EXT. Outside an old cathedral.
A cathedral of rot and stone sleeps beneath the Bucharest moon. Fog coils low, clinging to broken headstones like a secret afraid to rise. The grave is old—yet the soil looks restless, uneven, as if it remembers something it isn’t done holding.
Mal Sangre stands at the edge of it, fists clenched, jaw tight, fury barely contained. He doesn’t kneel. He looms.
Mal Sangre:
“Respect is for the dead who stay dead.”
He drives his boot into the dirt, scattering loose soil.
Mal Sangre:
“Crimson Rules means pain without mercy. Shawn Harris wants to fly? I will drag him down. I will baptize him in what’s left when the screaming stops.”
The air seems to recoil from him.
Tragedeigh steps forward, slow and deliberate, as if every movement is punctuation.
She carries a single black ribbon instead of a flower, letting it slip from her fingers onto the grave. Her voice is calm, lyrical—dangerously gentle.
Tragedeigh:
“Here lies the myth of control,”
Tragedeigh: (whispers)
“Roots do not ask permission. Vines do not care who you were yesterday.”
She tilts her head, studying the disturbed earth like a poem half-finished.
Tragedeigh:
“Flora Peligrosa believes growth is beautiful. But beauty is merely violence that learned patience.”
Behind them, Mark Anderson and High Risk Winston Lewis—the MAWLIWOOD Blondes—hover just outside the shadows. The bravado is still there, but quieter. Sharper.
Mark Anderson:
“Signal Titles. Dresden and Xiva Yi.”
Winston Lewis:
“Ladders. Tables. Cables snapping.”
They exchange a grin that doesn’t quite reach their eyes.
Mark Anderson:
“We steal the spotlight—even in the dark.”
The wind picks up. The ground shifts.
Not a hand. Not a face.
Just the soil sinking inward… then slowly pressing back up, as if something beneath it has taken a breath.
Ancient markings briefly imprint through the dirt before fading.
The four walk away without looking back.
The grave exhales.
And the night remembers a name it hasn’t spoken aloud yet.
OCTOBER 31, 2025
BUCHAREST, ROMANIA
THE NATIONAL ARENA
Simon (VO): Happy Halloween MAWLTIVERSE!!! We are in the most fitting place to hold an event of this creepitude, Bucharest, Romania, and it is going to be a SCARY time of a show! We have not one but TWO Pentacles Matches, and several new horrific match types that are bound to send shivers down your spine, a BEVY of Title Matches. And, a TERRIFYING announcement regarding the Fate of Frequency of the DAAAAAMNED!
Simon: I'm Simon Apple. Joining me as always for these terrifying times are my two compatriots, Kendra Mavis and Arvin Wallace-Jones. Are you SCAAAAAARED?
Kendra: Honestly? The thing that scares me most is the prospect of having to hear these Halloween puns and noises all night. I know you like the holiday but GODDAMN dude.
Arvin: Yeah, like three notches my guy.
Simon: Ah screw you both, this is an amazing time of year and I'm gonna lean into it. But we're gonna call action right off the bat as the 5 caskets are being rolled out to take us to our first Pentacles Match, this one to find out who is going to be in the Golden Group. Ash Greaves-Orleans is at the center of the ring ready to bring it to bear! Ash?
Ash: The following is a Pentacles Match! Six individuals will start this match, and the match will end when five of the competitors have been wheeled out in coffins leaving only one competitor standing! There are no pinfalls, submissions, or disqualifications, and while a coffin is in transit, no other eliminations will be occurred, with eliminations resuming once the referee returns.
Sounds of cannons blast off and "I, Emperor" begins playing.
A hooded feminine figure appears on stage and lowers her hood to reveal herself as Isabella Van der Garde.
She winks at a nearby camera before heading to the ramp.
Ash: FIRST! From Den Helder, Netherlands, ISABELLLLLA VAN DER GARDE!
Simon: Isabella's spooky energy is perfectly suited to this match.
Once at ringside Isabella slides immediately underneath the bottom rope to not just enter the ring but slide all the way to the opposite ropes. Afterwards the Dutchwoman climbs up the ropes until she is bent over the top rope and she blows a cheeky wink towards the camera as she takes her cloak off and carefully drapes it on the apron.
Dark blue lighting and dark smoke building up for Martigon to slowly walk through Scott Hall/Penta Jr style.
Ash: AND her opponents! From Ottawa, Canada, weighing in at 233 pounds, the Wicked Deadly, MATT! MARTIGON!
Matt intermittently stops to interact with fans at ring side but keeps his eyes locked on Isabella.
Shade Shadow storms out, looking straight ahead as he receives a moderate welcome.
Ash: From Gainesville, GA, weighing 267 pounds, Shade Shadow!
Simon: Shade is all business, he is well aware of what this opportunity can be for him.
Shade Shadow steps into the ring, pounding the turnbuckle a bit.
Purple smoke fills the entrance way, with strobe lights causing a reflection through it. Bianca Diaz stands on the apron and fixes her lipstick.
Ash: From Miami, Florida, representing Zora Luthor International and Sex Appeal, The BD Energy, BIANCA DIAZ!
Bianca struts down the ramp with palms outstretched blocking the fans who are booing her. She twirks up on the stairs, then flips casually over the rope.
The lights flicker and dim, casting the arena in shades of black and crimson red, creating a shadowy, ominous atmosphere. Fog starts to roll in from the entrance ramp, swirling in thick clouds, making it difficult to see anything clearly—heightening the sense that something dark is about to emerge from the mist. Occasionally, flashes of bright white or red light cut through the fog, only further adding to the dramatic effect. As the music builds, a slow, steady walk is the first thing that stands out. From behind the curtain emerges Magnus, a towering figure silhouetted by the dim, red lighting.
Ash: And his opponent! From Ironforge, Norway, weighing in at 300 pounds, MAGNUS!
Kendra: Unencumbered by a superior, left to his own devices, he can go hog wild. It will be interesting to see if he thrives or collapses under that.
He steps out with a purposeful, deliberate stride, his broad shoulders blocking the light behind him, casting a shadow that looms over the ring and the audience. His expression is as cold and unreadable as ever, his eyes scanning the arena with an icy, calculating gaze.
Magnus doesn’t rush to the ring. He moves slowly, as though he’s savoring the moment, letting the crowd feel his presence. The audience is split between fear and disdain, but no one dares to take their eyes off him. With every step, the fog swirls around him, enhancing his intimidating presence as he moves closer to the ring. His posture remains perfect—back straight, shoulders squared. Every movement exudes dominance and control. As he approaches the ring, he may glance over at the audience, never breaking his cold demeanor, letting them feel the weight of his gaze. He ignores any attempts at taunting or heckling, his focus solely on the ring and the task at hand.
Once Magnus reaches the ring, he stands for a moment at ringside, surveying the environment, scanning the crowd, and then slowly climbs the steps. As he enters the ring, he does so with a heavy, deliberate motion. The ropes bend slightly under his immense weight as he steps over them, his movements measured and controlled.
Upon entering the center of the ring, Magnus might raise his hand high, his fist clenched in a symbolic gesture of power, or he might simply stand there, letting the tension in the air grow even thicker. He doesn’t do anything flashy—his entrance is a statement, a demonstration of raw, intimidating presence.
Once inside the ring, the lights slowly return to normal, though the red glow still lingers around the edges, casting an unsettling hue over the scene. Magnus stands motionless for a moment, as if daring anyone to challenge him. His focus remains solely on the task at hand—the five caskets.
Suddenly, a giant spotlight at the entrance. A smattering of paparazzi. A red carpet rolls out.
High Risk Winston Lewis struts out and poses on the apron.
Ash: AND! Representing MAWLIWOOD BLONDES, From Hollywood, California, HIGH RISK WINSTON LEWIS!!
High Risk Winston Lewis does a flip into the ring and takes his sunglasses off at the camera.
Kendra: Magnus with an elbow shot to Isabella's face. Isabella pushed back a bit and continues to run, launches her big ol' booty at Bianca and knocks her backwards.
Simon: Magnus holds Lewis up and scoop slam onto a casket!! But Lewis rolls off OH BIANCA SUICIDE DIVES HIM! And here comes Magnus with a suicide dive of his own, Lewis pushes Bianca in the way!! Isabella opens the casket Magnus was slammed on, she gets Bianca by the big hair and is pulling her OVER THE LID! FACE DOWN INTO THE CASKET!! THAT'S GONNA BE MUCH HARDER TO GET UP FROM, ISABELLA STARTS TO PUSH THE LID DOWN AND SHE USES HER BIG OL' BUTT TO SEAL THE DEAL EARLY!!! SEE YA BIANCA!!!
Bianca Diaz is eliminated by Isabella Van Der Garde!
Arvin: Vanya Cross starts to roll the Casket away... until she returns no one else can be eliminated so it's a free for all. It takes about 3 minutes to get it rolled to the back and return.
Kendra: Shade Shadow with a punch to Isabella right in the face, she turns right around and gives it to Lewis. Magnus with a chair... ISABELLA BELLA BOMBS THE CHAIR INTO MAGNUS'S FACE!!
Simon: Shade Shadow with a headbutt to Matt Martigon, but eats an elbow to the back of the head by Lewis.
Kendra: I know it's a cliche, but you really have to have your head on a swivel. VAN DER GARDE BANZAI DROPS THAT CHAIR BACK ONTO MAGNUS!
Arvin: That booty is a weapon of ass destruction!
Kendra: Martigon with a jawbreaker to Winston Lewis. Magnus finally to his feet and spinning sidewalk to Matt Martigon! Martigon back to his feet and taking Lewis by the legs before he can get up...swings him right into the steel steps! And Shade from the apron with a knee drop onto Lewis, piling on that pain!
Simon: Lewis finally struggling to his feet, punch to the midsection of Shade and hurls the top of the steps at Isabella!! Martigon looking to take advantage of Isabella being knocked down, coming at a run, jumping elbow drop ISABELLA PUSHES THE STEPS IN THE WAY!! MARTIGON EATS FULL METAL!!
Kendra: Winston laughing as he turns around RIGHT into the boot by Shade Shadow! Lewis up just as Isabella whips a bottle at his head! Shade Shadow going for another boot LEWIS WITH A LOW BLOW KICK. Magnus gets Martigon up and a HUGE chokeslam to the bottom of the steps!! Lewis gets him from behind with an elbow to the head but Shadow rocks him with a lariat!
Arvin: It's just a pile up of bodies here as Martigon gets Shade Shadow with a spinebuster, then gets Lewis with a double axe handle.
Simon: Vanya Cross is back and Isabella's opening another casket. Martigon coming at her with a Spear and she back body drops him!! She's almost got him in, pushing the legs and Martigon starting to stir, Isabella Bella Bombs the Lid down!! She sits on the Casket and claims another victory!!!
Matt Martigon is eliminated by Isabella Van Der Garde!
Kendra: You can see the mild look of annoyance on Vanya's face, she just got back. Winston Lewis with a kendo stick to the back of Isabella as Shade Shadow gets Magnus up on his shoulders... F5!!! Lewis Flapjacks Shadow on top of Magnus!!! And Isabella from the Top, Shadow rolls away in time but Magnus eats the Banzai! OOOH and Magnus pissed off HE DEADLIFTS ISABELLA AS HE GETS TO HIS FEET AND THROW POWERBOMBS HER! Lewis with a quick punch to Shade Shadow, goes under the apron and there's that Old Timey Camera! He SMASHES it on Magnus, Isabella comes charging and he SMASHES it on her too!
Simon: Magnus up to his feet before Isabella, Magnus gets Shade Shadow up and scoop slams him onto Isabella. Shade Shadow to his feet, SPEAR TO WINSTON LEWIS TOOK HIM RIGHT THROUGH THE BARRICADE!!! WHAT FORCE!!!
Arvin: Magnus attempts to pick Isabella up but she punches him and says I'll do it myself, and a HUGE Snap Suplex by Isabella drives Magnus through the Korean Announcing Table!!
Kendra: Lewis takes that piece of barricade and breaks it over Shade Shadow's head!! ISABELLA GETS LEWIS WITH A SHINING WIZARD!! Magnus grabs a piece of the broken table and over to Shadow, shatters it on his back. Look out Isabella... REVERSE CHOKESLAM BY MAGNUS! HE DUNKS HER!! Shadow to his feet and scoop slam to Lewis.
Arvin: Lewis with a cheap shot to Shade Shadow ISABELLA POWERBOMBS MAGNUS INTO THE BOTTOM STEP!!! Isabella going for an axe kick to Shadow, he moves and catches her out with a German! And Lewis with a stomp out to Magnus. Lewis spreads the love and stomps out Isabella, Shadow with a Uranage puts Magnus right back into that step!
Simon: And Lewis gets Shadow with a Lariat to the back of the head, Shadow staggers but spin punch in return. Isabella with an elbow drop keeping Magnus grounded. Magnus to his feet and drives that BOTTOM step into the face of Isabella!!
Kendra: These four are absolutely decimating each other!! I don't know how they're going to survive two more casket runs. Shade Shadow drops Winston Lewis with a piledriver OH BUT EATS BOOT FROM ISABELLA!
Simon: Vanya Cross is back as Isabella elbow drops Lewis, Magnus with a huge one-handed chokeslam to Shade Shadow into the Casket!! She may get little rest!! Closes the lid and yep, she's back on the run!!
Shade Shadow is eliminated by Magnus!
Simon: That's what I call Shadow Boxing!
Kendra: BOOO.
Arvin: Magnus turns around and Winston Lewis hits him with the Director's Cut! And one for Isabella as well!! People were worried how he'd do without his teammate.
Simon: I'm worried about the health of all of these competitors. Magnus up and huge powerbomb to Isabella! Lewis looking to capitalize with a top rope splash to Isabella, but she gets the knees up! And an elbow drop to Lewis's throat!!
Arvin: Magnus now looking to capitalize on this, but Lewis is too quick and a sweep kick takes Magnus off his feet. Winston Lewis under the apron... and there's a chair! The wind up and SPINS ISABELLA with that hit! Turns around and IRON FIST BY MAGNUS! THAT ONE HANDED CHOKESLAM PLANTS WINSTON LEWIS DOWN! AND A SECOND FOR GOOD MEASURE!
Kendra: Isabella with the charge at Lewis, jumping elbow and Lewis rolls out of the way! But Isabella gets her revenge with a drop toe hold. Lewis somehow still able to roll up, leapfrog Isabella and missile dropkick Magnus! Lewis gets Magnus up and a HUGE bodyslam! Isabella hits a humongous back suplex to Lewis! Everyone just trying to catch their breath at this point, not sure how much damage each person can take.
Simon: Lewis struggling to his feet now and Vanya is back! Lewis into the ring and he's running to the other side...looking for a new casket to open, and he finds one OH MAGNUS TO HIS FEET AND HE CHARGES LEWIS! LEWIS EVADES AND MAGNUS ONTO THE APRON! MAGNUS AND LEWIS THROWING PUNCHES TO EACH OTHER, BOTH MEN CLEARLY EXHAUSTED, MAGNUS WITH A SUPLEX OVER THE ROPES AND LEWIS IN THE CASKET! LEWIS TO HIS FEET HE'S NOT STAYING DOWN ISABELLA COMING FULL SPEED AND BELLA BOMBS MAGNUS INTO LEWIS!! THEY BOTH GO IN THE CASKET!!! ALL ISABELLA HAS TO DO IS GET THE LID CLOSED!!!! UP TO THE TOP ROPE....BANZAI ONTO THE CASKET!!!! SHE IS SITTING ON THE LID!!! ISABELLA GETS A 2 FOR 1 DEAL AND SEALS THIS ONE!!!!
Magnus and High Risk Winston Lewis are eliminated by Isabella Van Der Garde! Isabella wins!
Ash: HERE IS YOUR WINNER AND THE FINAL ENTRANT IN THE GOLDEN GROUP! ISABELLLLLLA VAN DER GARDE!!!!
Simon: This match was truly bootylicious and no one was ready for this jelly! Isabella is going to square off with 11 of the biggest names in this industry at the W2!!!
Kendra: The butt don't lie, Simon.
Arvin: It was truly the ass that didn't quit, and Isabella is taking that ride to the big show. The celebration can-
Kendra: Vita Mars is here and she smashes a bat into the head of Isabella!!!! And she's just going to town on her!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!
Arvin: She just can't have anything nice.
Simon: And while Isabella gets taken from what should have been her celebration in the ring, we're being informed that we've just signed one of the currently highest ranked wrestlers here, Robertos Michael, and he's set to debut... now! We don't have time to make a graphic. But please welcome, your country's greatest wrestler!!
ROBERTOS MICHAEL VS ???
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
The arena lights die without warning, the crowd’s roar collapsing into uneasy silence. The titantron glitches violently before locking in on one chilling message:
“Name Display: Devilishly Great.”
A wave of boos and nervous anticipation rolls through the arena, mixed with some cheers for the country's greatest grappler.
The darkness lingers… then a blinding flash cuts through the void. There he stands.
Devilishly Great.
Unbothered. Unrushed. Smirking like he owns the building — because in his mind, he does.
He strides toward the ring with cold confidence, soaking in the hatred like fuel. Every step deliberate. Every glance dripping with arrogance.
Ash: INTRODUCING!!! The newest signee to MAWL, from right here in Bucharest, Romania, weighing a compact and precise 251 pounds, the Devilishly Great....ROBERRRRRRTOS MIIIIIICHAEL!!!
At his side, a smoking hot diva moves with dangerous elegance, fully aware of the chaos she causes. She doesn’t just turn heads — she owns them. Together, they’re not here to be loved. They’re here to be obsessed over and resented.
Kendra: Do we know who they have in line to fight him?
Simon: My understanding is it was originally going to be Bobby "Blue" Ball, but he insisted on a tough opponent and not some shlub.
As Devilishly Great steps between the ropes, the lights stutter again. He climbs the turnbuckle slowly, deliberately, throwing out a series of show-stopping poses — not for the fans… but to mock them. To remind them that no matter how loud they boo, they are powerless to look away.
The message is clear:
You don’t cheer Devilishly Great.
You endure him.
Kendra: Well, I guess we're about to find out who is going to put this guy, full of aggression and arrogance, to his first test on the MAWL stage.
As the music kicks in, images on the ceiling and along the walls of the arena start flashing in and out of artwork, at first staggered and gradually building together, with the images becoming more and more stable, until the music breaks and all the lights go out.
An angelic hum is heard, and a bright haloesque spotlight lowers to the head of this man, landing on him in time with "And where is God in all of this"
Simon: Well they certainly upped the difficulty level. Mein Gott.
Ash: AND HIS OPPONENT! FROM ROMA, ITALY, STANDING AT AN AWE INSPIRING 6 FOOT 10 AND WEIGHING 301 POUNDS, THE HUMAN CHAPEL! GAZE UPON THE WONDER THAT IS MICHAEL SISTINE!
The Spotlight follows his head, highlighting it like a halo as he walks with poise and intention to the ring, allowing the unwashed masses to take hold of the artwork that adorns his various muscles and ridges.
Kendra: I would have taken Bobby Ball. This... this feels like it was a bad idea for Robertos.
Simon: Did you ever wrestle someone this much bigger than you in your time as Kendra Mayne?
Kendra: Wrestle...is a strong word. I entered the ring with someone of that size, and I don't remember much between that and staring up at the lights. They looked like pretty stars.
Arvin: To be fair, Robertos is only 7 inches shorter.
Simon: Oh yeah, little over half a foot. That's nothing.
The bell rings!
Arvin: Robertos is a man of no fear, and he blasts Sistine with a Superkick to get this party started. Personally, I think being a man of no fear is not wise. Some fear is healthy. But Robertos seems to not know what that means. Maybe they don't have a word for it here.
Kendra: The Superkick causes Sistine to step back a bit, hasn't made much in the way of movement but it's a start, Sistine's now back leg comes flying back and a huge kick rollicks Robertos!
Simon: Robertos rolled back but back to his feet, smile hasn't left his face, hooks the waist of Sistine and Sistine trying to punish him for this with hammer blows but Robertos refuses to let go and WHOOOOA HE PICKS SISTINE UP AND BELLY TO BELLY!! HOLY HELL WHAT A WAY TO INTRODUCE YOURSELF!!
Kendra: Robertos like a Lumberjack looking how to haul his fallen timber, going for the legs and trying to pull Sistine towards the center of the ring and away from the ropes.
Arvin: Man this size, there's no away from the ropes, there's just close to the other ropes.
Simon: You're not wrong and he's trying to bend those big-ass legs upwards...he's trying a Texas Cloverleaf starting to get the legs up, the strength on this man is impressive but this was not well thought out, he just created his own trebuchet!! Sistine LAUNCHES HIM over the ropes!!!
Kendra: Robertos catches himself on the apron, the man is calculating as the giant is starting to come back to his feet. The thing working in Robertos' favor is being that big, you're inevitably a bit slow, but he doesn't have unlimited time to figure out, you gotta get moving.
Arvin: Robertos sees an opening! Up to the top turnbuckle and he's...seating himself? Oh, interesting, reaching for the head of Sistine... lumbering those big ass arms into a fisherman lock... what the hell is he thinking OH SHIT HE'S DRAGGING IT ALL BACK UP THE TURNBUCKLE...
DIVING FISHERMAN DDT!!!!
HE JUST PULL ALL OF HIS WEIGHT ON THE NECK AND HEAD OF SISTINE COMING DOWN!!! THAT WAS GENIUS!!!
Simon: Vanya still our ref, she's watching on as Robertos uses his might to flip Sistine over...
Vanya: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Robertos Michael wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your Winner, THE DEVILISHLY GREAT, RRRRRRRROBERTOS MIIIIIICHAEL!!!!!
Kendra: WHAT A STATEMENT WIN! WHAT A WAY TO MAKE YOURSELF KNOWN TO THE LOCKER ROOM!
For a split second, the arena is frozen — then the boos detonate like thunder.
Devilishly Great doesn’t celebrate immediately.
He stands over the fallen opponent, chest rising slowly, staring down at them with cold amusement. Like the outcome was never in doubt. Like this was always beneath him.
He crouches beside them, whispers something unheard — but cruel enough to make the crowd react anyway.
The camera zooms in.
He smirks.
His theme finally hits.
He rises slowly, arms spreading wide, soaking in the hatred like applause. The lights dim again, pulsing around him as if the arena itself is forced to acknowledge dominance.
The diva slides into the ring with lethal elegance, applauding him slowly, deliberately. She circles him like a crown being placed on a king who knows he deserves it. She lifts his arm, but not for the referee — for the world.
Devilishly Great steps over the opponent’s body without even looking down.
Disrespectful.
Effortless.
Intentional.
He climbs the turnbuckle and delivers one final, theatrical pose — head tilted, grin sharp, eyes locked on the camera. A message sent to everyone watching at home:
“You didn’t witness a victory.
You witnessed inevitability.”
As they walk up the ramp together, he doesn’t look back at the ring.
Simon: Our card has already started with a double banger, and while Michael Sistine attempts to collect himself after that stunning loss, we're going to-wait, here comes Pitta Power!! He's looking to tangle with Robertos!!
Kendra: Robertos looks at the diva, she motions him back to the ring!
Arvin: Robertos runs back into the ring, drops Pitta with a Spear, Michael Sistine hasn't left yet but there are referees and one rings the bell, ROBERTOS SPEARS PITTA!
Vanya: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Robertos Michael wins by Pinfall again!
Ash: Here is your winner, again, DEVILISHY GREAT ROBERTOS MICHAEL!!!
Simon: Now we've got TWO bodies to collect from the ring, and so let's turn it over to the Funhouse.
WildFire is standing outside a strange looking House in Bucharest, Romania, his Ether title draped over his left shoulder and a barbed wire wrapped bat in his right.
He points at the house with his bat.
WildFire : “Well here it is, the site, in which, just a few moments, will be my Fun House Brawl with Stitches. A brutal NO HOLDS BARRED match which can only be won by pinfall or submission. A Match in which, like my Strings of Agony Match with him, I will once again walk away Triumphant!”
WildFire walks towards the entrance.
WildFire : “ I am sure Stitches will use some clever mind tricks, some clownish whatever, and it’ll probably be slightly amusing in his own sadistic twisted way, but I am not here for that.”
WildFire : “I am not here for play time, I am not here to do silly jokes or play nice. I am here to break him. I am here to crush him. And I am here to DESTROY him!!”
WildFIre : “I will BREAK BONES, I WILL SHRED FLESH, I will hit him in his manhood so many times that he will never function as such ever again. I will paint my name on the walls in his Blood. And when he is broken and unconscious I will put my foot on his chest and count …”
1
2
3
WildFire enters the house.
In the house, he is greeted first by the Special Referee for this event-
Robert Englund leads him into the house proper.
Around him are mirrors upon mirrors upon mirrors.
Two clown animatronics pop up behind him-
WildFire smirks to himself, and walks to where he thinks the hall continues - only for it to be more mirrors and the hall continues behind him. Behind him can be seen -
But only for a second.
Giggles emanate from all around him, that familiar, taunting laugh. Wild grimaces, not in fear but irritation, as he sees a panoply of clowns tilting their head.
Wild is too smart to start smashing mirrors and tries to look for where the opening can be-
Stitches pops up behind him with the Bicycle Knee Strike, the Pop Goes the Weasel! Wild is caught off guard despite his best attempts and drops the bat. Stitches begins punching him in the face with increasing speed and force, the punches relocating and becoming hammer fists, and he has Wild hunched over! Gets him up, into the Crucifix looking to give him a Laughing Matter, Wild slides behind him in time and grabs hold of the bat again!
Wild smashes him in the back of the head, and whips him head first into a mirror 90 degrees away! He picks Stitches up and tosses him back first into a trio of mirrors, causing them to smash! Stitches crumples to the ground for a moment, and Wild attempts to spike the bat on his head, Stitches moves and the wire of the bat catches in the ground! Wild uses the bat as a pole and tiger feint kicks Stitches into the mirrors behind him! They rumble but don't break, but Stitches changes that with a flapjack launching Wild face first into the glass! Stitches shoulder tackles Wild through the mirrors and they find themselves going completely through to a hallway!
Around them are busts of clowns, paintings of decapitations, hangings, burnings, gas chambers, and all methods of murder, but all the perpetrators have been replaced by clowns.
Wild and Stitches throw fists at each other, Stitches takes a bust and swings at Wild, Wild rolls out of the way and Stitches smashes a picture of a burning house and a...
Noose...
comes down.
This stops both Wild and Stitches in their tracks for a second as they look at the house burning
painting, look at the noose, look at the HANGING painting, point at each independently but simultaneously, look at each other and shrug. Wild swings his bat, Stitches evades and grabs the noose, wrests the bat from Wild and puts the noose around his hands!! Stitches tightens the noose to keep Wild in place and goes to town on Wild's ribs with his own bat, laughing maniacally, dancing around Wild and getting him in the ribs, the back, the other ribs. This is the most fun Stitches has had in some time and he's relishing every moment of it.
Good for him. You should have fun doing what you do.
On the third go-round of this, Wild gets it in himself to kangaroo kick Stitches back. Wild swings his body backwards for a second, stronger kick, and dropkicks Stitches into the picture of the guillotine, at which point 2700 volts of electricity run through Stitches almost instantly.
WildFire attempts to take this time to wriggle his wrists free of the noose, which he does not without some pain. He rotates and snaps his wrist for a second and examines the paintings, trying to keep an eye on Stitches. He grabs a bust and walks over the painting of a Gas Chamber, and smashes the painting.
And waits.
He looks to the walls. Nothing coming out.
He looks to the ceiling. Nothing there either.
And then he hears it.
The chittering.
Increasing in volume. In both manners of the word.
His eyes widen for a bit as a horde of angry rats come charging down the hallway.
He instinctively jumps back on the noose to let the rats pass underneath. He breathes for a second...
only to be hit in the face with an airborne rat.
And another. And a third.
He swats them away and looks in the direction of it and sees Stitches... with HIS bat... standing against the wall golf swinging rats at him, laughing maniacally.
Another catches him in the face, and he starts to lose his grip in the noose. Without thinking he swings himself into the wall and another painting, this one a crow eating an eyeball. While in clown makeup.
A rushing noise comes from the back... and cascades of water come. The rats get swept up, but the water doesn't stop there. Wild jumps into the oncoming river, trying to swim towards Stitches but struggling as the current is going the other way. Wild gets himself against the wall and waits for Stitches to come for him.
But Stitches won't move.
For the first time, Stitches is showing fear. He is reliving having been taken by the river at Orlando and losing to Gozu at Disney. The river lives in his mind, and the water stops him flat.
Wild may not know the circumstances but he knows the emotions, and he starts scaling the wall to take advantage. Something wells up in Stitches, however, something Wild even wasn't expecting, and he lets out a harrowing wail as he smashes the bat on the painting of a hanging.
The river subsides. Slowly drains itself into the walls, vented away and into who knows where. Some rats were lucky to make it out. The others are waterlogged and wasted.
As the water drains in the vents below, a faint, inviting but threatening odor enters through the vents and a core memory is unlocked. WildFire begins to giggle. In part because he solved the riddle.
Guillotine - Electricity
Arson - Noose
Crow - Water
Gas chamber - Rats
And by extension what just happened.
Hanging - Gas
Specifically laughing gas. And that is why his laughter is as loud and as hard as it is. But something else strikes him.
A bat.
He looks up in his giggle fit and sees that Stitches is stone serious. Not scared, not angry, just even faced. He motions like "Come On, It's Funny", and Stitches has a tiny humorless smirk on his lips as he wails on Wild with the bat. Wild looks back to all the times he's played Tasha's Hideous Laughter, and though his brain is like "it's comeuppance", all he can do is laugh about it as Stitches absolutely decimates him with his own bat.
Wild tries desperately to compose himself and fend off the attacks, but at this point he knows in the bits of clarity couched within the laugh track that's turning almost 90s sitcom in his brain that he will die if he doesn't get out of this hallway. He reaches for the first door, any door, and ends up... in the animatronic jamboree room.
WildFire starts to catch his wits again and mutters something about "Copyright Infringement" then begins pulling the animatronics out of their plugs.
A purple balloon floats into the room.
WildFire, with some annoyance, pops the balloon and Stitches emerges from where one of the animatronics - the dastardly disco duck - once stood.
The music in the room changes accordingly.
WildFire takes the Disco Duck animatronic and swings it right into the ribs of Stitches, who is finding himself laughing again, and the sudden onset of this returning proving to be a bit of an issue.
Stitches tilts his head and Bicycle Knee! Pop Goes the Weasel connects with Wild, and Wild rolls back... Stitches tries it again but this time Wild catches him, and Exploder Suplex knocks down the last remaining animatronic standing!
Wild grabs his bat back from Stitches and lets loose on his temple, not stopping until some blood begins to form. Stitches struggles to his feet...Wild takes this time to stack up the animatronics horizontally, creating a small barricade of sorts.
Wild positions himself atop the mound and waits for Stitches to get up...
BOOM2!!!
Wild collapses on top of Stitches, still having enough wherewithal to hook the leg.
Robert Englund approaches (where the hell have you BEEN Mate??)
1
2
3
WildFire wins by Pinfall to retain the Ether Title!!!
Robert Englund raises WildFire's hand and hands him his title back. He leads Wild out of towards the exit.
The shadows notice first.
Not Sombras—the shadows. They recoil, then lean inward again, as if the corridor itself has taken a breath it was never meant to release. Something has shifted. Not forward. Not back. Sideways, perhaps. Time has done this before, slipping its teeth into itself and grinding until meaning breaks.
Sombras feels it in his ribs, in the hollow behind his eyes. A reset? A continuation? The difference has always been academic. Either way, what was buried is no longer content to remain still.
He walks.
MAWL’s hallway stretches longer than it should, lights humming with a sickly patience. Each step pulls something loose from him—memories bleeding through the cracks like smoke. The first comes violently.
Steel. Canvas soaked dark. The sound of bodies colliding with something that never gave back. A ring surrounded by no mercy and no witnesses who mattered. Pain wasn’t a tool then; it was a language. Every breath earned, every victory paid for in scars that never healed correctly. Survival masquerading as glory. He remembers thinking that if he could endure that, nothing could ever reach him again.
The hallway flickers.
The second memory arrives sharper, colder.
A hand extended… then withdrawn. A promise spoken just loudly enough to be heard, just softly enough to be denied later. Eyes that wouldn’t meet his. The moment he realized loyalty was a currency, and he had already been spent. The bell rang, and suddenly he was fighting alone. Not because he had to—but because someone decided he should. Betrayal doesn’t announce itself. It waits until you’re mid-fall and reminds you there is no one beneath you.
His steps slow.
The third memory doesn’t rush him. It lingers.
An empty space where noise used to be. No steel this time. No impact. Just absence. Messages unanswered. Doors closed without explanation. A world that moved on while he stood still, staring at the place where something—someone—should have been. Abandonment is quieter than betrayal. That’s what makes it worse. It doesn’t hurt all at once. It erodes.
The hum of the lights grows louder. Or maybe that’s the chanting again—too distant to understand, too familiar to ignore. The shadows stretch unnaturally long now, bending toward a presence he refuses to name. To think of it too clearly would be dangerous. To acknowledge it might cause it to stall… or accelerate. And some awakenings only happen if you pretend you don’t feel them coming.
He stops.
A door stands before him, plain and unassuming, as if it hasn’t already decided everything.
Ralph Silva.
The name is a marker. A checkpoint. A moment Time has been circling for far too long. Sombras raises his hand, trembling—not with doubt, but with the weight of knowing that once this moment passes, there is no returning to ignorance. Whatever stirs in the dark does not want discussion. It wants inevitability.
His knuckles hover inches from the door.
The hallway holds its breath—
—and the segment ends.
Simon: WildFire wins the first title match of the night, and damned if he didn't do it in grueling fashion.
Kendra: Also to note, never use laughing gas on Stitches.
Arvin: I wonder if I can get him to do my taxes with enough laughing gas.
Kendra: You WOULD trust a clown to do your taxes.
Arvin: Would it be that different than most tax workers?
MAWL Production Note: We trust your judgment. Please don't make us get audited.
Simon: Speaking of clowns, our next match feels like some tomfoolery as Lesnar will be fighting his wife in a tag match.
Kendra: It was not smart of him to agree to tag with another woman. He's just making this worse for himself.
Ash: The following tag team contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Lesnar stomps back and forth on the apron, before making a backbreaker/scream pose lighting off fireworks.
Lesnar starts to stomp down the ramp and he is PISSED.
Ash: First! From Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing 265 pounds.... THE BEAST, LESNAR!!!
Lesnar charges with increasing speed and runs into the ring.
The Cure "Vendetta" plays as Vicious Valencia Valdez crushes a can in her hands and throws it to the ground which ignites pyro.
Ash: And his partner! Representing Zora Luthor International... from Santiago, Chile, VICIOUS VALENCIA VALDEZ!
She mouths off as she walks down the ramp. She steps in the ring, shaking the ropes angrily, then in the ring punches the ground igniting fire again.
Suddenly...The lights go completely out. The arena is filled with sounds of owls hooting and clocks ticking.
Red smiley faces show in hologram around the arena in time with the bell. Rena Terror steps out to the stage, illuminated only by the red glow in the dark mask that she removes from her face. Ash immediately holds their microphone down as they have learned by now their microphone is turned off. Rena cackles to boos.
Rena: Oh, lover, lover, lover. This is supposed to be the replacement? This is supposed to fill the gap that I left your dumb ass dealing with? You truly don't understand how replacements work. You see, we were brains and brawns. And I found better brawns, but you, you simpering overgrown tackle dummy, you replaced brains with... whatever this is. Brawns and brawns? You two 18 wheelers think you can get around with no one driving? You've signed your own death warrant, and I plan on wearing this shade of red to your funeral. In fact, I won't even need to wait. Right here, at Graveyard Shift, we are surrounded by boxes big enough to fit both your bodies and urns small enough to snugly fit your wadded-up gum brains. We can bury you both tonight, and I can finally enjoy the only good thing about being married to you, the insurance money. Of course, when I say we I mean myself and the most man this federation will ever see, the man with the biggest muscles and the biggest blood collection that you should all consider yourself fortunate to even have the chance to partake in, the absolute pinnacle of pain, Der Blutsammler, from the Black Forest and the crippling devastating night terrors that cause enuresis to run rampant in Romania, weighing 355 pounds and the suffocating weight of the unfinished business which will follow you past your imminent expiration and into your next life.
HE.
IS.
The keyboard finally kicks in and the appearances of the red smiley faces intensify rhythmically as a towering figure enters behind her.
Rena: RADE.
Rade walks down the ramp with Ann leading him, both illuminated mostly by the glow in the dark masks.
Rena stands in front of Rade and stares up as if being baptized from the sky. Rade spits blood upwards and it rains on her. She smiles wickedly to the camera and leaves the ring onto the apron.
Rade and Lesnar start and the bell rings!
Simon: Lesnar coming in with that football tackle and Rade just boots him away! Lesnar rolls back, ducks the lariat and gets behind Rade, going for the first German Suplex and nails it, looking for the second and nails it, looking for the third and chop block by Rena Terror! Rade back on solid ground, whips Lesnar off the rope, Valencia tags herself in as Lesnar hits the rope, Rade pops him up, 7 FEET UNDER!!
Kendra: Rade didn't see the tag, but the ref sure did. Rade attempting a pin on Lesnar-
Kendra: Jenny tells Rade No Count and Valencia gets him with a charging discus lariat! Rade pushed back a bit but remains on his feet.
Arvin: Still think she's not got brains, Rena?
Simon: Valencia with a boot to Rade's midsection and that bends him down a little bit, and she pops him with a Pele Kick! Rade looking a little dizzy, Rena tags herself in, Valencia off the ropes to take advantage of Rade's dizziness with a forearm shot, Rade isn't THAT dizzy and launches her up for a 7 Feet Under, RENA CATCHES HER INTO A TERROR BOMB!!! The cover-
Jenny: ONE! TWO!
Kendra: Lesnar breaks up the pin, and stares Rena down. Husband and wife jawing at each other, Rena says to tag in and fight her like a champ. Lesnar steps back to the apron and extends his hand, Valencia about to tag and Rena spits blood in Lesnar's eyes!!! Lesnar covers his eyes, hand pulled for the tag, Rena spins Valencia around and TERROR BOMB NUMBER TWO!!!
Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Rena Terror and Rade win by Pinfall!
Ash: Here are your winners, Rade and Rena Terror, RABIA SAGRIENTE!!!
Rena grabs the microphone.
Rena: You may notice that we're down one team member... well... here. HE. COMES. YOUR CRIMSON RITE CHAMPION.
Red smoke enters the arena and intensifies around the entrance, where Mal Sangre stands.
Rena: From the Ancient Bloodline of F-
Kendra: Harris with a bat to the back of Mal Sangre!!! There aren't disqualifications in this match type, except you can't use your finisher until your opponent bleeds, but we're already underway!
Kendra: Harris just laying waste to Sangre and Sangre trying to get back to his feet, Rade grabs Harris by the back of the neck and LAUNCHES him, giving Sangre a chance to breathe, Sangre up to his feet and Lesnar hits him with an F-5!!!
Arvin: Payback is a bitch, Kendra.
Kendra: I don't know, can you reasonably classify this as payback?
Arvin: Sangre is under Rena Terror's umbrella, he's subject to the same war, it's just how it goes. Shawn Harris sees his opportunity, and goes for the cover!
Vanya: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Aerial Assassin Shawn Harris wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, and the NEW Crimson Rite Champion, AERIAL ASSASSIN SHAWN HARRIS!
Simon: That...that was a robbery. There's no other way to put it.
Arvin: A win is a win is a win, Simon. The rules only stipulated that neither competitor in the match could use their finishers, everyone else is fair game.
Shawn Harris grabs the mic.
Shawn: Mal Sangre… You call this the Crimson Rite like it’s sacred. Like it’s some holy ritual that chose you. But here’s the truth you’re too afraid to face: I don’t believe in rituals. I don’t believe in destiny. I believe in damage. This is a No Disqualification. No rules. No mercy. No escape. That title was baptized in blood— but mine is the blood that ends stories. You think pain is your ally? I weaponized pain before you ever wore that belt. I don’t just hurt people, Mal… I break them until they understand who they are beneath the blood. (leans into the camera) Chairs. Chains. Steel. There’s nothing between me and that title… and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. You survive rituals. I create casualties. When the bell rings, this stops being a match. It becomes a beating with witnesses. And when the ring is soaked crimson, when your body refuses to answer your pride, when the ref counts three and you’re staring at the lights wondering what went wrong— Remember this: The Crimson Rite doesn’t belong to the strong. It belongs to the cruel. And I am cruelty incarnate. Mal Sangre… Pray all you want. Because at No Disqualification, Shawn Harris is taking your title— and leaving you as part of its legacy.
Shawn Harris puts the title on the ground, and bulldogs Mal Sangre's face into it. He bulldogs his face into it again. Lesnar holds the belt up to Mal Sangre's head, Harris loads back.... Hidden Blade! Mal Sangre's face is starting to bleed and Harris loads back and does it again!
Shawn grabs a chair and puts Mal Sangre's head between it...
Simon: What the hell is Sombras doing out here??
Kendra: Maybe it's the hallways that spooked him, maybe it's watching this manner of doing things, or Lesnar or what, but it looks like is that he's stepping in the way of Shawn's attack on his erstwhile brother!
Arvin: The two of them are arguing, that's for damn sure. We know that La Sangre Maldita's had some issues with cohesion and power dynamic-
Simon: SUPERSTAR DAVY BOY IS IN THE HOUSE! THE LEGACY CHAMP IS HERE AND A WEST COAST STUNNER ON SOMBRAS!!! WEST COAST STUNNER ON MAL SANGRE!!! HE AND SHAWN HARRIS HOLD UP THEIR RELATIVE GOLD, AND I GUESS THIS IS WHAT LA SANGRE IS NOW.
Arvin: If by this you mean reclaiming their rightful place as top of the mountain then yes. And when Sombras obtains gold, he can be part of the solution too.
Kendra: That does seem to be what Davy Boy is yelling at Sombras and-
The lights suddenly flash and ancient symbols flash briefly on all the trons.
Arvin: That got everyone's attention and Sombras back to his feet, he seems to be standing alongside Superstar and Harris despite what just happened, being spooked I guess will cause you to seek protection wherever you-
The lights flash again, but this time a dark green, and then go out completely. When they turn back on-
Simon: The Inferno Champ is in the ring now and she blasts Harris with her belt! She blasts Sombras with her belt! She and Davy Boy face off and she directs Superstar out of the ring. Superstar refusing to go RADE CHOKESLAMS HIM AND KICKS HIM OUT!
Kendra: Don't mistake any of this for friendship. There's still very much animosity between everyone here and Rade 7 Feet Under to Tragedeigh as well! But she has a title match coming up and-
SHE SITS UP UNDERTAKER STYLE! COMPELLED BY THE SWAMP TRAGEDEIGH IS NOT GOING DOWN EASY! Rena leads her team out of the ring, and Tragedeigh is ready for her next match!
Ash: The following contest is a Vines of Agony match and it is for the Inferno Title! Already in the ring, the Inferno Champion, the Static Swamp Queen, TRAGEDEIGH!!!
The green smoke and fog shoots up. Flora Peligrosa walks in between breathing in the fog and chuckling scornfully as she blows it out.
Ash: And her opponent! Representing E.M. Powered, from Quito, Ecuador, The Juliet Rose, FLORA PELIGROSA!!
Vines pop up along the ramp following Flora, as if holding her hands in a debutante style. At the end of the ramp she picks a flower and smells it as she struts, nose up, to the steps, walking up and entering the ring.
The Vines lower. Floral themed weaponry grows out from under the ringside mat.
Kendra: So this is essentially a Strings of Agony match, but with Vines instead?
Simon: Seems to be.
The bell rings!
Arvin: Tragedeigh with a can of pesticide in her hand, and immediately into the eyes of Flora! She's going to empty that whole can and OH SHE INTRODUCES A LIGHTER TO IT! WE ARE GOING RIGHT INTO THIS!
Simon: Flora screaming, her hair is on fire! Even all natural spray products are flammable! She swings her flaming beehive head at Tragedeigh and scrapes her across the face with fire!
Kendra: This is a good time to remind everyone we are still barely a quarter into this card. Later on we're going to have a whole Viking Funeral for either SM or SM's opponent.
Arvin: Officials finally putting the hair out and Flora is in a tearful rage, she grabs a trowel and Lou Thesz Press to Tragedeigh! She is punching with her right hand and trying to trowel her mask off with her left! Is she planning on digging her eyes out??
Simon: Tragedeigh trying to kick her off and not being entirely successful, Flora is fully rage-fired now, Tragedeigh changing tactics and wresting the trowel out of her hands and she digs her nails into the backs of Flora's hands, Flora drops the trowel! TRAGEDEIGH PRESSES IT INTO THE MIDDLE OF HER BACK!
Kendra: That'll get her off!
Arvin: Oh yeah.
Simon: Gross. Tragedeigh kicking Flora into the ribs! And another! AND ANOTHER! Tragedeigh scoops her up, perfectly aims that Backbreaker on the trowel wound and Flora howls! Tragedeigh bending her back, really digging into the wound which is great for damage but isn't going to win this match.
Kendra: Tragedeigh seems to agree with you, sticks her thumb in the wound but grabs her hair with her other hand, a running start and launches her into the pole headfirst!
Arvin: Trag steps out of the ring and drags Flora's head through the ropes...grabs a rake and digging it along the face of Flora, Flora screaming again and Trag slams the rake's handle across the back of her neck!
Simon: This woman is just getting absolutely brutalized, and Tragedeigh straight up BREAKS the handle over her head. Tragedeigh is in full control of this match and that hasn't changed much since the opening bell.
Kendra: This is the first time she's held a championship and she's not going to let it go that easy. Flora fighting to her feet, but not without significant struggle, and not without burn and blood stinging on her face.
Arvin: I'm sure she regrets going unmasked.
Simon: Springboard to the outside, huge dropkick to Tragedeigh, Tragedeigh gets pushed back and High Angle German Suplex into a bag of peet moss!! Such force and the bag is ripped open, Trag gets a face full of fertilizer!
Kendra: Flora sitting on the head of Tragedeigh!! She's just suffocating her in that bag!!! Tragedeigh is flailing and gasping, Flora jumps up for a hip drop on her back!!! Brutal!!!
Arvin: I'm sure she regrets going masked.
Simon: I see your point, Arvin, Tragedeigh pulling herself out and trying to claw the mask off her face....Flora runs her headfirst into the pole! Whips her into the steps! Tragedeigh trying to get herself up, here comes Flora and Flora going for the Stomp!!! ... TRAGEDEIGH MOVES!!! FLORA HITS FOOT TO STEEL!!! CHOP BLOCK BY TRAGEDEIGH!!!!
Kendra: Flora's gonna have to add ankle injury to her list of medical complaints, I hope we got them better insurance! Tragedeigh slamming the ankle into the steps!!! And again!!!!
Arvin: Oh, I think she is ready to really get her victory as she rolls Flora into the ring SLAMS HER LEG AGAINST THE BOTTOM OF THE POST!!!! FIGURE FOUR AROUND THE POST AND THIS IS GOING TO BREAK THAT DAMN ANKLE!!!
Simon: She finally lets go, and you can see Flora trying real hard not to cry as she limps toward the center of the ring...Tragedeigh trips her with the hoe!!! Flora's gonna have a real hard go here!!!!
Kendra: Tragedeigh to the apron... to the top rope... JUMPS DOWN WITH A STOMP ON THAT ANKLE!!!! FLORA PELIGROSA IS IN REAL TROUBLE HERE!!! TRAGEDEIGH FINALLY IN THE RING, AND SHE IS GOING FOR THE VINE!!! SHE'S GOING TO STRING FLORA UP BY HER LEG!!!! SHE-
The screen flashes the same symbols from earlier, ancient runes, and Tragedeigh is caught off guard! Flora uses this time to get the vine around Tragedeigh's waist and hoists her up!
Vanya: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Simon: This must bring her back to her theater days!
Vanya: FOUR! FIVE!
Kendra: She's definitely looking like Peter Pan up there.
Vanya: SIX! SEVEN!
One Asshole: DOOT D- Other fans beat the hell out of that dude.
Vanya: EIGHT!
Arvin: Did Flora just steal this match??
Vanya: NINE!
Simon: It's looking like it!
Vanya: TEN!!
Flora Peligrosa wins by 10 Count!
Ash: Here is your winner, and the NEW Inferno Champion, FLORA PELIGROSA!!!!
Kendra: Flora went through hell and back to win this belt, and the fans may actually be warming up to her a-
Flora's ankle gives way and she howls in pain.
Simon: Oh. Oh boy. We're gonna need medical out here.
The crowd murmurs as Flora's music is cut and a gurney is brought out.
"Do you believe?"
Enter our ears as we find ourselves outside in a park at night. Why are we here? Because we find ourselves facing the Dutchwoman known as Isabella Van Der Garde, sitting there while leaning back to stare up towards the night sky following her ruined victory.
"Do you believe that fate is written in the stars? Like no matter what one does everything they do is predetermined? Be it by something scientific, religious or mathematical, every move we make has been decided from our first breath to our very last. Like how my threads of fate has been intertwined with Vita Mars..."
At those last two words Isabella tilts her head down and lean forward to look more towards us as the index finger of her right hand moves up to poke at her forehead.
"From her kneeing me directly here to ruin my heroic attempt of a debut to bashing me right here with a damn baseball bat to cost me my first ever match here at MAWL..." sigh "For the past couple weeks I have been wondering...could it be that it is written in the stars for Vita Mars to ruin me over, and over, and over again?"
Isa hangs her head and slump her shoulders.
"So Vita...do you believe..."
She lift her head back up to shoot us a smile.
"Do you believe it is possible to rewrite the stars?"
Isabella stands up from the bench she was sitting her cutely chubby cheeks on.
"Because I do and I want to fight you again, and beat you, to prove it. You can name whatever stipulation you want, have me fight as many of your friends as you want beforehand...hell you can even use that precious bat anytime you like...I want to face you Vita Mars...and I'll be the one who gets to ruin you."
She openly declares before walking away, leaving us to stare at a vacant bench before our vision fades to black.
Ext Parking Lot Outside an Observatory - Night
Vita Mars sits on the hood of her sports car, smirking as she stretches out, a cat having just had a most delectable meal.
Vita Mars: Isabella, oh Isabella. There's just so much of you to ruin. Hours upon hours of fun. Do you really think if you couldn't handle a couple of measly bat shots that you can actually handle what it would take to beat me?
She chuckles to herself and runs her fingers along the hood of a car
Vita Mars: But I'm a Sporting Type. And it's no fun if it's a quick squash. So here's my challenge to you. Find a partner for Thankless. Any partner. I dare you. If you and whatever hentai reject you dig up can beat me and Marley, I'll give you the chance to pick the one on one stipulation when it's just the two of us. If you can't, the match will be Strings of Agony, and you'll be BEGGING for a bat beating.
She yawns and rolls down to the driver's door, then slides herself into the car. She peeks her head out.
Vita Mars: You coming?
Simon: Isabella, you gotta feel for her. Even when she wins she loses.
Kendra: It comes down to that rancid meow fom XHW.
Arvin: Well, the gauntlet was thrown for Thankless, let's see if she accepts. Speaking of Thankless, this job, amIrite?
Simon: By which he means, it's now up in the air what will happen with Flora Peligrosa and by extension the Inferno Title. In the meantime, we have some team titles to square away.
Ash: The following Trios Tag Match is for the Trios Title and it is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Various colors flash throughout the arena, all colors of the rainbow in tall plumes of light that scan around like spotlights and switch colors to the beat. UV and Lazer run out clapping.
Ash: First, the challengers! The team of UV and Lazer, they are Skylights!!
UV and Lazer run down high-fiving everyone.
Kendra: This is certainly a unique set of challengers that EM Powered have set up.
Arvin: I hope this is tax-deductible, because it definitely counts as charity.
UV and Lazer slide into the ring.
Streamers come down and balloons are released as Confetti comes out with confetti cannon in hand.
Ash: And their partner! From Celebration, Florida, weighing in at 195 pounds, CONFETTI!!!
Confetti shoots the confetti out to cheers.
Simon: I mean, I can see how this team would work together.
Arvin: Still very much "let's squash em and move on with our day."
Confetti walks down the ramp, shooting the cannon every time the band sings "This will be" before rolling into the ring.
Razi Kamal and Ishani walk out holding up their titles high.
Stepping in between them, holding a title in each hand so they are conveniently behind the heads of her teammates, comes Diana Dresden.
Rolling into the ring comes special referee RYAN REYNOLDS!
Simon: I got a bad feeling about this.
Arvin: You're too paranoid.
Kendra: The celebrity referee rule has certainly been an issue here at MAWL.
Ash: And the champions! Representing E.M. Powered, Ishani, Razi Kamal, and Diana Dresden!!
Ryan calls for the bell?!
Arvin: The champs haven't even made it to the ring CONFETTI BLASTS LAZER IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THE CONFETTI CANNON!!! THIS IS WILD DIANA JUST LAID OUT HER PARTNERS WITH THE BELTS AND CONFETTI COVERS LAZER!!!
Simon: Xiva Yi, don't do it! You're not in until next match DIANA SOCKS HER WITH THE BELTS!! Ryan with the count-
Ryan: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Confetti wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here are your winners...and the NEW Trios Champions...
Ryan grabs the microphone.
Ryan: Listen here, Ash Wednesday, you're just gonna screw this up. The NEW champions, and everyone here's new favorite group, in part because it's run by who I think is the most dashing rogue ever to lace up wrestling boots, besides yours truly, and that would be one Mr. SM Heartbreaker. They are Diana Dresden, Confetti, and UV - at least right now they are - and they make up the amazing, the saucy, the savory, the unsavory, the uuuuumami, Deck of Hearts.
Diana: And MAWLIWOOD, as we agreed... Xiva and the belts are all yours.
MAWLIWOOD Blondes run out going "Hup hup hup hup" as they carry the flattened Xiva Yi to the ring and toss her in.
Arvin: Red Carpet pins Xiva!
Ryan: ONE! TWO! THREE!
MAWLIWOOD Blondes win by Pinfall!
Ash: I can handle this, Ryan Friday. Here are your winners - and NEW Signal Tag Team Champions - MAWLIWOOD BLONDES!
Simon: Hopefully this next match will go a little bit longer, for an open title.
Kendra: And hopefully JP Spears can get his belt back.
Arvin: Or we can continue the trend of first time champs.
Simon: Wait, we're getting an update on the scheduled Anti-System vs EM Powered Match...
A camera goes backstage, but we stay in the arena, as Abyss Breaker is just launching members of EM Powered through catering tables, merch stands, glass poster frames, and windows.
TVN and Cobie Smulders manage to get out to their cars only slightly bruised and leave the stadium. Ms. Pencil and DAMN hide away in the Crypt.
The rest leave in ambulances.
This match probably isn't happening tonight.
Simon: The chaos and absolute decimation of EM Powered has left them unable to compete tonight. And I have doubts that many of them will be cleared for Thanksgiving. Abyss Breaker was unleashed tonight and I'd be lying if I said I didn't have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, if anyone deserves it, it's them. On the other, does anyone?
Arvin: Colin is going to get an EARFUL when EM He gets back from the emergency room.
Simon: And that's the EM Tea.
The crowd boos this.
Kendra: I liked it.
Simon: Small comfort, but thanks. We were saying-
Kendra: Right. JP Spears is on the road to claim a feat that few if any have made, and that's to be a three time champion. I'm pretty excited about this next match.
Arvin: On the other side of it, Matt Martigon stole his way into this match, and I have to applaud his tenacity in doing so.
Simon: Either way, there will be no question afterwards as to who is the rightful US Champ.
Ash: The following is a No Holds Barred Match scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
That Same One Asshole: Doot! D- He gets his ass kicked again. Just go home dude.
Hand Clapper starts playing and the crowd starts to clap along.
Ash: First! From Charlotte, North Carolina, weighing in at 215 pounds, J! P! SPEARS!!
JP runs out as the tron starts to play his reel and he plays to the crowd, clapping to either side before starting a jog towards the ring.
He slides under the bottom rope and takes off his cut-off T-shirt and throws it into the crowd.
Dark blue lighting and dark smoke building up for Martigon to slowly walk through Scott Hall/Penta Jr style.
Ash: And his opponent! From Ottawa, Canada, weighing in at 233 pounds, THE WICKED DEADLY, MATT! MARTIGON!!
Matt starts to interact with the crowd when JP drives him down with a Hit Stick onto the Ramp! He lays punches into him as the Bell Rings!
Kendra: JP wasn't going to let Martigon get the best of him again, and he struck first. JP grabs Martigon by his jacket and whips him back first into the barricade! Matt unlocked a fire in JP we haven't seen in some time and he has his jacket over his head hockey style as he's laying into him with hooks.
Simon: Matt knees JP in the stomach, and a second one to get him away, Matt loses the jacket and is throwing hooks back and switching it up to knees, he ties JP's hands around the barricade and just working the midsection with hooks and knees! Blasting European Uppercuts in the head of JP, loading himself back and Spinning Wheel Kick BUT JP DUCKS! Manages to just miss and Martigon airballs, JP with a bulldog drops Matt's head on the ramp!!
Arvin: Matt up quickly, spins JP around and Fallaway Slam right back into the barricade, and it's already bending it back, Matt Martigon scoops him up and Capture Suplex back onto the ramp. JP tries to get up but Matt ready for him - Double Underhook DDT!
Kendra: They have to get to the ring before they can win the match, but I'm starting to doubt they'll even make it to the ring! JP Flapjacks Matt further down the ramp, at least trying to get us closer, gets him up and a neckbreaker!
Simon: JP heading in the direction of the ring, Matt giving chase, Matt charging at him and going for the spinning wheel, JP catches him out and a Spinebuster! JP able to reach the apron, waiting for Matt with brutal intentions just dripping on his face, Matt to the apron, JP comes down for the Scoreboard Blockbuster and Matt just NOPES him! Northern Lights Suplex by Martigon onto the steps!!
Arvin: Martigon under the apron, he's looking for SOMETHING...ooooh we're getting a table! This could get spicy! Martigon sets it up, scooping JP and looking for that Northern Lights....JP GETS HIS FEET DOWN! PANCAKES MARTIGON THROUGH HIS OWN TABLE!
Kendra: JP under the apron now, he's getting a chair, okay we're going classic....two chairs....he's sitting them up as their own table! Martigon could be looking at some brain damage if he's not careful! Laying Matt's head in the seated part, and we're going up again, could we be seeing that All-American Leg Bulldog?
NO! COFFIN DROP! HE JUST COFFIN DROPPED MARTIGON THROUGH THOSE CHAIRS!
Simon: Spears wants his title back, and you can see he's going through every direction to get it as he rolls Matt into the ring.
Kendra: He's going down and he grabs another chair OH Martigon is QUICK to his feet, Martigon going for a run, over the ropes and Suicide Spinning Wheel Kick! He just Vandaminated from a Distance!!!
Crowd: This is awesome! This is awesome!
Arvin: See, it's matches like this why I got into the business in the first place. Martigon and Spears pulling out not just the stops but the yields and the right turn onlys. Martigon gets Spears up and Sky High NO REVERSAL INTO A FRANKENSTEINER! MARTIGON'S BACK HITS THE BARRICADE!
Simon: The look on Spears' face is showing that he's operating on fumes and fans right now. I don't know what's going to happen to him. Spears back into the ring, I'd wait just a second to recuperate, but clearly I'm not JP Spears and TOPE CON HILO!! THAT BARRICADE IS DOWN!!!
Kendra: Spears comes to collect Martigon, and this one is pretty much written in the books folks. JP Spears is looking to be your 3-time US Champion, and he's making a pretty compelling case for it. Spears gets Martigon into the ring, getting himself to another corner and one more Hit Stick is going to pretty much tie this one down.
Arvin: Martigon you put up a hell of a fight, but the man is the MVP for a reason. Martigon to his feet, and the inevitable is coming
HE CATCHES HIM INTO A SPINNING IMPALER!!! CHAOTIC NEUTRAL!!!! WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!!!!
Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Matt Martigon wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, and the NEW United States Champion, The WICKED DEADLY! MATT! MARTIGON!!!
Matt gets face first with the nearest camera and holds his new US title into it as he says “Violent, vile and viral… JUST HOW I DREW IT UP”
Kendra: You can have all the feelings in the world - I know I do - about JP Spears once again being denied his US belt, but Matt Martigon earned this win.
Simon: WildFire is so far the only champion to retain his title.
Arvin: I mean, Diana Dresden still holds a Trios belt thanks to some wild maneuvering.
Kendra: Yeah, I guess we can give that half-credit? So, 1.5 belts retained. Let's find out if Elijah can fare better.
Ash: The following contest is a Papa Boi's Den Match and it is for the Infernal Crown Title! In order to win, you must put your opponent through 2 consecutive tables!
As the song's preamble plays through the speakers, the lights go out. The fans decide to illuminate their surroundings with their cell phones and a few small, low-powered flashlights. They look like stars in the infinity of cold outer space. A white mist begins to cover the entrance aisle to the ring.
And suddenly, the silhouette of a robust wrestler appears, holding an old lantern; one of those kerosene ones. Masked with what appears to be a dried animal skin mask... A lamb, specifically... Along with the music, he abruptly tears off his mask, revealing himself as Gilberto J.
Ash: Introducing the Challenger! From the Jungle, weighing in at 285 pounds, he is the King of the Jungle, GILBERTO! J!
At the same time, he begins his walk to the ring. He walks heavily, each step slow but deliberate. A smile is visible on his face; like a predator finding its prey. He continues this way until his entrance is complete, entering the ring under the ropes; laughing out loud.
Visuals play on the tron of folklore creatures of the Caribbean, ending slowly with Lagahoo / Douen/ Papa Bois and finally The Midnight robber. At this point Elijah enters, book in one hand and title draped over his shoulder.
Elijah: Romania! LET ME TELL YOU A STOOOOOOOORY!
The crowd cheers loudly at this.
Ash: AND THE CHAMPION! From Trinidad and Tobago, weighing in at 248 pounds, he is the Infernal Crown Champion, the Cryptic One, ELIIIIIIIJAH!
Elijah places the book and the title at the edge of the ring and enters to an insane amount of cheers. The bell rings!
Simon: The title is just part of what's at stake for these two. Both of them have claimed stewardship over the jungle and the forest, and we'll see if the throne or the lore is stronger.
Kendra: Elijah and Gilberto lock up, the balance of power shifting between the two and I don't know where we'll end up...Gilberto J using his extra bit of weight to leverage the hold but is it enough... Elijah trying to shift weight between feet to counterbalance but Gilberto gets him up in a Bearhug!
Arvin: Strength beats brains.
Simon: Not so fast, Elijah with a bell clap and a headbutt, Gilberto starting to lose his grip, Elijah trying to break the hold, pushing back with his feet, and ends up with a DDT! Elijah scoops up Gilberto quickly and a bodyslam!! Up again... tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!!!
Kendra: He'd probably benefit from keeping Gilberto down a little more before making any big moves. This card has been littered with people who walked off too soon, given too many chances to breathe and paid for it.
Arvin: Maybe his brains aren't quite as big as you were boasting.
Simon: Jealousy is an ugly color, Arvin. Cryptic Stomp to Gilberto's legs, and he's dragging Gilberto by the legs, OH GILBERTO BOOTS HIM IN THE STOMACH! ANOTHER ONE PUSHES ELI BACK AND GILBERTO IS TO HIS FEET! CLOTHESLINE INTO THE CORNER, GILBERTO GETS ELI UP AND CLIMBS UP WITH HIM.... SUPER FALLAWAY SOUNDS ELIJAH BACK TO REALITY!!!
Kendra: He's still gonna need to put him through not 1, but 2 separate tables. This move was great, but all it's gonna do is soften Eli up.
Arvin: You should know from your own ring time how important that is. A limp opponent is an easy opponent.
Simon: Man speaks from experience.
Arvin: Meow you, Costco Colin.
Simon: Well, Gilberto rolls out of the ring to get his first table. Setting it up...outside...over the steps. Certainly a choice, but one that suggests we're about to get a repeat maneuver.
Kendra: Gilberto back into the ring and Eli right where he left him.
Arvin: Did he wink? Can we get a close-up camera on that?
Simon: NOW who's being paranoid?
Kendra: Gilberto lifting Eli up, and sure enough we're gonna get a repeat of did you call Simon Costco Colin?
Arvin: Yeah, like a knockoff.
Simon: I don't think you know what Costco is. Anyway Gilberto looking to take Elijah Back to Reality again, Elijah grabs Gilberto's hair and holds on! Gilberto shakes him off, going again, Elijah once again grabs the hair TOP ROPE VARIATION OF THE LAGAHOO BULLDOG!!! HE PLANTS GILBERTO THROUGH HIS OWN TABLE!!!
Arvin: Wily Bastard.
Ash: Elijah has notched his first table!
Simon: Gilberto is PISSED! HE HAS ELIJAH'S HAIR AND HE'S SLAMMING HIS FACE AGAINST THE STEEL STEPS!!!
Kendra: Uh-uh-uh. You don't do that. Elijah gets him up into a Samoan Drop and onto the unforgiving floor! Gilberto up SNAP DOUBLE UNDERHOOK DDT ON THE STEPS!! FACTOR G!!!
Arvin: He's gonna take the advantage right now, I can feel it, getting a table out and setting it once again over the stairs, he puts Elijah on it.
Simon: I feel like he could have just slammed Elijah through it but no, apparently he wants to go big or go home. Up to the apron...
The lights go out and the tron flickers to life for a second-
Elijah senses an opportunity and tilts his body just enough to miss the inevitable landing. Gilberto doesn't see this. The tron flickers back off and Gilberto takes a leap with an elbow drop...
Kendra: ELIJAH ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY!!! GILBERTO JUST MET HIS SECOND TABLE!!!
Elijah wins by double elimination!
Ash: Here is your winner, and STILL Infernal Crown Champion.... The Cryptic One.... ELIJAH!!
The crowd yells "TELL US A STORY!!!" as he holds the belt up high. Suddenly the lights go out again, and Elijah slips into the darkness.
The tron flickers to life, blindingly white, like a flashbulb war. A jaunty, mischievous piano rag begins anew, the unmistakable strains of “Hot Dog Rag” by the Claviolines, plinking and bouncing through the speakers.
There’s nothing but a long, greasy catering table in the first shot. Five or six hotdogs sit there like tiny victims waiting for judgment. The camera pans slowly, lovingly, as if each one deserves its own tragic backstory. A gloved hand enters frame: black leather, finger-less, lace-trimmed, with neon pink zebra stripes screaming “fashionably psychotic.” A second glove goes over the top of the first glove, a disposable latex glove. The hand hovers dramatically over the first hotdog—No bun, just naked sausage. She nudges it gently, like testing its soul. It rolls off the edge of the table in slow motion, hits the floor with a disgusting plop, and one end splits open like a cheap horror prop. Ambulance sirens wail in the background
'EEEE-OOOO EEEE-OOOO'
A soft female voice mutters “sausage down. male, incapacitated, no pulse,” and before anyone can mourn, a boot—glossy, black, toe pointed like a dagger—kicks the exploded mess off-screen. On the tron, the words appear:
“NEROOOO. ALWAYS FALLING FOR ME. PUT OUT OF COMMISSION. CANT MAKE HIS NEXT MATCH NOW. WOMP WOMP”
The crowd hoots, coupled with fake laugh audio pumping through the speakers.
The loop of the fake laughing skips and replays over and over
HA
Ha
HA
h-Ha
HA
Ha
HA
h-Ha
HA
Ha
HA
h-Ha h-Ha h-Ha h-Ha h-Hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
Suddenly the latex glove is ripped off, and the hotdog stand is pushed over. Hotdogs go flying all over the place and condiments are splattered everywhere. Some mayonaise is even splattered onto the camera lens.
The pissed off Jassy finally comes into frame with the mayofied filter still on screen. Up close and personal. The normal audio hasnt even kicked back in, and fans are just watching a crazy woman mouth off at the camera as if her whole tirade would be meowed out anyways.
Jassy's rolling her eyes, and rolling her neck and throwing her arms around as she goes on a tirade. The audio glitches in and out, and everyone watching is trying to hear what she is saying.
"..ucking can't ev... get th... -shhhhh-...-erkkk-...-krack-... to work. Idiot McDoogal Brainfart Col...-krpp-...fighhh-... -waaaap-...-ting...-zizzzzzzz-... other doofus idiot mssss...-zzrg-...pigs. Just to...-kch-... ta... the biggest piece of dirt tras... as...-png-...hole... wanker... in all of MAWL... I didn't even want the stupid match. Just like I didn't want to do this stupid hotdog gag. Who's bloody idea was this?"
Jassy looks at one of the hotdogs. A shrivelled up Lincolnshire Chipolata covered in mustard. The production team finally gets the audio to work properly, and Jassy is shaking her head.
"Look at that! I don't have to tell you which dickwad that hotdog represented. And to think I was going to swallow it whole too as a way of sending a message. Maybe I will, but not today. Wouldn't you rats love to see that?. Of course yous would. Especially you dirty little minded pervs out there, watching the sex goddess who blows your minds every week. But let me cut this short because a girl has other business to take care of."
Jassy starts holding up fingers as she lists off everything and everyone on her list.
"Firstly, E.M Powered! Bitches get stitches, and I'm coming back for my title."
A production assistant timidly whispers that EM Powered no longer has the Trios belts. Jassy slaps him hard enough to cause a moment of feedback and mouths "Don't ever correct me" before continuing unabated.
"As soon as I deal with, the next two people on my list. Morgan and Guinevere. You may now be in Zora's family Guinevere, which makes you a sister in arms. But don't think i'm going to let that little side move slide Morgan. I'll show you what moves a real boss girl makes, and how I deal with disloyalty. Because there's one thing I absolutely hate and cannot stand, and that's betrayal, and I feel like that was a teeny bit too much, and next thing you know, you're stabbing me in the back, and double crossing me, and we can't have that now can we."
Jassy pulls out a sharp knife and slowly licks the blade, then picks up a random sausage lying on the ground, and dramatically stabs it while putting on a big grinning face. Ketchup drips from the sausage like blood.
Jassy: "See look darling, I can play your game. And that's why when I found out you had jump ship, I quickly found an upgrade and replaced you just like that. Out with the old, and in with the new, sexier, baddest baddie of them all, with more B.D.E than a locker full of loser men. Give it up for Biancaaaaaaa Diazzzzzz. Yayyyyyy"
Crowd: "Booooooo!"
Jassy throws her hands up like she was imitating a large crowd cheering. She slowly spins in a 360 degree motion as Bianca Diaz moves into frame next to Jassy, and as Jassy spins back towards the camera, she lowers her arm around Bianca's neck and places her hand on her shoulder. The two of them pose for the camera and smile.
Jassy: "Don't boo her, you ingrates! I fricken love this babe right here. She saw an opportunity, she didn't hesitate to reach out and offer to help me out. And we came together with the idea to form a new initiative and team, and it felt right. It felt good. And since she's an absolute bomb shell, and i'm the hottest thing in MAWL right now, and we both dominate where ever we go, it was only fitting to name ourselves 'Sex Appeal'.
Crowd: "BOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Bianca: Oh, booo, boooo, you know how much I busted my ass making every one of your favorites look good? How I sat in that third rate office chair denying myself so you bozos could be entertained? Yeah, boo. boo. Boo yourself bitches. Ever since your ungratefulness moved me out of that seat, you've all been deprived my perfect dulcet tones, my ring knowledge, and the announcing in this place has suffered for it. See this Apple?
Bianca holds up an Apple.
Bianca: This Apple has more charisma, more chutzpah, more raw dripping sex appeal than the one in the booth.
Simon: HEYYY.
Bianca: Now that my favorite babe and I are fully ourselves, full out from under the thumb of some loser-ass insecure incompetent "higher up" whose brains aren't enough to paint my toenails, now that we are fully formed, fully in our element, I'll put your damn boos on my sensuality playlist and it'll take me right where I need to be, the top. Cause we're tops in EVERYTHING we do. Top of the Fed and Top in the Bed, and that's the Sex Appeal Promise, bitches.
Jassy and Bianca both pose again flashing their smiles, and showing off their new looks.
Jassy: "But that wasn't the only move I made, oh no. I can tell you now, 'Sex Appeal' isn't stopping at the two of us. We've decided to hold some try outs, and send out an open invitation to those women out there that feel like they have what it takes to be a part of 'Sex Appeal'. In fact, we actually already have a new member waiting to be revealed, but that ones going to be a bit of a surprise, and she might make herself known later on in the show, who knows. But I can guarantee, that you're all going to love it. Especially you Morgan doll."
Jassy nods her head slowly as if she knows her words are gospel, and irrefutable. Her eye brows slow raising and her eyes matching the vibe too.
Jassy: "...And Lucenza sweetie, don't worry my love. You'll have an opportunity to join back up with me too, and i'm positive, you'll check all the boxes, and be in 'Sex Appeal'. I just know it."
Jassy pauses for a second.
Jassy: "But there is something I don't know, and this brings me to my last point of business... Yep, Jassy is a genius, but she doesn't know everything, and what is baffling me right now, at this very moment is 'Why the hell is my little sister, my protege Bloodswan thinking she can, 'spoiler alert', up and leave MAWL, and thinks that is okay?'. It's a thousand percent not okay with me, and I want to know what's so damn good out there, that she wants to pass up being in Z.L.I with me. I know she has always been a stubborn wee thang, but I didn't know she inherited boring ass you know who's lameness, stupidity, and willingness to just abandon others. I... JUST... DON'T... GET... IT!! Fine Bloodswan. Swan. Claudia. Claudie, whatever. I don't care! I don't want to know your stupid pathetic reason for wanting to leave. Maybe I should be applauding you for getting away from..."
Jassy sighs, and refrains from finishing what she was going to say.
Jassy: "Look, if you're really going, and it breaks my heart, then I have one request. One final match... Just us two.
Jassy: "I'll even let you pick the stipulation... Just one last match for old times sakes, a farewell, a send off... Remember when we fought together side by side, before all that mess that happened, remember all the good times we had, the nights out we partied, the drinks, the dancing, the laughing, the memories. And remember when... remember when you said you'll never leave me? I really didn't want to leave you, and hoped you would've came with me, oh my god, I sound like a broken record. But I never left you Claudie, and... listen, just join me! Z.L.I is amazeballs, you'll love it I swear, please just stay...
Anyways, if that won't convince you, then lets have the match. I won't bring Bianca or anyone else in my new group, and you leave your team mates out of it. But if I win, you'll consider joining me? If I lose, then i'll accept that you want to leave for whatever reason, and I won't say any more."
Jassy turns away with a slight hint of sadness in her demeanor. But then switches up when she sees Tony, her cute fluffy Pomeranian doggo running from off screen, and start nipping at all the sausages laden on the ground. It's tiny paw perched on a charred Bratwurst to hold it in place and its teeth pierce and pop through the sausage skin, and rip away at the meat inside. With that, she picks up the dog who, keeps the half eaten sausage in it's mouth, until Jassy shoves the dog up to the camera. The dog immediately drops the sausage from its mouth, and starts licking the mayo still splattered on the camera lens. The dogs tongue smudges and wipes the mayo all over the camera, and so the promo ends, and the camera fades out.
Simon: And with... that...interlude we head to the Crypt! Where we have 13 fighters... so far... and 12 doors. One of them contains the briefcase, one of them contains an exit, and there are a combination of traps and combatants waiting to get crazy.
Kendra: When a door opens, it stays open and you can knock your opponents into any empty or trap door. And when all but one of the doors open, we have a strange contraption that closes and shuffles the door.
Arvin: So anything can happen! Anything will happen! Let's take it down to the Crypt.
CRYPT MATCH
MONEY IN THE BANK
The door opens and the 13 competitors enter.
Damian Blackheart immediately begins beating Storm Rider senseless with a cane, wraps him up into a brainbuster position, and drives him into a Plaguebringer!!
Lynx attempts to take advantage of Storm Rider being down and attempts a running elbow - Storm Rider launches Lynx with a monkey flip into a door! Storm Rider attempts to open a door, and starts to get it open, Lynx smashes his head into the door.
XEL attempts to open a door, thinking that he is going undetected when -
Lucenza boots him into a wall!
Will Corrigan grabs Storm Rider by the waist and launches him away from the doors with a German Suplex! XEL hits a huge spinning wheel kick on Cellula, bounces off him and dropkick to Ms. Pencil!
Ms. Pencil is up with a low blow kick to Damian Blackheart, and elbow to his spine, jumps off his back to hit a running senton into High Flyer Mono, who gets pushed back into the concrete wall.
Ms. Pencil is back to her feet and smashes Daria Donner's grabs her hair as she smashes her head into a door.
Ms. Pencil pulls at the handle of a door - she almost gets the handle open but Daria pushes the door back shut. Cellula lifts up Solemn Guardian -
- and absolutely blasts him with a Ghost Step Spinebuster! And Will Corrigan blasts Imogen with a Spear!!
Cellula elbows Daria away from the door and goes for a handle, Daria pulls him away with an atomic drop! Jacen Tarot takes a little jog-
- and body checks Mono against the wall. Imogen tries to get to her feet but Ms. Pencil dropkicks her against the wall too.
WILL CORRIGAN SUPERKICKS XEL INTO A DOOR! XEL CRUMPLES ON THE DOOR, and Will attempts to open it but XEL's body creates an effective door stop and Storm Rider swings him around before scooping him up and blasting him with a Samoan Drop. XEL to his feet with a jawbreaker to Mono, Imogen with a Lasting Impression to her former teammate Lucenza, who eats the jumping Unprettier!! Imogen attempts to open a door, only for Will Corrigan to push her against it with a Running Big Boot.
Lucenza with a huge spinning high kick to XEL, dropping him back onto the hard concrete. Solemn Guardian with the Conciliation Samoan Drop to Tarot! Mono to his feet and attempting to get a door open, stopped by Jacen Tarot with a spinning back suplex. Imogen waiting for Tarot and on his way up she lands a punch to his face. Corrigan attempts to lift Pencil up for a chokeslam, but she rakes his eyes. Damian attempts to take advantage with a boot but Corrigan launches him with an exploder suplex.
Cellula blasts Lynx with the Ghost Step Spinebuster and attempts to open a door - he is starting to crack it, but Blackheart pushes the door closed with his foot. Ms. Pencil hits Lucenza with a Poison Rana, and High Flyer hits the same on Corrigan. Daria follows up with that with a Curb Stomp to Corrigan! BUT LYNX IS RIGHT BEHIND DARIA AND TILT-A-WHIRL HEADSCISSORS! Lynx attempts to open a door but Daria swings him around, F5! Or as she calls it, 5D!
High Flyer Mono hits a Backstabber on Will Corrigan and goes for a door, and he does it!! The door is open and-
TWIN BARRELS KAY LEE FROM XHW IS NOW IN THIS MATCH!
Lucenza with a HUGE Uranage to XEL! She attempts to open a door, but Damian Blackheart smashes an urn on the back of her head! XEL kips up and hits Solemn Guardian with a spinning back elbow. Kay Lee locks up Mono's head and double punches it. Damian with a knee shot to XEL. Storm Rider with a headbutt to Kay Lee, which XEL mirrors to Corrigan. XEL takes a run and spinning wheel kick to Lynx, this puts XEL right by a door! XEL attempts to open it but Lynx German Suplexes him away from it! Lynx now attempting to open it but Kay Lee charges him full speed and slams him against it.
Blackheart with a big backbreaker to Lucenza, and goes for the door Lucenza was trying. He starts to pry it open...he's almost there and it looks like we can get another one open LUCENZA SLAMS THE DOOR ON HIS HEAD! He falls down in such a way that the door closes before Lucenza can get her hands in.
XEL hits a leg sweep kick on Will Corrigan and attempts to open a door - only for Corrigan to trip him back.
Cellula gets a headlock on Lucenza and throws some punches at her face. IMOGEN WITH THE LASTING IMPRESSION ON MS. PENCIL!! And she goes for a door- yanking hard... the door flies open! To reveal...
That the floor gives out!!! IMOGEN IS SLID INTO A HOLE AND OUT OF THIS MATCH!!!
Solemn Guardian with a huge chop to Cellula. Cellula steps back a bit, but locks the Taglio Della Golla, a modified Cobra Clutch, on Blackheart!
Once Blackheart goes lips, Cellula attempts a door and he gets it open...
DAMN enters the match!!
Guardian attempts to get to his feet, but Mono dropkicks him back down.
Damian Blackheart with a cane upside the head of Lynx! And upside the head of Cellula! Lynx a little punch drunk and swings for Damian but misses and hits XEL. Daria with an eye rake to Kay Lee. Kay Lee attempts to punch back but Daria ducks and DAMN takes it instead. Guardian with a bionic elbow to move Cellula out of the way of a door and looking to open it-and he gets it open!
Erika Ishii enters the match!!
Ms. Pencil goes for a door - and she gets one open!
Capybara enters the match!!
Lynx takes a run at Will Corrigan, handstand onto his shoulders... APEX CUTTER! And Lynx looking towards a door...HE DROPKICKS CORRIGAN INTO AN OPEN DOOR AND CLOSES IT!! Corrigan has been closed into a room!
DAMN smashes High Flyer Mono with a Brass Knuckle Punch! High Flyer to his feet, DAMN loads another one and High Flyer rolls out of the way, DAMN'S cohort Ms. Pencil is the unfortunate recipient! Solemn waits for Mono to get to his feet and drops him back down with a scoop slam. Kay Lee stomps Pencil on the ground. Ishii with a ripcord lariat to DAMN! Tarot jabs Cellula, Storm with a chop to Lucenza. Cellula swings around with a forearm shot to DAMN before returning the punch to Tarot.
Lucenza with a series of chops to Ishii and rolls past a retaliation punch to go to a door handle, but Ishii back to her feet and lifts Lucenza over her head... Airplane Spin to a Back Body Drop! The Dropout! Ishii going for the door instead-but she gets turned around and clearly hasn't been paying attention, as she lets Corrigan back out!
Mono attempting to scoop Ms. Pencil up, but she eye rakes him. Corrigan hits an Inverted Suplex on Blackheart. Jacen Tarot sneaks away and gets a door open-
Oriana Burkhardt enters the match!!
Corrigan looks for his revenge on Lynx and starts with a headbutt. XEL sets Capybara up in an Inverted Piledriver...
pause for effect...
Singularity Spike!! XEL goes towards one of the remaining closed doors and opens it quickly before he can be noticed...
Neon Juan Guyverno enters this match!!
Jacen Tarot punches Kay Lee in the throat. Capybara smashes Mono with a running headbutt, and seems to be making his way to a door- STORM RIDER BEHIND HIM AND WHIPS HIM HEAD FIRST INTO A WALL! Storm looking at the doors, goes for an unopened one... pulls it open quickly...
ROBERTOS MICHAEL ENTERS THE MATCH!! He's back after his victory!!
Oriana lifts DAMN over her head...goes for a spin and Military Press! ORIGIN! She tosses DAMN in the room Robertos was in and closes the door!
Mono hits Tarot with a backhand chop. Kay Lee with a running clothesline takes down Burkhardt. Mono with a running headscissors takes Corrigan back to the ground, and Mono goes for a door-he throws Corrigan back in the same room he was in before and closes the door again!! And he takes a run at Pencil, spinning neckbreaker! Going for another door, but Lynx dropkicks him in the back! Lynx goes for a closed door... the door rattles. The door moans. The door warns.
Lynx opens it anyway.
AZTEC ENTERS THE FRAY!!!
Oriana with clubbing blows to Mono, AZTEC TOSSES HER INTO THE DOOR FROM WHICH SHE CAME! AND THE DOOR CLOSES!
Ms. Pencil hits Capybara with a brutal chop to the back of the neck. Donner with a kick to the midsection of Ishii. Ms. Pencil starts to approach a room but realizes it was the one where the floor dropped and steps herself back. Cellula gets her by the back of her jacket and tosses her into the room that contained Will Corrigan! He shuts the door on her and Corrigan comes back out right beforehand!
Lucenza hits a chop block on Tarot and immediately eats a boot to the face by Solemn Guardian! Solemn goes to open a door, Oriana Burkhardt is behind there! She pulls him in and steps back out!!
Stiff punch by Cellula to Capybara. Corrigan headbutts Blackheart. Capybara back to his feet, Arm Hooked Dragon Sleeper to Mono! It's a Nightcap! Neon Juan hits a tilt-a-whirl headscissors on Aztec. Aztec back to his feet quickly and stares him down, as Robertos Michael lays a series of headlock punches on Donner. Capybara lets go of the Nightcap and a chop to Burkhardt.
Lucenza hits a Tiger Suplex on Corrigan and drags him to an open door, Tiger Suplex again and the floor gives way, sending Corrigan sliding out of this match!!
Blackheart with an elbow butt to Lynx. XEL hits a Singularity Spike on Neon Juan, and opens one of the last doors...
IT'S THE EXIT!!!
Once the briefcase is found, it needs to be taken to the exit, but XEL ends that hope for Neon Juan by tossing him into the exit and out of the match.
Daria Donner hits the 5D on Erika Ishii!! Daria opens a closed door, Solemn Guardian comes back out and Daria tosses Erika Ishii in!! Kay Lee waits for Daria to close the door then boots her into the steel. DARIA HITS A 5D ON LUCENZA ROSSI!!! There's some infighting in ZLI going on!!!
Daria opens one of the last unopened doors... and is PULLED INTO THE DARKNESS AND OUT OF THE MATCH!!!! UNLUCKY!!
The lights flicker and alarms go off. The last door to be untouched clearly contains the briefcase. Which means....
That the doors all shut and shuffle.
Lynx attempts to open one, only for Jacen Tarot to hit him with a Polish Hammer to the back. Storm Rider hits a big suplex on Cellula. Kay Lee attempts to get to a door, only for Storm Rider to take her down with a spinning DDT. Capybara hits Lucenza with a punch. Blackheart drops Mono with a Powerbomb, and Michael drops an elbow on him before hitting XEL with a running knee.
Solemn Guardian hits a knee smash on Kay Lee; Blackheart grabs Solemn by the legs and bashes Aztec with him! Capybara waits on one end of the room... SHINING WIZARD ACROSS THE ROOM TO CELLULA! RIVERBOAT!
Capybara attempts to open a door, Kay Lee hits him with a running leg lariat to knock him down; Robertos Michael takes the opportunity to get his arm and lock him in the Devil's Deal Submission!
Once Michael sees Cap as passed out, he goes for a door- DAMIAN HITS HIM WITH HIS CANE! REVERSE SPIN SLINGSHOT BY MONO ON CELLULA - FLYBY!! MONO going for a door now! Mono able to get the door open and-
Bowen Baneclaw enters the match!!
And Aztec IMMEDIATELY headbutts him! Aztec reaches for a door, but once again Damian uses that cane to stop the momentum. Baneclaw to his feet and a forearm shot strong enough to flip Mono, Bowen reaching for a door but Cap gets him in the back with a knee. Tarot with a big brainbuster to Michael.
Jacen taking a run... Revelation Neckbreaker to Cap!!
Tarot opens a door....the floor gives way! Jacen Tarot is slid out of this match!!
Aztec with a stiff punch to Capybara. Burkhardt lays Blackheart out with a boot. Storm with a piledriver to Cellula, and then one to Aztec. Michael piling on Aztec with a powerslam. Kay Lee hits a high knee shot on Mono and seeks a door, but Cap suplexes her backwards.
Solemn Guardian lifts up Bowen... OH HE LIFTS UP MICHAEL TOO.... DOUBLE CONCILIATION SAMOAN DROP! HE'S ABLE TO GET A DOOR OPEN-
ERIKA ISHII IS BACK IN THE MATCH! Ishii thanks him with a slap! Burkhardt hits Storm with an elbow shot. Blackheart with a brutal backbreaker to Lucenza. BLACKHEART WITH THE PLAGUEBRINGER TO KAY LEE!!!
Blackheart opens a closed door...
Tiki Chamorro enters the match!
Cellula with a knife edge chop to Michael. XEL and Damian with a double suplex to Oriana! Guardian pushes Lynx into the trap door! The floor gives way and Lynx is out!
Storm Rider attempts to open a door....he gets it open...
Tiki's former partner Randi Rah-Rah enters the match, AND throws Storm Rider into her room in her place!! She shuts the door!
Headscissors by XEL to Robertos Michael! RANDI PARKOURS OFF THE WALL AND SPLASH TO CAPYBARA AND ERIKA ISHII!! SHE DUMPS BOTH OF THEM INTO THE TRAP DOOR!!! She turns around right into an STO by Solemn!
Oriana Burkhardt tosses Bowen Baneclaw back behind his original door and closes him back in! Solemn Guardian hits the Precipice Stunner on Tiki!! He goes to bring her to the open door with the bad floor, she comes to and monkey flips him into it! Guardian is out!!
Randi with a spin kick to Lucenza, Lucenza to her feet and Kay Lee ready with a dropsault! Kay Lee gets a door open...
DAMN is back! Is there even a briefcase here??
Lucenza back to her feet, and a running bicycle kick to Aztec!! XEL with a trio of chops to Tiki, DAMN with a leg bulldog to Aztec!! DAMN going for a door, but Oriana bulldogs her down and Tiki waiting for Oriana, blasts her with a high angle dropkick that staggers her back! Lucenza with a slap to Oriana, and one to XEL, and she goes for the door, tosses XEL in and closes the door!
DAMN hits Aztec with a stomp as he gets back to his feet, then turns around a face smash on Tiki into her knee. ORIGIN TO LUCENZA! And Oriana goes to open a door-AND IS PULLED INTO THE DARKNESS! SHE IS OUT OF THIS MATCH!
Damian Blackheart gets Robertos Michael up... PLAGUEBRINGER!!! Blackheart opens a door... out comes Storm Rider but in goes Robertos Michael!!
Blackheart PLAGUEBRINGER TO KAY LEE!!! Opens a door...
Legacy Champ Superstar Davy Boy enters the match!
Kay Lee with a leg trip to Blackheart, and Davy Boy with a running floatover DDT to DAMN. Mono hits a huge dropkick to the head of Cellula and goes for a door, he is able to get it open, throws Cellula in and shuts the door.
Tiki with a mid kick to Blackheart, then Parkours off the wall and Tiki Bomb to her former partner Randi!!!
Tiki going for a door, but Kay Lee smashes her head into a wall and Blackheart follows that up with a knee to her face. Lucenza hits Kay Lee with those dreaded brass knuckles. Aztec short-arms Mono and DAMN hits a Fisherman Buster on him!! DAMN going for a door-Kay Lee smashes her head into the ground and goes for one herself, thinks about it and tosses DAMN to the mysterious grabbing force! DAMN is out of the match entirely!
Randi opens a door... IT'S THE BRIEFCASE!!! THE BRIEFCASE HAS BEEN FOUND!!! NOW SHE JUST NEEDS TO GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE IT'S TAKEN!
Tiki tries to grab it from her partner... Randi smashes her in the face with it and sends her to the trap door!! Tiki is out of this match!!
Kay Lee hits a dropkick on Mono, Mono bangs his head on the wall! Blackheart canes Aztec in the legs! Blackheart opens a door... Baneclaw re-enters this match!
Tiger Driver by Lucenza to High Flyer!! Lucenza opens a door...
Lottie Axo enters the match! Which means of the two unopened doors, one is the exit and one is Ms. Pencil.
Randi smashes the briefcase in Davy Boy's face! And she heads for a door... she chooses to close Davy Boy back up!
Lucenza seeks a door...
Ms. Pencil re-enters the match...and drags Lucenza into her door, closing her in!
Only one door remaining means that it is time to reshuffle!
Quick punch by Randi to Mono. Lottie Axo goes into a handstand, bell claps Ms. Pencil with her legs!! She calls that The Gills! Goes to open a door... Cellula pulls her in and re-enters the match, where he immediately drills first Aztec and then Kay Lee with the Ghost Step Spinebuster! He tries to open a door, but Blackheart smashes his head against it. Storm Rider picks Kay Lee up, and Tiger Driver 93 to her! Goes for a door-
Pinoy Power Surge enters the match!
Kay Lee throws Ms. Pencil in Pinoy's door and shuts it! Mono hits a flip stunner on Bowen Baneclaw! Kay Lee runs up with a leg drop on Bowen. Mono with a back suplex on Storm Rider, dropping him on his head. Pinoy with a spinning knee strike to Aztec. Aztec to his feet... Aztec and Randi with a double choke slam to Pinoy!
Bowen hits a powerslam on Cellula, Blackheart ready for Bowen on his way up and Uranage! Storm Rider charges Randi with a clothesline, Randi with a split to duck out of the way, kip up with a tornado spin kick! Bowen gets Mono up and Electric Chair Driver! Bowen goes to open a door, almost has it...Randi smashes him with the briefcase!
Kay Lee hits a jawbreaker on Storm. Randi hits a dropkick on Aztec. PINOY HITS THE SURGIN GENERAL ON RANDI AND TAKES THE BRIEFCASE! She opens a door... LOTTIE AXO STANDS IN WAIT! LOTTIE GRABS THE BRIEFCASE OFF PINOY AND DRAGS HER INTO THE ROOM!! PINOY IS CLOSED IN!!
FLYBY BY MONO TO DAMIAN!!! Mono tries to open a door, Bowen charges him with a Polish Hammer.
Lottie Axo with a briefcase shot to the face of Aztec and going for the door-where she is pulled out of the match!! Aztec gains control of the briefcase!!
Damian goes to open a door, and does only to find-
Hazel Clarke enters the match!
Aztec goes hunting for the exit, but lets Pinoy Power Surge back into the match! Hazel and Pinoy begin throwing punches at each other, here comes Kay Lee and Kay Lee gets them both down with a double-arm bulldog!
Kay Lee hits a single leg dropkick on Cellula, and seeks a door but Pinoy punches her before she can turn the handle and Bowen follows that up with a spinning powerbomb. Cellula to his feet, devastating Ghost Step to Mono, opens a door and it's XEL, who trades places and closes Cellula in!!
Aztec Bomb to Mono... Aztec opens a door.... HE FINDS THE EXIT!
Aztec wins the Briefcase!
At least, that's what the raw footage will tell you.
That's what happened.
Beneath the silence and complicity of the locker room, within the minds of those present, the truth of those events sit stapled to the murder board.
But then what happened?
A glitch in the data.
1s and 0s placed, and replaced.
Pre-recorded footage that has gone through the sifters, distilled and distilled again, as the finest whisky.
Here is what you saw.
ROBERTOS MICHAEL ENTERS THE MATCH!! He's back after his victory!!
Oriana lifts DAMN over her head...goes for a spin and Military Press! ORIGIN! She tosses DAMN in the room Robertos was in and closes the door!
Mono hits Tarot with a backhand chop. Kay Lee with a running clothesline takes down Burkhardt. Mono with a running headscissors takes Corrigan back to the ground, and Mono goes for a door-he throws Corrigan back in the same room he was in before and closes the door again!! And he takes a run at Pencil, spinning neckbreaker! Going for another door, but Lynx dropkicks him in the back! Lynx goes for a closed door... the door rattles. The door moans. The door warns.
Lynx opens it anyway.
LYNX FINDS THE BRIEFCASE!!
Robertos Michael superkicks Lynx back into the room!
Robertos Michael unloads with a superkick to Burkhardt! To Corrigan! To Pencil!! Michael takes hold of the briefcase!
Michael opens the door.... it's the EXIT!!!
Robertos Michael wins the briefcase!
This is what the officials tell you.
This is what the audience sees with their own eyes.
This is what's reflected in the Win-Loss.
This is what's repeated in the throats of the announcers. And maybe, maybe this is the footage they saw. Maybe this is what they truly believe occurred. Maybe it's what they WANT to believe occurred. Maybe the alternative is too frightening, maybe the company line is too strict and the pay too good.
This is the story that will unfold in the coming weeks and months.
A new signee, the best in his country, shows up and creates an aura of immediate dominance. He not only decimates someone half a foot taller than him, he shows up unannounced and rocks the Crypt Match, putting everyone on notice.
So, who's to say what's true? Is it the people who lived it, the people who edited it, the people who sell it or the people who see it?
And speaking of selling-
VO: The signs. Are undeniable.
The truth. Unimaginable.
The result. Unstoppable.
Aztec.
Amelia: Is coming to MAWL III as an official part of the roster! If the symbols and signs didn't lead you to the presence of Aztec in our game, then rewind and look harder. It's a roster get so hard that it even rocked the world of La Sangre Maldita. They thought they would dominate the digital sphere, but Aztec.
Is.
Here.
Colin sits at his office when there is a knock at the door.
Colin: Please, come in.
Pinoy pokes her head in hesitantly, with a disturbed look on her face, then takes a breath and sits. Colin smiles warmly and offers a box of chocolate mints.
Colin: Ms. Bigla. How can I help you?
Pinoy: Mr. McRae. I hate to be un... I... you and I know that what happened wasn't right.
Colin: I'm not sure what you-
Pinoy: (blurting) The Crypt Match! The Crypt Match! That wasn't what happened. You know it and I know it. Because I was there. But no one else would know it because it cut out before I could even enter. Robertos never even had his hand on a briefcase!
Colin: Ah. (beat) Really?
Pinoy: Yes really. And I'm not the only one! Rah Rah, Davy Boy, Hazel, Lottie Axo, and of course A-
Colin: (cutting her off) But none of you are in the footage.
Pinoy: Yes, that's my problem.
Colin: From what I saw, and from what the audience and announcers saw, Robertos Michael won the match. That you weren't in.
Pinoy: I was- why are you gaslighting me? I never knew you to be like this.
Colin: You're saying that I'm purposely lying to you, after having called you up and taken the chance on your short run in GHW?
Pinoy: I-
Colin: You and the others will still get paid, don't worry.
Pinoy: It's not a-So you ADMIT we were in the match.
Colin: I admit that you were QUEUED UP to
be in the match, that you expected the possibility of being in the match, and it would be shitty of me not to pay you just because I can't control what doors were or weren't open. If you all want, I can book you in a match later. It's a flat appearance fee though, so you won't get paid more.
Pinoy: Again, it's not- sigh - Forget it.
Colin: Will that...
Pinoy: Yes, that'll be all, SIR.
Pinoy leaves in a huff. Colin watches her leave, then a small expression of curiosity or concern - hard to tell - shows on his face.
Today's SM HeartBreaker promo is brought to you in a unknown location. Unknown to you but not unknown to SM HeartBreaker! We are in a sterile environment in a huge building full of sick people. No, No, No. We are not at a NWW show. We are LIVE! In what is known as a hospital.
As we see our least favourite resident of Parts Unknown. Enter SM HeartBreaker.
Enter SM HeartBreaker. Dressed in a Khaki button up shirt and cargo shorts.
Also wearing a slouch hat with corks dangling down.
SM: G'Day MAWL Viewers! And welcome to the first episode of "Emo Hunters"
SM: and today we are here inside this medical facility that you young kangeroos might call a hospital. There has been sites of a rare endangered species. Some people may call them a bogan or a drongo but me, I like to call these little freaks. Emos! Lets go on a wonder!
SM HeartBreaker creeps around the hospital to avoid detection as he approaches the room of the one and the only. Nero! Who is lying in bed recovering from his coma that he has not yet woken up from.
SM: Crikey! Do you see that?! Flat out like a lizard drinking! It is a little goth Joey! Lets get in close and see if we can cause a little bit of a dog's breakfast!
SM HeartBreaker silently sneaks into the room and approaches the bed of the comatose Nero.
SM: Look at this little ripper! Lying here looking as full as a goog! If we wake the little fella he is gonna be as mad as a cut snake and that is exactly what we are going to do dingo! Lets see what happens when I stick my thumb up his...
We do not know how SM HeartBreaker's sentence was going to end. We do not know how much time passed from SM HeartBreaker saying the sentence and the Doctor coming in to interrupt SM HeartBreaker. We hope to god he was interrupted! Only Nero knows and he is in a coma! Anyway, SM HeartBreaker washes his hands after the doctor is out of sight and pulls out his phone.
SM: Well that didn't wake you up. How about plan B an idea I got from a good friend of mine.
SM HeartBreaker begins to play an Evanescence song. Which one you asked? They literally had like one song. Its pretty damn obvious which song it is.
SM: I heard music helps people to wake up from comas so I have the perfect song just for you Nero. Just your style! I don't know the words because I lost my virginity before I was 25 so I need you to sing the girl parts OK?
The music begins to play as the first verse begins to kick in as SM HeartBreaker grabs the jaw of Nero as he moves it up and down to pretend he is speaking.
Puppet Nero: Wake me up! Wake me up inside.
SM: Can't wake up!
Puppet Nero: Wake me up! Save me! Call my name and save me from the dark. Wake me up.
SM: Can't wake up!
SM HeartBreaker begins corpsing as even he knows how absurd this idea is. SM HeartBreaker turns off the music as he tries to compose himself for the next bit.
SM: Well, that didn't work but I did hear that coma kids can hear everything said to them while they are under so.
SM HeartBreaker gets close to the ear of Nero.
SM: I knew you would end up here little Meow. Right where you belong.
Wow! Yes SM HeartBreaker is making a reference with that sentence! But MAWL Production team promises he didn't say the word used in the reference. SM HeartBreaker said "Bitch" instead.
SM: All this because you thought you could be the next SM HeartBreaker. A little failed SM project. You thought you would be the MAWL Franchise player. But look at you. You're hurt and you can't appear on this weeks show. But it ain't about that at all.
Nero: ....
SM: You laying here and you are supposed to be the FACE of MAWL but here I am, covering your ass because your missing tonight's show. We are talking about a show. You understand me!
Nero: ....
SM: A show. Not a PPV. Not a PPV where you go out there and get your ass whooped by the greatest of all time.
How on earth has SM HeartBreaker put on an aussie accent and a ted lasso accent all in one segment? SM HeartBreaker truly is a man of many talents.
SM: No we are talking about a show man. A show! You know you are supposed to be on every show representing the brand but instead here we are here talking about you missing a show.
Nero: ....
SM: A show! For your fans! Your adoring fans! Because I have no idea who the hell would even cheer for you.
Nero: ....
SM: We are talking about a show. I am talking about a show! And you can't appear because you are hurt. Right?
Nero: ....
SM HeartBreaker has ran out of TV and pop cultural references so he goes back to the tried and tested method that never fails. Just cutting a promo of his own.
SM: Still not awake Nero? Well, I want you to think about something. I want you to spend every single minute in this bed thinking about the damage I am going to cause as the MAWL Asylum champion while you lay here powerless.
Out of absolutely nowhere, SM HeartBreaker pulls out the MAWL Asylum Championship, a pushes into the face of an unconscious Nero.
SM: My first reign was all about making this championship the true world championship. But my second reign. Oh I have an unknown plan that I haven't shared with anyone. But I got a feeling, after our little bonding, you can keep a secret.
SM HeartBreaker was 100% referring to the karaoke sing along! Nothing else! I swear!
SM: I am going to use this championship to manipulate the entire company into doing what I want. I am going to trick people into following me. I am going to resurrect a little stable of mine of minions and call it "Deck of Hearts".
Nero: ....
SM: I am going to pretend I am the hero that MAWL needs. I am going to pretend to be the good guy that saves this company. I am going to make friends with people in the locker room as they think "Hey SM isn't that much of a bad guy, right?"
Nero: ....
SM: And I am going to use this championship to do all of it. Manipulating everyone to think every action I make is to defend this title that I elevated to the status it is. They are going to think every single bad thing I do is for the love of the game and this championship. But my secret... It is a lie.
Nero: ....
SM: This title is just a prop. It is just a bit of gold on leather. But in my hands it is a weapon of mass manipulation. I have no challengers. No Rivals. They are going to throw themselves at me unprepared and every defence I make, the more power I gain. The more I fool all of these idiots and march towards my next masterful scheme.
Nero: ....
SM: I made a list of idiots I plan on deceiving. Do you want to here it? I am talking about Gozu, Wildfire. Jassy and the other psycho muppets. Steve, Aja. That german guy and That clown and my old friend Jeannie. That meow Dante. His step sexy sister Vicky. Dr Fisty. Davey. That kid that claims to also be the world champion.
Nero: ....
SM: I am going to manipulate them all into thinking I am some fighting champion. Defender of MAWL. The Ace of MAWL. But the truth is.
SM HeartBreaker gets into the face of Nero, still shoving the MAWL Asylum Championship into his face.
SM: I am not you. Those things are for suckers like you. Needy pathetic people that just want to be loved. I am going to hold this championship and be everything you want to be. Not because I want it. But because I know it will absolutely kill you to see what you missed out on. So as long as I am holding this beautiful Asylum Championship. There is nothing you can do to stop me from having the reign that you deserved. A reign you should be having and that is the Heartbreaking truth.
And just like that. Like a fart in the wind. SM HeartBreaker is gone and we are left with a comatosed Nero.
The camera fades in on a room that looks nothing like a wrestling locker room.
Soft lighting. Marble floors. A faint mist of eucalyptus drifting from hidden vents. Attendants in sleek black uniforms move silently between plush chairs, offering towels, massages, and glasses of sparkling water.
A black bar with gold trim sits in the corner, stocked like a five‑star hotel lounge. The atmosphere is serene… but unnervingly so. Too quiet. Too perfect.
Astrid Vale stands near the bar, mic in hand, posture stiff. She’s professional, but her eyes betray the irritation of someone who used to announce main events and now has to tiptoe around spa attendants.
Across from her sit Aja Lioness and Rica Muerte.
Aja lounges like a queen on a velvet chaise, one leg crossed over the other, her presence calm but predatory. Rica sits beside her, posture straight, expression unreadable, a glass of something dark and expensive in her hand.
Both women radiate the unsettling confidence of people who know they’re in control.
ASTRID VALE(curt, but composed): “Ladies… thank you for your time. We’re here to discuss the fallout from the TLC Madness Tag Title qualifier at Fallout, where—”
Aja lifts a hand. Not aggressively. Just enough to silence her.
AJA LIONESS(smooth, low, almost soothing): “Astrid… darling… you don’t need to rush. This is a place of relaxation. Of clarity. Of… transition.”
She gestures lazily to the attendants, who continue their quiet work.
AJA: “You’re in Zora Luthor International’s private suite. Everything here is intentional. Everything here is curated. Including… us.”
Rica smiles faintly — a small, sharp thing.
ASTRID:“…Right. Well, intentional or not, the wrestling world is still talking about what happened at Fallout. Rica, you blindsided your former partner Riri Tonu with a staff shot and pinned her before the match even began. Can you explain—”
Rica interrupts with a soft laugh. It’s not loud. But it chills the room.
RICA MUERTE(calm, businesslike, but with a ghost of something darker): “Astrid… I didn’t ‘blindside’ anyone. I executed a decision.”
She sets her glass down with surgical precision.
RICA: “Danse Macabre was… sentimental. Emotional. Weak. Riri Tonu still believed in loyalty. In friendship. ”
She tilts her head, eyes narrowing just slightly.
RICA: “I believe in results.”
Aja nods approvingly.
AJA LIONESS:“Rica made the first move. I made the rest.”
She leans forward, eyes gleaming with a predatory calm.
AJA: “Danse Macabre was a brand built on chaos. But chaos without direction is just noise. I don’t tolerate noise.”
She taps her manicured nail against the glass table beside her.
AJA: “So I did what any responsible leader would do. I performed a… hostile takeover.”
A slow smile spreads across her face.
AJA: “And now? The dead weight is gone.”
ASTRID: “So this new partnership—this new team—what exactly are you calling yourselves?”
Rica and Aja exchange a look — a silent, eerie synchronization.
RICA MUERTE: “Asesinato S.A.”
She says it like a brand launch. Crisp. Confident.
AJA LIONESS(explaining, like a CEO unveiling a new division): “Asesinato… for what we do.
S.A.… for the structure. The organization. The enterprise.”
She gestures around the luxurious room.
AJA: “We are not a tag team. We are a corporation. A merger of ambition and inevitability.”
Rica lifts her glass again.
RICA: “And business… is very good.”
ASTRID: “Well, Asesinato S.A. has its first major test at the next event — a tag title match against X‑Treme Society. Victoria Scythe and Dante Rivera. A very different team from you two.”
Aja’s smile doesn’t fade — but it sharpens.
AJA LIONESS: “Victoria Scythe… the diplomat. The protector. The woman who wants to keep everyone safe.”
She chuckles softly.
AJA: “Safety is an illusion. And illusions break.”
Rica leans forward now, eyes bright with something cold.
RICA MUERTE: “And Dante Rivera… the hunter. The fighter. The man who kneels in the corner and watches his prey.”
She tilts her head.
RICA: “He should remember something important.”
Rica pauses for moment
RICA: “Predators don’t scare us. We’ve already eaten our own.”
Aja places a hand on Rica’s shoulder — not comforting, but claiming.
AJA: “X‑Treme Society fights with honor. With discipline. With heart.”
She shrugs.
AJA: “We fight with purpose. With strategy. With inevitability.”
She stands, moving toward the bar with slow, deliberate grace. She pours two glasses of champagne — one for herself, one for Rica.
AJA: “To Victoria and Dante… understand this.”
She raises her glass.
AJA: “You are stepping into the ring with a corporation. A machine. A force that does not feel fear, or guilt, or hesitation.”
Rica clinks her glass against Aja’s.
RICA:“And when the match is over…
when the lights dim…
when the crowd falls silent…”
She smiles — soft, eerie, inevitable.
RICA: “You will understand why Asesinato S.A. always closes the deal.”
ASTRID VALE(tight smile, clearly uncomfortable) “…Thank you for your time.”
Aja waves her off dismissively.
AJA: “You may go, Astrid. We have business to attend to.”
The attendants move in, adjusting robes, offering fresh drinks, as the camera slowly fades out on the two women — serene, powerful, and unmistakably dangerous.
Simon: It's going to be wild to have Aztec base roster, and from my understanding, he's getting his own Forbidden Doors Story. I can't wait to see how they pull off the more supernatural aspects and what crazy things we're gonna get from that mode.
Kendra: I gotta give big ups to the MAWLOTOV Studios team for the high-level immersive advertising, I truly thought Aztec was in the building for a moment.
Arvin: But much like Nero, no sign of life.
Simon: Oof.
Kendra: SM's really gonna get his comeuppance when Nero wakes up.
Simon: If he doesn't get it sooner.
"Thunderstruck" by AC/DC blasts through the speakers as the audience goes wild. Steve Thunder comes out slapping hands with the fans.
He steps in the ring, microphone in hand.
Steve: ROOOOOMANIA! Make some noise!
The audience obliges
Steve: Now, I haven't missed a MAWL show, whether watching in my hotel room or being here, so I think I'm speaking from an area of expertise when I say that I'm gonna be facing the best of the best. Absolute beasts in the ring. But I'm not feelin' too bad about my chances. Not because of a lack of talent, but because I know everyone in this match and only one of them has more than a rudimentary knowledge of me, and that's Boyz II Still Boyz. Physio, do you really think you have a solid chance in this match? We don't even need to open the lid much to put your skinny ass in the coffin.
Steve: Schmetterling. The early champ. I have so much respect for you. And it's out of respect that I ask... are you ring ready enough for this? You've been out of action for a minute now, and I don't think you have a recent W under your mask. I'm sure when it comes to the SM part you're more than capable of setting him on fire, but against five of us, man, you gotta work back up to that. You're not in the shape you were at Heart Condition and you got broken then.
Steve: Dante Rivera. I give you a lot of credit for busting SM's nose. It'll never not be funny. But my dude, let's be real. Victoria saved your ass in that tag match, and I don't think she'll be too thrilled if you hurt yourself and make her carry the title match again. So one of two things is likely here. One, you pull your punches and can be easily boxed. Or two, you give it your all and much like the dog who saw his reflection in the water, lose one belt trying to get two.
Steve: Jassy. You're the fill-in for Nero. Just like you were the fill-in in ZLI, and just kept the seat warm for your better sister. You need a crew cause you can't hang alone.
Steve: And Gozu. The Venom to SM's Spider-Man. The big hulking monster that has the best win record here of anyone against him. And, like Venom, dispatched by a piece of sound equipment.
The crowd gasps at this. Steve is playing with fire.
Steve: You're Top 5 scariest here and you got dommed by a subwoofer. Not really something that's going to raise the hairs on my arms. I'm not gonna say you can't hold a candle to me to any of you, because I know that's not true. If I were going in blind, I'd be scared woof less of all of you. I know my W-L record especially here doesn't inspire a ton of confidence, but I'm okay with that, because I have a whole body of work that only one of you has seen in action up close and personal, and I'm getting better every day. And I THRIVE on being underestimated. I don't need you to fear me. I don't even need you to respect me. I'll earn both of those things with a few well placed Venom Spikes. But I do think it's in your best interest to hear me. I know your playbooks. And I'm giving you all a friendly warning now to consider making some edits, or maybe making an exit, before I show you all the holes the hard way.
Voice over: Wrestling has only one HeartBreaker
"No Good" By the Prodigy begins to play as everyone in the arena tonight knows who is about to make his entrance.
Roooomania get ready to become BoooMania!
Enter SM HeartBreaker.
Already armed with a microphone and holding HIS MAWL Asylum Championship on his shoulder. SM HeartBreaker begins cutting his promo directly at Steve Thunder.
SM: Well, Well well! Look who just cut a half decent promo!
Praise MANIA is running wild! I bet that will not last long!
SM: It is a shame, you cut it here in MAWL because elsewhere that promo would be absolutely fire. But here in MAWL. It is just above average. It is just a toilet break segment on the best show in the world.
Is PraiseMania still running wild?
SM: Sure, it gets you a spot in the #1 Contendership match for MY MAWL Asylum Championship. But it doesn't cut it to earn yourself a shot at the champion himself.
SM HeartBreaker taps his championship as he makes his way into the ring and stands face to face with Steve Thunder.
SM: You see, we in MAWL. We like to start promos in style. We have something you journeymen and outsiders don't have and that is called "charisma". For instance, allow me to pop the crowd for a moment.
SM HeartBreaker breaks his champions stance to run to a nearby camera.
SM: Meow Dante Rivera!
BOOOOOOOMANIA runs wild is ROOOOOMANIA! X-Society has some shooters in the crowd as they hate SM HeartBreaker.
SM: You hear that? That is called a crowd reaction. It is what happens when a promotion sells out arenas using top tier talent. I know that isn't a concept you are used to Steve since you are normally in that other place fighting Dante's mate, DefJam in front of 60 fans, all of which brought buy one get one free tickets.
A DEFJAM Reference! I hope you see this segment buddy! Win us some titles! Love from the production team at MAWL!
SM: But tonight is your big opportunity! You have to fight some of the best wrestlers on the roster.
SM HeartBreaker pauses for dramatic effect.
SM: And Schmetterling.
BOOOOOMania at SM HeartBreaker for disrespecting an MAWL OG
SM: For a once in a life time opportunity. The biggest match of your career, A one on one match in the biggest promotion in history, MAWL. For the most prestigious and the true world championship in this business.
SM HeartBreaker taps the championship on his shoulder.
SM: MY MAWL Asylum Championship against me. SM HeartBreaker.
SM HeartBreaker stands proudly in front of Steve Thunder, with his MAWL Asylum Championship draped on his shoulder, grinning at Steve Thunder.
SM: You have that opportunity in your grasp. Within finger tip distance. But there is one issue.
Another pause by SM HeartBreaker for dramatic effect.
SM: Gozu is going to eat you a meowing live!
POPMania for the Gozu mention?
SM: Because I do not know what Physio Joker has been telling you in that other locker room. I don't know what rumours you have heard from DefJam. But face facts. This is MAWL. I run this place. I am the standard bearer of this company. We don't play games. We do not take too kindly to people like you coming here and trying to take OUR roster's opportunities.
SM HeartBreaker's hate for outsiders continue! I wonder is SM HeartBreaker appears on any other shows?
SM: So if Gozu doesn't eat you alive. It will be Zora Luthor International ace, Jassy kicking your ass. But if it isn't her. It will be the only jobber to fluke a world championship, Schmetterling pinning your shoulders to the mat and if those three don't end you it will be that mother meow Dante Meowing Rivera breaking your spine as he gets a one way ticket to getting his jaw broken by me. Because lets face it. You are in a match with the meowing best roster in the world.
SM HeartBreaker is NOT Finished!
SM: Who are hungry and dying to face the best in the business, SM HeartBreaker for the number one prize in the world. This.
SM HeartBreaker taps the MAWL Asylum Championship.
SM: The key to running this place. Sure, I understand Joker thinking he has a shot at facing me because we have literally went to war together. He understands what is at stake. But you...please.
SM HeartBreaker smiles. That disgusting stupid smile.
SM: This is the closest you will get to touching this championship.
SM HeartBreaker aura farms with the championship as he believes he is untouchable.
Steve claps for SM
Steve: Beautiful. Beautiful I was hoping that I would get to see a live performance of the worst ranked podcast in the wrestling category. I haven’t forgotten about that time, Simple Minds Heartbreaker, but I think I’m probably alone in that. Whatever happened to that? If I remember it was dismantled by a fluke. Or, it couldn’t stand up to German engineering.
A lone fan says “Oh snap”.
Steve: You talk about this title like it’s the number one prize, the thing we all aspire to, but to me the title is secondary to dumping you in that box and setting you on fire. You’re the goal here, SM. The title, I’ll defend it gamely but that’s a bonus to me. And before that further inflates your Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Float of an ego, I wanna take this moment to point out that I’ve already beat you to the top of a mountain here. I see that you’re in the W2, in the Golden Group which MAWL good on ya for giving out monetary consolation prizes. But the thing is, I already won that. You’re chasing a prize I won back in 2024 and was the first person in MAWL to beat the then undefeated Rade, back when you were off fighting in a circus or some meow. Or maybe you were in Path. They don’t talk about you much over there so I don’t know how much of an impact you left. And as much as you make it sound like you’re some standard I could never hope to meet, word in this locker room is you’ve been hunting for a match with me too. So come out here, puff out your chest all you want, but as I see it, we’re in the same burning boat and if I don’t get to you today for that “untouchable” belt that you just had to win back from Gozu, and just barely at that… then don’t go thinking the water is safe for you pal. Cause my time at Path is almost over and then you’ll be seeing a LOT of me. Lest you decide to cower off to some D-level fed and hide.
Here at MAWL we actually do support all Feds and are cheering you guys on!
Steve thinks for a second, almost as if an answer comes to him
Steve: D-level… oh! That’s what happened to your pod. Now I remember. Marvin Patel was supposed to fund that back up. Or give you a talk show. Or something. But then Leila gave him a farm league and he forgot all about you. Your first ally in this company probably doesn’t even remember he even reached out to you. Just like Path has to flip to the appendix to remember you’re in their history books.
That same “oh snap” guy is at it again!
Steve: And sure the 6 of us all wanna throw hands with you now, but if Dante doesn’t win to face you he still has a tag title to defend so this will be in his rear view. Gozu will just rampage another part of this company. Physio Joker is still in between two worlds and I don’t even know how aware he is of either of them. Schmetterling, if he’s smart, will move to the German Announcers Desk and have other things to worry about. Jassy, this isn’t even her fight and you’re just a tool for her to one up Nero. I’m the lone idiot in this match who will still give a meow about you and that’s only until I get my hands on you. And that’s today, or tomorrow, or in the Finals of the W2… Oh yeah, I’m gonna take this time to announce that I am declaring for the W2!
The crowd goes WILD
Steve: Did I do that right, Sensei Meow? They didn’t give me the same reaction they gave you so I must be doing something wrong. I guess I’m still new to this shrug but the point is, Small Man, at the end of this all “The Face” will just be a footnote here as you were in all the other history books-
The oh snap guy yells “All Alone!”
Steve: Huh. I think this might be the most you’ve heard your son talk in some time. So as I was saying, Sperm Machine, enjoy being a small part of history when any one of us takes that title from you AGAIN and then enjoy watching all alone and forgotten as I make history as the first ever 2 time W2 winner!
”Start the shooting” By A day to remember blasts off the PA, as all the Xtreme Society fans get to their feet and cross their arms above their heads. Dante Rivera makes his way onto the stage, His Madness Tag belt wrapped around his waist. He pauses to stare down SM before crossing his arms above his head. As he drops them down the arena screams in unison “XTREEEEEEEME!!!”
Now that’s what I call a POP. Dante raises the mic up to his lips as his gaze switches between Steve and SM
Dante: You know, I really love this place. This place where chaos is law and violence is the universal language. These fans that show up week after week and motivate us to throw our lives on the line in these life shortening and PTSD inducing matches. It’s all I’ve ever asked for. And yet we got Captain Capitalism over herePoints at SM* Overselling his shoddy product and inflated ego to a tired and starving audience, and Professor Dumbass over here Points at Steve giving us history lessons about when you still meant something to the world.
Oh snap guy gets drowned out by the sea of “OOOOOOOOOOOOH”’s that rain down from the stands.
Dante: Y’all talk to much is my point. I do these promos because im contractually obligated, ya feel? I ain’t out here to relive past glories or try to raise my stock with the fans. I don’t need to. All i need to do is wait for that bell to ring and sleep any and every mother F#$%@er standing until I get my shot at you SM. And I’m not doing it for the belt. No No, the belt would just be a bonus. I just want to do the world a favor and give you a broken jaw to go with that shattered nose. Smack you in the face with some humility and rip everything you hold dear away from you until you have nothing left.
Dante takes a step towards SM
Dante: And I’m not even doing it because I hate you. It’s really because I respect you. I want to prove that I’m the better fighter, but a win over this weak, tired, desperate version of you means nothing more than another hunk of metal to put on my mantle. But once I rip it out of your hands and cast you back down the lonely pit of obscurity. Just maybe, the REAL SM will come out to play. If not you’ll just end up being another Sting Ray Steve Thunder.
Dante shrugs as the crowd goes crazy. He came oddly prepared ready to spit venom for someone who just wants to fight 24/7
Steve smiles and nods, gives a small golf clap
Steve: I’m glad they were able to pry you out of the windshield of the tanker in time for you to show up. You’re probably gonna hate to hear this but you and I are more alike than you think. We both do crazy shit for an even crazier audience, and we’re both stupid enough to have put our trust in the Scythe family. At least you got the most talented one, so I give you that much credit.
Do you know why I talk about history, Dante? Because the old adage those who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. And there’s some part of me that hopes you’ll learn from the lessons I give and make better choices than I did. Buuuut, seeing as that’s obviously not the case, let’s change the class subject here to math.
You are fighting two… possibly three but somewhat unlikely and we’ll get to that in a second… matches tonight, all of which are absolute body destroyers. The first one is against five other people, all of whom are decorated in singles competition. Two of them are W2 winners. One of them is banned in multiple states for throwing men three times your size through various works of art and is I believe the only one of us to have fought in this match type before. One of them, as much shit as I give him, is a multi time champion in several federations. And the other one…
Steve pauses for a bit, counting on his fingers.
Steve: Okay, four of whom are decorated singles competitors and one other who, like you, needs a teammate watching her back to get the job done. So that’s four and a half… you have little under 20 percent chance to make it out of that match with your whole being intact, let alone win. Then, you account for your partner and the fact that the two of you needed outside interference to win those belts last time, and now you’re going through a whole-ass TLC match, after being thrown on top of a bunch of wood… What I’m trying to say, Dante… and however you feel about me, that’s fine…
Cause I say this with nothing but love and respect… now you add metal to the equation, add that a whole bunch of people from the past are trying to recruit your partner away from you, mimics a hand calculator account for variables and material cost, carry the one… if you make it out of your second match not on a stretcher I’ll have SM eat my hat. You won’t mind, will you, Salted Meat? Don’t answer that. So even if by some wild improbable stretch you manage to win this match, I wouldn’t count on you being able to be in shape enough to get to SM. So if I were you, I’d roll myself into one of the caskets, close the lid, and conserve the energy to prove to my tag partner that I’m too good to betray.
Dante: I’m sure you would roll yourself into a casket and take he easy way out if you were me. But you aren’t anything like me really. Just a cheap blueprint I didn’t need and an unfortunate coincidence that we even appear similar. See you’re Hydrox and I’m Oreo. You probably came out first but nobody really remembers or cares cause I’m Milk’s favorite cookie
Dante turns and winks at the camera before facing Steve again.
Dante: Having a belt is nice, and I’m grateful im on a team that I can trust and have earned the trust of my allies. Hell if im being honest, having faith in the Donner clan is much more perilous than aligning with the Scythe’s. You and your sneaky little cousin both turned on em when they needed back up. Or is that the side of history you’d rather not face?
Well Jared aside, he might have a point there.
Dante: Truth is, If I lose this belt because this company NEEDS me in multiple matches and match types. Well that says a hell of a lot more about the people I share a roster with than it does me. This match is interesting because there’s that chance that Dante Rivera just might be the man to face down a challenge like this and come out the other side as a double champ, with this chump on dream street re-evaluating his career and life choices. It’s because I’m the hottest talent on the market with the best damn manager on the planet that ALSO kicks ass. And I stand here facing some of the best that this company has to offer without a flinch. You know why? Cause this is what I do. I’m a warrior. You either got that in you or you don’t. Running back to MAWL aint changing that fact while im here.
Steve: See, this is why proper history education is so important. When exactly did Def Jam “need” backup? When he came here and latched himself to my match and then planned it without me and told me that I wasn’t needed? And, by the way, I still fed him that pin on… Heartbreaker actually, come to think of it. While he and his cousin were questioning my loyalty I actually tried to turn the match in his favor. If the team couldn’t get it together after that, that’s on them. I was eliminated thanks to Daria. So you’re not wrong about my cousin. Or maybe you’re talking about the House of X-Treme Match that Def won for the belt that he still has. If Def WANTS my help I’ll give it to him no questions asked. His scumbag brother can get meowed, but Def has my help if he trusts me enough to give it to him as an equal.
But you know what? That’s totally cool. That’s the past. Let’s deal with the here and now. Def may not see me as an equal, but I would say the same of you and Vicki. “Manager?” Didn’t she have a hand in or get every pin in your match? I think we’re looking at the wrong person as the sidekick here. Maybe it should be her here in this match, with you holding her bag. Is that why you stopped dating? You couldn’t handle her being better than you?
And the crazy thing is, in spite of ALL of this, I think you and I see the writing on the wall with this XHW insanity, and if you need I’ll have your back in that fight too.
Dante: Victoria WANTS to be known as a manager but she is still my tag partner and a bonafide superstar in her own right. She’d rather be out here doing this pandering BS. Talking to you, hyping the fights, blah blah blah. I just want to fight. And that mentality cost me in that relationship already, so perhaps you’re right. I’m not good enough for her. But she sticks around anyway and that’s what loyalty looks like. Right or wrong we will always ride for each other.
Some fans cheer, others “awww”, but oh snap guy manages to stand out and strike again
Dante: And i know you’re cool with DJ and it seems like he’s cool with you too. I want to be able to rely on you for whatever the hell is going on with these XHW goons, I really do. But I’ll see how I feel after this match cause DJ did give me a few bits of advice about you. I won’t bore you with all the details but the important one is that the only way to TRULY understand you is to go to war with you. So take all these lessons, and warnings, and concerns for my health and put that energy into this match. Show me why DJ respects you and why I should reach out to you when the numbers game eventually goes against me. And if by some miracle of Christ himself you manage to best me, Gozu, Jassy, Joker, etc. You better promise me you’ll break this clown and rip that belt outta his hands, ya feel?”
SCHMETTERLING!!! is heard through the speakers and the crowd gets rowdy.
“Mein Herz Brennt” by Rammstein plays over the speaker as Schmetterling comes out.
Schmetterling: Ja, I like you Herr Rivera also prefer to fight than speak. However I must in this case step outside my comfort zone. Heartbreaker thinks me a fluke when I have beat him more than once. Steve thinks me past my prime when I have won his biggest event more recent than him. And now you see me as Etc. But listen to the most important people in here, this crowd.
They still scream for me. They still seek the fire. And it is ja now on me to prove to you all why I am not to be easily shuffled aside.
I know that all of you can break SM Heartbreaker. This is not ein high bar to clear, nein. Let us not talk about this as some great feat. I bring three people from crowd, any of them could likely beat SM.
That guy is still a champ, Schmetterling…
Schmetterling: How many of you have truly walked through fire? How many of you have come face to face with what it is to be truly burned and to rise from that? I fear you may not be prepared for what is to come your way. But in that fear comes resolve. I will box you all not for spite or resentment but for protection. Protection from the vast fires of hell. I will save you now to prevent your doom later. Let the professionals holds up his flamethrower handle the fire.
Schmetterling shoots the fire into the air, the crowd goes insane in joy.
Dante: What do you know, another fraud pretending he’s about that action while he immediately and deliberately panders to the crowd. Look if I wasn’t there, then I don’t care. I don’t care about what you’ve won, what you’ve done, or even who you are. All I care about is walking out here and doing damage. You come out with a cheap accent and a flamethrower and expect me to be excited. Newsflash the crowd might like you but that doesn’t mean that anyone respects you. And if you want mine, you’ll show me you deserve it when the bell rings. otherwise I hope that flamethrower keeps you warm in that casket, ya feel?
Schmetterling: Cheap accent? Liebchen, I am from Germany. English is my second language.
I need not to do this pretending. You are a confusing man. You say you care not what I have won or done then make the presumption on my skills. Nein… not confusing… selbstverschuldete Unwissenheit… how you say “Willful Ignorance”. “Was ich nicht weiß, macht mich nicht heiß." Well, ignorance will not protect you from the heat. And I expect not for you to be excited but for you to be forewarned. You may feel the burns on your skin well before you ever think of getting to Herr Herzbrecher.
SM HeartBreaker holds the MAWL Asylum Championship to his ear.
SM: What is that? The weird looking guy says he can beat me? Uh oh. Yep. The German guy thinks he belongs in this match like I haven't ran him off TV since I debuted here? What's that? These guys are talking about me like I am not even here.
SM HeartBreaker stops talking to his MAWL Asylum Championship.
SM: You see guys. You all talk about ripping this belt from my hands, beating me. You all talk about being better than me. But here is the truth. Here are the facts. I also talk alot. But there are two difference between me and you three.
SM HeartBreaker holds up the MAWL Asylum Championship.
SM: I have this. Something you three have never held and will not hold. Because I run this crazy and chaotic place. \
SM HeartBreaker holds two fingers up in the air before turning them around at Dante Rivera because SM HeartBreaker can not miss an opportunity to show his hatred towards Dante Rivera!
SM: And two. When I talk. I back it up. I said i would beat the 3 best wrestlers on this roster and I did. One is in a coma, one is never getting a shot at my title again and the other... well. We will see how he recovers from losing this beautiful, prestigious belt.
SM HeartBreaker puts his hand down as he addresses the three in the ring.
SM: So while you guys argue who is the better man and who is going to win. I want you to remember. Who you are fighting for the opportunity to face. Who's belt you are going all out for? Because I will be honest and I already know Schmetterling is planning on doing this. It might be wise of you guys to maybe throw this match. Let someone else win. Because I don't think anyone in this entire match is ready to face SM HeartBreaker for the top prize in wrestling.
Dante’s smile widens from ear to ear as he holds those fingers up.
Dante: AHHH the man of the hour finally speaks in my presence. Oh how delightful, and here I thought id be wasting my time speaking to the appetizers all promo. If i gotta do this crap, at the very least I gotta exchange words with the champ, and what a sorry state we find our great and illustrious Asylum champion. Asking his challengers to lie down and surrender. I’m just glad you finally piped up, cause I can see through all the flaunts and brags. You’re a scarred and scared little man, I can hear it in your voice and see it in your eyes.
Dante takes a step towards him, SM not flinching. They stare each other down, tension growing between them.
Dante: You claim to have bested the top three that MAWL has to offer and yet you haven’t stood across from me one on one yet. I used to just think you were desperate to hold on to that strap but standing here now makes it all perfectly clear. You’re afraid of what happens when I catch you alone. When the bell rings and there’s no one around to protect you. Not to break up a locker room brawl or to interfere and get in my way.
Dante’s tone shifts as he crosses his arms.
Dante: But please, don’t mistake this as malicious. I’d hate for you to think I’d waste the energy hating you. Your twisted ego would find a way to rationalize this as some form of jealousy or something but the truth is? The hard, honest truth. You, as you are right now, do not impress me. Which sucks because you were quite oversold to me.
He turns his back to SM, as he paces along the connection between the stage and the ramp.
Dante: See when I found out we were shipped to the wrong fed. I raised hell. Colin tried to satiate me, Victoria tried to calm me down. But I was pissed that I couldn’t back up my brothers in P2G. “Not to worry” They said. “We got this guy here that will be perfect against you.” They told me there’s this guy SM Heartbreaker who was one of the best in the business and loves to go to war day in and day out. He shatters egos before he shatters spines and is one of the most dedicated and decorated on the roster. So how excited was I when I get into it with you in the locker room and land the first lethal blow. Shattering your nose and your pride in one flying knee,
Dante turns back to him pointing at him.
Dante: Did I do more psychological damage than I intended? Two seconds into hearing you talk and of course I would’ve shattered your face but that spark just aint there. A shell of a man that once could’ve had the world is all that stands before me. Putting gold on your waist and calling you a champ is akin to putting make-up on a pig and calling it a model. You’re no champion and I’m going to prove it. First, I’m going to best the man that haunts your nightmares in Gozu, then I’m going to defend my belt alongside Victoria and remind the world that we’re the best Tag team in the Galaxy let alone MAWL. Then I’m going to walk in to our match, battered and bruised, nowhere near 100%, and I’m gonna smack that smug look off your face and show the world that you’re a FRAUD. I need the REAL you to crawl out through all the ego and pride and excuses and face me. Till then, beating you is purely for the love of the game, ya feel? Nothing more, nothing less.
The lighting in the arena flickers rapidly.
Mushroomhead - We Are the Truth begins to blast through the venue speakers. As the lights go out red spotlights start tracking across the arena. Voluminous fog begins to pour out of the ring posts and from under the ring as the music builds. The spotlights sweep across the crowd, occasionally stopping on cloaked figures who quickly duck out of sight.
Finally the lights converge on SM Heartbreaker. Gozu's manical laughter echoes through the arena as the music goes silence.
Gozu: Steve Thunder. Dante Rivera. Jessie. Physio Joker. Schmetterling. Five more victims to put down, five more caskets to fill. At this rate I should just open a business to build these caskets. Diversify things a bit. You know?
The red lights begin to sweep across the arena again, searching for the source of the voice, slowly panning through the crowd, the walkways, even the announce area.
Gozu: Steve. You think you know my playbook? You think you've got everything down to a science? If you knew half as much as SM you wouldn't be cracking puns you'd be cracking a bottle of something flammable knowing what's really coming for you in this match. You're so convinced you've got Venom coming for you, you forget about Eddie Brock.
A cloud of fog descends from the roof of the arena.
Gozu: And Dante... what's wrong with a little bit of capitalism? Just upset that the merch booths never seem to run out of the thongs with your name on them? You're only out here because why again? Oh that's right. You're paid to be. You're in it for the cash just as much as you are for the fight aren't you friend? It's fine, really. Trust me. Who doesn't like a nice bonus for some good old fashioned violence. But. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm going to put you on a shirt. Friend. Maybe you'll actually sell out a whole case for once.
Gozu: Oh, and who could forget... what's her name again? Josie?
The spotlights begin to move more slowly and start moving back towards the center of the ring at a snails pace.
Gozu: There is of course the biggest threat for me to contend with in the match to consider as well. I know you better than you think Joker. How are the Four Kings doing these days? A little bit more Unstable than you'd like I'm sure. But no sense dwelling on the past. You're in my way, and just like before you'll be moved out of it.
The spotlights begin to angle upwards, illuminating the ceiling as the go.
Gozu: As for you Schmetterling. Wenigstens hast du es versucht. Till Lindemann called, he wants his codpiece back.\
Finally the spot lights center at the top of the arena.
Perched in the rafters stands Gozu, looking down on the ring and engaging in some Aura Farming of his own. Gozu suddenly tilts forward and drops off the rafter and plummets head first towards the ring a bungee cord attached to his back. The spotlights track his fall struggling to keep up. In the last few seconds he rights himself and super hero lands in the middle of the ring as the bungee cord slows his descent.
Gozu stands and looks directly at SM Heartbreaker.
Gozu: Keep that title warm for me, I'll be back for it after the funerals.
Steve: You’re smaller in person.
Steve Thunder has a death wish. Do not try this at home
Steve: You know, you were scarier when you didn’t speak and you just hulked around in the background wrecking things. But you’re just a one man KISS, a Gwar, a businessman in sick gear. Now don’t get me wrong, you’ve done some sick meow here and I’ve been impressed watching you on my TV, big fan of your work throwing people off landmarks-
Steve reveals under his light up trench coat a “Gozu GoezTu” shirt
Steve: I guess I thought I’d be more starstruck than I am. That’s not your fault, you can’t control how much the mythos separates from the man.
The crowd chants “Gozu’s gonna kill you”
Steve: And you’re still impressive. Definitely eating your prayers and saying your vitamins or whatever. Here’s the thing though, everyone sold you as this Great White but you read to me more as a Whale Shark. Still large and intimidating but a big softie under all that.
Do not taunt the Gozu
Steve: One thing I can tell that you’re NOT though is apprised of comics. Because everyone forgets Eddie Brock. That’s kinda the whole point. And in making that comparison you’re proving my point
Gozu continues to stare down SM Heartbreaker as he addresses Steve.
Gozu: It's a very particular set of skills isn't it? But Steve, you must be more of an Angelo Fortunato fan. It's a very exclusive fandom. All twelve of you could have quite the convention. It's ok. No one here will judge you for it.
Every single person who actually knows who Angelo Fortunato is is actively judging Steve. Harshly. All twelve of them.
Gozu: It is a shame though. That you think I've ever cared if people are starstruck or afraid. I don't, not really. Action speak louder than words, and new myths are born every day. But, you'll learn that in due time. See, Steve. I could go on and on about putting a meat hook in you, or lighting you on fire, or putting a [MAWL's Censorship Commity would like to sincerely apologize to the intern that is being required to hear this to know to censor it. His therapy bills will be paid in full by MAWL in compensation.] And then turning that sideways and [The statements made by Gozu do not represent the stances or morals of MAWL or any MAWL affiliated entities.]
Gozu: Frankly. Steve. If you want to stand in my way, I'll just have to correct that ill behavior. And we wouldn't want that. Now would we?
Steve nods approvingly
Steve: Okay, I stand corrected on the comics thing. Respect. And everyone knows that Angelo Fortunato is the second worst thing to happen to that poor symbiote, only losing to Topher Grace.
One Topher Grace as Venom fan rips up his Thunder sign
Steve: Look, I’m sure MAWL has a special match where the win condition is exactly what you just described in tetrachromatic detail there. And to reiterate I’m not expecting any of you to care what I’m saying, or respect what I have to say, cause we all gotta back up our bluster in this here ring. And don’t worry about me being in your way, cause you’ll be looking up at me as I roll you into your wooden bed. And that goes for the rest of y’all too. Welcome to the ocean, hope it’s not too deep for you.
Steve starts to leave
SM: Where the hell do you think you are going, Steve?
SM HeartBreaker pipes up from the background as he sees Steve Thunder leaving.
SM: Where the hell do you think you are? You think you can have a promo battle then leave? This isn't the indies. This isn't that other place. This is MAWL! You stand and talk and we wait till that camera over there goes off and we fade to black before we leave this ring.
MAWL Production: We apologise for SM HeartBreaker breaking the illusion of television.
SM: Gozu, Hi. Great to see you. I thought you wouldn't be here. Don't worry. The belt is safe hands. But as you can see we have alot of sharks at the ringside so our rematch can go on hold. You might want a piece of SM HeartBreaker but as you can see, there is a queue. There is always a queue. So let me catch up with a few things.
SM HeartBreaker clicks his fingers at Gozu.
SM: The chicks name is called Jazz. Like the transformer.
SM HeartBreaker clicks his fingers at Steve
SM: That other place remembers me so much, they are pretty much begging for me to make an appearance. Why the hell do you think Joker is here? Why you are here? Because they want their SM HeartBreaker back.
SM HeartBreaker clicks his fingers at Schmetterling.
SM: No speaking French on an English TV show. I don't understand, these romanians don't understand you. This is why you are no longer the poster boy of this company.
SM HeartBreaker eyes lock on Dante Rivera. Rumbles of a pop from the crowd. SM: Then there is you. SM HeartBreaker steps forward into the face of Dante Rivera. Despite all the rivals in the ring right now, Dante Rivera is the one SM HeartBreaker ones to speak to.
SM: I am going to pretend for a moment you didn't dismiss me. I am going to pretend it is just nerves that you are unimpressed by me. I am going to pretend that despite all of your little "truths" you just dished out on me. You just don't realise it yet.
SM HeartBreaker switches shoulders with the MAWL Asylum Championship.
SM: Your role here. I don't think you understand what it is. You see, Steve is the outsider. Joker is here because we have history. Gozu is the former champion that has actually managed to beat me. Jazzy is here because she is the companies new popular merchandise seller. Schmetterling is here because good god, we need another Schmetterling career revival push. But you. Do you know why you are here?
SM HeartBreaker leans into the face of Dante Rivera, only the microphone to separate them.
SM: Because I meowing hate you, Dante Rivera.
Small pop from the crowd as things are about to get heated up.
SM: I am sure you have seen the clips and the merchandise. But I want to say this to you directly. Man to man. Eye to eye. Champion to contender.
SM HeartBreaker is going to say it. R.I.P his jaw.
SM: Meow you, Dante Rivera. Meow You. Meow Your stable. Meow Your friends. Meow Your family. meow your mother for not getting rid of you. Meow You.
SM HeartBreaker steps back before he loses his face.
SM: Do not get me wrong. There is alot of rumours on why I hate your guts. Some people say its because I am jealous of you and your stable. It ain't that. Some people say its because you are legit. A legitimate Badass and our styles clash. It ain't that. Some people say it is because you broke my nose. It is a little bit that but the real reason is this.
SM HeartBreaker bravely steps forward again.
SM: I think you are a meow tag team wrestler who is trying to break out into my domain. I think you are punching above your weight class and trying to play with the big boys. I hate you because you are a below average tag team wrestler who has some how got the attention of this roster. Attention that is undeserved. Attention that you could actually beat me. People believe you can beat me and I meowing hate you for making them believe.
SM HeartBreaker smiles as he is getting personal.
SM: This isn't a story either. I am being real. You could call this a shoot. But I hate you on a personal level. I don't want you to win this match because I don't want to give you an excuse of being tired when we do fight one on one. But deep down, I hate you so much that I never want our fight to be a one on one. Because as someone mislead you. I love to go to war. But it is total war.
SM HeartBreaker does a shooting motion.
SM: You disrespect me in front of MY MAWL Asylum Championship?! It is war. Anything your friends, stable or even your little crush does from now on, will have an SM HeartBreaker size threat to them. Tag, Trios, in-fed, outside this fed. It will 100% be on sight between us. All because I do not like you and I do it for the love of the hate.
SM HeartBreaker touches his previously broken nose before smiling.
SM: Ya feel? Nothing more, nothing less.
Dante smirks as SM still massages that slightly crooked, formerly shattered nose
Dante: Now that’s more like it. Get emotional, get personal. Do whatever you need to do to convince yourself that your fantasies are reality. Allow yourself to believe that I’m just a tag fighter just because my manager wanted to get back in the ring. Convince yourself that this is your domain when the biggest threat I can see on this stage is more worried about thongs with my name on it. Tell yourself that you hate me, for any and every reason you can come up with. I know the truth and so do you. You can’t beat me. Not at 100%, 80%, 20%, it DOES NOT MATTER. You don’t want me to win this because that’s when the world will see the carefully constructed image of SM Heartbreaker shatter in real time. You want to talk about roles, that’s fine. I can tell you exactly what my role is. My role is to to be a legitimate threat that goes head to head with the real life blood of this company…. And then Schmetterling, the comedic relief I guess. YOU are the carrot on the stick being dangled because everyone knows, the winner of this match is going to be champion. The loud mouth placeholder keeping the seat warm for a real Champion.
Dante leans his arm across his Tag belt
Dante: If you want a War with us that’s no problem. I don’t ride with anyone that doesn’t know the consequences of running with the best of the best. You think I’m worried about an SM level threat when I’ve got this Jester psychopath stalking me around every corner? It can be on sight 100%, we can go right here right now for all I care. I live for the battlefield, warmed only by splattered blood and adrenaline. But like I said, this weak minded version of you isn’t worth going to war with. Even if you found that sliver of a chance to find a way to beat me after two grueling matches, it would mean and do nothing except maybe add another thin layer of scotch tape over the leaking holes of your inflated ego. Like a Viking dying in his sleep, barred from Valhalla I would stare up at the lights feeling as though I wasted all that exerted energy just to watch you get pieced up by cans again next week.
Dante then gets inches away from SM, putting a finger gun to his own head
Dante: So if you’re gonna shoot, then shoot. If you want to show up to every match, event, PR event, lunch break, WHATEVER, and interfere be my guest. I’ll even start sending personal Invitations. Because despite how you feel I don’t hate you. You aren’t worth the effort on my Limbic System to hate. I’m not even mad bro, I’m just….Disappointed.
Dante shakes his head as he lowers his finger pistol and sighing. I don’t know what would piss him off more, the disappointment or the disinterest in his threats! SM isn’t the kind of guy you can disregard and get away with it, Dante needs to be careful here.
Schmetterling: You say you hate Herr Rivera because these people believe he can beat you. Know you, Herr Heartbreaker, why these people believe Dante can beat you? No offense, Herr Rivera, but it is nothing to do with you specifically. The people want to believe that SOMEONE can beat SM Heartbreaker because they want to believe justice can win. It can be me. It can be Herr Rivera, Herr Thunder, Herr Gozu, even Herr Joker. This little Mädchen in the front- what is your name, young girl?
Young girl: Addison.
Schmetterling: Even Addison. When I was little junge we used to have this story, Max und Moritz. They were these two little troublemakers who always were causing the problems, hanging their neighbors’ chickens on their clothesline and destroying all their beliebte things. And what ultimately happened in the original story is that these two fell into a combine and were made into birdseed.
The point of the story, Herr Heartbreaker, is these people just want to see you lose. They do not care, which of us does it. If you are to hate someone for this belief, you will need to hate every single person here, because any one of us will be cheered for over you.
SM: All this talk of being able to beat me? How about we have a contest, right here, right now.
POPMania! The Champion! He is about to defend his title against everyone in the ring.
SM: Who ever can hold THEIR championship in the air the highest, is the winner. Lets see who can beat me.
A cocky and smug looking SM HeartBreaker holds up HIS MAWL Asylum Championship, thinking he is the only person with a championship. Dante Rivera suddenly holds up his MAWL Tag Team Championship belt, which enrages SM HeartBreaker, who immediately jumps onto a nearby turnbuckle and raise his MAWL Asylum Championship as he has the high ground but suddenly he feels a tug at one end of the strap. It is Gozu. The big man has a hold of HIS MAWL Asylum Championship so SM HeartBreaker can't raise it up as high as he wishes. Steve Thunder steps forward towards Dante Rivera before he climbs the turnbuckle.
Steve: That doesn't technically count since it is not a singles belt, two people technically own...
Before Steve Thunder can finish the sentence Schmetterling tries to run at SM HeartBreaker but slips and knocks Steve into Dante Rivera who accidentally smashes the MAWL Tag Team Championship into Steve Thunder's face. It is absolute chaos! SM HeartBreaker jumps off the turnbuckle and starts punching Schmetterling. Dante and a recovered Steve Thunder start throwing hands as Steve thinks Dante did that on purpose. It is absolute chaos!
Gozu sees the MAWL Asylum Championship laying on the mat and picks it up. SM HeartBreaker sees Gozu holding his belt and immediately stops what he is doing and demands Gozu hands it him back. Gozu does not. SM HeartBreaker stares down the giant because he knows he won't be able to take it back with force.
Suddenly, SM HeartBreaker turns around and is hit in the nose with a flying knee from Dante Rivera! The crowd pop! SM HeartBreaker is busted open! As Dante, Schmetterling and Steve Thunder look at Gozu holding the belt they all want. Gozu looks at each of them before laying the championship back down on the fallen champion, who is still down holding his nose, cursing Dante Rivera. Gozu looks at Steve, Dante and Schmetterling as the four stare eachother down as they get ready for war!
The caskets roll out for the match.... out pop Jassy and Physio Joker, looking to get the jump and throwing fists, causing the war to go nuts again!
The bell rings for...
Kendra: The fists are flying, the feet are flying, every limb is going every which way and it's good that they wear such different outfits because otherwise it would be impossible to tell people apart.
Simon: The herd starting to thin a bit, as Gozu launches Dante into Steve and sends them both tumbling backwards! Jassy has Schmetterling in a headlock and giving those brutal chest chops, Physio loads himself back and a boot to Schmetterling.
Arvin: Jassy thanks him with a leg-trapped exploder suplex! And Schmetterling takes her down with a bulldog.
Kendra: Gozu catches him right out with a Spinebuster. You can never slow down or even take a breath as long as you've got 5 people coming for you. Thunder leaps over Schmetterling and front dropkick to Gozu, he gets pushed back a bit and Physio leapfrogs Thunder to hit Gozu with a dropkick!
Arvin: Jassy steps on Schmetterling's stomach and leaping knee to Gozu! Everyone getting their hits in, Dante leaps them all with a spinkick to Gozu! Come on, it can't be that hard to take this doofus down!
Simon: Kendra, duck.
Gozu launches Dante at Arvin!!
Dante rolls to his feet, grabs Arvin and launches him right back at Gozu!!
Simon: It looks like we're going to get a new third and everyone in the ring is taking their time stomping out Arvin! It seems unnecessary, but cathartic I imagine.
Kendra: A brief interlude where they all work together, but we're back to brawling all together. Schmetterling springboards off the rope and tornado DDT to Dante, back around the ropes and Tiger Feint Kick to Gozu, springboard and Gozu catches him into a shoulderbreaker! Jassy flips Thunder with a huge forearm shot, throwing Thunder into the corner, up she goes in an Undertaker Old School and BITCHSLAPS Thunder!
Simon: Physio pulls Jassy into a ripcord lariat! But he turns around and Schmetterling barrels him down with a headbutt! Thunder kips up and Poison Rana to Schmetterling, Schmetterling flipped back but able to hit Gozu with a Pele kick and Dante goes low at the same time to a sweep kick! Gozu effectively taken off his feet! Finally!
Kendra: Dante opens a lid, Schmetterling and Physio trying to push Gozu into a casket! Dante trying to pull Gozu down, Gozu elbows Dante into the coffin...Dante refusing to fall in entirely, rising back to his feet like a vampire and pulling Gozu backwards but Gozu butt bumps him! Dante is the first to get put in a box!!!
Simon: Gozu attempting to push the lid down, Dante holding him off, battle of strength, Thunder and Physio from behind with a double dropkick launches Gozu over the rope and Dante's lid is closed NO HIS HAND IS OUTSIDE THE BOX AND KEEPS THE LID FROM CLOSING ENTIRELY!
Kendra: And that's gonna be a problem for his wrist but he keeps himself alive. Jassy back up on the turnbuckle, an Old School Bitchslap to Schmetterling! Schmetterling rolls back to his feet and Butterfly DDT to Jassy!! Schmetterling rolling Jassy to the edge, pushing her under the apron...she hooks her toes under the rope! To her feet, guillotine over the rope, she jumps over and Mushroom Stomp to Schmetterling's back, trampolines off his back PHYSIO CATCHES HER WITH A POWERBOMB!
Simon: Dante in the ring and he's got a steel pipe! Right to the kidney of Physio! And he wails on Jassy!
Kendra: Jassy finally grabbing the pipe and holding off the assault, kangaroo kick to the midsection of Dante pushes him down, Jassy gets Dante to his knees, blasting him with the roundhouses, Psycho Kicks on the hunt, going for that fakeout kick but Dante knows the playbook and grabs Jassy's leg, gets her leg and traps it, Thunder leapfrogs with a corkscrew dropkick to Jassy!
Simon: Unintentional teamwork is still teamwork. Gozu has Schmetterling up...Sky High Chokeslam! Physio outta nowhere with a Blockbuster on Thunder, knocking him on his head! That there is a Silent Nightmare!
Kendra: Schmetterling getting to his feet, drop toe hold gets Thunder draped over the middle, Tiger Feint Kick throws Steve back and Schmetter could be going for the whole 619 treatment GOZU BOOTS HIM BACK INTO THE CASKET DOOR AND THE LID SHUTS!! FIRST ONE DOWN!!
Gozu eliminates Schmetterling!
Vanya begins to wheel Schmetterling back.
Simon: While Vanya takes Schmetterling to the back this is basically a free-for-all, no one can be eliminated. Gozu taking the time to rampage, launching Dante, launching Steve, launching Jassy, launching Physio...just bodies flying to every which corner!
Kendra: Oh, putting four aerodynamic people in corners probably wasn't a good idea, they're all up to a turnbuckle apiece and 4-way missile dropkick causes some wooziness to abound! What in the Gulliver's Travels is this??
Simon: Thunder gives Joker a boost and moonsault! Dante gives Jassy a boost and moonsault! Thunder and Dante give each other a look... going for a run and Double Shooting Star!
Kendra: They're like OK Go and Gozu is the treadmill!
Simon: They're all taking to the turnbuckles again...Four Way Moonsault... GOZU NOPES! FOUR AIRBALLS IN ONE! Gozu scoops up Steve into that Full Nelson... DEVIL'S DESCENT! Jassy takes the opportunity to get to her feet... ONE SUPERKICK! TWO SUPERKICKS! THREE SUPERKICKS TO GOZU!! IT'S ALL CHAOS!!!
Kendra: Gozu sent over the apron, Jassy realizing that Vanya hasn't returned yet, choosing instead to thread Gozu through the middle rope, Chicken Wing DDT! PDA!! Holy hell!!
Simon: I never thought I'd see Gozu flattened like that, all respect to Jassy for pulling it off however you feel about her otherwise. Vanya starting to make her way back now, Steve Thunder eats a flapjack by Dante, but he flips back up to his feet and front dropkicks Jassy over the rope!! Physio with a double hammer to the back of Dante, Dante stumbles forward and Physio drives his head into the ground!
Kendra: Also the Superkicks are called the S3XYCUTION now.
Simon: I'm sure I don't care.
Kendra: Dante struggling back to his feet, throwing punches at Physio, throwing kicks at Physio...starting to get his fire back and laying into Physio Joker pushing him up against the ropes, Irish Whip Physio and he collides into Thunder! Thunder goes over the rope! Jassy and Thunder throwing punches at each other, getting dangerously close to a casket, Physio rebounding back and a knee to the midsection! Jumping Stunner by Dante!! AMBOY SPECIAL!!
Simon: Thunder and Jassy throwing chops back and forth, both of them losing footing, but they gotta get the lid open for it to mean-
Simon: DARIA DONNER PULLS HER COUSIN INTO THE CASKET!!! AND JASSY CLOSES THE LID!!! DARIA JUST COST HER CUZ THE MATCH!!!
Jassy eliminates Sting Ray Steve Thunder with an assist from Daria Donner!
Kendra: The lid is closed, then the lid is closed, and Vanya wheels the uncomfortably close cousins back.
Simon: And then there were four.
Kendra: Gozu donks the heads of Physio and Dante together.
Simon: He does enjoy a good donkin'.
Kendra: Jassy gets Gozu from behind with a shovel!
Simon: Jassy has been putting much of the hurt on the Patron Saint of Pain, showing his more human side, Physio and Dante to their feet and double suplex on Gozu! They're up and Dante eats shovel! Physio DUCKS shovel, brings a Blue Thunder Bomb down on Jassy!
Kendra: Whatever they do to each other isn't going to end the match until Vanya gets back! Right now, it'll take a near-death experience to take any of these four out of the match!
Simon: Physio Joker takes the climb to the top... jump n' tuck... shooting star... FALL FROM GRACE ON GOZU! I was expecting the Big Man to just absolutely dominate this match, but his competitors are getting that teamwork temporary alliance flow going and it's definitely paying dividends.
Kendra: I'm sure they're all hoping that Vanya makes it back soon. I'm not sure how much of them will be left when the dust settles.
Simon: And this is exactly what Steve was warning Dante about. He's a man of immense energy but he's still a man.
Kendra: Gozu is the first to his feet, he's taken a hellish brutalizing in this match, but he's seen worse days and gotten up just fine. Dante up and rolling out of the ring, looks like he's goin' shopping. Physio tries to get to his feet and Vanya is in the entranceway!
Simon: Each of the competitors in this match have proven championship mettle, and if I were SM I'd be meowing bricks right now.
Kendra: Really? If I were SM, I'd try to distract Vanya from coming back next time, and let them absolutely destroy each other. Physio scoops Jassy up for the double underhook, and it looks like he's going to open the Forbidden Doors JASSY BACK BODY DROPS HIM, SUPERKICK 1, SUPERKICK 2, PHYSIO DUCKS THE THIRD MID KICK TO JASSY BENDS HER OVER AND GETTING THAT DOUBLE UNDERHOOK, PULLING HER BACK ON THE SHOULDER AND FORBIDDEN DOORS PILEDRIVER!!! Physio going over to a casket and he's getting the lid open GOZU SKY HIGH CHOKESLAMS PHYSIO INTO IT AND HE'S ABOUT TO CLOSE THE...WAIT...HE GRABS JASSY!!!! SKY HIGH ON TOP OF PHYSIO!!! NOW HE SHUTS THE LID!!! A 2 FOR 1 DEAL!!!
Jassy and Physio Joker are eliminated by Gozu!
Simon: This leaves just Dante and Gozu, and that's not AT ALL good for Dante.
Kendra: Especially as Gozu is seeing there are two caskets, and only one is necessary, which means one for droppin' and one for hittin'.
Simon: Gozu sees an opportunity indeed, and he picks up the other casket by the bottom, a little Babe Ruth tap, if I were Dante I'd just stay outta the ring...
Kendra: Dante Rivera is never gonna do that, but Dante is noticing something interesting too... Schmetterling left his blowtorch!
Simon: Dante in the ring and BLASTS THE CASKET WITH THE TORCH!!!! WHAT A PLAY!!!! DANTE RUNNING THROUGH THE FIRE AND DROPKICK TO GOZU!!!
Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!!
Kendra: We just got a preview of the match against SM I think! But a Gozu on fire is just an angry Gozu, fiery headbutts to Dante! Dante staggering back, but using it to get some runway and coming back for the Spear!!! Gozu off his feet, Dante takes some burning wood and smashes it into the ribs of Gozu! Gozu kicks him up and back... shoulder tackle by Gozu! Gets him up by the back... Oh, we heard through the Grapevine that Gozu had some new moves and we're seeing something different in play here... WHEELBARROW FACEBUSTER!! HE CALLS THAT...THE PENANCE BUSTER!!!
Simon: And that'd be great, but Vanya's not back yet, so Gozu can't seal the deal! Dante is certainly looking like he's gotten into a four-car pileup on the highway, Gozu rolls him into a casket and shuts the lid, and he's sitting on it just waiting for Vanya to return! This could be the end of it!
Kendra: He...pulls out a newspaper and he's just sitting in wait! As we await the inevitability, we remind you that Dante still has to fight again tonight, X-Treme Society doesn't have anyone back there who qualifies for a Freebird.
Simon: Victoria must be a ball of nerves back there. Or maybe this sitting in the casket is giving him a chance to rest up?
Kendra: Gozu reaches out his hands to get a couple ChungAdes tossed his way... one is easily caught but the other just goes overhead! Gozu sighs and climbs off the casket to retrieve his drink, looks back and sees the lid is still nice and shut, turns again to get his drink, Vanya's on her way back and this one is as good as THERE'S MOTION IN THE LID!
Simon: Gozu may be celebrating a little too early, this one might not be over! THE LID IS UP! BUT WHERE'S DANTE! IS HE IN, IS HE OUT, WHAT IS HAPPENING.
Kendra: Vanya is in position now and Gozu goes back up to the casket to close the lid DANTE CROUCHED UP BEHIND IT AND HURACANRANAS GOZU INTO THE CASKET!!! HE CLOSES THE LID!!!! DID DANTE RIVERA JUST WIN THE WHOLE DAMN THING???
Dante Rivera eliminates Gozu to win the match!
Ash: HERE IS YOUR WINNER.... DAAAAANTE RIVEEEEERA!
Dante catches his breath. He can't believe what just happened. The win yes but how, not as much.
Kendra: He was dismissed as a tag team fighter, but now he's getting a shot at singles gold. Dante Rivera outmaneuvers The Patron Saint himself to get the opportunity to finish the job of breaking SM Heartbreaker's face.
Simon: But he's not gonna celebrate long, the chickens are coming home to roost!
Kendra: Aja and Rica descending on Dante! No rest for the wicked. The double team on a weary Dante is putting these belts in jeopardy!!!
Kendra: Victoria from the crowd with a chair!!! That means this match is officially underway!!!
Simon: Victoria blasts Aja! And she blasts Rica! Another chair shot to Aja! Powerbomb to Rica over Gozu's casket, as Vanya finally wheels that away!
Kendra: In a match like this, the timekeeper is really basically the ref if you think about it, the only way to win is to go up the ladder and unlatch the belt. And that's fairly obvious who does it, most of the time.
Simon: Rica is off Gozu's casket and runs back to the ring area, as Victoria and Dante hit a double cutter on Aja! Rica running through the ring back to the other side, Springboard Splash takes out X-Treme Society and we've got a fight on our hands! Aja to her feet and snap suplex to Victoria, as Rica hits a deadlift German on Dante. Dante rolling back to his feet, but a little punch drunk, as Rica gets him with a basement dropkick.
Kendra: Oh good, we're joined by Riri Tonu on mic.
Riri: Well jeez don't be too excited.
Kendra: Well, given your situation with Rica and Aja, how can we be sure you're not going to tilt the match?
Riri: Au contraire, that's French Kendra.
Kendra: I know.
Riri: I'm here to ensure that nothing untoward happens. These ZLI twits keep popping up where they don't belong. I don't like it.
Simon: So you're concerned that ZLI will try to steal the titles from X-Treme.
Riri: Do you blame me?
Simon: No, I suppose not.
Riri: I'm not gonna be unbiased in how I report on this, but I also won't get involved unless it's to even out numbers.
Kendra: Well, you may not be involved, but it certainly got Rica off her game enough that Dante is up and takes her out with a German Suplex toss.
Riri: She was always easily distracted even when we worked together. Can't blame me for that.
Simon: Aja unloading on Victoria with a kick combo, Victoria doing what she can to weather and block the blows, gets the leg and Powerbomb onto the ringside apron. I don't think these folks have properly entered the ring in this match, save Rica's splash.
Kendra: I suppose you may be right, and Victoria hits a moonsault off the apron to Aja to keep the action contained outside the ring. Aja grabs her by the hair and punches her off. Kick to Victoria's midsection and the two are separated... Aja Irish Whips Victoria into the steps! Aja lines up that boot and we know where this is... Dante gets her from behind with a bat!
Riri: A good teammate always has their partner's back, even if it means turning their own to their opponent for a moment. I've admired everything I've seen from Vic and Dante. Of course, cutting off the Zombie Raising is a rare and beautiful sight too, so that helps tremendously.
Simon: Victoria and Dante with a double suplex to Aja on the apron, and it looks like they're going digging for something... oh we got tables introduced now. Vic and Dante on opposite ends of the table... Dante gets Aja up AND VIC HITS A QUEEN CUTTER THROUGH THE TABLE!
Riri: Maybe instead of taking a luxurious spa day, they should have actually trained.
Kendra: I hate to admit it but you might be right. Rica catches Dante in the rib with a lead pipe! Rica helps Aja up, Aja lines up her boot again and Dante eats a Zombie Raising!! Victoria leaps that mess and catches Rica with a DDT! Victoria looking under the ring... Aja takes the pipe from Rica and whangs Victoria in the spine with it!!! Aja pulls the ladder out from under the ring, and slides it in! Now we're getting somewhere.
Riri: Ugh. I'll be pissed if they actually get the belt.
Simon: Well, Aja does have it set up and there doesn't seem to be much in the way of traffic... starting the climb... DANTE IN THE RING, DANTE SPEARS THE LADDER!!! IT LANDS RIGHT ON AJA!!!
Kendra: You can tell that rung him too though. They're both laid out. Victoria into the ring...picking up the ladder...holds it up like a Tuscan Raider and DRIVES it into the whole front of Aja Lioness! Victoria picks it up again...Wait...Rica behind her...RUNNING DROPKICK PUSHES VICTORIA INTO THE LADDER! Everyone is completely blasted!
Simon: Dante to his feet, helps Victoria up... they get the ladder up and they're ready to start the ascent! Figuring out who's going to stand guard and who's going to climb, that's smart, Dante and Victoria agreeing Victoria should climb, Victoria goes up and...
Simon: DIANA DRESDEN IS OUT HERE AND SHE'S MAKING HER WAY TO THE LADDER! I THINK SHE MIGHT BE TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR THE LOST BELTS AND DANTE PULLS HER OFF- SHE MISTS DANTE RIVERA!!! AJA AND RICA PULLED FROM THE RING AND VICTORIA GRABS THE BELTS!!!
Victoria Scythe and Dante Rivera win!
Ash: Your winners, and STILL Tag Team Champions... Dante Rivera, Victoria Scythe, X-TREME SOCIETY!!!
Kendra: But what did that even do?? That didn't stop Dante from winning at all.
Simon: I don't think this was about the tag belts, Kendra, look who's coming out here...
Simon: That.... that's the Casket for Later! They weren't here to take a tag belt, they were here to protect the leader!
SM does the Dracula rise out of the casket, and BOOOOMANIA hits a blood-curdling level!
Kendra: This match isn't scheduled until later, but I guess it's happening now!!
Simon: Not gonna be much of a match, Dante's still trying to get the Green Mist out of his eyes and Diana smashes Victoria with the Trios Belt!! Confetti and UV hold up Dante, Diana smashes him with the belt too! SM with a kick to the dick, and they roll Dante in the casket!!!
SM HAS HIS OWN PERSONALLY BRANDED BLOWTORCH!!! HE SETS THE CASKET ON FIRE!!!
SM Heartbreaker wins by flaming casket!
Ash: Here is your winner, and still Asylum Champion, SM Heartbreaker.
Simon: What was supposed to be an epic co-main event has been rendered a farce by SM and his new band of miscreants.
Kendra: This crowd certainly doesn't feel satisfied by this.
Simon: And apparently, neither is our GM.
Colin: Oh, SM, SM, SM. Ya messed around with my card to save your precious little title. AND, you messed with one of our pre-eminent superstars during their recovery. That, my good man, is a Double Whammy.
Now, I'm not gonna strip that title from you. Much as it can be contended whether you deserve it, you did fulfill the match brief. Brief being the operative word. So here's what I'm gonna do instead.
WHEN Nero wakes up, he is getting an express pass to your ass. And not in the way you did to him... I have the unfortunate job of seeing raw footage and that does not work for me. IF at that time you are still holding the title, that shot goes to him. And since I know you're building your little army here, regardless of whether you have that title or not, it'll be an Iron Man Match, and for the second time in our Fed's history, and shamefully the second time this year, it will be held in an undisclosed location where your little Candy Heart Crew won't find you. And despite what you may have said to our friend, I DO think he's Main Event Material, and so that match will be a Main Event.
Kendra: WHOA! NERO IS GETTING SM HANDED TO HIM, AND SM IS APOPLECTIC! SPEECHLESS EVEN, AND HOW OFTEN DOES THAT HAPPEN?
Colin: Now get the hell outta my ring, because I have more pressing matters to discuss. Namely, the situation regarding Flora Peligrosa and the Inferno Title. Sadly, Medics have determined that the injury she sustained is pretty severe and she will be out for some time. Which means we're going to have a second Inferno Match today. There were some individuals who did not get a chance to fight in the Crypt Match, and those not already holding titles are going to get an opportunity for the Vacant Belt in an Over-the-Top Battle Royal, which will also include the winners of the next two matches and some other faces as we see fit.
The crowd rumbles in some excitement but also some consternation.
Kendra: Well, there were a lot of people who never got tagged into that match, so that'll be interesting.
Riri gets a notification on her phone.
Riri: Apparently, I'll be in that match! I have to go get ready.
Simon: In the interim, I guess let's see who the next fight is.
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!
Crowd: ONE FALL!
The arena darkens, followed by light blue colored lights shining throught the ring, wrestler makes entrance while a spotlight shines upon him until he makes his entrance.
Ash: First! From Washington, DC, weighing in at 115 kilograms, "Max Power" Max Matthews!!!
He stops 5 meters in front the ring to squat and shout "Waaaaaa!!!" before entering the ring.
Red Ghost looks less than thrilled as he walks down the ramp with his crowbar.
Ash: And his opponent! From Boston, Massachusetts, weighing in at 97 kilograms and representing Psycho Supremacy 2.0, RED GHOST!
He whistles as he enters the ring, spinning his crowbar and eventually pointing it at Max.
The bell rings!
Kendra: Ghost went into this match feeling like he got stuck with a jobber, but now he at least sees a point of being here.
Simon: Maybe not for long though... Max charges him and Leg of Doom!! Going for a quick pin-Ghost kicks before 1. Ghost blasts him with an Enzuigiri, Max back up and a big chop to Ghost. Ghost responds with a hip toss and it's big enough to shake the ground. Locks in the Ghost Rider Crab!! And Max is gonna tap!
Red Ghost wins by Submission!
Ash: Here is your winner, Red Ghost!
Kendra: Red Ghost taking a seat by the Timekeeper while he waits for the next match to finish so he can get back in and make the best of this title shot.
Simon: So let's keep it rolling.
Ash: The following contest is a Table Match!
Violet comes out yelling at and cursing out the crowd.
Ash: First, representing E.M. Powered... from Los Angeles, California, VIOLET!
Violet rolls into the ring then points arrogantly at herself.
Kendra: This match actually came about with Violet screwing Dusty out of a briefcase in Feast or Famine, which was how she showed her allegiance to EMP.
Lightning strikes a desert plain on the screen as silhouettes of kangaroos, emus, and a howling dingo flash across. The visuals switch to Dusty walking alone through the red dust until he arrives at the ring ramp. Pyro explodes like a bushfire along the ramp sides.
Ash: AND HER OPPONENT! From The Outback, weighing in at 253 pounds, the Outback Outlaw, DUSTY MCGRAW!
Dusty comes down high fiving the audience, then throws his hat as he walks into the ring.
Simon: You have to admire that even with the anger he faces towards her, he can be cheery towards the crowd itself.
The bell rings!
Kendra: He goes for a handshake, she pokes his eyes. So that's how it's gonna be. He takes a quick spin and there's that Boomerang Discus Lariat! He steps out of the ring to get a table, that gives her enough time to get up and sliding dropkick him, table knocked out of his hand.
Simon: She comes out of the ring and just THWAKS HIM on the head with the table! It shatters over him!!!
Violet wins by Table!
Ash: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, VIOLET!
Kendra: Well that was easy enough.
Simon: And now with Violet and Red Ghost making their place in this Battle Royal, here come the other competitors!
Kendra: Damn. 48 battlers in one ring, this is just absolute chaos.
Simon: Tiki Chamorro charging Stephy Slays and a humongous dropkick for such a little body, pushes up against the rope, but doesn't go over. Cam E Leon with a spinning wheel kick cracks Hazel Clarke in the face and you can see her eyes roll back a bit, she starts to tip over but grabs Cam's leg, both of them out to the apron but both survive.
Kendra: Jen Teal eats an elbow from Hunter Kelly. Imogen trying to dump Sombras over, he maintains his footing. Randi Rah Rah with a huracanrana to Rosalina Ramos. Steve Off absolutely blasting Tiki with a series of European Uppercuts. Stephy Slays with a huge Superkick to Lottie, Lottie goes over the rope but staying on the apron, she pulls Stephy onto the apron and they're battling it out, Lottie almost off the apron and barely hanging on, they both roll in.
Simon: These WOW expats are showing resolve for sure. Randi with a chop to Super Cool, Cool blocks and throws a chop back. Hunter Kelly charging Icyy Thot, ICYY LIFTS HIM OVER AND MILITARY BRAINBUSTER OVER THE ROPES! THOT CONTROL ON LOCK! IMOGEN DOESN'T LEARN AND TRIES IT, THOT CONTROL TO IMOGEN!! HUNTER ROLLS IN, IMOGEN CAN'T HOLD ON! FIRST ONE OUT!
Imogen is eliminated by Icyy Thot! (1)
Kendra: Tiki gets her arms around the waist of Chef Nobi, release Belly to Belly, turns around and boot by Greg Arias! Kacy Kruel taking a run and a spinning neckbreaker to Mikey Spandex. Black Saber brutalizes Cam with a Double Axe Hammer to his back. Golly Gong with a stiff right punch to Manta Ray, and Oriana Burkhardt hits Chef Nobi with the same as he tries to get to his feet. Arias with a huge Uranage to Lottie. Danny Gill going for a punch to Bey Blaze, she blocks and Kesagiri Chop!
Simon: Super Cool with a package DDT to Steve Off, Hot Mess Jess waiting for her and tilt-a-whirl headscissors! Steve Thunder with a quick kick to Sarah Sharp. John Ti back body drops Tiki and she hits the apron and rolls in. Violet with a low blow kick to Arias!
Kendra: Even good dudes have bad days. InstaGator brings out her Selfie Stick and just CRACKS Cam E Leon upside the head! And Cam goes up, Insta boots him out!!
Cam E. Leon is eliminated by InstaGator! (1)
Simon: Blaze blocks a kick from Omega X and leg sweep! Her defense game is on point today! Chef Nobi gets Sombras up, Chef's Edge out of the ring!!!
Sombras is eliminated by Chef Nobi! (1)
Kendra: Arias with an elbow shot to Bowen. Black Saber with a Burning Hammer to Blaze over the ropes, Blaze barely holds onto the rope and keeps herself in. Dangerous Johnny Dagger with a single leg dropkick to Nor Phoenix Diana! Icyy with Thot Control to Randi! She barely rolls back into the ring. Lotta near-eliminations.
Simon: Sarah Sharp with an eye rake to Tiki, Stephy with a clothesline to Super Cool and out she goes!
Super Cool is eliminated by Stephy Slays! (1)
Kendra: Thot with a double clothesline to Kacy and Lottie, everyone holds on and remains. Tragedeigh looks to charge them, Icyy launches her out!!
Tragedeigh is eliminated by Icyy Thot! (2)
Simon: Dagger with a back elbow to Burkhardt. El Cerrador with a chop to Brian Storm, Storm blocks and headbutts him back. Violet with a lariat to Bowen, and Bowen grabs her as he goes over! They both go out!!
Violet (1) and Bowen Baneclaw (1) eliminate each other!
Kendra: That's unfortunate. Kruel with a throat chop to Hot Mess Jess, Barclay goes for a spin kick to El Cerrador...Cerrador catches the leg and dragon leg screw! Stephy with a dropkick to Jen Teal. Manta hits a dropsault to US Rae, Rae locks herself on the ropes and keeps herself in, Randi charges Manta and Manta hits a huracanrana on her, she hits the apron but still keeps herself in.
Simon: Pinoy Power Surge hits a corkscrew dropkick to Daria and she stumbles over the ropes! Daria Donner is outta here!
Daria Donner is eliminated by Pinoy Power Surge! (1)
Kendra: Yancy A Yardburn blasts Golly Gong with a discus lariat and sends her right outta here!!
Golden Gloves Golly Gong is eliminated by Yancy A Yardburn! (1)
Simon: Pinoy launches Tiki out with a back body drop!
Tiki Chamorro is eliminated by Pinoy Power Surge! (2)
Kendra: Arias hits a jawbreaker on Red Ghost. Blaze chops Kruel. Hunter Kelly attempts to dump Pinoy, and she holds on. Pinoy pulls herself out the rope, charges Oriana, Rosalina charges Oriana, double dropkick and over the ropes she goes!!
Oriana Burkhardt is eliminated by Pinoy Power Surge (3) and Rosalina Ramos (1)!
Simon: Pinoy continuing on the run, Bey blocks her AGAIN and catches the dropsault! Pinoy faceplanted! Dagger taking a risk going to the top-
Kendra: Danger is in his name, Simon.
Simon: Dropkick to Hazel Clarke! US RAE BLASTS DANNY GILL WITH A SHINING WIZARD!
Kendra: Arias hits an elbow shot on Steve Thunder. Brian Storm LAUNCHES Hot Mess Jess out of the ring!!
Hot Mess Jess is eliminated by Brian Storm! (1)
Simon: Technicolor Talia Convery with a running elbow to Danny Gill. John Ti with a bionic elbow shot to Kacy Kruel. Lottie with a spinning DDT to Arias. Sharp with a scoop slam to Stockett! Pinoy launches Hazel over the ropes!
Hazel Clarke is eliminated by Pinoy Power Surge! (4)
Kendra: Lottie Axo judo flips Keta Rush right out of this match!
Keta Rush is eliminated by Lottie Axo! (1)
Simon: Rose Norris-Kratz hits a spinning neckbreaker on InstaGator!
Kendra: Steve Thunder hits a quick chop on Sharp. Convery with a piledriver to Hunter. John Ti with a right hook to Pinoy. Rose jumps down with a Polish Hammer to Omega X... Omega catches her and Spinebuster!!
Simon: Thot with a high kick to the head of Brian Storm. Storm and Blaze with a double powerbomb to Dagger! Rosalina hits a running DDT on Nor Phoenix Diana. John Ti hits an arm drag on Red Ghost. Blaze with a Burning Hammer on Convery and Convery holds on to the rope, pulls herself in. Knee shot by Ti to Pinoy. Storm with a Uranage takes Jen Teal out of the equation!!
Jen Teal is eliminated by Brian Storm! (2)
Kendra: Looks like Teal might be relegated to carrying others' belts. And Black Saber spears Steve Thunder out of this match! 0 for 2 today, Stevie!
Sting Ray Steve Thunder is eliminated by Black Saber! (1)
Simon: He still leaves with a smile and it looks like he's heading over here to the desk.
Steve: Y'all needed a third. No offense.
Kendra: None taken.
Simon: And Bey Blaze is the next to get the boot, Rosalina Ramos takes her out!
Bey Blaze is eliminated by Rosalina Ramos! (2)
Kendra: Knee shot by Nor Phoenix to Omega X. Pinoy hits a huge Rocket Kick on InstaGator, she goes straight over the ropes WAIT SHE ONLY LANDED ON ONE FOOT! GATOR IS HOPPING ON ONE LEG TO THE STEPS!
Simon: Chef Nobi with a Knife's Edge and Stephy is Slayed!
Stephy Slays is eliminated by Chef Nobi! (2)
Steve: I respect the pun, Apple. Oh man, Thot's gonna ruin Ti's tie with that ripcord knee shot.
Simon: Stockett with a blasting leg lariat across the throat of Nobi. Physio with a headbutt to Saber.
Steve: I don't recommend interacting with Physio Joker's head. The tattoos should tell you he feels no pain there, that collision is a one-way wreck.
Kendra: John Ti with a twirl into a crane kick that knocks Arias over the rope!!
Good Dude Greg Arias is eliminated by John Ti! (1)
Steve: Fancy Pants!
Kendra: That is what the move is called, yep. Black Saber headbutt to Norris-Kratz. Dagger springboard tornado DDT to Randi! Norris-Kratz spins around and Roseplant to Omega X!
Steve: My boy Manta with a majestic spinning splash to Lottie, and she loses her balance! Into the drink! Ain't nature grand?
Lottie Axo is eliminated by Manta Ray! (1)
Simon: Sarah Sharp with a backbreaker to Mikey Spandex, Physio Joker just LAUNCHES US Rae over the ropes...wait, she tucked her legs! She's spinning herself like a shuffleboard puck to the steps, this is wild, but she makes it!
Kendra: Danny Gill boots John Ti over the rope, but he only loses his pocket square to the ground as he keeps himself in this match.
Simon: Acceptable loss. Hunter Kelly with a knee to the face of Omega. Norris-Kratz attempting to lift Red Ghost over, he holds on. Manta with a jumping knee to Dagger.
Steve: Insta's got that Selfie Stick back out, and she just golf swings Steve Off into oblivion and outta this match! The Steve representation has shrunk exponentially!
Steve Off is eliminated by InstaGator! (2)
Steve: Manta lighting up Yancy with some rib kicks! Yeah boy! And Storm gets a tremendous over-the-shoulder backbreaker on Spandex, a great move if you can't get to your chiropractor on time.
Kendra: You ever think about teaming with Storm?
Steve: I asked, he's a loner. I respect it, but Bri-Guy, that offer stands if you ever change your mind.
Simon: Rose with a rough knee to the gut of Omega. Nobi with a bionic elbow shot to Hunter. Randi hits a low spin kick, cutting Physio Joker down at the knees.
Steve: Yeah, Physio's legs are a much better target than his head.
Kendra: Pinoy with a chop to Kacy. Convery with an axe kick to Ramos. Spandex trying to push Hunter over, but no go.
Steve: Yeah, it was kind of a stretch.
Simon: Chef Nobi boots Kacy Kruel out of the match!!
Kacy Kruel is eliminated by Chef Nobi! (3)
Steve: Goodbye Kruel Kacy. And oof a rough chop from Sharp to Spandex. I'm kinda shocked they're both still in there.
Kendra: Ramos with a running monkey flip to El Cerrador. Convery rings Manta's bells with that low blow kick!! And a spinning headscissors by Pinoy to Rose.
Simon: Hunter with a knee smash to the face of Insta and she goes flipping back. Ghost with a brutal elbow to the face of Storm. Riri Tonu been under the radar this whole time but Cerrador isn't gonna let that stand, over the river and through the woods, out of the match she goes!
Riri Tonu is eliminated by El Cerrador! (1)
Steve: That Super Chill Danny Gill hit a cool slidin' powerslam on Nor Phoenix, daddy-o. Omega's got some moves of his own, just smashing Hunter's knee into his face.
Kendra: Chef Nobi with ANOTHER Chef's Edge sending El Cerrador packing... wait, he learned from US Rae! Tucks the legs in and trying to roll himself to safety! Convery attempting to boot Randi out but she holds on and swings back in, as Cerrador bounces himself back to the steps.
Steve: Another Fancy Pants, this time to Black Saber and Black Saber starts to tip, oh he's bringin' Ti with him... oh they both stay on the apron.
Simon: Thot Control to Danny Gill! And Danny bites... NO! HE HAS ONE LEG UP! LANDING LIKE THAT HAD TO HURT BUT IT KEEPS HIM ALIVE! Rose frustrated and takes it out on Manta with a slap. Convery with an STO to Randi. Cerrador with a cannonball senton to US Rae!!
Kendra: First he takes her saving move then he wrecks her. Ramos won't let that stand and package piledriver to Cerrador! DJD with a Spike Piledriver to Chef Nobi! He calls that the Dagger Drop!
Simon: MANTA GETS LAUNCHED BY ROSE!
Manta Ray is eliminated by Rose Norris-Kratz! (1)
Steve: DAMN!
Simon: He won't be reclaiming the Inferno Title tonight. Ghost with a punch to Convery. Yardburn gets Omega X up and suplexes him out of the ring BUT OMEGA PULLS YARDBURN BY THE SINGLET OVER THE ROPE WITH HIM!
Omega X (1) and Yancy A Yardburn (2) eliminate each other!
Kendra: Insta hits Nobi with a boot and he starts to go over the ropes, but able to pull himself back and springboard into a lariat on Dagger. Physio has Hunter locked up...oooh unloading that series of elbows to the back of his head, and this usually goes one place and one place only...
Steve: Gooooodnight Lillie Mae and Goodnight Hunter Kelly! That kick sends him to dreamland!!
Hunter Kelly is eliminated by Physio Joker! (1)
Simon: Storm cracks Cerrador's ribs with a Polish Hammer. Rae with a knee shot to Gator. Stockett attempts to eliminate Nor Phoenix with a huracanrana but she manages to roll back into the ring and attempts to remove Icyy with the same play but Icyy also remains.
Steve: Dagger on the turnbuckle.... COAST TO COAST SOMERSAULT DROPKICK! HE TOOK THE DANGER ZONE ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE RING AND BLASTED CHEF NOBI OUT OF THIS MATCH!!! WHAT PRECISION, WHAT DISTANCE, WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED??
Chef Nobi is eliminated by Dangerous Johnny Dagger! (1)
Crowd: Holy shit! Holy shit!
Kendra: Black Saber blocks Insta's Selfie-Stick, pulls her in for a one armed backbreaker! John Ti attempts to push Saber out, Saber just looks at him menacingly.
Steve: There's a fine line between bravery and stupidity, that is irrelevant here because that was all stupidity.
Simon: US Rae hits Norris-Kratz with a series of chops, Thot takes John Ti out of the equation with an arm drag!!
John Ti is eliminated by Icyy Thot! (3)
Kendra: Randi goes for a chop on Joker, Joker headbutts her. Icyy Thot getting Pinoy up for Thot Control PINOY HURACANRANAS HER OVER!!! THE ICYY REIGN IS OVER!!!
Icyy Thot is eliminated by Pinoy Power Surge! (5)
Steve: Pinoy gets her FIFTH elimination!! I don't know if this is gonna get her off the back of Colin, but she's definitely earned her keep in this match.
Simon: Storm lays a hard punch on Ghost, PINOY SENDS INSTAGATOR OUT BY HER SCHNOZZ!
InstaGator is eliminated by Pinoy Power Surge! (6)
Steve: She's unstoppable!! And US Rae attempts to boot Brian Storm over, he holds on and tries to pull her over but eye rake. That's cheap. Dagger heading to the top PINOY KNOCKS HIM OUT OF THE RING!!
Dangerous Johnny Dagger is eliminated by Pinoy Power Surge! (7)
Simon: We are down to the last third here, only 16 competitors remain. And even less!! US RAE SUPERKICK TO SARAH SHARP!! SUPERKICK TO MIKEY SPANDEX!!!
Sarah Sharp and Mikey Spandex are eliminated by US Rae! (1/2)
Kendra: Red Ghost with quick punches to Black Saber, Randi behind Red Ghost with a running bulldog! Norris-Kratz rakes the eyes of Pinoy. Ghost to his feet, elbows to the midsection of US Rae, who spins around with a backhand to Norris-Kratz.
Steve: They've got their own little fight clique going! Norris-Kratz with a jawbreaker to Pinoy. Outside the circle, Physio hits Convery with a high knee and she starts to stumble but remains in.
Kendra: Red Ghost steps outside the circle to run at Physio, THAT was a mistake! Physio back body drops Red Ghost outta here!
Red Ghost is eliminated by Physio Joker! (2)
Simon: El Cerrador, Nor Phoenix Diana, Black Saber, and Physio Joker all have the same idea at the same time! 4-way boot to Rose Norris-Kratz!
Steve: That's enough power not just to eliminate her from this match, but also the next one!
Rose Norris-Kratz is eliminated by Physio Joker (3), Black Saber (2), El Cerrador (2), and Nor Phoenix Diana (1)!
Simon: El Cerrador turns around and lifting knee to Black Saber. Ramos with a neckbreaker to Pinoy. Randi gets an elbow to Gill, who survived his ex-partner. Nor Phoenix takes a run, but eats a beautiful uppercut from US Rae but returns an even more beautiful one.
Kendra: Barclay springboards off the ropes, clothesline to Brian Storm, Brian tries to get his way up and Randi gets him with a clothesline from the other end! US Rae with a throat punch to Black Saber. Nor Phoenix with a chop to Convery. Brian looks to pay Randi back with a judo flip to the outside... Randi catches herself on her hands! There's that Cheer background working wonders for her, and she pushes back onto the apron.
Steve: Black Saber's backbreakers give full Bane energy, and Convery just got the Bruce Wayne treatment!
Simon: Damn! Randi has full cheer power goin' for her now, clears the ropes entirely with a backflip into the ring and keeps it going with a kangaroo kick to US Rae. El Cerrador gets an armbar locked in on Danny Gill, and Physio takes that opportunity to kick Gill right in the arm joint!!
Steve: That arm's gonna be chill, in part cause it's not gonna be able to do much other than chill. And here comes Pinoy, and all that Power goes to Randi's head!! Randi eats a boot and stumbles out of this match!
Randi Rah Rah is eliminated by Pinoy Power Surge! (8)
Kendra: Nor with a jumping elbow drop to Convery, bounces up and immediately takes an arm drag from Pinoy. Even with one bad arm, Gill is able to hit a knee drop on Convery.
Simon: Why would an arm affect a knee drop?
Kendra: Because shut up.
Steve: Here comes Pinoy with a jumping Snapmare to Black Saber! And she keeps it comin' with a leg lariat on Physio! Going for another knee drop on Physio but didn't quit while she was ahead, Physio moves and Pinoy airballs! Physio with a back suplex.
Kendra: Gill uses his good arm to hit a bulldog on US Rae. Spinkick by Pinoy on Brian, but he catches her out and exploder suplex! With all her dominance, people are starting to catch on.
Simon: Physio with a huge chest chop on Technicolor. Danny still favoring his arm but clothesline with his good arm to El Cerrador, but Pinoy gets his bad arm and twists... and launches him out!!
Super Chill Danny Gill is eliminated by Pinoy Power Surge! (9)
Kendra: Damn, who's gonna stop the Surge? Black Saber hits a Piledriver on Nor Phoenix Diana. Nor tries to get to her feet and Black Saber boots her right back down. Here comes Stockett and attempting to huracanrana Physio to the floor, he rolls but his feet don't hit and he rolls back to the steps. Black Saber gets Brian Storm by the throat, and just full on tosses him out of the ring!
Brian Storm is eliminated by Black Saber! (3)
Steve: Technicolor looking to add some purple to US Rae's red white and blue with a huge punch combo. And here comes Barclay with a Phoenix Splash to Phoenix, which adds irony to insult to injury.
Simon: Physio with a huge belly to belly suplex to Black Saber! And Phoenix delivers the ending blow to Saber with a dropkick!!
Black Saber is eliminated by Nor Phoenix Diana! (2)
Steve: Physio is looking to get the dropkick elimination himself on Technicolor but she holds on. So he takes a run at it instead on the other side with Rosalina and THAT'LL work!
Rosalina Ramos is eliminated by Physio Joker! (4)
Kendra: PINOY'S BEEN UNPLUGGED BY NOR PHOENIX DIANA WITH A CORKSCREW SPLASH!
Pinoy Power Surge is eliminated by Nor Phoenix Diana! (3)
Simon: El Cerrador with a running headbutt to Physio, keeps it goin' and running clothesline to Barclay as US stomps out Physio. US with a huge stomp to the throat of Physio!
Steve: I can't argue with him being less able to speak. Barclay responds to Cerrador's clothesline with a bell clap. US Rae drills Physio with a Superkick and he's going o-NO! HE GRABS US RAE BY HER HAIR AND GETS HER OVER INSTEAD!!
US Rae is eliminated by Physio Joker! (5)
Kendra: We are down to our final 5! One of these 5 will be leaving Romania the Inferno Champion! Technicolor with a forearm shot to Barclay, Nor tosses El Cerrador out of the ring!!
El Cerrador is eliminated by Nor Phoenix Diana! (4)
Steve: Dual Superkicks by Physio Joker and Barclay Stockett... Physio doesn't get Technicolor over but Barclay drops Nor!!
Nor Phoenix Diana is eliminated by Barclay Stockett! (1)
Steve: Hell of a time to get your first elimination PHYSIO CLOTHESLINES BARCLAY AND TECHNICOLOR OVER!!!
Barclay Stockett and Technicolor Talia Convery are eliminated by Physio Joker! (6/7) Physio Joker wins!!
Ash: Here is your winner, and the NEW Inferno Title Champion, PHYSIO JOKER!
Steve: Well, well, this is just gonna make him ALL sorts of intolerable, isn't-
Shawn Harris walks back to the ring, sweat and blood still fresh. The Crimson Rite Title rests on his shoulder. He slowly raises the mic, smirking as the crowd boos. He briefly stares Physio down as they compare titles. Physio leaves as Shawn begins to speak.
“You see this?”
(holds up the title)
“This isn’t a miracle. This isn’t luck. This is inevitable.”
“Mal Sangre… you walked into this match calling yourself pain, calling yourself suffering, calling yourself the embodiment of violence. But tonight—TONIGHT—you found out what happens when violence meets purpose.”
“You bled. You screamed. You broke. And when you were on your knees, gasping for air, you realized the truth you’ve been running from your whole career…”
“You were never the monster.”
“I was.”
“They named this championship the Crimson Rite because it demands blood. It demands sacrifice. It demands someone willing to go further than anyone else is comfortable with. And Mal Sangre? You spilled the blood… but I passed the rite.”
(leans into the hard cam)
“I didn’t beat you to prove I’m better. I beat you to replace you.”
“So to everyone in the back, every so-called contender watching right now—understand this clearly:
This title isn’t defended in matches.
It’s defended in war.”
“And if you step into my ring, chasing what’s mine…
I won’t just take your pride.”
(raises the belt high)
“I’ll carve your name into the same list as Mal Sangre.”
“Another sacrifice… to the reign of Shawn Harris.”
Shawn Harris leaves the ring with a smirk on his face while the crowd boos.
Once he leaves the cells start to lower and the ring drops out.
Steve: Oh Good God. This match both titillates and terrifies me.
Simon: It truly is one of the most wild matches we've encountered. Basically, you have to break through the three layers of cell and drop your opponents into the Pit.
The contestants surround the structure and begin to brawl!
Steve: All honesty, I think I would get up to the top of this structure as soon as possible, no mucking about.
Simon: Chorker and Mansin trading stiff punches, Tribal Chief slams Thor into the steel, absolutely unloading fists on Thor's ribs. Slang Dang and DX Royal reliving their hatred for each other, Slang Dang slams DX into the side of the structure. Moon loading chops out on Blood Drawn.
Kendra: A lot of people are looking for their rivals, but the Beautiful One Vain Plato seems to have your thoughts in mind.
Steve: I think he's just looking for the best angle for himself.
Simon: Chorker starting now with his chain and just unloading on Mansin. Wolfgunblud starting to climb himself, getting himself under Vain, Vain trying to kick him down, Ace Anarchy eats the business end of Scott Razor's bat!
Kendra: James D with a low blow on Razor, he groans but swings around and James pays for it. Daniel powerbombs Tyler Hayes onto the wall! Slang Dang blasting DX with a series of German Suplexes!
Steve: Slamming onto the side walls probably isn't going to do a whole lot to get in that pit.
Simon: No, the walls of the side are double-reinforced. There's no give, only pain.
Kendra: DX kicks off the wall and gets behind Slang, Gutwrench Suplex! And DX starts the climb!
Simon: Screech body checks Slang! Wonderwolf starting up the cage, launches himself at the crowd! He takes a bunch out at once, just bodies everywhere.
Kendra: Chorker and Mansin taking themselves to the top, and others starting to follow, Vain Plato and Wolfgunblud already up at the apex, and Vain Plato softening up the top just blasting Wolf with spinebuster after spinebuster. WGB tying to stop the brutalizing, wraps his arms around Vain's head and Chorker makes it up, he lifts them BOTH up and just a HUGE Double Stacked Powerbomb!!! The top of the cell is starting to shake, here comes Mansin charging like a rhino and SPEAR! Gets Gun up and MANEURYSM and we are just so close to breaking, Blood Drawn launches Moon at the crowd and down through the first cell we go!
Simon: Blood Drawn remaining on the top as Moon, Chorker, Wolfgunblud, Vain, and Mansin battle it out on on the bottom. Down below, Scott Razor remains on the ground floor just absolutely going to town on everyone around him with his trusty bat, James D, Ace Anarchy, Wonderwolf just eating barbed wire. Screech eats Luciano's Butcher's Blade Kick pushing him up against the wall. Alfos trying to get up, Dedo trying to pull him back down and Alfos wraps his legs around Dedo....Night Shades him on the Cell!
Steve: That's one way to get a leg up on the competition.
Kendra: Oh no.
Simon: The structure with such big men down in that first cell means that the top door is not gonna be long for this world. Tyler Hayes starting to climb, but taking his time and I think that's a wiser call, let the people in there thin out the numbers a little bit, CHORK SLAM puts Mansin down into that Middle Cell, which means the next stop is the Pit.
Kendra: Wonderwolf finally escaping that brutality of the bat, making the climb, Razor choosing to remain throwing wood around but Anarchy drills him with the State of Decay!!
Steve: I actually change my mind. I agree with you Simon. Staying on the bottom for a bit is smarter. Won't move the match along much if you care about kill count. But does keep you alive a little bit longer.
Simon: Does that mean you'd stay grounded?
Steve: No, I'd still climb, but I'd do it to fly down and have some people meet my Venom Spike. Do you really know me to make the smart move over the fun one? Come on now.
Kendra: We've got the rest of the crowd starting to head up now, Wonderwolf face to face with his old buddy Blood Drawn, they tangle and Blood Drawn launches him with a Double Choke Slam right back off the edge!
Simon: Goin' the wrong way, buddy.
Steve: Somehow I don't know that Blood Drawn cares too much.
Kendra: And this takes Alfos and Tyler off the wall! Daniel catches Wonder! A little leg up from a friend.
Simon: Wonder gets back to the top, Blood shaking his head like "I thought I told you"... and pulling him up to the top... up on his shoulders... Wonder eats The Descent!
Kendra: Mansin really taking a risk down in the middle and stomping that floorboard out!
Steve: The Pit is Open! And Blood Drawn sees his opening! Scooping Wonderwolf up one more time... looking for a Powerbomb to send him into the depths WHOA WONDERWOLF SLIPS BEHIND HIM...DROPKICKS BLOOD DRAWN DOWN INTO THE ABYSS!!! Those holes line up perfectly, and this match is about to get some Blood Loss!
Blood Drawn is eliminated by Wonderwolf! (1)
Simon: Now that the seal is broken, everyone is making their way up!! This match just got a whole lot more dangerous!! Tribal Chief gets Thor up, F5 into the Hole!! Rip and Tear!!!
Thor is eliminated by The Tribal Chief! (1)
Kendra: DX Royal behind Tribal Chief, dropkicks him right down after him!!
The Tribal Chief is eliminated by DX Royal! (1)
Steve: Slang Dang right behind DX Royal... DANG A SLANG SLAM! OH BUT DX IS ABLE TO CATCH HIMSELF ONLY ONE FLOOR DOWN! HE'S STILL IN THIS THING! Slang can't believe it DANIEL BOOTS HIM INTO THE HOLE AND HE CATCHES HIMSELF... DANIEL JUMPS DOWN WITH A STOMP AND LOOSENS SLANG'S GRIP!
Slang Dang is eliminated by Daniel! (1)
Kendra: Daniel trying to stomp DX down now, but he's holding on tight and trying to pull himself up... Wolfgunblud starts throwing a barrage of fists at Daniel.
Simon: Mansin all on his lonesome in that middle cell, created a hole and now no one wants to come and play with him. Debating on whether to jump back up, or to just let people fall for a bit and let the action come to him.
Kendra: Chorker unloading on Vain with that chain and I'm sure he is not thrilled about what it's doing to his beautiful face. Vain pulls the chain to him and spinebuster on Chorker.
Steve: Looks like Scott's taking his bat antics to the top, Wonderwolf thought he got away from this, but eats an Uppercut full of barbed wire! Dedo ducks a swing but Scott reverses direction and Dedo gets the bat on the other side! Tyler Hayes takes a bludgeoning over the head with it!!
Kendra: Wonder, Dedo, and Tyler to their feet, looking at each other, Triple Superkick to Scott!!! High fives all around DEDO WITH THE BACK BODY DROP FROM THE VALLEYS SENDS WONDERWOLF INTO THE HOLE!!!
Wonderwolf is eliminated by Dedo Apestoso de la Muerte! (1)
Steve: At least Tyler understands the assignment and shoulder blocks Scott into the hole! Scott isn't limber enough to grab onto something fast!
Scott Razor is eliminated by Tyler Hayes! (1)
Simon: DX finally pulls himself off the ledge DANIEL BOOTS HIM BACK INTO THE HOLE.
DX Royal is eliminated by Daniel! (2)
Kendra: Luciano looking to lower into that top cage, VAIN BOOTS CHORKER INTO LUCIANO AND LUCIANO GOES DOWN! ANOTHER KICK AND CHORKER FOLLOWS!!
Luciano and Chorker are eliminated by Vain Plato! (1/2)
Steve: However you feel about Plato you gotta respect the double play. James D blasts Dedo with that D Stroyer knee right into the hole!! See ya!!
Dedo Apestoso de la Muerte is eliminated by James D! (1)
Simon: Screech debating whether he wants to stay outside the cell, decides to jump down a level OOOH He mistimed that significantly and misses the ledge! That's embarrassing.
Screech is eliminated by....Screech. (1)
Kendra: This match is chaos, and I'd be hard pressed to assume we're gonna see it again except in MAWL III.
Steve: Yeah, I love insane but this... this is truly something beyond.
Simon: Vain carefully navigating the hole to get to Daniel and Daniel pushes him down into the nothing.
Vain Plato is eliminated by Daniel! (3)
Steve: Moon scaling the walls, he's trying to get back to the outside! And Mansin deciding he's had enough waiting, taking a leap back to the level above and DANIEL SAYS NO.
Mansin is eliminated by Daniel! (4)
Kendra: Who's left in this? We've got Alfos, Tyler Hayes, James D, and Ace Anarchy upstairs. We've got Wolfgunblud and Daniel in the cell below and we've got Spider-Moon trying to work his way back to the top. Daniel unloads a boxing combo to Gun's ribs. Alfos and Anarchy in a headlock exchanging blows up top. Tyler Hayes and James D engaged in a battle of wills. Alfos One Bang to Anarchy!! Gun with a Double Axe Handle on Daniel and has his hair, just smashing him into the cell!
Simon: James D struggling Tyler closer to the hole, MOON HAS A HOLD OF TYLER'S LEGS! MOON SHOWING CRAZY STRENGTH HOLDING ONTO THE CELL WITH ONE HAND AND TYLER WITH ANOTHER! HE PULLS WITH ALL HIS MIGHT...TYLER SLIPS! JAMES RELEASES THE HOLD AND MOON PULLS HIM DOWN THROUGH THE CAVITY!! TYLER CAN'T GET A GRASP AND INTO THE PIT HE GOES!!
Tyler Hayes is eliminated by Moon! (1)
Steve: The little dude has so much power in his muscles! Strength that comes from seemingly nowhere! And he's able to Monkey Bar his way to the hole...James D trying to stomp him down! James D trying to break the hold! James D is in Moon's grasp! Moon has his foot!
Simon: I don't think James quite thought this through, he succeeds in the stomp and breaks Moon's hold but Moon pulls him down with him!!
James D (2) and Moon (2) eliminate each other!
Kendra: And then there were 4! Alfos hits another One Bang on Ace Anarchy! Ace is getting reeeeal close to the hole, he should probably be careful. Alfos looks to end him with a boot, Ace ducks! Ace stops almost comically on a dime, turns himself around... STATE OF DECAY TAKES ALFOS STRAIGHT TO HELL!!
Alfos is eliminated by Ace Anarchy! (1)
Steve: Ace is able to angle his landing where he rolls into the top cell! He is only two people away from retaining the title in this absolute clustermuck of a match! And those two people are beating the living snot out of each other!! Absolute cinema!!!
Simon: Is... Is Wolfgunblud eating a Holy Wrath??
Kendra: I can't see Daniel's face so I don't quite know for sure, but he's certainly getting slammed a dang lot and Ace sees WGB swinging this way, takes the fall with a perfectly timed Down with the System Cutter!!!
Wolfgunblud is eliminated by Ace Anarchy! (2)
Simon: And that top Cell is pushed completely off its hinges so I'm gonna go ahead and say yep, Daniel is wearing the mask, and Ace Anarchy is about to meet his maker DANIEL SLAMS ACE INTO THE CELL WALL REPEATEDLY AND THE CELL WALL IS STRAIGHT UP MOVING!!! HE PULLS THE HULK TO LOKI MOVE AND DANIEL CHOSE VIOLENCE!!!
Kendra: Look, he's had an inconsistent Win/Loss recently, this was bound to happen and he SPIKES Ace Anarchy into the Hole! The Mask was what he needed all along and Daniel has earned his first title here at MAWL!!
Ace Anarchy is eliminated by Daniel! (5) Daniel wins the title!
Ash: Here is your winner, and the NEW Dead Air Champion.... DANIEL!!
Simon: Daniel wins, but he's still rampaging! This might take us a little to get under control, until then, let's take you over to the Family Plot Match.
Aiko and Rina are the first on the scene-
Aiko is losing her mind in Japanese, and Rina is trying her best both to ameliorate her and agree with her. They look around the cemetery. Finally, Jeannie catches up with them.
Rina: Okay, at least you ended up in the same place we did. Maybe that's a sign that we're going in the right direction.
Jeannie: They said by the two twisted trees, but all the trees here are twisted.
Rina: This is no way to run a Pay-Per-View-
The phone rings. Rina puts it on speaker.
Iris (VO): Hey where are you guys?
Rina: We're... by trees? All the trees look the same.
Iris (VO): Closest gravestone. What's the name on it?
Rina: Um...
They look around for a second. Jeannie wipes a grave off.
Jeannie: OH! Um... Razvan... Ungureanu.
Iris (VO): Great! If you're facing the headstone, just a couple minutes to your left and up the hill.
Rina: Aren't we supposed to start in the valley?
Iris (VO): We start on the hill together then charge to the valley as a team.
Rina and Jeannie look at each other. Aiko says something hesitant.
Rina: I agree, but it's better for our team to be together.
Iris (VO): Mayu is already here.
They look at each other and follow the instructions.
The road is winding and perilous, as the headstones are generally on the smaller side. Eventually they see the hill. They catch Iris and Mayu. Mayu looks concerned.
Mayu: It's a TR-
Iris donks her on the head with a shovel and drops her into her marked grave. She laughs.
Iris: Boy you're all dumb as shit, aren't ya.
Ambush!
Miyuu and Mew throw Rina into her grave. Maki and Miu throw Aiko into hers.
Iris: Now the deal was when you win the Trios titles, me and whatever team I'm with get first crack, yeah?
Maki: That's the deal.
Iris jumps into her own grave, and Goddess of Stardom get to work burying the four, leaving Maki the champion.
The camera focuses on the ZLI patch then zooms out to Daria's crimson lips, curled in a smile as they exhale smoke. The red lights give the smoke an almost sulfuric vibe. She chuckles scornfully.
Daria: Why. Why. Why. That's how just about every sentence I've had to endure has started for the past several months.
Why did you hit your cousin with a pipe. Why did you hit your cousin again. Why did you come back to MAWL when you shit on your cousin for returning to MAWL. Why did you return to the woman who ruined your life, and why are you doing it with the woman you tried to warn against the woman who ruined your life?
Why? WHY? WhYyYy?
Here's one.
Why do you think you deserve an answer? Why do you think I OWE you one?
But you know what? I'm a benevolent bitch, so I'll tell you.
The why is simple. Power.
There's power in numbers. There's power in having the financial backing to live the life I deserve. There's power in not being constrained by what's right or expected. There's power in sensuality and owning that. There's power in real bonds, and there's power in knowing the limits of those bonds. There's power in freedom, and there's freedom in power.
Zora Luthor International gives me the power I need to own this federation and my destiny. And if I decide to leave, if I turn on them, I know they'll take me back, because everyone in here knows they're in a den of thieves. Everyone knows that they'll back each other up and they'll stab each other's backs. There's no high ground, no moral code, no "be better". We're all broken, we're all opportunistic, we're all for ourselves first, there are no rubes in this organization. And because of all of this, we know the smartest thing is to have each others' backs and take advantage of the idiots who don't bear these three letters.
And if I'm honest, I love these bitches. Doesn't mean I won't walk over em to get what I want, and so will they, but as much as I'd kill them I'd kill for them.
Simon: I'm gonna be completely honest, I don't know why Aiko kept trusting Iris after the Lifeboat Match.
Kendra: Yeah. I think she's shown herself to be opportunistic and now she has a potential Trios Title Match with... some other people, I guess she's going group hunting... if Dark Souls and Miu can get the belts.
Simon: A lot of promises being made, but we've already seen Diana Dresden duped and I'm not entirely convinced Iris isn't setting herself up for the same thing.
Kendra: Speaking of betrayals, that Daria promo understandably put Steve a little in his feelings and he's decided to take the rest of the night off. I say take it off, but really what was expected of him tonight was already done. But we do have a third for our final two matches. Romanian-American Actress Oana Gregory, thanks for joining us.
Oana: Two matches doesn't seem enough time to execute a proper heel turn but happy I'm here.
Simon: Oh boy. What did-
Oana: Kidding. I'm kidding. Very happy to be here in the land of my heritage, and been watching you guys so I'd say I'm fairly knowledgeable in these people.
Kendra: Cool. Very good. So next up, we have our Last Man Standing Match between JCM Ace and Stonefist.
Oana: JCM Ace is always so much fun to watch, right from his entrance. I definitely have an "I'm Coming" shirt, but I thought I'd look a little more professional today.
Ash: The following contest is a Last Man Standing Match! And it is for the Eurasian Championship!
https://suno.com/s/3DBwTKXoD9xTSAsv
The arena lights dim, plunging the crowd into shadow. A low rumble of thunder echoes through the speakers, vibrating the ground beneath the fans. Suddenly—a blinding flash of lightning cracks across the stage, followed by a roar of thunder that shakes the rafters. The titan appears.
Stonefist emerges from a curtain of smoke, cloaked in Greco-Roman regalia, his golden eyes glowing under the flicker of strobe lights.
Each step he takes down the ramp lands like a war drum, synced with booming thunderclaps over the sound system. The crowd erupts into chants of “STONE-FIST! STONE-FIST!” as the storm builds around him. Halfway down the ramp, he raises both fists to the sky. At once, pyro erupts like lightning bolts, streaking from the stage to the ceiling as the arena lights flash white.
Ash: The challenger! From the Peaks of Olympus! Standing at 7 foot and weighing 380 pounds, The Living Legend...STONEFIST!!
The sound system blasts a final thunderclap as if the gods themselves answered his call. He ascends the steps to the ring with the slow, commanding pace of a deity, slamming his fist into the mat as he enters. The ring shudders under the blow, the crowd roaring as if Olympus itself trembled. He rises, arms stretched wide, basking in the storm he commands.
Oana: I've been waiting to say this. Could I?
Kendra: All yours.
Oana: "The storm has arrived… and tonight, Olympus walks among us!"
Simon: Nicely done!
Kendra: Stonefist won this opportunity in the Feast or Famine at Fallout. Let's see if the behemoth can make good on the case.
Suddenly:
"I'M COMMMMMING"
The arena lights dim, with red and white strobes sweeping the crowd.
Ace walks down the ramp with calculated calm, his movements deliberate and his gaze unflinching.
Ash: AND THE CHAMPION! From Florida, at 6 foot 1 and weighing 300 pounds, he is the Eurasian Champion.... J! C! M! ACE!!
Much of the crowd cheers, the rest of the crowd boos him relentlessly, but Ace feeds off the heat with a smug, unbothered smirk.
Midway down the ramp, he stops and examines the arena, eyes fixated on the prize.
Oana: I gotta ask, what happened to Queen and Ricky? Haven't seen em around in a while.
Simon: Queen is pregnant. And Ricky, last I heard through the rumor mill, is that he's getting ring ready. I'm not sure for what, exactly. But I imagine he'll be around if needed.
He climbs into the ring with slow, deliberate movements, scanning the arena before leaning casually against the ropes, waiting for the bell to ring, championship loosely wrapped around his waist.
The bell rings!
Kendra: There's almost an entire foot difference between these two men, but JCM just sees it as more to punch. He's going in with a series of European Uppercuts, starting to get a little bit of motion on Stonefist, loading himself back and it's a risk already but I think he's looking for some velocity impact, Stonefist goes for the boot OH JCM slides under it and grabs the ankle! He's got him in an Ankle Lock!
Simon: That's not gonna do a whole lot in a Last Man Standing Match, other than introduce Stonefist to the ground early. Stonefist loads his foot back and pushes JCM away, gets him back off the ropes but this time in a defensive position and gets JCM by the neck... MOUNT OLYMPUS CHOKESLAM!
Danny: ONE! TWO!
Oana: JCM rolling to his feet, I knew that wasn't gonna be enough. But Stonefist breaking out the big guns early tells me he's low key scared.
Kendra: Interesting observation. I see where you get the idea from, and I'll say he's most definitely not taking JCM for granted.
Simon: JCM coming off the ropes and looking for that 3rd Ave... NO! STONEFIST CATCHES HIM INTO A SCOOP SLAM! But he's able to roll himself out of the ring before we can get to a count.
Oana: Ace digging for gold under that ring there!
Kendra: What he found was a wooden side table. Hmm. Not quite a table, not quite a chair, but he rolls in and smashes it in the face of Stonefist! Stonefist's head snaps back for a second, but he remains otherwise immobile, this is going to be a rough night for JCM.
Simon: A match like this, JCM will need to use his agility and mobility to counteract Stonefist, evade, duck, and weave. Smash mouth is great if you can overpower your opponent, that'll be a tough road here.
Oana: You think we'll get a Lockdown tonight?
Kendra: I am not ruling it out. JCM off the ropes, ducks Stonefist's lariat, springboards up and DDT! Stonefist quick to his feet, back elbow winds JCM but only temporary, he parlays it into an armbar and trying to wrench it backwards, a form of Fujiwara.
Simon: This is smart by JCM, create a situation that makes accessing his other arm less viable, and JCM unloading some kicks to Stonefist's midsection now, Pele Kick to Stonefist's face, off the ropes and a Curb Stomp!!
Danny: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Oana: Stonefist is up, holding his head a little and here comes JCM to take advantage, Snap DDT! Stonefist starting to get up, damn JCM is quick with those boots!
Simon: He's creating a lot of avenues with the focus on Stone's head, going for a series of Bionic elbows, Stonefist ends that barrage with a one-handed back suplex!
Kendra: JCM lands on his neck, that can't be fun, but he's able to roll back and immediately Stonefist boots him right back down.
Danny: ONE! TWO! T-
Kendra: Ace isn't having it, to his feet and ready to throw hands again, ducks Stonefist's namesake and a boxing rush to the midsection, DOUBLE AXE HANDLE BY STONEFIST FLATTENS JCM!
Danny: ONE! TWO! T-
Oana: JCM's really having a hard time with that Foot difference, but he's to his feet, ducks the Olympus Breaker Fist and twists the arm back... he climbs up on the back for that Horse Ride Submission!! Save a Horse Ride a Stonefist!
Simon: Stonefist struggling to keep his footing, the problem with being muscular is you don't bend too easy.
Kendra: Like you said, agility and mobility.
Simon: Exactly! Stonefist letting out a yell and runs backwards...flattening JCM against the Turnbuckles! JCM's got nowhere to go...OLYMPUS BREAKER FIST! Stone's been trying for it all match and it finally connects!
Danny: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Oana: Come on JCM! Get up!
Danny: FOUR! FIVE! SIX!
Kendra: There's brutality and there's fatality. That fist easily delivers both.
Danny: SEVEN! EI-
Oana: JCM IS UP!! HE SURVIVES THE OLYMPUS BREAKER FIST!!!
Kendra: He's breathing heavy though. I'm not convinced getting up was the best idea, Stonefist furious, LOCKDOWN LARIAT BY JCM!!!
Danny: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Oana: What a comeback!!
Danny: FOUR! FIVE! SIX!
Simon: JCM had better hope he stays down though.
Danny: SE-
Kendra: Stonefist to his feet! Stonefist going for a lariat of his own, flips JCM but it leaves him on his butt, JCM evades the boot with a roll, back behind Stonefist, Stonefist throws back an elbow and it catches JCM on the jaw, JCM staggers back, Stonefist going for a run now and I do not like where this is heading...STORMBREAKER SPEAR JCM DUCKS!! JCM GETS UNDER HIM AND HE'S LIFTING HIM UP... NO WAY... Oana you wanna call it?
Oana: AAAAAAAACE BOOOOOOMB! AND OUT OF THE RING AT THAT!!!
Danny: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Kendra: JCM just took a 7 foot, 380 pound man, and spun his ass out of the ring!
Danny: FOUR! FIVE! SIX!
Simon: These two unloaded their entire arsenal.
Danny: SEVEN! EIGHT!
Oana: But only one man can walk out of this match.
Danny: NINE!
Oana: The end...is coming.
Danny: TEN!!!
JCM Ace wins by 10-Count!
Ash: Here is your winner... and STILL Eurasian Champion.... J! C! M! ACE!!!
Oana: The match was all killer no filler, two absolute beasts just DESTROYING each other, and being here to witness it was nothing short of extraordinary.
Kendra: We've got one match left, with our winner from Fallout, the man who beat the Spring Sting crowd and became champ fulfilling his destiny, taking his first defense against the woman who hit him with her car.
Ash: The following contest is our Main Event, and it is an I Quit Match for the Epoch Title! This match can only be won if your opponent says "I Quit" or is deemed unable to continue!
A hot rod enters the stage. Inside it, Guinevere, smirking coldly.
Ash: The challenger! From Grabtree, North Carolina, representing Zora Luthor International... one half of the Fabulous Firebirds... THE DARK PHOENIX, GUINEVERE!!
She parks the hot rod and steps out, strutting to the ring.
Simon: That's the same car she hit Kid Kross with!
Kendra: No kidding, Simon. You think she's gonna bring her nice car or her fightin' car to this match.
Suddenly the trunk shakes violently. It pops open and out comes-
Gagged and tied up. He gasps for air.
Guinevere: And the champion Kid Kross. We're both here, ring the bell!
DeAndra hesitates.
Guinevere: Are you deaf? Ring the damn bell!
The bell rings! Guinevere rips the gag out of Kid Kross's mouth and puts the microphone in his hands.
Guinevere: You know the rules, all you have to do is say those two words and you're home free.
Kid Kross hesitates, she pushes him back in the trunk with the microphone and sits on the trunk.
Simon: Well, this is... one way to do it.
Kendra: You may not like it, but it's anything goes.
Oana: I used to look up to her.
Kid Kross thrashes and attempts to kick the trunk open again. Guinevere reclines on it, pushing her full body weight.
Kid Kross: I QUIT! I QUIT!
Guinevere wins by I Quit!
Ash: Here is your winner, and NEW Epoch Champion...the Dark Phoenix, Guinevere.
The crowd boos. Guinevere lets Kid Kross out of her trunk. He gasps. He's angry.
Simon: What an ignoble end to our otherwise intense Pay Per View. I'm Simon Apple, with Kendra Mavis, Arvin Wallace-Jones, and special thanks to the amazing Oana Gregory and Steve Thunder for filling in. So long.
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