FEBRUARY 13, 2026
NORMANDY, FRANCE

STADE MICHEL D'ORNANO

 

 

A recap video to the song "What the Hell Just Happened" of Forbidden DOH starts. When we get to

 

WHAT - close up on SM's shocked face

THE - quick shot of Jackie the Ripper skipping

HELL - Ryans fighting

JUST - back to SM's face which we stay on as

HAAAAAAAAAAPPENED - slowmo of his face being blasted by the Destruction Knee, complete with spit flying

 

No clue but I like it - slowmo cut on Steve Thunder's face as it does the smile a la Flash the Sloth from Zootopia

 

Right in that silence before the synth kicks up

 

Announcer (VO): MAWL 4

 

Synth kicks in

 

Announcer (VO): Presents - THE HEART CONDITION KICKOFF SHOW!

 

 

"What the Hell Just Happened" continues to play in the background as fireworks go off.

 

 

Simon: WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME to the Kickoff Show here in Normandy, France. A beach known for battle, to say the very least, is now ready to explode again in what may not be a World-Defining event but it will certainly define MAWL for the foreseeable future I feel. I am your humble lead announcer Simon Apple, are you all ready for some damn CHAOS??

 

The crowd cheers intensely.

 

Simon: I would normally be joined by Lenny Cruz and Kendra Mavis, but they are actually preparing for a fight against each other. So tonight I am so excited to be sitting here with Valerie Thomas-

 

 

Valerie: WHAT'S UP FRANCE!

 

Simon: And our former announcer now staking their claim at commentary, Ash Greaves-Orleans!

 

 

Ash: Excited as always to be here!! I love doing both the color and the play by play, and learning that I'll be taking over when Simon goes to 404 Full-Time is just truly AMAZING and an honor.

 

Valerie: You're very lucky that Kendra isn't here to hear you say that.

 

Ash: Ah, I'm sure she'll get used to me. But let's talk about this card. This may be the Kickoff show but make no mistake, it's main event level talent. Taga Pabalita will be defending her Trios Belt later, and if Cinnaman can take her in the Candy Heart Pit, then he'll get to say "Be Mine" to a spot in that match. 

 

Simon: Nice. I see what you did there. 

 

Valerie: Ugh. Anyway. We've got Isabella, Jeannie, and Aja Lioness, three stars in their own right, in a Trios Tag match. We've got Luciano and Cellula in a Street Fight. Asuka and Mayu Iwatani, two absolute Goddesses in Japan, will be trying to get each other with a defibrillator later and yes I heard it too, and for you hometown hero lovers we've got Landmime and Le Lutteur, national treasures, in action.

 

Simon: And in fact, we're getting Le Lutteur in just moments. But before that, you can see two sides of the ringside are filling with Hearts so we're going big fast.

 

Ash: Sending it down to my darling wife, who's gonna call us in. Sheri?

 

 

Sheri: The following contest is a Candy Heart Pit Match!! The only way to win is to hold your opponent under the Candy Heart Pit for 10 seconds!

 

 

The lights take on two shades of brown in a swirl. Cinnaman pops out as two plumes of cinnamon dust shoot out.

 

 

The crowd erupts as Cinnaman marches down to the ring, pointing at fans on both sides of the aisle. He climbs through the ropes, snatches a microphone, and slowly adjusts his sunglasses while the cheers continue. Sheri finds it very difficult to talk over the crowd, and so holds the mic down and waits.

 

Cinnaman:

"OHHHHHH YEAHHHHH! Dig it! The Macho Holiday Warrior has arrived! The cinnamon is hot, the cookies are baked, the bells are ringing, and greatness is running wild through these festive veins! Everybody wants to talk about Cinnaman's next match, brother. Everybody wants to know if I'm ready. Everybody wants to know if I've prepared myself for the challenge ahead. Well let me tell ya something. I was handed the contract. I signed the contract. I accepted the fight. The wheels of destiny began turning and the madness rolled on!"

 

He nods confidently before pulling a folded sheet of paper from his jacket.

 

Cinnaman:

"Then somebody told me what kind of match it was. They said, 'Cinnaman, brother, you've been booked in a Candy Heart Pit Match.' A Candy Heart Pit Match! I heard the words. I understood every individual word. Candy. Heart. Pit. Match. But when they put them together? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! My brain rejected the information completely! Is it a pit? Is it candy? Is it both? Did somebody dig a giant Valentine's Day hole and decide that's professional wrestling now?"

 

The crowd laughs as Cinnaman shrugs dramatically.

 

Cinnaman:

"But here's the thing, brother. I don't care! The type of match has never mattered! Steel cage? Climb it. Street fight? Fight it. Last Man Standing? Stand up. Candy Heart Pit Match? Throw me in the hole and ring the bell! Somewhere my opponent thinks they've got an advantage. Somewhere they're studying candy heart strategy. Somewhere they're researching pit-based combat. Meanwhile Cinnaman slept eight hours, ate a complete breakfast, and showed up ready to win!"

 

He climbs onto the second turnbuckle and points into the crowd.

 

Cinnaman:

"Because the cream of the Christmas crop rises to the top! It always rises to the top! You can't stop it with steel! You can't stop it with concrete! And you sure as sugar-coated holiday cheer can't stop it with a pile of tiny chalk candies that taste like drywall! So bring the pit! Bring the candy! Bring the romance-themed disaster! When the dust settles, when the candy settles, when the madness settles, there will be one name standing tall above it all!"

 

He rips off the sunglasses and raises a fist.

 

Cinnaman:

"OHHHHHH YEAHHHH! CINNAMAN WINS AGAIN!"

 

Before Sheri can restart her introduction-

 

 

The drums kick in and Taga Pabalita takes her best Scott Hall strut out with a microphone.

 

 

Sheri starts to raise her mic but Taga dramatically brandishes a mic and Sheri, with a grimace, puts her microphone down again. 

 

Taga: NOOOOOORMANDY! 

 

They boo.

 

Taga: Go ahead. I know that MAWL, that DA Jones, is paying some of you to boo me. To make it seem like this crowd doesn't buy what El Verdad is selling. Like France isn't full of sm-

 

She stops herself with a chuckle.

 

Taga: Nevermind. Cinna, Cinna, Cinna. The hearts are meant to be a symbol. They're meant to represent your tag partner Sugar Cooki. How she's sweet... and how we left her in pieces. 

 

The crowd boos. Cinna grabs the ropes in anger. Taga continues to talk as she walks down the ramp.

 

Taga: BUT! We're approaching Valentine's Day, so I thought - El Verdad thought - we'd do something sweet for you. You see, we reserved the hospital bed next to Sugar Cooki's. Apparently you can do that if you pay the right doctor. Thanks, Marvy, for being our sugar daddy and allowing us to do such things. So! We reserved the hospital bed so that you can wake up next to your sweet thang on Valentine's Day after I absolutely break you. 

 

Taga steps through the ropes and Cinna begins throwing punches at her. The bell rings!

 

Ash: Sheri was so disrespected here. I'm sorry hon. 

 

Sheri shrugs as she exits the ring. 

 

Simon: So the goal here is essentially drown your opponent for 10 seconds in some of the nastiest holiday candy known to humankind. And if Cinna wins this he adds a team to the Trios Title Match in the main show.

 

Ash: And, he gets a manner of revenge for Sugar Cooki, who has not recovered from the attack at W2 two weeks back. I'm not sure who he'd bring to the dance if he makes it into the match. I don't believe Yuletide is here. 

 

Valerie: Well, he's gonna have to get through Taga first, and she's already choking him over a rope and pulling at his hair. It's a dangerous game she's playing. 

 

Simon: Cinna with a back elbow, another back elbow, and arm drag sending her towards the pit early, no she is able to stop herself on the apron and get her footing, Sunset Flip Powerbomb and she takes control back of the match. Grabbing at his legs, she pulls him towards the center of the ring, is she going for a submission NO a rollover and Alabama Slam! 

 

Valerie: Creative offense like that, it's criminal that these fans boo her.

 

Ash: It's her attitude that's the problem and Cinna with a backwards somersault, back to his feet and another armdrag sending Taga over the ropes, she catches herself on the apron again but this time Cinna's ready for her and enzuigiri knocks her down into the pit! Now it's not enough for her to be IN the pit, he has to hold her there, he climbs over the apron but Taga with a fistful o' Necco and she gut punches him! He doubles over, trying to maintain his grip on the ropes, she blows crumpled up Necco dust into his face! Grabs him off the apron and Muscle Buster!

 

Simon: Taga grabs his locks and holds him down!

 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE! F-

 

Simon: Cinna fights his way back up, back body drop to Taga! Taga grabs a handful of hearts in her hand, punch to Cinna's face! He punches her back, and he's got her backing up! The two exchanging blows wading in these candy hearts, this is truly some tainted love.

 

Valerie: She blows the dust right in his eyes! The ol' Mr. Fuji technique! Cinna holding his eyes in pain, Taga...pulls his tights? What's she... oh she's shoveling some of the hearts in like he's a mixed candy bag at the movies NUT PUNCH! SHE BREAKS THOSE HEARTS RIGHT INTO HIS PANTS!

 

Ash: He's gonna be digging Necco out of every crevice for weeks!

 

Simon: Taga's had dominance over much of this match now, she takes Cinna bending over as an opening, gets him up for a Powerbomb CINNA REVERSES INTO A HURACANRANA! DROPS HER RIGHT ON THE PIT AND SITS HIMSELF DOWN!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! F-

 

Valerie: My girl gets up, her cheeks look kinda puffy oh she's machine gun spitting the hearts at Cinna! NASTY but I'm for it! 

 

Ash: This match is so unhygienic. How do we know some of those didn't fall out of Cinna's trunks?

 

Simon: Cinna trying to dodge the rapid fire heart loogies to very limited success, changing tactics and punches Taga straight in the sternum! You can see in her eyes that she swallowed the last few and they didn't go down without a fight but Fisherman Suplex by Cinna!! Grabs her by the arms and hurls her back first into the barricade! She slides right down back into the pit and he goes to hold her down.

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THR-

 

Valerie: YES GIRL she got under him and fireman carry over the barricade right into the crowd!! Launches herself over the barricade and Spear into a series of Mounted Punches!! Cinna with a monkey flip sends her crashing into chairs, the crowd luckily is pretty responsive! Good job getting out of the way! TAGA PABALITA WITH A FULL CHARGE AND A ROCKET KICK SMASHES CINNAMAN INTO THE BARRICADE! IT'S STARTING TO MOVE A LITTLE OH SHE SPEARS HIM THROUGH BACK TO RINGSIDE!! 

 

Simon: She's dragging him...away from the hearts? And by the locks, again this is not by any means acceptable, face smash into the bare mat, under the ring and she's looking for...oh she has a table! Sorry if you were all saving that for Bingo... but Cinna is getting draped over it! Or at least his head is. What is she thinking??

 

Ash: Rolls herself back into the ring, taking a run.... SOMERSAULT PLANCHA FAME ASSER!!! CINNAMAN IS GETTING ABSOLUTELY WRECKED!!! She could drag him to either side of the Pit now and pretty much call it. Oh, she's not done yet. Going back under the ring, and now I think she's possibly testing her luck her a little bit. Pulls out... a heart shaped box? This isn't the time for a snack!

 

Valerie: The sound she makes when it's shaking tells me there's not exactly chocolate in there, that sounds like metal and girl I love you but you gotta stop showing off Cinna's gonna get to his feet.

 

Simon: It looks like that's what she's waiting for, Cinna would be better off staying down so of course he gets up, she charges, he gets her with the drop toe hold!!! She plants face first into her own weapon and that was an ugly noise made as she went down! He's not making the same mistake, he drags her over to the unused heart pit and drops her in face first. 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! F-

 

Ash: She's up! This one's not over yet! Spinebuster by Taga! Trying to hold him down-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FI-

 

Valerie: Once again monkey flip, now they're both down, what happens here? 

 

Simon: Count doesn't start until someone is clearly held down. If one of them can get their arm up and on the other, it would certainly go a long way in winning this match. 

 

Ash: Looks like they're both getting up, but it's clearly a struggle, holding onto the barricade, throwing wild fists, Cinna smashes her head into the barricade, Taga with a guillotine, Cinna running it back with a Sliced Bread, has her down in the drink-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! S-

 

Valerie: The woman won't quit! Cinna gets her in a headlock, looking for a bulldog, she reverses it and gets him into a back suplex position OH she drops him split over the barricade!

 

Simon: This is n-

 

Valerie: Don't.

 

Ash: Getting onto the barricade herself, quick run n gun and Shining Wizard!!!  Holy Moly! Cinna down into the hearts, Taga loading herself back, taking a run and a high jump, Shooting Star NO CINNA GETS THE KNEES UP AND THAT'S GONNA CUT HER COMEBACK SHORT! 

 

Simon: He pulls her head down, up and sits on her back! This is smart gameplay!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

FOUR! FIVE! SIX!

 

SEVEN! EIGHT! NI-

 

Valerie: SHE IS UP! SHE IS UP! And Inverted Powerslam takes him down! She could end it right... NO! She's getting another table! Table in the hearts and that isn't enough, clearly, she's grabbing that weighted heart box, setting it up almost like a bed, pulling Cinna on and giving him a nice bedtime setup, oh wait no, turning him around and setting up with the Curb Stomp, bending his mouth over the heart, she is taking way too long for this setup. 

 

Ash: More to the point, she is doing TOO MUCH. She has to defend her trios title later! Going to the top, taking a moment to flip off the audience and coming down for the Curb Stomp! OH CINNAMAN ROLLS!!!! FLAPJACKS TAGA PABALITA!!! SHE TAKES IT ALL!!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Simon: At this point just stay down.

 

Classic Jenny: FOUR! FIVE! SIX!

 

Valerie: She can do it!

 

Classic Jenny: SEVEN! EIGHT!

 

Ash: But should she.

 

Classic Jenny: NINE!

 

Valerie: That is the question...

 

Classic Jenny: TEN!

Cinnaman wins!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner, CINNAMAN!

 

Simon: Cinna pulls off a hard-earned win, but this just means that he'll be back later tonight. And he's got to find a squad to put together too. It's looking to just be what we in the industry call a "short rest."

 

Valerie: Nerd alert.

 

Simon: You joke but you can't hang. 

 

Ash: I appreciated it Simon. 

 

 

Sheri: The following TAG TEAM CONTEST is scheduled for ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

The lights go green with the entrance flashing spotlights in time with the trumpets, at which point Cory and Tara pop out and pose to cheers.

 

 

Sheri: FIRST! From Potato Creek, South Dakota.... the team of "The Flavor" Cory Anderson and "The Spice" Tara Gonzo... TASTE OF VICTORY. 

 

They come down with spotlights in rotating shades of green following them as they high-five the audience. 

 

Simon: The chefs-wrestlers, the multi-hyphenates, and it speaks to their drawing power that even here in France some people are going for them.

 

Valerie: I mean, Le Lutteur are a bit on the arrogant side, let's be real. 

 

The crowd boos Valerie. 

 

Valerie: Why are you booing me? I'm right.

 

 

A full choir comes out to herald Le Lutteur.

 

Renaud (6'4", 225 lbs) enters in a red, white, and blue singlet representing the French flag.

Marion (6'3", 230 lbs) wears a regal blue and gold singlet, honoring French royalty.

Together, they walk to the ring, posing in synchronized style to the hard cam before entering the ring.

 

 

Sheri: And their opponents, from Paris, France, at a combined weight of 455 pounds, Renaud Lavillenie, Marion Bartoli, LEEEEE LUTTEEEEEUR!!!

 

They walk down waving the French flag to a standing ovation.

 

They shake hands with Taste of Victory, then the bell rings!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Simon Apple: “There’s the bell, and this Condition Kickoff Show match is officially underway! Marion Bartoli starting for Le Lutteur, while Cory Anderson opens things up for Taste of Victory.”

 

Marion Bartoli and Cory Anderson cautiously step out of their respective corners. Bartoli keeps his stance low, hands extended and ready to grapple. Anderson stands more upright, using his broader frame to occupy the center of the ring.

 

On the apron, Renaud Lavillenie studies Anderson’s footwork. Across the ring, Tara Gonzo bounces eagerly in the corner, already calling for Anderson to bring Bartoli closer.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “This is going to be a fascinating clash of styles. Le Lutteur want to slow everything down, isolate a limb and control every movement. Taste of Victory are much more explosive. Cory Anderson brings the power, and Tara Gonzo can change the pace of a match almost instantly.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Which means Taste of Victory have no real identity. One of them wants to throw you through the canvas, the other wants to bounce off every available surface. Le Lutteur are specialists. They know exactly what they’re trying to accomplish.”

 

Simon Apple: “And for those wondering about the altered commentary team tonight, Lenny and Kendra are absent from the desk because they’re preparing to compete against one another. Ash Greaves-Orleans and Valerie Thomas joining me for this opening contest.”

 

Bartoli and Anderson lock up in the center of the ring.

 

Anderson immediately attempts to use his size, driving forward and forcing Bartoli back a step. Bartoli shifts his hips, rotates underneath Anderson’s arm and twists him into a standing wristlock.

 

Simon Apple: “Bartoli slips underneath and captures the wrist.”

 

Anderson tries to turn with the pressure, but Bartoli steps around him and converts the wristlock into a hammerlock. Anderson reaches behind him, attempting to grab Bartoli by the head.

 

Bartoli ducks beneath the reaching arm.

 

Anderson turns—

Bartoli catches him with a quick arm drag!

 

Anderson rolls through to one knee, but Bartoli maintains control of the arm. Anderson tries to pull away, only for Bartoli to step across his body and execute a sharp hip toss.

 

Anderson hits the canvas.

 

Bartoli follows him down immediately and wraps both arms around his head.

 

Simon Apple: “Hip toss into the side headlock! Marion Bartoli taking control in the opening seconds with that technical mastery.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “That’s exactly what Le Lutteur want. Marion Bartoli didn’t try to overpower Cory Anderson. He used Anderson’s forward momentum against him and immediately established control on the mat.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “And look at the positioning. Bartoli has his chest pressed against Anderson’s shoulder. Anderson can’t simply sit up and throw him off.”

 

Bartoli tightens the side headlock as Anderson plants one foot against the mat.

 

Anderson slowly works his way to one knee.

 

Bartoli shifts his weight, attempting to force him back down, but Anderson continues rising. The crowd begins clapping as Anderson gets both feet underneath him.

 

Simon Apple: “Anderson fighting back to a vertical base.”

 

Anderson wraps both arms around Bartoli’s waist and briefly lifts him from the canvas.

 

Bartoli keeps the headlock secured, forcing Anderson to put him back down.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Marion Bartoli refusing to release the hold, but Cory Anderson is carrying a significant power advantage.”

Anderson braces himself and drives Bartoli backward toward the ropes.

 

Bartoli’s back touches the cables.

 

The referee steps between them.

 

 

Referee: “Break the hold! One! Two!”

 

Bartoli releases before the referee reaches three, raising both hands to demonstrate the clean break.

 

Anderson does not give him room to reset.

 

He plants both hands against Bartoli’s chest and shoves him across the ring.

 

Simon Apple: “Anderson sends Bartoli into the ropes—very close to the Le Lutteur corner!”

 

As Bartoli reaches the ropes, Renaud Lavillenie quickly extends his hand and slaps Bartoli between the shoulder blades.

 

Simon Apple: “Blind tag by Renaud Lavillenie! I don’t believe Cory Anderson saw it!”

 

Bartoli rebounds toward Anderson.

 

Anderson drops flat against the canvas.

 

Bartoli hops over him and continues running.

 

Simon Apple: “Anderson drops down!”

 

Anderson springs back to his feet as Bartoli rebounds from the opposite side.

 

Anderson leaps high into the air.

 

Bartoli ducks beneath the leapfrog and continues toward the ropes.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Beautiful athleticism from Cory Anderson!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “And absolutely no awareness.”

 

Anderson lands with his back turned toward the Le Lutteur corner.

 

Renaud Lavillenie slips through the ropes behind him.

 

Anderson watches Bartoli approach and prepares for another leapfrog—

Lavillenie charges from behind and blasts Anderson across the shoulders with a clothesline!

 

Anderson flips forward and crashes onto his back.

 

Simon Apple: “Clothesline from behind! Renaud Lavillenie was the legal competitor, and Cory Anderson never saw him enter the ring!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Perfectly legal, but Taste of Victory were caught completely unaware.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “That’s the difference between entertaining the crowd and paying attention to the match. Cory Anderson was watching the wrong man.”

 

Bartoli exits through the ropes as the referee confirms Lavillenie’s tag.

 

Lavillenie grabs Anderson by the wrist and pulls him upright. Anderson swings a wild right hand, but Lavillenie ducks underneath it and moves behind him.

 

Lavillenie hooks Anderson around the waist.

 

Anderson plants his feet and tries to block the lift.

 

Lavillenie delivers a short knee to the back of Anderson’s thigh, weakening his base. He then hooks one of Anderson’s arms and lifts him backward with a side suplex.

 

Anderson lands heavily across his shoulders.

 

Lavillenie floats directly into the cover.

 

Simon Apple: “Side suplex from Lavillenie! First cover of the match!”

 

The referee drops beside them.

 

Referee: “One! Two—”

 

Anderson throws his shoulder off the mat.

 

Simon Apple: “Kickout at two!”

 

Lavillenie does not argue the count. He immediately captures Anderson’s left wrist and presses his forearm across the elbow joint.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “That is another important difference between these teams. Taste of Victory want to build momentum through impact. Le Lutteur want every exchange to lead directly into the next hold.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Exactly. Renaud Lavillenie didn’t waste time staring at the referee or playing to the audience. He kicked Anderson down, covered him and went straight back to the arm.”

 

Lavillenie drags Anderson away from the Taste of Victory corner.

 

Anderson reaches toward Tara Gonzo, but several feet still separate them.

 

Lavillenie pulls Anderson upright and steps behind him, setting up another side suplex.

 

Simon Apple: “Lavillenie looking for a second one!”

 

Lavillenie attempts to lift—

Anderson hooks his leg around Lavillenie’s ankle and blocks it.

 

Lavillenie tries again.

 

Anderson drives an elbow backward into Lavillenie’s ribs.

 

Lavillenie’s grip loosens.

 

Anderson throws another elbow into the side of Lavillenie’s head and breaks free.

 

Simon Apple: “Anderson counters! Two elbows create the separation!”

 

Lavillenie reaches for Anderson’s waist again, but Anderson turns and drives his shoulder into Lavillenie’s chest.

 

Anderson forces Lavillenie backward several steps before releasing him.

 

Lavillenie attempts a short clothesline.

 

Anderson ducks underneath and continues running toward his corner.

 

Simon Apple: “Anderson has an opening!”

 

Tara Gonzo extends her hand over the top rope.

 

Anderson dives forward and slaps it.

 

Simon Apple: “Tag made! Here comes Tara Gonzo!”

 

Gonzo springboards over the top rope as Lavillenie turns around.

 

She catches him with a crossbody!

Lavillenie crashes onto his back, but Gonzo rolls through without attempting a cover.

She returns to her feet as Lavillenie rises.

 

Gonzo strikes him with a low kick to the outside of the thigh, follows with a forearm to the chest and snaps him over with an arm drag.

 

Simon Apple: “Crossbody, kick, forearm and an arm drag! Tara Gonzo immediately increasing the pace!”

 

Lavillenie rolls toward the ropes.

 

Gonzo races after him and strikes him with a running dropkick before he can regain his footing.

 

Lavillenie falls backward through the ropes and lands seated against the bottom strand.

 

The referee directs Gonzo away.

 

Referee: “Back up! Give him space!”

 

Gonzo retreats toward the center of the ring, but only briefly.

 

Lavillenie pulls himself upright with the ropes.

 

Gonzo charges again.

 

Lavillenie attempts to catch her, but Gonzo slides between his legs and springs back to her feet behind him.

 

Lavillenie turns around—

Gonzo jumps and sends him across the ring with a hurricanrana!

 

Simon Apple: “Hurricanrana by Tara Gonzo! That’s five different attacks in rapid succession!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “This is where Taste of Victory become so difficult to prepare for. Cory Anderson brought power and physical resistance. Tara Gonzo enters, and suddenly Renaud Lavillenie has to deal with movement coming from every direction.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “She has movement. Let’s see whether she has control.”

 

Lavillenie slides toward his corner, but Gonzo grabs him by the ankle and drags him back toward the center of the ring.

 

Lavillenie rolls onto his back and kicks at her with his free leg.

 

Gonzo jumps over the kick and lands beside him.

 

Lavillenie tries to stand.

 

Gonzo runs toward the ropes, rebounds and catches him with a spinning leg sweep.

 

Lavillenie drops face-first against the canvas.

 

Simon Apple: “Gonzo takes the leg out from underneath Lavillenie!”

 

Gonzo drops across his back for the cover.

 

The referee slides into position.

 

Referee: “One!”

 

Lavillenie kicks out immediately.

 

Gonzo rolls to one knee and smiles toward Anderson. Anderson applauds her from the apron, encouraging her to keep the pressure on.

 

Lavillenie crawls toward the ropes.

 

Gonzo moves behind him and grabs a handful of his hair.

 

The referee immediately steps in.

 

Referee: “Let go of the hair!”

 

Gonzo yanks Lavillenie backward and drives him down against the mat.

 

Anderson’s applause stops.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Wait a moment. Tara Gonzo did not need to do that.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Of course she did. Lavillenie was reaching the ropes.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “That doesn’t make it legal.”

 

Gonzo keeps hold of Lavillenie’s hair as she pulls him to his knees.

 

The referee begins counting.

 

Referee: “One! Two! Three!”

 

Gonzo releases at three and raises her hands innocently.

 

She glances toward Anderson, but Anderson is staring at her with a puzzled expression.

 

Simon Apple: “Cory Anderson seems confused by the sudden change in attitude from his partner.”

 

Gonzo turns back toward Lavillenie and drives the sole of her boot against his face.

 

She pushes him backward until his throat rests across the middle rope.

 

Gonzo presses her knee between his shoulder blades and forces his upper body against the cable.

 

The referee steps beside her.

 

Referee: “Get off the ropes! One! Two! Three! Four!”

 

Gonzo steps away just before five.

 

Lavillenie rolls away from the ropes, coughing as he clutches his throat.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “That is not how Tara Gonzo normally competes.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Maybe she finally understands that being pleasant doesn’t win matches.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “There is a difference between aggression and deliberately ignoring the rules.”

 

Gonzo backs toward the Taste of Victory corner and extends her hand toward Anderson.

 

Anderson looks at her hand, then looks at Lavillenie.

 

He does not make the tag.

 

Simon Apple: “Tara Gonzo is asking Cory Anderson to come back into the match, but Anderson isn’t taking it!”

 

Gonzo gestures more insistently.

 

Anderson shakes his head and asks her what she is doing.

 

Cory Anderson: “What was that? You didn’t need to do that!”

 

Gonzo points toward Lavillenie and tells Anderson that she has everything under control.

 

Anderson remains on the apron but refuses to tag.

 

Valerie Thomas: “Unbelievable. Cory Anderson is refusing to help his own partner because she showed a little initiative.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “He is trying to stop Tara Gonzo from losing control of herself.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “He is leaving her alone in the ring.”

 

Gonzo turns away from Anderson and marches toward Lavillenie.

 

Lavillenie is on one knee, still holding his throat.

 

Gonzo grabs him by the head and tries to pull him upright.

 

Lavillenie suddenly catches her wrist.

 

Gonzo attempts to pull away.

 

Lavillenie rotates underneath her arm and twists it into a wristlock.

 

Gonzo spins in the direction of the pressure and tries to break the grip, but Lavillenie ducks beneath her attempted elbow.

 

He moves behind her and wraps both arms around her waist.

 

Simon Apple: “Lavillenie catches Gonzo from behind!”

 

Gonzo reaches toward Anderson, but Anderson is still arguing with her from the apron.

 

Lavillenie tightens his grip and launches Gonzo backward with a German suplex!

 

Gonzo lands high across her shoulders and folds against the canvas.

 

Simon Apple: “German suplex! Tara Gonzo’s moment of hesitation cost her!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “She took her attention away from Renaud Lavillenie, and that is the last thing you can afford to do against Le Lutteur.”

 

Lavillenie maintains the waistlock for a moment, but instead of attempting another suplex, he releases Gonzo and grabs her left arm.

 

Gonzo tries to crawl toward Anderson.

 

Lavillenie pulls her in the opposite direction and drags her toward the Le Lutteur corner.

 

Marion Bartoli extends his hand.

 

Lavillenie slaps it.

 

Simon Apple: “Tag made. Marion Bartoli is legal once again.”

 

Bartoli enters through the ropes as Lavillenie keeps control of Gonzo’s wrist.

 

The referee begins the five-count for the departing competitor.

 

Referee: “One! Two!”

 

Lavillenie twists Gonzo’s arm outward.

 

Bartoli drives a measured kick into the back of Gonzo’s upper arm.

 

Gonzo recoils, but Lavillenie does not release her.

 

Bartoli steps behind Gonzo, hooks her around the waist and lifts her from the mat.

 

Lavillenie pulls down on the trapped arm as Bartoli drives Gonzo onto her back with a controlled side slam.

 

Simon Apple: “Double-team attack from Le Lutteur! Lavillenie held the arm in place while Bartoli drove Gonzo into the canvas!”

 

Referee: “Three! Four!”

 

Lavillenie releases the wrist and exits to the apron before the count reaches five.

 

Bartoli remains on his knees beside Gonzo.

 

He captures the same arm Lavillenie had been targeting and pulls it tightly across his chest.

 

Gonzo immediately clasps her hands together to prevent the extension.

 

Bartoli places one boot against her ribs and pries her hands apart.

 

Simon Apple: “Bartoli going directly after that arm!”

 

Gonzo attempts to roll toward her stomach.

 

Bartoli follows the movement, steps over her shoulder and forces her flat against the canvas.

 

He traps her wrist between his forearms and leans backward.

 

Gonzo cries out as her arm straightens.

 

Simon Apple: “Armbar applied! Marion Bartoli has Tara Gonzo trapped in the center of the ring!”

 

The referee drops beside Gonzo and watches closely for a submission.

 

Referee: “Do you give up?”

 

Gonzo shakes her head and reaches toward the ropes with her free arm.

 

She is several feet away.

 

Anderson leans through the ropes, calling for her to stay calm and work her way toward the corner.

 

Bartoli keeps his body close to the mat, preventing Gonzo from rolling underneath the pressure.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “This is the contrast between these teams on full display. Tara Gonzo brought speed and unpredictability, but one mistake allowed Le Lutteur to slow her down and immediately begin isolating a limb.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “And Cory Anderson’s moral outrage left his partner stranded. Taste of Victory had control, and Anderson refused a perfectly legal tag because his feelings were hurt.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “There was nothing legal about using the hair or choking Lavillenie against the ropes.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “The referee counted. Tara Gonzo released. That is how professional wrestling works.”

 

Simon Apple: “Whatever caused that sudden aggression from Tara Gonzo, Taste of Victory now find themselves in serious trouble. Marion Bartoli has that arm fully extended, Renaud Lavillenie is waiting in the corner, and Cory Anderson can only watch from the apron!”

 

Bartoli adjusts his grip and pulls Gonzo’s wrist closer to his chest.

 

Gonzo presses her boots against the canvas, attempting to drag both herself and Bartoli toward the ropes.

 

Bartoli remains composed, tightening the armbar as the referee continues asking Gonzo whether she wants to submit.

 

Simon Apple: “Tara Gonzo refusing to surrender, but Marion Bartoli is firmly in control as this match continues!”

 

Marion Bartoli keeps the armbar cinched in, pulling Tara Gonzo’s wrist tight against his chest while using his legs to control her shoulder.

 

Gonzo kicks against the canvas and tries to turn toward the ropes, but Bartoli follows every movement and prevents her from creating enough space to roll free.

 

Simon Apple: “Marion Bartoli continues to apply pressure to that left arm. Tara Gonzo has been trapped in this hold for an extended period, and Bartoli has her almost directly in the center of the ring.”

 

The referee stays close to Gonzo.

 

Referee: “Do you submit?”

 

Gonzo shakes her head.

 

Cory Anderson stretches as far as he can over the top rope, calling for Gonzo to remain calm.

 

Cory Anderson: “Work toward me, Tara! Don’t panic!”

 

Bartoli leans farther back.

 

Gonzo cries out and reaches toward Anderson, but the distance between them remains substantial.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “This is Marion Bartoli’s specialty. He isn’t merely holding the arm. He is controlling Tara’s shoulder and preventing her from turning her body toward the pressure.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “And Tara Gonzo has already shown us that she is willing to do whatever is necessary. Maybe Cory Anderson should stop shouting instructions and let her handle the situation.”

 

Simon Apple: “As Bartoli continues to control Gonzo, remember that we still have this match coming up later tonight on the Condition main card—”

 

 

Gonzo plants both boots against the canvas and bridges her hips.

 

Bartoli adjusts his position to stop her from rolling underneath him.

 

Gonzo reaches across with her free hand.

 

She presses her palm against Bartoli’s face—

Then drags her fingers across his eyes!

 

Bartoli immediately releases the armbar and rolls away, covering his face.

 

Simon Apple: “Eye rake! Tara Gonzo raked the eyes to escape the armbar!”

 

The referee rises and points directly at Gonzo.

 

Referee: “Watch the eyes! That is your only warning!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Again, Tara Gonzo takes an illegal shortcut!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “She escaped, didn’t she? Marion Bartoli was not going to release that hold because she asked politely.”

 

Gonzo clutches her injured arm and crawls toward the Taste of Victory corner.

 

Anderson looks down at her, still visibly unhappy with how his partner has been conducting herself.

 

Gonzo reaches up and slaps Anderson’s hand.

 

The referee signals the tag.

 

Simon Apple: “Tag made. Cory Anderson is legal, although Anderson does not look particularly pleased about taking it.”

 

Anderson enters through the ropes without acknowledging Gonzo.

 

Bartoli is still rubbing his eyes as he returns to his feet.

 

Anderson closes the distance with a right hand to the body.

 

He follows with a forearm across the chest and scoops Bartoli from the mat—

Powerslam!

 

Simon Apple: “Body shot, forearm and a powerslam! Cory Anderson immediately bringing that power back into the match!”

 

Bartoli rolls onto his side and attempts to rise.

 

Anderson catches him with a back elbow to the jaw.

 

A knee drives into Bartoli’s abdomen.

 

Anderson hooks him around the waist and launches him overhead with a belly-to-belly suplex!

 

Bartoli skids across the canvas.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “That is the other side of Taste of Victory. Tara Gonzo attacks through speed and movement. Cory Anderson only needs to get his hands on you once to change the entire complexion of the match.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Provided he can concentrate on wrestling instead of judging his partner.”

 

Bartoli pulls himself up using the ropes.

 

Anderson charges and strikes him with a shoulder tackle.

 

Bartoli rebounds against the ropes and stumbles forward.

 

Anderson catches him with a short-arm clothesline before lifting him into a scoop slam!

 

Bartoli hits the mat and rolls toward the edge of the ring.

 

Simon Apple: “Three combinations in succession from Cory Anderson! Bartoli is being overwhelmed by the difference in power!”

 

Anderson grabs Bartoli by the wrist and pulls him upright.

 

He sends Bartoli across the ring with an Irish whip.

 

Bartoli reaches the ropes beside the Le Lutteur corner.

 

Renaud Lavillenie reaches over the top rope and slaps Bartoli’s back.

 

Anderson immediately points toward the corner.

 

Simon Apple: “Another blind tag by Renaud Lavillenie—but this time Anderson saw it!”

 

Anderson stops following Bartoli and turns his full attention toward Lavillenie.

 

Lavillenie steps through the ropes.

 

Anderson moves toward him, inviting the newly legal competitor to enter.

 

Cory Anderson: “I saw that one!”

 

Lavillenie raises his hands and cautiously approaches.

 

Behind Anderson, Bartoli rebounds from the opposite ropes.

 

Anderson continues watching Lavillenie—

Bartoli charges from behind and drives a clothesline across Anderson’s shoulders!

 

Anderson crashes face-first against the canvas.

 

Simon Apple: “But Anderson forgot about Marion Bartoli! Bartoli clotheslines him from behind during the legal five-count!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Cory Anderson identified the tag, but Le Lutteur still found a way to use it against him.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “That is because Le Lutteur think as a team. Anderson was so proud of himself for seeing the tag that he stopped watching the man already in the ring.”

 

The referee begins counting Bartoli out.

 

Referee: “One! Two!”

 

Bartoli pulls Anderson upright and holds him in place.

 

Bartoli drives a knee into Anderson’s ribs.

 

Lavillenie follows with a European uppercut.

 

Le Lutteur each capture an arm and send Anderson overhead with a double hip toss!

 

Anderson lands hard in the center of the ring.

 

Simon Apple: “First tandem combination from Le Lutteur! Knee, uppercut and the double hip toss!”

 

Referee: “Three! Four!”

 

Bartoli exits through the ropes before the referee reaches five.

 

Lavillenie grabs Anderson by the ankle and drags him away from the Taste of Victory corner.

 

Anderson turns onto his stomach and tries to push himself upright, but Lavillenie keeps control of the leg.

 

Lavillenie pulls Anderson toward the Le Lutteur corner and tags Bartoli.

 

Simon Apple: “Another tag by Le Lutteur. Marion Bartoli is legal.”

 

Bartoli steps through the ropes as Lavillenie brings Anderson to his feet.

 

Lavillenie kicks Anderson in the thigh.

 

Bartoli follows with a forearm to the chest.

 

They each hook one of Anderson’s arms and take him over with a double snap suplex!

 

Anderson lands flat on his back.

 

Simon Apple: “Second combination! Le Lutteur are constantly changing the legal competitor and denying Anderson an opportunity to recover!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Every exchange is carefully constructed. One attacks the base, the other attacks the upper body, and then they combine their leverage for the takedown.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Taste of Victory are improvising. Le Lutteur are executing.”

 

Lavillenie exits as Bartoli maintains control.

 

Bartoli pulls Anderson to his knees and drives a forearm across the back of his neck.

 

Anderson attempts to swing from the kneeling position, but Bartoli steps out of range.

 

Bartoli drags Anderson toward the corner and tags Lavillenie.

 

Simon Apple: “Another quick tag. Renaud Lavillenie is legal once again.”

 

Lavillenie enters as Bartoli holds Anderson upright.

 

Bartoli drives a knee into Anderson’s abdomen.

 

Lavillenie strikes Anderson between the shoulder blades with a downward elbow.

 

Le Lutteur stand on opposite sides of Anderson, hook him around the head and arm and drive him backward with a tandem Russian leg sweep!

 

Anderson’s shoulders and upper back hit the canvas.

 

Simon Apple: “Third tag-team combination from Le Lutteur! They have completely isolated Cory Anderson!”

 

The referee orders Bartoli out of the ring.

 

Referee: “One! Two! Three!”

 

Bartoli releases Anderson and returns to the apron.

 

Lavillenie rolls Anderson onto his side and wraps an arm around his head.

 

He drops his weight against Anderson’s shoulders and locks in a grounded side headlock.

 

Simon Apple: “And Lavillenie slows the pace once again with the headlock.”

 

Anderson pushes against Lavillenie’s forearm, but Lavillenie keeps his hands locked and shifts his hips away from the Taste of Victory corner.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “That sequence perfectly demonstrates the Le Lutteur strategy. They used three quick combinations to exhaust Anderson, and now Lavillenie is forcing him to carry additional weight while controlling the head.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Taste of Victory rely on bursts of offense. Le Lutteur understand that a match is won through sustained control.”

 

Simon Apple: “And still to come later on the Condition main card—”

 

 

Lavillenie tightens the headlock.

 

Anderson plants one hand against the mat.

 

The crowd begins clapping as Anderson forces himself onto one knee.

 

Lavillenie shifts his weight onto Anderson’s upper back, but Anderson continues rising.

 

Simon Apple: “Anderson beginning to fight his way back up!”

 

Anderson reaches a standing position and drives an elbow into Lavillenie’s ribs.

 

Lavillenie keeps the headlock secured.

 

Anderson delivers a second elbow.

 

Lavillenie’s grip loosens.

 

Anderson drives a third elbow into the abdomen and finally breaks free.

 

Lavillenie attempts to grab him again, but Anderson catches him by the wrist and sends him toward the ropes with an Irish whip.

 

Simon Apple: “Anderson creates the separation and sends Lavillenie toward the ropes!”

 

Lavillenie approaches the side of the ring where Tara Gonzo is standing.

 

Gonzo reaches down and pulls the top rope toward the floor.

 

Lavillenie hits the lowered rope at full speed and tumbles over it!

 

He crashes onto the floor beside the ring.

 

Simon Apple: “Tara Gonzo pulled down the top rope! Renaud Lavillenie sent all the way to the floor!”

 

The referee points at Gonzo from inside the ring.

 

Referee: “Do not touch the ropes again!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “That was completely unnecessary! Cory Anderson had already escaped the headlock.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Unnecessary? Lavillenie was running directly toward her. Tara Gonzo protected herself.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “He was running because Anderson sent him into the ropes!”

 

Anderson looks over the ropes at Lavillenie before turning toward Gonzo.

 

He walks directly to the Taste of Victory corner.

 

Cory Anderson: “What the hell is wrong with you tonight?”

 

Gonzo stares at Anderson for a moment.

 

Anderson continues questioning her.

 

Cory Anderson: “The hair, the eyes, now the rope? What are you doing?”

 

Gonzo reaches over the top rope and slaps Anderson on the shoulder.

 

The referee immediately signals the tag.

 

Simon Apple: “Gonzo just tagged herself into the match!”

 

Anderson turns toward her in disbelief.

 

Gonzo drops down from the apron before Anderson can respond.

 

The referee begins counting Lavillenie out.

 

Referee: “One!”

 

Gonzo moves around the corner of the ring as Lavillenie uses the apron to pull himself upright.

 

She sprints toward him and launches herself into a diving crossbody!

 

Lavillenie’s back is driven into the side of the ring.

 

Simon Apple: “Gonzo dives into Lavillenie and drives him back-first into the edge of the ring!”

 

Referee: “Two! Three!”

 

Gonzo rises and grabs Lavillenie by the head.

 

She rolls him underneath the bottom rope.

 

Referee: “Four!”

 

Gonzo slides back into the ring and immediately returns to the attack.

 

Lavillenie reaches one knee.

 

Gonzo kicks him in the thigh, strikes him with a palm to the jaw and takes him over with an arm drag!

 

Lavillenie rolls through and tries to regain his footing.

 

Gonzo catches him with a forearm to the chest.

 

She follows with a spinning back kick to the abdomen and sends him into the corner with a monkey flip!

 

Lavillenie’s back strikes the turnbuckles before he drops to the mat.

 

Simon Apple: “Tara Gonzo has immediately restored that frantic pace!”

 

Lavillenie uses the ropes to pull himself upright.

 

Gonzo charges into the corner and drives a knee into his abdomen.

 

She follows with a back elbow to the side of his head and pulls him out of the corner with a snap suplex!

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “This is where Tara Gonzo is most effective. She is chaining her attacks together and preventing Lavillenie from resetting his stance.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “She is proving that Cory Anderson should have stopped questioning her and started trusting her.”

 

Lavillenie attempts to sit up.

 

Gonzo strikes him with a low dropkick to the knee.

 

Lavillenie drops back onto one leg.

 

Gonzo connects with an enzuigiri to the side of the head and catches him on the way down with a swinging neckbreaker!

 

Lavillenie lands in the center of the ring.

 

Simon Apple: “Four combinations from Tara Gonzo! This could be enough!”

 

Gonzo throws herself across Lavillenie’s chest and hooks the far leg.

 

The referee drops beside them.

 

Referee: “One!”

 

Gonzo extends her legs toward the ropes.

 

She places both boots across the middle rope for additional leverage.

 

Referee: “Two!”

 

Anderson sees Gonzo’s feet resting on the cable.

 

He reaches through the ropes and pushes both of her boots off.

 

Without the additional leverage, Lavillenie forces one shoulder from the canvas.

 

Simon Apple: “Lavillenie kicks out—and Cory Anderson pushed Tara Gonzo’s feet off the ropes!”

 

Gonzo releases the cover and spins toward her corner.

 

Tara Gonzo: “What are you doing?!”

 

Anderson points toward the ropes.

 

Cory Anderson: “You don’t need to cheat!”

 

Gonzo rises and marches toward Anderson.

 

The referee steps between them, reminding Gonzo that Lavillenie remains legal behind her.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Cory Anderson may have just prevented his own team from winning, but he refused to let Tara Gonzo steal the match.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “He absolutely prevented his own team from winning! Lavillenie was not escaping that cover!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Her feet were on the ropes!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “And the referee didn’t see it!”

 

Gonzo points toward Lavillenie and then back toward Anderson.

 

Tara Gonzo: “I had him!”

 

Cory Anderson: “Not like that!”

 

Gonzo waves dismissively at Anderson.

 

She turns away from him and walks back toward the center of the ring.

 

Simon Apple: “Tara Gonzo blowing off her partner’s concerns—”

 

Lavillenie suddenly rises behind her.

 

He ducks underneath Gonzo’s arm, hooks her around the waist and launches her overhead with a release overhead suplex!

 

Gonzo crashes onto her back.

 

Lavillenie drops to the canvas immediately afterward, still feeling the effects of Gonzo’s earlier offense.

 

Simon Apple: “Overhead suplex by Lavillenie! Tara Gonzo took her attention away from the match, and Le Lutteur made her pay again!”

 

Both competitors remain down.

 

Lavillenie rolls onto his side, clutching the back of his neck.

 

Gonzo stares toward the lights, one hand pressed against her lower back.

 

The referee stands between them and begins the count.

 

Referee: “One! Two!”

 

Anderson grips the tag rope and calls for Gonzo to crawl toward him.

 

On the opposite apron, Bartoli extends his arm toward Lavillenie.

 

Referee: “Three!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Both teams desperately need a tag, but the problems within Taste of Victory are becoming impossible to ignore.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “The only problem is Cory Anderson. Tara Gonzo had Lavillenie beaten, and Anderson chose Le Lutteur’s well-being over his own team.”

 

Simon Apple: “Both Tara Gonzo and Renaud Lavillenie are down—and still to come on the Condition main card—”

 

 

Referee: “Four!”

 

Both Tara Gonzo and Renaud Lavillenie remain down as the referee continues counting.

 

Marion Bartoli leans over the top rope with his hand extended. Across the ring, Cory Anderson reaches toward Gonzo, urgently calling for the tag.

 

Referee: “Five!”

 

Lavillenie turns onto his stomach and begins dragging himself toward the Le Lutteur corner.

 

Gonzo rolls onto her side and reaches toward Anderson.

 

Simon Apple: “Both competitors beginning to move! Their partners are waiting, and this crowd knows what could happen if either one makes the tag!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Tara Gonzo and Renaud Lavillenie have taken tremendous punishment. This could come down to who reaches the corner first.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “And whichever partner enters had better capitalize immediately.”

 

Lavillenie lunges forward—

Bartoli reaches down and slaps his hand!

 

At almost the same moment, Gonzo dives into her corner and tags Anderson!

 

The referee signals both changes.

 

Simon Apple: “Tags on both sides! Marion Bartoli and Cory Anderson are legal!”

 

Bartoli steps between the ropes.

 

Anderson charges into the ring at full speed.

 

Bartoli prepares for a lockup, but Anderson ducks beneath his arms and continues toward the ropes.

 

Anderson rebounds as Bartoli turns—

Running shoulder tackle!

 

Bartoli hits the canvas.

 

Anderson continues moving, bouncing off the opposite ropes before Bartoli can recover.

 

Bartoli gets back to his feet—

Anderson catches him with a forearm to the chest, a back elbow to the jaw and another shoulder tackle!

 

Simon Apple: “Cory Anderson is moving with far more speed than Marion Bartoli expected!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Bartoli wants time to establish a grip and create a technical exchange. Anderson isn’t giving him that opportunity.”

 

Bartoli rolls toward the ropes and pulls himself upright.

 

Anderson charges.

 

Bartoli attempts to catch him in a front facelock, but Anderson slips beneath the reaching arm.

 

Anderson strikes Bartoli with a quick body shot.

 

A second punch lands beneath the ribs.

 

Anderson hooks Bartoli around the waist and sends him overhead with a belly-to-belly suplex!

 

Bartoli lands near the center of the ring.

 

Simon Apple: “Two shots to the body and the belly-to-belly suplex! Anderson is putting combinations together before Bartoli can slow him down!”

 

Bartoli sits up, holding his lower back.

 

Anderson runs toward the ropes again.

 

Bartoli rises and attempts a clothesline.

 

Anderson ducks underneath it, rebounds from the opposite side and drives Bartoli backward with a running shoulder block.

 

Bartoli hits the turnbuckles.

 

Anderson follows him into the corner with a forearm smash, pulls him away from the ropes and plants him with a scoop slam!

 

Valerie Thomas: “This is all momentum. If Bartoli catches Anderson once, this changes immediately.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “But he has to catch him first.”

 

Bartoli rolls onto one knee.

 

Anderson approaches and delivers a right hand to the abdomen.

 

He follows with a short forearm beneath the chin.

 

Bartoli staggers backward.

 

Anderson takes several quick steps, hooks Bartoli around the upper body and drives him into the canvas with a running uranage!

 

Simon Apple: “Dash of Oregano! Cory Anderson hits the Dash of Oregano!”

 

Anderson hooks Bartoli’s far leg.

 

The referee slides into position.

 

Referee: “One! Two—”

 

Lavillenie dives through the ropes and drives a forearm across Anderson’s back, breaking the cover at the last possible moment!

 

Simon Apple: “Renaud Lavillenie breaks it up! That was less than a heartbeat away from three!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Cory Anderson’s sudden increase in pace completely overwhelmed Marion Bartoli, but Lavillenie preserved the match for Le Lutteur.”

 

The referee rises and points toward the Le Lutteur corner.

 

Referee: “Get out of the ring! You are not legal!”

 

Lavillenie ignores the instruction and grabs Anderson from behind.

 

He pulls Anderson to his feet and attempts to throw him through the ropes.

 

Anderson braces himself against the top cable.

 

Lavillenie tries again.

 

Anderson turns, catches Lavillenie by the wrist and reverses the momentum.

 

Lavillenie is sent toward the ropes, but he hooks both arms around the top cable and stops himself from falling to the floor.

 

Simon Apple: “Anderson counters! Lavillenie nearly sent out of the ring!”

 

Anderson charges toward him.

 

Lavillenie drops his shoulder, preparing to send Anderson over the top.

 

Anderson stops short and strikes Lavillenie with a forearm.

 

Lavillenie remains trapped against the ropes.

 

Behind Anderson, Bartoli returns to his feet.

 

Bartoli charges and swings for a clothesline—

Anderson turns at the final moment.

 

The clothesline catches Anderson across the chest, but Bartoli’s momentum carries both men over the top rope!

 

Bartoli and Anderson tumble to the floor together.

 

Simon Apple: “Bartoli clotheslines himself and Cory Anderson out of the ring!”

 

Lavillenie rolls underneath the bottom rope and joins Bartoli on the outside.

 

The referee leans through the ropes and orders Lavillenie back to his corner.

 

Referee: “Lavillenie, get back on the apron!”

 

Lavillenie ignores him.

 

Bartoli and Lavillenie each grab one of Anderson’s arms and pull him upright.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Anderson is in serious trouble. Both members of Le Lutteur have him on the floor.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “This is what happens when you charge into a match without thinking. All that speed has carried Anderson straight into a two-on-one situation.”

 

Le Lutteur position themselves on either side of Anderson.

 

Before they can execute anything, Tara Gonzo enters the ring.

 

She runs across the canvas and rebounds from the opposite ropes.

 

Gonzo charges toward the side of the ring, jumps onto the top rope and launches herself high above ringside!

 

She crashes down onto Bartoli, Lavillenie and Anderson with a high crossbody!

 

All four competitors collapse against the floor.

 

Simon Apple: “Tara Gonzo flies! High crossbody from the top rope takes out everybody!”

 

The crowd erupts as Gonzo rolls onto her back beside Anderson.

 

Bartoli is sprawled near the barricade while Lavillenie lies against the bottom of the entrance ramp.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “That is the Tara Gonzo the fans know. She saw her partner in danger and threw herself into the fight without hesitation.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “She also landed on Cory Anderson.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “She stopped Le Lutteur from attacking him two-on-one.”

 

The referee looks around at the four fallen wrestlers before beginning a count.

 

Referee: “One!”

 

Simon Apple: “While all four competitors attempt to recover, we want to remind everyone that the returning Balor Wolfe will appear in the ring during tonight’s Condition main card.”

 

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “It is incredible to have Balor Wolfe back. And with Alastor and Eros beside him, the whole of Radio Silence feels complete again. That group brings an energy to MAWL that nobody else can duplicate.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “You sound far too excited about three people who bring chaos everywhere they go.”

 

Referee: “Two!”

 

Simon Apple: “There are certainly questions that need to be answered. Most notably, why did Balor Wolfe attack the champion, Elijah, following Elijah’s title match on the last show?”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “There must be an explanation. Whatever Balor’s reason was, we are finally going to hear it directly from him.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Or perhaps everyone will learn that returning heroes are not always as heroic as they remember.”

 

Referee: “Three!”

 

Simon Apple: “I’m sure we will find out why. However, having Balor and the whole of Radio Silence back in MAWL is only going to make things interesting for sure. Now back to this match!”

 

Gonzo is the first competitor to rise.

 

She holds the edge of the ring for balance before turning toward Anderson.

 

Referee: “Four!”

 

Gonzo grabs Anderson by the arm and pulls him toward the apron.

 

Anderson is still dazed from the crossbody and the fall over the ropes.

 

Gonzo forces his upper body onto the apron and rolls him beneath the bottom rope.

 

Referee: “Five!”

 

Anderson lies inside the ring, clutching his ribs.

Gonzo remains outside and looks toward Bartoli.

Bartoli is beginning to crawl toward the ring.

Lavillenie remains down near the barricade.

 

Referee: “Six!”

 

Bartoli gets one knee underneath him.

 

Gonzo moves around the ring, placing herself between Bartoli and the apron.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Gonzo needs to be careful. She has helped Anderson back into the ring, but Anderson cannot win by count-out unless Marion Bartoli is allowed to answer the count.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Why should she allow him? A victory is a victory.”

 

Referee: “Seven!”

 

Bartoli lunges toward the apron.

 

Referee: “Eight!”

 

Gonzo tackles Bartoli around the waist!

 

Bartoli is driven back onto the floor.

 

The referee immediately leans through the ropes and points at Gonzo.

 

Referee: “No! Get away from him!”

 

Simon Apple: “Tara Gonzo stops Bartoli from breaking the count!”

 

Anderson sits up inside the ring and sees what happened.

 

His expression changes from exhaustion to complete frustration.

 

He rolls beneath the bottom rope and lands on the floor, restarting the referee’s count.

 

Simon Apple: “Anderson leaves the ring himself! The count has to restart!”

 

Referee: “One!”

 

Anderson marches toward Gonzo.

 

Cory Anderson: “Enough of this! We win this the right way!”

 

Gonzo raises both hands and argues that she was protecting their advantage.

 

Cory Anderson: “No hair, no eyes, no ropes, no count-out tricks! We do this together, and we do it right!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Cory Anderson has finally had enough. He refuses to accept a victory obtained through Tara Gonzo deliberately bending the rules.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “He had a count-out victory in his hands and threw it away because he wanted to deliver a lecture.”

 

Behind Anderson, Lavillenie gets back to his feet.

 

Anderson remains focused on Gonzo.

 

Lavillenie charges and shoves Anderson from behind!

 

Anderson crashes into Gonzo.

 

The impact knocks Gonzo sideways into the steel ring post!

 

Simon Apple: “Lavillenie shoves Anderson into Gonzo! Tara Gonzo is sent straight into the ring post!”

 

Gonzo drops to the floor holding her shoulder.

 

Anderson turns toward Lavillenie, but Lavillenie grabs him by the head and tights and throws him underneath the bottom rope.

 

Bartoli rises and slides into the ring behind Anderson.

 

Referee: “Two!”

 

Lavillenie follows them onto the apron but does not enter immediately.

 

Inside the ring, Anderson tries to return to his feet.

 

Bartoli catches him with a knee to the abdomen.

 

Anderson doubles over.

 

Lavillenie steps through the ropes as the referee begins the count for the non-legal competitor.

 

Referee: “One!”

 

Bartoli takes hold of Anderson’s legs.

 

Lavillenie moves toward Anderson’s upper body.

 

Simon Apple: “Le Lutteur have Anderson in position!”

 

Bartoli lifts Anderson horizontally from the canvas.

 

Lavillenie rebounds from the ropes.

 

Bartoli pushes Anderson upward as Lavillenie catches him around the head and neck—

 

Le Lutteur drive Anderson face-first into the canvas with a lifting flapjack and cutter combination!

 

Simon Apple: “The Bastille! Le Lutteur hit the Bastille!”

 

Bartoli turns Anderson onto his back and hooks both legs.

 

Lavillenie sees Gonzo climbing onto the apron and moves between her and the cover.

 

The referee drops into position.

 

Referee: “One!”

 

Gonzo grips the top rope.

 

Lavillenie spreads his arms, attempting to block her path.

 

Referee: “Two!”

 

Gonzo springboards into the ring and launches herself at Lavillenie!

 

The crossbody drives the non-legal Lavillenie backward into Bartoli and Anderson, breaking the pin!

 

Simon Apple: “Gonzo breaks it up! She springboards into Lavillenie and sends him crashing directly into the cover!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “What a save from Tara Gonzo! She used the man trying to block her as the weapon that broke the pin!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “And this time Cory Anderson will not be able to complain. That was perfectly legal.”

 

All four competitors are down again.

 

Bartoli lies beside Anderson, stunned by Lavillenie’s accidental collision.

 

Gonzo rolls near the ropes after landing the crossbody.

 

Lavillenie clutches his ribs and slides toward the Le Lutteur corner.

 

The referee stands in the center of the ring, trying to restore order.

 

Referee: “Lavillenie, out! Gonzo, back to your corner!”

 

Neither non-legal competitor immediately responds.

 

Simon Apple: “And still to come on tonight’s Condition main card—”

 

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “This match has completely broken down. Le Lutteur began with discipline and control, but Taste of Victory have dragged them into a contest built around momentum and instinct.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “No, Tara Gonzo has dragged everyone into chaos. Cory Anderson has spent half the match trying to stop his own partner from winning.”

 

Gonzo pulls herself upright with the ropes.

 

She looks toward Anderson, who remains flat on his back.

 

Rather than arguing with him, Gonzo moves across the ring and grabs Anderson by the wrist.

 

She drags him toward the Taste of Victory corner.

 

Simon Apple: “Tara Gonzo pulling Cory Anderson toward their corner!”

 

Gonzo steps onto the apron and reaches over the top rope.

 

She takes Anderson’s hand and slaps it against her own.

 

The referee sees the contact and signals the tag.

 

Simon Apple: “Tag made! Tara Gonzo is legal!”

 

Gonzo springboards over the top rope.

 

Bartoli rises near the center of the ring.

 

This time, Gonzo does not grab the hair, reach for the eyes or look toward the ropes.

 

She raises her hands and meets Bartoli directly.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Look at the change in Tara Gonzo’s posture. No shortcuts and no arguments. She is focused entirely on Marion Bartoli.”

 

Gonzo strikes Bartoli with a low kick to the thigh.

 

She follows with a forearm to the chest and takes him over with an arm drag!

 

Bartoli rolls through and quickly returns to his feet.

 

Simon Apple: “Kick, forearm and the arm drag! Gonzo returning to the fast combinations that gave Le Lutteur problems earlier!”

 

Bartoli charges.

 

Gonzo ducks a clothesline and rebounds from the ropes.

 

She strikes Bartoli with a running dropkick.

 

Bartoli falls backward into the corner.

 

Gonzo follows with a knee to the abdomen, a back elbow to the jaw and a snapmare that sends Bartoli seated near the center of the ring.

 

Gonzo runs past him, rebounds from the ropes and drives both feet into his chest with a low dropkick!

 

Simon Apple: “Gonzo strings together another combination! She is fighting with speed, but she is fighting clean!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Apparently Cory Anderson’s lecture finally ended.”

 

Bartoli struggles upright.

 

Gonzo strikes him with a palm to the jaw.

 

She follows with a roundhouse kick to the ribs and jumps onto his shoulders.

 

Bartoli attempts to hold her in place.

 

Gonzo rotates forward and sends him across the ring with a hurricanrana!

 

Bartoli rolls beneath the bottom rope but manages to remain on the apron.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Bartoli cannot establish a grip. Tara Gonzo is striking, moving and changing direction before he can begin one of those technical exchanges.”

 

Gonzo grabs Bartoli through the ropes and pulls him to his feet on the apron.

 

Bartoli drives a shoulder between the ropes and into Gonzo’s abdomen.

 

Gonzo stumbles backward.

 

Bartoli steps through the ropes.

 

Gonzo charges again.

 

Bartoli reaches for a wristlock, but Gonzo flips forward with the pressure, lands on her feet and catches Bartoli with an enzuigiri!

 

Bartoli drops to one knee.

 

Gonzo rebounds from the ropes and drives him face-first into the canvas with a running bulldog!

 

Simon Apple: “Gonzo counters the wristlock, lands the enzuigiri and follows with the bulldog!”

 

Bartoli pushes himself onto his hands and knees.

 

Gonzo backs toward the ropes.

 

She waits for Bartoli to rise.

 

Bartoli reaches his feet and turns—

Gonzo blasts him beneath the jaw with a superkick!

 

Bartoli collapses onto his back.

 

Simon Apple: “Superkick connects!”

 

Gonzo immediately jumps into the air and rotates backward—

Standing moonsault!

 

She lands across Bartoli’s chest.

 

Simon Apple: “Sweet n Saulty! Tara Gonzo hits Sweet n Saulty!”

 

Gonzo hooks Bartoli’s far leg and presses her shoulders against his chest.

 

The referee slides into position.

 

Referee: “One! Two—”

 

Bartoli throws one shoulder off the canvas!

 

Gonzo stares at the referee in disbelief.

 

Simon Apple: “Bartoli survives! Marion Bartoli kicks out of Sweet n Saulty at the final possible moment!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “That may have been Tara Gonzo’s cleanest and most complete sequence of the match, but Marion Bartoli somehow found enough strength to escape.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “And now we find out whether Gonzo remains focused or returns to those shortcuts.”

 

Gonzo sits beside Bartoli, breathing heavily.

 

The referee holds two fingers in front of her.

 

Anderson grips the tag rope and applauds his partner from the apron.

 

Gonzo briefly looks toward him.

 

Anderson nods.

 

This time, Gonzo nods back.

 

Simon Apple: “Taste of Victory finally appear to be on the same page, but Tara Gonzo may be wondering what else she has to do to keep Marion Bartoli down!”

 

Tara Gonzo remains seated beside Marion Bartoli, staring at the referee’s raised fingers.

 

Referee: “Two! It was only two!”

 

Bartoli rolls onto his stomach and begins crawling toward the Le Lutteur corner.

 

Gonzo shakes her head in frustration.

 

Cory Anderson continues encouraging her from the Taste of Victory apron.

 

Cory Anderson: “Stay on him, Tara! Keep it clean!”

 

Gonzo grabs Bartoli by the hair and drags him away from the corner.

 

The referee immediately steps toward her.

 

Referee: “Let go of the hair!”

 

Anderson’s expression drops.

 

Cory Anderson: “Tara, stop! You don’t need to do that!”

 

Gonzo keeps hold of Bartoli’s hair and pulls him onto his knees.

 

Anderson leans through the ropes.

 

Cory Anderson: “Let him go!”

 

Gonzo finally releases Bartoli and turns toward her partner.

 

Tara Gonzo: “I want to win! Clearly you don’t care about that as much as I do!”

 

Cory Anderson: “Of course I care about winning! I’m not going to cheat to do it!”

 

Tara Gonzo: “You’ve stopped me every time I’ve had this match won!”

 

Cory Anderson: “You had your feet on the ropes!”

 

Tara Gonzo: “And you broke my pin!”

 

Bartoli crawls behind Gonzo while the members of Taste of Victory continue arguing.

 

Simon Apple: “Once again, Tara Gonzo has taken her attention away from Marion Bartoli. The problems within Taste of Victory are threatening to cost them this match!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Cory Anderson is trying to keep his partner from becoming someone she isn’t, but this is not the time or place for this argument.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Anderson has undermined Tara Gonzo throughout this match. She is right to be furious.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “She has repeatedly broken the rules!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “And repeatedly come closer to winning than Cory Anderson has.”

 

Bartoli reaches the Le Lutteur corner.

 

Renaud Lavillenie stretches his arm over the top rope.

 

Bartoli lunges forward and slaps his hand.

 

The referee signals the tag.

 

Simon Apple: “Tag made! Renaud Lavillenie is now legal!”

 

Gonzo remains turned toward Anderson.

 

Cory Anderson: “We’re supposed to be doing this together!”

 

Tara Gonzo: “Then stop getting in my way!”

 

Lavillenie enters through the ropes and charges across the ring.

 

He wraps both arms around Gonzo’s waist from behind.

 

Simon Apple: “Gonzo doesn’t see Lavillenie!”

 

Lavillenie drives Gonzo forward into the Taste of Victory corner.

 

Gonzo collides with Anderson!

 

Anderson is knocked from the apron and crashes hard against the floor.

 

Simon Apple: “Lavillenie sends Gonzo straight into her own partner! Cory Anderson knocked all the way to the outside!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “That argument left both members of Taste of Victory completely exposed!”

 

Gonzo staggers backward from the corner.

 

Lavillenie maintains the waistlock.

 

Gonzo reaches toward the ropes, but Lavillenie rolls backward with her, carries the momentum through and returns to his feet behind her.

 

He immediately launches Gonzo overhead with a German suplex!

 

Gonzo lands across her shoulders and upper back.

 

Simon Apple: “Rolling transition into the German suplex! Incredible execution by Renaud Lavillenie!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “That is what a functioning tag team looks like. No arguments, no lectures—just results.”

 

Lavillenie releases the waistlock and races toward the Le Lutteur corner.

 

Bartoli is still groggy from Sweet n Saulty, but he extends his hand.

 

Lavillenie slaps it.

 

Simon Apple: “Another tag! Marion Bartoli is legal again!”

 

Bartoli steps through the ropes while holding the side of his head.

 

Lavillenie grabs Gonzo by the wrist and pulls her upright.

 

The referee begins counting the departing competitor.

 

Referee: “One!”

 

Gonzo attempts to strike Lavillenie with her free hand.

 

Lavillenie ducks beneath the swing and sends her toward the ropes with an Irish whip.

 

Gonzo rebounds toward the center of the ring.

 

Bartoli steps forward and lifts Gonzo high into the air.

 

Lavillenie catches her around the head on the way down—

Le Lutteur drive Gonzo face-first into the canvas with the lifting flapjack and cutter combination!

 

Simon Apple: “THE BASTILLE! Le Lutteur hit the Bastille for the second time!”

 

Lavillenie rolls away from the impact and exits beneath the bottom rope as Bartoli turns Gonzo onto her back.

 

Bartoli hooks both legs.

 

The referee slides into position.

 

Referee: “One!”

 

On the outside, Anderson reaches for the bottom rope.

 

He pulls himself onto one knee, still visibly shaken from the fall.

 

Referee: “Two!”

 

Anderson grabs the middle rope and tries to pull himself onto the apron.

 

His legs give way beneath him.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Cory Anderson is trying to get back into the ring!”

 

Anderson forces himself upright again, but he cannot climb onto the apron in time.

 

The referee’s hand comes down for the final count.

 

Referee: “Three!”

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Bartoli releases Gonzo’s legs and rolls onto his back, exhausted.

 

Lavillenie enters the ring and helps his partner to his feet.

 

On the outside, Anderson rests against the apron with his head lowered. He looks into the ring at Gonzo, knowing he had been only seconds away from breaking the pin.

 

Simon Apple: “Le Lutteur have done it! The communication and discipline of Marion Bartoli and Renaud Lavillenie carry them to victory over a Taste of Victory team that completely fell apart!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Taste of Victory had several opportunities to win this match, but every argument created another opening for Le Lutteur. Marion Bartoli and Renaud Lavillenie remained united, and that made the difference.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Cory Anderson can blame himself. Tara Gonzo wanted to win, and Anderson spent the match fighting her harder than he fought Le Lutteur.”

 

Sheri Orleans steps into the center of the ring as the referee raises the hands of Marion Bartoli and Renaud Lavillenie.

 

Sheri Orleans: “Here are your winners by pinfall—Renaud Lavillenie and Marion Bartoli—LE LUTTEUR!”

 

 

Bartoli and Lavillenie stand beside one another and turn toward the hard camera. Bartoli raises one arm while Lavillenie places a fist over his heart.

 

Across the ring, Gonzo begins to stir.

 

Anderson rolls underneath the bottom rope and approaches her. He reaches down to help her, but Gonzo pulls her arm away and sits against the bottom turnbuckle.

 

Anderson stands over her, visibly frustrated and unsure how to respond.

 

Simon Apple: “A tremendous victory for Le Lutteur, but there are serious questions surrounding the future of Taste of Victory after what we witnessed tonight.”

 

Simon suddenly presses one hand against his headset.

 

His expression changes.

 

Simon Apple: “I’m just getting word—we have to cut backstage. Something has happened, and it involves our main event for the Infernal Crown inside a cage!”

 

The broadcast cuts abruptly from ringside.

 

 

The camera image shakes violently as the cameraman sprints through the backstage area. Crew members jump out of the way while frantic voices echo from farther down the corridor.

 

Stagehand: “Move! Give them room!”

 

The cameraman rounds the corner and nearly collides with a production crate before reaching the scene.

 

Everything is chaos.

 

 

All-Star Eric Verne lies unconscious on the concrete floor. Medical personnel surround him, one checking his pupils while another carefully stabilizes his neck. A third medic tears open an equipment bag as two stagehands attempt to clear the crowded hallway.

 

Medic: “We need the stretcher over here now!”

 

The camera struggles to find a clear angle as staff members repeatedly rush through the shot.

 

MAWL General Manager DeAndra Jones stands near Verne’s feet, directing traffic while demanding answers from anyone close enough to hear her.

 

 

DeAndra Jones: “Back up and let the medical team work! Somebody tell me what happened!”

 

The nearby stagehands exchange uncertain looks.

 

DeAndra Jones: “Who found him?”

 

Stagehand: “We did. He was already down when we came around the corner.”

 

DeAndra Jones: “Did anybody see who attacked him?”

 

Nobody answers.

 

Jones looks down at Verne as the medical team carefully places a brace around his neck.

 

DeAndra Jones: “Eric Verne is supposed to challenge Elijah for the Infernal Crown tonight. I need to know who did this, and I need to know now.”

 

A sharp clearing of the throat sounds from behind her.

 

Several crew members turn.

 

 

Alastor stands only a few feet away, lazily spinning his cane between his fingers. Balor Wolfe stands beside him with his hands clasped behind his back, looking far too relaxed for the chaos unfolding around them.

 

Jones turns toward them.

 

She does not flinch or step away.

 

Her eyes narrow with immediate suspicion.

 

Alastor tilts his head, his devilish grin never wavering.

 

Alastor: “Ohhh… deer. It appears you are missing your challenger for Elijah and his Infernal Crown title.”

 

Jones looks from Alastor to Balor.

 

DeAndra Jones: “Did either of you have anything to do with this?”

 

Balor raises his eyebrows.

 

Alastor’s grin widens.

 

Before either man can respond, a nearby stagehand steps forward.

 

Stagehand: “No. I just saw them and Eros come in. They went straight to their locker room. Verne wasn’t here when they passed through.”

 

Jones keeps her eyes locked on Balor and Alastor.

 

DeAndra Jones: “What about the other three?”

 

Balor slowly looks down the hallway behind her.

 

A faint smile crosses his face.

 

Balor Wolfe: “You mean those three?”

 

The camera swings around

 

 

Johnny and V of The Edge Runners enter the corridor alongside Zagreus. All three are carrying suitcases and travel bags, appearing to have only just arrived from the parking lot.

 

They stop when they see the medical team gathered around Verne.

 

Johnny lowers his suitcase slightly.

 

Johnny: “What happened here?”

 

V stares toward Verne while Zagreus looks between Balor and Alastor, waiting for an explanation.

 

Alastor taps the bottom of his cane against the concrete.

 

Alastor: “Locker room. Now. Big night for you lot.”

 

Johnny lifts his suitcase again.

 

The Edge Runners and Zagreus exchange confused glances, but all three follow Alastor’s direction and continue down the hallway.

 

Jones watches them leave before turning back toward Balor and Alastor.

 

Behind her, the medical team prepares to move Verne onto the stretcher.

 

DeAndra Jones: “Eric Verne was already scheduled to challenge Elijah for the Infernal Crown inside the cage tonight. If he cannot compete, then I need someone to replace him.”

 

Balor takes one slow step forward.

 

Balor Wolfe: “Sounds like you need a replacement.”

 

DeAndra Jones: “It sounds like you’re volunteering.”

 

Balor spreads his arms.

 

Balor Wolfe: “I did say I came back for the Infernal Crown.”

 

Alastor lightly rests both hands on top of his cane.

 

Alastor: “And what a delightful solution it would be. A returning main-event attraction stepping forward when this company needs him most.”

 

Jones studies them both.

 

Alastor remains amused.

 

Balor remains calm.

 

Jones remains unconvinced.

 

DeAndra Jones: “You do not simply walk back into MAWL and get handed an Infernal Crown title match.”

 

Balor’s smile fades slightly.

 

DeAndra Jones: “Tonight, Balor Wolfe faces SCHMETTERLING in a number-one contender’s match.”

 

Alastor’s grin grows wider.

 

DeAndra Jones: “The winner replaces Eric Verne and challenges Elijah for the Infernal Crown.”

 

Balor’s smile returns.

 

Alastor laughs softly.

 

Alastor: “Now that sounds like must-watch television.”

 

Balor Wolfe: “Awesome.”

 

Balor turns and begins walking down the corridor.

 

Alastor follows, but Jones calls after them.

 

DeAndra Jones: “Do not mistake this opportunity for trust.”

 

Alastor stops.

 

He turns his head just far enough to look at Jones from the corner of his eye.

 

Alastor: “Why, DeAndra… I would never dream of it.”

 

His laughter echoes through the corridor as he follows Balor toward the Radio Silence locker room.

 

Jones watches them leave, her expression hard and suspicious.

 

Behind her, the medical team carefully lifts All-Star Eric Verne onto the stretcher.

 

Medic: “Easy. Keep his head steady.”

 

The stretcher locks into place.

 

Jones turns toward the nearest stagehand.

 

DeAndra Jones: “Get me the security camera footage.”

 

The stagehand nods and hurries away.

 

Jones looks back down the hallway where Balor and Alastor disappeared, clearly unconvinced by their apparent innocence.

 

The medical team begins wheeling All-Star Eric Verne away as the camera lingers on Jones.

 

The distant sound of Alastor’s laughter can still be heard as the broadcast cuts away.

 

 

Simon: I mean we all know that Balor and his crew were responsible, right?

 

 

Valerie: Come on, Simon. You're being paranoid. Balor's a hero in this place.

 

 

Ash: Except for knocking out Elijah after his title win. 

 

Valerie: How do you know he didn't deserve it? I don't trust that one, all sneaky and overly clever.

 

Simon: Before this gets into problematic territory, let's take it to the next match.

 

 

Sheri: The following contest is a Table Match!

 

 

The guitar riffs hit hard as Lightning Lenny Cruz runs full force towards the ring, lightning bolts flashing around him.

 

 

Sheri: FIRST! From Louisville, Kentucky, weighing in at 184 pounds, LIGHTNING! LENNNNNNY! CRUZ!

 

Lightning Lenny Cruz high-fives the crowd then hops on the apron, bouncing right up and backflipping over the rope. 

 

Ash: I gotta say, this...this brings me back. Lenny's time in the ring ended only a few months after I came in as an intern, but he doesn't seem to have lost a step. 

 

Simon: There for sure is no clear sign of ring rust.

 

 

The party lights kick in with the trumpets as "Give Me Body" starts to be spoken through the speakers with the 90s-tastic KENDRA MAYNE graphic shows on the Titan Tron.

 

Suddenly- a sound of a crash, the lights go out and a spotlight hits.

 

The music changes...

 

The drums and piano kick in-

 

 

The spotlight fills in the silhouette of Kendra Mayne as the titantron changes the name to a more Marquee look. 

 

 

Kendra gives an IICONIC pose in the spotlight, which reveals her to boos.

 

Sheri: And his opponent! From New Orleans, Louisiana, the MAYNE ATTRACTION.... KENDRA MAYNE!

 

Kendra struts to the ring, giving "The Hand" to the audience.

 

Ash: On the other hand, this is not the Kendra Mayne I grew up with, and you can hear many of the old hearts breaking. The gear is largely the same, but there's a different edge to her that's unmistakable. 

 

Valerie: Historically, she's never wrestled with the darkness oozing through her, it'll be interesting to see how she takes to it. When you're used to just playing to everyone all the time, it gets old.

 

The bell rings!

 

Simon: My two erstwhile colleagues staring each other down, and I am starting to fear they won't be able to coexist here after this. Kendra with a clawed slap that scrapes the face of Lenny, the disdain reverberating with the impact. She takes a hold of Lenny's hair, and a chop to his throat. That'll bend his neck and a bionic elbow to his head.

 

Ash: It's a more deliberate pace than old-school fans are used to from the former high flyer, and she is showing no sense of urgency or showpersonship, choosing brutality instead. Grabbing him by the hair again, running his face into the turnbuckle and tarantula hold over the rope!

 

Valerie: It's all legal, there's no disqualification in this match, and she's using that to her advantage. Good on her for understanding the dynamic at hand.

 

Ash: The referee is largely ornamental in a match like this, as it's fairly clear when you go through a table and anything else goes. 

 

Simon: Smooth backflip out of the hold and she lands on her feet on the apron. Going shopping and this was the first sign of a mistake, Lenny gets some momentum and springboard shooting star takes her down outside! Lenny with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors and whips her into the barricade with it! 

 

Ash: She landed upside-down! Maybe bonking her head again will remind her of who she really is -- and basement dropkick by Cruz. Cruz to the top of the barricade and coming down with a leg drop! Living up to the lightning, dude's not wasting any moment for Kendra to catch her breath, scoop up and a rolling Fireman's Carry. 

 

Valerie: Credit where credit's due, Cruz has the wherewithal of a seasoned vet but the energy of someone coming out of their first season. 

 

Simon: Flipping arm drag, and Kendra is rolled back, Cruz not giving her a moment to breathe, floatover neckbreaker and keeping it rolling into an Inverted Suplex. 

 

Ash: No offense to Lenny, but if he can still fight like this, his talents were wasted back here in the booth. 

 

Valerie: I think that's more a dig on us than him. 

 

Simon: Back on the barricade and moonsault, he's keeping the pace at a lightning clip and just rolling back, up to the apron and back down with a corkscrew splash. 

 

Ash: This is the first attempt at getting a table, Lenny going under the apron. 

 

Valerie: Also the first time Lenny turns his back to Kendra, and she makes him pay for it with a low blow! Head smash into the apron, and another, you can tell she's relishing every moment of this. And I get it...the first time fighting in your career when you don't have to make the fans happy, seems like it must be freeing. 

 

Simon: She gets him up on her shoulders, Samoan Drop! Starting to get her groove back, Spike Piledriver to keep him down, oh she gets a wired microphone and gets it around his neck! OOH this is starting to really seem personal, standing on his back and this is getting dangerous. 

 

Ash: Lenny trying to get to his feet and it's like she's just hogtying him now. This is insane.

 

Valerie: I said it before. No disqualifications, this is all above board. 

 

Simon: Lenny getting his thumbs around the wire, trying to loosen the hold, successful in doing so and pulls her closer through it, uppercut and she falls back. Lenny gets the legs, slingshot back towards the ring! Now he's got that table, sends it into the ring, starting onto the apron and Kendra gets her arms around his waist... High Angle German Suplex off the apron!! 

 

Ash: Good to see she can actually still wrestle too. 

 

Valerie: Oh, don't be bitter. She's showing she's clearly still talented, with a Wicked Stepsister into the concrete! Getting him up by the hair, the hook-up and Fisherman Suplex into the Steps! Gets herself up onto the apron...Mushroom Stomp beautifully landed and Lenny crumples! Oh and stepping on him with authority as she gets to the top of the steps... pulling him up and stump piledriver!! Go off queen!

 

Simon: Kendra showing utter disdain for Lenny, stepping on his head as she comes down the steps. She's clearly come into her own here for better or worse, scooping Lenny up for a Dominator but Lenny slides back with a neckbreaker!! He's clearly exhausted but trying to get his way back into the ring, rolling back and catching his breath for a second, Kendra up to the apron and grabs Lenny, suplex out of the ring! 

 

Ash: Springboard moonsault, Lenny with the knees up! He's still in this thing! Struggling to get himself inside the ring, pulling himself up onto the apron, and he's got the table set up, this could be exactly the break he-

 

 

Valerie: QUEEN PLATINUM POPS UP THROUGH THE RING!! SHE....SMASHES THAT METAL SKULL INTO THE BACK OF LENNY'S HEAD! Thing of beauty!! 

 

Simon: It's a thing of devastation!! Platinum puts the table over her entrance hole...Kendra's in and DOUBLE CHOKESLAM SENDS LENNY THROUGH THE TABLE AND THROUGH THE HOLE!!! 

 

Kendra Mayne wins!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner.... The Mayne Attraction, Kendra! Mayne!!!

 

Ash: Wait, what are they doing now?

 

Valerie: It looks like they're making it official! A love story for the ages!

 

 

Simon: OH! HERE COMES SEX APPEAL....and it looks like they're celebrating together!!

 

 

Valerie: I guess that's now two former announcers in Sex Appeal. What are you guys doing to your announcers to make them break bad like this? 

 

Simon: I wish I knew. 

 

Ash: This looks like a combination of love and hubris. 

 

Simon: Goes together like a horse and glue, miss. 

 

Valerie: Oy vay. Let's-just...move on. Yeah. 

 

 

Sheri: The following trios tag match is scheduled for One Fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

US Rae steps out in shades, guarding the doorway.

 

 

The lights go dark blue with smoke filling the arena. 

 

Asesinato SA walks out, Aja Lioness flanked by Paulina and Rica Muerte. 

 

 

Sheri: First! Representing Zora Luthor International, Aja Lioness, Rica Muerte, and Paulina Clark, ASESINATO SA!!

 

Aja, Paulina, and Rica stare down the members of Sex Appeal, who stare them back down for a very uncomfortable moment before they all file out, mostly in single file except Platinum and Kendra, who leave holding hands. 

 

Sex Appeal shoulders Asesinato SA as they walk out.

 

Simon: The reception is still very frosty, Jassy clearly hasn't forgiven Aja for the possum pin that took her out of the equation at W2.

 

Ash: It would be in some way a karmic moment for Kendra to join ZLI just as it explodes. 

 

Valerie: Don't be rude.

 

Backstage Jeannie Rose does a Sailor Moon style transformation. 

 

Pink smoke fills the stage. When the smoke clears, Jeannie is on the stage in her Sailor Moon costume and does a Sailor Moon pose.

 

 

Sheri: And their opponents! First, from London, England, JEANNNNNIE ROSE!!

 

Fireworks go off behind her, and she starts to skip, then stops and motions towards the entrance where...

 

 

Isabella Van der Garde skips out.

 

 

Sheri: And her partners! First, from Den Helder, Netherlands, ISABELLA VAN DER GARDE!!!

 

Isabella skips next to Jeannie Rose, and then they separate and both motion to the entrance-

 

 

The titantron shows pirate ships on an ocean with rainbow skies, as Chanty comes out with a telescope.

 

 

Sheri: And! From Nice, France, representing the Edelweiss Brigade, the Rainbow Raider, CHANTY!!

 

Chanty leads the others down the ramp, giving the Christian Cage "Land Ho" look as they go.

 

Ash: She may be from the other side of France, but there is still a considerable amount of national pride and this audience loves her. 

 

The trio jumps up on the apron in unison, they each take a corner and look out to the audience as the fireworks go off as if cannons were shot.

 

The bell rings!

 

Valerie: Chanty starting up against Aja Lioness, locking up in a test of strength, Aja blasts her with a Uranage. Armlock, tag into Rica Muerte, Rica kicks Chanty under the arm! A united team is going to be better than a ragtag team any day. 

 

Ash: Especially if they're cheating cheaters. 

 

Simon: Rica gets Chanty up and slingshot into the turnbuckle, tag to Paulina Clark. Paulina Clark slamming Chanty's head into the turnbuckle with devastating force. Tag to Aja, Aja continuing the head slam into the turnbuckle, Paulina grabs Chanty by the chin and she's yelling something at her. Oh, she shoves something in her mouth, what the hell is happening?

 

Valerie: Paulina is making investments. Use what you got. 

 

Ash: Shove to Chanty, Chanty cartwheels back and tag in to Jeannie. Jeannie ducks the spin kick goes behind and German Suplex! Locks her in the Triangle Choke, and looking to get Aja done and dusted here... Aja fighting to the ropes, Jeannie wrenches her back! 

 

Simon: Aja realizing that the break is not in her future, switching out where she's putting her energy...oh damn, Stunner! Jeannie down! Aja taking a run, back for the elbow drop and Jeannie catches her out with the Monkey Flip! Lining up for the Super Duper AJA EVADES AND RICA CATCHES THE FOOT! SWEEP BY AJA ON THE GROUNDED LEG RICA STILL HAS HER LEG UP! TAG INTO RICA AND FLIPPING LEG BREAKER!!! THAT LOOKED LIKE A 180 BEND!!! That just upped the Defcon level considerably for Jeannie! 

 

Ash: She's clearly favoring that leg as she gets up OH A CHOP BLOCK BY RICA! KNEE SMASHER! THIS IS GONNA GET SO MUCH WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER AND ANOTHER ONE!

 

Valerie: Take the Super and the Duper out of the Kick! It's classic strategy and Rica is applying it perfectly! Dragging her by the leg over to the rope, drapes it over the bottom rope, tag into Aja and stomp by Paulina on the leg!! Paulina moves to the side, Rica hops the turnstile and jumping stomp to put more hurt on it!! And US Rae kicks it from the bottom up!!! 

 

Simon: The teamwork may be taking a nefarious nature, but it is cohesive. Rica gets the good leg and brings it to the other side of the pole, US SMASHES the bad leg into the steel! AND AGAIN AND ISABELLA HAS SEEN ENOUGH! ISABELLA DOWN AND CHARGING OVER TO STOP THE CHAOS! 

 

Ash: I see that Chanty's certainly taking her sweet time... oh she's getting inside the ring and Rica gets inside the ring to face her down, Jenny Caldwell desperately trying to get control of this match! 

 

Valerie: Paulina gets in the way of Isabella as US continues to work, they are making great use of the Numbers Game here. 

 

Simon: Oh that face-off between Isabella and Paulina is real tense out there. Paulina goes to swing and Isabella blocks it. Paulina...doesn't seem to mind. 

 

Ash: And that's why, Paulina wasn't going for a punch, she was going for a handoff! That's a roll of paper and a card Isabella has sitting in her hand! What the hell is happening?? 

 

Simon: What's happening is Paulina is backing off, rolling into the ring to hold Chanty at bay, maybe Isabella convinced... what the hell is Isabella doing? 

 

Valerie: She's sitting down. 

 

Simon: That's not the part I'm worried about, it's the where.

 

 

Ash: Of all the asses to come down on your ankle full force. That's just awful.

 

Valerie: She's finally cutting the cute little stargazer act, I think her run ins with XHW and Maki have shown her that there's not a lot of success to be had being everyone's kooky little friend. Oh, she's coming off HIP DROP ON THE ANKLE!! USE WHAT THEY GAVE YA!

 

Simon: This... this is horrible. And Asesinato SA lift the broken Jeannie up... Zombie Raising. That's the end of the match and likely the beginning of Isabella's alliance with Asesinato. Cover as Chanty is too shocked and outnumbered to do anything about it...

 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Aja Lioness pins Jeannie Rose, and Asesinato SA win!

 

 

Sheri: Here are your winners... Aja Lioness, Rica Muerte, and Paulina Clark! ASESINATO S.A.!!

 

Simon: Oh and this is a full beatdown. It seems fairly clear now that Isabella has a new home. And Chanty is retreating to the corner. 

 

Ash: Maybe she's going to get help.

 

 

Valerie: Or maaaaaybe she's lining something up! Everyone lifting Jeannie up in preparation! Running.... BLASTS JEANNIE ROSE WITH THE RAINBOW CONNECTION SHINING WIZARD!!! This is the end of Edelweiss Brigade as we know it!!! What a night! Three of my favorite people choosing themselves!

 

 

Ash: Horrible. Simply horrible. 

 

Simon: This also means that Aja Lioness crucially picks up two allies in her war against Sex Appeal, and what a two they are. 

 

Ash: Well, at least the next two competitors will be more noble and actually fight the good fight.

 

 

Ash: Aaaaaand I've been informed they've been found laid out in the back room. 

 

 

DAJ: WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE. I want the location of anyone associated with El Verdad, Radio Silence, XHW, and Zora Luthor International in the past 2 minutes and I want it 2 minutes ago.

 

Security: YES MA'AM!

 

Security march off as DA pinches her nose in frustration. The camera lingers on her as she sighs heavily. 

 

 

Simon: DA is going to need the biggest bottle of wine after tonight.

 

 

Valerie: Did she think her taking the role from Colin was going to just magically turn things around?

 

 

Ash: I think she thought she could handle it but it's like adaptive intelligence. The more you can handle, the more intense it gets. I do not want nor envy the job of a GM. 

 

Simon: Well, our replacement match is already in the ring, so we should send it over to your betrothed. 

 

Ash: Agreed. Darling?

 

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Sheri: In the ring... from San Juan, Puerto Rico, weighing in at 242 points.... MANDA! MIIIIIENTO!! And his opponent! From Parts Unknown... The Flawless Weapon.... ASH! KYYYYYYLLIS!

Ash Kyllis stands quietly in his corner, his eyes fixed across the ring.

 

Manda Miento is inside the ring as well, but his attention is nowhere near his opponent. Miento leans over the top rope, shouting down at a stagehand standing on the arena floor.

 

The referee checks both competitors before calling for the bell.

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

The match officially begins.

 

Miento does not turn around.

 

“Why am I a tryout match for some rookie?” Miento demands, pointing angrily toward the stagehand. “I should be on the main card! I should be competing for something that matters!”

 

The stagehand keeps his hands raised, making no attempt to argue.

 

“The GM thinks this is best.”

 

“Best for who?” Miento shouts. “I came out here in a tank, and now I’m being used to test some unsigned nobody?”

 

“The GM thinks this is best,” the stagehand repeats.

 

Simon Apple: “The bell has rung, but Manda Miento is still arguing with a member of the production crew!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Can you blame him, Simon? Manda Miento should not be wasting his time in a tryout match against some unsigned rookie. The man arrived in a tank! You don’t put a tank on the kickoff show!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Miento is the more experienced competitor, but experience doesn’t help much when you turn your back on your opponent.”

 

Inside the opposite corner, Ash Kyllis watches the argument unfold.

 

A faint smirk creeps across his face.

 

The referee steps toward Miento and orders him to turn around.

 

 

Miento waves the official away without looking.

 

“You tell the general manager that Manda Miento belongs on the main card!”

 

“The GM thinks this is best.”

 

Miento grips the top rope and leans farther over it.

 

“Is that the only thing you can say?”

 

“The GM thinks this is best.”

 

Kyllis steps out of his corner.

 

Simon Apple: “Miento had better pay attention. Ash Kyllis has been remarkably patient so far.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Achilles should remain patient. This is the closest he’ll ever get to sharing a ring with someone like Manda Miento.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “It’s Ash Kyllis.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “That is what I said.”

 

Kyllis suddenly breaks into a sprint.

 

Miento hears the crowd rise and finally begins turning away from the stagehand.

 

He is too late.

 

Kyllis charges directly toward the ropes, plants both feet against the middle rope while facing it and springs backward in one fluid motion.

 

His body twists through the air.

 

CRACK!

 

The flying knee connects flush against Miento’s jaw.

 

Simon Apple: “FLYING KNEE! ASH KYLLIS SPRINGS OFF THE ROPES AND CATCHES MIENTO RIGHT ON THE JAW!”

 

The impact launches Miento backward.

 

His boots leave the canvas as he crashes onto his back and slides across the ring, finally coming to rest near the ropes on the opposite side.

 

The stagehand immediately retreats from ringside.

 

The crowd erupts.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Miento spent so much time complaining about being in the match that he forgot the match had already started!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “That was a cheap shot!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “The bell rang.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Manda wasn’t ready!”

 

Simon Apple: “Manda Miento was standing inside the ring when the bell sounded. Ash Kyllis was under no obligation to wait for him.”

 

Kyllis lands on his feet, taking only a short stumbling step before regaining his balance.

 

He looks across the ring at Miento without celebrating.

 

The smirk is gone.

 

Miento rolls onto one knee, holding his jaw. His eyes widen as he realises how far the strike sent him.

 

Then his expression changes.

 

Embarrassment turns into fury.

 

Valerie Thomas: “There. Look at his face. Ash Kyllis has made a terrible mistake.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “You mean Achilles?”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Don’t start.”

 

Miento grabs the ropes and begins dragging himself back to his feet.

 

Kyllis surges forward before he can fully rise.

 

Ash swings a kick toward Miento’s head—

Miento ducks underneath it.

 

Simon Apple: “Miento avoids the kick!”

 

Kyllis’ momentum carries him past, but he immediately plants one foot, whips his body around and snaps his free leg backward.

 

CRACK!

 

The enzuigiri catches Miento directly in the back of the skull.

 

Miento is driven face-first into the canvas.

 

Simon Apple: “ENZUIGIRI TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! MIENTO GOES DOWN AGAIN!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “That wasn’t just speed. That was adjustment. Miento read the first kick correctly, but Kyllis already had the second strike waiting for him.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Or he was flailing around and got lucky.”

 

Kyllis lands beside Miento.

 

He does not give his opponent any space to recover.

 

Ash catches Miento by the wrist and pulls sharply, dragging the larger and more experienced wrestler up from the canvas.

 

Miento stumbles directly into Kyllis’ grasp.

 

Ash steps through, hooks him across the body and spins.

 

THUD!

 

Kyllis drives Miento into the mat with a spinning scoop slam.

 

The impact shakes the ring.

 

Simon Apple: “Spinning scoop slam! Ash Kyllis is combining attacks before Manda Miento can establish any kind of base!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Two strikes into the slam. Kyllis is not giving Miento enough time to understand what is happening.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Manda Miento has more experience than this kid could dream of having. He just needs one opening.”

 

Miento immediately rolls beneath the bottom rope and drops to the arena floor.

 

He staggers away from the ring, holding the back of his head and trying to create distance.

 

Simon Apple: “Miento rolls outside!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “He is repositioning.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “He just escaped the ring to get away from an unsigned rookie.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “A tactical repositioning.”

 

The referee leans through the ropes and orders Miento to return.

 

Miento ignores him, pacing around the outside while attempting to clear his head.

 

The referee begins counting.

 

“ONE!”

 

Kyllis watches from inside the ring.

Miento reaches the opposite side of the ringside area and turns toward Ash.

 

“TWO!”

 

Ash suddenly runs toward the far ropes.

He rebounds and races back across the ring with increasing speed.

 

Simon Apple: “Kyllis is moving again!”

 

Miento looks up.

 

Ash jumps onto the top rope without using his hands and springs outward.

His body rotates forward in a complete front flip.

As he descends, Kyllis extends his arm across Miento’s chest and throat.

CRASH!

The flipping springboard clothesline wipes Miento out.

 

Both men slam into the floor, but Kyllis rolls through the landing while Miento crashes flat onto his back.

 

The referee is forced to restart his count.

 

“ONE!”

 

Simon Apple: “GOOD LORD! A FRONT-FLIPPING SPRINGBOARD CLOTHESLINE!”

 

The crowd rises as one.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Who told us Ash Kyllis was a power wrestler?”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Every scouting report we were given!”

 

Simon Apple: “Those reports describe Kyllis as an explosive power-and-speed hybrid, but this is something entirely different! He is moving around the ring like a luchador!”

 

Kyllis pushes himself upright and glances toward the audience.

 

For the first time since the bell, he acknowledges them.

 

Ash steps onto the lower portion of the fan barricade, balancing on the narrow metal railing. He raises one fist as the nearby supporters reach toward him.

 

The crowd responds with a louder roar.

 

“TWO!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “He isn’t even signed, and listen to this reaction!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “It is the kickoff show. These people are easily entertained.”

 

Simon Apple: “This is Ash Kyllis’ tryout match. Management has not offered him a contract. Tonight is his opportunity to prove he belongs in Condition, and he is making the most of every second.”

 

Behind him, Miento rolls onto his stomach.

Manda slowly pushes onto his hands and knees. He reaches for the barricade and begins pulling himself upward.

 

“THREE!”

 

Kyllis turns his head.

He sees Miento rising.

Ash remains standing on the barricade.

 

Simon Apple: “What is Kyllis thinking now?”

 

Miento reaches his feet, although his legs remain unsteady.

Kyllis bends his knees and jumps backward from the barricade.

He throws his body into a standing moonsault.

THUD!

Ash crashes chest-first across Miento, flattening him against the ringside floor.

The crowd explodes again.

 

Simon Apple: “STANDING MOONSAULT FROM THE BARRICADE!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Two hundred and thirty-eight pounds just rotated through the air like it was nothing!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “He also landed on the floor. This kind of nonsense is exactly why inexperienced wrestlers don’t last.”

 

Kyllis sits up, barely acknowledging the impact on his own body.

He looks back toward Miento.

Manda is sprawled on the floor, staring toward the arena lights with his mouth hanging open.

 

“FOUR!”

 

Simon Apple: “We need to emphasise the similarities between these two men. Miento weighs two hundred and forty-two pounds. Kyllis weighs two hundred and thirty-eight. Both men possess frightening strength, both are capable of sudden violence, and neither appears especially concerned about the wellbeing of his opponent.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “But Manda Miento has the experience. He has been through longer matches. He has survived mistakes. Kyllis is still trying to prove he can compete at this level.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Exactly. Kyllis is emptying everything he has into the opening minutes because he doesn’t know how to pace himself.”

 

“FIVE!”

 

Kyllis rises.

 

He bends over Miento and wraps both arms around his waist.

Miento remains almost completely horizontal as Ash tightens his grip.

 

Simon Apple: “Surely he isn’t going to—”

 

Kyllis braces his legs.

 

He deadlifts Manda Miento directly off the floor.

 

There is no assistance from Miento, no momentum and no staggered climb. Ash simply lifts the 242-pound powerhouse from a prone position until Miento is suspended against his chest.

 

The audience gasps.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “There’s the power!”

 

Simon Apple: “Our notes claim Ash Kyllis can deadlift over seven hundred pounds, squat nearly six hundred and bench press more than five hundred!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Those numbers are ridiculous.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “You were just defending the scouting reports!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “I defend the reports that support my argument.”

 

“SIX!”

 

Kyllis takes one step toward the ring.

Then another.

 

Miento begins throwing short elbows down against Ash’s shoulder, but Kyllis does not release him.

 

“SEVEN!”

 

Ash adjusts his grip, hoists Miento higher and charges toward the apron.

 

With a violent heave, Kyllis throws Manda through the space between the middle and top ropes.

 

Miento flies into the ring, lands hard on his shoulder and rolls toward the centre of the canvas.

 

Simon Apple: “ASH KYLLIS JUST THREW MANDA MIENTO BACK INTO THE RING!”

 

The referee stops the count.

 

Kyllis places both hands on the apron and looks inside at his fallen opponent.

 

Manda rolls onto his back, stunned and furious, while Ash remains on the floor beneath him.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Manda Miento wanted to know why he was being used in a tryout match.”

 

Kyllis pulls himself onto the apron.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “I think Ash Kyllis is beginning to show him.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Manda Miento is still the more experienced man. Let the rookie keep showing off. The longer this lasts, the more dangerous it becomes for him.”

 

Kyllis steps between the ropes as Miento begins pushing himself up from the canvas.

 

Miento looks toward Kyllis with humiliation burning across his face.

 

Ash stands motionless.

Waiting.

 

Manda Miento pushes himself fully upright near the centre of the ring.

 

His chest rises and falls as he stares across at Ash Kyllis. The humiliation of the opening minutes is written across his face. Kyllis has thrown him around the ring, launched himself over the ropes and embarrassed the more experienced competitor without allowing Miento to land a single meaningful attack.

 

Ash remains completely still.

That faint smirk has returned.

 

Simon Apple: “Look at Manda Miento. This is no longer about being placed in a tryout match. This is personal now.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “It should be personal! Ash Kyllis attacked him while he was trying to resolve a legitimate issue with management.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “The bell had rung, Valerie.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Technicality.”

 

Miento clenches both fists and suddenly charges.

 

Simon Apple: “Miento rushes Kyllis!”

 

Ash steps aside at the final possible moment.

 

Miento barrels past him toward the ropes.

 

Before Manda can even make contact with them, Kyllis is already moving.

 

Ash races toward the opposite side, rebounds off the ropes and comes sprinting back across the ring.

 

Miento turns around—

Kyllis launches himself into a running crossbody.

 

Simon Apple: “CROSSBODY—NO!”

 

Manda catches him.

 

The crowd gasps as Miento holds the 238-pound Kyllis horizontally across his chest.

 

For the first time in the match, Ash’s momentum has been completely stopped.

 

Valerie Thomas: “There! There it is! Manda Miento finally caught Achilles!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Ash Kyllis.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “He’s about to become Ash Crushed.”

 

Miento’s anger gives way to a satisfied smirk.

 

He adjusts his grip, forces Kyllis upright and begins manoeuvring him into a vertical suplex position.

 

Manda hooks Ash’s head beneath his arm, grabs the waistband and lifts him upside down.

 

Simon Apple: “Miento has finally stopped that explosive speed, and now he has Kyllis suspended!”

 

Miento holds Ash vertically above the canvas, allowing the blood to rush toward his head.

 

Valerie Thomas: “This is the experience difference. Kyllis has been sprinting around like a lunatic, but Manda Miento only needed to catch him once.”

 

Ash’s legs begin to move.

 

He twists his hips while still upside down, breaks Miento’s grip and rotates down the side of his body.

 

Kyllis lands behind him.

 

Before Manda can turn, Ash jumps, hooks one leg across the back of Miento’s neck and drives him face-first into the canvas.

 

THUD!

 

Simon Apple: “FAMOUSER! HOW DID KYLLIS TURN THAT INTO A FAMOUSER?!”

 

Miento’s face bounces off the mat.

 

Ash uses the momentum of the landing to tumble forward into a shoulder roll.

 

He rolls through, plants both hands on the canvas and kicks himself back onto his feet.

 

The smirk returns as he turns toward the crowd.

 

A chant begins in the front rows.

 

“ASH KYLLIS!”

“ASH KYLLIS!”

 

It quickly spreads throughout the arena.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Listen to this crowd! This unsigned man is winning them over with every move!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “He hasn’t won anything yet.”

 

“ASH KYLLIS!”

“ASH KYLLIS!”

 

Kyllis stands in the centre of the ring, absorbing the reaction without raising his arms or openly celebrating.

 

He simply nods once.

 

Simon Apple: “I’m struggling to describe what we are seeing. Manda Miento has the experience advantage. He has competed at this level. He has fought powerhouses, technicians and high-flyers—but he has not landed a single blow against Ash Kyllis!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Kyllis has been faster, stronger and one step ahead of him from the opening bell.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Because Manda has been forced to wrestle a match he wasn’t prepared for! Nobody told him this so-called power wrestler was going to start bouncing around like a luchador!”

 

Miento pushes onto his hands and knees.

 

Ash turns away from the chanting crowd.

 

The smirk disappears.

 

Kyllis approaches Manda from the side, reaches around his waist and locks both hands together.

 

Miento is still kneeling when Ash begins to lift.

 

Simon Apple: “Kyllis has that gutwrench secured!”

 

Ash deadlifts Manda completely off the canvas.

 

He rotates the 242-pound powerhouse through the air and drives him down across the mat.

 

THUD!

 

Simon Apple: “DEADLIFT GUTWRENCH SLAM!”

 

Miento arches his back from the impact, but Kyllis does not attempt a cover.

 

Ash grabs him by the wrist and pulls him upright.

 

Manda attempts to brace his feet, but Kyllis drags him forward.

 

Ash releases the wrist, catches Miento around the torso with one arm and lifts him completely off the mat.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “One arm! He has Miento with one arm!”

 

Kyllis turns and drives Manda down with a one-armed side slam.

BOOM!

The ring shakes again.

 

Simon Apple: “ONE-ARMED SIDE SLAM! Manda Miento weighs four pounds more than Ash Kyllis, and Kyllis is handling him like he weighs nothing!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “These power displays are impressive, but he is wasting energy. An experienced wrestler understands that a match is not a weightlifting exhibition.”

 

Miento rolls onto his side, clutching his ribs.

 

Ash grabs him beneath the chin and pulls him back to his feet.

 

Manda throws a desperate wild clothesline.

 

Kyllis ducks underneath it, rebounds off the ropes and returns with an explosive shoulder tackle to the midsection.

 

The collision doubles Miento over.

 

Ash immediately hooks him around the waist and lifts.

 

Manda is rotated high into the air before Kyllis drives him down with a steep, high-angle spinebuster.

CRASH!

Miento’s shoulders and upper back slam into the canvas.

 

Simon Apple: “HIGH-ANGLE SPINEBUSTER! MIENTO WAS ALMOST DRIVEN THROUGH THE RING!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Three consecutive power moves. Kyllis has demonstrated the speed, and now he is proving every one of those ridiculous strength numbers might be accurate!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Manda Miento is still the more experienced wrestler.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “He is also still waiting to land his first move.”

 

The crowd rises again as Kyllis stands over his opponent.

 

Miento lies on his back, blinking toward the arena lights.

 

Ash reaches down and catches him by the wrist.

 

He slowly pulls Miento upright.

 

Simon Apple: “Kyllis is not covering him. He may be looking to finish this!”

 

Ash steps behind Miento and wraps both arms around his waist.

 

The audience recognises the position.

 

Kyllis lowers his centre of gravity, preparing to launch Manda with the snap release German suplex that begins Rapid Descent.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Rapid Descent! If Kyllis lands this, the tryout match may be over!”

 

Miento’s eyes widen.

 

He reaches forward and grabs the referee by the front of the shirt.

 

The official is yanked directly between the two competitors.

 

Simon Apple: “Miento has the referee!”

 

Ash stops his lift to avoid throwing the official.

 

The referee struggles to free himself while warning Miento to release him.

 

Manda keeps one hand gripping the referee’s shirt.

 

With the official trapped against his chest and unable to see behind him, Miento kicks his leg backward.

 

His heel drives between Ash’s legs.

 

Kyllis’ entire body freezes.

 

His grip instantly releases.

 

Ash drops to his knees behind Miento, his face twisted in pain.

 

Valerie Thomas: “There you go!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “He kicked Kyllis below the belt!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Did you see it?”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Yes!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “The referee didn’t.”

 

Miento shoves the official away and turns around.

 

The referee looks between the two men, confused as Ash remains doubled over on his knees.

 

Manda raises both hands innocently.

 

Simon Apple: “Manda Miento used the referee as a shield and delivered a blatant mule kick below the belt! That is how the veteran has finally taken control!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “That is called improvisation. Kyllis should take notes.”

 

Miento’s smirk returns.

 

This time, it is Ash who cannot defend himself.

 

Manda grabs Kyllis by the hair and drags him upright.

 

The referee warns him about the hair, forcing Miento to switch to a grip around the back of Ash’s neck.

 

Manda drives a knee into Kyllis’ abdomen.

 

Ash folds forward.

 

Miento follows with a heavy clubbing forearm across the upper back, dropping Kyllis to one knee.

 

Before Ash can fall completely, Manda catches him around the waist and launches him overhead with a belly-to-belly suplex.

THUD!

 

Kyllis lands hard and rolls toward the corner.

 

Simon Apple: “Knee to the body, clubbing forearm and an overhead belly-to-belly suplex! Manda Miento finally strings together his first combination!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “And look at the difference immediately. Manda doesn’t need to flip through the air. He hits you, he lifts you and he throws you.”

 

Ash uses the turnbuckles to pull himself upright.

 

Manda gives him no time to recover.

 

He charges into the corner and crushes Kyllis with a body avalanche.

 

The air is driven from Ash’s lungs.

 

Miento steps back, grabs Kyllis by the arm and pulls him out of the corner into a short-arm clothesline.

Ash flips inside out and lands face-down on the canvas.

 

Manda continues forward, hits the ropes and returns with a running elbow drop across Kyllis’ back.

 

Simon Apple: “Avalanche, short-arm clothesline and the running elbow drop! Miento is finally dictating this match!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “That illegal strike changed everything. Before that mule kick, Kyllis had not been touched.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Before that alleged strike.”

 

Miento rises and points down at Ash.

 

“You’re a rookie!” he shouts. “You don’t belong in my ring!”

 

Manda grabs Kyllis beneath the chin and drags him upright again.

 

Ash attempts a weak forearm to the body.

 

Miento absorbs it and drives a headbutt directly into Kyllis’ forehead.

Ash staggers backward.

 

Manda follows with a second headbutt, knocking him into the ropes.

Kyllis rebounds forward into Miento’s grasp.

 

Manda scoops him across his body, turns and drops him with a heavy running powerslam.

BOOM!

Miento hooks both legs.

The referee drops to the canvas.

 

ONE!

TWO!

 

Ash forces one shoulder off the mat.

 

The crowd cheers as the referee signals a two-count.

 

Simon Apple: “Kyllis kicks out at two!”

 

Miento remains on his knees, staring at the official in disbelief.

 

He holds up three fingers.

 

The referee firmly answers with two.

 

Valerie Thomas: “That was three!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “It was two, and Ash Kyllis is still alive in this match.”

 

Miento slaps the mat and rises.

 

Behind him, Ash rolls onto his side, one hand pressed between his legs and the other clutching his ribs.

 

For the first time all night, the smirk is gone.

 

Manda stands over the unsigned rookie, his confidence restored after three punishing combinations.

 

He leans down beside Ash’s head.

 

“Welcome to Condition, Achilles.”

 

Kyllis’ eyes slowly open.

 

Simon Apple: “Manda Miento finally has control—but he may have just chosen the worst possible way to keep it.”

 

Manda Miento stands over Ash Kyllis with his confidence completely restored.

 

Kyllis remains on his side near the centre of the ring, one arm wrapped around his ribs after the running powerslam. Miento reaches down, grabs him by the back of the neck and forces the unsigned competitor upright.

 

Manda immediately drives a knee into Ash’s stomach.

 

Kyllis folds forward.

 

Miento clubs him across the spine with a heavy forearm, straightens him again and finishes the combination with a snap suplex that sends Ash crashing onto his back.

 

THUD!

 

Simon Apple: “Knee to the abdomen, clubbing forearm and a snap suplex! Manda Miento is taking his time now.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Because he can. The rookie had his little burst of excitement, but Manda has weathered it. Experience always finds a way.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Experience didn’t kick Ash Kyllis below the belt. Manda Miento did.”

 

Miento rises slowly.

 

Instead of following up, he steps over Kyllis and walks toward the ropes. Manda spreads his arms and turns toward the crowd, presenting himself as though the outcome is already inevitable.

 

Boos pour down from the stands.

 

Miento closes his eyes and absorbs them with a satisfied smirk.

 

Simon Apple: “Miento is posing instead of staying on his opponent.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “He is reminding everyone who the real attraction is.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “He’s reminding Kyllis that he has time to recover.”

 

Ash rolls onto his stomach and begins pushing himself onto his hands and knees.

 

Miento notices the movement and turns back toward him.

He drives the sole of his boot into the side of Kyllis’ head, knocking Ash back down.

 

Manda catches him by the wrist and pulls him upright before whipping him hard into the corner.

 

Kyllis strikes the turnbuckles.

 

Miento charges after him and connects with a crushing corner body avalanche.

Ash stumbles out of the corner, struggling to draw breath.

 

Manda catches him around the waist, lifts him off the canvas and drops him across his knee with a backbreaker.

Kyllis falls to the mat, clutching the base of his spine.

 

Simon Apple: “Boot to the head, corner avalanche and a backbreaker! Another combination from Miento!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “This is where Manda’s experience matters. He’s no longer chasing Ash around the ring. He’s keeping Kyllis trapped, controlling the distance and forcing him to carry Manda’s weight.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Exactly. Achilles may be fast, but speed is useless when you cannot breathe.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Ash Kyllis.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “He’s losing. I don’t think pronunciation is his biggest problem.”

 

Miento leaves Ash on the canvas and walks directly toward the ringside camera.

 

He points through the ropes at the lens.

 

“Look at this!” Miento shouts. “Look at what they gave me!”

 

He gestures dismissively toward the fallen Kyllis.

 

“This is supposed to be my match? A tryout against some rookie? I should be on the main card! I should be fighting for championships!”

 

Simon Apple: “Manda Miento is once again more interested in complaining about his position on the card than finishing this match.”

 

Manda grabs the top rope and leans closer to the camera.

 

“You tell the general manager this is beneath me!”

 

Behind him, Ash reaches one knee.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “He made this mistake at the opening bell.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Manda knows exactly where Kyllis is.”

 

Kyllis tries to rise, but Miento turns and charges before he can stand.

 

Manda drives a running big boot into Ash’s chest.

 

Kyllis is knocked backward into the ropes.

 

Miento pulls him away from them, lifts him into the air and holds him overhead in a military press.

 

Ash’s body is suspended above Manda’s head as the crowd reacts to the display of strength.

 

Miento takes several steps around the ring before dropping Kyllis chest-first onto the canvas.

 

Ash bounces from the impact.

 

Manda follows him down and drives a knee drop between his shoulder blades.

 

Simon Apple: “Running big boot, military press drop and a knee across the back! Manda Miento continues to punish Ash Kyllis!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Now we are seeing the difference between performing moves and controlling a match. Manda is dismantling this rookie piece by piece.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “But he keeps stopping to celebrate. That arrogance is giving Ash moments to recover.”

 

Miento sits beside Kyllis and looks out at the crowd.

 

He brushes his hands together as though cleaning dust from them.

 

Then he rises and places one boot on Ash’s back, striking another pose while the audience boos.

 

Miento flexes both arms and shouts toward the hard camera.

 

“This is your rookie?”

 

Ash’s fingers curl against the canvas.

 

Simon Apple: “Miento believes he has this match completely under control.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Believing it and proving it are two different things.”

 

Manda removes his boot and reaches down, dragging Ash upright by the wrist.

 

Kyllis suddenly fires a short forearm into Miento’s ribs.

 

Manda absorbs the strike and answers with a knee to the body.

 

Ash doubles over.

 

Miento follows with an open-handed strike across the chest, the sound echoing through the arena.

 

Kyllis staggers backward.

 

Manda grabs his arm, pulls him forward and drives another knee into his abdomen.

 

Before Ash can collapse, Miento moves behind him and secures a half nelson.

 

Simon Apple: “Miento has the half nelson! He could be looking for No Quarter!”

 

Ash reaches toward the ropes, but Manda pulls him away from them.

 

Miento lifts Kyllis and drives him face-first into the canvas.

 

THUD!

 

Simon Apple: “NO QUARTER! THE HALF-NELSON FACEBUSTER CONNECTS!”

 

Kyllis lies motionless, facedown on the mat.

 

Manda rolls him onto his back and sprawls across his chest, hooking the far leg with a satisfied grin.

The referee drops into position.

 

ONE!

 

Ash violently throws one shoulder off the canvas.

 

Miento is pushed partly off the cover by the force of the kickout.

 

The crowd erupts.

 

Simon Apple: “KICKOUT AT ONE!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Ash Kyllis just kicked out of No Quarter at one!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “No. No, that referee counted too slowly.”

 

Simon Apple: “There was barely time for him to count at all!”

 

Manda remains seated beside Ash.

 

His mouth hangs open as he looks toward the referee.

 

The official raises one finger.

 

Miento slowly turns his head back toward Kyllis.

 

Ash is lying on his back.

 

And he is laughing.

It is not loud. It is not joyful.

A low, breathless laugh escapes Ash as he stares up at Manda through half-open eyes.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Look at Kyllis.”

 

Simon Apple: “Ash Kyllis is laughing!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “There is something wrong with him.”

 

Manda’s shock turns to rage.

He lunges onto Kyllis, straddles his chest and begins raining punches down into his face.

 

Right hand.

Left hand.

Another right.

 

Ash attempts to cover up, but Miento tears one arm aside and continues striking.

 

Simon Apple: “Miento has snapped! He is unloading on Kyllis!”

 

The referee kneels beside them and orders Manda to stop using closed fists.

 

Miento ignores him.

 

Another punch lands.

 

The official grabs Manda around the shoulders and physically drags him off Kyllis before beginning a five-count.

 

Referee: “ONE! Back away!”

 

Manda tears himself free before the count can continue.

 

He turns toward the referee, chest-to-chest with the official.

 

Valerie Thomas: “The referee needs to keep his hands off Manda Miento!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “The referee just stopped Manda from getting himself disqualified.”

 

Miento shoves past the official and returns to Kyllis.

 

Ash has rolled onto his side and is trying to push himself upright.

 

Manda reaches down to grab him—

Kyllis explodes from his knees with a vicious uppercut.

CRACK!

Ash’s fist drives underneath Miento’s chin.

 

Manda’s head snaps backward so violently that his entire body recoils.

 

The crowd releases a collective gasp.

 

Simon Apple: “UPPERCUT! GOOD LORD, WHAT AN UPPERCUT!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “That looked like it knocked several teeth out of Manda Miento’s mouth!”

 

Miento staggers backward, both hands covering his jaw.

 

Ash remains on one knee.

His head hangs forward as his fingers press into the canvas.

 

Kyllis draws one deep breath.

Then another.

The crowd begins clapping in rhythm.

 

A close camera shot catches Miento removing one hand from his mouth.

 

Blood stains his lips and runs across his lower teeth.

He looks down at his palm and sees the red smeared across it.

 

His eyes widen.

 

Simon Apple: “Miento is bleeding from the mouth! That uppercut may have split his lip or damaged a tooth!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “That maniac could have broken his jaw!”

 

Kyllis looks up.

 

He sees the blood.

He does not care.

 

Ash rises from his knee and storms toward Miento.

 

Manda attempts to raise his hands, but Kyllis drives a forearm into the side of his face.

 

Miento staggers.

Ash strikes him again.

And again.

Each forearm lands harder than the last.

 

Simon Apple: “Kyllis is firing back! Forearm after forearm!”

 

Manda tries to answer with a wild right hand.

Ash knocks it aside and blasts him with another forearm.

 

Miento stumbles toward the centre of the ring.

Kyllis follows.

 

One forearm connects against the jaw.

A second crashes into the temple.

A third drives Miento down to one knee.

 

Ash stands over him, chest heaving.

 

For the first time in the match, Kyllis throws his head back and releases a primal scream.

The crowd roars with him.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Ash Kyllis has come alive!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Somebody stop him!”

 

Miento remains on one knee, dazed and bleeding from the mouth.

 

Ash suddenly runs past him.

 

Kyllis hits the ropes on the far side and rebounds.

 

He races past Miento a second time without attacking.

 

Ash reaches the opposite ropes and launches himself back across the ring at even greater speed.

 

Simon Apple: “Kyllis is building momentum!”

 

Manda tries to follow his movement, but Ash is already gone.

 

Kyllis crosses the ring again.

 

He hits the ropes for a third time.

The cables stretch violently against his back and launch him forward.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “No normal human being should be moving that fast at two hundred and thirty-eight pounds!”

 

Ash completes another full lap around the ring.

 

His boots strike the canvas in rapid succession, each step driving him faster.

 

Miento pushes himself halfway upright.

 

Kyllis comes racing directly toward him.

 

Ash leaps.

 

His knee crashes into Manda’s face.

CRACK!

Miento’s head snaps backward and his body collapses onto the canvas.

 

Simon Apple: “RUNNING KNEE! ALL OF THAT SPEED DRIVEN STRAIGHT INTO MIENTO’S FACE!”

 

Kyllis does not stop.

 

He lands beyond Manda and continues running toward the ropes.

 

Ash jumps directly onto the top rope, springboards backward and rotates into a moonsault.

As he descends, he twists his body and drives the point of his elbow into Miento’s chest.

 

BOOM!

 

Simon Apple: “MOONSAULT ELBOW DROP!”

 

The impact folds Miento around Ash’s arm.

 

Kyllis rolls through the landing without losing momentum.

 

He comes back onto his feet while maintaining his grip on Manda’s wrist.

 

Ash pulls sharply.

 

Miento is dragged from the canvas before he can understand what is happening.

Kyllis steps behind him and locks both arms around his waist.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “He hasn’t slowed down! Ash Kyllis has not stopped moving!”

 

Ash launches Manda backward with a snap release German suplex.

 

Miento flips through the air and crashes onto his shoulders.

 

Kyllis is already running before Manda has fully landed.

 

Ash rebounds from the ropes and charges back.

 

Miento rolls instinctively onto his knees.

 

Kyllis drives another running knee directly into his head.

CRACK!

The force launches Manda across the ring.

 

He tumbles over his shoulder, slides along the canvas and comes to rest near the opposite corner.

 

Simon Apple: “RAPID DESCENT! RAPID DESCENT SENDS MANDA MIENTO ACROSS THE RING!”

 

The audience rises to its feet.

 

Ash does not attempt a cover.

 

He storms toward the corner opposite Manda and turns around.

 

Kyllis lowers himself into a deep squat, one hand pressed against the canvas and the other resting across his knee.

 

His eyes lock onto Miento.

Ash’s expression is completely empty.

 

Manda lies beneath the opposite turnbuckles, blood still visible around his mouth. He slowly reaches for the ropes, unaware that Kyllis is waiting across the ring.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Look at Ash Kyllis.”

 

Kyllis remains perfectly still.

 

Watching.

Waiting.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “He is stalking Manda Miento like a lion watching wounded prey.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Manda needs to stay down.”

 

Simon Apple: “The Flawless Weapon has found his target.”

 

Miento begins pulling himself upright.

 

Ash does not blink.

 

Ash Kyllis remains crouched in the corner.

 

One hand rests against the canvas while his eyes remain locked on Manda Miento. Across the ring, Miento is slumped beneath the turnbuckles, blood visible across his lips after the uppercut and Rapid Descent.

 

Manda grips the middle rope and begins dragging himself upright.

Kyllis does not move.

 

Simon Apple: “Manda Miento has no idea what is waiting for him in the opposite corner.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Ash Kyllis has stopped moving again. We have seen this throughout the match. He can go from absolute stillness to terrifying speed without warning.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Manda needs to stay down. Regroup. Roll outside. Do anything except stand up in front of this man.”

 

Miento reaches one knee.

The crowd rises with him, not out of support, but anticipation.

 

Manda pulls himself onto both feet and turns toward the centre of the ring.

 

Ash rises from his crouch.

 

Kyllis draws one arm behind his head as though gripping the shaft of an invisible spear. His opposite hand points directly toward Miento.

 

For one silent moment, Ash takes aim.

 

Then he steps forward and violently hurls the imaginary spear across the ring.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “What was that?”

 

Ash immediately explodes out of the corner.

 

Simon Apple: “KYLLIS IS CHARGING!”

 

Miento raises his head just as Ash launches himself forward.

CRACK!

Kyllis drives his knee directly into Manda’s jaw.

 

Miento’s head snaps backward and his legs buckle beneath him—but Ash does not allow him to fall.

Kyllis catches Manda around the waist as his body collapses.

 

Simon Apple: “THE KNEE CONNECTS—BUT KYLLIS CAUGHT HIM!”

 

Ash tightens his grip and uses Miento’s falling momentum to swing him upward.

 

Manda is lifted onto Ash’s shoulders.

 

Kyllis adjusts his hands beneath Miento’s body and presses him even higher, holding the 242-pound powerhouse above his head in an elevated Last Ride position.

 

The crowd gasps at the display of strength.

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Look at the height! Ash Kyllis has Manda Miento above his head!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “Put him down!”

 

Ash stares forward.

 

Then he drops into a seated position and drives Miento into the canvas with a devastating elevated sit-out powerbomb.

 

BOOM!

The ring shakes beneath them.

 

Miento’s body folds from the impact as Kyllis traps both legs tightly against his chest.

 

Simon Apple: “STYXFALL! STYXFALL DRIVES MANDA MIENTO INTO THE CANVAS!”

 

The referee slides into position.

 

ONE!

 

Miento does not move.

 

TWO!

 

Ash tightens the cover.

 

THREE!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

The arena erupts.

 

Simon Apple: “ASH KYLLIS HAS WON HIS TRYOUT MATCH!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “What a performance! Speed, strength, resilience—and Ash Kyllis just defeated the far more experienced Manda Miento!”

 

Valerie Thomas: “After attacking him while he was speaking to a stagehand, surviving because of an absurd one-count and assaulting him with that uppercut!”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “You left out the part where Manda kicked him below the belt.”

 

The referee calls for Ash to release the cover.

 

Kyllis does not move.

 

He remains seated, keeping Manda’s body folded beneath him as the official repeatedly taps his shoulder.

 

“Let him go, Ash! The match is over!”

 

Ash looks down at Miento.

 

The referee grabs his wrist and attempts to pull him away.

 

After several tense seconds, Kyllis finally releases Manda’s legs.

Miento collapses flat onto the canvas.

 

Ash rises as the referee cautiously takes his arm and raises it.

 

Ash Kyllis wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: HERE IS YOUR WINNER.... THE FLAWLESS WEAPON.... ASH KYYYYYLLIS!

 

Kyllis’ smirk returns while the crowd chants his name.

 

“ASH KYLLIS!”

“ASH KYLLIS!”

“ASH KYLLIS!”

 

Simon Apple: “He entered this arena without a MAWL contract. After what we have witnessed tonight, management may have a very difficult decision to make.”

 

Valerie Thomas: “It should be an easy decision. Do not hire unstable people who refuse to release covers after the bell.”

 

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “That might eliminate half the roster.”

 

MATCH HIGHLIGHTS

The broadcast transitions into a rapid replay package.

The first replay shows the opening bell as Manda Miento leans over the ropes, shouting at the stagehand.

Ash races toward him and springs backward off the middle rope, driving his knee into Miento’s jaw and launching him across the ring.

Simon Apple: “Miento never saw the opening attack coming!”

The footage cuts to Kyllis running across the ring and launching himself over the top rope with the front-flipping springboard clothesline.

The next angle shows Ash standing on the barricade before rotating backward into the moonsault.

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “We were told Ash Kyllis was a power wrestler. In the opening minutes, he moved like a 238-pound luchador.”

Another replay shows Manda catching the running crossbody, only for Ash to twist free from the vertical suplex and drive him down with the Famouser.

The crowd’s chant echoes beneath the footage.

The highlights continue with Ash deadlifting Miento into the gutwrench slam, lifting him with one arm and planting him with the high-angle spinebuster.

The mood changes as the footage shows Manda grabbing the referee before delivering the unseen mule kick below the belt.

Valerie Thomas: “Veteran awareness.”

Ash Greaves-Orleans: “Blatant cheating.”

Manda’s period of control flashes across the screen: the corner avalanche, backbreaker, military press drop and No Quarter.

The replay slows as the referee counts one and Ash violently kicks out.

A close shot shows Kyllis laughing beneath the stunned Manda.

The next highlight shows Miento’s punches before the referee drags him away.

Ash rises from his knee with the vicious uppercut, sending blood spraying from Miento’s mouth.

The final sequence begins with Kyllis running repeated laps across the ring at impossible speed.

The knee strike connects.

The moonsault elbow drop follows.

Ash rolls through, drags Miento upright and launches him across the ring with Rapid Descent.

The footage ends with Kyllis throwing the imaginary spear before charging into the knee and lifting Miento high above his shoulders.

The Styxfall impact is shown from three different angles.

Simon Apple: “Speed became impact. Impact became power. And Styxfall ended the match.”

The broadcast returns to the ring.

Manda Miento has been rolled onto the arena floor, where two officials are helping him toward the entrance. Manda can barely remain upright. Blood still stains his mouth as he angrily pushes away one of the officials attempting to support him.

Inside the ring, Ash Kyllis stands beside announcer Sheri Orleans.

Sheri holds a microphone while Ash smiles at the chanting crowd.

Sheri Orleans: “Ash Achilles, congratulations on winning your MAWL tryout match—”

Ash turns toward her.

His smile tightens slightly.

He leans toward the microphone.

Ash Kyllis: “Ash Kyllis.”

Sheri pauses.

Sheri Orleans: “Kyllis.”

Ash Kyllis: “Kill-iss.”

Sheri Orleans: “Ash Kyllis.”

Ash’s relaxed smile returns.

He gives her an approving nod.

Sheri Orleans: “Ash Kyllis, congratulations on winning your tryout match. After a performance like that, do you believe you have done enough to earn a MAWL contract?”

Ash looks at Sheri for a moment.

He then turns toward the audience and walks into the centre of the ring.

Ash Kyllis: “I don’t know.”

The crowd quietens slightly.

Ash raises the microphone.

Ash Kyllis: “People—have I done enough?”

The response is immediate.

“YES!”

Ash tilts his head, encouraging them to become louder.

Ash Kyllis: “I said, have I done enough?”

“YES!”

“SIGN HIM!”

“SIGN HIM!”

“SIGN HIM!”

Ash looks toward the hard camera, grinning as the chant spreads throughout the arena.

Ash Kyllis: “Well, there you have it, MAWL general manager. The people want more Ash Kyllis.”

The crowd cheers again.

Ash turns and points toward the entrance.

The camera cuts to Manda Miento being helped along the ringside area. Manda hears his name and attempts to turn back toward the ring, but his legs nearly give way beneath him.

Ash Kyllis: “And only one vlákas—that means idiot—named Manda Miento doesn’t want to see me fight again.”

Miento angrily shouts something back from ringside, but the blood in his mouth makes the words difficult to understand.

Ash laughs.

Ash Kyllis: “I don’t care who you put in front of me.”

He begins pacing around the ring.

Ash Kyllis: “Humans. Demons. Monsters. Big, spooky bastards with bad teeth and glowing red eyes.”

The crowd reacts to each possibility.

Ash stops directly in front of the hard camera.

His expression becomes more intense.

Ash Kyllis: “Because once The Flawless Weapon has you in his sights…”

Ash raises his arm behind his head, once again gripping the invisible spear.

Ash Kyllis: “…you all fall into the Styx.”

He hurls the imaginary spear directly toward the camera.

 

The crowd erupts as Ash holds the pose.

 

Sheri steps beside him and raises the microphone.

 

Sheri Orleans: “Ash Kyllis has made his case—and judging from that reaction, the MAWL fans have delivered their verdict. We send it backstage!”

 

Ash remains in the centre of the ring, smiling as the crowd continues chanting his name.

 

“ASH KYLLIS!”

“ASH KYLLIS!”

“ASH KYLLIS!”

 

The camera holds on The Flawless Weapon for a moment before the camera goes backstage.

 

 

Veronica Vale catches up with Chanty backstage.

 

 

Veronica: Chanty! Chanty! 

 

Chanty takes her hat off and chuckles scornfully.

 

Chant...arelle: We won't be doing THAT anymore. It's Chantarelle. Honestly, I don't know how they convinced such a rare and luxurious beauty as myself to hide behind a novelty act. 

 

Veronica: What everyone wants to know... is why'd you do it?

 

Chantarelle: Why'd I do it. Why'd I...

 

She takes her eyepatch off.

 

Chantarelle: I was wearing THIS stupid thing for so long, I was blinded to a lot of things, one of which being how stupid your questions are. Okay. If I must.

 

She pulls out a compact and starts applying her makeup as she talks. 

 

Chantarelle: Why'd I do it. Well, let's see. I can either stay this children's party character in a team that makes no sense... how do you have a "brigade" with two people?... where they pair me up with slimy gross men or a woman trying to prove how not into herself she is by sitting for a rainbow hair dye job for multiple hours when she could stop hiding and just own it, while listening to some hack pirate song that they thought would be so fitting because a woman is singing on it. Who in the hell is Gloriana? I don't actually care. Or I can be sitting on yachts with women of my caliber, being fanned by men and women in tiny speedos while I drink cocktails with real gold leaf on the glass. Hm. What to do. What to do. Honestly. Is there anything that filters between here pointing to brain and here pointing to mouth?

 

Veronica: What do you plan on doing about Imogen now that you have returned to ZLI? 

 

Chantarelle: I plan to offer her the same reminder that Pau offered me. Remember who you are, remember how you owned your perfection. Remember that you're better than what this place writ large offers you. Honestly. We finally have a show in France and you pick the dingiest, grossest part of the shoreline to appeal to balding divorced dads with World War II fetishes. Our most romantic themed show and you don't go to Paris. You don't go to my beautiful home of Nice. You don't go to the Riviera. You go to a place that its most famous event until my reveal was a bunch of men in embarrassing olive green going the most boring kind of bang bang on the beach. I am so much better than this. I was the first Aries champion - that's right, I haven't forgotten what the belt was before you decided to Game of Thrones-ify it so you can sell it to little brats and college virgins with swords. Imm, you are better than this. So either join me or get stomped out like a cigarette under my stiletto. Which, actually, sounds more appealing than talking to the nepo baby of the help. If you'll excuse me.

 

Chantarelle shoulders past Veronica. Veronica shrugs as a transition swipe takes back to-

 

 

Simon: Chantarelle, apparently, has regressed.

 

 

Valerie: Is it "regressed" to remember your worth?

 

 

Ash: If you get there by pawning your better angels, then yes.

 

Valerie: Look Chanty tried to do it the "right way" and they made her a goofy pirate. You can't fault her for being done with that. 

 

Simon: Sure the pirate gimmick was a little silly, but at least it was more unique than "I'm a snotty rich girl." 

 

Valerie: If you consider that a gimmick. If you consider it being true to yourself, then I don't agree.

 

Ash: Anyway, we have Solemn Guardian and Dusty McGraw in the ring ready to square off. 

 

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall! 

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Sheri: In the ring! From Huntington, West Virginia, weighing in at 165 pounds, SOLEMN GUARDIAN! And from the Outback, weighing in at 253 pounds, The Outback Outlaw, DUSTY MCGRAW!!

 

The bell rings!

 

Simon: And here we go! Dusty McGraw and Solemn Guardian finally meet in the center of the ring!

 

Ash: Two heavy hitters. Two completely different philosophies.

 

Valerie: One fights with heart. The other... I'm not entirely convinced has one.

 

Dusty slowly circles, fists raised.

 

Solemn doesn't move.

 

He simply watches.

 

Simon: Dusty trying to find an opening—

 

SMACK!

 

Simon: Heavy forearm from Dusty!

..but Solemn barely flinches!

 

Ash: That's a statement shot... and it didn't seem to bother Solemn one bit.

 

Simon: Dusty fires another forearm!

 

THUD!

 

Simon: Solemn answers with one of his own!

 

CRACK!

Dusty stumbles back a step.

 

Valerie: That's a different level of power.

 

Simon: Dusty comes right back with a right hand! Another! Another! Solemn blocks the fourth... huge Ear Slap!!

 

SMACK!!

 

Ash: Good Lord!

 

Simon: Dusty's ears have to be ringing after that!

 

Solemn steps in.

 

Simon: Axe Kick!!

Dusty is in problems!

Solemn steps forward.

Hooks one massive arm around Dusty's waist.

Sidewalk Slam!!

 

BOOM!!

Dusty crashes violently onto his back.

 

Ash: That's not technique...

That's raw punishment.

 

Simon: Solemn doesn't even attempt a cover.

He simply stands over Dusty...

 

Dusty grits his teeth, rolls toward the ropes and pulls himself back up.

 

Simon: Dusty's refusing to stay down!

 

Dusty immediately lowers the shoulder—

BOOM!!

 

Simon: Running Shoulder Block!!

 

Solemn is driven back several steps but stays on his feet.

 

Ash: He didn't go down!

 

Simon: Dusty rebounds off the ropes again—

Another Shoulder Block!!

 

This time Solemn drops to one knee.

 

Valerie: That's the first crack we've seen.

 

Simon: Dusty wastes no time! Pulls Solemn back up—

But Solemn suddenly scoops him for a Body Slam!

And now he is looking to shut the momentum down—

NO!

Dusty slips behind!

Quick kick to the back of the knee!

Solemn drops just enough...

NECKBREAKER!!

 

Ash: Beautiful counter!

 

Simon: Dusty right back to work! Doesn't even think about a cover!

He drags Solemn up immediately.

Front facelock...

SNAP SUPLEX!!

 

Dusty rolls through to one knee, breathing heavily.

He looks down at Solemn... nodding to himself.

 

Simon: That's about as clean as you'll ever see a Snap Suplex.

 

Dusty turns toward the crowd for just a second.

The crowd cheers.

Then...

 

Ash: ...Oh

 

Simon: Wait...

 

Valerie: Damn…

 

Solemn slowly sits upright.

 

No expression.

No urgency.

 

He continues rising...

Without using the ropes.

Without taking his eyes off Dusty.

 

Simon: HE'S BACK UP!!

 

Ash: He didn't even looks affected a bit...

 

Valerie: Dusty just realized this isn't a man you beat with fundamentals.

 

Dusty stares for a brief second.

A faint grin spreads across his face.

 

Ash: Look at Dusty...

 

Simon: He's smiling!

 

Ash: That's the smile of a man who finally found a challenge.

 

Dusty motions with his hand.

"Come on."

 

Solemn silently accepts.

 

They meet in the middle again.

 

Simon: Forearm from Dusty!

 

CRACK!!

 

Simon: Forearm from Solemn!

 

THUD!!

 

Simon: Dusty answers!

Solemn answers right back!

Neither man gives an inch.

 

Valerie: This isn't wrestling anymore...

It's a test of who breaks first.

 

Simon: Dusty swings again...

Solemn ducks underneath...

Grabs the wrist...

Arm Drag!

But Dusty rolls through, instantly back to his feet!

RUNNING BULLDOG!!

 

Ash: Dusty caught him this time!

 

Dusty reaches down...

Looking to pull Solemn back up once again—

Solemn suddenly explodes upward.

 

Simon: He catches Dusty around the waist.

BACKBREAKER!

 

Ash: Dusty's entire body bends across Solemn's knee!

 

Solemn lets him hang there for few seconds...

Before shoving him off to the canvas.

Dusty rolls away instinctively, clutching his lower back.

 

Valerie: Every time Solemn lands something...

Dusty stays hurt a little longer.

 

Simon: Dusty is not done yet

He drags himself back to one knee...

 

Ash: A true fighter spirit

 

Valerie: Or a man with a death wish

 

Simon: Solemn is just waiting for him.

Dusty back to his feet... and they're wasting absolutely no time!

Dusty charges!

 

THUD!!

 

Simon: Running Lariat!

Solemn staggers backward!

Dusty immediately grabs hold!

Gutwrench Suplex!!

 

BOOM!!

 

Ash: Great elevation!

 

Simon: Dusty rolls back to his feet! Solemn trying to recover—

 

THWACK!!

 

Simon: BIG BOOT!!

Solemn finally crashes flat onto the canvas!

 

Ash: That's the cleanest Dusty's hit him all match!

 

Simon: Dusty knows this is his chance!

 

He points toward the second rope.

 

Simon: Dusty climbing...

SECOND ROPE ELBOW DROP!!

 

CRASH!!

 

Simon: Right across the heart!

Dusty hooks the leg!

 

 

Carter Vale: ONE!...

TWO!...

 

The referee's hand begins falling...

...when Solemn suddenly sits straight upright.

 

Dusty's eyes go wide.

He instinctively scoots backward across the mat.

 

Simon: HE SAT UP!!

 

Ash: No kick-out...

 

Valerie: He simply refused to stay down.

 

Solemn slowly turns his head toward Dusty.

Still expressionless.

Then rises to his feet.

 

Simon: Dusty has thrown everything at him...

 

Ash: ...and Solemn still looks like he's waiting for the real fight to begin.

 

Dusty shakes his head.

A smile.

 

Dusty: "Now we're talking."

 

The crowd cheers.

 

Simon: Dusty rushes in again!

Right hand!

 

THUD!!

 

Simon: Another!

Solemn answers with a heavy forearm!

CRACK!!

Dusty answers with one of his own!

Back and forth!

Neither man backing away!

Dusty off the ropes—

LARIAT!!

Solemn spins from the impact... but doesn't fall!

 

Ash: He ate it!

 

Simon: Dusty charges again—

Solemn explodes forward!

HEADBUT!!

Dusty is dizzy!

 

He instinctively retreats...

Right into the corner.

Then suddenly—

 

Simon: BODY AVALANCHE!!!

 

BOOOOOOOM!!!

 

Simon: Solemn launches his entire body into Dusty, crushing him against the turnbuckles.

 

Dusty's arms fall over the top rope as every bit of air leaves his lungs

 

ASH:
GOOD LORD!!

He just flattened him!

 

VALERIE:
You can hear Dusty gasping for air!

 

SIMON: Dusty stumbles forward out of the corner.

Barely able to remain standing.

Solemn grabs the back of his head.

Lifts him effortlessly.
SNAKE EYES!!

 

Dusty's face crashes across the top turnbuckle.

 

He stumbles backward blindly.

Completely dazed.

 

Solemn takes one explosive step.

 

Simon: THE RECKONING!!

LARIAT!!

Dusty is turned inside out!!

 

Valerie: There it is!

 

Ash: The Reckoning connects!

 

Solemn calmly rolls Dusty over.

Hooks the leg.

 

Carter Vale: ONE!...

TWO!...

 

Simon: Dusty kicks out!!

 

Ash: And now Solemn knows something...

 

Simon: What's that?

 

Ash: Dusty can survive Judgment.

 

Solemn stands without reacting.

 

Dusty crawls toward the ropes.

Solemn follows.

 

He grabs Dusty by the wrist.

Pulls him back to the center.

 

Simon: Solemn isn't letting him breathe.

Forearm Smash!

Dusty drops to one knee!

Another Forearm!

And Dusty falls to all fours!!

 

Solemn grabs him by the head...

 

Simon: Looking for another big shot—

But Dusty suddenly drives a shoulder into Solemn's ribs!

Once!

Twice!

Three times!

Dusty muscles him backward into the corner!

 

Ash: He's still fighting!

 

Simon: Dusty unloading now!

Right hands!

Body shots!

Forearms!

 

Carter Vale beginning the count!

 

Carter Vale: One!... Two!... Three!...

 

Dusty backs away.

Solemn steps out of the corner.

Both men breathing heavily.

 

Simon: This match is starting to take its toll.

Ash: And we're only halfway through.

 

Dusty wipes blood from the corner of his mouth.

Solemn adjusts his shoulders.

Neither man breaks eye contact.

 

Simon: They don't look tired...

They look determined.

 

Ash: Dusty's breathing hard... Solemn's still expressionless... but even he isn't moving quite as quickly anymore.

 

Simon: Dusty charges first!

 

THUD!!

 

Simon: Running forearm!

But Solemn barely stumbles!

Dusty immediately follows with another!

 

CRACK!!

 

Simon: Solemn answers with a Headbutt!!

 

SMACK!!

Dusty reels backward!

 

Simon: Solemn looking for a Chokeslam—

-NO!!

Dusty drives repeated elbows into the side of the head!

Breaks free!

Dust Storm Kick!!

 

SMACK!!

 

Simon: The sliding dropkick crashes into Solemn's knees!

Solemn drops to one knee!

 

Ash: That's exactly what Dusty needed! Take the big man off his base!

 

Simon: Dusty rebounds off the ropes—

-BOOMERANG BASH!!

The spinning discus clothesline catches Solemn flush!

For the first time... Solemn crashes flat onto his back.

 

Simon: Dusty can feel it!

 

He pulls Solemn back to his feet!

A deep roar echoes through the arena.

 

Simon: OUTBACK SLAM!!

 

The thunderous one-arm spinebuster shakes the ring.

Dusty hooks both legs!

 

Carter Vale: ONE!...

TWO!...

 

Simon: SOLEMN KICKS OUT!!

 

Ash: That was the closest anyone's come all night!

 

Dusty stays on his knees for a second... breathing heavily.

 

He looks toward the crowd.

The fans begin clapping.

Slowly.

Rhythmically.

 

Crowd: DUST-Y!

DUST-Y!

DUST-Y!

 

Simon: Listen to this crowd!

 

Ash: They believe!

 

Dusty nods to himself.

 

He pulls Solemn back up one more time.

Hooks the arm.

Drops behind him.

 

Simon: SOUTHERN CROSS LOCK!!

Dusty has it cinched in perfectly!

He wrenches back with everything he has!

But Solemn's face remains completely blank.

He doesn't scream or struggle.

He simply... endures.

 

Valerie: Pull harder!

 

Dusty plants both boots.

Pulls back even farther.

 

Ash: Solemn got nowhere to go!

 

Five long seconds pass.

The crowd grows louder.

 

Crowd: TAP!!

TAP!!

TAP!!

 

Dusty's entire body is shaking from the effort.

Sweat pouring.

Every muscle straining.

 

Simon: He's giving it everything he's got!

 

A long pause.

Then...

Solemn slowly places one palm against the canvas.

 

Ash: ...No...

 

He begins pushing upward.

Dusty's eyes widen.

 

Simon: WAIT A SECOND!!

 

One knee.

Then the other.

 

Still trapped in the hold.

 

Simon: HE'S GETTING UP!!

 

Ash: THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!

 

Dusty desperately tightens the submission.

Solemn keeps rising.

Until...

He's standing.

 

Completely upright.

 

Dusty still hanging from his back, refusing to let go.

 

Crowd: HOLY SHIT!

HOLY SHIT!

HOLY SHIT!

 

Valerie: That's not strength...

That's something else entirely.

 

Solemn reaches back with both hands.

Grabs Dusty by the wrists.

Rips the submission apart.

 

Simon: HE BROKE THE HOLD!!

And throws Dusty over his shoulder!!!

 

BOOM!!

 

Dusty crashes violently onto the canvas.

Rolling toward the ropes.

Barely moving.

 

Valerie: Dusty's empty.

 

Ash: He's got nothing left...

 

Simon: Solemn doesn't hesitate.

He grabs Dusty by the head.

Forces him back onto his feet.

Lifts.

Hooks an arm around his neck.

 

SIMON:
CONSOLATION!!!

 

BOOOOOOOM!!!

 

Simon: The Samoan Drop shakes the ring.

 

Dusty bounces off the mat.

 

Solemn calmly rolls him over.

Hooks the leg.

 

CARTER VALE:
ONE!...

TWO!...

THR—

 

SIMON: DUSTY KICKS OUT!!-

-NO WAY!!

 

Ash: HE SURVIVED!!

 

Valerie: I don't think even Solemn expected that...

 

Dusty slowly drags himself up using the ropes.

 

His legs barely hold him.

 

He looks across the ring.

Solemn is already waiting.

Dusty nods.

A tired grin crosses his face.

 

Dusty: "...One more."

 

He pushes off the ropes.

One final burst.

 

Simon: BUSHFIRE LARIAT!!

 

Dusty spins with everything he has left—

 

Simon: SOLEMN DUCKS!!

 

Dusty's momentum carries him past.

He catches himself against the ropes, barely able to remain standing.

 

Dusty  pushes himself away from the ropes.

Turns his face to Solemn

 

Simon: Solemn with a mid-section kick

Hooks the head...

THE LAST OPTION!!

 

SPIKE DDT!!

 

Ash: He planted him right on his head!!

 

Dusty lies completely motionless.

 

The arena falls silent.

 

Solemn slowly kneels beside him.

He hooks the far leg.

 

Carter Vale: ONE!...

TWO!...

THR-

 

Right before Carter’s hand drops for the three...

…Solemn suddenly reaches forward...

…Grabs Dusty by the head...

...and pulls him off the mat himself.

 

Simon: WHAT?!

 

Ash: HE JUST STOPPED HIS OWN PIN!!

 

Valerie: ...He isn't finished.

 

Dusty's body hangs limp in Solemn's grasp.

 

His eyes barely open.

 

Solemn looks directly into them.

 

Raises one finger.

 

Slowly waves it from side to side.

 

Solemn:..No…

...No…

...No…

 

Simon: He's refusing to let it end...

 

Ash: No...

 

Ash: He's delivering a sentence.

 

Simon: Solemn slowly forces Dusty back onto his feet…but

…Dusty's legs buckle immediately…

 

Ash: He's only standing because Solemn refuses to let him fall..

 

Valerie: Dusty doesn't even know where he is anymore...

 

Solemn keeps one hand on the back of Dusty's neck.

Looks him directly in the eyes one final time.

A whisper... inaudible

 

Simon: Solemn turns slowly…

HOLY PRECIPICE!!

 

STUNNER

 

Dusty folds backwards before collapsing flat to the canvas.

 

Solemn remains kneeling for a moment.

He slowly crawls beside Dusty.

And simply places one open hand across Dusty's chest.

His other hand rests on his own knee.

He never even looks at the referee.

 

Ash: One hand pin…

 

Carter Vale:

ONE!...

TWO!...

THREE!!

 

The bell rings!

 

Solemn Guardian wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner... SOLEMN... GUARDIAN!

 

Solemn slowly rises to his feet.

 

He looks down at Dusty for a long moment.

 

Then...

 

He turns.

 

And walks toward the entrance.

Without ever looking back.

 

Simon: Dusty McGraw gave everything he had tonight...

 

Ash: Every move... every ounce of strength... every last breath.

 

Simon: And in the end...

...it still wasn't enough.

 

Valerie: Solemn Guardian didn't just defeat Dusty McGraw...

…He judged him.

 

As Solemn Guardian exits the ring, some commotion heads down towards it. 

 

Simon: What in the hell do we have now? 

 

 

Ash: Riot Block are here! Riot Block descending on Dusty, who's been a thorn in Axel's side for some time now, and now the vultures see the pray.

 

Riot Block get towards the apron, on either side of it, and pop up onto it preparing to enter and attack.

 

Valerie: Dusty has nowhere to run, and also no energy to-

 

 

A hooded man in blue and white charges the ring. 

 

Valerie: Well this is new. 

 

The hood drops. 

 

Ash: I'd heard about this dude! We're in a whole new dynamic now!

 

 

Valerie: Who the hell is this??

 

Simon: Hakaru Takanashi!!!!! Hakaru has come to MAWL!!! Running Dropsault to Trevor DeMartin, coming down and blasts Trevor with a roundhouse before he lands! Continuing to run, leap up...

Poison Rana takes Axel out of the ring!!

He's got his eyes on Tribal Chief... taking the run....

LEAP OVER THE TURNBUCKLE

SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB!!!! THE WARRIOR'S HEART!!!

 

Riot Block retreats, backing away angrily staring the ring down as Hakaru Takanashi looks over the rope.

 

Ash: Hakaru takes out Riot Block on his own!

 

Valerie: They'll be ready for him next time. 

 

Simon: Well, he'll have Dusty McGraw in his corner I imagine after this. Dusty is a rough n tumble man and may not be big on the squishy feelings, but he never forgets a favor. 

 

Ash: He also never drops a grudge. Dusty and Axel had it out for each other back from when Dusty assumed that Johnny Rivé was going to have his back, only to see Johnny back Axel. The side characters may be new, but the hatred lingers on.

 

Simon: Well the good thing about the Heart Condition arena is it needs to be able to fit four rings for our signature match, so another ring is already set up for our next match which promises to be-

 

Valerie: Don't you dare.

 

Simon: Explosive.

Valerie: This. This is why all your colleagues break bad.

 

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall! 

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Sheri: And is an Explosive Barbed Wire Match!

 

 

Backstage Gav tending his sheep. He descends from the high South Wales valleys, he can hear Joe Hendry singing in the back ground ‘Say his name and he appears, we believe in Welsh Gav’ He stares down his opponent. Puts on his luche libre mask decked out in the Welsh flag 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿to turn in to  DEDO APESTOSO DE LA MUERTE.

 

 

Sheri: First! From Cardiff, Wales, weighing in at 269 pounds, DEDO! APESTOSO! DE LA MUEEEEEEERTE!

 

He points at the ring as he does the Funky Chicken. The crowd chants ‘chicken, Chicken, CHICKEN!!!!!

 

Simon: Dedo is just here for the love of the fight, doesn't care that there's no title to be won, just violence for violence sake. 

 

Valerie: That's not special for him, that's the set up of this whole match. One thing for sure... this is gonna hurt like hell. 

 

 

Crash Course comes stomping out.

 

 

Sheri: From Detroit, Michigan, weighing in at 211 pounds, CRASH COURSE CRAIG CONVERY!

 

He runs down headfirst, not paying attention at all. 

 

Ash: I've been watching this psycho for several years and I always twitch just a little bit when he gets in the ring. 

 

The lights flicker, fog surrounds the arena and then the lights go out.

 

Simon: I twitch just a little bit when that happens.

 

Valerie: You're both cowards.

 

 

As the fans wait with anticipation the lights flicker once and come back on with Aggie standing in the center of the ring.

 

 

Sheri: From Parts Unknown, weighing at 310 pounds, Aggie the Clown Prince of Hell!

 

As he raises his hands up and thrusts them down one electrical bolt flashes across the upper part of the arena and he laughs demonically staring across the ring.

 

Ash: That's one way to avoid the ropes. 

 

Valerie: The explosives haven't even been armed yet.

 

Ash: Yeah but there's still barbed wire shut up. 

 

 

Explosions happen along the ramp, causing staggered plumes of fire.

 

 

 Landmime mimes pressing a button and explosions happen all around him on stage. Landmime walks out marching and miming a spinning rifle.

 

Sheri: AND! From Versailles, weighing in at 209 pounds, LANDMIME!

 

He salutes the crowd as he walks down to the ring.

 

Valerie: We in GHW are well acquainted with Landmime, and will be right at home in this match.

 

Simon: See, I'd understand why he's a mime if he got his tongue blown off or something but what...what is this.

 

Landmime marches to the ring, again "holding" a "rifle." He enters the ring and stands at attention until the bell rings.

 

A beeping sound signifies that the explosives are armed now. 

 

Valerie: Four of the most insane fighters in a ring that has bombs and tables and all sorts of happy nonsense. Aggie with a belly to belly to Dedo, Dedo bounces and Crash Course charges him right into the ropes! 

 

BANG CRASH! BOOM!

 

Ash: First fireworks going off! Dedo entangled, Landmime boots him further into the barbs. Aggie leapfrogs Landmime and Tiger Knee to Dedo Convery with a floatover neckbreaker to Aggie! 

 

Simon: This lands Convery outside the ring, but he seems perfectly fine with that, grabs Mime by the shirt collar and dragging him across the barbed wire, right to the corner, and that's probably the smartest point of entry, Convery leaps in with a body splash OH Aggie catches him out, going for a running powerslam and looking for a landing point...oh! A glass pane leaning against the catercorner corner, that'll do it!

 

SHATTER!

 

Valerie: SMASHING!!

 

Ash: Dedo from almost outta nowhere and a Hex Effect Running Corkscrew Splash to Aggie! Aggie staggers forward, catches himself before hitting the wires, catching Landmime in a running bulldog attempt and FLAPJACK into the ropes!!

 

BANG! BOOM!!

 

Simon: That literally blew up in his face!

 

Valerie: Okay, fine.

 

Ash: Dedo with a running Fameasser pushing Landmime's face even further! It's sunk into the wires OH DANG there's more firepower down there!

 

BANG! BOOM!!!

 

Simon: He would scream if he weren't so committed to the bit. Dedo on the outside, Penalty Kick to Landmime!! Crash Course using Landmime as a ramp, the run-up and a front dropkick blasting Dedo off the apron! 

 

Valerie: Gotta give it to Convery, he's looking more dialed in than usual and not just running rabid. Going under the ring, pulls out a light tube, right across the ribs of Dedo!! 

 

Ash: That leaves Aggie alone with Landmime, if he gets Landmime out of the barb entanglement, ohhhh he's just ripping him out and scraping him up along the way! German Suplex! Getting him up and going for a 90 degree turn... going running and Powerbomb Toss! Those wires weren't used and Landmime takes the explosion again, he's basically back to where he started. Hand in mouth, it's the Last Laugh!! He's doing it Dentist Style!!

 

Simon: That cackle is truly disturbing, and Landmime trying to flail but it's entangling him further, Convery with a hockey stick, uppercuts Aggie off that hold! Convery springboarding and OH looks like that was unexploded!

 

BANG BOOM!

 

Valerie: Not anymore it's not! Convery blown back a bit. Dedo sliding a table into the ring, looking under the ring for some more goodies, finds a bag, and launches that into the ring.

 

Simon: Aggie sets up the table, and the bag of tacks... oh, those aren't tacks.... those are squibs!! Gently laid out on the table... Landmime still stuck in the wires, Aggie yanks him out with quick force, pulls him up and to the top we go... he's looking for that Hades' Fury, Landmime in his grasp...

DEDO PUSHES THEM BOTH INTO THE EXPLOSIVE TABLE!!!

 

Ash: Dedo to the top rope! Corkscrew Moonsault and the cover!!!

 

 

Vanya: ONE! TWO!

 

Simon: Why'd Dedo let go, oh he rolls out of the way Convery in with the Bad Idea 450 and landing straight on Aggie and Landmime! 

 

Vanya: ONE! 

 

Ash: Dedo yanks Convery off! Back Body Drop From The Valleys and Convery grazes the Barbed Wire on the way out!! Grabbing Aggie up and Implant DDT de la Muerte! HE'S HERDING THEM LIKE SHEEP!

 

Simon: Dedo gets Landmime over his head... looking around... oh we still have broken glass from that pane, looks appealing....gorilla press on its way!

 

Landmime: ~Putain~

 

Simon: WELSH PRESS ONTO THE GLASS!!! The cover!

 

Vanya: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Dedo Apestoso de la Muerte wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner....DEDO! APESTOSO! DEEEEE LA MUERTE!!!!

 

Dedo holds his hand up, barely, as Vanya raises it. 

 

Simon: High octane. High destruction. Highly chaotic. And Dedo's sprint at the end, a thing of legend. 

 

Valerie: The sheep will be singing of it for years.

 

Ash: Rude.

 

Valerie: When they make The Sheep Detectives 2, this will be the opening scene. 

 

Simon: Speaking of bad jokes, we move on to our next match.

 

 

Sheri: The following contest is a Mr. Flamethrower Match! The match will be won when one competitor unlatches the Flamethrower and sets their opponent on fire!

 

 

Smiley faces bounce around the arena. Mr. Happy walks out waving.

 

 

Sheri: FIRST! From the Jasmine St. Clare Monster Corporation Compound, weighing in excess of 300 pounds.... MR. HAPPY!!!

 

Mr. Happy continues to wave and clap as he waves down the crowd. 

 

Simon: Who knows what actually sits behind that disturbingly serene mask? 

 

Ash: Chaos. Chaos. And more chaos. 

 

Valerie: Well it certainly isn't brains.

 

 

The countdown from the song takes off. When it reaches 0, a "rocket door" opens and out comes Mr. Blobby.

 

 

Sheri: And his opponent, from Crinkly Bottom, weighing whatever your hopes and dreams weigh, MR. BLOBBY!

 

Mr. Blobby waddles and waves, making scare faces at the audience on his way down.

 

Ash: Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. 

 

Simon: I don't know how Dusty Rhodes' hemorrhoid outlived him or how it grew to 7 feet, but I absolutely hate everything about this. 

 

Mr. Blobby steps over the ropes. Mr. Happy immediately unloads on him and the bell rings. 

 

Valerie: Happy with the brutal series of chops, Irish Whip to Blobby, trying to catch him on the rebound but Blobby cuts it off and a flapjack just TOSSING the big man like a pizza pie! And he's clearly pretty amused by that, the ring shakes on Happy's descent to the ground. 

 

Ash: It was like a meteor hitting Earth. Someone check on Dinah Soar.

 

Simon: Blobby pulls Mr. Happy up by the mask, devastating back suplex and Happy lands on his head! I don't know what kinda wrestling academies they have in Crinkly Bottom, but Blobby clearly came into this prepared, as Happy rolls out of the ring. 

 

Valerie: Whatever Happy gets is completely in bounds, the only way to win is to set your opponent on fire with that blowtorch.

 

Ash: He has to get up first.

 

Valerie: True.

 

Simon: Blobby clapping, taking a run TOPE CON HILO!!! Hopping around clapping, and he slaps Happy on both sides of his face! 

 

Ash: I don't know if he thinks that's what clap those cheeks means but he's just trying to embarrass him now. 

 

Valerie: It's not that hard to do. He did it to himself walking out in that Five Below Gimp Mask. 

 

Simon: Blobby going for it again, Happy blocks his hands and rocks him with a headbutt! BIG Belly to Belly just folds Blobby like a brochure! Happy yanks Blobby up and ripcord clothesline! Quick snap suplex and Blobby is looking more and more like his name. 

 

Ash: NOW Happy can go under the apron and find something that makes him truly happy... he pulls out...a Mr. Blobby action figure? What does he possibly plan on HE JABS BLOBBY IN THE EYE WITH IT! Blobby staggers back, Pele Kick by Happy! Blobby holding on to the barricade.... Happy charges and a running splash sends them both over! These big men can move!

 

Valerie: Kinda seems like they're going to burn themselves out quickly. They'll be out of breath before they even get fully up the ladder to get that torch. 

 

Simon: Trading fists on the other side of the low wall, Mr. Happy deciding he's done waiting his turn and a stiff punch combo, Blobby stumbling back a little, Happy gets the high knee, going for the legs and an Alabama Slam onto the barricade! Blobby bends the opposite way from what he's supposed to! Happy makes it even worse, he's going for those mounted punches.

 

Ash: I don't know if he thinks that's what broke back mountin' means, but it certainly looks painful. Happy with a push up and splashes down on Blobby! Going for another, Blobby moves out of the way!!! Happy draped over!!! Blobby grabs a camera, smashes it over the head of Happy! 

 

Valerie: We've got plenty of cameras to spare. Blobby running back... charging with a boot to the head of Happy! Happy now in a real place of struggle, as he collapses off the barricade. Blobby has this well in hand. 

 

Simon: I wouldn't count Happy out just yet. He has a ton of in ring experience that Blobby just doesn't. Blobby showing that in running around now, doing jumping jacks, this is not professional competitor behavior and worst of all for Blobby he's got his back turned to Happy and Happy grabs him by his...him, I guess... and launching him headfirst into the steps! 

 

Ash: The size of the man launched, the steps don't just shake, they fly apart. Happy picks one half up with one hand, gets the other with the other... and he's about to clap the cheeks right back on Happy! 

 

The steel collides with both sides of Blobby's face. 

 

Valerie: Blobby down! Also that doesn't mean AT ALL what you think it means. But Happy yanks Blobby up, ripcords him right onto the bottom half of the steps with the Black Hole Slam!!! 

 

Simon: This would be a good time to get the ladder, and it looks like Happy agrees. Happy slides the ladder into the ring, but this is where the experience favors Happy, he checks to make sure that Blobby isn't moving before starting the climb, another Black Hole Slam just to make truly sure. 

 

Ash: Setting up the ladder, being the one to unhook the flamethrower, it's only half the battle, the second half is using it... but you can't have the second half without the first half. Happy beginning the climb now.

 

Valerie: Oh, but Blobby is stirring! Happy's gonna wanna pick up some speed, Blobby to his feet, to the apron... he's seeming to be getting more speed going than Happy, Blobby climbs the turnbuckle BRUTUS BALL INTO THE LADDER!!! HAPPY GOES DOWN!!!

 

Simon: Blobby scoops Happy up... POWERBOMB ONTO THE LADDER!!! Gonna be real hard to use that ladder with any stability if that's how you treat it. Blobby to the corner, headbanging a little... this might be what they're calling the Blobberknocker! Superman Punch meets Glasgow Kiss and just waiting for his Quarry now... 

 

Ash: Happy to his feet, here comes Blobby charging Happy catches him out! Uranage Backbreaker!! Scoops him up and a Spinebuster! Blobby rolls out of the ring, Happy uses the ladder and picking up steam this time, which is good as it is a bit more wobbly, hands on the Flamethrower and he unlatches it fairly easily but Blobby is back in and shotgun dropkick to the ladder! Happy faceplants! 

 

Valerie: The momentum is a bit much though, Blobby can't get his hands on the Flamethrower before it falls out of the ring. Once again turning his back to Happy as he heads to go out of the ring, Happy to his feet and he's got the ladder like a bat!!!

 

Simon: OH! THAT'S A HOME RUN IMPACT! HE JUST KNOCKED MR. BLOBBY'S CONSCIOUSNESS OUT OF THE PARK! Laying the ladder on the ropes...he pulls Blobby up! Up on the shoulders.... he's using the ladder as a ramp.... 180 SAMOAN DROP THROUGH THE DAMN FINNISH ANNOUNCERS' TABLE!!!

 

Crowd: This is awesome!!! This is awesome!!!

 

Ash: We haven't even gotten to the main card yet! But that table is FINNISHED! 

 

Simon: Speaking of finished, Happy has the Blowtorch! And HERE WE GO....BURNS THE BLOB!!!

 

Mr. Happy wins by Flamethrower!