Riptide Ropewalk, and coming down into the headscissors! Going for the pin AGAIN! And not even a 1 this time! We JUST went over this.
Kendra: Davy Boy tagging in Sombras, Sombras with a running bulldog to Manta. Manta realizing a tag might not be a bad idea himself, going over, and NO Sombras German Suplexes him back towards the center of the ring. Manta lands on his shoulderblades, oh quickly backflips back to his feet and slides under Sombras, Poison Rana! Not often that you can outspeed Sombras! He tries to keep that momentum going and going for Shining Wizard WHOA Sombras catches him into an O'Connor Roll!
Simon: Manta kicks out of it easily but that did serve to break his momentum a little, but only for a moment and float-over Snapmare to Sombras! He doesn't want to give Sombras the chance to get up and he wraps him around!! REEF KNOT!!! He's got the Reef Knot locked in! Sombras is in a hell of a situation now, trying to move this morass over to the ropes, and Tragedeigh and Davy Boy...hesitating a little? Sombras is in deep trouble, now's not the-
A creepy laugh comes over the loudspeaker and the Titantron shows a tiled version of the Madness logo dripping in mud.
Colin: Tragedeigh can't look away from the logo! Davy Boy throws his hands up in frustration and jumps down off the apron! AND SOMBRAS IS LEFT ALONE IN THE REEF KNOT! It's too much!! Sombras taps!!!
Manta Ray, Dangerous Johnny Dagger, and El Cerrador win by Submission from Manta Ray to Sombras!
Ash: Here are your winners, Manta Ray, El Cerrador, and Dangerous Johnny Dagger!!
Johnny and Cerrador each hold one of Manta's arms up.
Simon: Did El Cerrador or Johnny do anything to be given the win here too?? It was the Manta show!
Kendra: Johnny and Cerrador were very clear even from Mayday that their role was to protect Manta from getting jumped. This was always meant to be Manta's fight, and he showed everyone today as he has been for the past few weeks that he's more than someone's cousin, he's a champion, and after Mayday he has the gold to prove it.
Colin: And La Sangre Maldita are definitely looking more and more disheveled every week. Something's bound to give in their dynamic, the frustration in Davy Boy is evident, and without Silva to right the ship they are heading right into a mountainside at this rate.
Simon: But we're going to continue on with the creepy apparently, as Jacen "The Heretic" Tarot is preparing to make an explosive debut in his match against The Solemn Guardian.
Kendra: He's promised the Death card to Solemn, and I almost wish that it'd be a Casket Match.
The titan tron flares up and The Mysterious Steve shows up on screen.
Steve: I'm not a genie, I'm a magician, but that doesn't mean I can't grant what you're wishin'!
Steve waves his wand and disappears from the screen. Techs start to wheel a casket out.
Kendra: I said almost!
Colin: I hate everything about what just happened.
Simon: It could be worse.
Colin: How.
Simon: He could have said "a tisket a tasket, here comes your casket."
Colin: Get out.
CASKET MATCH
SOLEMN GUARDIAN VS JACEN "THE HERETIC" TAROT
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is a Casket Match! The only way to win is to put your opponent inside the Casket and close the lid.
Black smoke covers the front view as Solemn Guardian walk out carrying a tome like a bible. Ominous bells and ringing with the hiss of snakes the caws of ravens and soft chanting can be heard.
Ash: First! From Huntingon, West Virginia, weighing in at 165 pounds, The Solemn Guardian!!
The purple smoke follows him down the ramp.
Kendra: Guardian has been on an absolute tear recently, defeating Moon and Blood Drawn at Mayday. But now he's facing a brand new enemy.
The arena is suddenly swallowed by darkness. The energy from the crowd fades into a tense silence as every light in the building shuts off. Only the faint hum of electricity can be heard. The sound of an ominous crow echoes through the arena. The screen flickers to life with the image of a dimly lit fortune teller’s table. A mysterious fortune teller, draped in shadowy veils and surrounded by candlelight, slowly flips a tarot card—revealing The Death Card.
Smoke swirls around her as the haunting melody of “Oblivion” by Lo Key begins to play. The beat grows louder and darker, syncing with the rhythmic pulse of lights flickering in the arena. Jacen Tarot steps into view, from the darkness.
The only light follows him from behind, casting a long, eerie shadow across the stage. He wears a black leather jacket.
Hand in hand we walk with you now.
Jacen stands at the top of the ramp with his arms out in a T position as he tilts his head slightly.
Oblivion accept us now, Forgive us for all that we are.
Ash: And his opponent, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 245 pounds, JACEN THE HERETIC TAROT!
Jacen Tarot approaches the ring slowly, eyes cold and calculating. He slides under the bottom rope with a deliberate, smooth motion, rising to his feet in the center of the ring.
Into the gates of Shadowland… We walk now
The beat to the song picks back up. As the lights flicker again, he stands motionless, his arms extended wide, head tilted back slightly, embracing something not seen. He makes his way over to the corner and sits in it on the mat.
The bell rings.
Kendra: The arena feels like a ritual and the ring feels like a sacrificial altar. These two staring each other down, staring to the mutual abyss of each others' eyes. They lock up, Solemn Guardian with a huge Irish Whip to the ropes, Jacen ducks the rebound clothesline back around the other side and springboards into a clothesline of his own! Jacen continuing the run and a huge elbow drop to the supine Guardian.
Colin: Guardian sits up quickly, but Jacen back around and a basement elbow strike takes Guardian back down! This is the most we've seen Guardian in trouble recently! Guardian sits up AGAIN and turns his head to Jacen Tarot.
Simon: Guardian makes his mark in being scary and foreboding, but to someone else playing in the occult, that's a Tuesday. Guardian's gonna have to switch up his tactics a little bit. Tarot throws two punches and goes for the enziguiri OH but Guardian ducks and scoops him into a body slam! Okay! Now he's getting somewhere!
Kendra: Guardian off the ropes and stops Tarot from rising with the axe kick! Stops him rising again with a double axe handle! And he's going to get him up into that Samoan Drop he calls the Conciliation and HOLY MOLY TAROT PUSHING HIS FEET BACK TO THE GROUND AND GETS GUARDIAN INTO POSITION FOR AN INVERTED FRONT POWERSLAM!
Colin: You can feel Guardian start to get frustrated but he hooks Jacen's head for a running bulldog on the way up and brings him back down! Guardian knows he's going to have to do more damage than this to keep Jacen Tarot down, and he pulls him up to his feet for a rollicking side suplex. He whips Tarot off the ropes and into a Chokeslam! He drags him by the hair towards the Casket and pulls him up for the Holy Precipice NO! JACEN TAROT HOOKS THE ARMS AND BLASTS GUARDIAN WITH A DRAGON SUPLEX! TAROT OPENS THE CASKET!
Simon: Tarot looks like he wants to get this one wrapped up, wait, he's going to the top rope and he absolutely comes down with a Leg Drop! I guess that makes sense, soften Solemn up to make him an easier roll and wait he's going up again... now he really should finish him off, Tarot might be getting a little overconfident SOLEMN TO HIS FEET AND SHAKES THE ROPES! TAROT FALLS INTO THE OPEN CASKET!
Colin: Solemn may have just stolen this one from under the feet of Jacen Tarot, struggling his way to the Casket and leaning in as he pushes it down....and this...could...TAROT SHOOTS THE LID OPEN WITH ENOUGH FORCE TO KNOCK SOLEMN BACK! It ain't over yet!
Kendra: Jacen Irish Whips Solemn into the Corner....going for a run and a Giant Splash. That's gonna wreck Solemn Guardian for sure.
Colin: Solemn staggering out of the corner and Tarot going for a back suplex HOLY PRECIPICE BATMAN! Solemn once again looks like he's going to pull this one out of the bag.
Simon: Only problem now is they're on the opposite side of the ring from the Casket, which means Solemn is going to have to drag his kill across the plains.
Kendra: Better get moving, it's a short distance but a long haul.
Colin: You can see the debate on his face of whether to drag him by the arms or feet, but it doesn't look like it's going to matter, Jacen rising up and staring Solemn right in the eye holes.
Kendra: Ah see, you waited too long.
Simon: Maybe not, Solemn going for the Irish Whip and running after Tarot, Guardian clotheslines him onto the apron! WAIT JACEN TAROT HOOKS THE ARM, LOOKING LIKE A FISHERMAN....OH HE'S GOT HIM VERTICAL OVER THE APRON...AND HANGMAN'S RITE ONTO THE APRON!! SOLEMN ROLLS INTO THE CASKET BUT JACEN ROLLS OFF THE APRON.
Kendra: Jacen has to get up if he wants to win this! Both men are looking pretty brutalized but both men are also able to get themselves up at a moment's notice. Jacen to his feet, going to close the lid...HOLY PRECIPICE BY SOLEMN OVER THE LIP OF THE CASKET! HOLY HELL!
Colin: But he looks too beaten up to easily get out of the coffin, and he's taking a breath before trying to get out of the coffin JACEN UNDER THE APRON AND HE HAS A HEADSTONE AND HE CLOBBERS SOLEMN GUARDIAN WITH IT! AAAAAND THE LID IS CLOSED.
Jacen Tarot wins by casket closure!
Ash: Here is your winner, JACEN "THE HERETIC" TAROT!
Simon: A capstone win. A headstone win even! A win by headstone! A capheadstone...headcapstone...Capstone America?
Colin: While Simon gets his brain back in order...let's keep it going with -
Organ music hits—ominous and slow. A crimson spotlight shines down on the entrance as smoke wafts upward like incense from a cursed chapel. The fans are already booing before he even emerges.
RING ANNOUNCER:
“Ladies and gentlemen… please welcome—representing The Bored—the sanctimonious servant of judgment and self-appointed shepherd of salvation… Reverend Abner Almighty!”
Abner walks slowly to the ring, clad in his signature white suit, a gilded Bible in one hand and a mic in the other. His face is twisted with grim focus, eyes blazing beneath his silver spectacles. He enters the ring as the crowd unleashes a wave of boos.
REVEREND ABNER ALMIGHTY (snarling beneath fake calm):
"Brothers and sisters....you boo now, but your souls will SCREAM later."
He pauses, scanning the crowd like a wolf sizing up lambs.
"Each and every time I come before you, I extend a hand of salvation—and each and every time, you spit in that hand like the wicked fools you are!"
Booooo! “SHUT UP!” chants begin.
"You cheer for a devil in wolves' clothing. You raise your children on the howls of a heretic named Balor Wolfe. A man who worships false gods, and dares call them sacred?!"
He holds up the Clean Content Bible.
"Blasphemy."
ABNER (building steam, fire in his lungs):
"Balor, you call on shadows and blood, you dance in smoke and chant with snakes… but I see through your rituals. I smell sulfur in your sermons. And I say this to you—not as a man… but as an instrument of righteous correction..."
He leans over the ropes, spitting venom toward the hard cam.
"I will save this company from your rotten gospel. I will cleanse MAWL of your pagan poison. Not out of hatred—oh no—but out of mercy."
The crowd is now fully booing. Someone throws popcorn. A “YOU SUCK!” chant overtakes the arena.
ABNER (seething now, breaking):
"You mock me now… but when the flood comes, you’ll beg for my ark!"
"Go ahead—boo me out of the building! Boo your one hope! Boo the only voice daring to stand between you and the damnation you cheer for every week!"
He slams the mic to the mat and storms from the ring, red in the face as the camera catches his lip trembling with rage. A “BALOR’S GONNA KILL YOU!” chant follows him up the ramp.
BALOR WOLFE VS REVEREND ABNER ALMIGHTY
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Already in the ring, from the Bible Belt, Kentucky, weighing in at 225 pounds, the leader of the Bored, Reverend Abner Almighty!
🔥 The arena buzzes. The crowd rises. The atmosphere is electric.
🎵 "And turning all against the one, is an art that's hard to teach..."
📢 Ring Announcer (with rising intensity):
"And his opponent… accompanied to the ring by The Edge Runners, Johnny and V… by Zagreus… and by Eros and The Radio Demon, Alastor..."
📢 "From Sydney, Australia… weighing in at 230 pounds…"
📢 "HE IS THE MAWL MANIA CHAMPION…"
📢 "THE CHAMPION OF THE GODS… BALOR WOLFE!!"
🎵 "Another clever word sets off an unsuspecting herd..."
💜 (SYNC MOMENT: The bass kicks. Balor’s fingers twitch. He lifts his head. Under the mask—stillness, fury, control. The camera zooms in. It’s the calm before the storm.)
🎵 "And as you step back into line, a mob jumps to their feet..."
🔥 (SYNC MOMENT: The beat drops. Eros steps forward and kneels beside Balor, slowly removing the mask. The crowd pops HUGE as Balor’s platinum hair, lip rings, and cold stare are revealed—every inch the Champion of the Gods.)
🔥 (Alastor steps to Balor’s side, presenting the MAWL MANIA Championship belt with a sweeping, theatrical motion. Balor rises and hoists it into the lights, the arena exploding with energy. Behind him, Radio Silence stands like a dynasty born of chaos.)
🎵 "Now dance, fucker, dance—man, he never had a chance!"
💥 (Johnny, V, and Zagreus remain at the top of the ramp, watching like sentinels. Their job is done. The battle ahead belongs to Balor.)
💜 (SYNC MOMENT: Mid-ramp, Balor halts. He runs a hand through his hair, exhales... then sprints forward, belt in hand, like a man possessed.)
🔥 (He leaps onto the apron, grips the ropes, and stares out at the roaring crowd.)
💥 (SYNC MOMENT: Balor springboards clean over the top rope, landing in the center of the ring, never letting go of the title. Eros follows him in, mask in hand. Alastor climbs the steps and enters with his usual sinister poise.)
🎵 "When you walk away, nothing more to say..."
🔥 (Balor climbs a turnbuckle, one hand raising the MAWL MANIA title, the other clenched in a fist. He closes his eyes as the crowd rains down adoration and fury alike. Eros stands beneath him. Alastor leans in a corner, cane resting beside him like a blade sheathed.)
📢 (The music abruptly cuts—just as the second “You’re gonna go far, kid!” hits.)
⏳ Silence. A breath. A heartbeat.
💜 (SYNC MOMENT: The crowd takes over, roaring the chorus in unison like a war chant.)
🎵 "With a thousand lies and a good disguise
Hit 'em right between the eyes
Hit 'em right between the eyes
When you walk away, nothing more to say
See the lightning in your eyes
See 'em running for their lives!"
🔥 (Balor stays motionless atop the turnbuckle. Then—he drops down, walking slowly to the center of the ring. The smirk is there now. The storm has arrived.)
📢 (The lights return to full. Balor hands the title to Eros, who holds it proudly. Balor lowers himself cross-legged in the corner, back straight, gaze burning. Alastor stands over him like a puppet master from Hell.)
[The bell has already rung. The match is underway.]
Colin McRae: “And Reverend Abner Almighty wastes no time—he just slapped Balor Wolfe right across the face!”
Kendra Mavis: “Oh come on! He’s asking for it!”
Simon Apple: “He’s delivering moral justice, Colin! That slap was a wake-up call from the heavens!”
Colin: “Almighty's jaw is flapping again—preaching mid-match, and—he slaps him again! That smug look on his face—”
Kendra: “Balor’s not moving... oh no... that look—that look’s back.”
Colin: “Wolfe takes a slow step back… another… oh my—WHAT A CLOTHESLINE! Abner flipped in the air like he was hit by a truck!”
Simon: “That’s uncalled for! You don’t treat a man of faith like that!”
Colin: “Balor Wolfe just flattened Reverend Abner Almighty with one of the nastiest clotheslines I’ve seen this year!”
Kendra: “And here he goes—HE HITS THE HEART OF THE WOLFE! That running spear just cut the Reverend clean in half!”
Colin: “Heart of the Wolfe connects with brutal velocity—Abner’s down and writhing—and look at Balor! He’s not satisfied. He’s seething.”
[The crowd starts to swell with anticipation as Balor Wolfe rises to his feet.]
Simon: “He already proved his point! This is excessive!”
Kendra: “He’s not done. Look—he’s doing it—”
Colin: “Balor Wolfe now stands center-ring… raises both hands… palms together… lays the side of his face gently against them… that eerie calm… that slow fall of the hands—he’s signaling the end. The Lights Out Taunt has been made.”
Kendra: “This crowd knows what’s coming—and Reverend Abner’s got no clue.”
Colin: “Wolfe grabs the Reverend—hauls him up—Fireman’s Carry position!”
Simon: “Don’t do it! This man reads the Bible!”
Colin: “LIGHTS OUT!! Wolfe drives that devastating knee right under Almighty’s jaw! He folds like a sermon leaflet in a thunderstorm!”
[The crowd erupts in a mix of cheers and stunned silence as Balor Wolfe hooks the leg.]
Colin: “Here’s the cover!”
Referee: “ONE! TWO! THREE!”
[Bell rings.]
Kendra: “It’s over. That was quick, brutal, and personal.”
Simon: “That wasn’t wrestling—that was a hate crime against good taste!”
Colin: “Balor Wolfe picks up the victory, but look at his face—no celebration. No relief. Just that same cold fire in his eyes.”
[Balor stands over the fallen Reverend, eyes still narrowed. Slowly, he calls for a microphone.]
Colin: “He’s not finished yet. He’s got something to say—and here come Eros and Alastor from ringside.”
Kendra: “This just got real.”
Simon: “Great. More sinners.”
[As Balor Wolfe stands tall in the ring, Eros and Alastor join him. The tension hasn't dropped—it’s only getting heavier.]
[The ring is chaos. Reverend Abner Almighty lies in a heap on the outside after being booted from the ring like garbage. Inside, Balor Wolfe stands tall, chest heaving. Eros hands him the MAWL Mania Championship, and Alastor calmly joins them in the center. The crowd is roaring—they are with him.]
Colin McRae:
“Well… I don’t know what’s coming, but the people are standing for him—whether you like the man or not.”
Kendra Mavis:
“They’re on their feet… they’re not booing... they’re cheering this?!”
Simon Apple:
“You hear that? That’s not just a crowd—that’s a movement. This is Demon Vision rising, baby!”
Balor Wolfe (grinning, eyes wild):
“IS THIS… how you treat your top champion, huh?”'
[BIG POP. Crowd screaming.]
Balor:
“You hillbilly f*s gave me a god-fearing manager to fight?!”
[Laughs and cheers from the crowd. Some fans near the ramp already chanting “FIGHT A REAL ONE!”]
Balor:
“NEWS FLASH, Reverend—there is no god here.”
[Crowd ERUPTS. “BALOR! BALOR!” chants start breaking out. Signs wave: “GOSPEL IS DEAD,” “BALOR BLESSES NO ONE.”]
Colin:
“This place is unhinged right now—listen to them!”
[Balor looks down at Reverend’s motionless body with disgust, then contemptuously shoves him out of the ring with his boot. Crowd pops again.]
Balor (pacing, seething):
“I’m the guy. The main event. The top champion in the hottest damn company going—
And this is what you give me to fight?”
[Crowd: “THIS GUY! THIS GUY!” chant.]
Balor (snapping, voice rising):
“This—this is why we need Demon Vision running the show.”
[He throws his arm dramatically toward Alastor, who grins wide. MASSIVE POP.]
Kendra:
“Listen to them… they want it. They want Alastor in charge.”
Balor:
“A show where champions like me are respected.
Where we get challenged, week in, week out.
Not tossed into morality lessons by some hillbilly bitch who can’t even count past five!”
[Crowd: “*FK ELIIISE!* F**K ELIIISE!” (broadcast censors kick in briefly.)]
Colin:
“They’ve turned on her, Kendra. This isn’t just a promo anymore—it’s an uprising.”
[Eros hands him the MAWL Mania Championship. Balor raises it, then looks at it with disdain.]
Balor:
“When Alastor eats you alive in your little match, Elise Mae…”
[He pauses. Crowd buzzing.]
Balor (venomous):
“We’re renaming this title.”
[Gasps, then HUGE pop.]
Balor (calm now, deadly):
“Because under your pathetic reign, this symbol of glory means nothing.
And when he takes your spot… you all get the show you deserve.
Not corporate garbage.
Not fake smiles.
But warriors.
And wolves.
And demons.”
[He drops the mic. The moment it hits the mat—his theme hits.]
Colin:
“Oh my god...”
[Suddenly—LIGHTS OUT. A sea of cell phone lights blink on. Crowd screaming.]
Kendra:
“Where’d they go?! Where did they—”
[When the lights come back—Balor Wolfe, Eros, and Alastor are gone. The ring is empty. The crowd is still on their feet, losing their minds.]
Colin (low, awed):
“This isn’t just a faction anymore… it’s a revolution.”
Simon:
“And the good Reverend just got his first sermon in Demon Vision.”
[Camera lingers on the empty ring and the booed, broken Reverend outside the ropes as the crowd chants: “Demon Vision! Demon Vision!”]
Schmetterling walks into the catering area, preparing for his next match-
- And Black Saber appears with a crowbar and launches himself at Schmetterling.
Black Saber takes the crowbar and swings at Schmetterling. Schmetterling gets rocked upside the head and Black Saber hits him with a German Suplex through the catering table. Black Saber picks Schmetterling up by the throat and chokeslams him. Schmetterling takes the coffee barrel and smashes it over the head of Black Saber then gets out his blowtorch from his bag-
-and it goes black.
Announcer: Coming soon from MAWLOTOV Studios, we are excited to release MAWL's VERY FIRST Trading Card Set! This set commemorates MAWL's last year at Mall of America for the W2 taking you to all the classics of your Mallrat days. Play in the Arcade with Ace Anarchy and Dinah Soar-
Announcer: Get your swag on with JCM Ace and Davy Boy-
Narrator: Catch a movie with Wonderwolf and Tragedeigh!
Announcer: And bring home a pet with Gozu and Manta Ray.
Ash: All your favorites! And, oh yeah, this guy too-
Announcer: Collect them all! Including some amazing super secret alternates! Only from MAWLOTOV Studios.
A TV screen shows replaying the final match up of the Newbie Forest Rumble....
Simon : Tsukikage Yaiiiiiiba! and it works! She drives Elijah through the table!
Rewind sound
She drives Elijah through the table
Rewind sound
She drives Elijah through the table
Voice breaks the sound of the constant rewind.....
"Let me tell you a story!!!"
The camera aggressively turns around, seemingly startled by the voice that commanded
There sitting a little distance....hunched over the knees with book in hand....turns the page a few times Elijah In the lands of the East...this story hails.....The Thief and The king...it is so named it starts off with them catching a thief and it's king proclaimed
Your punishment will be a lesson to others
Yes, a punishment befitting the crime, cuz you! You stole from me .....you stole from me the claim of the Forest. For it was my right by the father and protector.
The sounds of whispers interrupt his rant, as the camera man looks around for where they could be coming from.....the camera refocuses to the slam of the book in Elijah's hands
As it is refocused on Elijah, his expression has changed from serious to a smile Elijah- the story of the King and the thief concludes with an enlightened king saying * as he reopens the book *
You have taken much, but you have given more! Thank you for this gift
-slams the book shut once more Elijah continues -
You my friend, have stolen but have yet given
As Anansi has found a new story, one that has risen
A bright new star, rise to one with a friend
So Anansi and I will now claim you, Aiko In Papa Bois Den! 🕷️
Colin: Apparently we're about to get a first-class ticket to Papa Boi's Den.
Kendra: Elijah didn't take too kindly to what he perceives as her stealing what was rightfully his by right of the Forest, and now he wants to make her pay.
Simon: Making someone pay to come into their house? What kind of scam is that?
Simon, Colin, and Kendra give a knowing side eye to the camera at the same time for just a moment before returning to their monitors.
Kendra: So Papa Boi's Den. What are we preparing ourselves for?
Colin: The way this works is, you have to be put through two consecutive tables. If there is an interruption in the table sequence, the count restarts.
Kendra: I guess one way to make someone pay for putting you through a table is to put them through two. Alright! Let's get it running. Down to Ash.
PAPA BOI'S DEN MATCH
ELIJAH VS AIKO
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is a Papa Boi's Den Match! The only way to win is to put your opponent through two CONSECUTIVE tables.
Visuals come on screen of Folklore creatures of the Caribbean, ending slowly with Lagahoo / Douen/ Papa Bois and finally The Midnight robber. Elijah appears at this time, book in hand.
Elijah: IT'S TIME TO TELL A STORY!
The fans cheer for this.
Ash: FIRST! From Trinidad and Tobago, weighing in at 248 pounds, the Cryptic one, Elijah!
Simon: OH! I hope it's a good story, like the one with the Mandrill and the Hypothesis.
Kendra: Anansi take me.
Elijah enters the ring. The ring area maintains a feeling of the Caribbean.
Colin: And Elijah has made this ring his home. Aiko is both welcome and a trespasser in one. Let's hope she knows what she's walking into.
The big screen cuts to backstage where Rina, Aiko's personal announcer is standing. Her infectious smile sparkles.
Rina: Introducing the beautiful and mighty fighter from Yamaguchi, Japan... The Moonblade, AIKO!!!!!!!
The cute fashionista turns, to her right where Aiko stands in traditional japanese attire, and a black paper umbrella.
"NEON BLADE" by MoonDeity hits, and Aiko now faces the camera. A cool aura and swagger emanating from her as she removes her designer glasses, and walks with zeal, and boldness towards the gorilla position and out through the entrance way stage area.
The crowd erupts into cheers of admiration, and they bounce along with Aiko as she struts to the rhythmic oriental beat.
Aiko dressed in her signature black sports top with gold accent, and kimono inspired leggings. On the stage she jumps, and gives a quick kick downward, and a high kick once she lands. She gives a display of 3 more flash kicks, an elbow strike, then spins around, and goes onto one knee, giving a Kata prayer like pose. The screen behind her shows beautiful plumes from peach blossom trees, and open japanese umbrellas spinning. Aiko's name is displayed with kanji symbols, and a rising sun logo positioned behind it all.
As the crowd continue to cheer Aiko skips down the ramp then into a rhythmic strut playing to the crowd, and arms rolling with dance movements. She stands at the bottom of the steps, and bows. Then quickly makes her way into the ring, and makes exaggerated poses and moves til her music stops.
The scene around the arena reverts to the Caribbean vibe as Aiko and Elijah face each other. The bell rings.
Colin: Elijah is going to have to combat the lightspeed offense of Aiko if he's going to hope to have a chance here. She comes in with two front kicks and a spinkick right from jump, and into a spinning backfist. Coming off the ropes for a bulldog ELIJAH CATCHES INTO A TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER! Scooping her up into a bodyslam and a second for flavor.
Kendra: Lifting Aiko up and running her into the turnbuckle with a Snake Eyes! Charging back, and looking to get Aiko with a corner splash but Aiko jumps up and a Deadly Night Shade! And Aiko rolls back and running front dropkick!
Simon: Elijah may get embarrassed in his own home! I know the feeling. My cat always looks at me like I'm the biggest fool in the pool.
Colin: I'm not going to dignify that with a response because I'm not keen to make a grown man cry unless I'm breaking up with him.
Kendra: Elijah spins back with a high knee and tries to regain control of this match. And an Irish Whip takes Aiko off the ropes and going for the Douen Strike, no Aiko ducks it and tries to come back around NOW Elijah gets her with the Douen Strike. She just delayed the inevitable. Elijah using this opportunity to roll out of the ring, and digging under for his first table OH AIKO OFF THE ROPES AND THAT KNEE IS LIFTED, WE HAVE TSUKIKAGE YAIBA!!! ELIJAH IS ALREADY HAVING NIGHTMARES ABOUT THIS MOVE AND AIKO USES IT TO FLATTEN HIM.
Colin: That's gonna slow down the table gathering! Aiko walks over the fallen Elijah and goes under the apron herself. Just rude. Wait Elijah starting to move and she didn't think this through...with a shout he explodes back up to his feet and knocks her backwards into the barricade! That's a ride you won't be getting back on line for, that's for damn sure!
Simon: She once again only delayed the inevitable as he grabs a table. Remember, you need to get two table smashes in a row to win this, this first one would get him halfway there. He's trying to figure out where to set up shop, I wouldn't take too long on this, he decides to keep it outside and sets up but she's up to her feet, running along the barricade kick and going for the Moonblade Kick NO! HE CATCHES HER WITH THE SPINEBUSTER AND THROUGH THE TABLE! ONE DOWN!
Advantage: Elijah
Colin: Now remember, if Aiko gets him through a table his count restarts. There's no banking here.
Kendra: Aiko struggling back to her feet, Elijah helps her up with a Full Nelson! He's putting that pressure on the back and shoulders! A submission isn't gonna do the job, but it is gonna weaken her upper body which will make any lifting moves incredibly difficult. He's really wrenching that Full Nelson and you can see the resolve starting to flicker just the littlest bit from Aiko... she's trying to relight it and SHE RUNS UP THE BARRICADE INTO A SALIDA DEL SOL! INCREDIBLE!
Simon: You can see she's rotating those shoulders, which is great if you're barbecuing but less positive if you're in pain. I don't think it's the first one.
Colin: Very incisive. Thank you. But you're right, Aiko definitely showing signs of the pull from that full nelson. She is going to have to be very smart about the way she plays this. Aiko trying to make her way around the corner to give herself some time before Elijah gets up. Aiko digs deep under the apron and within herself, pulling out a table from the former. She brings the table into the ring and sets it up near the corner.
Kendra: I'm not quite sure what she thinks she's going to accomplish here, but Elijah to his feet and digging for a table. Elijah opens the table and places it over the steel steps. He's looking to make a statement, HERE COMES AIKO LAUNCHING HERSELF OVER THE TURNBUCKLE AND FACEBUSTER TO ELIJAH! SHE JUST DROVE HIM THROUGH HIS TABLE ONTO THE STEPS!
Advantage: Aiko
Colin: That statement I guess was "I screwed up." And now he's back to needing to do 2 tables. Elijah peeling himself off the stairs, Aiko coming for a running splash but didn't see in time that Elijah is up and belly flop onto the stairs! Elijah picks her up and a gutwrench powerbomb onto the steps! Aiko wincing now, Elijah showing signs of wear and tear as he tries to get back under the apron. There's a perfectly good table in the ring!
Simon: Aiko struggling back up to her feet, but she gets mostly stable and she runs at Elijah...double axe handle! Scoops his head back into an inverted DDT. Right now she is in the position of power, if she can get him through one more table she takes it.
Kendra: I shudder to think how angry that'll make him.
Colin: Trying to step over him again to get a table and people never learn! He pulls himself into a seated position and gets himself under her...lifting her up into an electric chair OH she tries to go back into a poison rana but he stays firm on his feet and an Alabama Slam!
Kendra: We talked about her speed game but it only works if he doesn't already have hold of her. Being in the grips of Elijah is truly like being in the web of Anansi. Elijah gets her by the legs and slingshots her into the barricade and just pounding on her over the barricade. And bodyslam into the barricade. It's true devastation in here between these two with little sign of stopping.
Simon: Elijah getting a table as Aiko having the hardest time getting off the barricade...oh he lifts her with one hand and opens it under her with the under! He...he's preparing her like a fish! He...he's going back into the ring!
Colin: He's going to the top turnbuckle, oh this is just unnecessary AND A COUP DE GRACE! HE JUST MUSHROOM STOMPED HER THROUGH THE TABLE!! And I think she just coughed up some blood from her head still being on the barricade!
Advantage: Elijah
Kendra: Let this be a lesson everyone...do not piss off Elijah. Aiko would be smart to just call it now, which of course means she won't because no one in this locker room knows how to just stay down.
Simon: Well, Elijah just needs one more table and he can end this madness. He lifts Aiko up and tilt-a-whirl headscissors! Aiko digging under the ring now...this normally wouldn't be like her but these types of matches require more aggressive approaches and ghosting the rules a little! Wait...she's grabbing her phone? Did she drop her phone while digging for the table? For that matter, why didn't she leave it backstage?
Kendra: I don't know but she's saying something in Japanese and ELIJAH SAYS NO PHONE CALLS WHEN THERE'S A MATCH ON! HE STRAIGHT UP SNAKE EYES HER ON THE BARRICADE! Grabs her phone and launches it into the audience!! And throwing her into the ringpost! Aiko crumples! Who do you think that call was to OH MY GOD THAT'S AIKO'S CAR DRIVING DOWN THE RAMP AT FULL SPEED! ELIJAH JUST GOT HIT BY A CAR!! AND...RINA WAVES OUT THE WINDOW AND BACKS UP THE RAMP! You do. What you. Gotta. Do.
Simon: Both competitors absolutely laid out. Unbelievable.
Kendra: These fighters, both in MAWL at large and these two in particular, treat every match like it's a PPV.
Colin: Aiko gets to her feet...very slowly but she's up before Elijah is. Hobbles under the arena and pulls out a table. She sets it up outside and...she rolls back in! She realizes that she has a table fully set up! What does she plan on doing...oh! She takes that table and places it fully opened over the apron! Back outside and puts one on the other!!
Simon: I get the strategy! There are two consecutive tables there! If she can get him through both she seems to think that she can take the match right then and there. And Elijah rolls himself into the ring. Elijah only needs one of those to win, Aiko is seriously making a gambit here. Aiko looking to put her plan into play and Irish Whips him to the ropes and he latches on! She says good enough and charges - OH HE CATCHES HER WITH THE BACK BODY... UNBELIEVABLE! SHE'S ABLE TO STOP HERSELF ON THE APRON! SHE TRYING NOW TO PULL HIM OVER WITH THE SUPLEX, OH SHE'S STRUGGLING A BIT AND HE PLANTS HIS FEET, HE'S TRYING TO LIFT NOW BUT SHE PLANTS HER FEET ON THE ROPE AND PULLS HIM BACK NO A HEADBUTT SENDS HER STUMBLING BACK AND THIS COULD BE BAD AS SHE'S LOSING HER FOOTING ON THE APRON AND INCHING DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO THE TABLES AND LEANING SLIGHTLY OUT OF HIS REACH HE'S LOADING BACK AND COMING FOR THE CHARGE AND SHE DUCKS AND HEADBUTTS HIM IN THE RIBS STEPPING UP ONTO THE SECOND ROPE AND STRAINING TO PULL HIM OVER AND SHE MIGHT DO IT YES! SHE IS SUCCESSFUL IN PULLING THE SUPLEX OVER THE ROPES AND PUTS ELIJAH THROUGH BOTH TABLES!! THAT OUGHTA DO IT!!!
The crowd goes nuts and Aiko raises her hand in victory, leaning with heavy breath over the rope.
Everyone waits with bated breath.
There is silence and the crowd slowly simmers down to a confused murmur.
Kendra: Now, the fans are confused. I'm confused. Aiko is confused and more than a little frustrated.
Ash: The referee has determined that per the bylaws of this match, as it was one slam it only counts for one table.
Simon: WHAT??
Ash: The official ruling is ADVANTAGE Aiko.
Aiko puts her head in her hand and runs her hands through her hair, looking up in frustration.
Colin: Well... Elijah is ruled as still in this competiton. And he gets Aiko by the neck and lifts her up...CHOKESLAM THROUGH THE FARSI ANNOUNCERS' TABLE.
Advantage: Elijah
Kendra: Aiko has nothing left in her tank. Elijah sets up a table and REVERSE CHOKESLAM! ELIJAH GETS HIS REVENGE!
Elijah wins by table elimination!
Ash: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, THE CRYPTIC ONE, ELIJAH!!!
Simon: Elijah gets his revenge! He gets the glory of remaining chosen. He can walk to his next match in peace.
Colin: Well next week he will be part of a Four Suits Gauntlet and at International Incident...
The lights go out and a single Red Balloon drifts lazily into an arena. Then three red balloons show up.
The screen changes and goes more polaroid and old-timey, ultimately resulting in-
The balloon lands on Eli's nose then pops.
The lights go back on.
Colin: What was that you said about walking to his next match in peace?
Simon: I...wow.
Kendra: And Stitches will be in a war with WildFire later. But we've got a lot more card to get to before we get there.
Colin: Up next we have a team desperately trying to not be in disarray and to actually work together as Psycho Supremacy works as a full unit for the first time in at least a month I believe.
Simon: Is it a full unit? Red Ghost isn't part of the lineup.
Kendra: Red Ghost has been cut off from the team since screwing Nero out of the title at Mayday. Making matters worse, just earlier today Ghost put Nero in Thor's crosshairs.
Simon: I mean, do we know for sure it's Ghost? The whole Saber reveal proved that masks confound everything.
Colin: What, do you think it was another intern?
Simon: No but-
Kendra: (laughing) Maybe it was Rufus... or Jassy. Could you imagine?
Simon: I just...it doesn't seem like an inside job. I personally think Saber had something to do with this too.
Colin: Oh. (Beat) I mean. I guess it's possible.
Kendra: Huh.
Colin: Well, for now we know three things. One, Ghost is not in their lineup right now. Two, The rest are fighting in a 5 on 5 elimination against some crazy peeps in the Venom Cartel and Spirit Crusher. Three, They may not have gotten the Eurasian Belt but they're rocking those trios belts.
Kendra: Ash, ring us in!
SURVIVOR SERIES ELIMINATION TAG
THE PSYCHO SUPREMACY VS SPIRIT CRUSHER AND VENOM CARTEL
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is an elimination tag match!
Smoke fills the arena and in particularly at the doorway. Five shadows stand dominantly throughout and as the smoke clears, we see The Psycho Supremacy standing tall and united.
Ash: First! The team of Psycho Supreme Nero, Sassssy Jassy, and the Trios Champions Tides of Time, Rufus Reeve, and Bloodswan! They are...The Psycho Supremacy!
Simon: They are as the song says, Here to Stay, Break it down.
Colin: From the outside observer, you can't notice a kink in their armor. And that might be one thing that makes this team so dangerous - no matter what squabbles and issues they have, it only rarely rears its head during competition.
Kendra: Right! The one exception I think I saw was Jassy getting eliminated when Thunder and Donner and all them were fighting them, but beyond that, they were a well-oiled machine in that match.
Colin: Well to be fair, it's easy to seem well-oiled when one person is doing all the work.
Kendra: True.
The light goes down and green lasers and smoke float around, and Bowen stands in the center with Donna Matrix and Diana Dresden on either side.
Ash: Their opponents! FIRST, the team of Bowen Baneclaw, Donna Matrix, and Diana Dresden, THE VENOM CARTEL!
Donna cracks her whip as they storm down the ramp to boos. Diana gets in random fans' faces.
Kendra: It looks like Donna Matrix has forgone her usual rant about breaking reality and all of that and they're just coming looking for a fight.
Colin: The first time we saw Donna this year was her fighting for a title and Dinah Soar was one of her opponents in that. Now here they stand, side by side, and it's clear that Psycho Supremacy is going to have a lot to contend with here. And this is just part of the puzzle, as the other part is about to join us as well.
Fog machine, candles and 18th century street lamps adorn the entrance way. Titantron/screen shows images of leeches, pre-20th century surgery, anatomical drawings, plus short video clips of Blackheart performing submission moves and ringing a hand bell in full plague doctor uniform. From this hand bell, Damian arrives, jar of leeches in hand. Shadow Kawashima walks stoically behind him, title belt on each of his shoulders.
Ash: And their partners! They are the MAWL Tag Team Champions - The Empiric Damian Blackheart, Shadow Kawashima - SPIRIT CRUSHER!
Colin: Spirit Crusher won the title at Mayday with more than a little help from Mal Sangre, putting an unfortunate cap on La Sangre Maldita's very bad day, but then were met with an unwelcome surprise as their old foes managed to pull out a truly shocking victory in the Danger Room Match. I'm talking of course about Los Heroes de la Calle with El Gallito Loco's statement win.
Kendra: And Spirit Crusher have gotta be feeling some sort of way about having to deal with Los Heroes again after that was presumed to be put to bed, but also pretty confident that their first defense is against a rooster and a turtle.
Simon: Well that rooster proved you can't count your chickens before your match, so I hope that Spirit Crusher took from that the need to stay on target. But that's a conversation for International Incident, and right now they have their work cut out for them in this elimination match. And we're set to start Nero vs Damian, leader to leader. Nero no doubt wanting to prove to his team he's still the one to follow.
The bell rings.
Colin: Immediate chaos as both Jassy and Diana blind tag themselves into the match, bewildering both Nero and Damian.
Kendra: We know that there's been some leadership squabbling in the Psycho Supremacy but we were JUST talking about how Supremacy is a well-oiled machine. That has to be a record for me eating my words.
Simon: Jassy had made note that it was her doing that the team was even in the trios match and clearly she sees herself as a much fitter leader.
Colin: Jassy and Diana, the chaotic firecrackers on their relative teams, are circling each other like a knife fight between two rival gangs in the 1980s.
Simon: Taaaaaake ooooon meeee
Colin: Get to the part where you'll be gone in a day or two.
Kendra: The lock up-and Jassy with the slap to the face! The disrespect and Diana goes for a punch back but Jassy grabs her arm into an inverted one-arm shoulder throw. Diana tries to get up and Jassy kicks at her knee. That's smart playing - Diana had been rehabbing that knee so it's in better shape than it had been, but injuries like that are always just a wrong land away from coming back.
Simon: And you would know?
Kendra: That's why I'm sitting here instead of in there. But I like it here, and unlike Bianca I actually plan to stay in this seat.
Colin: Jassy indeed has not forgotten about this injury and she is stomping out at the back of the knee. Just brutalizing Diana and Diana lets out a yelp of pain and anger mixed together. Panger? She's calling on the Power of the Panger and trips Jassy down with a sweep from her good leg! Grabbing hold of the legs and she's elevating the Boston Crab on Jassy! Jassy did not see that coming! And Jassy letting out a yelp but gets to the ropes.
Kendra: What a turn of events! Jassy had been dominating but everything can change in a flash! Jassy trying to tag out and Diana German Suplexes her away!! What a solid move, but one that came with its own issues for Diana as putting pressure on that leg is looking to be a problem once again.
Simon: AND JASSY RUSHES FORWARD WITH A CHOP BLOCK! DIANA KNEEDS TO GET OUT OF THERE! Jassy coming for the small package rollup-
1!
2!
3!
Diana Dresden is eliminated by Sasssy Jassy!
Colin: Diana Dresden's bad knee once again costing her her time in the spotlight and she is out of this match. Smart playing by Jassy.
Donna Matrix enters the match.
Kendra: Donna Matrix enters the match right into a snap fisher suplex by Jassy! Bridging for the pin BUT DONNA MATRIX REVERSES INTO A CRUCIFIX PIN!
1!
2!
3!
Sasssy Jassy is eliminated by Donna Matrix!
Colin: WHAT?? WHAT??
Simon: Donna Matrix events the score and Sassy Jassy can Sass no more.
Colin: Once again Jassy does the work for her team, and once again they don't step in when she hits the mat. You may not like Jassy but you gotta feel for her. And she's not sticking around this time to see what happens, as she makes her way to the showers.
Rufus Reeve enters the match.
Kendra: The best thing about Rufus Reeve being in the ring? You know he's not you.
Colin: Rufus Reeve is the best parts of Morph and Mokujin in the sneakiest part of a British tough. Even though I don't believe he's from Britain himself.
Kendra: He is in fact from Berlin.
Simon: Well she tore down his wall with that Low Blow Kick! Even a tall dude like this is going to crumple and SHE HITS THE RABBITHOLE!
Colin: Donna tags in Shadow and Rufus's day has just gone from bad to so much worse as Shadow stomps his head. Rufus tries for a sweep kick and it moves Shadow maybe half a centimeter. I would run if I were Rufus.
Kendra: Rufus goes for a punch and Shadow just catches his fist! And crushes his hand on Rufus's! Ooh that's his good punching hand! Rufus doesn't take this lying down though, gets a hold of Shadow's head, takes a jump and FACTORY SETTING! Let's see if this reboot takes Shadow out-no! Shadow kicks fairly easily. Shadow tags in Damian...SCALPEL KICK TO RUFUS! OH IT LOOKS LIKE SHADOW'S SETTING UP THE PILEDRIVER AND SHADOW IS FINDING HIS WAY TO THE TOP, THIS COULD ONLY MEAN...SPIRIT IN THE SKY! Going for the cover-
1!
Colin: Bloodswan saves Rufus with a kick to Damian's head. Where was this for Jassy? Bloodswan leaves and Damian with a knee jump to Rufus's head and trying for the pin again but this time with Swan being blocked by Shadow-
1!
2!
3!
Rufus Reeve is eliminated by Damian Blackheart!
Kendra: NOW Bloodswan is let into the ring.
Bloodswan has entered the match.
Colin: Damian seems a little overly amused by this, I don't think he's taking her seriously OH A HEADSCISSORS INTO COVER-
1!
Kendra: Damian kicks, but he's taking this much more seriously now. Bloodswan with an enziguiri stopping Damian getting to his feet! She tries it again, Damian able to duck this time and gets her into a half-nelson...OOH that's a rough backbreaker. Damian regaining control of this match, drags Bloodswan up by her wrist and Exploder Suplex!
Colin: The problem with being as petite as Swan is that you're able to be launched a distance, and when it's in the direction away from your corner your life gets a whole lot harder. Damian however is in prime position for a tag and NO Bloodswan dropsaults and pushes him back a bit.
Simon: That's smart fightin'! You may be in a position of struggle yourself, but the harder you make the fight for your opponent the better, and oh the pirouette, the jête, and that can only mean THERE'S THE KNEE! Swan just took this one all the way back! The cover-
1!
2!
Colin: DAMIAN GETS THE SHOULDER UP! Bloodswan with her Russian Ballerina training remains expressionless but you can tell there's an anger building inside her. Damian catches her with a Hidden Blade!
Kendra: You can see why both of these individuals are champions, even though the championships are not individual belts. Damian tags in Bowen, who's fresh faced and ready to do damage as he hits a running elbow on Swan. And Bowen locks in the Sharpshooter!! Swan trying to fight her way to a rope, but her options aren't great. Venom Crusher have done a great job keeping her in enemy territory and she knows she's not gonna make safe ground wherever she goes. Nero in the ring and trying to get to her but it's too late and he's gonna end up the legal man in this match.
Bloodswan is eliminated by Bowen Baneclaw!
Nero has entered the match.
Simon: It's bizarre that the team comprised of two smaller teams is working together more effectively than the team that's a full unit. The only tag that Supremacy has logged so far was Jassy tagging herself in unexpectedly. I don't know if it's ego or distrust or discord, or if Venom Crusher have just been that effective in cutting the ring in half.
Colin: It may be a bit of all of the above, but whatever it is, it's now a 4 on 2 show so Nero is gonna have to live up to his moniker if this team is going to have a chance.
Kendra: A charging headbutt is a good place to start, as he stumbles Blackheart back a bit and he BLASTS him with a Psycho Hammer! Blackheart gets flipped! Going for the pin-
1!
Colin: Damian gets his shoulder up, and he's just making a mockery of these big moves. Nero tags Tides and Tides comes in with a quick knee shot. Damian scoops him up from the knee and Spinebuster! Going for a pin-not even close. Crucifix Driver into a pin attempt again and once again no go. Damian with a HUGE Fisherman Buster and clearly just trying to get Nero to fight at this point, going for a pin to remove the last obstacle here-
1!
2!
Simon: Tides kicks! It wasn't his Of Time!
Kendra: Damian scoops him up by the waist and Gutwrench Suplex! Tides with a hot tag and Nero barrels in with running shoulder block! Damian goes down again, back to his feet and TAKES THE NEROLYZER! Going for the cover but Damian kicks easily. Nero tries again for a crucifix pin-no count and Damian with an elbow drop to the face, Damian sees Nero stuttering back and DAMIAN WITH A SCALPEL KICK! Going for the pin-
1!
2!
3!
Nero is eliminated by Damian Blackheart!
Tides of Time has entered the match.
Colin: Tides is left to his own devices and Damian whips him into the corner...tagging Shadow in and loading himself back, Scalpel Kick! Shadow gets him into a piledriver position, Damian to the top! SPIRIT IN THE SKY!! Shadow covers-
1!
2!
3!
Tides of Time is eliminated by Shadow Kawashima! Venom Crusher win!
Ash: Here are your winners - Damian Blackheart, Shadow Kawashima, Bowen Baneclaw, and Donna Matrix!
Kendra: It's an interesting full circle moment that last time Jassy was the only one eliminated and this time Diana Dresden is the only one out.
Colin: And we heard that Diddy has been arrested for smashing into the car of 50 and Jay, and that they're back in the hospital. So we are going to move to the next match.
FATAL FOUR-WAY
VIOLET VS LUCENZA ROSSI VS MAKI VS MARLA ANDERSON
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
As Violet bursts out of the gate, she finishes taping down her fists forearm length.
Ash: First! From Los Angeles, California, VIOLET!!
When she is done, she stops and throws a haymaker forward, and two pyros explode. She takes her time, touching hands with fans.
Simon: Violet doesn't choose violence. Violence chooses Violet.
Colin: I...yeah. Okay, I'll give you that one.
The lavender lights have a chasing effect going upwards before starting from the bottom again, to the clap rhythm. Many in the audience clap and hum along with the opening. When Kele begins singing "Lord give me grace", Marla Anderson appears on the stage clapping along and going from left to right engaging the crowd in it.
Ash: And her opponents! First, from Vancouver, Canada, True North MARLA ANDERSON!
As the chorus hits Marla baseball slides into the ring and climbs a turnbuckle, pointing to the sky at "Tonight make me unstoppable", with pyro of two upward arrows connecting so the rooves are fashioned like an M. The crowd goes wild.
Kendra: Marla's rocking a new more modern look and a more determined vibe, let's see if it serves her well here.
The lights go into a slow strobe alternation of red and gold, with each color accenting the other. Around the arena lights show as if they were sparkles. Lucenza Rossi emerges on the stage and breathes herself in.
Ash: Representing Zora Luthor International, from Milan, Italy, the Champion of the Catwalk, LUCENZA ROSSI!
Lucenza walks down the ramp as if it is her own private catwalk, stopping to pose at the apron as camera flashes go off, then throws her hair up and blows a kiss as she climbs the steps and enters through the ropes.
Colin: Is it me or is Lucenza more and more arrogant every week?
Kendra: You wanna talk arrogant, wait til our next person comes in.
Maki's limo pulls up and T.M. Ichiban exits first.
TM Ichiban bows dramatically as he opens the door to reveal the Headliner herself, Maki.
A girl group comes out of the limo and sings Maki’s song as they walk to the ring with a threat behind them.
Ash: AND! accompanied by her Personal Manservant T.M. Ichiban and the Maki Birds, From Ogōri, Fukoka, Japan, the Cutest in the World, the Cold-Hearted Kupidoll, The One Punch Champ, MAKI!!
Simon: She just lost the US Belt, but she still wants to be known as the One Punch Champ, and I respect that in some way.
The fans boo as she adjusts her shades and blows them off, a pursed lip of ego across her face. T.M. lifts the rope for her and she enters. The bell rings.
Kendra: Well, the One Punch Champ gets the knuckles out quickly and gets right to work dropping Violet to the ground with that straight punch. Marla stands in the way of Maki preventing the pin, and Lucenza with a low front dropkick to Marla's knees! Marla swings around and hooks Lucenza in a belly to belly hold, and sends her overhead! OH LUCENZA LANDS ON VIOLET!
Colin: Good time to remember that there aren't allies, this is a first-fall situation and you lose as much by not being involved in the fall at all as you do being the recipient of it. Lucenza gets herself off Violet and up RIGHT INTO MAKI'S BRASS KNUCKLES, OH THAT SPINS HER RIGHT INTO MARLA'S ARMS, MARLA GETS HER UP INTO THE CANADIAN BACKBREAKER AND HERE COMES THE DDT! CANUCK!! Marla goes for the pin - Maki drags her off and goes for the pin herself -
1!
2!
3!
Maki wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, MAKI!
Simon: That was ridiculous. The entrances took longer than the match.
Colin: Maki's knuckles act like a fast forward button. But Marla Anderson is going to get a chance at revenge next week.
Kendra: In the meantime, we've got a survivor series tag team match coming right at ya.
SURVIVOR SERIES TAG
M.A.M.A. VS THE DREAM TEAM
Ash: The following contest is a survivor series tag match!
Star fireworks go off as All Star Eric Vene runs out pumping his arms to cheers.
Behind him come out Alfos, Solrac, and Screech, who do a Batista stomp in unison to release fireworks behind them.
Ash: First! Captained by All Star Eric Verne, the team of Alfos, Solrac, and Screech, the DREAM TEAM!
Kendra: Team Hunky Hunks Doing Hunk Things.
Colin: I can't say I disagree.
Simon: Keep it in your pants you two. These four represent the competitive spirit and the crowd adores them.
Colin: How could you not.
The crowd takes a hard shift into booing, with the exception of some pockets of the crowd, as US Rae - the former Kylie Kruel - comes out adorned in the American Flag.
She raises up the American Flag above her head. The crowd continues to boo (for the most part).
Colin: People must really hate you if you can have them booing their flag.
She pulls it down like a magic curtain to reveal Senator Sherwood, Xander Marks, and Youngblood Patrick Riot.
Ash: And their opponents, captained by US Rae, the team of Senator Stephanie Sherwood, Southern Discomfort Xander Marks, and Youngblood Patrick Riot, More American Maniacal Action!
They all salute. The crowd (mostly) boos and they storm down the ring.
Simon: I guess it was only a matter of time before Riot and Marks found each other, and Sherwood bolsters their roster considerably. But it also makes sense why many of these people don't quite see these four as their version of America.
The bell rings!
Kendra: Captains Rae and Verne to start. Rae rakes Verne's eyes almost right away. Verne strikes her back with an elbow and tags in Solrac. Solrac attempts to Irish Whip Rae, Rae reverses it and sends Solrac into the corner, tag into Patrick. Patrick and Rae with a double exploder suplex into the corner!
Colin: Solrac rolls to the other side of the team, darts back to the corner and hot tag to bring Verne back in! Verne taking the crosstown and front dropkicks Riot into the corner! Verne pulls Riot back before he can tag out again and deadlift German Suplex! Riot rolls from the landing right back to his feet and cuts Verne's charge with a boot. Riot wasting no time lifting Verne up, bringing him to Gitmo with the Rack!! Verne is looking pretty brutalized and desperately reaching for a rope.
Simon: Wouldn't portend particularly good things for your captain to go this early.
Kendra: I agree with you, and so does Verne's teammates, Alfos charges in and plows into Riot! That'll free Verne, who could really use a tag.
Colin: He needs to get up first, and Riot deters that with a stomp. Riot pulls him into a Ripcord Back Body Drop NO VERNE LANDS ON HIS FEET AND NECKBREAKER TO RIOT! HE GETS RIOT UP AND HERE WE GO INTO THE AIRPLANE SPIN! I THINK RIOT MAY BE GETTING A RIDE ON THE SCREAMER SCRAMBLE!! MAKE ALABAMA PROUD ERIC!! AND THE MICHINOKU FINISH, PATRICK RIOT GETS SCRAMBLED!
Kendra: Going for the pin RIOT REVERSES!!
1!
2!
3!
All Star Eric Verne is eliminated by Youngblood Patrick Riot!
Simon: I don't think anyone was expecting Patrick Riot to pull that off! But here we are.
Screech enters the match.
Kendra: Screech charges and that was stupid, Riot gets him back up into the Gitmo!
Colin: You can hear the bones crunch. It's not pleasant.
Simon: Get in there and do something Alfos! Or Solrac! One of you two doofuses help your partner!
Kendra: Alfos tries to run in but Riot with a jump creates a strong wrenching sensation and that's gonna be it for Screech.
Screech is eliminated by Youngblood Patrick Riot!
Alfos is the legal man.
Colin: This just became a really rough situation for the Dream Team.
Kendra: Thank you for not saying it's a n-
Simon: Yeah, this is turning into a real nightmare for them.
Kendra: Ugh.
Colin: Riot wastes no time and sunset flip powerbomb! Pin-ALFOS REVERSES! Riot kicks out, but Alfos avoids putting Solrac in a very unenviable position.
Kendra: Alfos hits a smash mouth bionic elbow on Riot. He launches Riot into the corner, tags Solrac and huge double back body drop! Solrac goes to pick him up and possum pin by Riot! But Solrac kicks easily.
Simon: Riot grapples Solrac and spinebuster! Solrac holds his head and gets some punches in.
Colin: Neither Sherwood nor Marks have seen action yet and Rae herself was in only very briefly, so they'd do well to dispatch of Riot ASAP.
Kendra: Again, you'll get no disagreement from them, Solrac tags in Alfos and Alfos with the One Bang!
1!
2!
3!
Youngblood Patrick Riot is eliminted by Alfos!
Simon: And here comes the Senator.
Senator Stephanie Sherwood enters the match.
Colin: ALFOS GETS HER WITH THE ONE BANG!
1!
2!
3!
Senator Stephanie Sherwood is eliminated by Alfos!
Kendra: And with two Bangs, Alfos has evened the score!
Xander Marks enters the ring.
Simon: Alfos tags in Solrac, Alfos and Solrac whipping Marks off the ropes and huge boot duo! Solrac comes off the ropes and elbow drop to Xander Marks! Solrac drops a knee and just working Xander. WAIT US RAE FROM BEHIND WITH A TROPHY AND CLOCKS SOLRAC! Xander with the rollup but Alfos dropkicks him off!
Kendra: Xander tags in US Rae, US Rae with a running mushroom stomp to the ribcage of Solrac. She comes back around and goes for another, SOLRAC ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! Kick to the back of the leg of US Rae. The fight hasn't completely left his eyes, but he's struggling to get his feet and Rae bends him back in a surfboard submission, but he gets to the ropes easy.
Colin: US breaks the hold and that distance is exactly what Solrac needs to spin her around into an Olympic Slam!! Going for the pin-
1!
2!
3!
US Rae is eliminated by Solrac!
Simon: And the once surefire winners of this match have been reduced to one man. Southern Discomfort Xander Marks.
Southern Discomfort Xander Marks enters the ring.
Kendra: Southern Discomfort charges at full speed and drops Solrac to the ground with a charging clothesline! Back around but Solrac catches him out with the monkey flip! Going for the hot tag and nails it, Alfos blazes in with a running knee smash!! Marks answers with a Fisherman Suplex and the pin! NO ALFOS GETS TO THE ROPES EASILY! But Marks stomps his arm on his way up.
Colin: Continuing to stomp the arm but Alfos has one hand free, and gets the tag to Solrac! Xander didn't see it but the ref did, SOLRAC SPEARS XANDER MARKS AND THE COVER!
1!
2!
3!
Xander Marks is eliminated! Solrac and Alfos win!
Ash: Here are your winners, ALFOS AND SOLRAC!
Simon: It was a forgone conclusion that MAMA was going to win but these two have proven their mettle beyond measure. It was a rocky start for them here at MAWL but this may be the start of something.
Kendra: We've still got a bit of card to go! So let's keep it going.
JCM ACE VS LUCIANO
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
The arena darkens as Luciano's music hits, and spotlights flicker between dark red and white.
Luciano slowly walks out onto the stage, pausing momentarily to look around, sunglasses reflecting the lights.
He then confidently strides down the ramp, his intense gaze never leaving his opponent. Reaching ringside, Luciano climbs the steel steps, pausing dramatically before stepping through the ropes. Once inside, he removes his sunglasses and leather vest, revealing his heavily tattooed physique, and stares down his opponent with a cold, calculated expression.
Ash: First! From Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 294 pounds, LUCIANO!
Colin: No shortage of confidence on this one, I'll tell ya that much. He came in last week saying he'll "let us know" if he wants to stick around, but for what it's worth, he's here now.
The arena lights dim, with red and white strobes sweeping the crowd.
Ace walks down the ramp with calculated calm, his movements deliberate and his gaze unflinching.
Ace walks down the ramp with calculated calm, his movements deliberate and his gaze unflinching.
Much of the crowd boos him relentlessly, but Ace feeds off the heat with a smug, unbothered smirk.
The rest of the crowd shouts "HE'S COMING!"
Ash: And his opponent! From Florida, weighing 300 pounds, the Eurasian Champion, J! C! M! ACE!
Midway down the ramp, he stops and examines the arena, eyes fixated on the prize.
He climbs into the ring with slow, deliberate movements, scanning the arena before leaning casually against the ropes, waiting for the bell to ring, championship loosely wrapped around his waist.
Kendra: Hate him, love him, you can't deny him. The man from Florida is only one of 3 people to hold two separate championships this year and he showed very clearly that you can't keep him down.
The bell rings!
Kendra: Luciano turn around AND JCM BLASTS HIM WITH THE 3RD AVE!
Colin: This could be over before it began and Luciano rolls out of the way before the pin can be considered. It's clear that Ace wants this done and dusted as quick as possible, guess he's got someplace to be.
Simon: Ace motioning to Luciano to get back in the ring, Luciano taking his sweet ass time on the apron but steps in, ACE RUSHES WITH THE BOOT NO LUCIANO DUCKS, SPINS ACE AROUND AND SNAP SUPLEX! GOING FOR A PIN-Ace slides out easily.
Kendra: Y'all have to do more work than this.
Colin: JCM on his feet and Luciano rises up with fists! European Uppercut! Following it up with a quick jab. JCM exchanging the punch, going blow for blow with Luciano, OH JCM CUTS THE PARRY AND BLOCKS LUCIANO'S PUNCH, HEADBUTT! ANOTHER HEADBUTT! THROAT PUNCH! AND HE LOCKS IN THE POMPANO CRUSHER!!! Luciano is trying not to demonstrate his pain, trying to hold tough, tries to swing an arm at JCM but JCM evades twisting him in the process. Tries to swing from the other side, JCM has his number, and he makes it to the rope. JCM is being told to break the hold. JCM lets go but offers a quick and solid headbutt to Luciano as he does so.
Simon: Ace is mostly killer and very little filler, a very efficient match he's trying to fight, but efficiency flies in the face of resilience. JCM throws a 1-2 punch. AND A SNAP SPINEBUSTER BY LUCIANO!
Kendra: Luciano finally showing some power, some brutality behind the pretty face. Keeping on Ace now with some ground hammer fists. JCM blocks a hammer fist and punches back, trying to regain his dominance of the match. Blocks another hammer fist, punch right to the throat of Luciano! JCM finally gets to his feet and Luciano sends him right back down to the ground with an exploder suplex! JCM up and Luciano mows him back down with a running clothesline!
Colin: Luciano's shift from defense to offense is crystal clear at this point.
Simon: Maybe not, Luciano tries for the running clothesline again and JCM Ace catches him into a snap powerslam!! But Luciano hooks the leg preventing JCM from fully getting to his feet.
Kendra: It's only a momentary hold off, as JCM is up and kicking Luciano in the ribs. A much more aggressive move but maybe that's what's needed. Luciano rolls away again, you can tell the frustration in JCM is building a bit, that typically cool demeanor cracking a little bit. JCM needs to stay focused OR ELSE THAT WILL HAPPEN BELLY TO BELLY BY LUCIANO.
Simon: JCM trying to get up MOB HIT BY LUCIANO!
1!
2!
3!
Luciano wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, LUCIANO!
Kendra: JCM came, but Luciano saw and conquered.
Colin: On conquering, we have two of our biggest titans about to go face to face. Gozu had this to say:
The screen fades in from black. Rain drums steadily against rusted steel. Back inside the familiar long-abandoned chapel, graffiti over broken pews, and the cracked altar. A single candle burns on a nearby table beside a deck of worn tarot cards, the only thing on the table without a layer of dust, as if they were only just put into play. The flame flickers violently, as though agitated by a draft that isn't there.
Gozu sits in a wooden chair behind the altar. His posture is composed, hands folded, legs still, his mask half-shadowed by the candlelight. The camera holds on him.
Gozu: "Six men entered the rite of Pentacles. Five bodies left. Five souls claimed."
Gozu lifts his gloved hand and opens it, fingers spread, slowly lowering one finger at a time.
Gozu: "One... two... three... four... five... laid to rest. And who remained?"
A long pause. He lowers his hand, resting it back on his knee, eyes never leaving the camera.
Gozu: "Us."
Gozu rises from the chair with a measured grace, the floor creaking under his boots. He walks to the small table near him and, lets his fingers trail across the deck of tarot cards as if recalling a fond memory.
Gozu: "We drew a card before the match. Just the one. Didn't need more."
Gozu flips over the top card.
Gozu: "The King of Pentacles. It shouldn't surprise anyone."
Gozu picks the card from the table and holds it up to the camera for a moment, the edges frayed, the image faded. He places the card gently back on the table.
Gozu: "They said the match would test us. But pain is not our punishment, it is my purpose."
Gozu walks down the aisle now, past the shattered pews, each footstep slow and deliberate. The rain outside intensifies, and distant thunder rolls like a growl from the belly of the earth.
Gozu: "And now, Rade stands across the threshold… snarling, biting, clawing like an animal too wild to be chained. He thinks fury makes him free. But he doesn’t understand."
Gozu stops near the altar, resting both hands on its edge, head bowed slightly.
Gozu: "This is not a sanctuary. It’s a crucible. It doesn't crown kings, it burns the unworthy to ash."
Gozu lifts his head, voice deepening just a touch, the calm slipping into something more fervent.
Gozu: "And soon, I'll be adding the Asyulm title to this cricuble."
Gozu turns slowly, facing the camera full-on now. His voice grows steadier, a whisper that carries like thunder.
Gozu: "We didn’t win the Pentacles match by accident. We were preordained. Anointed in torment. The Patron Saint of Pain. And saints do not beg. Saints do not plead. Saints, ascend."
Gozu turns to face the camera directly.
Gozu: "When we meet Rade in the ring, it will not be a fight. It will be a rite. A sermon carved into skin and stitched into screams. And when it’s over, we'll continue forward. We'll take what is ours regardless of who stands in our way."
Gozu steps closer to the camera, the flickering candle casting deep shadows across his face. The light dances across the edges of his mask, catching briefly in the hollow of his eyes.
Gozu: "You’ll understand what we’ve preached all along."
A long pause. Just the sound of rain. Steady. Relentless. Somewhere in the distance, a low groan of thunder answers.
Gozu doesn't blink. His voice drops lower, no longer speaking to the audience, but through them.
Gozu: "We've whispered it in quiet corners... carved it into flesh... buried it beneath the boots of the forgotten. And still, they didn’t listen."
He leans in just slightly, the shadows swallowing more of his features, like the darkness itself is clinging to him.
Gozu: "But when the blood pools, when the canvas drinks deep and the lights dim, they'll remember. They always do. In the silence that follows suffering, truth becomes clear."
His gloved hand slowly lifts, one finger pointing to the side of his temple.
Gozu: "They'll carry it in their heads. Their bones. In the nightmares they don't speak of. That what we say... isn't prophecy."
Gozu turns away from the camera and walks towards a darkened doorway in the back of the chapel.
Gozu: "Salvation is a lie. Hope is a disease. But pain."
Gozu draws in a deep breath, like incense filling a cathedral.
Gozu: "Pain is holy."
Faint whispers can be heard slowly growing in volume and number. A gust of wind extinguishes the candle and the screen goes black, silence falling.
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE
GOZU VS RADE
Ash: The following contest is a Falls Count Anywhere Match! There are no count-outs, no knockouts, and no disqualifications!
The lights darken and fog emminates from the stage area as the opening chords of Mushroomhead - We Are the Truth strum out. Vibrant red pyro erupts from the stage as the chorus vocals start.
Gozu emerges from the stage slowly walking into view as the fog grows thicker and rolls down the ramp ahead of him. Light from behind him casts him in shilloute as he stands at the top of the ramp eyes seemingly focused on nothing. The lighting in the arena pulses red in time with the song as Gozu stalks down towards the ring slowly.
As the music builds in intensity Gozu's movements speed up. Until half way down the ramp he's in a full on sprint. Gozu dives under the bottom rope and immediately pushes himself up to his feet. The fog seems to follow him as it begins seeping out from under the ring with his arrival. Gozu's head swivels as he turns looking out at the crowd as the lights continue pulsing in time with the music.
Ash: First! From somewhere we don't know and are probably better off not knowing, weighing 320 pounds, the Patron Saint of Pain, GOZU!
Kendra: Gozu, one of the closest things we have to a Kaiju here in MAWL, a man responsible for the places we're allowed to go reducing decently, and is in the space to potentially get his first title in MAWL at International Incident. But before that, he plans to take Rade to church.
Soon the music begins to fade as Gozu stalks over to his corner to await the start of the match. The fog lingers around ringside as the lights come back up.
For a moment. Then the lights go completely out. The arena is filled with sounds of owls hooting and clocks ticking.
Simon: It never gets any easier to deal with that, does it.
Colin: It does not.
Red smiley faces show in hologram around the arena in time with the bell. Ann "Atomic" Lee steps out to the stage, illuminated only by the red glow in the dark mask that she removes from her face. Ash immediately holds their microphone down as they have learned by now their microphone is turned off.
Her smirk is illuminated by the glow of the mask. The music has kept in the ticking of the clock and bell, not so much as a skip but as a purposely extended opening.
Ann: And a man living half-lives in two realities is not whole, a man with a foot in two sides of a doorway belongs nowhere. One who tries to sell you on the idea that he is both saint and monster can never truly commit to either role and so is neither. A saint is a mere mortal who is good at three things; one, the thing they proclaim to be a saint in; two, being one of light that would be accepted by angels; and three, dying. A monster need not make such proclamation. A monster knows they are not welcome in Heaven and would not be given a sainthood. A monster is a creature of darkness.
For a long time, "Patron Saint," you had us believe that you were in fact a monster. Even I believed. But then you began speaking, and the "Monster" proved himself a Movie Monster, a Man behind a Three Ninjas Mask, a Scooby Doo Villain, a cheap and possibly corporate approximation of true horror. You made the most grievous of errors and showed us all your zipper.
Do you know what true horror is, Patron Saint? Do you know what the true night brings, what it says, and what it need not say? Do you know the tingling on the hairs of your neck that stand at attention, little soldiers fighting what will be their last battle?
A saint is good at three things. You, I will say, have admirably achieved the first criterion, you are good at causing pain. The second is between you and your God so we cannot help you there. However, if you do wish to achieve sainthood, we can assist you with your third step. The sherpa on this leg of your journey to sainthood hails from the Black Forest, and in his 355 pound frame carries the weight of the remnants of your identity, deconstructed and run through a trash compactor to create a concentrated postmodern mass of what you had everyone believe you were. This man uses no words because he needs no words beyond "Run. Or Perish."
He is der Blutsammler.
He. Is.
The keyboard finally kicks in and the appearances of the red smiley faces intensify rhythmically as a towering figure enters behind her.
Ann: RADE.
Rade walks down the ramp with Ann leading him, both illuminated mostly by the glow in the dark masks.
Ann stands in front of Rade and stares up as if being baptized from the sky. Rade spits blood upwards and it rains on her. She smiles wickedly to the camera and leaves the ring.
Simon: I hope they're getting their regular boosters. This feels like an OSHA Violation in Human Form.
Colin: Rade is going to have to adjust his approach for this match. The Tight 7 isn't going to do it with a sheer force such as Gozu.
The bell rings!
Kendra: And this match was going to originally be a standard-issue one on one but Andra made the wise call that these two aren't going to listen to her anyway, so she might as well let them rage and destroy Tokyo in the process.
Simon: It's good to know your limits. And Gozu already starting with the artillery, taking those steps and just wailing them at Rade like they were a baseball.
Colin: Rade staggers for a second, that caught him off guard, he picks the stairs back up and returns the favor.
Kendra: Like I said, destroy Tokyo. Gozu is startled for a moment but tilts his head in curiosity at Rade. And now both men charging at each other in what is sure to be mutually assured destruction, and Rade stems Gozu with the big boot! Gozu takes a roll back!
Simon: This is a good time to remind you that while Gozu is more in line strength and size wise with Rade than many of Rade's other opponents, Rade still does have 9 inches and 35 pounds on him. Which isn't much from a mass component but definitely shows in a reach component. Gozu is gonna have to get in Melee Position or Long Range Position to counterbalance this, a medium distance puts him at a disadvantage.
Kendra: Absolutely right Simon. Colin you were talking about Rade's needing to change his gameplay but Gozu has a similar issue. He's not used to being the DeVito in the Twins lineup. His most destructive opponents in MAWL to date have been Thor and Ragnarrr, and he's got 100 pounds on each of them easy. Rade's not used to fighting someone who can even close to measure up and Gozu is not used to being at the disadvantage. In some way they're both learning from this experience and it'll be a true test of who is able to more effectively and consistently adapt.
Colin: I think I have to give the edge to Gozu on that and right on cue Gozu sliding under Rade's attempt at a sequel coming off the ropes back around and a Shotgun Dropkick! Rade staggers a bit from the force of it, Gozu taking the opportunity to load himself back and here we go again a second Shotgun Dropkick and Rade is over the ropes! And this is exactly what I mean Gozu isn't afraid to fly SUICIDE DIVE HEAD FIRST AND RADE IS FULLY OFF HIS FEET!
Simon: You mess with the bull you get the Horns!
Kendra: What was it Ann called Gozu's mask? "Three Ninjas"?
Colin: A little before your time.
Kendra: Yeah well whatever it meant, Rade is feeling right now that the mask is legit and it is sharp.
Simon: Doesn't seem too bothered by it though.
Colin: Gozu's horns locked into Rade as he throws a series of brutal gut punches, Rade starting to double over but throwing some clubbing fists of his own, these two just pummeling each other.
Kendra: Anyone else this would be pummeling, these two probably can't tell the difference between this and a hot stone massage.
Colin: And Rade finally unlatches Gozu with a double axe hammer, but the horns rip the shirt along the way!
Simon: This is the first time that Gozu has shown the possibility of being in trouble. Rade picks him up by the scruff of the neck, oh but he needs to use two hands to get Gozu up and Gozu bends his knees, kangaroos at Rade's legs! Gozu rolling to the ground and rides that roll back to his feet, Gozu has to send the kesagiri in the upward with Rade!
Colin: But like I said, Gozu adapting quickly to this change and now unloading those chops upward to the neck of Rade, Rade grabs him by the arm! Ripcord into a CHOKESLAM! Oh but I think Rade may be shaking his arm off a little bit.
Simon: Ann talked a big game about Gozu being a movie monster, but I think Rade's zipper is starting to show too! And Gozu noticed. Oh that little head tilt gives me the jeebs.
Kendra: Rade approaching Gozu and Gozu pulls Rade down to meet him in the ground by that nursed arm! Gets a Fujiwara in and Rade's ego is only saved by his mask, where no one can see him wince. Rade trying to fight back to his feet, Gozu cranks that Fuji! Rade is showing signs of struggle, but Gozu is about to learn the problem with a single armbar, Rade able to get hold of a wrench and he smashes Gozu in the face with it!
Simon: Gozu is pushed to break the hold, but he knows that he's found a kink in the armor. Grabbing the arm again and brutal front kicks to it, Gozu just punishing Rade right now with those armbreakers, trying to set up the Crucifix and Rade launches Gozu over his head! Gozu crashes into the barricade! Rade appears to be catching his breath a little, again, he's trying to treat a 300 pounder like a 150 pounder, and there are physical limitations to that.
Colin: Rade pushing through them gamely and German Suplex to the top of the barricade! Gozu is watching his momentum fritter away as he now enters the crowd area and-
Kendra: Diana Dresden gets in the face of Gozu, quite possibly on behalf of SM Heartbreaker! She hits him with a lead pipe!
Simon: She has to decide if she is with or against Heartbreaker. Either way it's irrelevant, Heartbreaker may well lose the belt tonight back to whom some are calling the rightful champ. But here, in this moment, Gozu throws Diana Dresden at Rade!! We know he's not against using people as weapons, this is absurd though.
Kendra: Is it? She's used to the pain. I think she'll be fine.
Colin: Rade caught off guard by this though, and Gozu takes advantage of this moment with a cover-
1!
2!
Simon: Rade gets the shoulder up! Welcome to the match. Gozu peels Rade off the mat and Rade with a headbutt! Another headbutt! Going for that magic third and Gozu wisely evades the headbutt and lifts Rade up...he may be able to hit the Kyouki Driver!
Kendra: I can't believe it! I don't think I've ever seen someone take Rade off their feet like this! KYOUKI DRIIIIIIVER!
1!
2!
Colin: Rade up! Not his typical quick pop-up though, struggling to his feet.
Kendra: Gozu speeds up the process with a ripcord and LARIAT! Rade's momentum from the jump is completely undone.
Simon: Ann hits Gozu with the Blood Spray! She just bought Rade a bit of time!
Colin: Rade trying to get Gozu up in the 7 Feet Under, his arm is too weak and he goes for it with the other arm! Gets the launch up, 7 FEET UNDER RIGHT THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCER'S TABLE!!! Going for the pin-
1!
2!
Simon: Gozu pulls Rade into a Crucifix and Torii Breaker!!! Rade taps! Gozu unzipped the Monster!
Gozu wins by Submission!
Ash: Here is your winner, THE PATRON SAINT OF PAIN! GOZU!!!
Simon: It takes Godzilla to break King Kong!
Colin: And it looks like Diana Dresden has pulled up a chair in the front row for our next match, the rematch between SM Heartbreaker and Wonderwolf.
Kendra: If you remember, SM cashed in and cut Wonderwolf's title celebration short, effectively becoming the new Asylum Champion. Wonder is going to get his chance at redemption right here and now.
Simon: You have to wonder if Diana's presence is going to cost or keep the title with SM. It's unlikely it will have no impact at all.
ASYLUM TITLE REMATCH
SM HEARTBREAKER VS WONDERWOLF
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the Asylum Title!
Arena Lights go out, while heavy fog starts filling the entrance ramp, Wonderwolf's logo flashes over the screen, and an introductory video starts playing, as Wonderwolf makes his way to the ring.
Ash: First! From Amsterdam, Netherlands, weighing 200 pounds, WONDERWOLF!
The light go out and a spotlight hits the center of the ring where Wonderwolf starts howling.
Colin: Wonder is looking to actually get his title and keep it this time, and to get a measure of revenge on SM.
Kendra: Good luck with that. When you fight SM, the odds are never in your favor.
Voice-Over: Wrestling only has One Heartbreaker.
BOOOOMANIA runs wild as SM Heartbreaker walks out, title draped confidently over his shoulder. He has a microphone in one hand, to which he raises his hand to speak, then thinks better of it.
The music picks back up and he continues to walk down the ramp. After a few moments he looks around, and holds up the microphone and cuts the music again. The crowd collectively sucks in their breath, to which SM smiles and shakes his head then continues walking and the music kicks back up to BOOS.
Ash: And the Champion! From places you couldn't even imagine if you've tried, seeing things beyond your inferior comprehension, weighing in at a perfect 205 pounds, the self-proclaimed Face of MAWL and Asylum Champion, SM HEARTBREAKER!!
The bell rings!
Colin: Wonderwolf running right into the match, throwing fists at SM Heartbreaker and whipping him off the ropes, catches him out into a Fisherman DDT! Wonder off the ropes and a jumping headbutt! Wonder gets the ankle lock in, SM tries to get to the ropes and Wonder pulls him back! SM HITS HIM WITH AN ENZUIGIRI!
Kendra: SM tries to go for the quick cover but Wonder tells him not today Satan Mephisto.
Colin: Heartbreaker with a snap suplex and a fist drop, he doesn't handle rejection well.
Simon: It's possible he thinks this match beneath him and wants to get it done quickly. And oh look he's already going for the Heartshooter and again Wonderwolf tells him no with a push-off kick, SM running back to the ropes with that momentum and Wonderwolf gets him with the Armdrag NO SM lands on his feet and plants him with a Superkick! Again with the quick cover and again not even a 1 to show for it.
Colin: The tragedy is that if SM weren't so over it and thinking he was above everyone he'd probably be the best in the company for real.
Kendra: I mean to be fair he is holding the Asylum Belt after winning a cash-in clean.
Colin: I'm not always convinced we're watching the same show.
Simon: Wonderwolf up again, SM going for that spinning elbow and Wonder ducks! Catches him out with a quick and brutal cobra clutch suplex! You gotta admire Wonder's speed in getting these holds in, a cobra clutch is a complex thing to lock in place and it almost was a blink of an eye.
Colin: SM on the defensive again, Wonderwolf going up to the top quickly and a diving headbutt! Wonder going for the cover now-
1!
Kendra: SM gets the shoulder up at 1 but it seems like he was just taking his time, wasn't too much of a struggle back to his feet.
Colin: And this is exactly what I mean. Play around too much and you run the risk of shooting yourself in the foot. Wonderwolf choosing not to get fully to his feet from the pin attempt and going for that ankle lock again, SM doesn't even give him the chance and mule kicks him off, Wonder staggered back and a high angle dropkick by SM! Wonder watched the momentum go in the blink of an eye, now SM launching him across the pond, Wonder brought back by his momentum and tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by SM.
Simon: Wonder's gotta switch up his game plan. He puts on a submission master class, but SM's skin may as well be made of vaseline how easily he slips out of holds so you can't rely on your submission game unless you're willing to injure something on SM first, and that's not Wonder's MO.
Kendra: SM switching his game plan up and keeping pressure on Wonder, scooping him up into a deadlift backbreaker and now stomping at the ribs of Wonderwolf. SM IS willing to target a soft and sore area, so if he sniffs you holding onto something then you're in for a bad time. If there isn't a spot, he'll create one.
Colin: He'd started early in the match with the head, but seems to be refocusing his attention on the torso now. That's smart - Wonder uses his head as a weapon and so it is trained to withstand punishment. SM elongating those stomps now with a pressure pushdown, then punctuating it with another stomp.
Simon: It's like a compliment sandwich, if the compliments were stomps and the sandwich was also bad. So it's like a compliment sandwich from Subway.
Colin: Guess we know who won't be sponsoring us.
Kendra: SM going to the top rope, and it looks like we're gonna be seeing a Starscream SM LAUNCHING HIMSELF AND WONDER ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! Belly flop by SM Heartbreaker! He gets his legs to SM's head and gets him in the Jaws of Death!! SM's rare miscalculation may well cost him the belt!! WAIT HERE COMES DRESDEN AND SHE CLOCKS WONDERWOLF WITH THE BELT!! ANDRA IS CALLING FOR A DISQUALIFICATION!!!
Simon: Wonderwolf is robbed again by way of Champion's Advantage, and you can see he is NOT happy with Diana Dresden.
Wonderwolf wins by Disqualification!
Ash: Your winner by way of Disqualification is Wonderwolf! HOWEVER, as belts cannot change hands by way of disqualification, still Asylum Champion, SM Heartbreaker!
Colin: Diana was very brazen and open with her attack, so it seems the disqualification was the purpose. This...doesn't answer any more questions about her allegiance. On one hand, her actions kept the belt with Heartbreaker, on the other she could have clocked Wonderwolf behind the ref's back and given the belt AND the win to Heartbreaker, so it seems she wanted him to be disqualified and lose the match?
Kendra: One thing's for certain, we just witnessed a title fight and the person we're talking about wasn't even in the match. Dresden was able to steal the spotlight from SM, she calls herself the Next Evolution of Heartbreak, and so it's possible she was looking to stand in front of him when the cameras go off.
Simon: One thing's for certain, and that's nothing is for certain. We've only got two more matches tonight, with a Hometown Hero Main Event and coming up next, Wildfire enters Stitches' Strings of Agony. Take a look at Wildfire reacting to this match earlier tonight.
"One is a Genius the Other's insane ...to prove their mousey worth they'll overthrow the earth ... they're Pinky and the Brain.. Brain . Brain .. Brain"
WildFire is sitting on a couch watching cartoons with his kids laughing at the 'toons.
WildFire's cellphone beeps indicating he has received a new notification.
WildFire quickly checks it.
WildFire : Hmm new match cards
Show Name Madness LOCATION: Greensboro, NC
Scott Razor vs SlowMo
Slang Dang vs DX Royal
Manta Ray, El Cerrador, and Dangerous Johnny Dagger vs La Sangre Maldita
Daedalus Effect vs Ivan Volkov and the Doomsayers
WildFire vs Stitches the Clown - Strings of Agony
WildFire : "Hmm what's a Strings of Agony Match??
WildFire "ok lets check the fed database"
WildFire loads up the fed website and checks.
WildFire : ???
"What dances on cords, bleeds for applause... And climbs toward glory with shredded paws?"
"What ring is square, yet traps like a snare... Where ropes bite back, and the floor doesn’t care?"
(A balloon squeals as it stretches tight... then pops.)
"Step once — it hums. Step twice — it snaps. The mat sings songs while your spine collapses."
"Four corners of truth... each hold a prize. A smile of steel... and pain that pries."
(He giggles, somewhere between delight and despair.)
"No pins. No taps. Just strings that pull. And when you're upside down... your lungs go full."
"Hang ‘em high, let the threads decide… In the Strings of Agony… there’s nowhere to hide."
(A single string dangles from the rafters… and twitches on its own.)
WildFire :" Wow still not sure what that means. Maybe I should..."
Jaina :"Daddy??"
WildFire :"Yes dear?"
Jaina : 'Where do babies come from??"
WildFire looking a little taken aback "Uhh did you ask your Mom??"
Jacen piping up :"Yes she said to ask you."
WildFire looks around and at his phone again :"Uhh ask her again I gotta go do this ... thing"
He quickly bolts for the door.
Jaina " Mommy , Daddy said to ask you ....
Static flickers. A flash of purple. The face of Stitches appears upside-down for a fraction of a second, giggling.
STITCHES (voice distorted, sing-song): “Where do babies come from? Where do dreams go? What hides in the corners Where grown-ups don’t know?”
Cut to WildFire nervously locking his door. The balloon still sways behind him… it hasn’t moved, but it’s somehow closer.
BANG!
The balloon pops on its own.
Purple confetti rains down.
A child's laugh echoes, turning into a clown’s sinister cackle.
“THE PURPLE BALLOON”
🎈Stitches vs WildFire🎈
Strings will be pulled. Fears will be popped.
STITCHES (whispering from the shadows): “Tell the truth, Daddy… Or I will.”
WildFire is seen walking backstage towards the ring.
Back Stage announcer :" WildFire, WildFire a moment of your Time if you will?"
WildFire : Dude can't you see I am on the way to the ring? Kinda busy here
Announcer : But..
WildFire: "Clown boy wants to play torture porn, I'll play... " WildFire laughs "I'll play," flames flicker in his eyes, "I'll play and I'll laugh, and laugh and laugh."
WildFire walks out to the entrance ramp he pauses before the ring as his pyrtechnics explode the ring posts . Flames explode in the ring lighting it on fire. WildFire walks to the ring and passes through the flames unharmed as the ring burns around him.
As WildFire makes his blazing entrance… Stitches appears in the shadows, grinning wide, speaking in riddles through the flicker of flame…
---
Oh what a show, what heat, what flair,
You strut through flame like you just don’t care.
But fire, dear boy, is a flickering friend,
It lights the stage… then brings the end.
You blaze and burn, you crash and cry,
But can you dance where puppets die?
The ropes tonight are not for play,
They pull, they twist… they take away.
You think you’ve walked through hell before?
Let’s see what bleeds beneath the floor.
Each step you take will cost a toll,
Each scream a thread, each gasp a soul.
This isn’t just fire, this isn’t just pain,
This is where jesters go mad in the brain.
So light up your circus, spark up your rage,
But tonight you're stitched into my stage.
🎈
The bells will toll, the pulleys swing,
And agony dances on every string.
Welcome, WildFire, to the devil’s ring...
Let’s see who laughs... when the wires sing.🎈
STRINGS OF AGONY MATCH
WILDFIRE VS STITCHES THE CLOWN
Ash: The following contest is a STRINGS OF AGONY MATCH! The only way to win is to hang your opponent upside by the chains in the middle for 10 seconds! In the ring - from the Big Top of the Damned, weighing 285 pounds and standing at 6 foot 6, Stitches the Clown!! And his opponent, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 225 pounds and standing at 6 foot 2, WILDFIRE!!!
The bell rings!
Simon: You really gotta hand it to Ash, they are a consummate professional. In this situation, ESPECIALLY with the ring on fire, I'd be like "look, you know who's in this match, you know the rules and so do I, bye" and get the heck outta there.
Kendra: Was-was that-did you-
Colin: Fraid so.
Kendra: Some days I hate my job.
Colin: Stitches giving WildFire the silent treatment, trying to get in his head with simple tilts, but WildFire coming up and straightening that head right back up with a kendo stick!
Kendra: The head...just tilted the other way. And there's that creepy laughter that I hate.
Colin: WildFire takes the kendo stick to the other side of Stitches' face, and this time it shatters! But Stitches is still laughing! Stitches grabbing a hold of WildFire's hair, and now just smashing his face into WildFire!
Simon: Good time to point out that there's a similar dynamic here to the Rade/Gozu fight in that typically Stitches can intimidate with size, but he only has 4 inches and 60 pounds on WildFire, so where Stitches would typically just ragdoll his opponent here after these headbutts here, that's not gonna be such a given.
Kendra: I gotta say these matches today are pretty evenly paired compared to what we normally see. To your point Simon, Stitches can't just toss WildFire like he's nothing, so he's gotta come up with a different play. And that's the whip WildFire off the ropes, taking a perpendicular run and running body splash by Stitches! That caused a bit of tumble to WildFire.
Colin: One of WildFire's biggest strengths - and sometimes most glaring flaws depending on the situation - is he seems to have been born without a fear response. He did seem a little creeped earlier but the sense I got was that was protecting his children. With the kids safe out of Stitches' grasp, WildFire is not hesitating nor is he showing any signs of backing away. He's right up from the splash and scoop slam to Stitches!! Coming off the ropes, and a jumping fist drop!
Simon: Stitches is unlikely to fall very often so if you want him on the ground you have to direct him there by force then waste no time in making use of it. Wild got one fist drop in and already Stitches is back to his feet.
Kendra: WildFire attempts to whip Stitches but Stitches reverses and Wild is taking a run, back around and Stitches looking for a lariat, WildFire limbos under it, back around and flipping snapmare! Wild to the outside and it looks like he's going shopping!
Colin: With the intensity of the match you'd have to think the game of what's available has been upped considerably and that looks to be pepper spray! Wild knuckles it, rolls into the ring and ducks the running clothesline from Stitches, spins him around and pepper spray right to the eyes of Stitches! WildFire taking immediate advantage of this and making a whole bale o' hay on Stitches' face! Snap DDT right into the open flame!
Simon: Stitches is still laughing. The man is psychotic.
Kendra: Wild back out of the ring and over to the audience. Oh - he gives the pepper spray to a young woman there, that's a good thing to do. He signs it real quick and goes back under the apron. And now he's pulling out a cattle prod!
Colin: Stitches back to his feet, looking like Sweet Tooth from Twisted Metal with his hair on fire. Wild on the apron and Sweet grabs him by the hair, just flips him in! Pulling him up, he's HEADBUTTING HIM WITH HIS HEAD ON FIRE!
Simon: How's he gonna explain THIS to the kiddos??
Kendra: Wild gets his bearings back and evades a headbutt! Cattle prod to Stitches' neck!!! And he's just holding it there!! Stitches seems to be buckling in his body a little bit AND LAUNCHES WILDFIRE INTO THE TURNBUCKLE WITH A FALLAWAY SLAM! The Turnbuckle's on fire too! This is a damn mess! He's got him trapped in that corner and more flaming headbutts!! Anyone else would have tried to put their head out by now but Stitches seems to just be registering it as a weapon! Stitches grabs the cattle prod and all of WildFire's brilliant ideas are backfiring on him in a big way.
Simon: WildFire looking Stitches dead in the eye as he takes the cattle prod to the ribs, not laughing but not flinching either. You'd think he's been prodded before.
Kendra: I think it's just pride, really.
Colin: Whatever it is, it's enabling him to keep a clear head, and he knees the cattle prod out of Stitches' hands. An enzigiuri stuns Stitches a little bit, and WildFire follows it up by jumping the ropes and hitting Stitches with that top rope guillotine. WildFire takes this opportunity to return to the store NO STITCHES LAUNCHES HIMSELF OUT WITH A BIONIC ELBOW TO WILDFIRE'S HEAD! AND HE'S JUST CACKLING WITH PRIDE! And now just stomping WildFire out and having a grand old time.
Simon: That's gotta rankle Wild a little bit.
Kendra: No, it seems he's keeping his cool, and I think that's starting to frustrate Stitches a little bit. Stitches would have broken other opponents mentally by now, but WildFire continues to be unflappable. Wild with a dragon leg screw to Stitches and Stitches is back on the ground! Wild back underneath the ring, finds what appears to be a jug of moonshine! The hell is that doing there?
Colin: These North Carolina stagehands are wild.
Simon: Wild doesn't drink himself, but he's smart enough to know other uses for alcohol AND HE SMASHES THE MOONSHINE JAR OVER STITCHES' HEAD! STITCHES IS ENGULFED IN FLAMES!
Kendra: And this mother is still laughing! I don't get it!
Colin: Well he's looking to give WildFire a fiery hug, but Wild ducks and starts a kick combo, oh he stops himself and realizes that touching Stitches right now is probably a bad idea.
Simon: Dude's got two kids, he can't tell em not to touch the stove if he does. Wild instead hitting Stitches with a shovel repeatedly in the head. And now takes the shovel digging end out to Stitches' knees! Stitches is down on the floor! Oh, this is smart. Wild is employing Stop Drop and Roll and he's just using that shovel to flip Stitches over.
Kendra: Fire Safety 101. Stitches looks somewhat badly burned but he's alive and no longer on fire. Probably has to have a concussion by now I would think.
Simon: It's not gonna stop Stitches, but it might slow him down a little bit. Stitches back to his feet and he's swinging at Wild, but the swings are also wild and WildFire ducks and rolls away from them with little problem. Stitches tilts his head, is that frustration NO POP GOES THE WEASEL! He got Wild with the knee...sel! WildFire staggering a little and Stitches throws him back into the ring. I think unlike Stitches' first time doing this match where he didn't want it to end, he knows that he has to get this done. WildFire is a whole other competitor.
Colin: Stitches walking Wild to the middle of the ring, but you can see he's hobbling a bit. Stitches gets Wild situated on the chain, wraps it around and heading to the lev-HOLD ON WILD SWINGS THE CHAIN IN HIS DIRECTION AND LAUNCHES HIMSELF FROM IT! BOOM2!!!
Kendra: Stitches didn't take the moment to assure the chain was secure and it may have just cost him!!! Wild lugging Stitches over, STITCHES STARTING TO STIR AND I THINK HE HAS A KNIFE! HE STABS WILDFIRE IN THE LEG! THAT caused WildFire to twitch.
Simon: But the man is a sled dog in his heart and he continues pushing on! He back kicks the knife out of Stitches' hand and drags Stitches through the trail of his blood!
Colin: Stitches looks around him for anything he can use in the desire to slow WildFire down and the cattle prod is still in the ring! Stitches shocks Wild in the stab wound and this time Wild yelps in pain.
Kendra: Stitches looking to take that yelp and regain control of this match, trying to strap that chain on to Wild's leg and Wild slips free of him! Wild hits him with the chain!! Wild going hard with the chain on Stitches!!! And now he's got it latched to Stitches' leg, and over he goes to the lever, and up we go!!
1!
2!
3!
Simon: Wild was smart and knew that this part takes effort too!
4!
5!
6!
Colin: Stitches trying to get himself free!
7!
8!
Simon: Stiches trying to reach for the clasp AND WILDFIRE USES THE CATTLE PROD TO SHOCK THE CHAIN! HE USED THE METAL AS A CONDUCTOR!!
9!
10!!!
WildFire wins by 10-Count!
Ash: HERE IS YOUR WINNER!!! WILDFIRE!!!!
Colin: And that was an absolute barnburner of a match, and WildFire just barely manages to pull it off. He fought getting stabbed for chrissakes.
Kendra: He should probably get that checked.
Simon: True. And Stitches should probably go to the burn ward.
Colin: We have one match left, but that's gonna be hard to top.
Kendra: These North Carolinians though, they love their hometown heroes...oh, I actually am learning that Sarah Sharp attacked JP Spears and Guinevere!!! Looks like this match may not happen. They're saying that the win will be notched to Spears and Guinevere as a DQ, so we are done for the night! WildFire takes the win in what ended up being our Main Event! I'm Kendra Mavis, saying good night on behalf of myself, Colin McRae, and Simon Apple. We are now two weeks out from International Incident!
FADE TO BLACK.
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