Int. Colin's House

 

Colin and his husband Trev are watching a movie. At least Trev is watching. Colin seems...concerned. Rabbit holing.

 

 

Trev: Babe. You're missing the big clim... you okay?

 

Colin: No. Yes. Sorry. I... sheepish can we rewind?

 

Trev: I'll do you one better. Let's pause, and you tell me what's going on.

 

Colin: I... I think I may have been wrong about something.

 

Trev: As rare as that is, does it beggar this level of... oh this is MAWL stuff. Hon, don't torture yourself with this. 

 

Colin: I know. I shouldn't. It's better I'm out. Right? But...something still feels off.

 

Trev peers over at the laptop.

 

Trev: This is that match, right? Oh wait.

 

Trev takes the laptop and pauses the video. He zooms in.

 

Trev: This here. This is weirdly keyed.

 

Trev starts typing with increasing speed then sends the video by email to his own computer. Soon both are looking at it. Trev begins typing furiously and clicking around and his eyes go wide.

 

Colin: You see something?

 

Trev: Yeah, this footage has been messed with and it looks like they did a pretty amateur job. Check this out.

 

After some technical clicking that would probably go over all our heads, Colin peers over at Trev's screen and his eyes also go wide.

 

Colin: Pinoy was r-

 

JANUARY 26, 2026
HELSINKI, FINLAND

HELSINKI OLYMPIC STADIUM

 

 

"Cha Cha Cha" plays in Helsinki Stadium as the fireworks go off. 

 

 

Simon (OC): The apex. The zenith. The top of the mountain. We started with 96 competitors from more than 5 federations, and tonight the remaining 32 come for the most intensely fought W2 to date. One walks out with the trophy and a shot whenever they want - he, she, or they - at the Legacy Title any time they want. So, I have to ask this crowd. ARE YOU PREPARED?

 

The crowd starts to cheer. 

 

 

Simon: I SAID....ARE! YOU! PREPARED!!!!!

 

The crowd gets loud!

 

Simon: WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME TO THE FINAL DAY OF THE W2!! I am Simon Apple, and I am here with Jackson Creed and Kendra Mavis as we get this final day rolling. Let's talk about how this all shook out.

 

 

Kendra: Yeah. So quickly to remind everyone, the top 4 of each group go into the tournament. The 5th will get first rite of refusal for next year's Golden Group, and the 6th will get first rite of refusal for Silver next year. Let's start with the Earth Group.

 

 

Kendra: El Señor Pikachu shot out like a bat out of hell in his first three matches, and looked an early clinch, but Yuletide finally found the formula in Round 4 to ball the little man up, starting off an equal amount of losses and could not recover. PG-13 likewise had a 3 out of 4  win-loss and looked like she might have an easy road, but could only notch 1 win after that and fell straight out of favor, right past the Gold and Silver spots for next year into the bottom.

 

 

Jackson: And those two collapses, because let's be honest, that's what they were, led the way for Scott Razor to scrape back from a 1-2 Win Loss, and fight all the way to the bitter end, with it literally coming down to the last match, a slobberknocker match against Yuletide that was a do or die. And Scott did and just grabbed the 4th spot. 

 

Simon: Moving to the Air Group-

 

 

Simon: -there were two major stories here. One was a story of dominance. Chorker steamrolled the competition, taking Ls only from XEL and Lexxus OC-

 

Kendra: Neither of whom made it in-

 

Simon: But otherwise there was no question he was gonna be here today. Now the other side of the story, the over 500s that just absolutely deflated. Lexxus OC as we mentioned, Axel, JP Spears, and Gilberto J, literally no wins from him after day 5.

 

Jackson: But that's only part of the story with the over 500s, right? Aiko and Dedo found their groove after that and worked their way in, with Violet rounding the 4. 

 

Simon: Let's move to Water now. 

 

 

Kendra: Three major stories here. The first is, Wolfie who like Chorker only took two falls during the whole of the first round. One to Steve Thunder, and one to Tyler Hayes who is actually the second story here.

 

Jackson: That's right. Tyler got his first win then proceeded to careen off the road for the next 4 matches, but something clicked at exactly the right time and starting with the win against our third story.

 

Simon: Sophie Desire who took the opposite direction of Tyler. Sophie like Wolfie started with an impeccable record, and that loss to Tyler really seemed to throw her off. She did catch the win with Solemn Guardian but it was all downhill from there right until the end, where it went from an early favorite to clinch to a real do or die fight with Lucenza Rossi, just barely holding onto her spot. 

 

Kendra: And so we go from Water to Fire.

 

 

Jackson: Jassy held probably the best record of anyone, also with 9 wins but a tie in place of a loss.

 

Simon: Yeah, but that's a tainted tie, right? It came from an obvious alliance. It really read just like last year's W2 in that ZLI camp.

 

Kendra: Tribal Chief took the Sophie Slide as Pinoy Power Surge took him down on Day 6...man, Day 6 really was the turning point for a lot of them, wasn't it? But he was able to rescue himself as effectively and also held on to spot number 4.

 

Simon: Day 6 was surely chaos. But for the Platinum Group, the problems actually started a day earlier, when we learned the identity of the Godmother, the leader of the Garden, changing the whole dynamic. 

 

 

Kendra: That's right Simon, we thought that Mela Murder dropping her former partner Phoebe Black to give Rosalina Ramos a win was just partner on partner violence, but then Mela kissed the ring and Rosalina was revealed to be the mastermind behind the whole damn thing.

 

Simon: In retrospect, we should have seen it coming with the way she entered the W2, but hindsight and all that.

 

Jackson: Well, that was the turning point for Rosalina, who went from a spotty record to only clocking one loss from that day, and that was to Lynx who JUST squeezed his place in a do or die match on Day 11, besting his erstwhile rival Rade and copping his spot in the Final, which means that Rade will miss the final tournament for the first time in 4 years. 

 

Kendra: It's been a hell of a downfall for the once monster who's lost a little bit of his threat since moving more in the tag division. I thought when Rena started with him that it would be a good fit, but I'm starting to wonder. 

 

Simon: Lynx and Rosalina will be joining Damian Blackheart and Good Dude Greg Arias in the tournament from the Platinum group. 

 

Jackson: Damian one of the few Replacement fighters to do well, but probably the best replacement story comes in the Bronze Group.

 

 

Jackson: In fact I'd even say two of the best, as both Robertos Michael and Malcri had to step in, Robertos Michael on Day 2 for Oliver Goodman and Malcri for Magnus on Day 4. Meanwhile, Alysa Liu stepped into a spot with 2 wins and a tie from Schmetterling and following two wins of her own crashed and burned. 

 

Simon: Schmetterling was truly unfortunate as he had to leave due to injury but was potentially en route to be the first to win 2 in a row. The other story here is there is some controversy between Jared Scythe and Stonefist, as they ended the ranking with the same amount of points and no distinguishing Tiebreaker as they tied in their match together. 

 

Jackson: Some are questioning the decision and DA Jones.

 

Kendra: Yeah, a lot o' y'all are bein' racist about that and I need you to stop. The decision was handed down per DA as Jared won his last match and Stonefist lost his. That's it, that's all. No erasure happening.

 

Jackson: Right. Well. One thing that's less controversial but no less surprising is Zora Luthor. 

 

Simon: She stole her way to the finals last year but couldn't get it done against Schmetterling in the final match, but this year she's at the bottom of the barrel, leading many to ask if her in-ring days are behind her and she now needs to stick to managing ZLI. And I gotta be honest, it's a fair set of questions. 

 

Kendra: I think you're trippin but let's move on, we got 2 more groups to get through and people don't wanna hear analysis, they want matches. So let's talk about who's gettin that MONEY. 

 

 

Simon: We talked about Jassy having the best record, but I would actually give it to Matt Martigon, who also had the 9-1-1 but didn't get there because of a friend. He absolutely dogwalked this entire roster, the only person who actually beat him was Rox Starr, but that was on the last day and by then it meant not a whole lot of anything. 

 

Kendra: You just hate Jassy.

 

Simon: I was a supporter of hers in the Psycho days but yeah I'll admit some bias. And to play fair to some of the other groups, it's not like any faction really made out well in this group. It's been one year since Cassandra threw her title defense to join ZLI - it was on the final day of last year's W2 - and the promises of having an illustrious career have not materialized. At this point I think she's only staying for the penthouse, because it sure hasn't helped her career.

 

Jackson: But this group is proof positive that you really have to judge the event by its entirety and not predict anything too early. If we were going off the first 4 days, WildFire, Ivan Volkov, and Alpha Kyle Harris were 3-1 and Dante Rivera was 1-3. But WildFire barely made it to top 4 and Ivan and Harris are gonna have to come back next year. 

 

Kendra: Ivan and Harris are two different stories in of themselves, because Ivan's performance was fairly consistent in its inconsistency the whole way through, whereas Kyle Harris went 5-1 and seemed a lock, but his loss to Martigon kicked off a 4-match drought that sank his chances. At least he'll get to join the Silver Group next year if he wants so, lateral move.

 

Simon: And we had reported at the beginning of this W2 that he was debuting, and in doing so we completely forgot that he made an attempt at WildFire's title at Holiday Hellscape.

 

Kendra: It was such a quick match that I don't think it even registered. Our bad, Kyle.

 

Jackson: He truly is a Forgotten Brother. 

 

Simon: Well, WildFire surely didn't forget-

 

Cut to WildFire pacing angrily backstage.

 

 

Simon: -as he's slated to say something about Hellscape a little later. He's clearly the most agitated I've seen him. Usually a calm guy.

 

Kendra: He's just one of many people pulling double duty tonight because of this tournament. 

 

Jackson: To swing it back to Martigon, as the winner of the Silver Group he got the $10K and has a demi-case, which means he can challenge for a mid-level belt once at any point. But how does that play out when he's already the US Champ?

 

Simon: I mean, a number of ways. He could choose to hold it in case he drops the belt to get another swing at it, like what happened to take the belt off Rina at Hellscape. He could choose to go for a second belt, either with the US or after it. Talk in the locker room is that he has his eyes on the Eurasian Belt. 

 

Kendra: He can try it. I'd like to see him try it. But let's talk about the final group, the 25K, what everyone is looking towards.

 

 

Jackson: The Golden Group, perhaps unsurprisingly, had the closest race to the top. Shawn Harris went into this bragging that the money was as good as his, and he came very close. Shawn Harris, Def Jam, and Aja Lioness all ended with an 8-3 record, and the tiebreakers really came into play here. Harris beat Lioness; however, Def Jam beat them both.

 

Kendra: This means that not only does Def Jam win $25K, that's now TWO briefcases he has for title matches. That's... concerning. 

 

Simon: The tiebreak rule played completely into this group, as SM Heartbreaker claims his 4th seed by the tiebreak point against Will Corrigan. So Corrigan will be able to come back into the Golden Group next year, but his time in the tournament is done. 

 

Kendra: And the last one I wanna talk about is JCM Ace. JCM started with a 4-1, and it seemed like he was destined for greatness. But then his match with Shawn Harris turned that all around and started him on a 4-loss streak that cost him his spot. 

 

Jackson: Well, Ace will have a chance to get at least into the Four Corners if he can get one of the 5 best times in the Beat the Clock Event. That's coming up in a little bit, but we've got 2 matches before that, and we're gonna start off with a Title Match! Sending it down to Sheri Orleans. 

 

 

Sheri: The following trios contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Sheri: And is for the Trios Championship!

 

The lights flash out as clocks start to tick. Owls hoot and the crowd feels the chill.

 

 

Rena Terror steps out first, with a mic in her hand. The clock continues ticking almost as an extended play.

 

 

Rena: And the Carols quieted. And the gifts had been opened and returned. Yet, there are some who refuse to take down their tree. Some who refuse to acknowledge the cold and bitter of the winter, who wish to revel in songs that have surpassed their meaning, to stare at lights that have outlived their use. Is it some hope that a present will be left under the tree that they forgot? Is it some delusion to gird themselves against the truth, is it some fear of the coming year and all the destruction that awaits them? 

 

In the bitter end, the reason is rendered irrelevant. As you stare at your blinking lights with childish wonder, the pines fall from the trees. The wood dries. And that tree that has been feeding you joy and comfort becomes the kindling for your own undoing. In that fire, the last three faces you see, will be the Face that Breeds Terror... the Face that Draws Blood....

 

 

Rena: ... and the Face that Collects it.

 

 

Rena: There are no Ghosts of Christmas Past. You are the Ghosts of Christmas Future. We are the Ghosts of Christmas Present. WE. ARE. 

DAS VERDERBEN!

 

The three spit fountains of blood in the air as the synth kicks in and the music returns.

 

Simon: Das Verderben - translated into German as "The Ruin" - earned their shots at Holiday Hellscape in a Next Level Match and have been waiting for the turn of the month. You have to wonder if the mental preparation for this match also factored into Rade's performance during the W2, as he definitely was not operating at full capacity. 

 

Kendra: Well, they'll have to hope they can chalk it up to that, because the team is going to need Rade at full speed to pull these titles. Cinnaman should not be slept on, and Yuletide put on a hell of a showing even during the W2, proving Christmas Magic isn't just for Christmastime. 

 

 

The lights reflect the snowflake globe lights that show on houses. A sled leads out with Yuletide, Sugar Cooki, and Cinnaman riding on the back, holding up their titles and tossing bags of cinnamon sugar cookies into the crowd.

 

 

Sheri: And the CHAMPIONS! The team of Sugar Cooki, Cinnaman, and of course Yuletide, CHRISTMAS WORLD OR-

 

 

El Verdad pulls Sugar Cooki off the sled!!

 

Simon: Oh my God, oh my God, oh no, those two Az-holes have Sugar Cooki and DOUBLE CHOKESLAM ONTO THE RAMP! AND ANOTHER!! ELIOT HAS HER BY THE NECK AND LAUNCHES HER INTO A SPEAKER!!

 

Kendra: Here come the Medics and they're taking Sugar Cooki out on a stretcher. That's gonna put a damper on things.

 

Jackson: The fear was that Rade wasn't going to be at full force. But it looks like the champs are the ones coming in lack of full force.

 

 

Classic Jenny: Are you okay to continue?

 

Kendra: A thumbs up by Cinna and Yuletide. And we're for now going to have a two on three.

 

Simon: They'll hopefully get a third before the match is out, or some Christmas magic, but this is what's gonna happen for now I guess. 

 

The bell rings!

 

Jackson: Yuletide and Blood Drawn to start. Yule coming in hot and those quick fists, pulling Blood back in and a quick belly to belly. Blood Drawn back to his feet, Yuletide boots him backwards, Blood Drawn charges back in with a shoulder block and Yuletide goes rolling!

 

Simon: Yule steels himself, Blood coming for another shoulder tackle and drop toe hold by Yule good maneuvering there... Yule gets his hands around Blood's waist, German Suplex and Blood takes a brutal bump! But the impact even there, he's just able to roll it back to his feet, and catches Yuletide out with a Spinebuster! Ridin' the Red Tide!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Kendra: Yuletide kicks to his feet, out of the Tide on Tide violence of it and headlock to Blood Drawn, hooking the arm and Blood Drawn uses that to get momentum with the other arm, up into an atomic drop, getting Yule by the waist and tag into Rade...another atomic drop and Rade with an Iron Claw. Good teamwork there, Rade locking that in tight and Yuletide coming down to his knee...that's a huge hand to pull off your face but Yule making the damnedest effort towards a rope OH NO Rade swings him back towards the center, Yule making a concerted effort with gut punches and THAT will break the hold!

 

Jackson: What's interesting here is that Yuletide wasn't going towards the rope by his partner, he was going for a center rope. I don't think tagging even registered to him. 

 

Simon: Well no I mean you look at the size of Cinna versus the size of Yule, I wouldn't put Cinna in with this 7 foot 2 behemoth either, especially when it's 2 on 3 like this.

 

Kendra: But that means that Yule is gonna need to take on the two big men himself if he's saving Cinna for Rena. That's a numbers game that even Holiday Magic can't overcome. But a brutal battering ram headbutt to the midsection of Rade hobbles him over, Yuletide gets him in a headlock and we're gonna get some Clubbing Elbows!

 

Simon: Here come the PAIN-DEER!

 

Chanting along to the elbow strikes:

Crowd: DASHER! DANCER! PRANCER! VIXEN! COMET! CUPID! DONNER! BLITZEN! 

 

Jackson: And the wind-up punch coming right for the face....

 

Crowd: RUDOLPH! 

 

Kendra: Oh but it looks like that last one is gonna cause some hand pain for Yule! He tried a fist right in the center of a metal mask! 

 

Simon: The Red Nose Punch is catching him red-handed! Rade with the tiniest of stumbles but capitalizes and putting the squeeze on that hand now! Cinna reaching out for the tag, Yule isn't even considering it. He's fighting through the pain and pushing Rade the other way, and that punch with his free hand will jingle Rade's bells! 

 

Jackson: Back body drop and he's going to the top... we could be going for a Sleigh Ride right here and now...  Rena pulls the rope!

 

Simon: The Tide has turned.

 

Kendra: Boooo.

 

Jackson: Rade uses the time to pull himself up, gets Yule up, and Muscle Buster! Tag into Blood Drawn, Rade giving a huge lift to Blood Drawn and sends him down in a splash! Blood going for the pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! 

 

Simon: Cinna interrupts the count with a diving elbow!! Yule needs to stop being a hero and get out of there! Especially if he wants a shot at the Tournament later tonight. 

 

Kendra: Yule choosing Violence instead, hammerlock to Blood Drawn and trying to wear him down, Blood able to power back up and use Yule's exhaustion as a weapon here, Two-Handed Chokeslam! Going for the pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TW-

 

Jackson: Yule gets the shoulder up on his own volition, he's barely showing any strain. All that training he's been doing has steeled his resolve in pushing through, and he gets Blood in a body scissors! Blood barely seems bothered... pushing himself back to his feet... RUNNING SIDEWALK SLAM! Flips Yuletide on his stomach, going for the Hemorrhage Clutch! Cinna reaching out under the ropes to try to get the tag... Yule's hands bent too far back for him to reach, Cinna watching his partner fading, taking actions into his own hands, onto the apron, TOPE CON HILO INTO THE RING!

 

Kendra: That'll break it up. Rade reaching in and pulling Cinna out of the ring and just unloading punches into his ribs, Yule has Blood's arms hooked for a double underhook DDT... oh is he flapping the arms? Is this some sort of Turtledove? He drops him with it either way, up to the top again and he's calling for it. This is what I love about people calling their shots, it also signals it to the opponents, Rena shakes the ropes again. 

 

Simon: Yule tumbles down, Blood crawling over for the cover-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! TH-

 

Jackson: He's not giving up! Cinna whipped right into the stairs by Rade, with enough force to separate the two pieces of the steps! 

 

Simon: Yuletide embodies the "I didn't hear no silver bells" spirit here, and pulling Blood Drawn to the turnbuckle, dragging him up with him up the chimney, up to the top... over the roof with a Superplex to the outside!!! 

 

Kendra: He just kinda... fell... into it.

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO!

 

Jackson: Smart move taking him out of the ring, you can keep the belts with a double count out and a collapsed Blood Drawn is gonna be hard for Rena to lift him back in.

 

Classic Jenny: THREE! FOUR!

 

Simon: Rade heading over to handle it now.

 

Classic Jenny: FIVE! SIX!

 

Kendra: Cinna up the apron and taking a run... launches himself onto Rade's back!!! Gets Rade in a headlock, Yuletide starting to fight to his feet.

 

Classic Jenny: SEVEN! EIGHT!

 

Simon: Still don't know if he's gonna make it in time and-

 

 

Kendra: Pinoy Power Surge coming from the crowd! She's helping Yuletide into the ring... and tags his hand?!? PINOY IS THE THIRD!!! And she takes a run back and towards the ropes.... SUICIDE DIVE!!! The count restarts!!! Pinoy with some struggle lifts Blood Drawn onto the apron! She rolls him in and into a prawn roll!!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Pinoy Power Surge pins Blood Drawn!

 

Sheri: Here are your winners... and-

 

Pinoy snatches the microphone from her hands.

 

Pinoy: NEEEEEEEEEEW TRIOS CHAMPIONS....

 

The crowd murmurs. Pinoy stands on the ropes with a sneer on her face.

 

Pinoy: Aw, did you think I won this for you two? 

 

 

El Verdad come out from the crowd! Eliot picks up Yuletide... Zac picks up Cinnaman... DOUBLE CHOKESLAM!!! Pinoy nods to them and they grab the Trios Championships. Into the ring they come, handing one of the belts to Pinoy., who sneers as the crowd boos.

 

 

Pinoy: Do I have your attention? Does EL VERDAD. HAVE. YOUR ATTENTION.

 

The crowd boos louder.

 

Pinoy: I begged. For MONTHS I begged. I begged you to listen to me. I begged the higher ups to listen to me. And everyone told me I was crazy. Everyone told me not to care. Everyone wanted to hide the truth. Except for my two compatriots here. 

 

The crowd chants: "You've gone cuckoo!" *Clap clap CLAP CLAP CLAP*

 

Pinoy: Shut up! SHUT UP! I HAVE THE FLOOR NOW! I AM SPEAKING AND I WILL NOT BE SILENCED ANYMORE!

 

Pinoy starts laughing. And it is becoming...disturbing. 

 

Pinoy: And having the floor could not have come at a better time. For you see, I received a very welcome email today from a man you all may know very well who, after months of refusing to listen to me, FINALLY understands what I'm talking about and has sent me INDISPUTABLE PROOF that-

 

 

DA Jones: Hold on, hold on, hold on. You're not showin' anything. First of all, you got some damn nerve pulling this stunt. Second of all, you "won" that as a member of CWO, so by my indication, CWO are still the champions.

 

Pinoy: Oh did I? Holding her chest dramatically Did I? Well, seeing as I'm one of the champs right now, as the most functioning member of "CWO", I'm issuing an open challenge. Squeaky Disney Princess voice Oh are you? Golly gee, I accept on behalf of El Verdad! We can do it RIGHT NOW! normal voice I accept. Tornado rules. 

 

Pinoy pretends to shake her own hand. She nods to Eliot and Zac, who go out to the ring and scoop Yuletide and Cinna before dropping them in the ring and covering them. Pinoy stares at the ref.

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Pinoy: Here are you winners, and NEW, TRUE Trios Champions... Zac Davis-East, Eliot Nestlemen, and me... once the naive bright and sparky Pinoy Power Surge, but truly, I am the purveyor of truth in this federation. I am the one who will bring this to light. I am the Whistleblower, or as we say in the Philippines, Tagapabalita. 

 

I'll break it up for you so your clearly asleep brains can get it.

 

I am hereafter known as Taga Pabalita. Rather than doing the lazy wrestling trope of being identified of where I'm from, I am here to show you who I actually am. And now that I am a champion you will learn who I am. You will learn who we are. And you will learn to know what we know. And you, DA Jones, can't stop us. 

 

DA: Try it. I'll strip you three of the titles and send you careening back to Gung Ho Wrestling. 

 

Taga: Why are you so afraid of the truth, DA? You weren't even in charge then. So why you scared? And honestly, if you send me back, you don't have any sway over me anymore. And I'll just go to Aztec Pro. Or to DCW. Or to 404 full-time. And we'll blow this story so wide that all confidence in MAWL will be lost. So, here is what's going to happen. You're going to certify this win. You're going to certify that Aztec is entitled to a briefcase. 

 

DA: I don't negotiate with terrorists. Certainly not ones who try to tout their Trios Titles as some big deal. 

 

Taga: Suit yourself. But a lot more pain will be wrought until we and our nexus Aztec are properly heard. 

 

Taga snaps her fingers and signals the other two to walk back.

 

Simon: The only good thing I guess is that for teaming with podcasters, she sure kept them quiet. 

 

Kendra: But I don't know why Only Aztecs In the Building suddenly thinks they're going to be taken any more seriously from injuring a baker and taking a championship from an International Treasure. 

 

 

Cut to backstage locker room, Aztec and Milo watching MAWL on a Television.

 

 

Aztec: 

"The truth has arrived."

 

 

Milo: 

"That sounded ominous."

 

Aztec: 

"It was meant to."

 

Milo: 

"I thought we were just watching the CWO Trios Champions match."

 

Aztec: 

"We were. Then Pinoy lost."

 

Milo: 

"And won."

 

Aztec: 

"That is not how losing works."

 

Milo: 

"In wrestling, it sometimes is."

 

Aztec: 

"Then wrestling is sick."

 

Milo: 

"That’s been statistically confirmed for years."

 

Aztec sits forward, eyes narrowed beneath the mask as the broadcast fades into static. Milo stands beside him, clutching his notes like they might protect him from whatever nonsense the wrestling multiverse has decided to cough up next.

 

Aztec: 

"El Verdad."

 

Milo: 

"The Truth."

 

Aztec: 

"Two redwoods with fists. Eliot Nestlemen and Zac Davis-East. They speak like mountains and fight like beasts."

 

Milo: 

"And apparently they are funded by Marvin Patel."

 

Aztec: 

"Pastel Postol."

 

Milo: 

"No."

 

Aztec: 

"Petey Pistol."

 

Milo: 

"Still no."

 

Aztec: 

"Marvin Patel."

 

Milo: 

"There it is. Took the scenic route, but we got there."

 

Aztec slowly shakes his head.

 

Aztec: 

"A waste of money."

 

Milo: 

"You do not even know their budget."

 

Aztec: 

"I know truth. Truth should not require investors."

 

Milo: 

"Most truths require sponsorship now. That’s capitalism. Humanity really swung for the fences and hit itself in the face."

 

Aztec: 

"El Verdad speaks loudly. But loud truth is often just a lie wearing boots."

 

Milo pauses, suddenly less amused.

 

Milo: 

"That was… actually kind of good."

 

Aztec: 

"I am ancient."

 

Milo: 

"You also called Marvin Patel ‘Pastel Postol’ thirty seconds ago."

 

Aztec reaches down beside his chair and pulls out a dark, writhing-looking sack marked with old symbols and something suspiciously snake-shaped shifting inside.

 

Milo’s smile dies instantly.

 

Milo: 

"No."

 

Aztec: 

"Yes."

 

Milo: 

"Absolutely not."

 

Aztec: 

"The Snake Sack has returned."

 

Milo: 

"We talked about this! No more sacks! Every time there is a sack, something gets cursed, swapped, stolen, or emotionally complicated."

 

Aztec: 

"This one is different."

 

Milo: 

"That is exactly what every haunted sack owner says before a referee disappears."

 

Aztec looks down at the sack as it twitches once.

 

Aztec: "The truth has arrived, Milo. And when truth arrives funded by fools, carried by giants, and born from a match where losing becomes victory…"

 

Milo: 

"Please don’t finish that sentence with the sack."

 

Aztec: 

"...one must bring snakes."

 

Milo: 

"I hate that this is wholesome for you.”

 

 

Simon: Snakes. Why's it always gotta be snakes. 

 

 

Jackson: So it sounds a bit like Aztec is less than thrilled with his representation, or at least the nature of its existence here. 

 

 

Kendra: I mean, possibly a bit for sure, but someone who has lasted beyond civilizations needs to understand how capitalism has grown and started to work, and that these spokesfolk wouldn't even have a chance to make it on the stage without a hand reaching out. So maybe, Aztec, you shouldn't be so judgy.

 

Jackson: You're looking to start a fight with Aztec?

 

Kendra: At this point I'm going to win a title here before he does.

 

Simon: You have learned nothing from Arvin's fight with Gozu. Anyway, let's get back into this card. 

 

 

Sheri: The following contest is an "I Quit" Match!

 

 

Boos shower on Zelda Gryphon as she makes a "CHI ETA" shout that very few echo onstage.

 

 

Sheri: FIRST! Representing Chi Eta Sorority and XHW, from Galaxadi, Greece, the "Angel of Olympus", Zelda "Zephyr" Gryphon!

 

Zelda cups her hands around her mouth as she walks down the ramp, trying to start a "CHI ETA" chant.

 

Jackson: This is the first time since being lured from her former partner and giving up her wings that she's going to need to face the consequence of that decision face to face. And far from being worried, she looks... confident. Very assured.

 

Simon: Easy to be that confident when you know you've got a whole team ready to fight for you at a moment's notice. 

 

Zelda jogs up the steps and hops the ropes into the ring. 

 

Kendra: Zelda was lured, but she chose to go full-in. People saw this as a sort of Patty Hearst Stockholm Syndrome, but Zelda dove in headfirst.

 

 

The lights go out save for one spotlight that goes to the top of the arena, which lands on Angelica. Angelica's wings extend and her arms raise out.

 

 

Sheri: And her opponent, Fallen from the Heavens, ANGELICA!!

 

Angelica descends into the ring. 

 

Jackson: It's the first time that the former Zephyr is seeing this from that vantage point, and I don't think she was prepared for the sheer awe of it. 

 

Zelda angrily yanks Angelica down before she fully descends and starts pounding on her. The bell rings!

 

Kendra: Zelda is showing Angelica the downside of having these big metal wings attached, and getting yanked down is already playing merry hell on Angelica's arms. Zelda playing to that strength and a surfboard variation pulling Angelica's arms all the way back. Angelica struggling to her feet, Zelda switching it up to a full nelson, Angelica struggling to power out of it again and realizing in real time that rope breaks aren't going to do much of much. 

 

Simon: Angelica switching up her techniques and powering to her feet, charging Zelda back into the turnbuckle, and back elbow to the ribs of Zelda! Irish whip Zelda across the pond, hits the diagonal corner, Angelica with the charge and Zelda leaps up to avoid! Angelica hits the pole! Zelda with a Deadly Night Shade! And just sitting on Angelica's back, pressing her face into the turnbuckle. 

 

Jackson: There's no 5 count here, there's no DQ, and Zelda's making full use of this, really now locking this in place wrapping her legs around Angelica's neck, Angelica flailing but refusing to give in, trying to regain use of her arms, grabbing at Zelda's legs and she has her hands pulling downward, smashes Zelda's face into the top turnbuckle.

 

Kendra: Angelica gets her up and into a sitout spinebuster! To the middle turnbuckle, diving forearm drop to the face. You can see the attempts at two different strategies here... Angelica is trying to keep a kinetic flow of fight going as she's blasting Zelda's face with intensifying forearms, where Zelda is an opportunist and finds the moments where she can manipulate and hurt and sneak in the right blow. 

 

Simon: Angelica can't give Zelda any of those opportunities. She scoops Zelda up and Samoan Drop. Taking the legs of Zelda, smart to have a little distance in that drag, to the corner and slingshot! Angelica rolling to the outside, grabbing Zelda's legs and we're gonna get some Bret Hart action here, Figure Four around the pole, Zelda flailing a bit and here comes the ref Lindy Tork to check in 

 

 

Lindy: Do you quit?

 

Zelda: No!

 

Kendra: Angelica tightens the hold and Zelda reaching for anything, gets her hands on the middle rope, PULLING HER WAIST BACK AND ANGELICA IS WISHBONED ON THE POLE! Zelda breaks free, quick hop up... Mushroom Stomps Angelica onto the steps!!! 

 

Jackson: She just wrecked her on the steps and that's gonna turn the tide of this match, Zelda to the apron and digging under the apron, she grabs a chair. I don't like what she has planned here... chair around the neck of Angelica, grabbing the legs of the chair, up and down! Slamming the chair into the steps and Angelica's neck with it! And another one! Up to the apron, and leaps down with a leg drop! 

 

Simon: The problem with this, is if you hurt the vocal box, you may risk her being able to say those two necessary words. 

 

Kendra: Somehow I think Zelda is fine exerting pain on her until she does. 

 

Jackson: But Lindy's going to check on her.

 

Lindy: Do you quit?

 

Angelica: No. 

 

Simon: Angelica trying to get the chair off her neck, Zelda back to the apron, Angelica frees herself in time, Zelda airballs on the steps, Angelica winding up with the chair, Zelda doesn't see it coming and WHAM! Angelica adapting deftly to the nature of the match.

 

Kendra: Zelda's bells are rung, Angelica pulls her up and we're going the long way... going past the apron taking her to the top turnbuckle, spinning sitout powerbomb from the top!! Truth Bomb right back onto the steps!!!! 

 

Lindy: Do you quit?

 

Zelda: No.

 

Jackson: It's going to take a whole lot more thrown at either of these women for them to acknowledge it's too far, and Angelica is going back under the apron to see what "too far" can be. 

 

Simon: Angelica finds a possible answer to the question, she's got a flamethrower!! Loading it up and-

 

 

Kendra: Sisterhood to the rescue!! The whole damn Sorority is charging down!! This is about to become a 10 on 1 absolute breakdown! 

 

 

Simon: HERE COME THE OTHER CAVALRY!! 

 

Kendra: Still 5 on 10, they're gonna need more than-

 

 

Simon: Def and Jared putting their feud aside for a moment, and charging the field, they're not even blinking... we've got a knockdown drag-out brawl down there and I can barely make heads or tails of who's down there... oh, but something is lowering? It appears to be a... cross? Not quite, more of an X....what the hell is happening, oh I see Angelica being passed along and some of those XH people are... fastening her to the X... I don't like this.

 

Zelda: What we're strapping you to? These are shock collars. 

 

The former Tinsel Towne, XTremely Hot, hold buttons and as the X starts rising up, they press them, emitting shocks that cause her to scream.

 

Angelica: I QUIT! I QUIT! 

 

Zelda Gryphon wins!

 

 

Sheri: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, ZELDA GRYPHON!!!

 

Zelda is lifted up by Chi Eta. 

 

Kendra: Zelda Gryphon has chosen wisely in throwing in with Chi Eta over Angelica. 

 

DA Jones comes to the apron with a mic. 

 

 

DA Jones: This... was unacceptable. Chi Eta, XHW, the fact that you thought you could come up in here in MY show and do a 10 on 1 jump... hell no. HELL no. SO here's what's gonna happen. Heart Condition. Gauntlet survivor tag, XHW against The Ocean, Def Jam, Jared Scythe, X-Treme Society, Angelica, and 3 people yet to be determined. And since we're talking about Heart Condition... I'm gonna ratchet up the difficulty a little bit. I'm feelin' like y'all wanna make things more intense, let's dance.

 

Kendra: What... is happening now?

 

DA Jones: We got a few extra competitors in our Beat the Clock Challenge. That's gonna start right now, once all of you get out of my ring. Well, almost all. Victoria Scythe, Percy Cute, you're gonna start this off.

 

 

Sheri: The following is the Beat the Clock Challenge!! Our first two competitors: Victoria Scythe and Percy Cute!

 

 

The bell rings!

 

Simon: And neither of these women were expecting to be part of this, but it looks like the Scythe and XHW fight is gonna propel the action even further here. Victoria going for the quick Queen Cutter but Percy lets her fly on her own, Victoria lands hard on her back, Percy gets her with a leg drop. 

 

Kendra: Victoria Scythe potentially still has a tag rumble later but she has to get through this first, Percy takes a run and big elbow drop. Percy takes a jump for a falling headbutt and Victoria sees her coming! Didn't quit while she was ahead, and her head eats it. 

 

Jackson: Percy kicks at her ankle quickly, and a second one with a little more force. Percy chops at the spot once more and to her feet, but Victoria snaps her right back down with a suplex and bridging pin-spin by Percy to reverse the pin-

 

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Kendra: Victoria back to her feet, OH DAMN A POWERBOMB TO PERCY CUTE. Gets her by the waist, Victoria with the gutwrench suplex, quick stomp to follow up and follows that with a rib kick.

 

Jackson: Victoria is all smiles outside the ring, but all business inside it. And we're crossing the first minute, Dragon Leg Screw with Monster force by Percy and Victoria lands on her knee roughly. Percy running back, going for the Chop Block OH and Victoria able to evade and kicks Percy in the back of the head. Leg sweep by Percy, Victoria rolls back and right up, deadlift German. Percy quickly back to his feet, charging Victoria into the corner!! Out to the Apron, up to the top and pulling Victoria up and I think we could well be getting.... the... Avalanche Backflip Fisherman Suplex!!! PERSECUTION COMPLEX!!! Going for the pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO!

 

Simon: VICTORIA KICKS! Percy can't believe it!!

 

Kendra: I can't believe it!

 

Simon: Percy gets Victoria by the hair and runs her into the post. Victoria with a back kick to Percy's midsection pushing her away, but that only gives Percy a reach of her leg and slams her down! Victoria kips up and Pele Kick! Percy stumbles back, Victoria taking the run and going for the Springboard Moonsault and those Knees up by Percy! We are now 2 minutes in! Percy taking the run now, OH VICTORIA IS UP AND THERE'S THAT CATCH SPINEBUSTER! VICTORIA GOING FOR THE PIN AND PERCY REVERSES AGAIN! 

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Percy Cute wins in 2:17!

 

Percy Cute 2:17

 

Sheri: Your first winner, Percy Cute!

 

Jackson: Well, Percy... love her, hate her... she's set the standard. 2:17 is the first one on the board, so 5 people will have to beat that time to get Percy Cute away from Heart Condition.

 

Kendra: I get the sense that DA wanted to teach her a lesson, and that backfired on her greatly. The former Super Cool may have just been rewarded for her bad behavior. 

 

Simon: So who's next?

 

 

Kendra: LOOK WHO IT IS, IT'S COLE ST. PIERRE! OR, AS HE'S CALLED HERE AND NOW, COLE S.P.!

 

Simon: Ugh, I wondered what that smell was. Mara Vicious slaps the cigarette right out of his mouth, Cole responds with a short-arm lariat that absolutely flips her! Mara attempts a basement sweep, Cole jumps it and kicks her in the face. Mara rolls behind him, Low Blow and Poison Rana! 

 

Kendra: Cole doesn't stay down and Inverted Suplex! Going for a pin but Mara doesn't give him the one. 

 

Jackson: Mara hits a jumping bulldog! And a quick rough roll-up, but Cole returns the no count. Cole to his feet and a midsection punch! Mara doubles over, Cole with an axe kick! Cole gets to the top rope... and as we cross the minute mark, 450 Splash and going for a pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Cole SP wins in 1:12!

 

Cole S.P. 1:12

Percy Cute 2:17

 

Sheri: Your second winner, Cole SP!

 

Simon: Cole did it in slightly more than half the time of Percy, and made a real good case for himself in this Beat the Clock Challenge.

 

Kendra: Mara Vicious should probably have done some more time in GHW.

 

Jackson: Probably. Let's see who comes through that door next.

 

 

Simon: The All-American American against the Indigenous Sellout Jingoistic American.

 

Jackson: JP runs right at Cheyenne and starts off with a neckbreaker. Wasting no time, follows up with a snap suplex. Cheyenne up, leaps over the Hit Stick, grabs his trunks and hair well that's rude...and a running Inverted Front Slam! Gold Rush!! Going for the pin-

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Kendra: JP kicks, delaying the inevitable honestly. 

 

Simon: Maybe more than that, he blocks the chop and gets the headbutt, and another.  Cheyenne staggering a little bit back but Inverted Atomic Drop cuts JP's momentum off. Only for a second though, Belly to Belly gets JP right back in the game. Cheyenne trying for the low blow, JP catches her hand with his legs and that's gonna sting a bit. 

 

Kendra: You know everyone in the back saying "You can do that?"

 

Jackson: So she answers with a southpaw lariat. She's got one good hand and she's gonna use it, a stiff punch to Spears. 

 

Simon: Keeps the momentum going with a chop. Left the arm out a little too long and JP with an arm drag. Cheyenne digs into her tights but seems to come up empty handed as we pass the minute mark.

 

Jackson: The fist looks a little bigger to me, you don't see it?

 

Kendra: STIFF PUNCH to JP Spears and she goes for the pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Cheyenne wins in 1:12!

 

Cole S.P. 1:12

Cheyenne 1:12

Percy Cute 2:17

 

Sheri: Your third winner, Cheyenne!

 

Simon: Cheyenne ties Cole's spot and Percy's once unimpeachable time is looking a little less so.

 

Kendra: Welp, JP once again gets his spot blown up. He's his own worst enemy.

 

Jackson: This is going to cause people to try to ratchet up their efforts to get under that minute mark. 

 

 

Kendra: Tamara runs Randi over with a Spinebuster. Randi responds with a face punch, a couple more and a snap DDT. 

 

Simon: Tamara rolls back up, grabs Randi by the legs and giant swing. Oh, Randi's head hits the buckle! But she rolls back and pop up neckbreaker. And she goes full cheerleader mode pumping the crowd up!!

 

Jackson: Randi don't play to them, don't take your eyes off Tamara, oh no here she comes and she's got the dragon headlock in!! Up we go....and MODDDDDDY DHOOOOO!!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Tamara Rivers wins in 0:45!

 

Tamara Rivers 0:45

Cole S.P. 1:12

Cheyenne 1:12

Percy Cute 2:17

 

Sheri: Your fourth winner, Tamara Rivers!!

 

Jackson: Ratcheting achieved.

 

Kendra: We're already up to our fifth fight, so whatever happens next is going to set the tone of what's to come. If the winner gets under 2:17 then 2:17 is going to be the gate for what comes after.

 

Simon: That's right Kendra. Which means this is the last match that is guaranteed not to go to time limit draw.

 

 

Kendra: Alfos right in with a chop, grabs Yancy by the throat and ONE BANG!!

 

Jackson: That could have been it, but Yancy rolls before Alfos can get the pin. 

 

Simon: Yancy A Yarburn was a local talent who'd stuck it out and has been rather impressive in house shows, but Alfos almost took him back to his jobbin' days right there. Alfos trying it again with the throat grab, Yancy gets his arm wrapped around Alfos and reverses into a Tornado DDT!! Going for a quick pin-

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Kendra: Alfos reversing the pin!!

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Jackson: Yancy kicks. He doesn't want to be a footnote anymore, and surviving a One Bang is a good way to achieve that.

 

Kendra: Yancy with a whip NO! It's a Ripcord and I think we're getting the Hammerlock DDT! YES! YARSTICK!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Yancy A Yarburn wins in 0:41!

 

Yancy A. Yarburn 0:41

Tamara Rivers 0:45

Cole S.P. 1:12

Cheyenne 1:12

Percy Cute 2:17

 

Sheri: Your fifth winner, Yancy A. Yarburn!!

 

Jackson: Not only did he get under 2:17, he got the fastest time so far! A "local" no more!

 

Kendra: Percy Cute right now is on the bubble. A faster time than 2:17 means she's out, a slower time is a draw.

 

Simon: And that's liable to only get worse as others take these spots. 

 

 

Simon: Time to beat, 2:17.

 

Kendra: And the former romance cover model Rogelio starts in with an open-hand chop, leaves the hand out too long and Abdominal Stretch locked in!! 

 

Jackson: Submissions aren't necessarily the smartest moves when trying to beat a clock, Rogelio struggling in it but able to get enough control of his body to push them both back, back to belly lateral press pin! 

 

Jackson: ONE! TWO!

 

Simon: Wolf reverses it in the nick of time!!

 

Jackson: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Wolfgunblud wins in 0:30!

 

Wolfgunblud 0:30

Yancy A. Yarburn 0:41

Tamara Rivers 0:45

Cole S.P. 1:12

Cheyenne 1:12

 

Sheri: Your next winner, Wolfgunblud!!

 

Jackson: Beats Yancy's time by 11 seconds. 

 

Kendra: Everyone in the back is freaking out now, as the fifth time just dropped a whole minute and change with that win.

 

Simon: Cheyenne will be pushed off before Cole, as she received that time second. So really 1:11 is going to be necessary to get on the board. 

 

 

Kendra: Pitta with a pair of bionic elbows to Eyan, Eyan pulls the arm and yanks Pitta up... we're goin' spinnin!!!

 

Simon: BIG BANG BADDDDA BOOOOM!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Big Eyan wins in 0:24!

 

Big Eyan 0:24

Wolfgunblud 0:30

Yancy A. Yarburn 0:41

Tamara Rivers 0:45

Cole S.P. 1:12

 

Sheri: Your next winner, Big Eyan!!

 

Simon: Everyone just continually stepping up to the challenge. 

 

Kendra: The 4th spot is under a minute, so should Cole slide off the line, this is just gonna get so much worse.

 

Jackson: I'm genuinely curious who will be the first ignoble pair to draw.

 

 

Kendra: Stephy leaping downward for an avalanche poison rana and a pin! 

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Jackson: JCM REVERSES!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

JCM Ace wins in 0:17!

 

JCM Ace 0:17

Big Eyan 0:24

Wolfgunblud 0:30

Yancy A. Yarburn 0:41

Tamara Rivers 0:45

 

Sheri: Your next winner, JCM Ace!!

 

Simon: We've officially gotten to the place where it's now going to be under a minute required. 

 

Kendra: Cole is out of the picture for this now.

 

Jackson: Everyone going for the quick win now. 

 

 

Simon: Winna with a belly to belly suplex! Quick run, and elbow drop! Stomp to keep it going, and a second, Ace Anarchy really in trouble. 

 

Jackson: Winna with a front slam, and Ace Anarchy seems further and further away from a victory, oh but he snaps up and Fisherman Suplex!! 

 

Carter: ONE! TWO!

 

Kendra: Winna kicks, this might be the first draw. She gets him up for the Babe Bomb... oh but two long and it's a draw. 

 

Simon: Doesn't stop her from dropping him.

 

Time limit draw.

 

JCM Ace 0:17

Big Eyan 0:24

Wolfgunblud 0:30

Yancy A. Yarburn 0:41

Tamara Rivers 0:45

 

Sheri: This has resulted in a time limited draw.

 

Jackson: I didn't think it'd be these two.

 

Kendra: There's likely to be more of this.

 

Simon: And so we move along.

 

 

Jackson: Urijah with a quick roll-up on Zugaikotsu but naturally a kick-up, a kip-up, and Urijah eats an enzuigiri. Zugaikotsu with an elevated Skull Crushing Finale, the Kotsu Krush, and going right for the pin!

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Kendra: Urijah with the shoulder up, scoop up and God's Fiery Smite!! That rolling burning hammer!! Zugai rolls away from the pin, Urijah kicks him. Zugai tries to kick him back, but caught in a Samoan Drop, going for the cover-no pin. The two see where the clock is, and shake hands as they know there's no shot.

 

Time limit draw.

 

JCM Ace 0:17

Big Eyan 0:24

Wolfgunblud 0:30

Yancy A. Yarburn 0:41

Tamara Rivers 0:45

 

Sheri: This has resulted in a time limited draw.

 

Jackson: That 45 second stop time is gonna be a hard wall to climb.

 

Simon: We have heavy hitters coming up though so if anyone can do it... 

 

Kendra: I guess we'll see, won't we. 

 

 

Simon: XEL jumping right in arms outstretched!! NOVA ASCENSION DOUBLE KNEE!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

XEL wins in 0:17!

 

JCM Ace 0:17

XEL 0:17

Big Eyan 0:24

Wolfgunblud 0:30

Yancy A. Yarburn 0:41

 

Sheri: Your next winner, XEL!

 

Kendra: Well great. All the women are knocked off now. 

 

Simon: Still a lot of em in the coming matches.

 

Jackson: And something else to note is XEL saved us from another title being smelted or thrown into the water or whatever Nero cooks up.

 

 

Simon: High Flyer jumping in and playing the same song as XEL, that Eclipse Stunner he calls Monotone!! Let's see if it plays the same way! Oh, Aggie immediately rolling to his feet, a little dazed but not pinnable. 

 

Kendra: Mono takes the run against the rope and shotgun dropkick! Aggie pushed back but shoots forward with a forearm shot to knock Mono on his back, and a cover attempt-

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Jackson: Mono kicks out, and a spinning wheel kick. Mono to the top... and he's waiting to get the Monotone again, Aggie clearly taking his time to get up and burn out the clock... Monotone connects but it is too late!

 

Time limit draw.

 

JCM Ace 0:17

XEL 0:17

Big Eyan 0:24

Wolfgunblud 0:30

Yancy A. Yarburn 0:41

 

Sheri: This match ends in a time limit draw.

 

Kendra: Can't make lightning strike twice.

 

Simon: 41 seconds now is feeling more and more out of reach.

 

Jackson: Stranger things though. And we're halfway through the matches here.

 

 

Kendra: Lesnar with a right jab to Tragedeigh. Tragedeigh spins Lesnar around and Director's Cut!! Going for a pin, and Lesnar reverses...

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Lesnar wins in 0:17!

 

JCM Ace 0:17

XEL 0:17

Lesnar 0:17

Big Eyan 0:24

Wolfgunblud 0:30

 

Sheri: The next winner, Lesnar!

 

 

DA: Alright, alright... so here's the deal. At this rate, the matches are going to be 30 seconds at most. That's not gonna be interestin' to this crowd here. And it was informed to me that there are two tiebreakers from the previous days' Fatal Four Suits Gauntlets. Here's what we're gonna do. First, we are ending the Beat the Clock, which means that the 5 spots will go to JCM Ace, Big Eyan, Lesnar, Wolfgunblud, and XEL.

 

The remaining people will combine with the tiebreaker people into a Rumble. You know we love our Rumbles here. The person with the most eliminations and the winner will get those two spots.

 

 

Sheri: The following is our first Rumble of the night! The individuals who are randomly selected by one and two be prepared to enter! Every 90 seconds, a new individual will enter based on the number you are randomly assigned! HERE IS... NUMBER 1!

 

 

Through plumes of black smoke, Zymora walks onto the stage, hands behind her back and an evilly impish smirk.

 

 

Sheri: First, representing Estraga Corporation, from Staten Island, New York, ZYMORA!! 

 

Zymora saunters down the ramp, exuding mean girl energy. She rolls into the ring to continued boos.

 

Sheri: And now, the individual who drew number 2!

 

 

As his theme music plays over the PA system, James holds back until the song kicks in and then makes his way out from behind the curtain.

 

 

Sheri: From New York, New York, weighing in at 190 pounds...the most INTERESTING MAN in the WORLD... JAMES D!!

 

As he moves into the sight of the fans, he's met with boos but this just brings a smile to his face. The boos continue to rain down towards James but it doesn't phase him as he makes his way down the ramp. James rolls into the ring and then stands in the corner as he awaits the bell. 

 

The bell rings!

 

Kendra: Zymora with a quick chop to James D. James responds with a most devastating boot, Zymora tumbles over the ropes but just barely holds on. Springs back and James catches her out with a neckbreaker!

 

Jackson: And barely even paying attention as he stomps her, and another stomp right to her neck. Off the ropes, hits her with a running senton. Trying for another and Zymora hits him with a monkey flip, James goes flying and just barely misses going to the other side of the ropes. 

 

Simon: James scrambling to his feet, I think he might be setting himself up to get knocked out and Zymora clotheslines him, over the apron he goes, he keeps his footing and tries to drag her over but she holds tight. 

 

Kendra: He's not giving up though, and finally pulls her over.... running back.... blasts her with a D Stroyer Knee! She staggers and it looks like she might go over, one foot off the apron.... SHE'S STILL ABLE TO HOLD! But it's clearly for dear life!

 

Jackson: Zymora gets her footing, grabs James from the hair and runs him into the pole NO he blocks and smashes her head into it!

 

Simon: There's still the entire rest of the rumble to go and these two are absolutely going ham hock on each other. James smashes her head into the post again. 

 

Kendra: Zymora blocks the third smash and jawbreaker to James. And this is going to bring us to the first countdown!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Zymora rolls into the ring, James not far behind. Kross scoops James up from the roll-in and Piledriver! Kicks him in the ribs right after.

 

Jackson: Kid Kross clearly has some lingering anger at James D that's at least a year long. 

 

Kendra: Zymora getting some of that smoke too, Kid drops her with a DDT. Zymora back to her feet and gives him a back suplex. 

 

Simon: She's a little close to the ropes though, James has it lined up and D STROYER KNEE!!! 

 

Jackson: Zymora hits the outside... but she lands on one foot, and crawls back onto the apron. STILL in this!!

 

Kendra: James is flabbergasted and turns around.... KROSS HITS HIM WITH THE DROPKICK! JAMES D IS OUTTA HERE!!!

 

James D is eliminated by Kid Kross! (1)

 

Jackson: Zymora springboards in and dropkick right back to Kross! Lifting Kross up... going for a Stalling Suplex and drops Kid Kross out OH BUT KROSS TUCKS HIS LEGS! HE'S STILL IN THIS!

 

Simon: Kross pops up and guillotines Zymora onto the rope, and we're gonna go into a Countdown.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Here comes Keta Rush!

 

Kendra: Oh great, more high horse. Taking a run at full speed, springboard off the ropes, triangulated dropkick sends Zymora spiraling over the ropes, lands on the apron, somehow still holding on!! Just barely, and she's clearly busted up. Keta charges her again, Zymora pulls the rope and Keta is out of the equation!!! Hell yeah!!

 

Keta Rush is eliminated by Zymora! (1)

 

Jackson: Kross not giving her the chance to get back in, running dropkick, knocks her off the apron and she's out NO!! SHE TUCKED HER FEET UP!!! SHE IS SURVIVING ALL ODDS!!

 

Simon: She rolls in, going for a rolling basement kick but Kross jumps it and kicks her on the landing. Kross getting frustrated, he gets her by the hair and launches her over the ropes!!! 

 

Zymora is eliminated by Kid Kross! (2)

 

Kendra: We've got about 55 seconds before-

 

The arena is buzzing—lights sweeping wildly over a packed crowd, noise rolling like a wave from section to section. Anticipation hangs thick in the air.

The camera pulls back… then slowly zooms toward the massive screen at the top of the ramp.

The lights slam to black.

The crowd reacts instantly.

Silence.

Then—

 

 

“Die Young” by Kesha hits.
Kesha - Die Young (Lyrics)

 

The screen stays pitch black.

Suddenly, neon colors ignite across the screen, sharp and electric, pulsing like a city at midnight as the lyrics flash into view.

 

Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone

The neon flickers to the beat.

So while you're here in my arms

The crowd starts to move.

Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young

The bass rattles the arena.

(Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-whoa) we're gonna die young

The colors surge brighter.

(Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-whoa) we're gonna die young (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-whoa)

Hands rise in the crowd.

Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young

The screen pulses faster.

Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young

Energy spikes.

Young hearts, out our minds, runnin' 'til we outta time

Quick cuts to the crowd—smiles, shouts, chaos.

Wild child's, lookin' good, livin' hard just like we should

The neon streaks across the screen.

Don't care whose watching when we tearing it up (you know)

The beat hits harder.

That magic that we got nobody can touch (for sure)

The colors flare.

Looking for some trouble tonight (yeah)

The arena roars.

Take my hand, I'll show you the wild side

The screen shakes subtly with the bass.

Like it's the last night of our lives (uh-huh)

Momentum builds.

We'll keep dancing 'til we die

The lights strobe.

I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums

The crowd is fully locked in.

Oh, what a shame that you came here with someone

The neon dims, then surges.

So while you're here in my arms

A final swell of sound.

Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young

The screen blazes.

(Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-whoa) we're gonna die young

The music peaks.

(Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-whoa) we're gonna die young (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-whoa)

Then—

Let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young

The music cuts out.

The screen at the top of the ramp goes completely black.

A heartbeat.

Then one final phrase burns onto the screen in the same neon colors, bold and unmistakable.

TRUST US

 

The crowd picks back up.

 

Jackson: There's an eerie familiarity to these little tricks.

 

Kendra: And even the timekeepers were transfixed.

 

Simon: But we're getting that time count now.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Jackson: Kross trying not to be shaken by what just occurred, which is what I think is all of us.

 

Kendra: Able to shake it off by the time Ishani comes in, and right into a huracanrana!

 

Simon: Ishani quick to her feet, and headscissor takedown. 

 

Jackson: Keeping his head in the scissor, raising her legs up and a slam down!! She pulls up again, Kross plants his feet and gets her by the waist... wheelbarrow facebusters her right to the outside!! 

 

Kendra: Brutal to the face, but the legs remain in the air, and with an Olympic level Gymnast can handle it no problem. She gets the handstand going KROSS WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE TO KNOCK HER OVER BUT SHE HOLDS TIGHT!

 

Simon: He's trying it again, she pops up and tries to pull him over, no go. She's gonna do that with a handstand now... gets the legs around Kross's neck and PULLS HIM RIGHT OVER AND HE ROLLS, BUT ABLE TO TUCK HIS KNEES IN! Ishani rolls into the ring, Kross kips up and stays in as he gets to the apron... she hits a cartwheel and Pele kicks him before he can get into the ropes! 

 

Jackson: Kid Kross lands hard on his head, but importantly his feet are still in the air, KROSS KIPS UP AND BACK IN!

 

Kendra: Ishani ready for him and Spanish Fly! And here we go with the countdown clock...

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Ishani keeping the pressure on Kid with a moonsault! Kross kips up and backhand chop to Prop, but Ishani will not be denied and sleeper slam to Kid.

 

Kendra: Ishani WILL be denied, because Prop has Kross up and Exploder Suplex right to the outside!! KROSS SURVIVES AGAIN!

 

Jackson: Kid Kross rolls into the ring and lariat to Ishani. Picks her up, going for a suplex and Prop joins him.... NO! Ishani lands on her feet and donks their heads together. Kross gets up first, prepping Prop, and superkicks him over the ropes, Prop holds on tight and pulls Kross over... Kross runs him into the post and out of this match!!

 

Propaganda is eliminated by Kid Kross! (3)

 

Simon: Back to Kross and Ishani as she gets him with a series of knife-edge chops, and guillotine!! He drops down onto the apron and rolls back into the ring and away from danger. Back to his feet and a Samoan Drop to Ishani as we hit the countdown clock!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: It just got funky in here!!

 

Kendra: Kid Kross clearly not a fan of disco music, there's the springboard into a Kross Town Frown pushing her right over the edge, she barely holds on! He does it again, this time to Ishani, and this time he's successful!!

 

Ishani is eliminated by Kid Kross! (4)

 

Jackson: Kid Kross right now is an early favorite to get the most eliminations. Kid Kross looking to continue his dominance, piledriver to Mirrorball, scooping her up for a Samoan Drop!! Fist drop, then a knee drop to her head! That looked rough. He goes again, she moves her head out of the way, Kross lands her knee and Mirror has an opening for some offense for the first time! Lifting him up...running Inverted Atomic Drop and clothesline, KROSS IS OUTTA HERE!

 

Kid Kross is eliminated by Mirrorball! (1)

 

Simon: The disco ball is coming down, and Mirrorball is gonna give us a half minute Disco Break!

 

Her theme song plays for a bit, and a bit of shimmying and shaking takes us to the countdown!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Kendra: Mirrorball back body drops Lottie right from jump! She cleared that hair, that's impressive! 

 

Simon: Mirrorball taking a running leg drop. Lottie with a judo arm flip, and takes Mirrorball out of the equation!!

 

Mirrorball is eliminated by Lottie Axo! (1)

 

Jackson: Lottie got it done with a whole minute remaining.

 

Kendra: While we await number 9, let's run down some of what's to come. 

 

Simon: Pretty much all of Anti-System has a title to defend after having won them away from Marvin Patel's Waves of Pain. SM's got Physio Joker surrounded in a Lumberjack Title to defend his Inferno Title, which may give him a chance to get payback for Joker's win against him in his first showing here. Mansin will look to get his title back from Danielle Fishel after Holiday Hellscape, and of course there's the main reason for this whole thing, the tournament... we can go into that in detail more but we're about to get the countdown clock ringing in Number 9.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: This is the newer iteration of the Red Ghost, the one who used to hold the title I think is just fighting under his given name now. 

 

Jackson: Lottie doesn't care what version he is, she knees him right in the ribs. Red doubled over, Lottie picks him up for a Powerbomb and sends him over the edge but he just hits the apron and able to avoid sliding onto the floor.

 

Kendra: She goes over to finish the job but he's already up and pokes her in the eyes. She grabs his head and guillotine! He drops but still on the apron and rolls back in. She attempts to kick him back but only gets him a little bruised.

 

Simon: He's back to his feet and immediately eats a jumping roundhouse kick. She goes to lift him up, he punches at her, and a chop to her ribs as he fully rises to his feet. She goes for a punch, block and throat chop by Ghost! She gives it right back to him, and he responds by judo flipping her.

 

Kendra: Colin would always point out and I can't believe I'm agreeing with him that one of the worst things you can do is not retract your limbs fast enough after an attack, because you leave yourself open. That was the big mistake here and it might cost Lottie. 

 

Jackson: I don't think she's too worried about it as she lands quickly and arm wringer flip right over the ropes, Red scoots but lands on his feet, tries to pull Lottie over but she pushes him out successfully!! 

 

Red Ghost is eliminated by Lottie Axo! (2)

 

Simon: Kid Kross is right now leading the elimination count with 4, and if Lottie buckles down she can pass that. Still a large stretch of land to go.

 

Kendra: It would be a good bit of news for Lottie Axo, who was screwed out of the Endocytosis Match that she'd won in the White Elephant.

 

Jackson: Well, we're only a few seconds away from finding out who number 10 is and seeing if she can continue to build her momentum.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Kendra: DX goes to leap in and Lottie catches him, quick drop into a spinebuster. Going for a fist drop, he rolls out of the way and she lands on her hand.

 

Jackson: Doesn't keep her down too long though, she rolls to her feet and Full Nelson Suplex to DX. DX back to his feet quickly and a chop, gets her up on his shoulder and going for the Samoan Drop, and down on her back she goes. Knocks her over the rope... KISS OF DEATH AND DOWN SHE GOES!

 

Lottie Axo is eliminated by DX Royal! (1)

 

Simon: And Lottie's run comes to a close.

 

Jackson: Kid Kross remains in the elimination count top spot, but we're only a quarter done. 

 

Kendra: And DX is here alone for the next 45 sec-

 

 

Simon: WHO THE HELL IS THIS!!

 

Jackson: Appears we have a surprise entrant! He's not on the list, but it looks like DA isn't too keen on giving people more rest after that video interruption.

 

Kendra: The big man comes lumbering after DX, DX ducks him easily and leg lariat sends the big man to the ground. Mr. Happy to his feet, holding onto the rope DX KICKS HIM OVER THE ROPES... KISS OF DEATH!!!

 

Mr. Happy is eliminated by DX Royal! (2)

 

Simon: Well, that was a pointless interruption. 

 

Mr. Happy throws a temper tantrum at the side... until DX's women start giving him attention. This begins to irritate DX as Mr. Happy dances with them. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

Kendra: T. Krip takes advantage of DX's distraction, shoulder tackles him over the ropes and DX is outta here!

 

DX Royal is eliminated by T. Krip! (1)

 

Kendra: DX and Mr. Happy are going at it outside, Mr. Happy tackles DX Royal into the barricade and is just unloading on him! DX pulling at his mask and throwing fists. T. Krip rolls under the ropes - remember, you can only get eliminated going over the top rope - and reaching for tables but I'm sure we're gonna get more surp-

 

 

Simon: That's just insulting.

 

Jackson: Krip just punts Sad Sack Mack, Sack bounces into the low turnbuckle and right back, and Krip kicks him again. Krip kicks him a third time but this time upward and spikes him right back down. T. Krip lifts Sad Sack up and throws him like a shot put right out of the ring! 

 

Sad Sack Mack is eliminated by T. Krip! (2)

 

Kendra: Still a minute before our next scheduled entrant, will they let T. Krip just ride this minute out or are we going to get another-

 

 

Kendra: MAD SACK FROM THE TOP ROPE DROPKICK TO KRIP AND HE STUMBLES OUT... BUT HE SAVES HIMSELF JUST BARELY!!

 

Simon: He steps in and Mad Sack with a running headbutt to the side of his kneecap! Takes another run and dropkick to that kneecap, T. Krip stumbling and Mad Sack trying to lift up by the legs but only causes slightly more irritation. 

 

Jackson: His own irritation causes him to bite T. Krip in the leg! Krip stumbles, Mad Sack running and cannonball senton attack!! HE ACTUALLY KNOCKS T. KRIP OUT!!!

 

T. Krip is eliminated by Mad Sack Jack! (1)

 

Kendra: Only 15 seconds to go before the countdown, I don't think we're gonna get another person. 

 

Simon: I think you're probably right, and sure enough, Mad Sack is just staring at the entrance seeing no one come out there and growling at an empty doorway.

 

Jackson: I do wonder who else DA could possibly have up his sleeve, but I'm sure that T. Krip is pissed about losing to a little man. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Mad Sack off the ropes, Cody steps into the ropes and there's that cannonball senton again, Cody wobbles at the ropes but barely manages to hold on.

 

Kendra: Mad Sack with a sweep kick, and manages a back body drop but to the center of the ring! That may have cost him and Cody grabs him, we're going back to the Olympics but this time it's more Hammer Throw!! Mad Sack holds on, Cody chases him and Mad Sack gets him with a huracanrana!!! 

 

Cody Cobalt is eliminated by Mad Sack Jack! (2)

 

Jackson: Little man's got a little too much time on his hands, that can only mean...

 

 

Simon: Cody's partner Cybastian coming to avenge Cody, boot to the face of Mad Sack. Picking Mad Sack up by the neck and chokeslams him out of the ring, but Mad Sack doesn't move past the apron and remains in this one, Cybastian attempts to kick him off the apron but no go.

 

Kendra: Mad Sack rolls in and Sebastian stomps his head! Picks him up, Goalie Kicks him right out of this match!

 

Mad Sack Jack is eliminated by Cybastian Cyan! (1)

 

Jackson: No one able to cross that 4 line by Kid Kross yet. We're only a little away from the next person. Cyan wasn't supposed to be here, but now that he is, let's see if he can succeed where his partner didn't.

 

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

 

 

Kendra: Battle of the blues, and Skye coming right in with a dropkick to push back on Cy. Cy to his feet with a chop, Skye with a hammer throw, coming with the charge and there's that jumping knee!! OH Cy keeps his feet planted on the apron and remains in this one! 

 

Simon: She hits that Swinging Neckbreaker on Cy!! And down he goes!!!

 

Cybastian Cyan is eliminated by Skye Blue! (1)

 

Jackson: Well, almost a minute left, and we know that Skye Blue made her share of enemies and-

 

 

Jackson: Looks like some payback is coming Skye's way, Miss Carol the former partner of the once Miss Cris who is now our champion. Carol starting right out with a spinning wheel kick, Skye back up to her feet and goes for a swinging lariat, Carol ducks with a split and a knee to the midsection.

 

Kendra: Quick chop by Skye to start answering back, but Carol grabs her arm and back body drop and Skye over the ropes, able to catch a grab of the bottom rope and keep herself in. 

 

Simon: Carol charging to knock her off, Skye swings herself in and huracanrana takes Miss Carol out of the equation!

 

Miss Carol is eliminated by Skye Blue! (2)

 

Jackson: And the countdown is right around the corner-

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Kendra: Skye waits for Kendry to step over the ropes and Skye blasts her right back out with a Shining Wizard!! SEE YA!!

 

Kendry Kruel is eliminated by Skye Blue! (3)

 

Jackson: Skye Blue eyeing that most eliminations spot, and she eliminated Kendry quickly enough to get another body in.

 

 

Jackson: A different story here, Kacy right in with a running jumping forearm catching Skye in the face. Grabbing Skye by the hair and CHARGES her into a turnbuckle face first! 

 

Simon: Kacy hits a piledriver on Skye, just keeping on top of her, up onto Kacy's shoulder and release bodyslam sends Skye out of the equation right before she's able to cross that 4 threshold! 

 

Skye Blue is eliminated by Kacy Kruel! (1)

 

Kendra: And still 40-some seconds to go, which makes me think we're probably gonna get-

 

 

Kendra: Yep, a Sex Appeal member.

 

Jackson: Kacy greets her with a tornado DDT. Bianca bounces back up, goes for the arm drag but Kacy lands short of the other side of the ropes.

 

Simon: Bianca blasts her with a Spear and a fist drop to her. As the countdown clicks in, Kacy back body drops Bianca right out of the ring!!

 

Bianca Diaz is eliminated by Kacy Kruel! (2)

 

...1!

 

 

Jackson: Kacy comes in and greets Max with a low blow kick! Max up and tries to push her over the edge but she doesn't go. Max attempts to punch but she blocks and slaps back. She goes in more with some chops, and a throat punch. 

 

Simon: Max fights back with a belly to belly, Kacy pulls herself up on the ropes and Max with a running cross body to knock her over!! He succeeds!!

 

Kacy Kruel is eliminated by Max Matthews! (1)

 

Kendra: Are we getting more Kruel representation here?

 

 

Kendra: Yep. Former Nikita Knight or Thea Hail depending on where you know her. 

 

Jackson: Max doesn't care what she was called, just how easy she is to launch out, Kitti steps over and Max Power Slaps her right over the ropes again, and that'll do ya!

 

Kitti Kruel is eliminated by Max Matthews! (2)

 

Simon: Who else does Kruel have there?

 

 

Jackson: The former Sol Ruca, the new grist for the mill as it were. Max Power Slaps again, Kallix over the ropes but NO! She holds on.

 

Kendra: She jumps in but Max catches her and backbreaker! He leaps up and an elbow drop! Pulling Kallix up and going for the Front Slam over the ropes as we get to under 10 seconds... SHE TUCKS HER LEGS AS SHE GOES OUT! SHE'S STILL IN IT!

 

...3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Back to 3 for the first time since Kid Kross got dumped officially 8 spots back. Maybe this will stop this spread of surprise entrants. 

 

Jackson: Aabria hits a tilt-a-whirl neckbreaker on Max. Oh, she may have miscalculated her landing though, and she is dangerously close to the ropes, Matthews with the cross body sends her out of this one all too quick!

 

Aabria is eliminated by Max Matthews! (3)

 

Kendra: Kallix tries to take advantage of his body being by the ropes and goes for a run, he judo flips her right on outta here! You jinxed it, Simon!

 

Kallix Kruel is eliminated by Max Matthews! (4)

 

Simon: Matthews ties up Kid Kross for falls, and one more can put him in a really good place here. 

 

 

Jackson: I'm told this is the last Kruel member here tonight besides Kiri, who is scheduled some point in this rumble. So once Krissy is out, it becomes more of a surprise.

 

Kendra: And if Max is eliminated before another fall, Kross would still get the in as the first person to reach 4. Max needs at least one more elimination to be in a good spot. 

 

Simon: Max goes for that Power Slap to try to wrap this up... NO! Krissy gets his hand before impact... pulling into a Hammerlock and DDT! Max rolls up to his feet and gets a backhand chop on Krissy. Krissy responds with a Discus Lariat!

 

Kendra: She's probably the toughest one that Kruel currently has on their roster, and Max would do well not to underestimate her. 

 

Jackson: He gets back to his feet, scoops her up for a Backbreaker. Off the ropes, and a Splash! Coming off the ropes again... monster leg drop! He's knowing to weaken her up a bit, and we're gonna be taken to number 17.

 

7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Max takes an opportunity to get a Middle Rope Senton in on Krissy. Smart move only going to the middle.

 

Jackson: Turns his attentions to Slang now and a scoop slam. Slang bounces up fairly quickly, going to hit a deadlift on Krissy... no! Possum DDT. Krissy doesn't have much time to rest, Max gets her up in a suplex hold and putting a little stall action on it... Slang springboard dropkick to Krissy and NOW Max drops her down. Slang gets Krissy up on his shoulders... we're goin' SPINNING! 

 

Kendra: HE DANG-A-SLANG SLAMS HER RIGHT OUT OF THIS MATCH!!! 

 

Krissy Kruel is eliminated by Slang Dang! (1)

 

Kendra: Wasting no time now, Slang Dang with a running DDT to Max! Max bounces up and immediately eats a spinning wheel kick! Frustration wearing on Max's face, Slang taking a run back... Max up and Slang comes for another running DDT MAX BACK BODY DROPS HIM OUT OF THE RING HE LANDED WITH HIS FEET UP! Slang Dang survives!

 

Jackson: Kips up to the apron, springboard and a Blockbuster to Max! We're about to go into Countdown land!

 

5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: A brand new hire!! The Stout Stoat AND SLANG GOT MAX UP!! MAX IS GOING FOR A RIDE... DANG-A-SLANG SLAM!!! MAX IS CUT OFF BEFORE HE CAN CROSS THE THRESHOLD!!

 

Max Matthews is eliminated by Slang Dang! (2)

 

Kendra: You gotta think that's taken it out of him though, and we've got this fresh blood in here now. Stoat attempts to just flip him over the rope, all she does is give him rope burn though. 

 

Jackson: He keeps himself in the ropes and Stoat hits a boxing combo to the midsection, oh Slang blocks the last shot and headbutt pushes Stoat back! He frees himself and going in with a series of chops, switching hands and unloading a few more, brilliantly placed standing dropkick knocks her back!

 

Simon: She's up to her feet, he goes for another standing dropkick but she reads him this time and grabs the legs, oh that's unexpected strength there and she whips him into the turnbuckles! He pops up to the top, missile dropkick!! He lands on his feet but within striking distance of hers and she gets a drop toe hold.

 

Kendra: He kicks her away as he gets up... it's always a surprise when newbies put up this level of a fight, I don't think Slang expected this amount of trouble. He attempts to arm drag her over the ropes, but she lands on the apron and rolls back in. 

 

Jackson: He's ready for her, scoops her up and Powerslam! She's back to her feet, she's got him by the back....wait, taking him up to the Electric Chair and a Facebuster! And the countdown clock's already started!

 

7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Kendra: The Doctor is In!

 

Simon: Slang greets her with a rolling cutter! And Stoat hits her with an elbow drop! Oh but you gotta watch out Stoat... Slang behind her and getting her into a back suplex, Stoat trying to fight it and Cancel gives Slang a hand! Double Back Suplex! OH BUT CANCEL FLIPS SLANG OVER THE ROPES!!! 

 

Slang Dang is eliminated by Dr. Cancel! (1)

 

Jackson: Cancel turns her attention to Stoat and just pummeling her! Cancel scoops Stoat up... holding for a bit of time.... spike piledriver! Coming off the ropes, elbow drop to Stoat's throat!

 

Kendra: The fans don't like Dr. Cancel and they're letting her know. Don't let them distract you Doc, Stoat back to her feet and Dropkick to the Back of Cancel! Cancel pushed into the ropes but not over.

 

Simon: Stoat catches the rebound, and a Reverse Chokeslam... oh... wait she gets her other hand on the front of Cancel... lifting up into both a regular and Reverse Chokeslam! How does this work...OH Doc goes face down into the mat! Apparently that's the Stoat Throat Coat! 

 

Kendra: Cancel gagging a bit, rolling a bit, kicks at the leg of Stoat, and another trying to get her away, Stoat says no and elbow drop to the ribs. Stoat going to the top, this could be a real bad idea, Stoat coming down for a Frog Splash CANCEL CATCHES HER INTO A DOUBLE KNEE FACEBREAKER! And the countdown clock had been going for a tick, we join it now in progress-

 

4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: BRIAN! SO MUCH FOR NOT TRYING!

 

Jackson: Cancel with a running STO drops Stoat, Stoat to her feet, Cancel goes for the boot-and away she goes!! 

 

The Stout Stoat is eliminated by Dr. Cancel! (2)

 

Kendra: Cancel looking for a clothesline to Brian, he ducks and snaps her with a half-nelson suplex! She gets to her feet quickly and atomic drop to Brian. 

 

Simon: Brian up to his feet, he gets Cancel by the waist and into scoop slam territory... and awwwwway she goes!

 

Dr. Cancel is eliminated by Brian Storm! (1)

 

Kendra: 40 seconds to go, means we're probably getting another pop in.

 

 

Kendra: Azaleah with a flip over neckbreaker to Brian! Brian with a drop toe hold in response, scoops her up with a German Suplex.  

 

Simon: Azaleah to her feet, Brian with a superkick and Azaleah is out of here as the countdown clock is coming around!

 

Azaleah is eliminated by Brian Storm! (2)

 

...5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Jackson: Brian greets Queen Platinum with a humongous clothesline! Platinum to his feet, Russian leg sweep to Brian! Brian holds on to her head and elbow to her back, she responds with a rough gut punch, Spinebuster to Brian. 

 

Kendra: Brian grabs Platinum's arm on the way up... going for a wristlock and Axe Kick! Storm Watch!! Pulls her up and arm whip, but she lands just on the apron and rolls back in. Brian kicks her on her way in.

 

Simon: Brian keeping her down with some stomps, Queen Platinum gets him by the legs, and she launches him backwards and out of this match!!

 

Brian Storm is eliminated by Queen Platinum! (1)

 

Jackson: 30 seconds left, it wouldn't make too much sense to bring someone in. Platinum sits in wait and watches the door and no immediate people coming, I guess we're waiting this one out. 

 

Kendra: What do you make of all the videos?

 

Simon: The Trust Us videos?

 

Kendra: Yeah.

 

Jackson: Lenny mentioned an eerie familiarity with them and I have to concur.

 

Simon: There is definitely more danger coming this way and while I might not be having that same sense I can't deny the foreboding. Oh look and it's the countdown clock to get us out of this reverie.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Bowen has entered the chat and done so like a freight train, huge shoulder tackle takes her right out of the equation! 

 

Kendra: Drive-Thru service here is impeccable!

 

Queen Platinum is eliminated by Bowen Baneclaw! (1)

 

 

Jackson: Bowen laughing at Banana Ben, oh but Ben with a series of rights makes that laughter stop real quick. Bowen with a whip to Banana, Banana coming back around, ducks the clothesline... Springboard Superman!! It's a Fruit Punch!!

 

Kendra: Bowen tumbled back, Banana coming to grapple and Bowen with a headbutt. Shoves Banana to the ropes, Big Boot! Banana rocks back and over for a second but able to bring himself back. Coming for a clothesline of his own, Bowen with a leg trip DDT.

 

Bowen: Seriously! This the loser you put me with?!

 

Simon: Don't take your eyes off the road Bowen BANANA with a standing dropkick!! Bowen swings over the rope but holds on! Bowen backhand slap to Banana, Banana clotheslines him over the rope again and this time it's gonna stick!!

 

Bowen Baneclaw is eliminated by Banana Ben! (1)

 

Jackson: Don't underestimate anyone who steps in those ropes. 

 

 

Simon: I bet this is who Bowen THOUGHT he would fight. 

 

Kendra: Tank leads the charge, Banana rolls out of the way and Tank can't stop his momentum BANANA BEN DROPKICKS HIM OUT TOO!!

 

Tank Vanguard is eliminated by Banana Ben! (2)

 

Jackson: Are the kids still talking about Bingo Cards? Cause this sure wouldn't be on any of them.

 

Simon: Banana Ben makes short work of two meat mountains. And now he's going to have a little time to breathe before the next one comes in, it appears that the rule is new people until 35 seconds left, and we are down as we're saying this below the 20 second mark. 

 

Kendra: It's going to be the 23rd official person though really it's more like 36 already. And Kid Kross STILL is the one to beat in the numbers game. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Jackson: Hunter in right off with a throat punch and an elbow to the back of the neck! That'll stun ya! And Gets Banana by the peel and whings him outta here!! 

 

Banana Ben is eliminated by Hunter Kelly! (1)

 

Kendra: Daylight come and he wanna go home.

 

Simon: I guess we'll see who else is in the reserves.

 

 

Jackson: Chainz with a quick punch, Hunter blocks and punches her back. Hunter goes for a second punch, Alyson blocks and arm wringer flip!

 

Kendra: He gets up quickly and a jumping DDT, oof and her head bounces off the mat! That looked rough! She goes for a sweep kick, he jumps it and jump kick to her head, grabs her legs and Exploder Suplex! Sending her right outta this one!! 

 

Alyson Chainz is eliminated by Hunter Kelly! (2)

 

Simon: Looks like we're gonna get yet another replacement.

 

 

Jackson: And we've all been Rickrolled. Fantastic. 

 

Kendra: Hunter isn't amused by this, and he's yelling at the Sound guys!! Krinj slides in... runs up behind him, takes the run back... SHINING WIZARD! He tumbles over the ropes but holds on.

 

Simon: Hunter rolls into the ring and lifts up Krinj... gets her into a Burning Hammer and sends her over the edge!!

 

Kendra: He gave her up and let her down!

 

Krinj is eliminated by Hunter Kelly! (3)

 

Jackson: If Hunter can get two more people out, he's going to supplant Kid Kross in that eliminations slot.

 

Simon: The list is getting smaller of official people coming through that door. We don't have the order but we have the official participants roster, so as we sit more than half done, we've yet to see Asuka, Isabella, Capybara... I feel like best case scenario it's gonna be Syn Sation or Alysa Liu.

 

10! 9! 8!

 

Kendra: What's worst case scenario?

 

7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Kendra: ... yeah I think that counts.

 

Simon: Hunter not scared though, he's got himself loaded back and discus boot sends Stitches over the rope, but he holds firm. Hunter keeping Stitches on the ropes with a series of hammer punches... Stitches just laughs and tilting his head, Hunter kicks his head back straight with a Black Mass Kick! 

 

Jackson: It almost overcorrected and sets his head straight the other way with a sort of... Southpaw Black Mass. 

 

Kendra: Keeping Stitches on the ropes is admittedly a smart move, and Hunter lifts the legs of Stitches! Over he goes!

 

Simon: Stitches only works if you're scared of him.

 

Stitches the Clown is eliminated by Hunter Kelly! (4)

 

Jackson: Only one elimination now and Hunter is in the driver's seat.

 

 

Kendra: Hunter tries to bump Jess right out, but she stabilizes, and attempts to flip Hunter over AND SHE IS SUCCESSFUL. Yet again Kid Kross is saved!

 

Hunter Kelly is eliminated by Hot Mess Jess! (1)

 

Jackson: And so we get ANOTHER intermittent person.

 

 

Simon: Jess takes the former Red Tape Terry Brant to task with a single-arm neckbreaker. She comes off the ropes and a slightly wonky Asai Moonsault that is nonetheless effective, and keeps it going with flipping leg drop. 

 

Kendra: Momentum is really on her side, and I have to say she's improving her fighting style quite a bit from last year. Taking a quick run and a beautiful snapmare. 

 

Jackson: She's keeping control of this for sure, as Dactyl pulling himself towards the rope to try to get an escape I'd keep the pressure on oh she's choosing to go for another run as the countdown clock kicks in-

 

10! 9! 8! 7!

 

Simon: She's going for that elbow drop BUT HE'S READY FOR HER!

 

6! 5! 4! 3!

 

Jackson: Monkey flip and he uses her own momentum against her to get her outta here!! Sublimely timed!!

 

Hot Mess Jess is eliminated by Pterry Dactyl! (1)

 

2! 1!

 

 

Simon: That was brilliantly played by Dactyl, and now here comes Screech to make his play for that open spot.

 

Jackson: Screech gets Dactyl off the ground and on his shoulders... getting the crowd pumped a little doing some squats, it's a risk to showboat but Screech wants to be memorable as well as talented... and sends Dactyl into extinction! Over the ropes he goes!

 

Pterry Dactyl is eliminated by Screech! (1)

 

Kendra: Screech wasn't messing around in getting that first fall... let's see what the next surprise entrant is going to be...

 

 

Simon: Honestly, I'm surprised she wasn't on the list to begin with. And Screech looking to end her time her quick, as soon as she's stepping into the ropes rocking her with a clothesline... she holds on and tries to pull him over!! But he plants his feet and she rolls in.

 

Kendra: Honestly, I get the quick elimination attempts. Until you get to like spot 33, you have a much better chance to rack up your numbers than to get the spot by winning. Rox with a Hammerlock German Suplex to Screech. Picks him up and huge hammer whip sends him over the ropes... she charges with a boot to finish the job and gets it done! 

 

Screech is eliminated by Rox Starr! (1)

 

Jackson: If she'd held out like 6 more seconds she'd get to wait it out, but we're getting another entrant.

 

 

Simon: It figures that it would be another Sex Appeal member, they and Deck of Hearts have been thorns in each others' sides. Daria with an eye rake. Rox swings back, Daria ducks and gets her up on the shoulders... we're gonna get that 5D! And RIGHT OUT OF THE RING!!! 

 

Rox Starr is eliminated by Daria Donner! (1)

 

Daria grabs a microphone.

 

Daria: You might as well just end this right here and give me this spot. Honestly, any moment that Sex Appeal isn't on these peoples' screens is a waste of time. Of course they don't realize it, because this frigid, nothingburger country that doesn't recognize sexy if it doesn't have scales - that's right- I called you all a bunch of fishf-

 

The crowd counts extra loud to drown her out. 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Feedback was one of those who would have been in a tiebreaker match, and got thrust into this contest instead.

 

Jackson: He's going to make the most of it though, lightning quick chops to Daria. Daria blocks the last one and a slap in response to Feedback. She's already got him up on her shoulders, 5D and drops him out of the ring but he manages to stay on the apron... tries to pull her out and it's a no go.

 

Kendra: He gives her some ropeburn to the face though on his way, and she punches him right back, and suplex right into the ring. Kneedrop to his face, he tries to punch at her leg to slow her momentum and she stomps his hand for his insolence. Keeping steady control of this and she's smart not to try to dump him again, soften him up and burn out that clock a little so she can get the half minute risk free rather than have someone come in and remove that chance for a break. 

 

Simon: I think you might be right, now she's getting him up, going for the spin but really relishing it.. oh she spends a little too much time and she does drop him but he gets his wits about him and eats the rope instead of the floor... Feedback standing on the apron now trying to pull her over, and manages it! He gets her by the hair and into the turnbuckle... runs her face first into the buckle and Daria goes down!! 

 

Daria Donner is eliminated by Feedback! (1)

 

Jackson: Feedback is just under that 35 second line, so he's gonna get that chance to take the smallest of breaths.

 

Kendra: Feedback's 5 eliminations in his Fatal Four Suits Gauntlet earned him the tiebreaker under GHW, but he and his team The Legion have apparently been called up and so we're gonna see what this team of heroes can do in the main show. Personally I don't see them going way too far, but I've been wrong before. 

 

Simon: Many times. 

 

Kendra: Okay, watch yourself Apple. 

 

Jackson: Children, stop fighting.

 

Simon: Here comes the countdown clock, just in time.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Jackson: The Olympic Ice Skater is here now hoping to make up for the less than stellar performance in the W2 Round Robin. And that Pirouette Roundhouse Kick to the head is undoubtedly a good start!! A Lysten Up puts Feedback over the ropes, he tumbles but BARELY manages to hold onto the bottom rope. 

 

Kendra: Feedback springboards himself back in and a brutal forearm shot. She stumbles a bit, Rolling Thunder and into the headscissors... Feedback Loop! And sends her over the ropes, is that gonna be it for Alysa, it is! Just further proof that she is not ready for this business! 

 

Alysa Liu is eliminated by Feedback! (2)

 

Simon: 53 seconds to go, which means we're gonna have an interloper, but who's it gonna be?

 

 

Simon: Feedback Loop vs Laser Loop. Another one who got a little snubbed in the initial lineup.

 

Jackson: And Feedback with two quick chops to Neon Sky, and one with the other hand. Going for another with hand 2, Neon Sky catches and quick arm drag. Feedback up, Neon Sky ready for him with an enzuigiri, and follow up with a flip leg drop. Taking a run as Feedback gets up... Springboard NO GAMENGIRI! STROBE STEP! 

 

Kendra: Now past the point of any other interruptions before the next scheduled opponent, Neon Sky has Feedback on the ropes and running corkscrew dropkick!! Feedback tips over the edge but only briefly and able to pull himself back to earth, Neon Sky tries to kick him over again, OH Feedback with the drop toe and Neon Sky is caught on the middle rope, what are we gonna see here, Feedback pulls him away and tries to get him over, oh but Ty holds on and Feedback adapts it to a guillotine. 

 

Simon: He was at least able to get something there, but Ty catches him with a basement roundhouse and Feedback is on the ground with Ty. 

 

Jackson: Feedback getting to his feet as the countdown clock starts up and elbow drop to Ty, oh and it looks like we're about to see who's next.

 

5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: ISABELLA IS HERE! NO IFS OR ANDS, BUT PLENTY OF BUTTS!

 

Kendra: Isabella charges in and Bella Bomb propels Feedback right out of the ring!

 

Feedback is eliminated by Isabella van der Garde! (1)

 

Jackson: Isabella turns around and eats a single leg dropkick. 

 

Simon: Isabella back to her feet, gets Neon Sky in an elbow wrench, and blasts him with a heel kick. He staggers back, she superkicks him out of the ring, and he hits the apron. Holds on, springboard into a corkscrew arm drag. 

 

Kendra: Knee drop to her face, and she responds with a drop toe hold and a knee smash, he rolls back and loads up his leg...

 

Crowd: GLOW! GLOW! GLOW!

 

Jackson: GLOW KICK! AND ISABELLA GETS TAKEN OUT OF THE RING!

 

Isabella van der Garde is eliminated by Ty Neon Sky Lancer! (1)

 

Simon: Neon Sky lands it and the crowd is so into it! And he's charging up on their energy, it's creating its own Laser Loop.

 

Ty Neon Sky Lancer pumps up the crowd as the clock starts to wind down.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Jackson: Ishii is ready for battle, they roll into the ring and quick lariat takes Neon Sky off his feet. He snaps back, quick roll forward and taking a run for a lariat of his own, they back body drop him and he hits the apron but able to catch himself before touching ground and will stay in this one.

 

Simon: We've had a lot of people with these solid saves. It's impressive the way people fight to remain. He pulls himself back up... springboard and rolls to the other side of them, snaps off a glow kick and the Ghost of Yotei becomes the Ghost of this match!

 

Erika Ishii is eliminated by Ty Neon Sky Lancer! (2)

 

Kendra: She lasts just under a half minute in this match and we know what that means.

 

 

Simon: Here comes one of her Hot Mess Express cohorts, Du Dette! Neon Sky immediately greets her with a huracanrana. She's back to her feet, ducks an Enzuigiri, lifts him up into a German Suplex hold... oh damn! Running backwards and German Suplexes him straight outta this match!!

 

Ty Neon Sky Lancer is eliminated by Du Dette! (1)

 

Kendra: Still 4 seconds before the cutoff though... which means another challenger is about to appear.

 

 

Jackson: All Star rushes the ring and running the boot into Du, Du staggers back but happens to lift All Star out of the match and he's down and done!

 

All Star Eric Verne is eliminated by Du Dette! (2)

 

Simon: This time just on the other end of the cutoff, Du Dette is able to roll out of the ring and get herself a cocktail! She toasts the audience and enjoys her drink. 

 

Kendra: I love the swag of enjoying a cocktail and watching the ramp peacefully. It's a real boss move. 

 

Jackson: And it provides a potential weapon for her to give to her next opponent.

 

Simon: Countdown clock is right around the corner. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Kendra: We're now 75 percent through the planned roster, and this man thinks way too much about the Roman Empire.

 

Simon: Roman gets in the face of Du Dette... trying to intimidate her... Du smashes the cocktail glass on his face! That just made him mad, he arm drags her over the ropes but she lands on the apron! Tries to drag him over, he plants his feet. 

 

Jackson: She smashes his head into the turnbuckle REPEATEDLY! NOW she is able to drag him over, and they pull each other over!

 

Du Dette (3) and Roman Gold (1) eliminate each other!

 

Kendra: So... um... what happens now? 

 

Cole SP, Tamara Rivers, Yancy A Yarburn, Cheyenne, and Percy Cute all get led in. They're clearly confused but ready to fight.

 

Simon: Looks like the original winners of the Beat the Clock, the ones pushed off the clock, are gonna get another chance at this!

 

Jackson: Cheyenne with a Fisherman Suplex to Yancy, Cole lifts Tamara over his head and throws her right out!!

 

Tamara Rivers is eliminated by Cole SP! (1)

 

Kendra: Once again she is removed from the equation. Cole admires his handiwork, and Yancy takes the moment to hit him in the back with a running knee. Cheyenne clotheslines Percy Cute out of the ring!

 

Percy Cute is eliminated by Cheyenne! (1)

 

Jackson: Yancy lifts Cole up overhead, looking like he's gonna drop him... here comes Cheyenne and the two of them together send Cole out of this!

 

Cole SP is eliminated by Cheyenne (2) and Yancy A Yarburn (1)!

 

Simon: Cheyenne spins around and a punch to the face of Yancy, and as the countdown clock comes down hits him with a huge Jawbreaker.

 

9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Harper is a young gun and she may well have a solid future in this federation. 

 

Kendra: Maybe, but she won't have a future in this match, Yancy discus boots her right out of here! 

 

Harper Henry is eliminated by Yancy A Yarburn! (2)

 

Jackson: Yancy on fire, and discus boot to Cheyenne, she starts to tip over, but launches Yancy over the edge with an exploder!

 

Yancy A Yarburn is eliminated by Cheyenne! (3)

 

Simon: We had 5 people in this match for a hot minute, and yet once again we are back to Special Entrants. Wild.

 

 

Kendra: Amygdala in and quick chop to Cheyenne, and follows with two more, grabs the head of Cheyenne and bionic elbows! Cheyenne whips her off the ropes, and launches her out of the ring, her head hits the apron but she lands with one foot up. 

 

Simon: Amygdala gets up on the apron, Cheyenne punches her, Amygdala pulls her over and gets her out of the ring and out of the match!!

 

Cheyenne is eliminated by Amygdala! (1)

 

Jackson: Past that 35 second cutoff, which means she can take a breath as we wade through the final quarter. 

 

Kendra: Ostensibly, these are the people who would have the better chance of winning this. 

 

Simon: Anything is possible, though, as we've seen this whole event, especially if DA Jones has another flip out.

 

Jackson: I'm getting the sense we actually need a good in-between. Someone who has the match knowledge and love for the craft that Colin had with the firm hand of DA. 

 

Kendra: Or, conversely, someone comfortable with chaos. 

 

Simon: Here we go with person 32/57, depending on how you're counting.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Amygdala coming in with a Bell Clap! Oh, a series of Bell Claps! It's a Temporal Distortion!

 

Kendra: El Cerrador trying to shake up the vertigo, Amygdala tries to take advantage, spin kick, El Cerrador ducks and leg trapped powerbomb to her! Takes a run off the ropes and a Springboard Coffin Drop! 

 

Jackson: EC scoops Amygdala up and tosses her out!

 

Amygdala is eliminated by El Cerrador! (1)

 

 

Kendra: Unsurprisingly, here is Amygdala's teammate. She steps into the ring and Cerrador's already on a run...shotgun dropkick takes her right over the ropes-but Medulla holds on.

 

Simon: Medulla rolls in, EC springboards and elbow drop before she can get back up fully. She kicks him in the shins on her way up, he hits her with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors and she goes right back out! OH BUT SHE KEEPS ONE LEG UP!

 

Jackson: Suicide Dive through the Middle Rope as the countdown clock comes and that'll knock her fully down! And he stays in through going through the middle rope!! Cerrador uses the last seconds to get a table and roll it in!

 

Medulla is eliminated by El Cerrador! (2)

 

3! 2! 1!

 

Simon: CAPYBARA IN THE HOUSE! EC with a quick chest chop and whips him into the corner.

 

Kendra: Oh, he's taking a little too long, Cap is lining himself up... SHINING WIZARD FROM THE CORNER... RIVERBOOOOOAT! Cerrador knocked backwards and barely holds on! 

 

Jackson: Cap headbutts him, goes for a second but Cerrador evades and smashes his head into the turnbuckle. Now he goes for a second but Cap braces the buckle to stop the blow and a back elbow to EC. Cap attempts to lift EC out but settles for a slingshot into the buckle. 

 

Simon: EC goes for the Deadly Night Shade, Cap decides instead to flip him over the ropes! El Cee Ya!

 

El Cerrador is eliminated by Capybara! (1)

 

 

Simon: Cap ready for Dorothy and Riverboat!! She goes over, but stays on the apron, pulls Cap over and they're battling on the apron. Cap runs Dorothy to the pole and away she goes!

 

Dorothy Damage is eliminated by Capybara! (2)

 

Kendra: Cap's gonna get a moment to rest. But only a moment. He gets himself back in the ring and sets up the table as we get the countdown clock ready to roll.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: The Voice is here, and she's itching to initiate.

 

Kendra: A little too impulsive on her part with the kick and caught into a dragon leg screw. She's up to her feet quickly and grabs him by the waist, going for a run and trying to get him over, will need to settle for a guillotine. He throws some elbows at her and a headbutt. She pushes him back, a snap Shining Wizard takes her right out of the match!! 

 

Emily Protas is eliminated by Capybara! (3)

 

Jackson: Cap is the next person to rise the ranks, but can he top that 4 spot... maybe even win?

 

 

Kendra: Jamie is going to be his next roadblock as she'll now make a try to get a spot in the main event at Heart Condition.

 

Jackson: Cap meets her with a swinging neckbreaker, she rolls and back to her feet, forearm shot to Cap, and picking him up... brilliant brainbuster.  

 

Simon: He's rolling to the corner, and this can only mean one thing... loading it up.... RIVERBOAT TAKES JAMIE OVER THE ROPES JAMIE LANDS ON THE APRON AND DRAGS HIM OVER INSTEAD! AND HIS NIGHT IS CAPPED.

 

Capybara is eliminated by Lustress Jamie! (1)

 

Kendra: And that's gonna take us right to the countdown.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Kendra: And the former Syndy Sweet, now going by Syn Sation as SugarKoma imploded and she has joined EM Powered. Jamie not impressed and boots her right out of the match!

 

Syn Sation is eliminated by Lustress Jamie! (2)

 

Jackson: Well, that was a pointless entry.

 

 

Kendra: If I were Jamie I'd back up... ZYN FANDEL YANKS HER OVER THE ROPES AND SUPLEX OFF THE APRON!! JAMIE IS OUT!

 

Lustress Jamie is eliminated by Zyn Fandel! (1)

 

Simon: That might possibly be the last chance to catch Kid Kross lost there, but we do have another surprise entrant of course so who knows.

 

 

Jackson: IT'S PATTY PRISM! Here to shed some light!

 

Kendra: And she gives Zyn Fandel a taste of her own medicine with that apron suplex! Keep this up we may have as many surprise entrants as we do scheduled ones!

 

Zyn Fandel is eliminated by Patty Prism! (1)

 

Simon: And here comes the next one?

 

 

Jackson: Teal rushing in with her briefcase, smashing Prism out of the ring with it!

 

Patty Prism is eliminated by Jen Teal! (1)

 

Kendra: And the elimination train continues.

 

 

Simon: Rel with a running high knee to Teal. 

 

Kendra: Yanking Teal closer, leg-hook DDT. Rel snapping back with a punch to Teal. Teal grabs the arm and judo arm flip. 

 

Jackson: Rel gets behind her and back suplex! And we hit the countdown clock.

 

9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

Simon: Kangaroo Kick by Rel takes Oriana over the edge and onto the apron, holds on for dear life but still on. 

 

Kendra: Rel with a spinning DDT to Teal, scoops her up, and scoop slams Teal out of the ring.

 

Jen Teal is eliminated by Rel Ish! (1)

 

Jackson: Rel with a bionic elbow to Oriana, Oriana responds with a forearm shot, and Rel Exploder Suplexes her out of the ring! 

 

Oriana Burkhardt is eliminated by Rel Ish! (2)

 

Simon: And just one second away from the cutoff, so we're going to have someone else coming out here.

 

 

Kendra: Shotgun dropkick to Leshy. Leshy clumped over, Rel continues the run and axe kick! That's one way to drop a giant!

 

Jackson: Rel going for a piledriver and this is a clear case of biting off more than you can chew, as Leshy back body drops him! Rel slide kicks Leshy. 

 

Simon: Leshy grabs the neck of Rel and just tosses him straight out as the countdown comes in.

 

Rel Ish is eliminated by Leshy! (1)

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Kendra: The Empress of Tomorrow!! 

 

Simon: Asuka with a discus elbow. Leshy responds with a brain chop, and launches her by the throat and launches her over the rope!! 

 

Jackson: Not the Empress of Today, clearly.

 

Asuka is eliminated by Leshy! (2)

 

Kendra: Here we go. 

 

 

Simon: They're coming out of the woodwork. It's nuts.

 

Kendra: Leshy boots her immediately, then punts her across the ring.

 

Jackson: Leshy following up with a Fallaway Slam THROUGH THE TABLE!!! THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURT!!!

 

Simon: And another one, out Miu goes!

 

Miu is eliminated by Leshy! (3)

 

Jackson: Leshy gets a chance to breathe, and a little under half minute until our next person. We've got only 3 people left to come in, barring any interlopers left.

 

Kendra: I feel like there will be interlopers. But I guess we have some time. Let's take a little guess, each of us pick who we think the next of the three is coming out. I pick Shadow. 

 

Jackson: I think it'll be Lucenza. 

 

Simon: I guess that leaves me Kiri Kruel.

 

Jackson: Only one way to find out. Here comes the countdown-

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Kendra: Called it!

 

Jackson: Leshy with a chop to Shadow, and an elbow. Shadow responds by lifting her up and Spinebuster! Leshy up quickly and hammer fist. Not a lot of people can do that but Leshy's got some inches on Shadow. 

 

Simon: He grabs Leshy by the waist, belly to belly to send her out of the ring, oh but she landed legs up! Gonna hurt but she also stays in and able to push herself back in the ring. 

 

Kendra: Leshy launches Shadow out of the ring with a choke throw!! 

 

Shadow Kawashima is eliminated by Leshy! (4)

 

Jackson: Well, 55 seconds to go, Leshy still here for the next potential competitor and may once again be the last chance to unseat Kid Kross.

 

 

Kendra: They're not gonna make it easy. This is some Godzilla-King Kong action.

 

Simon: One of the few people that Leshy has to look up to, but she's not scared and she lands two gut punches. He responds with a headbutt to her, and a Kesagiri Chop, she lifts him a little for an Inverted Atomic Drop. 

 

Jackson: Neither of them showing any emotion, as he blasts her once again with a headbutt, she lifts him up and suplexes him over the ropes, but his length saves him, legs draped over the edge of the barricade, he ROLLS HIMSELF BACK TO THE RING APRON! WHOA, I WAS NOT EXPECTING A HANDSTAND HERE AND HE BRIDGES HIMSELF BACK TO THE RING LIKE A GIANT SLINKY! 

 

Kendra: Seeing that I would run. Just I would give him the match. He gets to his feet and Leshy clearly frightened a bit by what she just saw, grabs her by the hair and launches her over the edge!! Kross's space remains intact!!

 

Leshy is eliminated by Michael Sistine! (1)

 

Simon: Michael Sistine glares at the audience. This is a terrifying sight for the next 25 seconds, and the countdown clock can't come fast enough.

 

Kendra: Michael Sistine is in real contention to win this thing, whoever comes next better pray that they can find a way to take him out. 

 

Jackson: Someone named the Human Chapel should not be able to bend that way. It's not human and not a way that a chapel would move. 

 

Simon: Oh thank God. Here comes the clock.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Kendra: Well, one hand, the size difference would give anyone pause. The other, if anyone could overcome this size difference it is the once Hikaru Shida, who's throwing kicks and punches at him. 

 

Simon: Sistine barely looks at her and tosses her right on out of here. 

 

Kiri Kruel is eliminated by Michael Sistine! (2)

 

Jackson: We could just throw it to our final entrant, but you can hear her arguing in the back that she isn't ready to come out yet. 

 

 

Simon: Lucenza Rossi refusing to come out early, hoping Violent can manage Sistine, let's find out. 

 

Kendra: Sistine boots Violent back. Violent builds up a head of steam as he goes running, picking it up like it's a ska song and FOOTBALL TACKLES MICHAEL SISTINE OUT OF THIS MATCH!!!

 

Michael Sistine is eliminated by Violent! (1)

 

Jackson: Let's settle one thing right now, Kid Kross is locked for that top elimination spot. Realistically, the next interloper will be the last one, and then it's Lucenza and that's all she wrote. So one of the three left is going to have to go for the win. 

 

 

Simon: Nope. NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE.

 

Blobby: BLOBBY BLOBBY BLOBBY!

 

Kenda: Violent agrees with you and he's just stepping out over the ropes - MR. BLOBBY GIVES HIM A PUSH WITH HIS BELLY! HE MADE CONTACT AND MR. BLOBBY HAS A MARKED ELIMINATION!

 

Violent is eliminated by Mr. Blobby! (1)

 

Simon: We're just at that 35 second line but I think we all want to see somebody eliminate Blobby as soon as possible.

 

 

Jackson: MUMIN ELIMINATES BLOBBY!!!

 

Mr. Blobby is eliminated by Mumin! (1)

 

Simon: This Finnish hero has this crowd on their feet!! They are so excited to see him knock out that grotesquerie and the possibility that Mumin could go to He-

 

 

Jackson: LUCENZA RUSHES THE RING AND DROPKICKS MUMIN RIGHT OUT OF THE RING!

 

Kendra: HE'S FINNISHED! THERE'S YOUR HERO, FINLAND!

 

Mumin is eliminated by Lucenza Rossi! (1) Lucenza Rossi wins!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner, LUCENZA ROSSI!

 

Kendra: Lucenza, who'd been turned away from Sex Appeal, now has come out of this victorious and... oh, looks like she's got some built-up rage that she's taking out on Mumin! 

 

Simon: There are children watching!

 

Jackson: Mr. Blobby is back!! Mr. Blobby and Lucenza are stomping out Mumin!! What a mess!!! The refs are out here and let's go to commercial while we clean it up.

 

 

Hester Collingwood, Lead Designer: MAWL 4 was made on a bet.

 

During the production of MAWL III, I raised concerns about the nature of the DLC. That the games were too tiered, the DLC was being released too sporadically, that people missed the good ol' days of putting in the work to unlock rewards. Amelia Wolfhard, God love her, suggested that people would rather pay for the convenience of having characters at their fingertips, and maybe they could be tempted to unlock some extra things, but they mostly want to pay and play. 

 

I believe in you. I believe in your drive to achieve, and moreover I believe that games should be as democratized as possible, that being kept from cool characters and features because of financial consideration is an unfair practice. 

 

So Nora and I made a bet. I bet on the idea that a version of this game that took out all the microtransactions and pay to play would still be financially beneficial to our company and that more people will be drawn to us. I bet on you.

 

So here's what this means. MAWL 4 has no special editions. No microtransactions. No paid DLC.

 

You. Unlock. Everything.

 

Now let me be clear. When I say everything, I don't mean you start with no roster. You will have 463 playable characters available to you right from jump, from the worlds of MAWL and GHW, which may well by the largest starting roster a game like this has ever had, though I have no real way to confirm that right now. But that is just one corner of the universe, and there will be so many more characters, match types, alternate attires, weapons, stories, side games for you to explore.

 

And we're not sundowning MAWL III. Both games will continue to be supported, patched with new characters as new people join the federation. After all, how can we compare who does better if one isn't operating? 

 

So with a single price tag of $69.99, come get some. In fact, COME GET IT ALL.

 

 

We are live!

In Catering!

The place where Jobbers, Lower Card and Midcarders hang out!

There is food, drinks and board games!

Honestly, it is a fantastic place.

No so-called “main eventers” ruining the vibe.

Each table in catering tends to have different “cliques” occupying the space. Not just the standard heels and faces stuff. There is the tag dudes, The chicks. The Dudes. The weirdos. The forgotten ones.

Even those groups have different groups. The animals. The masked guys. The bald guys. The Asian ones. The food based gimmicks. The ones with no gimmicks. The ones creative have no plans for. The 404 guys unbooked in MAWL. The MAWL guys unbooked in 404.

 

CON and Diana Dresden walk into catering and walk in separate directions. Diana Dresden walks towards the Animals. Manta Ray greets her with excitement!

 

 

CON walks past the pep guys. CON, trying his best to walk past without being noticed, fails as Devon Delight notices CON first and shouts him over. CON nervously joins the pep Squad.

 

 

Manta Ray: Well Dinah, the faces at this table are a little different from the last time I saw you here,The Birds once had their own table but too many of them turned heel and stopped liking birds. That is why Phoebe Black has joined us.

 

 

Phoebe waves to Diana Dresden who awkwardly waves back.

Elsewhere, Devon Delight is spilling the tea to CON, who’s nervousness disappears as he is happy again. Happy for the first time in months.

Devon Delight: Confetti! You will not guess what's been happening with the game geeks? Press Start and Power Play and went on a double date and match point have heat with them because they werent invited and got ghosted! I also heard from Banana Ben that the foodies are having a vote on if Neopolitan can join them. So whats going on with you?

CON: Oh not much, I did meet a gir…

 

 

Enter SM HeartBreaker.

Catering goes silent. A fork can be heard falling to the floor. SM HeartBreaker looks around at the room in disgust. Almost like he is looking for people. SM HeartBreaker points to a few people on different tables and tells UV and Rox Starr to approach them.

 

 

SM HeartBreaker signals for Violent to follow him as he goes to the most central table in the room.

 

 

The Joshi Wrestlers. SM HeartBreaker stands on the table, kicking trays to one side as he announces to the entire room.

SM: Jobbers. I will not disturb you all for too long. I just need a few moments of your time and I will allow you to go back to eating your food and talking about whatever you jobbers do when you ain’t booked for matches.

Violent clears some space for SM HeartBreaker as the Joshi table begins to hurl insults at SM HeartBreaker.

SM: Jobbers please, I just want to know where a few people are. Allow me to have a quick little chat with four or five of you guys and I will be on my way.

SM HeartBreaker points at Jen Teal and signals for her to approach one of the tables at the far side of the room. Violent follows Jen Teal as SM HeartBreaker continues to address the room.

 

 

SM: For those of you that are unaware. I am SM HeartBreaker. Your locker room leader. Unfortunately a few of you have been chosen to be sacrificed. A sacrifice that is vital for the Deck of Hearts. If anyone would like to not be in this next segment, please leave now and walk back to the locker rooms.

Rox Starr approaches La Tigress and Cat’s table. Rox Starr smiles as the rest of the Felines look scared.

 

 

UV and Violent beeline to the masked tables. Avoiding the luchadors and the ugly masked wrestlers and heading directly to the weird Aztec Pro Masked guys.

SM: It seems we have found everyone except one person. Lazer. Where are you? Utterly Vile, which table would she be on?

UV looks towards the Pep table and the Mob table and doesn’t see Lazer, UV shrugs at SM HeartBreaker.

UV: I don’t see her. It doesn’t matter, she will get what is coming to her soon enough.

Everyone in the room freezes. It is fight or flight mode for the jobbers of MAWL, 404, APW, GHW and all other affiliate promotions in between. SM HeartBreaker gives the signal.

UV: Cole! Get ready to lock the door!

SM: Who the meow is Cole?!

 

Chaos erupts

Tomato sauce is spilt

And so begins

The Great Catering Massacre

Diana Dresden is the first one to move. She smiles at Manta Ray and leaps across the table, throwing hands and elbows at every animal in sight.

Violent and Utterly Vile are next, aiming directly for Los Lamentos. 

 

Valentina Nori lets out a blood curling scream but is silenced by a briefcase to the face from Jen Teal.

 

 

Rox Starr is next as she looks at La Tigress in the eye and punches her square in the jaw. The impact can be heard everywhere in the room. From the Managers table at the back, all the way to the overweight table at the front of Catering. Rox Starr grabs a tray and begins beating on La Tigress and is almost stopped by Cat, however Jen Teal again strikes with a briefcase to the head.

SM HeartBreaker is proudly overseeing the chaos. Until, Vicky,

 

 

A K9 chihuahua jumps up and bites SM heartBreaker. SM HeartBreaker tries to shake Vicky off his leg. After several seconds of trying, he succeeds before quickly punting the little mutt at Maki.

CON looks at his friend Devon Delight, who is confused. CON mouths the words “I am sorry” to Devon Delight.

Devon: But Confetti. We were bros. I thought you were my friend.

CON clinches his fist as his hand begins to shake. CON pauses and remembers all the good times he had with every single person at the Pep Table. Devon pleas with Confetti.

Devon: Confetti. This isn’t you bro.

CON hesitates for too long. SM HeartBreaker notices.

SM: Violent!

Violent out of nowhere, Grabs CON by the throat and throws him at Devon Delight like a human missile.

I would like to say some jobbers fought the good fight. Some picked flight. Those that did flee Catering did so in less than 120 seconds because that's the time it took Cole St Pierre to lock the doors. For those that stayed or were not fast enough.

Deck of Hearts annihilated them.

This was a planned attack, orchestrated by SM HeartBreaker. In a sick twisted game of making his Deck of Hearts members prove their loyalty to him and only him.

The catering is filled with the red splatter of tomato sauce, the undeniable brown colour of Chocolate cake and the fallen piles of Spaghetti scattered everywhere. Jobbers lay everywhere but the chosen few were dragged into the middle of the room.

Lamentos #1, Also known as LaGrima
Lamentos #2, Also known as Tresteza
Cat, one half of Felocity.
Manta Ray, (Former) Best friend of Dinah Soar and cousin of Sting Ray Steve Thunder
Devon Delight. Friend of CON
La Tigress also known as Marciela.

We don’t fully understand why each of these six have been chosen but SM HeartBreaker paces back and forth in front of them as he kneel in front of SM HeartBreaker.

SM: You six can not even comprehend the significant impact you have on the Deck of Hearts.  Look at you all, snivelling, weak and pathetic half of dozen of so called wrestlers I have ever looked at. You honestly don’t understand what is going on or why it is happening but allow me to tell you. This needed to happen. This is vital for the future of this business.

SM HeartBreaker claps his hands

SM: Right! Who wants to go first.

Rox Starr quickly puts her hand up before Diana Dresden and pushes in front of her as she approaches La Tigress. SM HeartBreaker hands Rox Starr a crowbar.

SM: Tell me Merciela. Why do you think you are here?

La Tigress refuses to speak. Rox Starr punches La Tigress in the face with her free hand in hope of making her talk. She still refuses to speak. Likely from a broken jaw. SM HeartBreaker kneels down and grabs the jaw of La Tigress.

SM: Rox tells me you and her were once friends. Tell me Merciela. Where were you when Rox Starr needed help? Where were you when your friend wasn’t being booked? Was you too busy taking the spotlight that your friend should of had?

Silence is telling as La Tigress doesn’t even try to speak.

SM: Rox Starr was your friend and you encouraged her to undergo multiple failed gimmick attempts in order to bury her. You allowed your friend to remain buried while you stole her spot on the show. You were a terrible friend to Rox Starr. Which is why Rox Starr picked you to prove her loyalty.

Rox Starr smiles. She truly believes every single lie SM HeartBreaker just said. Rox Starr truly believes the reason why she is not the greatest female wrestler in the world right now is because of La Tigress. Rox Starr raises that crowbar and beats the hell out of LaTigress. SM HeartBreaker moves on and throws a crowbar towards Diana Dresden.

SM: Manta Ray. Well isn’t this a surprise! Tell me, is it true what they say?

Manta Ray does not answer SM HeartBreaker’s rhetorical question.

SM: Is it true that you can talk to fish?

Manta Ray can not talk to wish…We think.

SM: Send Steve my regards.

Manta: Dinah, you don’t have to do this. You had friends once. Real friends. We were like family. You were the heart of that fam…

Diana Dresden does not allow Manta Ray to poison her mind for another moment. Diana Dresden strikes Manta Ray, again and again and again until Manta Ray stops moving. SM HeartBreaker walks towards Los Lamentos.

SM: Wow! Isn’t this a treat?! We not only caught one person, but two members of Los Lamentos. Hell, we even caught Cat to unite with your little group. Tell me Lamentos #1. Do you remember what you did to Violent?

Lamentos #2 looks at SM HeartBreaker with confusion.

SM: Or are you Lamentos #1?

SM HeartBreaker looks at Lamentos #1 who is knelt down next to Lamentos #2.

SM: Do you remember Violent? Or Violence as he was formerly christened? No? Exactly.

UV hands Violent a crowbar, but Violent throws it to one side. Violent picks up a fork. UV likes this idea and does the same.

SM: All the years training together. All the years together on the same roster. You don’t remember him do you? Like a forgotten monster under your bed. Tell me Lamentos One and Two. Tell me, will you remember Violent now?

We don’t know who Violent drove the fork into the face of. But he aims to make a mess of the face of Lamentos One or Two. Utterly Vile follows suit and begins to tear at the mask of the tag team wrestler from Parts unknown. As the Los Lamentos members try to fight back from this Violent assault. SM HeartBreaker turns his attention to Cat Oscura and smiles.

SM: Well, look at what the Cat Oscura dragged in. Tell me. Do you also remember Violent? No? I thought not. Well, Jen Teal here is going to give you a Violent memory that you will never forget.

Jen Teal grabs a crowbar and approaches Cat Oscura. SM HeartBreaker stops her for a moment before kneeling down towards Cat Oscura

SM: When you wake up from this. I want you to try and send a message to your tag team partner Angel. Tell her. She is next.

Jen Teal strikes Cat in the side of the head with one big swing. Quick and easy.

Now it is CON’s turn.

CON Looks down at Devon Delight.

Devon Delight looks back up at CON.

Rox Starr hands CON a crowbar, which shakes in his hand as he tries to hold it steady.

Devon: You don’t have to do this Confetti. These people are not your friends. I don’t know which one of these chicks stole your heart, but she doesn’t love you Bro.

SM HeartBreaker angrily sees what is unfolding in front of him.

SM: Any last words Devon.

Devon Delight looks up at SM HeartBreaker with defiance. SM HeartBreaker stands above the kneeling Devon Delight. Devon Delight spits blood into the face of SM HeartBreaker.

Devon: Remember Confetti.

SM HeartBreaker forces CON to raise the crowbar ready to strike down on the skull of Devon Delight.

Devon: Bros before W…

Out of nowhere!

 

 

Lady Khromika!

One half of La Belleza Letal!

Jumps up in the air and connects with a flying 6K9 knee strike to the head of CON!

CON is knocked out!

This is the signal the jobbers need that send the Deck of Hearts into chaos!

The wrestlers playing possum jump up and overpower the Deck of Hearts who immediately try and regain control of the situation.

Los Lamentos fight back enough to escape as Lady Khromika pulls a semi-conscious La Tigress to her feet. Devon Delight smashes a window as the Catering wrestlers escape.

Deck of Hearts abandon their scheme but the damage is done.

Deck of Hearts have already achieved what they wanted.

A message has been sent to the entire business.

 

The lights flash on and off, imitating rolls of lightning. The crowd stomps their feet for "THUNDER", and Steve walks out. But he's not happy.

 

 

Steve: Regards received, Heartbreaker.

 

No half-cocked attempt at a clever nickname. He's all business.

 

Steve: And in fact, I have a reply for you. The moment I saw Manta go down, I went right to DA's office and I got myself a spot ringside for your title match. That's right. I'm gonna be a lumberjack. I also volunteered some of your best friends to join me. So Nero, Gozu, Scott Razor, Harris Brothers, hope you don't mind a little extra work today. DA will be reaching out to you all before the match, she agreed that-

 

 

DA: Don't speak for me.

 

Steve: Right, sorry boss.

 

DA: But everything Steve said is true. When we reviewed the footage, it was clear bigger names were needed to keep order, and Steve's ideas were good ones so I gave the final go-ahead. So gentlemen, I will expect you ringside for that match. 

 

Now, SM didn't act alone in that, did he. The entirety of Deck of Hearts is at fault for that horrendous beatdown. Violent, Jen, Rox all already fought today, so your comeuppance will need to wait. As for the rest of you...

 

 

Kendra: She's winding up for something that's really gonna piss them off.

 

 

Jackson: Whatever it is, I'm sure it's well-deserved.

 

 

Simon: I'd even say whatever it is would be getting off light.

 

DA: The DOH Boys will be REMOVED from the Fatal Four Corners Match, with a replacement team to be determined. Further, Diana Dresden's Bloodstar Match will be now be an 8-person Elimination Chamber Match, with three qualifying matches coming up momentarily for those remaining spots. And FINALLY, Steve you will need to find a new partner for the Tag Rumble later. So Steve get outta here and figure that out, and we're gonna start these three fights right here and now. 

 

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall-

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Sheri: And is a qualifying match for the Elimination Chamber!

 

 

Kendra: Seriously?

 

Sheri: FIRST! From France, representing RFDC, El SEÑOR PIKAAAAACHU!!!

 

Jackson: We have no idea who he's fighting, and I don't think he expected to be here today. So we'll see what happens here.

 

 

The hi-hats kick in and the lights flicker in multiple colors. As soon as the guitars hit...

 

 

A dancing German comes out both twirling and headbanging rhythmically.

 

Sheri: And his opponent! From Dettelbach, Germany, weighing in at 206 pounds, Tanzkommander!! 

 

He continues the dancing a la Christopher Walken in "Weapon of Choice" down the ramp. He leaps into the ring and so into the groove that he doesn't see ESP lined up and ready to strike. 

 

The bell rings!

 

Kendra: Pikachu with a running cannonball senton plows right into Tanz! 

 

 

Ned: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

El Señor Pikachu wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner... El SEÑOR PIKAAAAACHU!!!

 

Simon: Didn't keep his eye on the Pokéball and it cost him. 

 

Jackson: And that means that Pikachu could be yet another outsider walking away with a championship. 

 

Kendra: If he can get through the Elimination Chamber. But he's been in tighter spots before. Onto the next, I guess?

 

 

The lights flash in a way that causes the air to feel almost pixelated, as Krokodos hops down the ramp.

 

 

Sheri: First! From the 8-Bit Pit, weighing in at 248 pounds, KROKODOS!

 

He hops into the ring.

 

 

InstaGator stands on the stage with her phone up. She turns to face the crowd and take, well, a selfie.

 

 

Sheri: And his opponent! From Key West, Florida, INSTA GATOR!!!

 

Insta hops on Instagram Live and films the crowd and herself as she walks down. 

 

Jackson: It's old school tech versus new school tech with a metaphorical moat.

 

Simon: A moat-aphor.

 

Jackson: I apologize for him. 

 

Insta steps into the ring and the bell rings!

 

Kendra: Insta and Krok tangle up, Krok gets the upper hand, and pulls her up into a vertical suplex. Insta tries to get to her feet, Krok pulls her up and another snap suplex. 

 

Simon: We can expect an old-school fighting style from the retro reptile, as he tries to jump down with an elbow drop and Insta moves out of the way! Insta gets his arm up and going for a Fujiwara Armbar, really wrenching in, Krok reverses into a side cradle for the pin attempt-

 

 

Lindy: ONE! 

 

Jackson: Insta rolls out of it, arm drag to Krok, tail whip across Krok's face as he attempts to get up. Insta picks Krok up by the snout, knee to the jaw. Krok stumbles back, dropkick by Insta, she takes a run and Krok hits a back body drop oh Insta lands but rolls back to her feet and snap DDT! 

 

Simon: Insta keeping on Krok with the stompout, smart to keep it moving around the body so that he can't grab an easy hold of her leg, taking a run and that'll give enough time for Krok to roll and Insta airballs! Krok with a piledriver, locking in the rear naked, trying to take Insta out of the equation, Insta trying to crawl to the ropes. 

 

Kendra: She just needs some part of her to get there, and her snout does the trick, Krok lets go, Insta rolls back and scoops Krok up for an upside-down Burning Hammer...looks like she's going for the Hot Take Krok holds onto the ropes and kicks her back, he goes for her with a clothesline, she ducks and gets him back up and Hot Take! She makes it work this time!

 

Linday: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

InstaGator wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner, INSTAGATOR!!!

 

Jackson: She's going on to the Elimination Chamber! We've got one more spot so let's get right to it!

 

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Lightning flashes across the arena. A spotlight heads to the top of the Titantron where Thor stands, hammer raised.

 

 

Sheri: First! From Belize, weighing at 245 pounds, THE KING OF KINGS, THOR!!!

 

Thor ziplines down into the ring. 

 

Kendra: The crowd used to have an issue with Thor but that seems to have waned nicely. 

 

Jackson: He's going to be taking on a debuting Diego. And he was smart to go first and avoid that ever-present threat of getting powerbombed from the zipline. 

 

 

“No one will survive” by CFO$ starts playing as alarm lights starts flashing around the Titantron. As the guitar riff starts Diego appears on stage with red and yellow flashing lights, his back turned and the camera zoomed in on his name bejeweled on the back of his jacket.

 

 

Sheri: And his opponent! From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 185 pounds, DIIIIIIEGO!!!

 

Some in the crowd chant "GO DIEGO GO!"

 

He then turns and aims finger guns at the camera. As he yells bang, pyro goes off on either side of him. He then fixes his collar and marches down the ramp. On his way down he pauses to stop and taunt the crowd, taking in the energy from the arena.

 

Kendra: Don't know much about Diego, but we do know he's Dante's brother, and the vibe I'm getting from him is someone who's explosive in and out of the ring. 

 

Simon: I did happen across him backstage, he was just chilling with his headphones, but the dial is definitely up here, and Thor's gonna have his hands full I think.

 

He then continues his march down, climbing up the steps before dramatically stepping along the apron in sync with the violin riff before leaning in the center of the ropes and aiming his finger guns to the crowd before he and the crowd yell “BANG”. He then climbs through the ropes and walks to the center fixing his collar and pointing out to the crowd.

 

The bell rings!

 

Jackson: Thor with a foolhardy charge-in, looking for an early lariat to start with the momentum OH Diego evades and a hip toss! Thor up to his feet but Diego's got a spring in his step early and huracanrana rocks The King of Kings, Thor won't stay down but Diego seems unbothered by it and seamless enzuigiri. Quick run to the ropes, springboard and an elbow drop, going for a quick cover-

 

 

Farrah: ONE! 

 

Simon: Thor gets the elbow up and Diego immediately hooks it, flip arm drag, quick bounce and standing dropkick to push Thor back, Diego taking a run back and coming for the Enzuigiri THOR CATCHES HIM! Powerbomb and Thor goes for the quick cover-

 

Farrah: ONE! 

 

Kendra: Diego rocks his body forward and reverses the pin! Quick thinking by the newbie-

 

Farrah: ONE!

 

Jackson: Thor rolls back and out, basement clothesline to Diego before he can get back to his feet. Thor grabs Diego by the legs and yanks him up, BRUTAL Alabama Slam! Diego rolls back before Thor can get the pin, somersaults OVER Thor, ENZUIGIRI TO THE BACK OF THOR'S HEAD! HE'LL GET YA FROM ALL ANGLES!

 

Simon: He bounces himself up to the top turnbuckle, SHOOTING STAR TO THE BACK OF THOR! Grabs Thor by the back of his hair and yanks him up, runs him into the turnbuckle, catching him on the rebound and going for the double knee backbreaker, THOR HOLDS ONTO THE ROPES AND DIEGO WILL GO DOWN ALONE! 

 

Kendra: People read Thor as a meathead but he has pretty decent ring intelligence. Diego rolls back and coming for a run forward Thor back body drops him out of the ring DIEGO LANDS ON HIS FEET PULLING THOR THROUGH THE ROPES INTO A REAR NAKED! HE CALLS THAT THE CHEAT CODE AND HONESTLY, I'm not mad about it!

 

Farrah: ONE! TWO! THREE! F-

 

Jackson: Diego releases and Thor staggers forward! Diego going for the springboard blockbuster, Thor ducks and rocks him with a lariat!! Diego just got Thunderstruck!!! Pulling Diego up onto his shoulder's... he's got the Hammer simmering in the fire... He's stomping around with Diego just resting there!!

 

Simon: He's waiting too long!! Diego starting to squirm, DIEGO PULLS HIM BACK DOWN INTO A CRUCIFIX PIN, THOR ROLLS OUT, DIEGO GOES FOR THE CODEBREAKER OR AS HE CALLS IT THE ANTE UP, THOR FLIPS HIM BEHIND HIM AND PUT HIMSELF INTO THAT DOUBLE KNEE BACKBREAKER INSTEAD!! IT'S A RED ALERT!!! DIEGO UP TO THE TOP AND.... SWANTON! FINAL CHAPTER!!! 

 

Farrah: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Diego wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, DIIIIIEGO!!

 

Kendra: First match in MAWL, and already qualifying for an Elimination Chamber, which can turn into qualifying for the Epoch Title! Not a bad first go all told!

 

Diego catches his breath, leaning into the corner, smiling ear to ear as “No one will survive” by CFO$ blasts off the PA. He nods his head to the music for a moment then pushes off before doing his dramatic walk to the violin riff. He then turns and aims his finger guns at the camera before yelling “BANG” with the crowd.

 

Jackson: Diego has this crowd at attention, and he's taking in the mom-

 

The arena rumbles with noise—lights sweeping over a restless, roaring crowd. Anticipation builds as the camera pulls back… then slowly zooms toward the big screen at the top of the ramp, looming over the stage.

Suddenly, the lights drop to black.

The crowd reacts instantly.

A beat of silence.

Then “Believer” by Imagine Dragons hits.

 

 

The screen remains black.

Moments later, lyrics cut through the darkness in sharp silver and black, metallic and unyielding, flashing in time with the music.

First things first, I'ma say all the words inside my head

The crowd leans in.

I'm fired up and tired of the way that things have been, oh-ooh

A low rumble rolls through the arena.

The way that things have been, oh-ooh

The silver text fractures, then reforms.

Second things second, don't you tell me what you think that I could be

The beat grows heavier.

I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea, oh-ooh

The words gleam coldly.

The master of my sea, oh-ooh

The camera cuts to the crowd—focused, locked in.

I was broken from a young age, taking my sulkin' to the masses

The screen pulses.

Writing my poems for the few that look at me, took to me, shook at me, feelin' me

The silver flashes faster.

Singing from heartache from the pain, taking my message from the veins

The bass hits deep.

Speaking my lesson from the brain, seeing the beauty through the

A brief pause.

Pain!

The word slams onto the screen.

You made me a, you made me a believer, 

believer

The arena roars.

Pain!

The screen trembles.

You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer

The silver and black blaze.

Pain!

Lights flicker across the crowd.

Oh, let the bullets fly, oh, let them rain

The tension peaks.

My life, my love, my drive, it came from

The music pulls back—

Pain!

The final hit lands.

You made me a, you made me a believer, 

believer

The music cuts out.

The screen at the top of the ramp goes completely black.

One final phrase appears in cold silver and black, sharp and unbreakable.

TRUST US

Silence.

 

After a moment the crowd catches their collective breath.

 

Simon: And I'm getting a report now that Gilberto J, scheduled to be part of the Bloodstar Match, was attacked and taken to the hospital. He will be unable to compete tonight, so we're going to have one more unexpected match to fill his spot.

 

Kendra: Do you think these things are connected?

 

Jackson: It's possible. I haven't been able to shake this eerie familiarity for some time. 

 

Simon: For what it's worth, El Verdad did promise us problems. 

 

Jackson: That may... possibly? Account for the attack on Gilberto though I can't see why... but the Trust Us videos feel different. 

 

Simon: Well, whatever it ultimately means, it's going to lead us to this next match, which will then lead directly into the Bloodstar. 

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Sheri: And will determine Gilberto J's replacement in the Bloodstar Match!

 

 

The lights go dim, as red smoke fills the otherwise blackened arena. The ceiling lights flicker to the fading in of the guitar riff. The music creaks for a second before the main riff kicks in and Omega X steps out onto the stage, stomping and creating an X of flames over his head.

 

 

Sheri: First! From the Endtimes, weighing 355 pounds...one half of The End Begins...OMEGA! X!

 

Omega X walks with purpose and determination down the ramp. 

 

Kendra: At 6 foot 10 and 355, few people are to the size of Omega X. It's not to say none are, but he is an intimidating presence for sure. 

 

Simon: This time last year his partner Genesis was getting into a lot of scrapes and looking for title opportunities, and it seems now Omega is taking his turn. But who's his opponent going to be?

 

The lights go out in the arena. A small flame, flickering in the rhythm of a heartbeat appears in the center of the Titantron. Each heartbeat causes the flame to grow bigger and bigger until it eventually fills the Titantron with flames. Then suddenly the flame goes out before The Devil’s Orchard by Opeth blasts off the PA

 

 

Cisco walks out after the last pause in the intro, slowly.

 

 

Sheri: And his opponent! From San Diego, California, weighing in at 225 pounds, the Devil's Jester, CISCO!

 

Kendra: It occurs to me that though Cisco has been around a MINUTE, I don't think we've actually seen him in Singles' Action before. 

 

Simon: I think you might be right about that.

 

He stops at the top of the ramp to scan the crowd before making his way down the ramp.

 

Jackson: Well, someone half a foot and 130 pounds larger is a hell of a way to make a start. But the Devil's Jester is comfortable in hell. 

 

Once at the ring, he slides under the bottom rope, crawling like a fiend to the center of the ring before spinning himself to his feet just as the lyrics cry out “God is Dead”. Red sparks rain down on him as the lyrics are repeated, him staring directly into the camera, tilting his head slightly before he makes his way to his corner.

 

 

The bell rings!

 

Simon: Big and intimidating men don't often know what to do with themselves around bigger and more intimidating men, they have to adjust their strategy accordingly. Omega won't give Cisco much time to think though, as he boots him deeper into that corner. 

 

Jackson: What happens if one of these people obtain a cut before they can enter the first blood match?

 

Kendra: Essentially your opponent will only need to increase the wound to target you. Best thing to do here is go for the quick, clean kill. Omega stomping Cisco out in the corner, Cisco barely showing concern and an exploder suplex takes Omega out over the corner! Omega guillotines Cisco, cutting off any momentum quickly, and choke tosses him across the ring. 

 

Jackson: Cisco up like it was nothing, charging Omega and this feels like a bad idea, Omega ready for the boot OH Cisco quick cut right, Springboard Dropkicks him off the apron! Omega was caught with his pants down and his leg up! 

 

Simon: For a big dude, Cisco certainly can move like a luchador, and honestly that's gonna be exactly what he needs against Omega here. Omega trying to get to his feet, Cisco taking a run and Tope Con Hilo!! He drops Omega with little to-do! 

 

 

Carter: ONE! TWO!

 

Kendra: Cisco to his feet first, using the apron to pull himself up.

 

Carter: THREE! FOUR! 

 

Simon: Yes, THAT'S why he's using the apron. Not whatever he just shoved in his pocket.

 

Kendra: You're so paranoid.

 

Carter: FIX! SIX!

 

Jackson: Cisco rolls into the ring. Omega trying to get to his feet. 

 

Carter: SEVEN! EIGHT!

 

Simon: He's up!

 

Carter: N-

 

Jackson: Omega slides into the ring at the last possible moment, and he is UNLOADING hammer blows on Cisco, scooping him up and Jumping Powerslam! OOOH I felt the ring shake! 

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Kendra: Cisco gets the shoulder up. Omega scoops him up, and he's going for that High Angle Spinebuster!! Gets him with the Endtimes!! And he-

 

 

Simon: The hell are Chi Eta doing here?

 

Kendra: A cheer, Simon! You never saw a cheer before? I mean of course YOU haven't. 

 

Jackson: The cheer is surrounding the ring, and Carter is trying to get them away from here, oh Cisco making a reach into his pocket and filling his hand with something... BOXING COMBO TO OMEGA'S RIBS! AND A SUPERMAN PUNCH TO FINISH THE DEAL! 

 

Simon: Oh he's not done yet... tosses what appears to be a roll of quarters to one of the Chi Eta girls out of the line of Carter's sight, gets himself back and ready... loading up the foot... OSOK right to Omega's temple!!

 

Kendra: It's all over for, it's all over for...yoooou. 

 

Jackson: Carter finally gets Chi Eta moving away from the ring, turns his attention and isn't that just perfect timing.

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE! 

 

Cisco wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner.... the Devil's Jester.... CISCO! 

 

Jackson: The man is going to stay put, as his next line of competitors is about to come through that door!

 

Sheri: The following contest is a Bloodstar Match and it is for the Hardcore Title!

 

 

https://suno.com/s/3DBwTKXoD9xTSAsv

The arena lights dim, plunging the crowd into shadow. A low rumble of thunder echoes through the speakers, vibrating the ground beneath the fans. Suddenly—a blinding flash of lightning cracks across the stage, followed by a roar of thunder that shakes the rafters. The titan appears. Stonefist emerges from a curtain of smoke, cloaked in Greco-Roman regalia, his golden eyes glowing under the flicker of strobe lights.

 

 

Sheri: And now, Cisco's opponents!! First, from the Peaks of Olympus, weighing in at 380 pounds, the Living Legend... STONEFIST!

 

Each step he takes down the ramp lands like a war drum, synced with booming thunderclaps over the sound system. The crowd erupts into chants of “STONE-FIST! STONE-FIST!” as the storm builds around him. Halfway down the ramp, he raises both fists to the sky. At once, pyro erupts like lightning bolts, streaking from the stage to the ceiling as the arena lights flash white. The sound system blasts a final thunderclap as if the gods themselves answered his call.

 

He ascends the steps to the ring with the slow, commanding pace of a deity, slamming his fist into the mat as he enters. The ring shudders under the blow, the crowd roaring as if Olympus itself trembled. He rises, arms stretched wide, basking in the storm he commands. 

 

Jackson: "The storm has arrived… and tonight, Olympus walks among us!"

 

Kendra: Cisco just took down a big man. So on one hand, he's got no fear about big men. On the other, he's gotta be exhausted from getting tossed around like that and to have to do it again, I guess we'll see.

 

 

Chorker's theme music "Rust" hits with a slow industrial metal track with deep drums, low guitar tones, and mechanical ambience. The arena plunges into darkness. The sound of grinding metal echoes. 

 

 

Sheri: NEXT! From the Forgotten Mills, weighing in at 273 pounds, CHORKER!!

 

Red lights flicker with each step he takes. His fans try to touch him as he walks down but he shrugs them off as his one focus is to win the match and leave. As he reaches the ring, a single white spotlight shines down on him while the music fades into silence.

 

Simon: Chorker had one of the best Win-Loss records in the Round Robin stage of the W2, so we'll see him again later tonight, but this would sure give him a good head-start and some momentum to walk into it Hardcore Champ.

 

He drops his chain onto the floor before stepping into the ring, but thinks better of it and picks it back up.

 

 Loud-repeating booms fills the arena with big letter ‘D’ showing up in the titantron before it changes to ‘Daniel’ as the soundtrack Waiting - Not Forgotten played ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3HP8bog39Q ) through the PA.

 

 

Daniel walks slowly in his long coat through the ramp down to the ring.

 

 

Sheri: Next! From Moultrie County, Illinois, weighing 284 pounds, DANIEL!!!

 

Kendra: This would have been the perfect match to come out masked up. I hope Daniel doesn't regret it, even if he has it on him it's gonna be hard to get it on in the chaos of the match.

 

His eyes are fixed and focused, locking on to his opponent. He climbs the steel stair and enters the ring through the 2nd rope. Finally he’s posing his Destroyer’s Roar with loud big banged pyros from the turnbuckle behind him.

 

 

Sheri: AND THE CHAMPION! Representing Anti-System... from Russia, the Iron Inquisitor and the Hardcore Champion... ALEXANDER BLACKTHORNE!!

 

Alexander Blackthorne pulls the rope down and steps into the ring. The bell rings and everyone goes at it!

 

Kendra: Hardcore Title on the line, Blackthorne has that spike mask that can really come in handy for a match like this. Takes the skull in his hand and smashes it on the face of Cisco, Chorker going to town on Daniel with that chain of his, Daniel is trying his hardest to show resolve and not wince. 

 

Simon: It's not weak to be in pain, and trying to hide it isn't gonna make it any less painful, but Daniel withstanding those blows, he grabs the chain and uses it to pull Chorker into a lariat. Spins around and FIST BY STONEFIST TO THE FACE! DANIEL GETS ROCKED WITH THAT HAMMER OF A HAND. STONEFIST LIFTS IVAN UP AND BRINGS HIM QUICKLY DOWN WITH A HUMONGOUS FRONT SLAM!

 

Jackson: Stonefist just absolutely blasting Daniel with fists to the face. Cisco takes this opportunity to get Chorker's chain and laying into Blackthorne with it! Into the ribs! Onto the back! Onto the face... no! Blackthorne's spikes catch a link and he pulls the chain away! Cisco not deterred though and going for a boxing barrage to the ribs, Blackthorne gets hold of the chain and cutting off Cisco's momentum with a chokeout. 

 

Kendra: The more blood you can rush to his head, the more fun the inevitable bleeding will be. 

 

Simon: Chorker jumps on back of Blackthorne, he wants his chain back, Blackthorne barely registers him but Chorker trying now to put a sleeper.... that's not gonna win the match but it'll slow Blackthorne down. 

 

Jackson: Won't even do that, Blackthorne judo flips him over and keeps the chain on Cisco, Chorker refocuses his energy onto the chain itself and trying to yank that back, STORMBREAKER SPEAR BY STONEFIST TO BLACKTHORNE!! 

 

Kendra: Everyone keeping their energy there, Daniel left to his own devices and that's a dangerous idea. He's digging through his pockets and I think it's Mask Time... ohhh here we go, the Destroyer is among us!

 

Simon: He charges the ring, smashes Stonefist into a corner! Smashes Cisco into a corner! Smashes Blackthorne into a corner! And Chorker to complete the set!! 

 

Jackson: Daniel just charging full speed, a full Sonic the Hedgehog, giving it to the four corners in turn, deciding or I don't even know if he's deciding so much as just landing on Cisco and Blackthorne takes this opportunity to get himself out of the corner, and he's bending down like a rhino, I feel bad for whoever's gonna get it, but Daniel just SMASHING Cisco's face into the turnbuckle repeatedly and the mask starting to bend inward, oh that's gonna get the desired effect as the mask digs into Cisco's face, blood trickling out and that'll do her. 

 

Cisco is eliminated by Daniel! (1)

 

Kendra: This Rhino missile seems to be loaded directly at Chorker... and Blackthorne gores him with that horn! It breaks skin!!

 

Chorker is eliminated by Alexander Blackthorne! (1)

 

Simon: Daniel doesn't seem to realize that he's already got Cisco out of this and still absolutely ravaging his face on that buckle, Stonefist behind Daniel and he's trying to pull off that mask before Cisco gets a full concussion, and he's successful! Daniel's insane momentum is broken and he realizes that he's far beyond beaten Cisco, Stonefist takes advantage of the moment and back body drops Daniel!! It rolls him back and right into the arms of Blackthorne!!! Alexander gets him up and going for the F-5, the spin and NO IT'S A PILEDRIVER! F-8!!! 

 

Kendra: Daniel looks dazed but no blood yet, Alexander a little annoyed, pulls Daniel up DANIEL WITH A BIG BANG LARIAT! BLACKTHORNE EATS MAT! BUT HE GETS UP REAL QUICK!

 

Jackson: Daniel stunned that it barely impacted him, Blackthorne with a headbutt, spins him and TOMBSTONE! SECOND TOMBSTONE! THIRD TOMBSTONE! AND HERE COMES NUMBER FOUR AND OH, THE BLOOD SPLATTER HAS BEEN SEEN ON THE MAT! BLACKTHORNE HAS ALREADY ELIMINATED DANIEL BUT HE'S GOING FOR THE FOURTH ANYWAY!!! 

 

Simon: License to Kill! 

 

Daniel is eliminated by Alexander Blackthorne! (2)

 

Kendra: It's very possible at this point that Alexander Blackthorne is going to retain STONEFIST WITH THE OLYMPUS BREAKER PUNCH AND IT KNOCKS THE MASK SPIKES IN THE OTHER DIRECTION! BLACKTHORNE IS PISSED AND HE'S UNLOADING ON STONEFIST'S FACE, WAIT VANYA IS TRYING TO GET IN BETWEEN THEM-

 

 

Kendra: BLACKTHORNE PUSHES VANYA OUT OF THE WAY AND CONTINUES WAILING ON STONEFIST, TRYING TO DRAW BLOOD FROM A STONE...FIST... Ugh... But Vanya will not be denied and they see the blood trickling down Blackthorne's face! Vanya calls for the bell!!

 

Alexander Blackthorne is eliminated by Stonefist! (1) STONEFIST WINS!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner... and the NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION.... STONEFIST!!!

 

Jackson: And Blackthorne is not accepting this! That's probably why he pushed Vanya, he knew he's been bleeding for a bit. 

 

Simon: I get a sense it's not over between these two.

 

Kendra: Probably not, but it is for now, as we move onto the next match and the next Anti-System attempt at a title defense. 

 

 

Sheri: The following contest is a Buried Alive Match FOR the Buried Alive Title! 

 

 

Steam rises from the entranceway. Eradicus towers on the stage.

 

 

Sheri: The Challenger! From the Gladiator Protocol, weighing in at 330 pounds, ERADICUS!!! 

 

Eradicus storms forward, eyes affixed on the ring and unwavering.

 

https://audio.com/ryan-crowley-hughes/audio/anti-system-theme-song

 

Black smoke rises as tribal drums and distant screams echo

 

Black and Soldado appear with the black urn

 

 

They raise it… and Abyss Devourer crawls out from the curtain.

 

 

Sheri: And the champion! Representing Anti-System, weighing in at 352 pounds, he is the Buried Alive Champion, ABYSS BREAKER!!

 

Red lights flash as he slowly walks

 

In the center of the ring, he kneels, raises his arms… flames appear in the corners.

 

He holds his title up for a moment before handing it to Vanya. 

 

The open grave rises at the stage area, with dirt. Abyss and Eradicus swing at each other and the bell rings!

 

Jackson: Fists flying as these two giants square off, Eradicus grabs an arm and hammerlock to Abyss, Abyss spins him around and a knee to the midsection breaks the hold, Abyss with a snap neckbreaker and every time one of em goes down it's like a tree being chopped. Abyss picks him up and lifting overhead, Military Press and OH the ring just RUMBLED with Eradicus falling back to Earth!

 

Simon: Very few people can do to Eradicus what Abyss Breaker is doing to him, as Abyss gets his arms around Rad's waist and Deadlift German. Eradicus trying to get to his feet, Abyss hooks the waist and Gutwrench Powerbomb! 

 

Kendra: Eradicus rolls out of the ring. He is in no way prepared to get this level of onslaught, it's usually the other way. 

 

Jackson: Collecting himself, around the corner, back up to the apron, oh that's a lot of pressure on the rope as E stands on the top, diving clothesline and Abyss gets wiped! Enough momentum to wipe them both out of the ring! 

 

Simon: That is 682 pounds that just rolled with force into the concrete, I'd be hard pressed to believe that there won't be any cracks from it. Eradicus to his feet and hoping to get a significant momentum shift going, going round the world with a series of stomps to Abyss, really putting boots to him, leaving no spot unstomped and that's a lot of body to go around, how is Abyss staying down this long?

 

Kendra: No it looks like this will stop on the left side, Abyss grabs his ankle OH but Eradicus kicks him in the side with the other foot, getting him up by the ribs and we're going for a spin.... Tilt-a-Whirl Gutbuster!! Locks in a hammerlock, submission won't do much but it'll make it harder for Abyss to bury him if his arm is weakened. Oh, he's really wrenching it. 

 

Jackson: Abyss trying to fight away from it, Eradicus with a Hammerlock DDT, and getting Abyss up and dropping back down with a Spinebuster! Mounts and absolutely unloading punches on the face of Abyss. 

 

Simon: Abyss's mask getting dented, he pushes Eradicus off him with a bench press-style Military Drop, Abyss Breaker lifts Eradicus up into a Vertical Suplex... and holding for maximum bloodflow to the head... does Eradicus even have blood? These lab-created monsters I'm never sure. 

 

Kendra: I guess to your point we don't know what EXACTLY the Gladiator Protocol entailed, or if it accounted for being driven back-first into steel but Abyss brings Eradicus down directly into the steel! 

 

Jackson: Eradicus rising back up, you can see the slight indentations on the ramp from that impact but Eradicus looks Abyss dead in the eyeholes, hands around the neck, lifting and a choke toss up the ramp! 

 

Simon: Both of these titans refusing to stay down, as they launch each other up the ramp in turn and we are at the hole! Eradicus throwing punch after punch to push Eradicus back, ERADICUS CHOKE TOSSES ABYSS INTO THE HOLE! Eradicus starting to push the dirt up... Abyss Breaker is punching at the ground!!! He's trying to destabilize it, and it's working...Eradicus starting to slide a bit as he's dumping the dirt! Down he comes! They're both in the hole!!!

 

Kendra: It's a slobberknocker down there, and one of them will have to climb out to finish the job if they want the belt!

 

Jackson: Of course there is another way.

 

Simon: What do you-

 

 

Simon: JASSY WITH A CRANE!!!! JASSY IS PILING DIRT ON THE TWO BRAWLING BRUTES AND THEY'RE NOT EVEN REGISTERING! PAY ATTENTION! PAY ATTENTION YOU IDIOTS!

 

Jassy wins by burial?

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner... and NEW BURIED ALIVE CHAMPION... JASSSSSY!

 

Jassy stands upon the giant pile of dirt, with her new Buried Alive Championship title. Waving it around proudly at first, then gives herself a jumpscare when she looks at the belt up close. She almost throws the belt away, from the initial repulsed feeling, but soon warms up to it, and gives the hand on the belt a hi-5. She starts dancing on the pile, until she remembers that she's on top of a dirty pile, and doesn't want to get her boots any dirtier than they already are.

 

She feels the pile begin to shift, and a finger portudes out of the earth. Jassy’s Pomeranian dog; Tony spots the digit, and runs up the mound, and bites it. Jassy sees this, and how the finger reacts, so she figures it's best to leave. She yanks her dog by its lead, and scrambles down to the floor. She is met by her comrades Bianca, Iris, and Daria who all congratulate her.

 

 

As they pose, and are just about to turn around and leave, they are met by Danielle Fishel holding the Dead Air title, and a bottle of Armand de brignac Blanc de Noirs Champagne. Danielle goes to offer the bottle to Jassy.

 

 

Jassy looks at Danielle, and then smacks the bottle out of her hand. Danielle looks shocked, and turns to look at where the bottle landed and smashed.

 

Danielle goes to turn back to give Jassy a piece of her mind, but gets slapped in the face by Jassy instead.

 

Jassy: “Fake ass hoe, you’re lucky I don’t snatch the title away from you as well.”

 

Simon: Sex Appeal beating the hell out of Danielle Fishel!! She's a national treasure!! In America anyway.

 

Kendra: She shouldn't have gotten involved where she doesn't belong and-whoop- here's the cavalry! Or should I say the Has Been Brigade!

 

 

Jackson: These women are getting in a tassel over...wine I guess? I can't tell. But what I can say is they're doing this over two rather unhappy giants and I would venture to guess that Anti-System isn't too thrilled about this either, this is the second belt that they'd brought over from Waves of Pain and now it's been taken from them.

 

 

Simon: When you're right you're right, and they've just inserted themselves into this chaos right before their Unstable Title Match! They're throwing fists every which way!!! Do they really want to get into it before the Unstable Tit-

 

 

Jackson: THE GARDEN IS HERE! THE GARDEN TRYING TO CAPITALIZE ON THIS OPPORTUNITY TO SOFTEN UP THEIR WOULD-BE OPPONENTS! BUT THEY'RE JUST GETTING TANGLED UP IN THE NONSENSE TOO! THEY'RE FIGHTING SEX APPEAL, THEY'RE FIGHTING TGIF, THEY'RE FIGHTING ANTI-SYSTEM, IT'S A WHOLE-ASS MESS IN HERE! 

 

Simon: Jassy's working Danielle, but the rest of the Sex workin' Tarrasque over there...he's trying his best to hold him off but it's not going very far...

 

 

Kendra: Lan Zaremba, the former Lazer, here to rescue her partner from the chaos!

 

Jackson: NO! She low blows Tarrasque! I think she just gave a kiss to Daria! She's taken up with Sex Appeal!!! And they're absolutely laying IN on Tarrasque now! This is chaos! 

 

Simon: Oh, the ground is shaking... and here come the big men! Abyss and Eradicus laying waste to the people around them! I somehow don't think we're gonna get this Unstable Title Match tonight! 

 

 

DA: So I think it's become very clear that you are not in any shape to fight tonight, and this disaster needs to be dealt with before the clowns come.

 

Kendra: Clowns? Did she say before the clowns, like mimics "Entry of the Gladiators" clowns? 

 

Jackson: Yeah, I think that's the score. 

 

Kendra: Great. Awesome.

 

DA: So here's what's going to happen. This match is going to be a Fatal Four Corners Survivor Match, and it will be held at Heart Condition featuring Sex Appeal, TGIF, The Garden, and the Anti-System for the Title. 

 

 

DA: Welp. I'm out.

 

 

Black Saber charges in and starts bodying clowns left and right. Saber takes the chain from around his neck and starts lashing the clowns with it. Saber chokeslams two of them and they roll down into some other clowns. 

 

Jackson: Saber is not afraid, nor petrified. 

 

Kendra: He's always known that people would be by his side. God. I hate that I said that. 

 

Simon: Saber with a choke toss absolutely launches a clown at four others. Saber is unstoppable. Runs back on the ropes and BOWLS THE CLOWNS OVER! 

 

Kendra: Saber sends the clowns flying! Grabs two of their clowning hammers and double-fist smashing the clowns! Clowns going everywhere! Saber donks two of their heads together! Takes the legs of a clown and swinging him around! Taking out clowns everywhere! 

 

Jackson: A clown jumps on the back of Saber, going for a headlock, Saber judo flips him, another clown sprays him in the eyes and this is the first impact that actually lands even a little, that sounds like it sizzled a little and Saber steps back but it's not enough to knock him off his feet. 

 

Simon: Saber is just annoyed now, double suplexing two clowns at a time, off the ropes and just booting them into each other. Saber just absolutely wrecking house, and the clowns aren't laughing... oh hell here comes Stitches. 

 

 

Kendra: Stitches grabs Saber by the neck, punching into the stomach! Saber now starting to feel the effect, Stitches' laugh just echoing through the air and cutting brutally through Helsinki Olympic. 

 

Jackson: Blood and facepaint splattered on our ring, Stitches looking to put an end to the devastation that Saber's wrought, his failed wave of wacky, and holds Saber's shoulder in a nerve pinch! Saber starting to struggle a bit, Stitches staring him dead in the eye with a cackle that never seems to go away.

 

Simon: For many this is disturbing... honestly though, it seems that for Saber it's just annoying. 

 

Kendra: OH SNAP a back elbow, another back elbow, throws Stitches off the ropes, Saber coming back SPEAR!!! Going for a cover-

 

Ned F. Lassiter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

 

Sheri: HERE IS YOUR WINNER! BLACK SABER!!

 

Jackson: Saber had ostensibly the hardest task of any of Anti-System, but he was the one who prevented it from being a goose egg of a night. 

 

Kendra: And that's why he's the leader. He came in unwavering and unrelenting, beat through the clowns in front of him, and took care of Stitches.

 

Simon: So Anti-System is done for the night, but we have much more show to go. 

 

Jackson: Including - and I'm excited for this myself - a tag team match involving two of Path 2 Glory's foremost members, the leads of the Firm, and we have that next!

 

 

Sheri: The following tag team contest is scheduled for One Fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

Black smoke fills the arena as Solemn Guardian walks out, Moon standing right beside him.

 

 

Sheri: First! At a combined weight of 365 pounds, Moon and Solemn Guardian!

 

The crowd cheers as Moon and Solemn Guardian walk down the ramp towards the ring. 

 

Kendra: These two seem unlikely allies at first glance, but they have each others' backs, and they were Sophie Desire's first two wins in the W2 which is I suppose how this match came to pass to begin with?

 

 

Dan Hammer and Sophie Desire walk out onto the stage to boos.

 

 

Sheri: AND THEIR OPPONENTS! REPRESENTING THE FIRM... The Tasmanian Terror-

 

 

Jackson: EL VERDAD FROM BEHIND!! THEY KNOCK THE FIRM RIGHT OFF THE DAMN STAGE!!

 

Taga: WE TOLD YOU. WE TOLD YOU WE WOULD CONTINUE TO MAKE PROBLEMS FOR YOU UNTIL YOU HEAR OUR DEM-

 

 

DA: You three are really tryin' it out here, aren't you. Well no one's watchin' your damn video. But what we ARE gonna do, is we're gonna make y'all fight again. IN FACT. This match is now Moon, Solemn Guardian, and The Firm vs El Verdad. 

 

Taga: You're gonna put us in a Handicap Match? 

 

DA: You got two big boys, I'm sure you can handle it. 

 

Zac: We decline.

 

DA: If you don't take the match, I'll strip your titles right here and now. But hey, if you win, I'll watch your little student film or whatever.

 

Eliot: Fine. But can we at least get a fourth?

 

DA: Sure. I'm fair. 

 

Taga: Great. I know Aztec is here, and I'm sure he's proud of what we're doing and he'll come out any moment. 

 

They all wait and watch.... silence. During this time Sophie and Dan walk themselves to the ring, clearly displeased by this turn of events.

 

Zac: Any minute.

 

Silence. Followed by more silence. Until...

 

 

Eliot: Are you here to introduce Aztec?

 

Milo: No, why would I do that?

 

Zac: We just assumed that he heard our pleas and was going to stump for us the way we stumped for him.

 

Milo: I don't even know if he knows you're out here now. But he did hear you earlier.

 

Taga: And? He must have appreciated it.

 

Milo: Um... well. He appreciated the message. Not so much the corporate funding.

 

Eliot: Not all of us can be historically gold-coin rich to fund our projects.

 

Zac: So then why are you out here?

 

Milo: To get away from the undead snake bag.

 

Eliot: Wait... is the bag made of undead snake, or is there an undead snake in the bag?

 

Everyone looks at him.

 

Eliot: What? It's a valid question.

 

DA: holding the bridge of her nose Now hold on, let me get this straight. Not only did this fool bring a fake briefcase but he brought a goddamn undead snake to my show.

 

Milo: Well it wasn't undead when it got here! I don't think. 

 

DA: I fail to see how that makes any of this better.

 

Milo: You and me both. That's why I'm out here. 

 

DA: Well, since you're out here, these idiots need a fourth. And you'll do. 

 

Taga: Really? 

 

Milo: I... it's just my Fracture mask is back there in the dressing room and-

 

DA: With the snake. So do you want to be in the ring, or do you want to be with the snake?

 

Milo: I always forget why I hate coming back here. Well...team...let's do this.

 

Milo walks with El Verdad to the ring, everyone involved in the match silently hating this. The fans sure love it though.

 

DA: Oh, and this is a Survivor Series Match. Like we were supposed to have earlier. In case any of you thought you could quickly end this, one and done.

 

Simon: This escalated quickly. And now we are ready for a match that was gonna be nice and simple to a full-on mess.

 

The bell rings!

 

Kendra: Nobody really wants to be in this match, but Sophie and Taga are going to start off and Taga reaching out for a tag right off the bat, oh but Sophie pulling her right in and Uranage Backbreaker! Coming off the ropes but Zac catches her in the back with a knee shot, gives Taga the chance to run up and leg lariat! Taga tags in to Zac, Zac lifts her up and gutbuster. Sophie rolls to her feet, drop toe hold, gets Zac by the head and snap DDT! 

 

Simon: Sophie tags in to Dan, Dan Hammer to the top rope, Sophie gets Zac in a headlock and Dan down with a diving Bionic Elbow! Dan lifting the big man up, locks him in a Torture Rack, Zac trying to reach out for a tag, Dan spins him 180 and away from the hands of his teammates. Getting it rocking on his back, Zac trying to get to the ropes and Dan just bending him like he's a slinky on the stairs!

 

Jackson: Taga running in with a shotgun dropkick to the back of Dan's kneecaps! And Zac able to parlay it into a side cradle pin!

 

 

Lindy: ONE! 

 

Kendra: Dan kicks easily. Roll back, scoops Zac up and a front slam. Up again, HUGE Spinebuster! Tags Sophie back in, Sophie runs back and goes for the Stomp, doesn't see Eliot tagging himself in on the leg, and Zac eats the Stomp! Going for the pin but Lindy not counting, Eliot in and Stomps Sophie! 

 

Lindy: ONE! T-

 

Simon: Sophie gets the shoulder up, Snap DDT! Off the ropes, can she do this to the big man, WHAT A CANADIAN DESTROYER! Back to her feet, and a Superkick!! 

 

Jackson: Sophie coming off the ropes again, she learned from Dan's mistake and enzuigiri to take Taga off the apron, back around and spinning clothesline to Eliot, back around, springing to the middle, to the top.... Corkscrew Moonsault and we're gonna see Suicidal Tendencies!!! Hammer rushing in with a shoulder tackle to take Zac and Taga off the apron!

 

Lindy: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Eliot Nestlemen is eliminated by Sophie Desire!

 

Kendra: Taga arguing with Milo about not breaking up the pin, he didn't even want to be part of this match, but she's throwing him in. 

 

Milo enters the match.

 

Simon: Sophie tags in Solemn Guardian, Solemn Guardian hits the Precipice on Milo and that's gonna do it!

 

Lindy: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Milo Rivers is eliminated by Solemn Guardian!

 

Kendra: Back to the snake for him. 

 

Zac Davis-East enters the match.

 

Simon: Solemn tags to Dan Hammer, Hammer jumps in with an Alsop Death Drop! Pulls him up, and Wolfie Whiplash clothesline!! Going for the pin-

 

Lindy: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Zac Davis-East is eliminated by Dan Hammer!

 

Taga Pabalita enters the match.

 

Jackson: Tag by Hammer to Moon, Moon whips Taga off the ropes and a big chop, a second, Taga grabs the arm and flips him over into an armbar OH BUT HE ROLLS UP FOR THE COVER!

 

Lindy: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Taga Pabalita is eliminated by Moon!

 

 

Sheri: Here are your winners, Moon, Solemn Guardian, Sophie Desire, and Dan Hammer!

 

Kendra: They each took a piece of the pie and these otherwise rivals come out with the win, shutting El Verdad up at least for now.

 

Jackson: I wonder if Milo is regretting not staying back there with the snake.

 

Simon: Probably. And speaking of regret, SM Heartbreaker is about to be surrounded by people he hates. Which is not an uncommon thing to be fair. 

 

 

Sheri: The following contest is a Lumberjack Match scheduled for One Fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Sheri: And it is for the Inferno Title!

 

 

The lumbers surround the ring as: Utterly Vile, Rox Starr, Violent; Jen Teal, CON, Cole SP, Diana Dresden; Gozu, Nero, Schmetterling; Steve Thunder, Scott Razor, X-Treme Society.

 

Simon: Here come the Lumbers! There appear to be 7 to a side, with Violent and Gozu essentially acting as double people on their sides.

 

The arena turns Dark as sinister laughter is heard before a old radio begins to play through static: You either Die a Hero… or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain

 

 

A long Piano, key note solo is heard before the base of the song begins to play.

 

The lights begin to flash red and back to normal, as Joker is now shown standing on the entrance stage with a cold heartless stare.

 

 

Sheri: The challenger! From the Tombs of the Ancient Pharaohs, Egypt, weighing in at 215 pounds, The Heartless One! PHYYYYSIO JOOOOKER!

 

The crowd boos as Physio Joker meticulously and arrogantly takes his coat off. 

 

Simon: A lot of these people don't really care for Physio either, so maybe SM's not quite in as much trouble as once thought.

 

Jackson: It just becomes a question of who they hate more and who they have more access to.

 

Over the speaker: Wrestling only has one Heartbreaker.

 

 

SM Heartbreaker walks out, going full on aura farm holding up his title. BOOOOOMania rains down throughout Helsinki, with such an intensity that it almost feels that additional BOOS are being piped in from Olympic Stadia past. 

 

 

Sheri: And the Inferno Champion! From Parts Unknown, weighing in at 205 pounds, the leader of Deck of Hearts, the self-professed Most Important World Champion that MAWL has ever seen, a rare interpromotional Grand Slam Champion, the Emo Hunter, the MEOWING Face of MAWL, he tries to win matches faster than it takes to do his intro, the Eurasian Champion, S! M! Heartbreaker! 

 

SM holds the title up again and Deck of Hearts attempt to get the crowd to cheer him, which just makes the BOOS that much louder.

 

The bell rings!

 

Kendra: These two have seen each other in other lives, in other federations, and when Physio Joker first came on our shores SM Heartbreaker was his first target. He beat SM that day with a considerable assist from Steve Thunder and the Muun who shall not be named, and now he wants to do it again where it matters.

 

Jackson: In any other day, on any other card, this would be a Main Event worthy match, but that just speaks to the rest of our card. Physio attempting a lock up, SM bobs and weaves. Physio attempting a swing, SM evades backwards. 

 

Simon: What a coward.

 

Kendra: Not a coward, he's trying to lure Physio towards the Deck side of the rings but Physio catches on, arm drag and armbar in the center of the ring! Physio effective in keeping him away from the ropes and in between him and his cohorts, twisting the arm to increase the pain.

 

Simon: SM needs to figure something out quickly. Violent on the side pounding on the mat to try to direct SM towards him, SM trying to pull to the sound, Physio judo flips him and moves the armbar into a Fujiwara!

 

Jackson: Physio is intent on not letting this slip by him, and if he can put an injury to SM in the process, well that's just gravy on the train. 

 

Kendra: This standing Fujiwara is leaving SM in a difficult position, oh but an idea strikes! SM pulls Physio's leg quickly! Physio comes down into a low blow like he falls off a balance beam! What a clever maneuver! Pulls Physio down into a DDT!! Going for a quick cover-

 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! 

 

Simon: Physio gets his shoulder up, SM shaking his arm off, Physio takes the opportunity to grab his arm and a kick to the bottom of it! Going for it again but SM swings his body around and elbow shot to the face of Physio! Irish Whip to Physio towards the Deck section and Physio tripped by Jen! SM is clearly waiting for Physio to come back, loading up a Superkick, and almost a little disappointed that there's no return trip.

 

Kendra: SM going to take advantage of this new situation PHYSIO WITH A POSSUM PIN! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! 

 

Jackson: Jen pulls the leg of Physio and breaks the hold, looks like she's trying to make up for her gaffe, SM rolls back, Physio to his feet and there's the Superkick! Physio going outside and right into the waiting arms of the Deck of Hearts! Cole, Diana, and Jen just pounding on Physio! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO!

 

Kendra: CON a little hesitant, but Jen gives him a kiss on the cheek and motions him in, that's adorable. Now CON getting in on it and here come the cavalry! Gozu donks the lovers' heads together! Nero with a Nerolyzer to Cole, whips Diana into the steps! 

 

Classic Jenny: THREE! FOUR!

 

Simon: Physio into the ring, SM ready with another Superkick, Physio ducks and hooks the ankle! Ankle lock, SM trying to roll away, Physio bends and twists! 

 

Jackson: SM still has the tournament later on tonight, he can't afford an injury here!

 

Kendra: The title is more important, Jackson. Cole reaching from the outside to shake Physio's balance, SM with an angled single leg dropkick and gets out of the hold, hooks the Half Nelson and Suplex, going for a pin!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! T-

 

Simon: Physio rolls back and out, sweeping leg trip and going for a run, coming back and jumping knee drop to SM's head! Picks him up and the lift... brainbuster! Going for the cover-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Kendra: Still only one as SM gets his shoulder up. Physio gets SM in a headlock and blasting him with bionic elbows on the head. SM gets his hands around the waist and variation on the back suplex! Physio stumbles back. SM taking a run back, he's going to go for the Instrument of Destruction, Dante hooks the leg and SM stumbles, Physio charging forward and Sling Blade! 

 

Simon: Physio pulls SM up and going for those Goodnight elbows! And a one, and a two, and a three and
SM HORSE KICKS HIM TO THE DICK!

 

Jackson: SM saying, I'm not ready for Goodnight yet, read me a story. SM gets Physio up on his shoulder, Death Valley Drops him outta the ring and the Lumberjacks just crowd surf Physio back into the ring, Physio rolls to his feet, Matrix bends away from SM's elbow strike! 

 

Kendra: We don't talk a lot about how limber Physio is, but that right there is part of why he's so damn hard to pin down. Flips himself over, SM boots him back. "Dodge This." 

 

Simon: SM going for the legs, possibly looking for the Hartshooter, Physio kicks back and sends SM running, catches him back and Powerbomb!! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO!

 

Jackson: SM kicks! Physio trying not to let the frustration get to him, going for the sweeping leg trip, SM hops it.

 

Kendra: His work on the Skip It is really paying off.

 

Simon: Physio catches him out though and Spinebuster. He's going to the top rope, we could be getting a Fall from Grace! 

 

Jackson: He'd better hope this works, Violent shakes the ring!!! Physio loses his footing, falls and SM rolls up!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! TH-

 

Kendra: Physio kicks!!! SM is frustrated now, and he's not doing a good job hiding it! I can't quite make out what he's saying but he's cursing out the people on the side... he's got words for Gozu and Nero in particular, Gozu not taking too kindly to it, throws a chair at SM, SM evades, Physio eats the chair!!! SM takes advantage...

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE! 

 

SM Heartbreaker wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner, and STILL Inferno Champion, SM HEARTBREAKER!!!

 

Simon: These two had an intense back and forth. Breaking out of each other's moves. Hitting big moments. And it all ended with a rogue chair. Feels almost anti-climactic. But such is the SM way.

 

Jackson: Well, the next match is going to be explosive by nature... it was supposed to be an Elimination Chamber, but apparently we're getting a Tables Eliminator instead. The Chambers got screwed up in shipping and ended up in France. So we'll just need to use them for Heart Condition. 

 

Kendra: So let's break some wood! Sheri?

 

Diana enters the ring as the other seven make their way down.

 

 

Sheri: The following is a Tables Elimination Match! The winner will remain as the third member of the Epoch Title Match! Our competitors: Mikey Spandex, Tia Mowry, Diana Dresden, InstaGator, Gina Thieso, El Señor Pikachu, Diego, Freewheelin' Destiny Thien! 

 

The eight throw fists at each other and the bell rings!

 

Jackson: Diego and Spandex going right for each other, Diego with an Irish Whip and sends Spandex across the pond, Diana Dresden attempts to catch him with a back body drop, Spandex lands on his feet and attempts a dropkick on Pikachu, he airballs! Pikachu brings him down with a backbreaker! 

 

Simon: Insta and Diana throwing punches at each other, Diana grabs the schnozz and kicking Insta in the stomach several times, Destiny with a headlock to Tia Mowry, Tia pushes Destiny forward and Gina Thieso is ready with a boot!

 

Kendra: Gina Thieso lifts Destiny up, pulling up and the Ripcord, GOLDEN BULL-NO! DESTINY DUCKS UNDER AND ORTON BACKBREAKER! 

 

Jackson: Diego rolls out of the ring, going to try to get some wood in here early. Destiny hits a leg drop across the throat of Gina. Mikey Spandex rolls out of the way of a Pikachu Senton, Pika rolls back to his feet, backflip and Standing Moonsault still catches Mikey. Tia Mowry with a shotgun dropkick takes out the knees of Gator, coming back around and a high knee to Destiny. 

 

Simon: Mowry on a rampage, Sling Blade to Dresden, she can't be stopped DIEGO CATCHES HER WITH A HIP TOSS RIGHT INTO THAT TABLE! We have our first elimination!

 

Tia Mowry is eliminated by Diego Rivera! (1)

 

Simon: She now stars in Splinter, Splinter! 

 

Kendra: BOOOO. Boo this man. 

 

Jackson: Pikachu stomping out Dresden, Mikey Spandex coming in from behind him and punts him upward, gonna help Dresden to her feet NO it's an arm drag, Dresden lands on her feet and swings behind her, that back-swing lariat hits the mark and Spandex down! 

 

Simon: Gator's got the Selfie Stick, into the ribs of Thieso! Spins herself around, into the ribs of Thien! Tries it with Diego, Diego grabs the stick and yanks it forward but Gator is ready with a knee shot to his face. Sometimes you catch the fish and the fish bites back. 

 

Kendra: Diego staggering back a tick, Gator loads herself back and charging forward with a huge Crossbody! The force is too much to withstand and Diego off his feet! Gator back to the outside, momentum carried her too far, but it works out. She gets a table and pushes it into the ring! She pulls out a second table and starts to set it up! One for inside, one for outside. I respect the planning. 

 

Jackson: Spandex launches Pikachu at Dresden! Little man makes an effective projectile! 

 

Simon: Diego back to his feet, going for Thieso and the headlock punch exchange is open for business. Dresden sees the table, gets to it before anyone else can and setting up, she grabs Spandex by the hair and pulls him up onto her shoulder!! We might be getting the Diana Fire through that table!!! Here she comes and PIKACHU MOVES THE TABLE!!!

 

Kendra: Impy little bastard!

 

Simon: Spandex takes the impact but stays in the match, Pikachu admiring the save THIEN FLAPJACKS HIM THROUGH!! HE SAVED SPANDEX TO HIS OWN DETRIMENT!

 

El Señor Pikachu is eliminated by Freewheelin' Destiny Thien! (1)

 

Kendra: Remember this lesson kids, never help anyone.

 

Jackson: That's not the lesson at all we should be taking here DIEGO BACK BODY DROPS GINA THIESO OUT AND THROUGH INSTAGATOR'S TABLE!

 

Gina Thieso is eliminated by Diego Rivera! (2)

 

Simon: Down to 5, which was what the match was going to be originally. Gator a little frustrated but pulls out another table, setting it up THIEN SENDS DIANA DRESDEN FLYING RIGHT INTO IT!

 

Diana Dresden is eliminated by Freewheelin' Destiny Thien! (2)

 

Jackson: Diego and Destiny trading off eliminations, and Insta is going to try one more time to pull out a table. The tenacity and determination is admirable if not a little quixotic. Setting it up DIEGO LAUNCHES MIKEY SPANDEX INSTAGATOR MOVES THE TABLE! She says this is mine HERE COMES DIEGO WITH A CORKSCREW PLANCHA AND TAKES THEM BOTH OUT! 

 

Kendra: Destiny perfectly content to let the fighting outside happen on its own. Diego throws Mikey into the barricade, charging him but Mikey catches and a guillotine! Mikey getting hooks into the ribs of Diego, Diego throws a knee into Mikey's gut, Insta gets her hands around Mikey's waist, Release German, Mikey lands on his feet and Superkick, Insta ducks and Diego catches the foot OH and Diego swings Mikey's foot around to set off a spin kick to Insta! Russian Leg Sweep by Diego and Mikey eats concrete! 

 

Simon: Insta back to her feet, tail swipe to Diego but he jumps it and huracanrana! Mikey back to his feet and Diego swipes him right back down with an enzuigiri! Parkour off the apron and an elbow drop to Insta!! Diego gets Insta up, lifting her up for a Spinebuster and taking her over to the table SPANDEX TO HIS FEET AND GOING FOR A RUN LEAPFROGS OVER DIEGO AND BLOCKBUSTERS INSTAGATOR THROUGH THE TABLE!!! And I'm getting word that statistically it's considered a Double Team! 

 

InstaGator is eliminated by Mikey Spandex (1) and Diego (3)!

 

Kendra: Well, she wanted that table, but I don't think that was what she thought that would mean.

 

Jackson: Diego looking pretty steamed, I don't think he intended on sharing! Unloading punches into the ribs of Mikey Spandex! Elbows to his head! Getting Spandex up for a Samoan Drop SPANDEX REVERSES INTO A CRUCIFIX DRIVER! DIEGO TO HIS FEET, POP UP DROPKICK BUT SPANDEX SLIDES UNDER IT, UP AND JUMPING NECKBREAKER TO DIEGO! Spandex pulling Diego up and that Military Press position... but we know he can easily swing this over to the Marchpast, his sort of Military Jackhammer, so Diego can be in for a world of hurt right about now!

 

Kendra: And DOWN HE COMES! There's little give underneath the floor mat, it's mostly concrete with a little shock absorption, and this is a good time to point out that whoever wins this is gonna need to stick around, as after the Classroom Brawl ends they'll be right back in action, and it doesn't make sense to expend the energy to go all the way back and then come all the way back again. They'll have just the duration of the Dead Air Title Match to recover and then it's right back into the fray. So every bump and bruise is another thing that could cost you later.

 

Simon: That's a really good point Kendra, and ultimately the downfall of explosive wrestlers like these two is that they want to give it their all in every fight. They want to be fighting every moment they're breathing. It's that Roddy Piper mentality that makes them both so engaging to watch and so much a danger to themselves. Spandex using the time while Diego is getting up to go get himself a table, and Freewheelin' Destiny Thien just by nature of not feeling the need to involve herself too much may be making herself the favorite here. Let the boys beat each other down and then pick up the scraps.

 

Jackson: However you feel about it, you do have to appreciate that it is smart play. But Spandex taking a mite too long and Diego back to his feet, SPEAR!!! HE JUST TOPPLED SPANDEX!!!

 

Kendra: Diego gets the Table from the collapsed Spandex and sets it up. Pulling Spandex up and laying him out on it! I think we could be getting the Final Chapter Swanton, going up to the apron... oh, he wants to take this all the way up to the top DESTINY THIEN WITH A RUNNING SPRINGBOARD SHOOTING STAR SNIPES THE KILL!!!

 

Mikey Spandex is eliminated by Freewheelin' Destiny Thien! (3)

 

Simon: Oh, that is not a friendly look on Diego's face right now.

 

Jackson: He wasn't happy about sharing the elimination, but he's downright STEAMED about it getting fully taken. DIVING MISSILE DROPKICK SENDS THIEN STUMBLING ALL THE WAY BACK! She's trying to use the Barricade to pull herself up and he's right on it! The punches are a-comin'!

 

Crowd: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!!

 

Kendra: Destiny is wobbling, this is a good time to get a table and clearly Diego has the same idea... opening up the table and OH! HE'S STICKING THE LEGS THROUGH THE BARRICADE BARS! HE'S... TRAPPING DESTINY ON THE BARRICADE WHY JUMPING TO THE OTHER SIDE AND DROPKICK THROUGH THE BARS!!! I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE GO THROUGH THE BOTTOM OF THE TABLE BEFORE!!!

 

Freewheelin' Destiny Thien is eliminated by Diego Rivera! (4) DIEGO WINS!

 

 

Sheri: HERE IS YOUR WINNER! DIEGO RIVERA!!!

 

Kendra: In his first day, Diego's already notched two wins and now is going to be the X-Factor in the Epoch Title Match. We've got a match to go before he comes back, and he's just gonna be brought some water and given a chance to sit while he waits what comes next. 

 

Jackson: This will also give our ground crew a chance to clean up the ring a little, as we take it to the Classroom, an area our champion is familiar with.

 

 

Sheri: The following match will be a Classroom Brawl and it is for the Dead Air Title! The match will be won when the title is retrieved from the Flagpole above the door! The challenger, from the Shadows of his Own Mind, MANSIN! And the challenger, representing TGIF, from Hollywood, California, DANIELLE FISHEL! 

 

Kendra: Mansin trying to push his way through the cloud of chalk dust, Danielle dropkicks Mansin back, he stumbles over a desk, tries to keep his footing, Inverted Bulldog and bends him over the chair! 

 

Jackson: She's trying to put the hurt on him early, as she pulls his hair over the back of the chair, clearly she's done this before. Chops to his throat and I don't think that anyone was expecting Danielle to get even this amount of brutality on Mansin. 

 

Simon: I was certainly expecting this to be a squash match in the other direction, but she got the jump on him. He's trying to get his arms over and get hold of her, dragging her over the desk and hammer blows to the back of her neck! Guillotines her over the back of the chair! Getting the arm and head and a crossface over the chair, SinStretch!! 

 

Kendra: Weakening Danielle enough to keep her down and out, flops her over the chair and heading towards the flagpole. This should be fairly-

 

Simon: Academic?

 

Kendra: Ugh. Yes.

 

Jackson: A textbook flies in the way of Mansin! And another! Third one hits! Danielle is awake!

 

Simon: Mansin looks - really mostly annoyed, but Danielle to her feet, she's using the top of the desks and taking a run MANSIN BOOTS THE DESKS! DANIELLE GOES DOWN!!! Just FACEPLANTING on the desks and Mansin has a clear path SHE JUST THREW A GLOBE AT HIM! The struggle in her arms is real as she tries to pry down that Blackboard!

 

Kendra: No way. There's no way this is going to work.

 

Simon: Ye of little faith! She does it! I don't know how but she does it!!! She drops a damn blackboard on Mansin! 

 

Jackson: This works for two reasons.... it keeps Mansin down and it gives her the height she needs to get to the flagpole.... she just has to get up and do it.

 

Kendra: Fighting to her feet, she has some but not unlimited time. Here she goes... she's taking the run... Onto the board....Going.... going....

 

Almost there....

 

MANSIN IS UP!!!! MANSIN CAPSIZES THE DAMN BOARD!!! DANIELLE IS LAUNCHED!!!

 

Simon: At this rate, she'll be lucky to make it to Mayday, let alone Heart Condition. Danielle is HURT. Mansin grabs the flagpole. And the title. This one is done. 

 

Mansin wins by grabbing the title!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner, and the NEW Dead Air champion, MANSIN!!

 

Jackson: And the belt is back around the waist of Mansin, he's now a two-time champion, and this feels a bit like things are right with the world. With all respect to Danielle Fishel, who every time puts up much more of a fight than we expect of her, the title really is more Mansin's speed. Maybe she'll have better luck at Heart Condition with the Unstable Title.

 

Kendra: Diego is already back in the ring. So let's keep it rolling.

 

 

Sheri: The following Triple Threat Contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Sheri: And is for the Epoch Title!! Already in the ring, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 185 pounds, DIIIIIEGO RIIIIVERA!!

 

Jackson: You have to think that Diego is operating from a MASSIVE disadvantage, having gone through two insanely competitive matches already and now having to deal with one of the most intense newcomers we've ever seen and another whose Holiday Hellscape findings are going to make her a bit of an X-Factor to say the least. 

 

 

The lights go out and flash blue. The twinkles in the song match spotlights flashing in the ring and entrance. Delilah walks out to cheers.

 

 

Sheri: The next challenger! From Chicago, Illinois, DELILAH!!

 

Jackson: Like Diego, Delilah came in like a house on fire and immediately won a huge opportunity. And now they're both hoping to deal with the champ and walk out with that belt.

 

Kendra: If you think about it, this match is all people on their second card... the championship was won in a complete surprise by who was then Miss Cris. And we have no idea now that she's ended the year proclaiming that era of heroes is over what we're walking into. 

 

 

Watchtower lights sweep the arena, intense enough that everything it touches looks more like shadow than human. Smoke enters the stage. Highlighted in shadow stands La Comandante Traidora, holding the title in the manner of Eve Torres.

 

 

Sheri: And the Champion! From Acapulco, Guerrero, Mexico, she is the Epoch Champion, LA COMANDANTE TRAIDORA! 

 

The crowd boos as the searchlights continue, LCT walking down the ramp staring at everyone with cold eyes. 

 

Kendra: She calls herself "The Only Side of the Law", but her name translates to the Corrupt Official. So who's to say where she stands. What we do know, however, is that she's tall and she's dangerous. And that elevated Brock Lock, what she used to call the Crisletoe but now she calls Detenida, will absolutely end you if you're not careful. 

 

LCT steps over the rope and holds the belt up high. The bell rings!

 

Jackson: She may not be the tallest woman on the roster but at 6'5 she's certainly imposing. She makes use of that height early, tossing the diminutive Delilah with barely a second thought. Diego takes a run at her, needs to get a little more height than he had before but going for that huracanrana, Traidora rejects it with a Powerbomb! Delilah springboards back into the ring and a dropkick that sends Traidora stumbling a little bit, Diego catching her out and a Samoan Drop! Going for the quick cover-

 

 

Danny: ONE!

 

Simon: Traidora gets the shoulder up, Delilah with a handspring cartwheel moonsault on both of them! Quick cover to Tradiora-

 

Danny: ONE!

 

Kendra: Traidora launches her and you better believe the Law won't go down easy. Diego taking a run, gaining some speed, Traidora to her feet, Diego springboard and the elbow shot pushes Traidora right back! He's got her against the ropes, jumps the apron and wraps her up in the Cheat Code! 

 

Jackson: Diego and Delilah focusing on Traidora but it's not a handicap match, and they're gonna have to deal with each other too, but for now a running dropkick by Delilah to the ribs of Traidora. 

 

Kendra: It makes complete sense though to weaken the biggest competitor, get them out of the picture, and make it more of a one v one. If you can render Traidora impotent you get your biggest risk handled.

 

Simon: That seems about where she's at right now as she rolls out to the ring, Delilah and Diego have the opportunity to deal with each other now and springboard elbow shot just barely misses Delilah and she parlays it into a flapjack. Taking a run and going for a springboard CHAIR SHOT BY TRAIDORA KNOCKS HER BACK! 

 

Kendra: No DQ in a Triple Threat but the champ also doesn't need to be involved in the decision and she may have just screwed herself as Diego looks to score the win-

 

Danny: ONE! TWO!

 

Jackson: Delilah barely kicks, but Traidora already on it with a dunking reverse chokeslam NO Delilah reverses into the arm drag!! Going for an ankle lock, barely gonna last as Traidora pushes her back with the free leg and Diego catches her with the Samoan Drop! Charging Traidora, Traidora going for that giant boot, Diego slides under it, onto the apron, going for that springboard elbow again TRAIDORA CATCHES HIM AND CHOKESLAM! DELILAH BEHIND HER AND LA MAGISTRAL!!

 

Danny: ONE! T-

 

Kendra: Diego breaks it up, hip toss to Delilah! Hip toss to Traidora! Enzuigiri to Delilah! Enzuigiri to Traidora! DELILAH WITH A BACKSTABBER! And rolls him over into a Dragon Sleeper! 

 

Simon: Diego over his three fights has been bent every which way, honestly I have no idea how he has any fight left in him. 

 

Jackson: The Riveras and the Scythes would sooner break every bone in their body than give up, and even if they did, they'd try to use the full body cast as a Moonsault assistance. 

 

Simon: As we said earlier, probably not the smartest policy, but damned if it doesn't make good television, as Diego punches at Delilah's head! And again! Fighting to his feet and OPERATION DRAGON!

 

Danny: ONE! TWO! T-

 

Kendra: Traidora coming to break it out, Diego moves and Delilah eats the Stomp from Traidora!! Diego spins her around ANTE UP!!! That Codebreaker and he goes up, looking to go up for that Final Chapter, couldn't land it in the Tables Match but didn't really need to occur for Diego to get the title, but this time it'd certainly be a difference maker OH BUT DELILAH WITH THE DROPKICK TAKES DIEGO OFF THE TOP! HE FALLS OUT OF THE RING!!!

 

Jackson: That may have just ended Diego's night, but it's not exactly working in Delilah's favor either, Traidora back to her feet, and she's got Delilah up and over... holding her over her shoulder for that Detenida!!! We may have our story coming to an end right now!! 

 

Kendra: Ooh, I do not envy Delilah. Having all that blood rush to your head... having your leg put into unholy bends.

 

Jackson: Especially someone as short as Delilah, in order to make that hold work on such a...sorry to say...small leg, you really have to contort it.

 

Simon: Don't count Delilah out yet... she's certainly flailing but she's not strictly speaking tapping....reaching to the rope....stretching herself out.... she gets the corner!! DEADLY NIGHT SHADE!!! UP SHE GOES TO THE TOP AND WE COULD BE GETTING DELIGHTED.... Ohhh but that leg bend is taking its hold on Delilah! She's hesitating and that's all it'll take! Diego with a pipe to that leg and Delilah goes down!!! FINAL CHAPTER TO TRAIDORA!!!!

 

Danny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Diego wins by Pinfall!!

 

 

Sheri: HERE IS YOUR WINNER.... AND THE NEW EPOCH CHAMPION!!! DIIIIIIEGO RIIIIIIVERA!!!!

 

 

Kendra: THAT.... is a hell of a first day on the job.

 

Simon: Sure is. Three matches, three victories, Diego Rivera has gotta be feeling himself right now. AND this means he's the final piece of the Four Chambers Match at Heart Condition, the one bringing the gold to the show. 

 

Jackson: We're gonna see his brother in action after the commercial break, we've got one last leg which will include X-Treme Society as one of the teams in the Tag Gauntlet to get a shot at Heart Condition, the rest of our titles are in play in some fashion, and of course the W2 Tournament itself. 

 

Kendra: As a reminder, the winner of that tournament will be $100 K richer, will get the trophy, and will be the only one who'll get to challenge the Legacy Champion whenever they want. The other briefcases don't include the Legacy Championship, but the W2 winner will get that honor at some point during this year. 

 

Simon: And will join in a rare tradition including Schmetterling, Sting Ray Steve Thunder who is going for his second win, Zora Luthor, and more. 

 

Jackson: So you've all got a lot to look forward to, but that's all coming after our final commercial break.

 

 

The camera fades in on the backstage hallway where Diego sits, cradling the EPOCH Championship in his arms.

 

 

Diego: Now THIS is how you introduce yourself.

 

He smiles, wiping the blood from his forehead. He pushes himself to his feet. As he makes his way down the hallway, he runs into a familiar face. Dante Rivera is walking down the hallway, typing away on his phone. Diego stands in his path, Dante stops in his tracks.