JUNE 30, 2025
SAN FERNANDO, TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO

MANNY RAMJOHN STADIUM

 

Fireworks go off in the stadium as Nicki Minaj "Chun-Li" plays on the sound speakers. The crowd goes nuts.

 

Colin (OS): WELCOME! WELCOME! WELCOME!! I am Colin McRae and we are here in beautiful Trinidad and Tobago. This is going to be my last official time on the announcing desk, as I have accepted my role as General Manager of Madness in the wake of EM He's utter stupidity that led to our show's roster splitting. 

 

 

Colin: Because our show is about to be split in two, and we don't know who is going where, today is going to be a different beast of a show. It doesn't make sense to get any title matches going, any storylines, until we know who will be where. Instead, what we will be doing, is a company wide over-the-top Rumble. The winner of this Rumble will, in 2026, get a title match against a unified champion of sorts, which will be determined later on in the year. Kendra Mavis called out today, so I will be joined instead by Trini Icon, the incomparable Nia Long.

 

 

Nia: Happy to be here but what did y'all do to that poor woman that she called out today?

 

 

Simon: I...got promoted to lead commentary over her. It's a bit awkward.

 

Nia: Yeah I'll bet, y'all didn't pick me for imagery I hope.

 

Colin: No, actually our plan was going to be to call you to replace me...so I guess I'm the replacement...that sounds even worse...

 

Simon: Anyway, Colin, let's talk about this Rumble.

 

Colin: Right. This Rumble is going to consist just of the active roster members. It's based on the rankings for the first half of this year, with the lowest ranked coming in first and working our way through the top of the rankings. These rankings were based on wins in all forms of matches as well as numbers of eliminations in matches just like this. As such, we're going to announce the numbers of the rankings, not place in the Rumble, so the numbers will be backwards.

 

Nia: So is this giving the winners more of a chance to win? Wow, y'all are really messy.

 

Simon: I see where you'd say that...no, it's more giving the people at the bottom a chance to get their numbers up. It's essentially a dark match with the eliminations counting and not a loss. The person who does get the win, yes, will be marked as a win, but no one's rankings will be screwed with otherwise in a bad way.

 

Nia: I feel a bit better about bein' here now. So let's do this thing!

 

 

Ash: The following is the No Tomorrow Rumble! The only way to eliminate your opponent is to have them go over the top rope with both of the feet touching the ground! Two individuals will start and every 90 seconds or if the ring contains only one individual, someone new will enter this match. Rather than be called in from 1 up, the competitors will be counted down based on their current Power Ranking for this half of the year! So first, the individual coming in at number 193-

 

 

Ash: From Zadar, Croatia, weighing 277 pounds, TIM TAGI!

 

 

Tim Tagi runs in, high fiving the first row. 

 

Colin: Much love to his man, who brings energy to the crowd even with his lack of wins so far. 

 

Ash: AND! The individual at number 192-

 

 

Ash: From New Islington, Manchester, weighing in at 190 pounds, STORM RIDER!

 

 

The bell rings!

 

Nia: Damn, there's 82 pounds between 'em? This already doesn't look good for Storm in something where you gotta get someone up.

 

Colin: You'd think that, but Storm rushing in with a huge barrage of rib punches, Storm Rider backing him up to the rope, Tim doubling over and Storm scoops him up into a Fireman's Carry, launches him out with a Samoan Drop!!

 

Tim Tagi is eliminated by Storm Rider! (1)

 

Nia: OKAY Storm! Crush that Dream! Wait, so Ash said if the ring is empty too?

 

Simon: Yep. So no rest for Storm Rider.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Storm Rider scooping Rave N quickly up to hit with another Samoan Drop...Rave gets her toes hooked on the ropes, wrapping herself around the rope, pulling herself back slingshot style and launches her body into the back of Storm Rider!

 

Nia: I gotta give her credit for that move. Smart use of physics, girl. 

 

Colin: And an elbow drop to the face of Rider. Rave N with an Exploder Suplex to Storm Rider and launching him to the outside!

 

Nia: Are people usually this quick to hit the ground?

 

Simon: Yeah these matches often end up more a gauntlet than a rumble proper. 

 

Storm Rider is eliminated by Rave N! (1)

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Nia: Yes! He can get it!

 

Simon: Well, Rave N throwing fists and hitting him in the gut with a knee so he got SOMETHING.

 

Nia: Not what I meant.

 

Colin: Prop gets her legs and drives her down with an Alabama Slam! 

 

Nia: YES! Oh and Rave sweeps him down at the feet. 

 

Simon: And she follows it up with an Asai Moonsault. OOOH Prop flips her out of the ring!! 

 

Rave N is eliminated by Propaganda! (1)

 

 

Nia: Oh I don't like this dude already.

 

Colin: You are not alone. A headbutt by Pitta to Prop. Prop responds with a clothesline that gets Pitta wobbling by the ropes, Pitta maintains footing and POWER SLAP TO PROP!

 

Nia: That sound my dude Prop tumblin' back but he's not givin' up, Prop jumps back up with a dropkick. 

 

Simon: Pitta gets the legs before Prop lands to the ground, big swing into the turnbuckles! POWER SLAP NUMBER 2! 

 

Nia: Drop toe by Prop and Pitta eats turnbuckle! Hope you like the taste. Prop knees his head into the buckle further. Yeah man let's get some momentum goin'! 

 

Colin: Halfway to our next person, Pitta spins around with a discus lariat that rocks Prop. Prop back up and an arm wringer flip. Stomp to Pitta's slapping hand, trying to weaken its effectiveness. That's good strategy. OOOH AND A LOW BLOW BY PITTA. 

 

Nia: Oh that ain't right. Ref do somethin'!

 

Simon: Ref can't help in this situation, they're there really just to make sure no one comes back in once they're out. No rules otherwise. Prop returns it in kind and now Pitta is also crumpled! Both of em on the ground and Prop wrenching the fingers on Pitta's slap hand. 

 

Colin: Pitta getting Prop up, and pushing him away, and the countdown begins-

 

10! 9! 8!

 

Simon: PITTA WITH THE POWER SLAP AND PROP OVER THE ROPES!

 

7! 6! 5!

 

Colin: PROP'S FEET ARE DANGLING, FLIPS HIMSELF UP AND HURACANRANA TO PITTA!!! PITTA IS OUT!!!

 

Pitta Power is eliminated by Propaganda! (2)

 

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

 

4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Rave N's partner hits the scene and she's now alone with the man who eliminated the first half. Will she get her vengeance here? 

 

Nia: How they not figure out who Edgar is in this time?

 

Simon: She charges him...Pop Up Powerbombs her right out of the ring!! 

 

Lenore Usher is eliminated by Propaganda! (3)

 

Colin: No vengeance to be had, as Prop has cleaned out the entire team here. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Nia: Alright Chicken Man, you should just dump your own ass out at this point.

 

Colin: Agreed. He's trying to swing at Prop, but Prop is a man on fire, and he ducks, Scottish Sickle to the back of Tuck's head. Prop takes a run and coming back around, STO pushes Kenny the other way.

 

Simon: Kenneth grabs his leg to trip him. Prop rolls up, can't keep him down, gets Kenneth up and POWERBOMBS HIM OUT! 

 

Nia: Hell yeah! Keep the party going, king!

 

Colin: Wait...Kenneth's feet didn't touch the ground! They landed in the air, he rolls himself in just a way to get to the steps...Prop watching the entrance he isn't even aware, Kenneth back in the ring and he just launches Prop out of the ring!!!

 

Propaganda is eliminated by Kenneth Tuckey IX! (1)

 

Nia: Well...he had a good run. But I don't love this plantation looking fool being the one to end it. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Nia: Okay, my fellow 90s bitch, I love it, and she's got Kenneth by the head, she just pulls him right outta this thing!

 

Kenneth Tuckey IX is eliminated by Jodie Sweetin! (1)

 

Colin: Her music barely stopped and she wasn't letting the Colonel get his grease on her!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Ishani got her quick call up from GHW at International Incident last week, it didn't go amazingly, but perhaps this will get her momentum going. 

 

Nia: 90s girls are made of tougher stuff, this young gun doesn't know what she's getting into.

 

Simon: Ishani wasting no time, Polish Hammer to Jodie. Jodie back to her feet quickly, release German Suplex to Ishani, Ishani rolls to her feet and chop block.

 

Nia: But see what I mean, tougher stuff, huge kick to the midsection of Ishani. 

 

Colin: Ishani doubled over, Axe Kick by Jodie WAIT ISHANI GRABS HER LEGS AND LIFTS HER UP...BACK BODY DROP OUT OF THE RING! AND JODIE IS...NO!! ONLY ONE FOOT ON THE GROUND!

 

Nia: Tougher. Stuff.

 

Simon: Jodie rolls in, rising up with a low blow kick to Ishani and Double Underhook DDT!! SWEET N LOW!!! 

 

Colin: Ishani clearly in pain, but hits the drop toe hold. Jodie kicks her in the face getting to her feet, Ishani pulls her back down and locks in an STF! 

 

Nia: But she can't get a win that way, right?

 

Simon: Correct. Ishani lets go of the hold and Jodie going to body drop her out, Ishani hits the apron but doesn't hit the floor... holding onto the apron...Jodie with a slide kick and Ishani is out of here!

 

Ishani is eliminated by Jodie Sweetin! (2)

 

Colin: Ishani's rise to success is going to be on hold for a bit-

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Jess comes in and Jodie boots her right back out! 

 

Hot Mess Jess is eliminated by Jodie Sweetin! (3)

 

Nia: Guess she's not a champion.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Oh, this is amazing. E.M. not only is pushed to fight in this, she's the 11th worst person in this company.

 

Simon: Jodie Sweetin charges E.M. OH SHE DUCKS! JODIE IS OUT OF HERE!!

 

Jodie Sweetin is eliminated by E.M. He! (1)

 

Nia: DAMN! Guess it was a good run.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: Wait, are he and his brother officially roster?

 

Colin: They signed to MAWL earlier this week, right now as free agents. But we save all our guests' interactions in the ring so that if they sign with wins under their belt, they get put into the rankings. 

 

Nia: Oooh EM blowing smoke in the face of Derek, and then a brutal slap. And a low blow to Derek!! A rough boot and Derek goes over...wait...no, he holds on! HURACANRANA TO E.M. AND SHE LANDS ON HER BACK, BUT BOTH FEET ARE STILL UP! EM snaps her fingers and two people in masks lift her up and put her back in the ring. Damn, I see why y'all do this.

 

Colin: The masked individuals grab Dodgeball and they're trying to pull him over the rope...he fights them off but EM elbows him in the head HE GRABS HER ELBOW AND TOSSES HER ALL THE WAY TO THE FLOOR!! 

 

E.M. He is eliminated by Derek Dodgeball Lane! (1)

 

Colin: Wait! E.M. sending in the two hooded wrestlers...they're not supposed to be in this! 

 

Nia: For the first time this match we've got three people in the ring! 

 

Simon: To be more precise, it's just become a two-on-one situation...and the taller one launches Dodgeball over the ropes! The two goons celebrating...the taller one throws the shorter one right at E.M. He!! She lowers her hood...it's AJA LIONESS!! I HEARD SHE MIGHT HAVE BEEN CIRCLING THE MAWL ARENA!! 

 

Derek Dodgeball Lane and Hooded Goon are eliminated by Aja Lioness! (1/2)

 

 

Colin: Aja is in talks with multiple companies, and I knew we were in that mix but nothing has formalized yet. But I guess she found her way into this rumble.  

 

Nia: Of course, this means the ring is once again empty, which means a whole other countdown begins.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Nia: Aja Lioness doesn't seem to have patience for this and charges him right off the bat.

 

Colin: She hits a Running Spinebuster! And a stomp to the throat of Caster. Caster grabs Aja's foot and a leg whip at incredible speed and she lands on her head. Caster up, a little run back and a Stomp to the head! 

 

Nia: Aw hell no, let me at this dude.

 

Simon: And he hits her with a knee drop.  And she trips him! Getting that momentum back and following up with a punch to his leg...he picks her up and trying to flip her over, she jumps back in with a single-leg dropkick to Caster. And exploder suplex by Lioness to Caster, trying to send him out-yep! He's out!

 

Cody Caster is eliminated by Aja Lioness! (3)

 

Nia: Thankfully he's gone, but can she finally break the curse of 3?

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Makes sense looking at him, looking like Robert DeLeo of STP that that's what he'd come out to.

 

Colin: Aja isn't impressed by the song choice, she comes right in and a knee to Christian's face, the other knee coming in right behind. And European Uppercut to wrap it up. Oh, not quite finished, she kicks him in the side.

 

Nia: Look at her struttin'. Okay, queen. I respect it.

 

Simon: NOT Smart ultimately, Christian with a brutal back suplex to Aja, she is smarter than turning her back on him. Christian with a fist drop, picking her up and CHOKESLAM OVER THE EDGE! The Curse of 3 claims another!

 

Aja Lioness is eliminated by Christian Reed! (1)

 

Nia: DAMN. 

 

Colin: This top of the order was always going to have a hard way to go.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Bea gets Christian up and Attitude Adjustment over the ropes!

 

Christian Reed is eliminated by Bea Attitude! (1)

 

Nia: No time wasted! Christian sees the other side of the match and Bea won't have too long to wait to see who's in next.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: At first I was like "no way Rade is this low" but yeah, no, this makes more sense. 

 

Nia: I noticed that this has been all alphabetical? Or like reverse alphabetical? 

 

Colin: Yeah, we're almost through the section of people who until tonight have not been successful with a single win or elimination. If memory serves, I think AM Brooks may be the only one left who fits that bill to come in. 

 

Simon: Bea with a huge kick to the back of Ann's knees, taking her off her feet. Grabbing the leg and kicking at the back of her knees! Bea seems to remember that Ann has had some leg injuries in the past, and she's looking to reaggravate them. Ann boots her away at the ankles, causing Bea to stumble a bit, and is able to get back to her feet.

 

Nia: Damn, they really know where to get ya. Ann unties a turnbuckle, Bea with the run and Ann smashes her face into it!

 

Simon: She's not normally a wrestler, but she seems to be approaching this as a manager would. Look for the shortcuts. Don't try to get too into the weeds with grappling. She's got Bea by the hair and going for turnbuckle smashes!

 

1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10!

 

Colin: Bea very wobbly and Ann loading back, looks like she's going to go for the clothesline and BEA LAUNCHES HER OVER!

 

Ann "Atomic" Lee is eliminated by Bea Attitude! (2)

 

Colin: See, and she approached it like a wrestler and was not able to get the job done. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Yep, you were right. And this woman has far more of a pedigree than many of the others in, but Bea Attitude is unbothered and a face punch. AM WITH A TILT-A-WHIRL HEADSCISSORS AND AIMED PERFECTLY! BEA ATTITUDE HITS THAT EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE! BEA IS WOBBLING, AM COMING UP WITH THAT SHIIIIIINING WIZARD! BLASTING BEA OVER THE ROPES!

 

Bea Attitude is eliminated by AM Brooks! (1)

 

Colin: I can't believe that a woman of this level has been around as long as she has, and is only now getting her first elimination, let alone win. Is it possible that being out from under the thumb of CN Starz and EM He may actually be what she needed this whole time?

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Nia: How these people gonna boo Sabrina the Teenage Witch? Show some respect! 

 

Colin: She and her team play real dirty here.

 

Nia: OH! Makes sense with the music, she's with Jodie. 

 

Simon: Yep, and two others still to come. Which is good, because AM Brooks just grabbed her by the hair and tossed her right back out. 

 

Melissa Joan Hart is eliminated by AM Brooks! (2)

 

Nia: Oh damn. She didn't even last the length of an ad break.

 

Colin: If only the pacifier trend were that quick to go.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: This man came in as Dino H. Boro, part of Tino Sabatelli's Anti-System mafia, but decided not to stick by either Tino or the rest of the team when they betrayed Tino. Now he's hot on the trail for a win.

 

Simon: And he's face to face with the woman responsible for his then partner Gina Thieso betraying the team first, AM Brooks. So this is a trail he's been seeking to get to the end of a while now.

 

Nia: They get face to face and she goes in for a slap, he catches her wrist and bends it back. And the defiant sneer on her face as she kicks him right in the case files! 

 

Simon: Clearly losing his cool now, he swings a giant lariat, she ducks and a sweep kick to take him off his feet! OOH and she stomps on his throat! 

 

Nia: The cold viciousness of this dame, I am here for it. 

 

Simon: She used to skip around the ring and now she saunters. It's a glow-up, I have to admit. But it comes at a cost, her gloating strut gives Falcon a chance to get up and she walks right into the Chokeslam!! He walks her over to the edge and lifts her up...SWINGING HIS LEFT ARM AROUND TO THE BACK OF HER NECK AS HE DROPS HER OUT!! CASE CLOSED!!! 

 

Nia: Pun intended?

 

Colin: That's what he calls that move, but in his case...yes.

 

AM Brooks is eliminated by MAWLTese Falcon! (1)

 

Simon: It's a good thing we're moving right into countdown. I don't know if I could handle a narration voiceover from him. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Nia: Look, I am all for Furries and whatever alternative sexualities are out there, I'm a woman of the times, but this dude comin' out here like a Lisa Frank Fever Dream. Did some Millennial's childhood backpack come to life? Are we in a Life-Size situation?

 

Simon: I dunno, but he's goin' for a dropkick on Falcon FALCON GRABS HIS LEGS AND DISCUS THROWS HIM OUT! 

 

Kitty! is eliminated by MAWLTese Falcon! (2)

 

Colin: One animal was harmed in the making of this rumble.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Kan Laboed! Kid Midnight himself! 

 

Simon: Falcon's not too impressed and meets him with a punch. Gets him by the throat...squeezing tight and Midnight flailing...the clubbing blow AND MIDNIGHT CATCHES THE ARM IN THE AIR! MIDAIR JUDO FLIP!!! Lands in a handstand and he's not out...but Falcon sure is!

 

MAWLTese Falcon is eliminated by Kan Laboed! (1)

 

Colin: The sheer Ring IQ and timing it takes to pull something like that off is nothing short of magnificent. Laboed handsprings himself back onto the apron and he'll continue this match.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Nia: Aw hell no, another one of these magicians?

 

Colin: She goes for a spinning backhand HE BACKFLIPS OVER IT AND BOUNCES FROM THE LANDING RIGHT INTO A FRONT FLIP DROPKICK! 

 

Nia: I feel like he coulda just ducked.

 

Simon: Kan always takes the past of most resistance. But the dropkick doesn't take Indigo all the way down and she's ready when he lands with a boot sending him backwards. Off the ropes and takes him off his feet with a running STO. 

 

Colin: He doesn't stay down long though and up with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors! He gets her over the rope, but she catches herself before going out and rolls herself over the ropes and right into a backflip mule kick! 

 

Simon: He gets rolled back under the ropes, pops himself back up for a Springboard Whisper in the Wind! She tries to get out of the way but is only moderately successful and is still grazed by the attempt. Kan running dropkick INDIGO OVER THE EDGE AND CATCHES HERSELF AGAIN. She attempts to suplex Kan over the apron, oh he's got his leg locked on the rope, he's not going anywhere, she settles for a deep eye poke. 

 

Nia: Oooh with those acrylics too. That's a trip to the eye doctor for sure.

 

Colin: I'm sure Iris will take a look after the match but yeah he should probably go get that checked, holding his eyes but still able to sense Indigo coming in, moves out of the way of her springboard clothesline attempt and a sweep kick taking out the back of her knees. 

 

Simon: Kan shaking it off, off to the ropes and springboarding off the middle for a moonsault knee drop! Off to the turnbuckle, this may be his only chance to do this while Indigo is down, to the top DOUBLE ROTATION MOONSAULT! SUNDOWNER! 

 

Colin: Indigo waits for Kan to get off her and hits him with the drop toe hold. To her feet and going for his feet, Kip Up Kangaroo Kick pushes her back!! High jumping double knee by Kan and here comes the countdown clock...we officially have a Rumble instead of just an over-the-top gauntlet!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Halley Comet has, as the kids say, entered the chat. 

 

Colin: And she's coming all gas no breaks cartwheel into a front flip into a dropkick takes Kan OVER THE ROPES AND HE'S O...WAIT, HE LANDED WITH ONE FOOT UP! KAN IS STILL IN THIS!

 

Nia: It was a rough landing though, as you see his back shoulderblades hit the apron on the way out, so he'd be smart to slow down the flippy flips.

 

Simon: SHE SUICIDE DIVES HIM THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPES AND HE'S DONE! BUT BECAUSE SHE WENT THROUGH THE MIDDLE SHE'S SAFE! WHAT A BRILLIANT PLAY! 

 

Kan Laboed is eliminated by Hyperspeed Halley Comet! (1)

 

Colin: That was probably the smartest thing she could have done...Indigo can't just knock her off the apron, Comet has to come back in and be sent over the top. 

 

Nia: Or she can come out from the middle rope and throw fists. It won't eliminate her but it will hurt her.

 

Colin: She grabs a kendo and to the ribs of Comet...Comet gets back in the ring, she wants no part of this. Indigo grabbing a chair and getting herself back into the ring COMET VANDAMINATORS INDIGO WITH HER OWN CHAIR AND SENDS HER FLIPPING OVER THE ROPES!

 

Indigo is eliminated by Hyperspeed Halley Comet! (2)

 

Simon: Pro tip, never hold a weapon in front of your face with a quick opponent.

 

Nia: It's like that old "if your hand is bigger than your face" trick. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Nia: You definitely ain't in Kansas.

 

Colin: Comet greets her with a low dropkick, taking her out at the knees. Keeps the momentum going, sliding herself under the top rope and a little gymnastic trapeze style action using that top rope for a moonsault.

 

Simon: Once again, ring IQ on display, knowing enough to not try to go over the top in case the move gets blown. Jumping elbow drop to keep the pressure on. Switching up the technique and stomping down on Dorothy's arm!

 

Nia: Harder to take em over if your arms are sore. 

 

Colin: Comet clearly thinking the same speed, and a rolling arm drag into an armbar! 

 

Simon: Oooh this proves to be Halley's first mistake against Dorothy, she moved out of her comfort zone of frenetic and tried to play in an unfamiliar sandbox and Dorothy uses her free arm to swing around with a lariat. 

 

Nia: She's hurtin' though, you can see her shake the arm off a little, and Comet tries to arm whip her out...she lands on her feet on the apron and trying to pull her over...Comet with a...what the hell is she doing?

 

Colin: She's doing an over the rope modified Black Widow Stretch, putting the hurt on that arm and choking Dorothy over the rope. It's more aggressive a move than we normally see from her, but it's proving effective. Dorothy gasping for air, Comet refusing to let go, but she doesn't technically have to, this is no DQ. Dorothy thumps down onto the apron, she about to roll over? No, she just barely able to roll in.

 

Simon: Comet feeling herself now with Dorothy in a brutalized state, she could just dump her over but she wants to get flashy, walking over to the corner with the exposed turnbuckle, a little Sting WOOOO to the crowd DOROTHY PULLS THE ROPE!! COMET FEELS THE STEEL AND FLIPS BACKWARDS ONTO THE MAT...I THINK SHE LANDED FACE FIRST!

 

Nia: Both of these women are just flattened now! If someone comes in soon, they can just dump em both over. 

 

Colin: Who's gonna get up first...it looks like...Comet may be stirring, looking over at Damage...scooping her up and scoop slamming her out of this match.

 

Dorothy Damage is eliminated by Hyperspeed Halley Comet! (3)

 

Simon: She is gassed. I don't know how she thinks she's going to make it 169 more people. 

 

Colin: If she's got one more elimination in her, she'll get to the top of the elimination board for now, and I'm sure being atop that board will mean...something.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Here comes Derek's big bro. He goes to scoop Comet up and end her reign, she scissor hooks his leg and drops him down!

 

Simon: She's really not giving up! And punch to the back of the leg of Dion. Dion not having it, scoops her up and out she NO! she holds onto the rope AND EATS A FASTBALL SPECIAL....SHE'S OU NO ONLY ONE FOOT AND SOMEHOW STILL SURVIVING THIS! She spears inward and knocks Hardball down.

 

Nia: How is she not done? 

 

Simon: She is having some trouble getting up, but she's staying in this match. Dion with a series of rib kicks though, almost like she's the base and he got a wrong call from the ump. 

 

Colin: Dion trying it again, lifting her up and just dumping her out and this time it takes. 

 

Hyperspeed Halley Comet is eliminated by Dion Hardball Lane! (1)

 

Simon: It does mean that we still are in a three-eliminations hold, but Hardball is ready to potentially break that barrier. Hardball standing on the ropes, taunting the entrance. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Nia: NOBI FROM BEHIND JUST TAKIN' DUDE OUT WITH A SWEEP KICK! See ya!!

 

Dion Hardball Lane is eliminated by Chef Nobi! (1)

 

Colin: Goes to show, you never think the ropes are safe. 

 

Simon: Nobi using his brain and stepping towards the center of the ring.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: Amazon Pryme is an old friend of Zora Luthor's who shares her passion for power, both super and financial. 

 

Colin: A savvy but cruel business mind with a penchant for deforestation and expediency, and we can see the second in play with the lightning quick punches to the ribs of Nobi, and a harsh elbow to his back, AND a sharp knee to the gut and I think I just heard Nobi dry heave from that! She's just picking him apart! Axe kick to the head!

 

Nia: Honestly? I can't shade it. You get it queen.

 

Simon: She goes for another axe kick OH NOBI CATCHES THE LEG, SWEEPS THE OTHER! Holding the leg and a series of quick kicks to the back of the knee. She pushes him back and away from her, but he comes back with a basement knee shot at full speed. 

 

Colin: Amazon up and getting herself to the ropes, CHEF NOBI CHARGES HER AND KINSHASA! Over the edge she goes!! She hits the ground and...it looks like she still has a foot on her other foot. If she can keep herself in this, it will be Amazong.

 

Nia: Boo. Boo this man. 

 

Simon: Amazon coming in, ducks the high kick and Scottish Sickle! She gets the feet and she's going for the Olympic Hammer Throw, also known as the King of Swing, and out he goes!! And she is...oh, looks like he went through the ropes not over, so he's still in it. He's digging under the ring and some kendo sticks are coming out to play! Into the ring he goes, he's got the kendo...is he using them as...chopsticks?

 

Nia: He's trying to lift her up, having some difficulty because of course he is, but close to the ropes and kinda choking her out, plan B he takes her legs out from over her, and she's trying to hold on....she's got her feet up and trying to get herself back...

 

Colin: He just whacks away at her hands, her face, ribs, it's amazing that he's able to get her palms, and she can't hold on! He hacked her out of this match! 

 

Amazon Pryme is eliminated by Chef Nobi! (2)

 

Simon: Nobi showing techniques with weapons I've rarely seen in this ring, usually a kendo stick here gets smashed over someone quickly.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Nia: WOOO! OH HELL YEAH IT'S MY GIRL TIA! HEY GIRL! 

 

Simon: Tia goes under the ring before she goes into the ring, pulling out a fire hydrant!! INTO THE RING AND SHE IS BLASTING HIM WITH IT!!! HE GETS PROPELLED BACK AND AS SHE APPROACHES HIM SHE BLASTS HIM OVER!!!

 

Chef Nobi is eliminated by Tia Mowry! (1)

 

Colin: I think she emptied that whole canister on him! 

 

Nia: But hey we 90s bitches get things DONE!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Nia: Oh goody we got us a dude magician.

 

Colin: Tia backing up...ohhhh she surfs the foam floor and smashes the canister in his face! And again over his head! She goes one more time, oh he ducks and back body drop over! She hits the apron but chooses holding on over keeping the extinguisher. She attempts to pull him over the rope but he plants firm...ohh well doing a face scrub on the rope I guess is a consolation prize.

 

Nia: Consolation nothin', she pivoted! 

 

Simon: And a cheap kick to crumple Steve, and in with a sunset flip powerbomb.  Tia lining him up...going into position for a handstand, oh I think we've seen this before...Steve to his feet and Tia with the handstand headscissors...bending him back...BENDING HIM ALLLL THE WAY BACK.....AND DRIVING HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE MAT! SEVERED SISTER! 

 

Nia: HELL YEAH SIS! OH I AM INTO THIS.

 

Colin: She pulls him up by his cape...and tosses him over...NO! HE MANAGES ONTO THE APRON...THEY'RE EXCHANGING BLOWS... WAIT...Where is Nia going? NIA LONG JUST LOW BLOWED MYSTERIOUS STEVE, NIA AND TIA EACH WITH AN ARM AND THEY PUSH MYSTERIOUS STEVE TO THE GROUND!! 

 

The Mysterious Steve is eliminated by Tia Mowry (2) and Nia Long (1)!

 

Nia grabs a mic. 

 

Nia: Heeeey sis, you girls need a manager?

 

The audience boos. Tia nods and goes in for a hug. Nia hugs her back. 

 

Nia: Now I know y'all know this cause I'm a goddamn ICON in these parts, and the Icon is gonna speak and say you disrespect my girls I'ma whoop your ass, but in the 90s, we all got famous, she for TGIF, me for Friday, so we in this together. 

 

The audience chants "you gone clear! You gone clear!"

 

Nia: Shut up! The world wouldn't know about Trinis if it wasn't for me. I made this country popular. Now I'ma watch my girls take this.

 

Colin: Actually...I've been informed because you have an elimination, you're in this now. 

 

Nia: Okay. I guess we're doing this then, and bad luck to anyone going against TGIF. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Cam jumping into the ring, low blow by Nia Long!! NIA KICKS HIM IN THE THROAT, DUMPS HIM OUT AND HE'S DONE!

 

Cam E. Leon is eliminated by Nia Long! (2)

 

Nia steps outside the ring through the rope and grabs the microphone. 

 

The crowd shouts "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

 

Nia: You want me to fight my sis? Y'all are truly not ready for the next evolution of TGIF.

 

Tia: You're not ready for Dani, MJ, Jojo, Nia, and me. You're not ready for my sisters and-

 

 

Tamera: Excuse me? Your "sisters"? And that makes me-

 

Tia: My lesser half. The fetus I shoulda strangled in the womb.

 

Colin: Oh Jesus. Well, she's not an official entrant, so the clock doesn't restart, but it looks like some family drama has entered this fight.

 

Simon: And Tamera charges her sister, and Tia catches her with an armdrag. Tia holds Tamera and Nia unloads a devastating knee shot! AND ANOTHER! Tamera stomps Tia's foot and Jawbreaker! TAMERA GRABS HER SISTER BY THE HAIR AND THROWS HER OUT OF THE MATCH!! 

 

Tia Mowry is eliminated by Tamera Mowry! (1)

 

Colin: Tamera Mowry and Nia Long were not supposed to be in this match, and they're the ones holding down the ring, Tamera is as shocked as everyone, she turns around and big boot by Nia Long! Tamera doesn't leave the ring, but she's up on the ropes TIA POPS UP AND STARTS TO PULL HER DOWN, NIA AND TIA SHARE ANOTHER ELIMINATION!!

 

Tamera Mowry is eliminated by Tia Mowry (3) and Nia Long (3)!

 

Simon: The sisters are battling each other to the back...this is just insane that our former co-announcer is now 3 eliminations in and holding down the ring, let's see who's gonna put her in her place.

 

Colin: I mean, really, she only got one on her own. And now she's got none of her own team out here. Let's see who's next.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: The head of Sanity In Ring. And one of his big grievances is celebrities thinking they can wrestle and take these spots, turning wrestling into his opinion a joke. So Nia is most definitely wrong place, wrong time, and Benson with a huge elevated Belly to Belly to put the hurt on Long. OH, LONG FINDS THE KENDO STICK AND SHE DRIVES IT ACROSS THE FACE OF BENSON!! AND A SECOND FOR GOOD MEASURE!! Benson swings at her and she ducks, goes for the legs SHE JUST DUMPED BRICK BENSON!!!

 

Brick Benson is eliminated by Nia Long! (4)

 

Simon: Our leaderboard being led by Nia Long is...kinda embarrassing for the locker room. Somebodys gotta do something about this.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: I think that someone might be here. Guinevere running in with a lariat from jump, winding up the band...FLAMING KICK FINALLY ENDS NIA LONG'S NIGHT!!

 

Nia Long is eliminated by The Firebird Guinevere! (1)

 

Simon: I don't think she'll be rejoining us at the booth.

 

Colin: Yeah you're probably right.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: Gil with a chop to Guinevere. And a second. FLAMING KICK OUT OF NOWHERE AND GIL'S LUCK HAS SUDDENLY CHANGED!! HE IS OUT OF...Barely holding on.

 

Colin: Gets himself back in the ring, and a headbutt to Guinevere. Guinevere with a wristlock and a side suplex! Gil is up, he grabs Guinevere's chin and a Skull Crushing Finale!! ALAS POOR YORICK!! And he dumps Guinevere over the top!!

 

The Firebird Guinevere is eliminated by Gil Dan Stern! (1)

 

Simon: The spirit of the Bard moves within him! 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Crane running in carrying a Neon Bar Sign, to the top and jumps in smashing it over the head of Stern! Stern goes down and rolls under the ropes...that's not an elimination, remember. Has to be over the top. Digging under, and OH! He has a skull! 

 

Simon: Is that a real skull??

 

Colin: I don't know, but back in the ring and he smashes it over the face of Crane! What's good for the goose is good for the wanker! 

 

Simon: Crane clearly mad, he's loading up for that Penalty Kick, that FCUK...charging GIL LAUNCHES HIM OVER WITH AN EXPLODER SUPLEX!

 

Unstable Kid Rod Crane is eliminated by Gil Dan Stern! (2)

 

Simon: He's not going to have much time to soliloquy, here comes the countdown.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Gil throws the skull at Nitro to get this match started. She throws it right back at him with even more force, and runs over for a dropkick. 

 

Simon: He's up to his feet, doesn't seem too fazed, and running DDT. Gets Nitro up, and a scoop slam. Scooping her up in a deadlift full nelson, moving rather slowly, slowly, rising her up with patience that counteracts her speedy nature, and Release Full Nelson Suplex! Raising the Curtain!

 

Colin: Releasing her was possibly the biggest mistake he could have made as she charges like a bullet train and tilt-a-whirl headscissors, releasing at just the right time to get him released over the ropes! He's done!!

 

Gil Dan Stern is eliminated by Nitro Nova Cinder! (1)

 

Simon: It takes a lot of leg strength to be able to get that kind of propulsion, and it makes sense for someone who is constantly running to be able to pull that off. I bet she could kick someone to space. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: The last stop for the Magic Bus tonight, here comes Fabulous Matt, and Matt catches the charging dropkick....spinning sidewalk slam to Nitro! Knee drop to her. 

 

Simon: Do you think he'll learn from Gil's mistakes? 

 

Colin: Somehow I think he was distracted but time will tell. A little strut, but just the littlest one, and a knee drop again. Matt picks her up RUNS HER INTO THAT EXPOSED BUCKLE AND POWERSLAM! Doin' a little Ric Flair struttin' and somehow I think the answer to your question is not even a little...Cinder running to the turnbuckle, jump to the second, jump to the top, and flipping leg drop to the back of Matt's head!! She has that chair, taking a run....using the chair as a sort of skateboard dropkick!! Fabulous Matt tumbles out OH BUT HE USES HIS SCARF TO BARELY HOLD ON!

 

Simon: He gets back onto the apron, and Nitro is ready with some quick punches. Matt returns in kind. Nitro charges back and Matt would be well served to try to actually get back in the ring OH TOO LATE FRONT DROPKICK AND MATT HITS THE BRICKS! THE MAGIC BUS IS OUT OF GAS!

 

The Fabulous Matt is eliminated by Nitro Nova Cinder! (2)

 

Colin: Nitro like fire itself just needs a little bit of oxygen to burn bright.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: This is where the story changes a little, both of these fighters are quick on their feet and good in the air. So this one isn't going to be can you slow Nitro down, it'll be can you outpace her. 

 

Simon: He comes in fast at Nitro, she ducks him, momentum takes him to the ropes and she catches him on the rebound with a dropsault. She tries for a somersault leg drop, he rolls out of the way, she lands hard on her leg! Hoy rolls back and basement dropkick to Nitro. 

 

Colin: She's up, they both are, he whips her across the pond and goes to launch her out with the back body, once again she's given oxygen, she takes it, hold on to the top rope, headscissors to Hoy Sumer, huracanrana, see ya later!

 

Hoy Sumer is eliminated by Nitro Nova Cinder! (3)

 

Simon: With that elimination she ties her teammate, one more would tie the current leader which is still Trini actress and newest member of TGIF Nia Long. So who's ranked 156? 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: RAISE A GLASS AND LET'S GET ROWDY!

 

Simon: Leven charges in with a boot and blasts Nova over the ropes...she's still holding on!! He's trying to throw fists at her....she grabs his arm and launches him over!!! We have a tie for first!!!

 

Glen Leven is eliminated by Nitro Nova Cinder! (4)

 

Colin: You can see exhaustion creeping in. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Earlier in this match we talked about the former Dino H. Boro. This is the woman he came in with on a mission of Anti-Corruption, only to be corrupted in her first match, first by E.M. He, then by Zora Luthor. 

 

Simon: Thieso goes for the eyes of Cinder, she has her by the hair, and I think a ring mic can pick up what's goin' on.

 

Gina: A little lesson, Nova, good girls don't get gold.

 

Colin: And she just LAUNCHES Cinder over the ropes, and that'll end that reign. 

 

Nitro Nova Cinder is eliminated by Golden Gun Gina Thieso! (1)

 

Simon: I hope she doesn't get into Gina's head. Well, let's see what's next. 

 

 

Simon: Her partner Gil had a decent run, and now she's here to represent that Shakespearean Troupe Fools' Court. 

 

Colin: She comes in hard with a forearm shot. Rose continuing with a stiff punch, but Thieso ready and unloads what's become the classic dirty MAWL play, the brass knucks in the hair. BOOM! Kratz down on her back and fist drop by the Golden Gun with those knucks to continue the punishment. 

 

Simon: Rose grabs the arm and twists into an armbar! She pulls the armbar up and cranks it in! She knows a submission can't get the job done, Gina also knows the submission can't get the job done but she instinctively makes her way to the ropes and...a little Bugs Bunny eyebrow flitter by Kratz, that might have been her plan all along YES GINA GETS TO THE ROPES AND ROSE LIFTS HER UP AND OUT! 

 

Golden Gun Gina Thieso is eliminated by Rose N. Kratz! (1)

 

Colin: Kratz showing a lot of unexpected strategy there.

 

Simon: It's what they say about the Shakespearean Fool, Colin, they're usually the smartest ones in the show.

 

Colin: Can't say I disagree with that.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: And you can see the conflict on Rose's face. She's said in interviews that Keira Knightley is her favorite actor, and now here she is with a much darker timeline of the woman she adored.

 

Simon: Never meet your heroes, Colin.

 

Colin: Well said. Break out of the starstruck mode Rose! 

 

Simon: Keira offering a handshake...Rose asking for a hug? This isn't going to end well. Oh. Keira gives her the hug. How sw-yep, there's the belly to belly. 

 

Colin: That's the sound of posters coming off the wall tonight. And Rose wiping off her face, and there's the look of the fighter... charges her with a shoulder tackle that backs Keira into the corner! Huge overhead belly to belly that sounds Keira tumbling to the other side of the ring!! Keira stumbling from the corner, Rose picks her up AND POWERBOMBS HER OUT OF THE RING ONTO THE STEPS! Keira rolls off and she is out of this match!

 

Keira Knightley is eliminated by Rose N. Kratz! (2)

 

Simon: You can see the rage, heartbreak, pain in her heart. You can hear the anger in her breath. I don't feel good for the next person coming in.

 

Colin: You're certainly right about that. This is not someone ready to dance around the Maypole. She might put a Boar's Head in your bed.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Norman is one half of Nice N Normal, who when the year began before our merger were our tag champs but then lost the belts in a Fatal Four Corners match and have had an inconsistent year at best. 

 

Simon: Rose charges him and puts some jump on that DDT! Quick stomp to Norman. Norman rolls out of the way of the next one, up to his feet and gets Rose up for a NORMCORE! 

 

Colin: Rose struggling to her feet, she comes up with a low blow as she gets up and it doubles him over a bit. She grabs him by the neck to take advantage oh but Norman elbows her in the gut! And one to the back of the head. She scoops him up into a Fireman's Carry....SMASHES HIS HEAD INTO THE EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE AND OVER THE TOP ROPE ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! NORMAN HITS THE STEPS! AND HE'S...OH, HE STILL HAS ONE FOOT ON THE STEPS AND HE'S COMING BACK IN. 

 

Simon: He's hobbling though, and it's clear that landing on the steps is not good on his right leg. And that gives her a target that sure enough she's kicking him in the back of the leg! He isn't even fully in the ring, but his right leg is and she's just standing on it over the ropes! Stomp over the rope!

 

Colin: She's just going for it, grabs his leg and smashes it on the pole! He can't keep standing on the apron, he loses his balance and off the apron! He's outta here.

 

Norman Normal is eliminated by Rose N. Kratz! (3)

 

Simon: I hate to say it but this aggression does seem to be working for her. But, it's not her, and it's concerning she might lose herself in this. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Chair blast by Rose...and Alessia Romano is sent out of the ring! She bends back and is able to tuck in her legs, preventing her elimination. Romano charges into the ring, and BLASTS Rose with a lariat that knocks her on her head! 

 

Simon: Rose back to her feet and charges Alessia into the turnbuckles with a back elbow! Alessia punches back at her, Rose returns in kind, and we got a brawl. Alessia swings back at Rose, Rose blocks and elbow shot. Alessia switching this up, gets Rose up and running spinebuster!! Rose grabs at the hair of Alessia and punch to the face. 

 

Colin: Alessia with an Olympic Slam that wrecks Rose and a stomp to the face! 

 

Simon: Rose sees the knuckles...she's going for them...wait! Gil is back! And he's trying to plead with Rose that this isn't her! 

 

Crowd: STAY GOOD! STAY GOOD! STAY GOOD!

 

Colin: Rose looks around, looks at the face of her partner, nods and puts the knuckles down ALESSIA BOOTS HER OUT OF THE RING!! BOTH FEET HIT AND THAT'S GONNA BE THE END OF THAT!

 

Rose N. Kratz is eliminated by Alessia Romano! (1)

 

Simon: Gil is flabbergasted. He didn't mean to get Rose out, and you can tell that Rose is steaming. 

 

Colin: Trouble's brewing, something rotten in the state of Denmark. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: At this point it seems important to note that we have a lot of new blood and so I imagine that there will be significant rise in the ranks as people fight more than one or two matches. Alessia not impressed by this handsome beautiful man and lifts him up in a Military Press...FRONT SLAM! Lifts him up...and a Chokeslam!!

 

Simon: Vain trying to get to his feet and Alessia just stomping him out. She gets him with an elbow drop! Vain can't seem to get it together and Alessia lifts him overhead...out of the ring!!

 

Vain Plato is eliminated by Alessia Romano! (2)

 

Colin: This was, in some way, a Flawless Victory for Alessia. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: Stitches in and giggling as he circles Alessia...Alessia catches him with a discus lariat that flips him!! She attempts to hammer throw him out of the ring, he swings back in and she catches him with a Uranage! 

 

Colin: It isn't stopping him from laughing though. He goes for a spin kick, she spins him around the other way and short-arm lariat! Stitches stares Alessia down, head tilt AND HERE COMES THE KNEE! POP GOES THE WEASEL AND ALESSIA STAGGERS BACK, ALMOST OVER THE ROPES, SHE BARELY CATCHES HERSELF AND BOOTS HIM AWAY! HE CHARGES HER WITH A CLOTHESLINE, SHE DUCKS THE ROPE AND STITCHES GOES OVER!! 

 

Stitches the Clown is eliminated by Alessia Romano! (3)

 

Simon: Only two people have broken the 3 barrier, let's see if she can be the third to do so. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Red Ghost was one of those whose first appearance in our company came in the cross-company rumble in February, so he is well versed in matches of this nature. 

 

Simon: That's right. He came in with Psycho Supremacy but there's been controversy lately about his loyalties. Alessia Romano has him overhead and she's looking to use him as her breaking through the 3 wall, overhead in a guerilla press...he reverses into a jumping arm drag and gets her over the rope!! She just barely holds on. RED GHOST KICKS HER OUT. 

 

Alessia Romano is eliminated by Red Ghost! (1)

 

Colin: You really gotta learn to step back in the ring once you've pushed someone away. You just leave yourself open.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Physio came in as part of the Path aggression, but there's talk that at the end of his contract there he has his sights here.

 

Simon: Red Ghost looking to put a quick stop to do that charging from behind and up onto the shoulders of Physio for a spinning huracanrana...Red Hurricane over the rope! And Physio lands hard on the apron...doesn't go over! NO RED GHOST RUN PHYSIO GRABS HIM BY THE NECK AND TOSSES HIM OUT OF THIS MATCH!! 

 

Red Ghost is eliminated by Physio Joker! (1)

 

Colin: Physio took a bump but Ghost took the thump! 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Just two weeks back at Disney, Natalie Portman broke all our hearts in aligning with ZLI, and now she's here to cause further havoc.

 

Simon: That's right Colin, and she makes no bones about said havoc. She rakes Physio's eyes right from jump, and an X-Factor. Natalie gets the knucks from the ground last dropped by Rose....and she stiff punches Physio! 

 

Colin: Oh that woke Physio up, he rolls back and charging in with a sling blade!! Double underhook, goin' for the over the shoulder holder, and facebuster launching her to the outside!! 

 

Natalie Portman is eliminated by Physio Joker! (2)

 

Simon: Physio positioning himself as the Comeback Kid. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Physio Joker pulls Jacen Tarot in with a ripcord lariat. Physio scoops Jacen up for a powerbomb! Elbow shots to Jacen's head to keep the pressure on.

 

Simon: Physio is the new one to watch. Physio keeps up with a fist drop. Going for another, Jacen rolls out of the way and Physio hits mat! Scooping up Physio and Inverted Powerslam! 

 

Colin: Can't keep Physio down, he gets a Piledriver on Jacen! Physio with a stomp keeping pressure on. Jacen rolling from another stomp, getting the chair and laying it down....JACEN WITH A DOUBLE ARM DDT TO PHYSIO ON THE CHAIR! DEVIL DROP, EXTRA DEVIL! Jacen picking him up and going to dump him over the rope, Physio grabs onto the bottom rope, Jacen with a mid kick to Physio on his way in. 

 

Simon: Tarot taking a real risk here going to the top, Physio looking beat up but people have surprised us before...leg drop by Tarot and Physio's body pops up on reflex!

 

Colin: Another elimination may not be in the cards for Physio, as Tarot comes around with an elbow drop. Physio trying to get back to his feet as the countdown clock starts-

 

10! 9! 8! 

 

Simon: Physio hits Tarot with a huge running neckbreaker!

 

7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: And then there were three! Dusty bringing that Aussie heat to this match with a huge Lou Thesz Press just hammering the fists into the face of Physio Joker. Tarot coming in to get himself involved, take his turns punching Physio BUT PHYSIO LIFTS HIM UP, SPINEBUSTER AND KEEPING HOLD OF THE LEGS, HE TOSSES JACEN TAROT OUT OF THIS MATCH!!

 

Jacen Tarot is eliminated by Physio Joker! (3)

 

Simon: Physio might be able to break the 3 ceiling!

 

Colin: I wouldn't count on that, turn around Physio DUSTY GETS HIM UP...ONE HANDED SPINEBUSTER OUT OF THE RING!! 

 

Physio Joker is eliminated by Dusty McGraw! (1)

 

Colin: For a brief moment we had a multi-person match, but the countdown clock kicks back up.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Here comes Vicious Valencia, the ZLI Enforcer, and she shows why as she bounces Dusty outta the ring! 

 

Dusty McGraw is eliminated by Vicious Valencia Valdez! (1) 

 

Simon: I thought people only got tossed like that in movies, but I guess not.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Valdez not too scared by this psycho and throwing a bunch of fists at his ribcage. Insamity counters with an Eat Defeat! Valdez up quickly, gets him by the waist, elevating him up and we're going spinning!

 

Simon: I think they're stuck in a Vicious Cycle!

 

Colin: I think you're right, and there's the Spinebuster to prove it! She goes up to dump him over,  he catches her into a huracanrana and takes her outta here!

 

Vicious Valencia Valdez is eliminated by Uncle Insamity! (1)

 

Simon: Didn't land a blow on her in the ring but got her out. Anyway.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Slang Dang running in, before Uncle Insamity can get away from the ropes, dropkick that sends Uncle over!!!

 

Uncle Insamity is eliminated by Slang Dang! (1)

 

Simon: Quick and to the point. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Petey jumping in with a springboard....European Uppercut to Slang Dang! He's Riding the Crest!! And following up with a dropkick!

 

Simon: Petey loads back and charging...Dropsault....Slang moves out of the way! And smashing him in the back of the head with an elbow! Petey responds with a Sliced Bread! Petey lifts Slang Dang overhead...Guerilla Press out to the ring! And he's-

 

Colin: WAIT! FEET ARE STILL UP! HE LANDED ON HIS STOMACH BUT HIS LEGS ARE IN THE AIR! HE'S DOING THE WORM TO THE STEPS!!! He's still in this thing!

 

Simon: Slang on the apron...lifting Petey up for a suplex trying to get him out over the ropes...Slang loses footing! Petey takes effectively a guillotine but Slang about to fall! Petey throws a feather at him, he literally knocked him over with a feather!

 

Slang Dang is eliminated by Petey Peacock! (1)

 

Colin: Things are an expression until they're not. 

 

Simon: Amazing. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Tao coming in and a big forearm to Petey, following it up with a big punch. He throws Petey across the rope, Petey comes back around and going for a back body FRANKENSTEINER BY PETEY AND HYACINTHE IS OUT! 

 

Hyacinthe Tao is eliminated by Petey Peacock! (2)

 

Simon: That was quick and painful.

 

Colin: You said it.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Ugh. Here comes the Denier. She used to be a firecracker as Fuego Azula but she lost her sense of fun. And she Oklahoma Slams Petey right out of this one.

 

Simon: The crowd hates this, and I don't blame...wait, they're not doing the countdown...PETEY'S FEET HAVE LANDED OVER HIS HEAD! HE IS BENT UP ON A 90 DEGREE ANGLE ON THE TABLE BUT HE IS FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES STILL IN THIS THING! 

 

Crowd: Fly Petey Fly! Fly Petey Fly! 

 

Colin: Petey getting himself onto the table! Those crunches really pay off...he's gonna try it...Jumping to the Apron and he might DINA BOOTS HIM AWAY! DENIED BY THE DENIER!

 

Simon: The crowd is letting her know exactly how they feel. 

 

Colin: Yep, and she's letting know she doesn't care...still no countdown! He was smart and balled himself up! Hopping by his back to the steps, and he's up, pops up to the turnbuckle, and she might not have cared but she was sure distracted and eats a front dropkick! Taking a run and a flip senton to her! She tries to swing at his legs, he jumps it easily and stomps her arm. OOOH AND CHEAP SHOT UPPERCUT BY DENIER! He doubles over, she could take advantage, but she's taking a run and he's recovered enough to catch her, up into a Guerilla Press and LAUNCHES HER OUT! 

 

Dina the Denier Dorwart is eliminated by Petey Peacock! (3)

 

Simon: She made every effort to keep him down, and just couldn't make it happen. These birds may have come to play but they stayed to work.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Cassandra Cash started out this year as a Champion, before throwing a match to Faith in exchange for promises by ZLI that she would have a lucrative career and a swank penthouse.

 

Simon: That's right Colin and so far, only half of that has come to pass, as this has so far been the former Cass O'Wary's worst year in MAWL. She walked away from that man across from her, Petey Peacock, as well as Paulie Parrot whose lack of presence so far in this match indicates she did not trade up. 

 

Colin: I'm sure he's itching to get his wings on her and a Spear by Petey gets us started! She scoops up his legs...running Powerbomb right into that exposed turnbuckle!! She tries to clothesline him over, but his feet only briefly leave the ground. She gets his head on the middle rope and she is choking him out!

 

Simon: You pointed out that he's been wanting to get his hands on her but it seems that she's equally enjoying putting the pain to him. There's no ref breaking so he has to count on getting himself out or her letting go, and she does, but not out of kindness so much as she has her eyes on that briefcase...sure enough walking over and lining herself up...

 

Colin: I would just stay down if I were Petey.

 

Simon: Right? Nothing good comes from getting up and he gets to his feet anyway, she comes charging and SMASHES him in the head with that briefcase! Oh, and she's gloating as she grabs his hair.

 

Cassandra: See this? See all this money? This is why I left your janky ass! I'm rich, bitch. 

 

Simon: Oh and Petey grabs her wrist, I don't know if he's trying to take her money or just gain some control back, looks like he's more interested in the bend than the buck. 

 

Colin: It doesn't matter either way, as she stomps his face! 

 

Simon: There used to be so much love between these two.

 

Colin: That ain't there anymore, and she knife edge chops him. And DDT ONTO THE BRIEFCASE! He's toast!

 

Simon: She pulls him up by the hair, stuffs a fiver in his mouth! AND THROWS HIM OVER THE ROPE!!

 

Petey Peacock is eliminated by Cassandra Cash! (1)

 

Colin: Petey isn't moving! He might need medical attention and Cassandra just reveling in the fan hate, that mock pout that makes people wanna knock her out. 

 

Simon: She can gloat all she wants about beating him, but she was only ranked higher because of the alphabet technicality and she'll need two more falls to keep that positioning above him. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Oh might be tougher than she thinks. The fans are on their feet...Brian charging in, Cassandra ducks and spinning backbreaker! She gets him up, Dirty Deeds DDT!! 

 

Simon: Storm doesn't stay down long and a punch to the midsection of Cash. She knees him right back in the chin! And headlock to Brian, she drives another one into his stomach. And a brutal wrench to his neck, backing him up, OH HE REVERSES INTO A FISHER...NO, SHE ELBOWS HIM IN THE THROAT! 

 

Colin: You can't keep Storm down long though, he juts up with a headbutt to her sternum, and Alabama Slam! He goes to the legs, maybe looking for a swing, and she scissors down his ankles! To her feet and kicking him in the legs, DIRTY DEEDS DDT ONTO THE BRIEFCASE! THAT'S TWO FOR THE MONEY!

 

Simon: She scoops him up and attempts to dump him over...he's dragging her over with him, both of them on the apron, just throwing kicks at him and he's not budging, he's throwing punches at her and nothing down, as we hit the countdown clock with two people in peril.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Both Brian and Cassandra realizing they could be dumped any moment and decide to enter the ring CASSANDRA HAMMER THROWS BRIAN OUT OF THE RING AT THE REVEREND!!

 

Simon: Brian using the Reverend as a stepping stone to avoid touching the ground and leaps back into the ring. Rev brushes himself off and enters, facing Brian and about to give him a wallop OH HERE COMES CASSANDRA CHARGING...BOTH REV AND BRIAN TURN AROUND AND DOUBLE BOOT! 

 

Colin: She was going for the double elimination there and they weren't having it! And Brian spins around immediately to give a boot to Abner as well! Brian scoops Cassandra up...carrying her over to the edge, over the rope...Spike Piledriver through the ropes! Cassandra may be out of this, one foot down, and she JUST saves herself. OH AND ABNER HITS HER WITH THE GOSPEL AND TAKES HER OFF THE APRON!

 

Cassandra Cash is eliminated by Reverend Abner Almighty! (1)

 

Simon: I've seen some Bible beaters in my day but this is ridiculous. BRIAN WITH THE CHAIR FROM BEHIND KNOCKING REVEREND ABNER OUT OF THIS MATCH! 

 

Reverend Abner Almighty is eliminated by Brian Storm! (1)

 

Colin: He's taken a hell of a beating, but he's been to deeper levels of Hell than this.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Usually, I'd want people to last at least another entrance but it would have been 2 on 1. 

 

Simon: Instead Brant has to worry about Storm getting on a roll. And he starts it out with a devastating belly to belly to Brant! Clothesline and takes Brant out! He's now eliminated 2 members of The Bored, and with Dina the Denier also out, half of the team is gone. 

 

Red Tape Terry Brant is eliminated by Brian Storm! (2)

 

Colin: Storm still has a ways to go in this battle, but the man doesn't stop fighting.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Pinoy Power Surge was one of the GHW stars to earn the call-up, and she clearly intends to make use of the opportunity. Elbow shot by Pinoy, Brian loses his footing a little bit and Pinoy takes advantage of THAT to trip him. She continues off the ropes, springboard moonsault! She lives up to her name and seems to be picking up the pace, jumping knee drop! 

 

Simon: She might be taking a risk by continuing to run unabated, goes for the running leg drop BRIAN MOVES! BRIAN WITH A DEADLIFT SIDE SLAM! Brutal stomp combo to her. Runs her into the pole with the Snake Eyes. 

 

Colin: Unabated, Pinoy spins back with the spinkick, immediately follows up with the sweep and Brian hits his head on the way down! 

 

Simon: Pinoy gets Brian up onto the turnbuckle, this seems like a bad idea...

 

Colin: Agreed, and Brian waking up...BRIAN SPIDER SUPLEXES PINOY OUT OF THE RING BUT PINOY TAKES HIM DOWN WITH HER!! 

 

Pinoy Power Surge (1) and Brian Storm (3) eliminate each other!

 

Simon: Once again we have an empty ring, which means it's time for a countdown.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: And we got another member of Sanity In Ring here. I wonder if he'll do better than his leader. 

 

Simon: I guess it depends on who comes in next. 

 

 

Colin: It's...another member of Sanity In Ring. This could be a long 90 seconds.

 

Manda Miento pulls out a microphone to boos.

 

Manda: You see? You see what happens when you leave us in catering? You see what happens when we do not control the narrative? You are plagued by CLOWNS. You are plagued by PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY ARE BIRDS AND CATS. Your leaderboard right now is co-topped by an ACTRESS WHO DECIDED TO JUMP UP FROM THE ANNOUNCING DESK. YOU NEED ORDER. YOU NEED...SANITY. YOU NEED-

 

??: YOU NEED-TO SHUT THE HELL UP.

 

 

Colin: WHOA!

 

The crowd pops. 

 

Manda: This isn't your fight. Go back to Path. And take all these freaks with you like you were originally planning to.

 

Perry: Gil and I, as I see it, have been in this ring more recently than you. And yeah, I may be one half of the Path Tag Champs, but we have more history here than you. And we've actually held these belts. And after this, we'll go back to Path, but we were on a holdover and thought we'd pop by. And since people here don't want to see you two idiots double teaming people, throwing them out, and then running out the clock with your little street corner prophecies, we're gonna add a couple o'asterisks into this.

 

Gil: Right. And tight.

 

Colin: I'll allow it.

 

Simon: And since they're not in the official roster, the clock doesn't reset. About 50 seconds burned, they've now got about 40 seconds before the next entrant. 

 

Colin: Gil and Perry charging in to deal with Sanity In Ring! Gil with a discus lariat to Lou Bison, but Manda catches Perry...TOSSES HIM ALL THE WAY OUT WITH A RELEASE CHOKEBOMB!! That was a Decree that just sent Perry Payne straight out of this match!!

 

Unrelenting Perry Payne is eliminated by Manda Miento! (1)

 

Simon: Manifestation threw themselves into something that wasn't for them, noble plan, but now Gilbert is stuck doing this on his own, one on two until the next person comes in. And Gil is pissed off, presumably both at Manda for eliminating Perry and at himself for not being there to prevent it, he runs in with a brutal knee to Manda! Oh but Lou gets him with a clothesline in the back of the head.

 

Colin: Bison stomping Gil out, Gil looking brutalized but he rolls out of the way GLASS CANNONS MANDA MIENTO OUT OF THE RING!!

 

Manda Miento is eliminated by Unbreakable Gilbert Glass! (1)

 

Colin: Gilbert evens the score, and turns around in time to catch Bison charging him, SITOUT POWERBOMB!

 

Simon: Glass wants to clear the air here, and he throws Lou out the window with a scoop slam! OH LOU LANDS ON THE APRON AND JUST BARELY CATCHES HIMSELF! He's still in this as we go to the countdown clock.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Hadron slides in and Gilbert immediately catches him with a gutwrench and powerbomb!! Lou still on the apron, dangerous but he grabs Gilbert! Gilbert struggling to keep himself back in and can't do it! 

 

Unbreakable Gilbert Glass is eliminated by Lou Bison! (1)

 

Simon: Elbow drop to the back of the head of Bison by Hadron. Bison responds with a quick headbutt, Hadron responds with White Noise! Hadron going to the top rope, a giant splash BISON MOVES!! BISON SCOOPS UP FOR A DEADLIFT DOMINATOR!! Up for another one and drops Hadron out of the ring!! 

 

Hadron is eliminated by Lou Bison! (2)

 

Colin: Bison is firmly in control of this match, let's see where this goes though.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: Quick spinkick to Lou Bison. Off the ropes and leg lariat that bends Bison back! Devon keeps it up with the knee drop. Bison responds with a rib punch to Devon and getting up, Devon hits him with a chop before he fully gets up, and getting now to the Yes Kicks! 

 

Colin: You can sense the difference in the freshness, and Devon keeps it up with a snapmare. 

 

Simon: Bison's not out of it yet though and bear hug slam to Devon! Devon quickly up, jumping into a tornado DDT! Devon jumping to the middle turnbuckle and whisper in the wind! Bison rolls away and takes a run at Devon...Discus Big Boot! STEEL FORCE!! Blasts Devon right out!!

 

Devon Delight is eliminated by Lou Bison! (3)

 

Colin: Lou reaches that 3 space that as said before, only 2 people have broken that. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Bison headbutts Alfos on his way in, and gives a second one, and into a Side Suplex! Alfos to his feet, ducks a punch and Orton backbreaker! Bison rolls back... charges Alfos...catches Alfos with a forearm to the face but Alfos with the arm wringer and judo flips him out of the ring!

 

Lou Bison is eliminated by Alfos! (1)

 

Simon: Once again the three barrier is invoked, Alfos using the quick elimination to keep himself fresh for the next one.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: Alanna with a big slap to Alfos, and high knee shot! Throat punch! That's gonna sting! 

 

Colin: Alanna running back, Alfos catches her out with a Spinebuster! Gets Alanna by the throat and ONE BANG!! Alanna staggering back and over the ropes but she holds on.

 

Simon: Alfos charges Alanna, but she hits him with a boot! He staggers back and she runs at him, knee smash!!

 

Colin: And Alfos strikes back with a rough punch. Alfos gets Alanna up and charges her to the ropes, throws her over but she grabs his head and they both go down!! 

 

Alfos (2) and Alanna Daze (1) eliminate each other!

 

Simon: And again, an empty ring which means we've got two more coming in.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Youngblood Patrick Riot is here as the first representative of MAMA.

 

Simon: I wonder who will come on at 125.

 

 

Simon: Solrac throwing quick fists to Patrick Riot. Riot grabs the arm of Solrac and an arm-trapped inverted suplex! Solrac quick to his feet and knee shot to Riot. Riot takes the knee of Solrac and Saito Suplex! Solrac hits the apron but rolls on in. 

 

Colin: And Riot's ready for him with a boot, and Solrac almost goes over again! 

 

Simon: I'd get away from the ropes, Colin.

 

Colin: I have to agree with you. Riot with an elbow shot to try to get Solrac to go over, and fully body checks and that'll do it. 

 

Solrac is eliminated by Youngblood Patrick Riot! (1)

 

Simon: Solrac just couldn't get it together after those initial fists of fury, and Riot kept the pressure on.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: This is giving Sam Wilson vs John Walker and I'm here for it. And Verne blasts Riot with a huge Spear!! 

 

Simon: Riot to his feet, Wheelbarrow Facebuster to Verne. And kicking him in the ribs, not wanting to give Verne too much of a chance to get to his feet. Verne rolls behind him and Half-Nelson Suplex! Gets the head and running bulldog to Riot! The fans are into it!

 

Colin: Lockup and Riot wins the test of strength...scoops Verne and takes a run...release bodyslam against the ropes! Verne bounces off and back into the arms of Riot, Riot going for a back suplex, Verne hands up around Riot and overpowering! Verne lifts Riot off FROM BEHIND AND TOSSES HIM OUT!!

 

Youngblood Patrick Riot is eliminated by All Star Eric Verne! (1)

 

Simon: Wilson beats Walker. As it should be.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

Colin: And it's good that Verne got rid of Riot...this would have been another 2 on 1 situation.

 

Simon: Xander runs Verne's head into the exposed turnbuckle. 

 

Colin: Do they ever plan on replacing that pad? 

 

Simon: I hope so. But Verne pushes back with an elbow shot, and a punch to the face. Xander trying for a short arm lariat, Eric evades and gutbuster to Xander!! Xander back to his feet and gets Verne up....POWERBOMB TO THE OUTSIDE! AND ERIC IS no! He lands on his hands, doing a sit up and another, and he rolls into the ring BUT XANDER BOOTS HIM BACK OUT!!

 

All Star Eric Verne is eliminated by Xander Marks! (1)

 

Colin: Verne was able to get rid of one, but MAMA got him out the next go round.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: And once again we have a team taking over the ring who are refusing to fight.

 

Sherwood: My fellow Americans-

 

The crowd boos.

 

Simon: You're...not in...America?

 

Sherwood: I forgot. We're among the sav-

 

 

Colin: Scythe? Like that Jared guy we had a few weeks back?

 

Simon: Well they appear to be gender separating, Sherwood with a brutal kick to the ribs of Victoria, Dante with a high jumping knee to Marks, and a huge chest chop. Stereo punches by MAMA to X-Treme, and followed up with a stereo suplex!! Sherwood adding an elbow drop for flair.

 

Colin: Victoria showing signs of life, spinning sweep kick to Sherwood, Dante cuts Marks in half with a spear!! 

 

Simon: Victoria is able to continue her momentum with a Belly to Belly to Sherwood...Marks Snake Eyes to Dante in that exposed corner! Dante headbutts Marks and Victoria hits Sherwood. MAMA returns in kind with stereo punches to the threat. 

 

Colin: Dante Spears Marks out of the ring!!

 

Xander Marks is eliminated by Dante Rivera! (1)

 

Simon: Victoria launches herself with a running crossbody at Sherwood....BOTH ARE OUT!!

 

Victoria Scythe (1) and Senator Sherwood (1) eliminate each other!

 

 

Simon: Question Mark Vraag running in and snap neckbreaker! And Question Mark scoops Dante Rivera up and powerslam! Running up to the turnbuckle, Moonsault! Elbow drop by Question. Dante Rivera having a little trouble getting that momentum back, and Question Mark tosses him out.

 

Dante Rivera is eliminated by Question Mark Vraag! (1)

 

Colin: Question Mark Vraag wants to get back into contention, getting some falls here would be a good start.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Is she the final member of Sanity In Ring?

 

Simon: I think she might be...Manifestation came in to deal with Lou and Manda, and Brick was eliminated earlier. But she's not going to squander this opportunity, as she hits Question with a running Polish Hammer and follows it up with a fist drop.

 

Colin: One of the things we've seen in this match over and over is the fresher person has the advantage, it's hard to get momentum and harder to get rest. 

 

Simon: But advantage isn't set in stone and Vraag with a running headbutt to the gut of the Paragon of Sanity, taking a run to the rope, springboards up and a Stomp! He slams her head into the ground, coming off the ropes WAIT PAM IS UP, QUESTION MARK GOES FOR A JUMPING SPEAR PAM CATCHES HIM INTO THE ELEVATED DDT!! SIRTAIN DOOM!!! Pam dumps Mark out!

 

Question Mark Vraag is eliminated by Pam Arnasdóttir ! (1)

 

Colin: That Freshness factor. Hard but not impossible to overcome. Mark couldn't do it.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: Pam rakes at La Bosqua's eyes and she's going for the mask. La Bosqua trying to break free of the grasp but Pam punches her in the face and a headbutt. 

 

Colin: Bosqua one of the newest callups from GHW and previously was involved in the attack on SlowMo, but that was a team effort and taking on Pam one on one here is very, very different. Bosqua trying for the Hammer Throw and Pam bumps the apron but rolls in. 

 

Simon: Bosqua ready for her with the stomps, picks her up by the head and into a headlock, up and Samoan Driver. Pam rolls up easily, STO to knock LB down. Pam kicking her in the ribcage. La Bosqua grabs her foot...pulling her up...up into a Samoan Driver... and dumps her over! The Freshness factor strikes again!

 

Pam Arnasdóttir is eliminated by La Bosqua! (1)

 

Colin: True. But we can't take away from LB's skill, or anyone's, either.

 

Simon: Oh absolutely.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Harley wasn't even supposed to be a fighter in her own right, she came in managing Jay the Joker, but she got involved in that Next Level Trios Title Match and got the first elimination against Jay the Joker. And for at least the next minute and a half depending on how this goes, she has to stand alone against La Bosqua. 

 

Simon: Harley charges her with that bat...LB ducks and scoops her up into the Fireman's Carry...and yep! We're going up to that Middle Rope....QUEMA CONTROLADA! Middle Rope Burning Hammer!! Harley rolls out under the bottom rope before LB can get her hands on her.

 

Colin: Smart. Have to go out through the top. Harley searching under the apron and she found a taser!! Rolls back in and shock to La Bosqua!! Bosqua is struggling and Harley pulls it up...for just a moment and right back in!! Bosqua struggles to get away but manages barely...she has Harley's bat and smashes her in the face with it!! 

 

Simon: It's a two-for-one, Colin, a Rumble AND an Extreme Rules Match! 

 

Colin: That's right Simon, and Harley doesn't take too kindly to her bat's betrayal, she grabs it back AND SMASHES HER ACROSS THE RIBS WITH IT!! She swings again, BOSQUA JUMPS ATOP THE BAT AND A JUMPING SPINKICK TO THE HEAD OF HARLEY! Harley just laughs it off and gets Bosqua in the back!! Bosqua trying to catch her breath on the ropes but this is a TERRIBLE idea and Harley dumps her over!

 

La Bosqua is eliminated by Harley Quinn! (1)

 

Simon: Harley's true test will be what she does with the next person.

 

Colin: One of the things that sets Harley apart is she seems to actually like pain, and that may help her.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: It must really burn Pam that her former partner is ranked better than her. And that they could have gotten a chance at each other were it not for La Bosqua and Harley. 

 

Simon: Harley greets Pen Gwen with a knee shot. Pen gets Harley in a Hug...oh is this going where I think YEP SHE'S GETTING LIFTED UP....AND WALKED OVER TO THE ROPE...BELLY TO BELLY OVER THE ROPE!!! COMPACT HUDDLE TO HARLEY AND SHE'S A GONER!

 

Harley Quinn is eliminated by Pen Gwen! (1)

 

Colin: Pam's not gonna be able to pass Gwen in the rankings now, as they have the same amount of fall.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Bryce Nice...36 spots right now above her partner in the rankings, may increase that gap after this match depending on how it goes. 

 

Simon: Pen Gwen greets her with a single leg dropkick. Pen loading back and charging for a front dropkick! This one bounces Bryce against that exposed turnbuckle which has been seeing a lot of bodies come its way.

 

Colin: That's right Simon, and Bryce stunned in that corner here comes Pen with a Stinger Splash OH BRYCE JUST PLAYING POSSUM AND EVADES! PEN GWEN TAKES THE BUMP!! But she catches Bryce with a boot and gets herself free of the area. OH A SPINEBUSTER BY PEN GWEN! 

 

Simon: These two are fairly evenly matched and Pen eliminated Harley too quickly for the Freshness Factor to be too significant. Bryce punches her face on the way up, and a HUGE FACEBUSTER BY BRYCE! 

 

Colin: Pen Gwen not too bothered by it, rolls back, drop toe hold to take Bryce down and a senton! The crowds lapping it up and Pen Gwen realizing she can't pin, picking Bryce up BRYCE WITH A BRUTAL PUNCH TO THE STERNUM. Pen responds with a headbutt to the ribcage! Bryce gets the legs and taking a run....ALABAMA SLAM OVER THE ROPES! SHE SMASHES GWEN ONTO THE APRON BUT GWEN IS ABLE TO PREVENT HERSELF FROM FALLING OFF! Trying to get herself up...BRYCE WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE! PEN GWEN'S HEAD SMACKS THE APRON BUT SHE'S STILL ABLE TO GRAB THE BOTTOM ROPE AND PREVENT HERSELF FROM GOING OVER!!

 

Simon: I imagine if you're Bryce Nice you're not having a very nice time right now. BRYCE WITH A SUPERKICK! A SECOND ONE! TWICE AS NICE!! PEN GWEN IS OUTTA HERE!!

 

Pen Gwen is eliminated by Bryce Nice! (1)

 

Simon: All the work she had to do to get the one elimination, hopefully for Bryce's sake she hasn't burned herself out too much because the countdown is about to come into play.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Wiski Sour is another one who has decently surpassed her partner over the course of 2025 thus far. Bryce gets her in a lockup, and Fisherman Suplex! Wiski rolls away from it and ripcord clothesline!

 

Simon: You can see the impact of the work Pen Gwen did on Bryce as she Irish Whips Wiski, there's a little stumble there, Wiski capitalizes with a running boot. Wiski with a jumping elbow drop to put the hurt on Bryce a bit more. Wiski grabbing Bryce by the back of her shirt and trunks...BOUNCER TOSSES HER OVER THE TOP ROPE! SHE IS DONE!! 

 

Bryce Nice is eliminated by Wiski Sour! (1)

 

Colin: Bryce and Wiski have outperformed their partners in this match, as we continue down the line.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: True North is here! WISKI BOOTS HER OUT AS SOON AS SHE COMES IN MARLA LANDS ON THE APRON AND PULLS WISKI OVER! THEY'RE BEATING THE HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER BUT NEITHER IS GOING DOWN!

 

Simon: Both of these women fighting in dangerous territory...Marla charges Wiski to the post and SMASHES HER on the metal, Wiski holding on!! Trying to pull Marla off the apron, Marla holding firm!

 

Colin: Wiski has Marla by the hair, bad call...smashes her face on the metal post! These women have to get in this ring to stay safe.

 

Simon: I agree with you Colin, and looks like Wiski is going to hop in first, oh she grabs Marla by the chin before Marla can do the same and Beasts of the Bodhran! Marla is in real danger here! Oh she catches Wiski's arm and smashes it over her shoulder, and she is in the ring and safe for now.

 

Colin: Frustration from Wiski and she gives a slap to Marla. Wiski HAS HER FLASK IN HER HAND AND A LOADED FLASK PUNCH TO MARLA! We're seeing old school Sour here and Marla is back over the ropes. Wiski tries to punch Marla out of this match but Marla blocks the punch and headbutt! Bringin' out that Great North fighting style and she's back in the ring. Wiski tries the punch again and ANOTHER block and headbutt by Marla Anderson.

 

Simon: It's a true return to form, matches like this bring out the best and worst in people. Marla can't block this loaded punch and she's over the ropes! Wiski takes a swig from the flask AND SPITS IT IN MARLA'S FACE! Marla instinctively holds her eyes and Wiski kicks her off the apron.

 

Marla Anderson is eliminated by Wiski Sour! (2)

 

Colin: And the fans don't love Wiski's tapping into that part of herself, and Wiski salutes them back.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Another one of these Anti-System punks. LOW BLOW BY WISKI SOUR! AND A SNAP DDT! Luis Diaz back to his feet and DEVASTATING BLACK MASS KICK TAKES WISKI OVER THE ROPES! SEE YA!! 

 

Wiski Sour is eliminated by Luis Diaz! (1)

 

Colin: Luis ends her reign of terror and throws her flask at her on her way out! 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: Renaud, one half of Le Lutteur, once again in a rumble situation. I'm sure he and Marion would give their last baguettes to just be in a normal tag match.

 

Colin: Renaud tries for a punch to Luis, Luis with a quick block and a harrowing chop. Renaud throws a big chop back. Renaud with an arm-locked sleeper on Luis! 

 

Simon: As we've said before, you can't make someone tap in this match, but taking their energy from them and making them easier to dump is never a bad thing. LUIS DROPS HIM WITH A STUNNER! Renaud up and LUIS WITH THE BLACK MASS KICK! Renaud over the ropes... this could be another out for Luis, but Renaud rolls back in.

 

Colin: Luis greets him with a blasting kick combo and culminates with a high knee to his chin. Renaud hits him back with a knee and a scoop slam! Pumphandle slam sends Luis to the outside!

 

Luis Diaz is eliminated by Renaud Lavillenie! (1)

 

Simon: Renaud took everything Luis had to give him and held on tightly. Freshness Factor I'm sure helped, but we'll see how much so when the next one comes in.

 

 

Colin: Omega X in and just launches Renaud out of the ring with a choke toss! 

 

Renaud Lavillenie is eliminated by Omega X! (1)

 

Simon: Well that's just brutal. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Paulie jumps in and Omega greets him with a boot! And going for the big walk over him, a lot of pressure. Paulie rolling up and going for the dropkick, Omega staggering back, and Paulie going off the ropes, tilt-a-whirl DDT!! 

 

Simon: Omega back up and DEVASTATING CHOKESLAM OVER THE ROPE! Paulie uses his feet to lock on the bottom rope and stays in this. Pulling himself up and springboard front dropkick! Omega pushed back but quickly smashes Paulie down to the ground with a bionic elbow. OMEGA SPINEBUSTERS PAULIE TO THE APRON PAULIE POPS HIS LEGS UP AND HURACANRANAS OMEGA X OVER THE ROPES!!

 

Omega X is eliminated by Paulie Parrot! (1)

 

Colin: Parrot showing that sometimes brains over brawns wins the day. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Springboard Tornillo by Neonyx Notorio takes Parrot right down but Parrot rolls back to his feet and jumping DDT! Fist drop by Parrot to keep Neo down, springboard into an Acai Moonsault!

 

Simon: Parrot really putting the hurt to Neo, up to the top turnbuckle and 450 Splash!! Parrot should really try to get rid of him NO he's going up to the top again NEO TO HIS FEET AND SHAKES THE ROPE, PARROT TIPPING OVER THE EDGE BUT BARELY STAYS ON THE TURNBUCKLE, NEO TO THE SECOND ROPE, SPIDER SUPLEXING PARROT BACK INTO THE RING....UP HE GOES AND REVERSE 450!! LUNA DE LA MUERTE!!

 

Crowd: This is awesome!! This is awesome!!

 

Colin: Neo gets Parrot up and judo throws him over the ropes!! See ya!! 

 

Paulie Parrot is eliminated by Neonyx Notorio! (1)

 

Simon: Neo posing for the fans. You can see he's feeling himself. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Lynx was just barely not able to get the title shot at International Incident thanks to Rade. Let's see if he fares better here.

 

Simon: There's still 107 people yet to come in, so he's gonna have to be ready and pace himself.

 

Colin: Neonyx hits him with a running knee as a way of greeting. Neo continuing the run and huracanrana! Going for a spinning heel kick but Lynx ducks and a spinning mid kick to Neo! Neo pushed back to the ropes, Lynx charges Neo and lariats him out BUT NEO GRABS HIS MASK EARS AND THEY GO OUT TOGETHER!

 

Neonyx Notorio (2) and Lynx (1) eliminate each other!

 

Simon: This keeps happening! Well, let's see - I guess - who our next two are. 

 

 

Colin: Lucenza Rossi is here! The former "Tiger" took off the mask and fully invested herself in Zora Luthor International, and it's actually started to do wonders for her career. I hate to admit it but her star is rising. And now...oh wait, we have a message regarding our next entrant. 

 

"Dear Second Place MAWL Show-

Radio Silence must respectfully decline your invitation to the Rumble as we have already received what we desire and have a superior show to plan. We have replacement wrestlers from around the world to fill our spots. Feel free to put our rankings and graphics up, but we will not be fighting tonight.

 

Regards-

Radio Silence."

 

Simon: Well that's rude. Let's see the graphic-

 

 

Colin: Max Matthews is one of the people we are in the process of extending a contract to. We've heard good things about this young man.

 

Simon: This match's results won't put that in peril, but it's good to see him in action. Lucenza with the Irish Whip, Max coming back and ducks the clothesline, back around and running Cross Body knocks Lucenza through a loop. Rossi back to her feet, Max BLASTS her with a Biggest Chop. 

 

Colin: Matthews is in full control here, picks her up and European Uppercut. Matthews with a front slam! Rossi can't seem to get herself moving here, and Matthews front slam to Lucenza. Hip Press to Lucenza! 

 

Simon: Lucenza struggles to her feet, hanging onto the ropes, Matthews charging her but Rossi hits a boot on him! Rossi reaches into her hair, knux punch to Matthews! And another! She's starting to get some momentum BUT MATTHEWS TOSSES HER OUT!

 

Lucenza Rossi is eliminated by Max Matthews! (1)

 

Colin: Matthews is already demonstrating dominance. Let's see who's coming.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Corrigan steps into the ring and immediately Max Matthews charges with a cross body! Corrigan gets back at him with an elbow smash, followed by a rolling elbow smash. Corrigan hits an axe handle on Matthews, Matthews responds with a headbutt. Corrigan staggering back, Matthews charges, Corrigan with an armdrag and Matthews hits the apron but rolls in.

 

Simon: Corrigan kicks Matthews right out!! 

 

Max Matthews is eliminated by Will Corrigan! (1)

 

Colin: Matthews fought hard but it was not to be.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Half of the Skylights in the ring, and dropkick to Corrigan! Corrigan back on his feet and big boot to Lazer! Lazer with the basement sweep kick to Corrigan.

 

Colin: The back and forth is impressive. Lazer with the Poison Rana and Corrigan out of the ring but keeps himself on the apron. Learning from the competition and gets himself into the ring. Lazer charges him, he gets her up and guillotines her on the rope. But she gets him at the legs and over he goes!

 

Will Corrigan is eliminated by Lazer! (1)

 

Simon: That elimination was truly unexpected. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Springboarding into a crossbody at Lazer! Lazer bounces up and hits Xel with a Codebreaker! 

 

Simon: Xel fashions himself a hero though and you can't keep a hero down. Pops up with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors! 

 

Colin: Lazer also fashions herself a hero and she keeps her bodily momentum going and pops up with a dropsault! She barely lands before he can get back up and a dropkick! 

 

Simon: If this were a regular match this would be frustrating, but you don't want them to stay down, you want them to go up. 

 

Colin: You're not wrong Simon...Xel with the arm drag, kips up and right into a standing dropkick! Lazer backs up, Xel blasts her with another dropkick and takes her out of the match!!

 

Lazer is eliminated by Xel! (1)

 

Simon: These potential newcomers are the real deal. I'm excited for the future of MAWL if we can lock these fighters down. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Xel dumped one half of Skylights and now has to contend with the other. Quick spinning elbow by Xel and UV eats it, oh but UV with a judo flip in response! Xel quick to his feet and UV quick to respond to that with a Ripcord Kippou Kick! UV hammer throws Xel over the ropes, Xel pulls UV over with him, and DOUBLE BOOT! They both boot each other and they both hit the ground!

 

Xel (2) and UV (1) eliminate each other!

 

Simon: Well, I guess at least we'll learn who number 100 is. After, of course, we learn who 101 is. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: Rae is the last representative of MAMA. 

 

Colin: She was part of Kruel when they were a thing, and has since embraced jingoism. Either way the fans miss the days where she smiled kindly. 

 

 

Colin: The CEO comes in at number 100! 

 

Simon: I'm surprised she doesn't do what Alastor's doing and have someone else come in.

 

Colin: She's always been low key hands-on. And Rae with a throat chop! Leila backed up, Rae goes for the Superkick...Leila moves and grabs Rae by the back and suplex to the Outside, Rae grabs her by the suit jacket and drags her out too!

 

US Rae (1) and Leila Blake (1) eliminate each other!

 

Simon: Well, I guess this means we need another two! 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: She's got her snake with her, she's clearly ready to cause pain. 

 

 

Colin: Konda with an Irish Whip and she sends Zeke running, catches him back and Uranage! She goes to stomp Zeke...he's not there! He puts her up.... up the turnbackbuckle,  Top Rope GTS, or as he calls it, ZTS! Anna rises up with an uppercut. 

 

Simon: People think by hitting the big move early you're gonna wrap it up quick, but that's often not the case. Zeke is gonna have to do more work and he gets her spinning around into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Gets her up and they go climbing again...ZTS Number 2! And he scoops her up, attempting to dump her out but she manages to keep her hands on the middle rope and rolls back into the ring.

 

Colin: That's gotta be frustrating for him.

 

Simon: I can't disagree.

 

Colin: He sneaks up behind her and POISON RANA OUT OF THE RING! That's gonna do it.

 

Anna Konda is eliminated by Zeke the Sneak! (1)

 

Simon: He didn't take much in the way of damage but you gotta think he's exhausted from that.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

The crowd chants "GLOW! GLOW! GLOW!"

 

Simon: Ty in the ring, Zeke attempting to leap at him with a Splash - TY HITS THE GLOW KICK!! HE BLASTS HIM OUT OF THE RING!!

 

Zeke the Sneak is eliminated by Ty Neon Sky Lancer! (1)

 

Colin: Ty heard the crowd's call and he answered it deftly and quickly. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: Dresden's career has really taken off since turning her back on the fans. 

 

Colin: Neon Sky comes charging at her with a knee shot and Superkicks her over! Diana Dresden pulls him over with a double underhook...DDT! She HOME REXERS him out of the ring but he trips her down with him! It's happened again!

 

Ty Neon Sky Lancer (2) and Diana Dresden (1) eliminate each other!

 

Simon: This I'm sure doesn't happen in many rumbles at least to this amount.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Soldat is one of the oldest members of the Anti-System here, going all the way back to February and the original iteration of Anti-System.

 

 

Simon: Pistol with a spinning punch to Soldat, and a quick run, front dropkick to the outside!! OH BUT SOLDAT WENT THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPES AND HE'S NOT ELIMINATED!

 

Colin: Soldat jumps back in with double axe handle! And a Spinning Uranage!! But Pistol udeterred and kips up into a Jumping DDT, following that up with a jumping headbutt.

 

Simon: These are two competitors with more grit than a Southern Kitchen, and neither will be easily thwarted. Off the middle turnbuckle Pistol goes and a legdrop keeps Soldat down. 

 

Colin: But you can't keep Soldat down for long, as he stiff punches the back of Pistol's leg. Pistol pushes back with a kick to his ribs and he gets Soldat up! Running Powerslam sends Soldat to the outside!! 

 

Soldat is eliminated by Pistol! (1)

 

Simon: We hadn't seen much of the Doomsayers this month, but they are in a position to make a splash on the final day, so long as they can stay in this.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Bartoli is the second half of Le Lutteur, and he comes in and catches Pistol right off the bat in a trap suplex! Pistol rolls back and to his feet, and absolutely SNAPS Marion in half with a Spear! Marion gets pushed out under the ropes! 

 

Simon: That's no way to get eliminated, Pistol already running as Marion steps in and BLASTS Marion with a Rocket Kick! Marion goes over the ropes, Pistol springboards off the rope and CUTTER! Marion is flattened on the Apron! 

 

Colin: Pistol celebrating the win as he's sure he's gotten him...Simon, there's no Countdown Clock!

 

Simon: Marion never rolled off the Apron! He's still in this match! 

 

Colin: Pistol is frustrated!! What the hell does he need to do to get Marion out of this match??

 

Simon: Baseball slide to the head of Marion and that's gonna do it. 

 

Marion Bartoli is eliminated by Pistol! (2)

 

Colin: Pistol gets a second fall! And he eagerly awaits our next entrant-

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Here we are back in this situation and sure enough they're refusing to fight each other.

 

Simon: Does no one understand everyone for themselves? 

 

Colin: Guess not. Which tag team do you think is going to clear us of this non-

 

 

Colin: And his partner....he's having a partner, right? He's not going to take on the Doomsayers all by himself?

 

Simon: You can hear the Doomsayers laughing through their masks as he enters the ring...they charge him BUT HE DONKS THEIR HEADS TOGETHER! HE GETS PISTOL UP WITH ONE HAND BY THE THROAT! HE GETS HAMMER WITH THE OTHER HAND!! DOUBLE ONE HANDED CHOKESLAMS OUT OF THE RING!! HE JUST MANHANDLED THE DOOMSAYERS!!

 

Doomsayers Pistol and Hammer are eliminated by Stonefist! (1/2)

 

Colin: I feel bad for whoever's next.

 

Simon: I agree with you Colin...I would hide under the ring for a cycle, get some strength in numbers.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: After how Stonefist just manhandled that team, Danielle's gonna need to bring all of TGIF, all her dirty tricks, to even have a chance. And I hate that I have to make that call for her. 

 

Simon: You're not wrong though. Stormbreaker Spear by Stonefist is going to make it even harder, as Danielle gets rocked into the turnbuckle. Danielle sliding under the ropes and out...under the apron...back out the other side with a barbed wire bat TURN AROUND STONE DANIELLE SMASHES THAT BAT INTO HIS HEAD!! She's following your advice Colin.

 

Colin: She sure is. Another bat shot right to the ribs of Stonefist. She calls for the home run...going for the head HE DUCKS AND GETS HER BY THE THROAT! WE'RE GOING TO OLYMPUS AND  SHE'S GOIN' HOME!

 

Danielle Fishel is eliminated by Stonefist! (3)

 

Simon: That'll be the night for TGIF, and next goal will be to break the curse of 3. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Kyu comes in with the Shining Wizard from jump. Stonefist a little bit punch drunk from those bats, staggering back and Kyu coils himself back for another one! Stonefist goes over the ropes! But he's tangled in.

 

Simon: So close to falling to the curse of the third, but getting it together now and coming out of those ropes, giant lariat absolutely topples Ketsu. Gets him up...DROPPING HIM WITH A SPINEBUSTER. Gets Ketsu up by the legs and we're going spinning...STONEFIST WITH THE KING OF SWING AND THE VAMPIRE'S INVITE HAS BEEN RESCINDED!! HE'S THE THIRD TO BREAK THROUGH THE THREE LINE!!

 

Kyu Ketsu is eliminated by Stonefist! (4) 

 

Colin: The fans love this guy, and I hope we can get him on the roster full-time. If we can, everyone will need to watch out.

 

Simon: And two of the top 3 weren't even supposed to be here, but they're bringing the pain.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Thor still entering by zipline and dropkick to Stonefist with such a velocity that it almost takes him out of the ring!

 

Simon: Thor's Stonefist's biggest challenge so far, but still catches these hands with a couple punches. Thor blocks the third punch and Northern Lights Suplex! Stone still manages to get up quickly and Bear Hug Slam to Thor! 

 

Colin: The guts it takes to put a God in a Bear Hug.

 

Simon: Well Colin, Stonefist is proving to be unshakable. We may need to unlatch Eradicus from the ceiling at this point.

 

Colin: Thor with a release Overhead Belly to Belly and Stonefist hits the apron but STILL in this thing. Thor with a Polish Hammer to try to shake him, Stonefist responds with a one-arm backbreaker! And a stomp to keep Thor down for a moment.

 

Simon: Neither of these fighters are goin' down easy, Colin. 

 

Colin: They're both putting on a clinic for sure. Thor and Stonefist in a test of strength...Thor gets him up and SCOOP SLAMS HIM OUT! STONEFIST'S NIGHT HAS COME TO AN END!

 

Stonefist is eliminated by Thor! (1)

 

Simon: One Kaiju down, another now stands in the ring.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Chanty riding in on a rope and pulls Thor's move on Thor! Thor falls back a bit and almost goes over the rope, but springs back with a clothesline. 

 

Simon: Thor is made of sturdier stuff, as he hits a backbreaker on her. Chanty up and Hammer Throws Thor!! Thor spills out of the ring.

 

Thor is eliminated by Chanty! (1)

 

Colin: That's a shocker for sure.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: NERO BOOTS CHANTY RIGHT OUTTA HERE!

 

Chanty is eliminated by Nero! (1)

 

Simon: Well! That was quick and expected. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Zeke was one and done with eliminations, let's see if his partner can fare better.

 

Simon: Against Nero? That may well be a futile effort. Nero with a devastating headbutt and knocks Deke out of the ring and right out of the match!! 

 

Deke the Freak is eliminated by Nero! (2)

 

Colin: You called it. Futile effort.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Aiko, similarly to many others, got their start here at MAWL in that February Dueling Rumble, so in our half year mark, it's full circle for the Moonblade to be here. And she's wasting no time hitting that Moonblade Kick!! Nero staggers back, she hits another and Nero can't keep his footing!! He is outta here! 

 

Nero is eliminated by Aiko! (1)

 

Simon: Aiko is the future of this business and Nero just got a taste of his own medicine.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: The rest of us are holding out for a hero too, Bonnie, rather than a lackey.

 

Simon: He comes out at number 84, which if you want to put that in box office terms, is Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. 

 

Colin: Somehow it seems fitting. 

 

Simon: He comes in and right from jump blasts Aiko with a film canister!! That staggers back and are we gonna get ANOTHER quick elimination? No, Aiko makes her way back into the ring from the apron. Anderson tries it again, Aiko ducks, behind Anderson and a bulldog!

 

Colin: There's a quickness to Aiko and a ring savvy that upends competitors sometimes twice her size. We saw it with Nero and now Anderson is proving to have difficulty with her as well. She hits him with a belly to belly!! Off the ropes, Anderson starting to sit up and Aiko gets him with a sliding Axe Handle. 

 

Simon: It beggars the question, what do you do when there's no right answer? 

 

Colin: Absolutely, Simon, Aiko is just getting Anderson from all ends. Red Carpet trying to fight to his knees but Aiko right there with a side roundhouse kick combo. 

 

Simon: Anderson grabs her leg and Dragon Leg Screw! Signs of life coming from him, but she moves out of the way of his stomp and cuts the momentum quickly with a brutal chop block to his right leg! 

 

Colin: That's gonna make walking the Red Carpet a lot more difficult. 

 

Simon: It'll be more of a Cat-Hobble. Aiko sends herself running across the ropes, MARK EVADES AND LAUNCHES HER OUT ONTO THE APRON! HE COULD END IT RIGHT HERE! 

 

Colin: He decides instead to pull her over the Rope...RED ROPE STUNNER! That Stunner could have eliminated her!

 

Simon: Guess his stunt double does all the thinky parts. He tries to stomp her, she rolls out of the way and kicks at the back of the right leg. He hops a bit but gets himself back together...Ripcords her into a Short-Arm Lariat! It's a Cutaway Clothesline!

 

Colin: That hurt her worse than when they ended the sale on animal backpacks!

 

Simon: He kicks her in the stomach and the crowd hates it. He poses for them, wasting precious time, but it looks like Aiko is struggling to get up anyway.

 

Colin: Anderson helps her up just to get that tilt-a-whirl going and Premiere Backbreaker!! Scooping her up...ohhh he's got her in that German Suplex position as the Countdown Clock Starts...

 

10! 9! 8! 7!

 

Simon: MARQUEE SUPLEX OVER THE ROPES...

 

6!

 

Simon: Aiko is out..

 

5!

 

Simon: NO! SHE KEEPS HERSELF ON THE APRON-

 

4!

 

Simon: WITH A HANDSTAND-

 

3!

 

Simon: POISON RANA! RED CARPET IS OUT!!

 

Red Carpet Mark Anderson is eliminated by Aiko! (2)

 

2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Genesis steps into the ring and Aiko already has a dropkick ready for him! Genesis knocked onto the apron but gets himself back in and she is ready one again, catching him with a spinning back fist. Aiko is on fire! 

 

Simon: Side kick keeps the pressure on, and Genesis finally showing some life, an arm drag onto the apron but Aiko rolls in easily, kips up and gets Genesis with a Belly to Belly! Genesis rolls back to the ropes MOONBLADE KICK TAKES HIM OUT! WAIT - HE JUMPS UP ON THE APRON AND SUPLEXES HER OVER THE RING ROPES! HE KNEW HE WAS OUT AND TOOK HIM WITH HER!

 

Aiko (3) and Genesis (1) eliminate each other!

 

Colin: Now that was just petty. Genesis could have easily left well enough alone and let Aiko stay in this. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: Brutality awaits whoever is next in line.

 

 

Colin: Somehow I think that won't be a problem for him. Jay uppercuts Luciano with his crowbar and Luciano gets knocked out to the apron, but Luciano steps back right back in and stares Joker down, defiant. Joker laughing and a headbutt to Luciano, Luciano's expression doesn't change.

 

Simon: This is just going to push Joker further to try to break him. 

 

Colin: A crowbar to the stomach, and the Joker knuckles out for Last Laugh! Luciano is over the ropes1! He's out!

 

Luciano is eliminated by Jay the Joker! (1)

 

Simon: Luciano steps back in the ring! And he's back in the Joker's face! Someone tell him he's been eliminated! 

 

Colin: I don't think he quite understood what kind of match he was in, and ref Andra Jones explaining it to him...Luciano is pissed, but he leaves the ring. I would not go backstage once I was eliminated if I were Jay the Joker. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Joker with a snap neckbreaker to Bettie Jo, and stomping her out. Drop Toe Hold by Bettie to try to get some momentum back, but Joker loads his leg up and huge boot to her face. She rolls back and JOKER BLASTS HER WITH A LAST LAUGH KNUX PUNCH SENDING HER OVER THE EDGE! 

 

Broadcast Bettie Jo is eliminated by Jay the Joker! (2)

 

Simon: Jay the Joker just absolutely owning the ring right now. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Violet steps into the ring and immediately gets a crowbar to the ribs from Joker, and a headbutt! Violet is already struggling and Joker just laughing as he traipses around her, kicking her in the back and stomach. 

 

Simon: Violet pops up with an uppercut! OH But Joker catches the arm and into a Samoan Driver! Violet rolls up and Atomic Drop to Jay the Joker. Charging for a clothesline, he evades and drives her into the turnbuckle! Violet with a Sliced Bread to Joker! 

 

Colin: This is the most work that Joker has had to do this match, Violet's giving as much as she's getting.

 

Simon: That's right Colin, the first two went down fairly easy but Violet is putting up a hell of a fight. Joker gets her with an eye poke, she slams his head into the mat with force! Violet climbing to her feet, Joker pulls out his Knucks...LAST LAUGH PUNCH TO VIOLET! SHE TIPS OVER THE ROPES AND HE FINISHES THE JOB! 

 

Violet is eliminated by Jay the Joker! (3)

 

Colin: Joker once again could not be finished but Violet did what no one else had yet which is put the hurt on him.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Tank is the obstacle that stands between Jay the Joker and the top of the leaderboard. 

 

Simon: It's a hell of an obstacle.

 

Colin: Sure is. Joker ready for him though and the moment Tank walks in the ring cracks him with that crowbar uppercut sending Tank over the edge! Tank able to manage his body and remain on the apron, and that just pissed him off.

 

Simon: Hopefully he learns from Luciano and doesn't just try to intimidate but actually act on it. That headbutt is going to go some way towards it. Tank goes for a second but Jay evades and an elbow to the back of the head. Jay going for a Clothesline, Tank evades and guillotines Jay on the top rope! 

 

Colin: Tank one-arms Jay and chokeslams him over the ropes!! JAY HOLDS ON, SOMEHOW HE HOLDS ON AND HE'S JUST LAUGHING IT OFF! Tank attempts to big boot Jay over and he is wrapped in the ropes! 

 

Simon: He may have a hard time taking him out of the ropes, but he's taking the opportunity while Jay is tangled in to nail him with a double axe handle. Jay gets himself out of the ropes AND TANK SPEARS HIM OUT OF THE RING! OVER THE ROPES AND THROUGH THE WOODS JAY THE JOKER IS DONE!!

 

Jay the Joker is eliminated by Tank Vanguard! (1)

 

Colin: Like we said. Hell of an obstacle. And he couldn't overcome it.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: One of the Animalities are here and ready to tear it up. 

 

Simon: And Tank ready to tear him down, immediately shoulder tackles him over the rope! And Lionheart able to roll back in and save himself up to the ropes and missile dropkick pushes Tank back. 

 

Colin: Tank only momentarily bothered by this, gets Lionheart with one hand CONCUSSIVE BLASTS HIM OUTTA THE RING!! 

 

Lionheart is eliminated by Tank Vanguard! (2)

 

Simon: Tank's tank is still full, and he could take this pretty far potentially.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: DX steps into the ring, feeling himself and Tank just boots him backwards! He's able to hold himself on the ropes, but Tank pulls him off, and ONE ARM SPINEBUSTER! CONCUSSIVE BLAST! DX lands on the apron and rolls himself in.

 

Simon: Tank already demonstrating how little fear or respect he has for any of these fighters, pulls Royal up by the arm and with one arm judo flips him. DX back to his feet and attempting to Irish Whip Tank out, but it doesn't get very far.

 

Colin: The man is a beast. And he pulls DX back to him and one-arm backbreaker. DX trying to get to his feet and gets a huge chop as if to say "Don't try it."

 

Simon: DX is nothing if not brave or obstinate, depending on your take, and he's up to his feet and gives a knife edge chop right back and a dropsault!! The spirit isn't broken yet, Colin.

 

Colin: It sure isn't Simon but ANOTHER Concussive Blast might cure that. Picks him up by the neck and Deadlift Chokeslam! And now he just WALKS on him!

 

Simon: Both of those power moves could have taken DX out of this match, Colin.

 

Colin: You're right, but I think Tank is punishing him for daring to fight back. 

 

Simon: Maybe true, but you shouldn't play with your food, especially if it's not dead yet and DX rakes the eyes of Tank as Tank attempts another chokeslam. DX kicks him low, AND SCOOP SLAMS HIM. HOW DID HE GET THE ENERGY AFTER ALL THAT ABUSE. 

 

Colin: I don't know but he's going to try to muster another one of those, this time to the outside, HOLY SHIT HE ACTUALLY DOES IT! DX ROYAL ELIMINATES TANK VANGUARD RIGHT BEFORE THE COUNTDOWN CLOCK KICKS IN! 

 

Tank Vanguard is eliminated by DX Royal! (1)

 

Simon: WHAT. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: DX blasts Ben with a series of chops. Ben punches back by a double elbow shot, DX turns it quickly with the Kiss of Death Cutter! A second Cutter! 

 

Simon: Banana struggling to his feet, using the ropes to get up, DX charges and Banana pulls down the ropes! DX is out!

 

DX Royal is eliminated by Banana Ben! (1)

 

Colin: Banana is exhausted but manages just to save himself! Whether he'll be able to last long is a different story.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Aggie comes in and boots Banana right out!

 

Banana Ben is eliminated by Aggie the Clown Prince of Hell! (1)

 

Colin: The man who just took the Eurasian Belt belt off JCM Ace capping his worst month in MAWL just enjoyed a nice Banana Split!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: As we wait for Tortuga to make it to the ring, we invite you to check out in a few days' time the premiere episode of Frequency of the Damned, where there will be our first ever Brand-Split Draft. Alastor and I will be deciding who goes where. Again, this is where today's rumble comes from. Had EM He not gambled away half our roster, today's show would have been more of an immediate impact. But it wouldn't make sense to start a whole new set of rivalries just to have our brand split off.

 

Simon: Also, be sure to tune in for Baptized in Blood, our all-blood themed PPV taking place next week in Mexico City, which will feature a BRAND NEW main title to replace the Mania Championship that Balor Wolfe will be taking over to Frequency with him. We'll also be debuting the commentator who will be taking Colin's seat as he moves to replace EM He as the new GM of Madness. Which, congratulations again.

 

Colin: Thank you sir. And to be more accurate, we'll be debuting the commentator who is taking YOUR seat, as you'll be filling mine as the main commentator. Which congratulations to you as well.

 

Simon: And I thank you sir. It's an honor to fill that seat and I hope I do it justice.

 

Colin: Normally, someone would have come in by now to fill this gap, but Aggie appears to be playing Solitaire in the middle of the ring as we await Tortuga to make his way, or for the countdown clock. 

 

Simon: Which I think is coming any second now.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: And the diametric opposite of Tortuga, no song and he's already in the ring staring down Aggie, and Aggie hits him with a headbutt. Cellula barely moves and a Flatliner to Aggie! He hits a huge elbow drop to the throat of Aggie! 

 

Colin: Cellula hits a backbreaker on Aggie. Aggie responds with a snap powerslam, but Cellula back to his feet with a huge knee shot to the chin of Aggie, and up onto the shoulders...Samoan Drop over the ropes! Oh but Aggie holds on by one hand and avoids elimination just barely. Cellula kicks him in the ribs to get him to fall but so far no go. Another kick this time to the hand and Aggie still refusing to let go. Cellula finally gets him down with a head kick! 

 

Aggie the Clown Prince of Hell is eliminated by Cellula! (1)

 

Simon: Tortuga is still not in the ring.

 

Colin: Had he not come out before the next person, he would have been disqualified but he got out through the entrance so he's in this match as he's still walking down the ramp. 

 

Simon: So technically there are two people and so we don't need to go right to the countdown. 

 

Colin: I'd say that he could go down under the ropes and get him in, but it's not bad strategy in a match that starts the countdown clock the moment you're the only legal competitor rather than let you run out the clock to get this rare breath.

 

Simon: Cellula's month starting right from our June 2nd show in his hometown of Baltimore has been pretty unimpeachable. 

 

Colin: He was one of the few non-GHW competitors at that show, and got a hero's welcome there. And now we're getting the countdown clock. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: There might be some grumbling about Alastor's being at 71, and if we were ranking power like Dragon Ball Z or pure win percentage he'd be up at or near the top, but he has only participated in a few matches. Won em all, but the match count itself keeps Alastor just over the middle line. 

 

Simon: That's right, being undefeated is great and for most people difficult, and winning a whole show for yourself is a HUGE flex, but you don't win the matches you don't fight.

 

Colin: But let's talk about who IS here, as Cellula sizes up Dedo Apestoso de la Muerte, someone whose name is popping around the office and we're hoping to sign full-time. 

 

Crowd: Chicken! Chicken! 

 

Simon: Sounds like they know who he is, and into the ring he makes it with a running swinging neckbreaker. Cellula quick to his feet, blocks a chop by Dedo and gives one back. Dedo grabs his arm and sends him the long way to the ropes, Cellula instinctively running back and Dedo gets him up....WAY UP....BACK BODY DROP FROM THE VALLEYS TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!! CELLULA'S AMAZING MONTH IS OVER!

 

Cellula is eliminated by Dedo Apestoso de la Muerte! (1)

 

Colin: What a splash! And we've still got a way to go and I guess Tortuga is about halfway-ish to the ring-wait, what's happening now?

 

Simon: Look up on the rafters!!

 

 

Colin: RIDING DOWN ON THOR'S ZIPLINE AND HE DROPKICKS DEDO AT FULL VELOCITY RIGHT OUT OF THE RING!!!

 

Simon: He calls himself the "Aerial Assassin" and he just proved that nickname in his first move in a MAWL ring.

 

Dedo Apestoso de la Muerte is eliminated by Aerial Assassin Shawn Harris! (1)

 

Colin: We still have 65 seconds, and Tortuga's made little progress in getting to the ring. 

 

Simon: Harris is calling anyone and everyone to come get some. 

 

Colin: Well, I'm seeing fists...I'm not hearing music, but there's a brawl happening from the crowd-

 

 

Colin: Guess there was a layover on the way to England...these four have to be back in England in a number of days to be back on Path's screens, but here we go. DEF JAM HITS A HUGE SPINEBUSTER ON HARRIS, AND THUNDER WITH A BRUTAL ENZUIGIRI ON SCYTHE! DEF SENDS HARRIS FLYING OUT OF THIS MATCH!! 

 

Aerial Assassin Shawn Harris is eliminated by Def Jam! (1)

 

Simon: Aerial Assassination works both ways I guess. 

 

Colin: And now in the ring, we've got the dissolution of the team that came to invade MAWL earlier this month. And this isn't going to last TOO long, as Thunder and Def each eliminate their respective family members with stereo superkicks!!

 

Jared Scythe is eliminated by Def Jam! (2) Daria Donner is eliminated by Sting Ray Steve Thunder! (1)

 

Simon: Just down to Def and Thunder now!! Technically also Tortuga but he's still not here. 

 

Colin: Thunder spins around and a rib kick by Def! Def gets the Double Underhook, lifting Thunder onto the Right Shoulder....DREAM CRUSHER!! 

 

Simon: Thunder's ribs had been taking all sorts of brutalization over the past few weeks, and I'm just realizing this doesn't make good on Thunder's promise to stay focused on Path! 

 

Colin: Well, they were all here so I don't think it counts. 

 

Simon: But DefJam is putting on a clinic in this match. Thunder kip up and a tornado DDT to Def! Thunder with a flipping armdrag and keeps it moving, Moonsault Knee Drop! Def with a headbutt and we get the countdown!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Jassy has Steve's arm and that Inverted One Arm Judo Throw over the ropes and Thunder is OH WAIT THUNDER'S FEET LANDED UPWARD ON A ROLLING CHAIR! 

 

Colin: Thunder's going to try to channel his inner Kingston, riding the chair, jumps up onto the apron, HE STAYS IN, DEF JAM COMES TO ELBOW HIM AND THUNDER CORKSCREW HEADSCISSORS HIM OUT OF THE RING!!! AND DEF JAM IS...HE IS ON THE CHAIR! DEF JAM KEEPS HIMSELF ON THE CHAIR AND IN THIS MATCH! And Jassy gets Thunder in the back with the Clothesline! Jassy gets the barbed wire bat and she just goes into the back of Thunder! And his ribs! And HE MONKEY FLIPS HER THE HELL OUTTA THE MATCH!

 

Jassy is eliminated by Sting Ray Steve Thunder! (2)

 

Simon: Back to Thunder and Def Jam! Thunder has to be gassed...rolling out under the bottom ring SPRINGBOARD SHOOTING STAR AND CUTTER TO DEF JAM!!! VENOM SPIKE!!!

 

Colin: Def and Thunder are both absolutely FLATTENED. Def struggling to his feet first, pulls Thunder into that Double Underhook... Thunder going for another ride! DREEEEEEAM CRUSHER!! And all he has to do is get Thunder over the ropes, and scooping him over, Thunder GETS HIS LEGS AROUND DEF'S HEAD AND HEADSCISSORS OVER THE RING!!! 

 

Def Jam is eliminated by Sting Ray Steve Thunder! (3)

 

Simon: Thunder gets only a few seconds to try to recuperate, but two Dream Crushers and several bat shots later, it is very unlikely going to be enough.

 

Colin: He can barely stand. I have no idea how he even managed what he has. But what a show by Def Jam. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Winston Lewis walks out with a microphone. He looks up at his placement on the Titantron, then signals to cut the music. 

 

He looks around, holds the microphone up and clears his throat as if he's going to say something profound. 

 

After a moment:

 

Winston: Nice.

 

Winston drops the mic and jogs to the ring, where Tortuga has reached the apron.

 

Simon: Tortuga finally almost there and Winston Lewis is going to help him with the last few steps as he throws him in the ring. 

 

Colin: Winston rather pleased with his placement. Winston tosses Thunder over the top rope bouncer style and Thunder lands on the Spanish Announcers' table!! WINSTON LAUNCHES TORTUGA OVER THE ROPES AND PUTS THUNDER THROUGH THE TABLE!! THUNDER IS OUT!! THUNDER IS DONE!!!! WAIT...TORTUGA GETTING TO HIS FEET AND THAT MEANS HIS FEET HAVE TOUCHED TOO!

 

Tortuga (to announcers): Lo Siento.

 

Sting Ray Steve Thunder and Tortuga De Acero are eliminated by Tortuga De Acero (1/2) and High Risk Winston Lewis (1/2)! 

 

Simon: You gotta hand it to Winston Lewis. That was a solid play. 

 

Colin: Tortuga De Acero took three minutes to get to the ring, and then lasted in the competition for 10 seconds. That's gotta sting. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Lewis hits Bowen with a chop and immediately backs away from his intimidating stare. Bowen gets him anyway with the long reach of his boot! Staggers Lewis back, Bowen runs him down with a Polish Hammer and he finds himself starting to tip over the rope...catches himself, but that cowardice is kicking in and he darts under the bottom rope! 

 

Simon: I don't know if it's Cowardice, Colin, or smarts...Bowen charges him and Lewis catches him by the head! Guillotine over the rope!

 

Colin: Bowen's not going to take too kindly to that and a headbutt knocks Lewis off the apron. Bowen raising his hands, but Lewis isn't out of this thing, he went under the bottom rope.

 

Simon: Like I said, smarts. And Lewis goes under the apron, takes a slate board, back on the apron, breaks it in Bowen's face! 

 

Colin: Bowen may not be the sharpest, but he also doesn't go down easy, and headbutts him again! And a backbreaker to Winston Lewis!! Bowen gets him up by the head and launches him out of the ring! That'll do ya! 

 

High Risk Winston Lewis is eliminated by Bowen Baneclaw! (1)

 

Simon: High risk, no reward. And so it goes. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Two absolute bastards from opposite ends of the pond. Axel started as Landon Gentry and-

 

Simon: Now he's landin' on his head. Bowen's already booted him out of the ring. 

 

Axel is eliminated by Bowen Baneclaw! (2)

 

Colin: Well, he's nothing if not consistent. Anyway.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: HAIL. To the King.

 

Colin: Goldmane came in seeking singles glory, but fell in with Animalities and is now a two-time Trios Champion. 

 

Simon: Well, he'll have to see if his singles skills are still up to snuff here in taking on Bowen Baneclaw. Bowen already hitting him with a double axe handle BUT KINGSTON ARM WHIPS HIM OVER THE ROPE AND he'll hit the apron and roll back in. 

 

Colin: Bends Kingston's right knee back and the lift....smashes Kingston's leg into his knee! And a kick to Kingston's right leg. Kingston with the back elbow to try to ward him off and a left roundhouse kick to make the point! BOWEN UNDETERRED, GETS VICTOR UP INTO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR, HEADING TO THE ROPES AND DROPPING HIM OUT VICTOR LOCKS HIS LEGS AROUND BOWEN'S NECK AND POISON RANA!!! VICTOR KINGSTON MAY BE OUT BUT HE'S TAKING BOWEN BANECLAW WITH HIM DAMMIT!!!

 

Bowen Baneclaw (3) and Goldmane Victor Kingston (1) eliminate each other!

 

Colin: The amount of mutually assured destruction in this rumble has been truly amazing! 

 

Simon: So we got two people about to reset the clock.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Self-assured to the point of downright cocky, T. Krip and his partner H. Dog started off MAWL's year gaining the tag team titles, and though it's been a rocky road, this man almost seems to forget he loses.

 

Simon: He is a Human Low Rider Car. He's bluster beyond measure but he backs it up with brutality. 

 

"LET ME TELL YOU A STORY!"

 

Colin: That's not an Earthquake you're feeling...the crowd's rumbling is at what right now feels like a fever pitch...

 

 

Colin: THE ENTIRETY OF MANNY RAMJOHN STADIUM IS ON THEIR FEET READY FOR STORYTIME!

 

Simon: You are VASTLY underselling what we're experiencing right now, Colin! TOCO TO ICACOS, CROWN POINT TO PIRATE'S BAY, THE ENTIRE MULTI-ISLAND NATION OF TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO HAVE RISEN UP IN A FERVOR THAT'S TRULY INDESCRIBABLE. 

 

Colin: And the smug braggadocio on T. Krip's face belies the sweat beads ruining his perfectly manicured no-cares hairdo!

 

Simon: The frosted caps are melting, Colin!

 

Colin: And all of this, the supercharge of having a whole nation behind you, is accelerating the normally serene Elijah to Mach-3. If you've ever wondered what Elijah looks like in triple-speed, you're about to see it AND HE CHARGES IN BLASTING T. KRIP WITH A FLURRY OF ELBOWS! T. KRIP BACKED INTO THE ROPE, KNEE SHOT SENDS T. KRIP OVER THE ROPE, ELI TAKING A PERPENDICULAR RUN AT HIM, SPRINGBOARD AND THERE'S THE FLIP STUNNER A DUPPY RISE TAKES T. KRIP OUT OF THIS MATCH!!

 

T. Krip is eliminated by The Cryptic One Elijah! (1)

 

Simon: LET'S GO!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: Magnus storms to the ring and the crowd hasn't sat down yet, comes in ELIJAH HURRICANRANAS HIM RIGHT BACK OUT!!

 

Magnus is eliminated by The Cryptic One Elijah! (2)

 

Colin: Elijah rolls out under the ropes and...I think...he's getting a Table! And a second as we get the countdown!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: He assembled that table stack with the speed that a sniper assembles a rifle. He's back in the ring, but she's gonna make a pit stop under the ring first.

 

Simon: Looks like it's gonna be a tire iron that she found.

 

Colin: Perfect for when you wanna get your car fixed under the ring.

 

Simon: Clown cars need mechanics too, Colin.

 

Colin: She comes charging at him, looks like his table tower will need to wait, he goes low to avoid the tire iron swing and BACK BODY DROPS HER OUT OF THIS MATCH!

 

Simon: This particular story is a DuckTale and she just got Launchpad McQuacked! 

 

Crowd: Woo-OO!

 

Faith is eliminated by The Cryptic One Elijah! (3)

 

Simon: It's that quick thinking that resulted in one of my favorite moments this year, where Elijah won an I Quit match against Stitches without throwing a punch that segment.

 

Colin: Elijah undoubtedly has one of the highest Ring IQs I've seen in my career. But, he is at that dreaded 3 mark, can he break through?

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: The Port Maria Platypus is here, repping Jamaica and playing out a Footie rivalry right here and now. She runs in and immediately Elijah with the Hurricanrana and Hazel is OU-WAIT! HAZEL LANDS OUTSIDE IN A HANDSTAND AND SPRINGS HERSELF BACK ON THE APRON AND INTO THE RING! 

 

Simon: To this point, Eli's book has been a collection of Short Stories, but Hazel is the first one to really give him a challenge. Hazel comes around with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors to Eli BUT ELI LANDS ON HIS FEET, DUCKS THE TROUBLE IN PARADISE, GOING FOR A SPIN KICK AND HAZEL CARTWHEELS OVER IT, MATRIX BEND BY ELI UNDER THE ROUNDHOUSE FROM HAZEL, PELE KICK BY ELI IS THE FIRST BLOW TO TRULY LAND! 

 

Colin: Hazel coming back, springboarding and Asai Moonsault ELI CATCHES HAZEL AND TOSSES HER OVER THE ROPES!!

 

Hazel Clarke is eliminated by The Cryptic One Elijah! (4)

 

Simon: ELIJAH BREAKS THROUGH THE THREE HOLE! HE'S THE 4TH PERSON TO HIT THE 4-PEAT! 

 

Colin: Elijah rolling under the ropes...is he going to put Hazel through the tables?

 

Simon: NO! He's giving her a hug and raising her hand! Showing some respect to the first person to actually give him a real pushback in the ring and a fellow Islander. 

 

The crowd shows their love for this.

 

Colin: The difference between a sports rivalry and a wrestling rivalry is that a sports rivalry at the end is love. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Gilberto charging Eli, going for the clothesline, looking to end Eli's run, Eli dodges and a knee to the gut of Gilberto. Gilberto responds with another clothesline, this one hits but doesn't risk sending Eli out.

 

Simon: Eli quick to his feet, Irish Whip to Gilberto, Gilberto coming back and Elijah blasts him with a Douen Strike!! ELI GRABS GILBERTO FROM THE BEARD AND LIFTS HIM UP...LAUNCHES HIM THROUGH THE TABLES OUTSIDE!!! 

 

Gilberto J is eliminated by The Cryptic One Elijah! (5)

 

Colin: ELI IS THE FIRST ONE TO GET A FIFTH ELIMINATION, AND NO ONE BETTER TO DO IT HERE!! AND NO BETTER WAY TO DO IT THAN THROUGH THE TABLES!!!

 

Crowd: STORY TIME! STORY TIME! STORY TIME!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Knee shot by Elijah to greet Rufus to the ring, hurricanranas him to eject him from the ring!!

 

Rufus is eliminated by The Cryptic One Elijah! (6)

 

Simon: Elijah owns this ring. He owns this crowd. At this point he's towering over the lead. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Jaguar King throwing fists left right and center, but Elijah deftly blocking each punch. Jaguar's frustration kicking in, going for the Iron Claw and Elijah able to block the Claw and shifting that to a test of strength...battling back and forth but Elijah gets the upper hand and the Irish Whip...DOUEN STRIKE! ELIJAH CANNOT BE STOPPED AND TOSSES JAGUAR KING OUT OF THE RING!!

 

Jaguar King is eliminated by The Cryptic One Elijah! (7)

 

Simon: We were concerned about Elijah breaking that three hold but he's eclipsed it!! 

 

Colin: Not only that, Simon, but he's right now tied for the most eliminations in a single match period. The only other person to get 7 eliminations in a single match is Anastasia in the Dueling Rumble back in FEBRUARY. He gets one more and that record is his for the guarding. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: H. Dog isn't going to make this easy...running in for the Bulldog ELIJAH DOESN'T GO ALONG WITH HIM! SUPERKICK AND H. DOG IS OVER THE ROPE!!! HOLY HELL, ELIJAH DID IT LIKE IT WAS NOTHING!! HE BROKE THE SINGLE ELIMINATION RECORD!!

 

H. Dog is eliminated by The Cryptic One Elijah! (8)

 

Simon: This crowd is simply electric as Elijah makes history and single-handedly dispatches of P. Crue in the process. But for Elijah, it's just another fight.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: The crowd hates this man, and I don't blame them.

 

Simon: I know when someone gives Colonizer Energy as I've had to come to terms that I do, and this man wears it like it's an AXE Body Spray. Elijah gets him by the tie and swings him right back outta here! He's got no time for that!

 

G. Grant Harris III is eliminated by The Cryptic One Elijah! (9)

 

Colin: I'm glad you can be self-aware, Simon. Elijah's already got the single eliminations locked down for now, and he's zeroing in on most eliminations in a single match type, currently held by Gozu with 11, though Gozu could well pad that tonight if he wins. 

 

Simon: We are talking a lot about statistics because this show marks a halfway point in the year, as well as the final time the roster is unified, so it is a good time to reflect on where everything stands. 

 

Colin: Speaking on stands, we have a packed crowd tonight, Elijah's homecoming selling out the seats. And he awaits his next competitor as we see who is currently ranked at number 55. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Forearm shot by El Cerrador, Elijah pushed back a little, and Cerrador running the other way, comes back and catches Elijah with a Sling Blade! El to the legs, locking in for the Figure Four!

 

Simon: Ah but he's got his own little flavor to it, all told we're witnessing El Cerrón and Elijah trying to keep a steady expression as he seeks the ropes but signs of strain are starting to humanize the legend! 

 

Colin: A rope break won't actually do much, it's a no DQ type of match, but conversely a submission also doesn't eliminate, so these two could be in a deadlock for some time. 

 

Simon: Elijah trying to use the ropes more for leverage, Cerrador kicks at the back of his knee, Elijah stomping back to try to get some control, on the ropes again and trying to get some leverage, Cerrador flips the hold in the other way!! 

 

Colin: Does...does he understand the type of match he's in?

 

Simon: I couldn't honestly tell you, but Elijah gets his hands on a bat and he's whacking at the legs of El Cerrador now! FINALLY FREE AND HOBBLING A LITTLE...CERRADOR OFF THE ROPES AND ELIJAH BLASTS HIM WITH THE DOUEN STRIKE! EL CERRADOR STAGGERS BACK A LITTLE AND ELIJAH KICKS HIM OUT OF THE RING! AND HE'S DO-NO! EL CERRADOR BARELY HANGING ON! HE CAN'T KEEP HIS FOOTING AND HE IS OUT OF THIS MATCH!

 

El Cerrador is eliminated by The Cryptic One Elijah! (10)

 

Colin: El Cerrador did what no one else could so far and has put the true hurt on Elijah, but it wasn't enough to shake the Cryptic One out of the tree. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Dain with a quick double chop but Elijah catches her out to hit that classic Crick Crack...MONKEY BREAK HER BACK! Kira with a scissor leg trip!

 

Simon: Kira gets that Figure 4 leg lock and here comes the bridge! 4 Cast!! 

 

Colin: Once again, this is not a submission match, and I think the goal in this is almost becoming break Elijah's legs, continuing the work that El Cerrador started, and that's not going to cause her to be endeared to these fans. 

 

Simon: I don't think she's too concerned with that though and he still pushing through, hitting her with some elbow shots, she rolls away from his clothesline and recollects herself. 

 

Crowd: You are boring! [Rhythmic Clapping] You are boring! [Rhythmic Clapping]

 

Colin: You might not be right about her being unbothered by the crowd, she just grabbed the bat and she's absolutely battering the legs of Elijah!! She points to the sky, going for the home run hit, uppercuts Elijah and he goes out of the ring! He may be-WAIT HE ROLLED HIS LEGS INTO HIS CHEST AS HE WENT OUT! HIS FEET NEVER TOUCHED THE GROUND!! 

 

Simon: The ring IQ, like you said. Absolute genius. He rolls himself back to the ring, you can see the hobble in his legs as he makes it back to the apron, he pulls her head over and trying for a piledriver, but Kira holds on. Elijah switching it up and runs her head into the turnbuckle!! And another smash! He comes up onto the ropes AND DUPPY RISE INTO THE RING!! Kira trips him and gets that Figure 4 back into play!! The 4-Cast will take us through the Countdown Clock as Elijah still maintains his presence in this match!!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: And Kira gets Elijah into a Crucifix Hold...she's about to make herself Public Enemy Number 1...she drops him on his head out of the ring!! And Elijah is flattened upside down along the ring! He's not quite out of this, but it's gonna be difficult for him to get to his feet and so for right now it's going to be Saber and Dain battling it out. 

 

Simon: Dain turns her attention to Saber and elbow shot. 

 

Colin: Elijah's feet are sinking, sliding down the apron, if they both hit he's done. 

 

Simon: Dain grabs Saber's hair and a huge backbreaker!

 

Colin: The crowd boos. That's a no-no. 

 

Simon: The crowd riling up! The crowd making some noise! ELIJAH IS SPIDER WALKING UP THE APRON!!! WHAT THE HELL! 

 

Colin: ELIJAH IS STILL IN THIS MATCH! HE'S ON THE APRON! THE CROWD IS TOO THEIR FEET! PUNCH TO THE HEAD OF KIRA! PUNCH TO SABER! PUNCH TO KIRA! PUNCH TO SABER! HE PULLS SABER OVER THE EDGE AND OUT OF THE MATCH!!

 

Black Saber is eliminated by The Cryptic One Elijah! (11)

 

Simon: Oh I would run if I were Kira. 

 

Colin: He's got that look in his eyes...I don't think she's gonna have a chance...HE GETS HER BY THE NECK! CHOKESLAMS HER OUT OF THIS MATCH!! 12!! 12 ELIMINATIONS IN ONE MATCH!! THE CROWD IS BREAKING THE DECIBEL SPELL LIKE ELIJAH IS BREAKING RECORDS!!

 

Kira Dain is eliminated by The Cryptic One Elijah! (12)

 

Simon: Whatever happens now. MAWL History is set in this Ring. By this Man. The Man Who Powered Back. The Legend Who Ascended. 

 

Crowd: STORY TIME! STORY TIME! STORY TIME! 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Elijah with a solid series of elbow shots, whipping Bloodswan off the ropes and Douen Strike!! Bloodswan rolls back and a sweep kick, ah she was paying attention.

 

Simon: Never count the trios champs out, Colin, especially not Bloodswan. And Swan with a kick to his legs to keep the work going on Eli's leg, grabs his leg and putting pressure on the back of the knee. Eli trying to use his other leg to push her away, rolling away and big clothesline! Eli gets her up with a devastating bodyslam! 

 

Colin: Bloodswan coming off the ropes, Pirouette and there is the Jête Knee, Eli gets staggered back but body drops Bloodswan over!! 

 

Bloodswan is eliminated by The Cryptic One Elijah! (13)

 

Simon: Unlucky 13 for Bloodswan. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Taylor Tiger started this year as a nebbish awkward tag team partner reluctantly entered in the W2 and he's since grown into a pretty strong competitor in his oh and he's gone.

 

Simon: Elijah made quick work of him.

 

Colin: Yep. 

 

Tenacious Taylor Tiger is eliminated by The Cryptic One Elijah! (14)

 

Simon: I'm surprised he can still stand, but he's still standing on business. 

 

Colin: And we're about to crack our Top 50!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Razlyn Shah is an odd case as unlike many stars who find their stars rise after turning their back on a team member, on MAWL's rabid fanbase, but most of Shah's success comes from her time as the Reckless one. She may have actually traded down here.

 

Simon: I suspect you may be right but maybe today will be a chance to right that oh and she's already been eliminated from this match.

 

Reborn Razlyn Shah is eliminated by The Cryptic One Elijah! (15)

 

Colin: What happened??

 

Simon: Well, from what I can gather, Eli taunted her, she started to charge but quickly stopped herself to regain her composure and remember who she is now, and in that pause Elijah ran in with a Huracanrana, taking her right out of the match. 

 

Colin: 15 falls. Man might just walk away with this thing. Meanwhile I hope Shah can re-find herself. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Matrix has that Ethernet Cord Cat o'Nine Tails up and around the neck of Elijah!! She's choking him out!! He's trying to fight her away, pull away, she kicks out the back of his leg and is just stretching him out! A huge knee to his face and she lets the whip off for now.

 

Colin: And puts him down with a huge boot! The man has been through 15 other competitors, you have to think he's a little spent, and she's just taking full advantage now. Kicking out the legs, she's just standing on his ankles!! 

 

Simon: Donna has been in full control since she got in the ring, which granted hasn't been that long. 

 

Colin: Something if you've been watching that you'll know by this point is that Elijah does not go down easy. Control regained of his arms and he is elbowing Donna in the ribs! Look at that bend! 

 

Simon: Donna sure notices the bend, and she transfers her energy now to his arm. I wouldn't let go of that whip though if I were her. She gets both his arms...OH WE'RE GOING FOR A CAMEL CLUTCH! AND WE'RE ELEVATING! NO SAFEWORD HERE!

 

Colin: Maybe we need to have a submission rumble in the future. People don't seem to be understanding the assignment.

 

Simon: The crowd is rumbling...the feet are thundering...ELIJAH GETS THAT STRENGTH FROM RITUAL, FROM STORY, AND FROM COMMUNITY...IT RUNS THROUGH HIS VEINS...FALLS BACK INTO A PLAY ON A SAMOAN DROP! 

 

Colin: There's that pump! He scoops her up into a Powerslam!! He scoops her up again!! And here we go!! He's got her up...AND HE DUMPS HER OVER!!! 

 

Donna Matrix is eliminated by The Cryptic One Eli! (16)

 

Simon: And he throws the whip after her!! And we're about to go for the countdown SHE POPS BACK UP ON THE APRON!! SHE'S GOT THE WHIP AROUND HIS THROAT!! SHE PULLS HIM OVER THE ROPES!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!! 

 

The Cryptic One Eli is eliminated by Donna Matrix! (1)

 

Colin: Is that...is that how it ends for Eli??? Matrix just unloading on him now with that whip, the two of them just battling outside...he THROWS HER ONTO THE ANNOUNCER'S TABLE!!! PILEDRIVER!!!

 

Eli: Before this year is over...you and I...will visit each others' homes. 

 

Simon: I think he just challenged her to a Your Place or Mine Match! If you remember, this would be essentially a Best of 3 Match! One at Papa Boi's Den! One in the Dungeon! And a mystery third match should it be necessary!

 

Colin: But we're back to a clean ring. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Ivan Volkov, who just last week at International Incident got a win in a Fatal Four-Way to face Balor Wolfe for what....was...the Mania Title and now I'm not sure what exactly is going to happen. 

 

Simon: If that monster still only lands at 48, I'd hate to see what comes next. 

 

Colin: Well it won't be him getting his hands on Balor, Radio Silence are living up to their name tonight. 

 

 

Colin: OH! Yeah, that'll do it. 

 

Simon: Ivan throwing fists at Shadow, but Shadow evading every blow. There are few people who can match the strength of Ivan, but Shadow does rank among them...and then when you bring in his speed, Ivan is in a rare disadvantage here, which Shadow is fully owning in every direction. 

 

Colin: Shadow grabs Ivan by the wrist, Ivan fighting back and trying to regain control of his arm but Shadow with a quick spin and has Ivan in an armbar, and Ivan's muscles aren't meant to bend that way! Shadow with a quick whip and Ivan goes over the ropes!! He's...outta here as Shadow kicks his arm breaking the grasp on the rope!

 

Ivan Volkov is eliminated by Shadow Kawashima! (1)

 

Colin: Ivan coming out of this without even a single elimination means the Siberian Titan is going into his rivalry with Balor Wolfe with a chip on his shoulder the size of the Bering Sea.

 

Simon: It's probably best Radio Silence isn't here tonight. While they together could probably take down Ivan Volkov, there would be many injuries in the process.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: Elbow shot by Superstar Davy Boy, Kawashima responds with a Spinebuster! Kawashima lifts Davy Boy up and Powerbombs him right onto the apron! Davy Boy pulls him onto the apron too!

 

Colin: Shadow runs Davy into the pole! Davy Boy dizzied on the pole, Shadow with repeated head smashes on the turnbuckle. Davy punches twice to Shadow, and a giant boot! Shadow going down...no, he catches himself!

 

Simon: Davy Boy hits Shadow with a headbutt. Shadow with a big chop to Davy Boy and hits him with a German Suplex, Davy Boy rolling into the ring and pulling into a suplex...no! Forward drops Shadow over the turnbuckle pole. And with this we hit the countdown clock - 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Jeannie Rose replacing Tino Sabatelli, who is still in jail, and Superstar Davy Boy greeting her with a big ol' boot. Kawashima hits the ring and lifts Jeannie up, drops her with a powerbomb. 

 

Simon: The two of them teaming up on Jeannie, they clearly don't know too much about this person and trying to get the X-Factor situated. Hell, we don't knoa ton other than she's in contractual talks. Davy Boy takes her down with the West Coast Stunner!! Jeannie to her feet...SUPER DUPER KICK AND SHE BLASTS SHADOW KAWASHIMA OUT OF THIS MATCH!!

 

Shadow Kawashima is eliminated by Jeannie Rose! (1)

 

Colin: They were right to be concerned, she's got sniper energy, her first move already took out a favorite to win this thing. Davy Boy behind her and a big neckbreaker! She's up and a Super Duper Kick to Davy Boy and he's out of...no, able to catch with only one foot dropped and trying to pulll himself back in. 

 

Simon: Davy Boy on the apron, Jeannie with a boot to try to shake him back off, Davy with a midsection knee and he goes for...West Coast Stunner but he made the mistake of not getting back in the ring, losing balance on the apron and Jeannie as she gets to her feet pushes his legs! He's done!

 

Superstar Davy Boy is eliminated by Jeannie Rose! (2)

 

Colin: The two of them tried to gang up and she got rid of them both.

 

Simon: To be fair, Davy Boy made a rookie mistake with the Stunner placement. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Screech bringing that old school Athleticism into the ring, but Jeannie is ready for him with a Shining Wizard! She gets his arm, going for the Irish Whip, he reverses and spins that whip towards the opposite direction, charging with a clothesline and she goes over but she grabes his arm and pulls him down with her!! 

 

Jeannie Rose (3) and Screech (1) eliminate each other!

 

Simon: Which means we are back to our empty ring, and let's see who's next.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Another third of the Trios Champions, we've seen Rufus and Bloodswan so to be more precise the final third. And Tides is often underestimated because of his silence, but his performances all the way back to the first time we saw him in a MAWL ring show that Tides cannot be counted out. 

 

Simon: That's selling it short. Psycho Supremacy are one of the pre-eminent wrestling factions in history, and Tides is quite possibly the most frightening of the bunch.

 

 

Colin: But here's a man whose dictionary is missing the pages between Fresh and Fuck, and he's got the bat in hand...just unloading on Tides and an Uppercut by the Bat knocks Tides of Time over the ropes! Tides lands on that chair out there, it still carefully placed from when Thunder and Def Jam tried to rescue themselves.

 

Simon: We saw Tides use similar tricks in February's Dueling Rumble, including using a piece of broken table to remain in the match OH NO-

 

 

Simon: The masked being who definitely surely isn't Red Ghost at all we swear (it is, most likely) kicks the chair out from Tides! He's not gonna have the same Rumble Luck! 

 

Tides of Time is eliminated by Scott Razor (1) and ???

 

Colin: I believe that ends Psycho Supremacy's night! Tides gives chase but the Masked One is too quick!! 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Iris Correa was one of the competitors in the W2 this year and in her day job she's an Optometrist. 

 

Simon: Well it looks like she didn't see this coming - Scott boots her right back out!

 

Iris Correa is eliminated by Scott Razor! (2)

 

Colin: Well call us Pop Radio because we're about to get into the Top 40! 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Razor tangles with Mal Sangre and Uranage to Mal! Gets Mal up, ONE GERMAN SUPLEX, TWO GERMAN SUPLEX, MAL BITES RAZOR IN THE HAND BUT RAZOR SENDS HIM FLYING OVER THE ROPES!!

 

Mal Sangre is eliminated by Scott Razor! (3)

 

Colin: Mal is going to have a bone to pick with Scott Razor. Quite possibly some Marrow too. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: High Flyer jumps in, Scott catches him, Scott launches him, High Flyer is out!

 

High Flyer Mono is eliminated by Scott Razor! (4)

 

Colin: Razor is just bodying people left and right.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

Colin: Capybara taking a run, he leaps and right into Razor's arms! Up we go and out you go! See ya!

 

Capybara is eliminated by Scott Razor! (5)

 

Simon: Can anyone stand up to the Bully of Bullies?

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: Razor with a headbutt with El Gallito Loco, whipping across the ring, Gallito comes back and huge splash knocks Scott onto the apron! Gallito comes off the ropes, launches himself at Scott and Scott spikes him down with a giant tomahawk chop!! Gallito trips Scott on his way in.

 

Colin: Gallito hits an Asai Moonsault! Someone starting to give Scott a bit of fight back. Scott to his feet and hits a backbreaker! Gallito rolling back and jumps up for a neckbreaker. Scott to his feet and an arm whip. 

 

Simon: Scott might be getting back into this and a chokeslam onto the apron! Gallito pulls him onto the apron!! I didn't think he'd have the strength in him to do it but the two of them are battling it out! Scott blasting Loco into the post and he's out of this!!

 

El Gallito Loco is eliminated by Scott Razor! (6)

 

Simon: Razor gets him out just a second before the countdown clock and avoids a two-front war, but you can see he's in the hunt to take the top from Elijah.

 

Colin: A long way to go. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Scott Razor grabs Bianca by the shoulders and multiple headbutts.

 

Colin: Couldn't have happened to a more deserving one. But she rakes the eyes and Razor pushes back on her with an absolute Cauldron Frenzy with his trusty bat! 

 

Simon: Bianca takes the hits, grabs the bat and pushes back with her foot! Razor pushed back and Bianca takes Razor out at the ankles with his own bat! Razor goes over!! But what a run.

 

Scott Razor is eliminated by Bianca Diaz! (1)

 

Colin: Well, I take solace in that she's likely not going to win.

 

Bianca: Come at me, McRae. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Convery leaps in and a Lou Thesz on Bianca! Just going ape with those punches! Convery adds on headbutts, a great 2-for-1 sale if you ask me. 

 

Colin: That head of Craig's is like getting smashed with a medicine ball, but Bianca is made of slime and able to get out of it with an eye poke.

 

Simon: Getting him up over her shoulder and a running powerslam! Keeping pressure on him with a face wash. Oh and he bites her ankle!!

 

Colin: The man is feral, Simon. But she isn't much better and stomps down on his open mouth! Anyone else would be howling in pain but I don't know if Convery feels pain in the same way. 

 

Simon: Convery just laughing it off, Bianca pulls him up but he punches her away, she backs up, here he comes a-runnin' and HEADONCOLLISIONDRIVESHERTOTHEROPES!! 

 

Colin: She could well be outta this...he goes back again and prepares to charge her but she grabs him and gutwrench into a back body drop! HE GRABS HER ARMS IN MID AIR HOW DID HE DO THAT? They both spill out and back to the drawing board for this match!!

 

Bianca Diaz (2) and Crash Course Craig Convery (1) eliminate each other!

 

Simon: Alright then! Let's get this countdown clock going and keep this moving.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Moon first made his appearance at the W2 in a sort of similar situation, and now here we are a little over 6 months later, Moon is one of the most well-loved stars in our Federation. And 33 belongs-

 

The lights go completely out. When they come back on, already in the ring -

 

 

Colin: Moon already sensed Sombras coming and gets him with two quick chops and a high knee SOMBRAS WITH THE SHADOW STRIKE RUNNING KNEE AND MOON IS BLASTED BACKWARDS, ANOTHER AND MOON IS OUTTA HERE!

 

Moon is eliminated by Sombras! (1)

 

Simon: This is the world that Sombras operates in, moving quick and silent as shadow, and Moon was not able to keep up.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: You wanna talk about someone who can keep up, someone gifted in speed, Solemn Guardian has been turning opponents' dominant barrages around in split seconds, taking surefire victories out of the hands of foes sometimes twice his size and more. 

 

Simon: You can see it right here, Solemn dodges Sombras and a lariat to the back of the head! You know that has to mess with Sombras, who prides himself on being the "Phantom of Shadows". 

 

Colin: Sombras recalibrates himself quickly, tornado DDT takes Solemn down, Sombras follows with an elbow drop. 

 

Simon: Guardian eats the elbow but there's that speed again, grabs the arm, kips up into an arm wringer flip but SOMBRAS BLASTS HIM IN THE FACE WITH THE MIST! AND THE DROPKICK!! Solemn stumbles from the combo Sombras calls the Blood Mist Sweep, but is able to keep his footing. 

 

Colin: Not only able to keep his footing, but able to catch Sombras running at him with a second dropkick and Fireman's Carry...Conciliation Drop Samoan Driver over the ropes!! Sombras is out!!! 

 

Sombras is eliminated by Solemn Guardian! (1)

 

Simon: And that is exactly what you were saying about Solemn Guardian. 

 

Colin: Yep. Sombras made the mistake of going for the second dropkick, Solemn Guardian read the moment and in a flash took the victory away from him, and in doing so became the 100th separate person to get a fall in this match. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: The Self-Proclaimed Most Interesting Man in the World, a Best-Selling Author, but here he sits at Spot 31. 

 

Simon: Looking to change that, launches Solemn Guardian over the ropes with that T-Bone Suplex, SOLEMN HITS THE APRON, JAMES CHARGES HIM WITH THE CLOTHESLINE SOLEMN PULLS HIM OVER ONTO THE APRON SOLEMN LOOKING TO HIT THE HOLY PRECIPICE JAMES D PUSHES HIM AWAY SOLEMN HITS THE POST AND JAMES D PUSHES HIM OFF THE APRON!!

 

Solemn Guardian is eliminated by James D! (1)

 

Colin: James D maintains his place over Solemn Guardian but with as well as everyone is doing, he may have more work to do. And now we are moving to the Top 30! 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: And you can hear in this crowd the absolute love for the Thunder from Down Under. James does not agree with that assessment. 

 

Simon: You could not get two people more diametrically opposed. Ace blasts James with a giant running boot, James rolling back to his feet and a running neckbreaker! James loading back as Ace getting up, up on a knee and James D blasts him with D Stroyer!! Ace knocked UNDER the rope which as you know won't eliminate him. 

 

Colin: Ace can go anywhere he wants right now since he didn't go over the top...and he gets James by the head...oh he's pulling him over the edge...James draped over the top rope...Ace about to take a leap off the apron and is this going where I think it is... YES A NAME NEVER MORE FITTING THAN NOW ACE WITH A CAVE DIVING TAKE ON DOWN WITH THE SYSTEM AND JAMES D COMES DOWN WITH HIM!! 

 

James D is eliminated by Ace Anarchy! (1)

 

Simon: The crowd is revving up their energy again. Anarchy still is a long shot but damned if he's not gonna put up every bone of a fight on the way. Ace back in the ring. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: There was almost a world where these two would have been teammates. It would have been a very strange world. But you can see there's a strange respect between the two. 

 

Simon: That's not going to stop him from blasting Ace Anarchy out of the ring with a Scalpel Kick.

 

Ace Anarchy is eliminated by Damian Blackheart! (1)

 

Colin: No, but he'll give a cursory hat tip as Ace leaves, so that's something.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: I can't believe there was a world where Sprinkl was ranked higher than Damian Blackheart. 

 

Colin: He did have the leg up with the W2.

 

Simon: Still.

 

Colin: Well, I don't think Damian is taking too kindly to it either as he smashes Sprinkl repeatedly in the face with the knob of his cane, smashing his glasses into his face actually as he hadn't given Sprinkl a moment to remove them, grabs Sprinkl by his floaty and tosses him out of the ring. That's gonna change their relative ratings for sure.

 

Simon: A wrong righted. 

 

Sprinkl is eliminated by Damian Blackheart! (2)

 

Colin: Sprinkl's gonna have to have cake through a straw. 

 

Simon: I'm sure Dunkin' has that as a flavor.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: Okay, see, this ranking makes some sense. Hayes with a belly to belly to Damian. Damian gets to his feet quickly, goes for a Scalpel Kick, Tyler ducks and a sitout facebuster! 

 

Colin: Damian having to rethink his strategy a little and smashes a glass apothecary bottle on the head of Hayes! And elbows him right in the point of impact! 

 

Simon: Tyler's lucky no glass got stuck in him, but that cut does look a little rough. Tyler responds with a punch but it looks like it just grazed Damian. The next one connects much more stiffly though and Tyler stiff lariat sends Damian over the edge of the rope! He holds on though.

 

Colin: Damian rolls back into the ring, gets to the other side of Tyler but Tyler able to swing the lariat around with enough force to flip Damian. Damian up to his feet OH HE GETS THE SCALPEL KICK AND SENDS TYLER PACKING!!

 

Tyler Hayes is eliminated by Damian Blackheart! (3)

 

Simon: Hayes has given him the biggest fight so far, but Blackheart is wily and precise. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Neon Juan runs up and leaps into the ring DAMIAN CATCHES HIM MID AIR WITH THE SCALPEL KICK! It's being ruled that Neon Juan got enough over the rope for it to count as over the top, Neon hits the ground and his lights are out.

 

Neon Juan Guyverno is eliminated by Damian Blackheart! (4)

 

Simon: Damian barely showing signs of wear and tear as we hurtle towards the home stretch of this rumble. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: The middle part of SugarKoma is here and Damian whipped up a batch of Irish sending Sugar right back out of the ring. Okay then.

 

Sugar Cooki is eliminated by Damian Blackheart! (5)

 

Simon: I guess his medicine is Immediate Release.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Sharp is one of the shrewdest on the roster. A legitimate Psychiatrist with a penchant for social climbing, it wouldn't be surprising if she tried to use Damian's cache to her benefit.

 

Simon: She'a also a brutal fighter in the ring and she drops Damian with a Polish Hammer. Damian up quickly and giant back suplex dropping Sharp on her head. Rising to her feet and a low blow uppercut as she does so. 

 

Colin: Damian may for the first time really be in trouble as Sarah hits a gutwrench powerbomb. 

 

Simon: Damian can't be counted out though and he gets her in the legs with his cane! He goes for it again but she jumps the cane and enzuigiri!! She grabs his head and knee smash! Loading back and going for another knee smash but Damian catches the leg and gets her up...Spinebuster! 

 

Colin: It's not gonna be enough to keep her down and she gets him with a throat jab. Oof that looks like it smarts. But again, quick recovery, he gets her by the wrist, headlock and up she goes! PLAGUEBRINGER! 

 

Simon: She's really hurting now, holding her head...he goes to pick her up for the next move OOH SHE WAS HOLDING HER HEAD TO GET HER ZLI BRASS KNUCKS! UPPERCUT TO DAMIAN AND ROCKS HIM! She Irish Whips him into the rope but he just holds on as we get the countdown!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Tamara Rivers in with a spear on Sharp! Sharp finds herself on the ropes but holds on. Damian takes the opportunity and a giant cane shot across Sharp's face spins her around on the ropes but still, holding on.

 

Simon: It's almost as if Damian and Tamara are taking turns, Tamara throws her whole body weight into Sarah and for a moment it looks like she might go over but still holding on! Tamara boots DAMIAN! Looks like she's switching it up!

 

Colin: Damian also does not go over. No one going willingly or without a fight. That's for sure. And Sarah gets Tamara back with a mid boot, Damian follows it up with a back body drop and Tamara hits the apron headfirst but maintains her spot in this match.

 

Simon: Damian with a discus lariat on Sarah now! And Sarah gets disentangled from the ropes but stays in the match, she and Damian look at each other and stereo kicks to the midsection of Tamara. 

 

Colin: Tamara rocks Sarah with an Alabama Slam whoa turn around Damian drills her with an elbow!! And we're about to hit the countdown clock and this might the longest we've gone without an elimination!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: Blood Drawn takes a giant elbow to the face of Blackheart as Rivers headbutts Sharp. OH Blood Drawn spins around and lariat to Rivers! Sharp recovers before Blackheart does and snap powerslam!!

 

Simon: It's a much different match at the back half than at the front half Colin, and you can see it in the strategy. 

 

Colin: It makes sense...the front half of people knew that they had very little chance of longevity so it was take the risks and get as many falls as you can along the way. Now that the remainder of this is a little under the length of a standard Rumble, people are starting to see the possibility they could win this, so there's more defense, keep yourself in the match versus Leroy Jenkins style fighting happening.

 

Simon: Rivers with the Guerilla Press Lift and hurls Blood Drawn over the ropes, but he catches himself and keeps himself on the apron! Damian blasts Sarah Sharp with the Scalpel Kick and she goes over! She doesn't catch herself in time!!

 

Sarah Sharp is eliminated by Damian Blackheart! (6)

 

Colin: Tamara attempts to capitalize on Blackheart's back being turned but he ducks the lariat and Pele Kick! Waiting for Tamara to get to her feet... Scalpel kick lined up TAMARA CATCHES HIM AND POWERBOMBS HIM OUTTA HERE!

 

Damian Blackheart is eliminated by Tamara Rivers! (1)

 

Simon: Tamara turns around and right into an STO by Blood Drawn! Tamara Rivers getting to her foot HAMMERED RIGHT BACK DOWN BY BLOOD DRAWN. 

 

Colin: This is his brutality. 

 

Simon: Knee drop to her head, gets her up and Choke Tosses her over the ropes but she manages to hold on and roll back in OH and he greets the roll-in with a kick to the ribs. Pulls her up into a scoop slam and that's gonna take us to the countdown clock!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Kalpana took one of the biggest personality swerves, and most hypocritical I might add, of anyone in the fed. She started off saying "I don't need a gimmick, my innovative moves will speak for me" and now she's all in on Space and herself. 

 

Simon: Whether the charge has served her or not is unclear. Meanwhile Blood Drawn and Rivers not even registering her, as Blood Drawn hits Rivers with a gutwrench suplex. 

 

Colin: Kalpana will not be ignored though, scoops Tamara up...Moonsault Tombstone!! Nepal Bearer!! 

 

Simon: Looks like they're gonna take the alternating approach, Blood Drawn picks Rivers up and a Uranage Backbreaker! 

 

Colin: But no teaming lasts forever in a Rumble, Simon, Kalpana goes in for her turn and Blood Drawn spins her around, gut kick, and he gets her up in the Powerbomb Hold....we're goin' over to the rope, Kalpana takes to outer space, Blood Drawn crashes the rocket right down with the Bloodline Breaker Pop Up Powerbomb!!

 

Simon: She burned up on re-entry, Colin!

 

Kalpana is eliminated by Blood Drawn! (1)

 

Colin: Rivers runs up behind him and elbow to the back of his head! And a half-nelson suplex! She gets him up into the Headlocked Inverted Suplex...going Vertical....MODDY DHOO! 

 

Simon: He gets to his feet by way of the ropes, she runs to clothesline him and gets him but he barely moves as the countdown clock kicks in ushering in the Top 20!!

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Wonderwolf is one of the most well-loved fighters in this company, and his Burning Question line is still one of my favorite lines of the year. 

 

Simon: Tamara keeping her focus on Blood Drawn right now, with an Elevated Spinning Powerslam. Tamara lifts Blood Drawn up and Chokeslam Tosses his over the ropes!! 

 

Blood Drawn is eliminted by Tamara Rivers! (2)

 

Colin: WONDERWOLF FROM BEHIND AND DROPKICKS TAMARA OUT OF THE RING!

 

Tamara Rivers is eliminated by Wonderwolf! (1)

 

Simon: The crowd laps it up, and Wonderwolf takes the chance to Howl! 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Daniel has been choosing when to don or not don his mask, and I guess his respect for Wonderwolf caused him to decide now isn't the time for it. Whether that was the right call or not is the question and he eats a Fisherman DDT from Wonder that has you wondering. Daniel with a quick jab as he gets back to his feet, goes for another and Wonder blocks, returning a chop and hitting a snap Northern Lights Suplex. 

 

Simon: Wonderwolf in control and he gets Daniel up on his shoulders...Death Valley Driver over the ropes but Daniel able to quickly pivot from the impact on the apron and roll in. Wonderwolf ready for him from the middle rope with a diving headbutt! 

 

Colin: Daniel needs to get his footing here but Wonder keeping the pressure on with a jumping elbow. Wonder going for another DANIEL ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY! Deadlifting Wonderwolf up and a German Suplex! Finally some signs of life! Daniel with a pair of stomps and he knows what he has to do...thinking about the mask...still deciding against it but he gets Wonderwolf up by the throat...staring him down...staring him up I guess? 

 

Simon: Wonderwolf trying to kick away but Daniel is like a man calmly possessed, and CHOKESLAMS WONDERWOLF OUT OF THE RING! HE JUST GAVE WONDERWOLF A FINAL JUDGMENT!! 

 

Wonderwolf is eliminated by Daniel! (1)

 

Colin: See, now I WOULDN'T put the mask on because the Destroyer wouldn't be content to wait and may eliminate himself in desiring to do damage.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Who's ready for that Big Boise Energy! 

 

Simon: Well, Daniel's ready...greets the man with a Big Boot. Doesn't wipe the smile off Greg's face though. Greg to his feet, going for a Lariat, caught and Spinebuster by Daniel. 

 

Colin: Daniel's finally finding his flow, but Greg is gonna keep on plugging, up to his feet and a standing dropkick! Daniel staggers back a little but maintains footing, blasts Greg with a chop and another gigantic boot! Greg pushed back to the ropes but catches himself before he starts to tip.

 

Simon: You'd think this would break Greg's smile but he maintains it, and honestly, that's gotta be frustrating when your opponent doesn't show the pain you're givin' em. 

 

Colin: Daniel blasts Greg with a Double Axe Handle, but Greg maintains composure and gets a quick 1-2 rib punch in, release overhead belly-to-belly to send Daniel over the ropes, Daniel able to tuck his legs and avoid his foot touching! 

 

Simon: Daniel's long enough that he can extend his feet out and get the steps, and he's coming back in this one. Daniel on the apron, arm whips Greg over to join him, Greg hits the apron and rolls right back in. 

 

Colin: Daniel in and Greg with another belly to belly, Daniel rolls to his feet and right into delivering a boot knocking Greg off his feet but Greg able to plant himself before his body tips over too far. Greg's gotta get away from the ropes Simon and HE'S NOT GONNA DO SO IN TIME, DANIEL WITH ANOTHER BOOT AND GREG ARIAS IS OUT OF THIS ONE RIGHT BEFORE THE COUNTDOWN CLOCK COMES INTO PLAY!

 

Good Dude Greg Arias is eliminated by Daniel! (2)

 

Simon: It took him a little bit to find his groove, but now Daniel is running the table. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: The last member of SugarKoma and she's in and already chokeslammed right back out. That's been SugarKoma's night and they might as well have stayed home.

 

Synful Syndy Sweet is eliminated by Daniel! (3)

 

Colin: This is the dominant Daniel we've come to know and love. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: The man who just last week at International Incident achieved Redemption by recapturing the US Title from Sarah Sharp, JP Spears is here. 

 

Simon: Two time champion is Rarified Air in MAWL these days, and Spears may be in a good place to put some hurt on Daniel. 

 

Colin: In matches like this you'd often see Spears reaching right for the Hit Stick, but he's no dummy and he knows Daniel would make him pay for it. So we start instead with a powerful standing dropkick. Pulls Daniel in and Flapjacks him! 

 

Simon: Daniel again considering the mask, JP senses the hesitation and going for the Hit Stick and STILL Daniel catches him out with an Elevated DDT. 

 

Colin: A man who learns and then unlearns his lesson. You can't blame JP for seeing the opening though.

 

Simon: Sure can't, but now Daniel's got him by the throat and there's very few ways this goes, dangling JP over the edge JP GRABS HIS ARM, HE'S PUNCHING AT THE ARM AND A JUDO ARM FLIP!!! DANIEL IS ELIMINATED!!!! 

 

Daniel is eliminated by JP Spears! (1)

 

Colin: JP Spears acting on pure preservation instinct there and I think he's not fully aware of what just happened either! But he'd better get aware soon, the match isn't even close to done! 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: THE TWISTED ONE IS HERE!

 

Colin: Whatever happens, Kid Kross is guaranteed a spot at Fallout, but that hasn't caused him to coast and he comes in here at number 15. 

 

Simon: And Kross coming in hot with a Springboard Missile Dropkick that absolutely flattens JP Spears. The crowd cheers OH JP SPEARS WITH THE HIT STICK AND HE SENDS KROSS OVER THE ROPES!! THE KID IS KROSSED OUT!!

 

Twisted Kid Kross is eliminated by JP Spears! (2)

 

Colin: J! P! SPEARS!

 

Simon: Kross's feet barely hit the ground from that dropkick! Spears' speed is undeniable! 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

"In wrestling, there is only one Heartbreaker."

 

 

Simon: There's so much hate for this man you'd think he personally porked each of their moms then released a DVD titled "Now! That's What I Call Your Mom Volume 6" and left a copy under each of their seats Oprah style.

 

Colin: You don't know what he did before coming here. 

 

Simon: Well Spears isn't going to waste the time looking under anything, he's just going to blast SM with a Thesz Press and unload fists on him. 

 

Colin: SM monkey flips him off, then regular flips him off, and Spears gets him in the face with a Running Dropkick. Do you notice something about SM?

 

Simon: Yeah...he seems a little off. Gozu took the belt off him at International Incident last week so that doesn't totally surprise me. JP sees it too...HIT STICK! SM goes over the rope...OH BUT KEEPS HIMSELF ON THE APRON AND LOW BLOW KICK TO SPEARS! HE PULLS SPEARS OVER THE ROPE AND THEY BOTH GO OVER!

 

SM Heartbreaker (1) and JP Spears (3) eliminate each other!

 

Colin: SM couldn't even last a minute in this match! Very unlike him.

 

Simon: Like you said, Colin. He's off. Seems...haunted.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: And Manta Ray coming out to a hero's welcome and an empty ring.

 

Simon: The number of competitors remaining means it's impossible for anyone to beat Elijah's single elimination records.

 

The crowd cheers at this.

 

Colin: So all that remains is to win the match itself, which from this point on is hypothetically achievable for any of these competitors.

 

 

Simon: The two shake hands as if it's a new match which I guess it kinda is. Lock up and Dagger with the arm drag. Manta lands and springs immediately back up with a jumping spin kick, Dagger ducks and catches Manta with a Russian Leg Sweep but Manta doesn't stay down long and a drop toe hold to Dagger. 

 

Colin: Dagger lands with an oof but no breaks rolls back and Kangaroo kick, Manta landing backwards but coming back up and taking a run, leaps over Dagger's attempt at a Boot, Springboard and grabs the top rope, tilt-a-whirl headscissors and SENDS DAGGER OVER THE TOP ROPE AND THAT COULD BE IT NO HE LANDS ON ONE FOOT AND I THINK THIS IS THE FIRST MOMENT EITHER OF THEM HAS BROKEN THE STRIDE OF MOVEMENT SINCE THE HANDSHAKE! AND EVEN THAT'S FOR JUST A MOMENT AS DAGGER HOPS UP ONTO THE APRON AND CATCHES A RUNNING MANTA OUT WITH A MODIFIED CRANE KICK THAT CHANGES HIS TRAJECTORY MANTA OVER THE TOP DAGGER SWINGS INTO THE RING AND TIGER FEINT KICKS MANTA ONTO THE FLOOR!! 

 

Manta Ray is eliminated by Dangerous Johnny Dagger! (1)

 

Simon: What an absolute roller-coaster!! 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: Maki is out here by herself, I don't even know if the Birds or TM came today, but what Maki does have is her newly gained title and she uses said title to knock Dagger out of the ring!

 

Dangerous Johnny Dagger is eliminated by Maki! (1)

 

Colin: Of course she was going to cheat her way into a win.

 

Simon: No DQ, remember?

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Simon: ...Okay, yeah, that's...that's some bullshit.

 

Colin: Maki gives TM a kiss on the cheek...and he's just swooning...he faints over the top rope!

 

TM Ichiban is eliminated by Maki. (2)

 

Simon: It's just disrespectful. To these fans, to Balor Wolfe, just. Wow.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Maki blasts Imogen with the Title right from jump. She just doesn't even care. Imogen to her feet, gives Maki a taste of her own medicine with the brass knuckles! And she follows it up with an exploder suplex! Imogen ducks Maki's running knuckle blast and sends her out of the ring!

 

Maki is eliminated by Imogen! (1)

 

Simon: The thing about being a dirty player is you know how to get in the head of a dirty player, and Imogen outsmarted Maki plain and simple. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

 

Colin: We have now in the ring a battle that has been taking place consistently since January in many regards. Both competitors have grown and found different and full versions of themselves but they keep coming back down to staring each other down in the ring. They actually started as friends, until Imogen turned on Tragedeigh and Kalpana. But all three of those have found themselves in the darkest parts of themselves since. 

 

Simon: Imogen charges in. Tragedeigh ducks Imogen and pulls her hair back into a backbreaker. Grabs at her hair again and FACE SMASHES her with her Mask! 

 

Tragedeigh: Your beautiful face, the only redeeming quality in your pathetic existence, who are you without it? 

 

Colin: ANOTHER Rollicking headbutt! I think she's trying to bloody Imogen! Digging her claws into the open wound and Imogen is screaming! Grabs her in a sort of dragon sleeper...DIRECTOR'S CUT! 

 

Tragedeigh: Come on, Emma, let out that scared little Disney Princess under all your bluster. Let's see you pretty cry into a pillow. 

 

Colin: Tragedeigh smashes Imogen's face into her knee. And she's trying to get into her head, this is the most vicious I've ever seen her.

 

Tragedeigh: Or maybe the wistful weeping at the window!

 

Simon: Tragedeigh launches Imogen between the middle and bottom ropes! She's just standing on her head!

 

Colin: This is the most defenseless Imogen has been in some time. Tragedeigh isn't even making a move to take her over the top rope. She wants to break her. She may be getting her wish, Imogen is...laughing?

 

Simon: That's not the joyous lilting laugh of a Disney Princess, that's more a deep dark cackle.

 

Imogen: I'm not the one hiding behind a mask.

 

Colin: IMOGEN RISES UP WITH A LAUGH AND NOW I'M SCARED.

 

Simon: She's got Tragedeigh on her shoulders and Electric Chair Suplex!! Oh but Tragedeigh keeps her legs around Imogen's throat and she's got a scissor headlock in! IMOGEN PRIES HER LEGS OFF AND INVERTED ALABAMA SLAM! 

 

Colin: Tragedeigh kips up with a Kangaroo Kick!! We've still got 7 people left in this match to come in and these two are going at it like they're headliners! Imogen snap suplexes her over the ropes but she stays on the apron and runs Imogen's face into the turnbuckle as we get the countdown clock!! 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Simon: And here comes the dad to solve the scuffle, and this situation gives him a chance to do what he can't do with Jacen and Jaina...he donks the heads of Tragedeigh and Imogen together and he tosses them outta the match!

 

Tragedeigh and Imogen are eliminated by WildFire! (1/2)

 

Colin: It doesn't seem to solve much as the two continue to battle on their way out. But it's a great way for WildFire to start the last match of one of his best months to date.

 

Simon: That's right. He won the Monarch of the Mat. He was the first to beat Stitches in the Strings of Agony Match. The only thing that would have made it better would be a title but I see that coming for him by the year's end. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

The lights go out and ticking starts.

 

Colin: Oh dear God.

 

 

Colin: And Rade staring down WildFire, WildFire running back and blasts into Rade's Pelvis with a dropkick! RADE. IS. OUTTA. HERE.

 

Simon: WHAT JUST HAPPENED.

 

Colin: What just happened is WildFire DOES NOT GIVE A SHIT. THE MAN TRADED FEAR TO THE DEVIL FOR LOCKS THAT WON'T QUIT.

 

Simon: The crowd is MAD WITH ENERGY. HE JUST TOOK OUT THE MAN WHO WAS THE FAVORITE TO WIN THIS WHOLE THING.

 

Rade is eliminated by WildFire! (3)

 

Colin: WildFire could win this thing and that would just be the perfect cap to his month.

 

Simon: And we are at the door of the Top 5. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Luthor nails WildFire with an Eat Defeat! Picks his feet up and slingshot into the ring post! Running clothesline drives him into that corner! WildFire not deterred and Sliced Bread to Zora!

 

Simon: WildFire hits a Uranage to keep her down, Zora with the low blow and Electric Driver Suplex! WildFire with a basement forearm shot! Zora punches back, pulling WildFire's arm now and kicks to the head. 

 

Colin: These two seem perfectly balanced so far, WildFire gets her leg and twisting it around to an Ankle Lock, and just stomping at the back of the leg. WildFire takes her legs and launches her out of the ring! She rolls onto the apron, stands up and she eats the boom2 from WildFire! Down she goes as the countdown clock picks up!!

 

Zora Luthor is eliminated by WildFire! (4)

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!

 

I'm Coming!

 

 

Simon: Wild with a quick punch to JCM and DDT. JCM with a punch to Wild's jaw and taking him off the ropes, going for a back body drop WILDFIRE HOLDS ON AND HEADSCISSORS!! I THINK HE JUST TOOK JCM OUT OF THIS ONE!!

 

JCM Ace is eliminated by WildFire! (5)

 

Colin: It's both an unfortunate end to JCM's worst month and potentially a very strong end for WildFire's. 

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 

 

 

Colin: Gozu ends WildFire's hopes with a Sky High Chokeslam! 

 

WildFire is eliminated by Gozu! (1)

 

Simon: The freshly minted champion Gozu wasted no time, and now we have only 2 people left to contend for the victory.

 

10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1!