FEBRUARY 6, 2026
PARTS UNKNOWN
FORMER wXw ARENA

 

WE ARE LIVE!

 

In the greatest place in the world!

 

Parts Unknown!

 

for a special Pay Per View.

 

I shall allow SM HeartBreaker to explain..

 

 

SM: Hello loyal MAWL fans.

 

SM HeartBreaker is sat behind a desk in an office. The desk has something on that is covered by a sheet.

 

 

SM: We interrupt your weekly broadcast of MAWL Madness to bring you a special one of a kind surprise Pay Per View.

 

SM HeartBreaker opens a draw next to him and pulls out some files. The files say "Top Secret".

 

SM: You see, after successfully suing MAWL for reckless endangerment, emotional and physical harm, breach of contract and a whole bunch of things. As part of the compensation, I am allowed to occupy one single MAWL Madness television spot and use the air time to fund my own special show. A show funded by me.

 

Likely using the money he sued from MAWL...

 

SM: And all the profits will go to a project close to my heart.

 

SM HeartBreaker pulls off the sheet to reveal a building made of Lego.

 

SM: This special Pay Per View's profits will go directly into this special project. Right here in Parts Unknown. I will use the profits to fund a special Academy called "Deck Of Hearts Academy for people who can't read good but wanna learn how to wrestle good."

 

The little Lego sign says that entire sentence.

 

SM: Or The Deck of Hearts Academy for short.

 

Deck of Hearts is expanding.

 

SM: This Academy will be the greatest wrestling academy in the world. Not just Parts Unknown. One Million times better than that Myers Dojo that exists in Parts Unknown already.

 

Cheeky Foreshadowing by SM HeartBreaker.

 

SM: A dream of mine which will be achieved by this very show. A show that I have specifically booked myself, with zero help from anyone else. All of these matches and match types were all my ideas. Every detail is 100% SM HeartBreaker. Including the name I came up with all on my own.

 

SM HeartBreaker takes a piece of paper out of the "Top Secret File" and grabs a crayon to write over the top of it to reveal the name.

 

SM: Forbidden DOH.

 

Without a doubt someone somewhere is going to steal this name, add a letter and change a letter.

 

SM: And this whole event will be in my home town. The greatest place in the World. Parts Unknown!

 

POPMania can be heard from the crowd in attendance, since SM HeartBreaker is somehow loved in Parts Unknown, maybe because he only sold tickets to Parts Unknown residents.

 

SM: Since I am putting my reputation and prestigious name on this show. I will be making sure my proteges will be leading the line and representing me in every match. Yes, that is right. Every match will contain atleast one Deck of Hearts member. Which means only one thing? Deck of Hearts will win every single match on tonights show. No exceptions. The great people of Parts Unknown will be cheering so much that they will get tired of Deck of Hearts winning and then we will give them even more Deck of Hearts wins! All the way to the main event. Because I promise you. This will be the best show you have ever watched. Do you want to know the card?

 

Rhetorical question, SM HeartBreaker is going to tell you anyway.

 

SM: The first match I wanted to book is all about business. Because there is a small little group of little girls that have been running around, opening their mouths and decided to talk about me.

 

SM HeartBreaker points directly at the camera.

 

SM: I am talking about you Jassy. I am tired of your school girl style gossip. Your bad mouthing of an elite group in the form of Deck of Hearts but most of all, I am tired of you pretending that you are nothing but eye candy for Psycho Supremacy.

 

That insult is gonna sting.

 

SM: Jassy. You pick your best two members of your girl group Sex Appeal and I will send you two of my best in CON and Jen Teal, who will wipe the floor with you and your group once and for all.

 

SM HeartBreaker starts reading the paper on his desk as its obviously he doesnt remember what the Forbidden DOH card is.

 

SM: Next, Using my power and influence, there will be a championship match. For the Ether Championship. As Wildfire will be issue an open challenge.

 

There is many questions on how SM HeartBreaker has managed to book this. All those questions will not be answered.

 

SM: And do you know what SM stands for? SM HeartBreaker pauses for dramatic effect.

 

SM: Spoiler man. Because I have a spoiler for you. I have hand picked a member of Deck of Hearts to answer it immediately, in the form of the deserving, Utterly Vile.

 

How is it an Open Challenge if SM HeartBreaker has rigged it so UV gets the title shot? Welcome to an SM HeartBreaker booked show.

 

SM: Next. I have a question for you. Yes you. MAWL Fans...

 

It is like SM HeartBreaker is talking inside your head.

 

SM: What is your favourite match type? Is it hardcore style death matches?

 

Yes! Yes! Yes!

 

SM: Is it 60 minute iron man matches?

 

Sí! Sí! Sí!

 

SM: Is it high flying ladder matches?

 

Oui! Oui! Oui!

 

SM: Nah, not me. I have booked not one, not two, but THREE! Monsters in everyone's favourite match type.

 

We have questions on why this is SM HeartBreaker's favourite match type? Or the favourite match type of whoever wrote SM's script? Either way, you won't get those questions answered here.

 

SM: Three big meaty men slapping meat.

 

MEATMania is going to run wild tonight at Forbidden DOH!

 

SM: One monster! Two Monster! Three Monster! MAWL! Three killers slapping eachother's meat until they are tender and they have nothing left. But SM. I hear you cry.

 

Absolutely no one. No one. Can be heard speaking or crying other than SM HeartBreaker.

 

SM: Which three monsters have you booked?! Oh I don't know. Only just Mr Happy, who is only too happy to slap to get his meat slapped. My nemesis, Gozu, who is a master at slapping that meat and you guessed it. There is only one member of Deck of Hearts who can be in this match. How can you have a Violent match without. Violent.

 

SM HeartBreaker smiles as the next two matches are ones close to his Heart.

 

SM: Then, we have two matches. Hand picked by me to take care of Business. Two matches that will have exactly the same result. The women of Deck of Hearts winning. Firstly we have Rox Starr, ending the slander and rumours that I may had stole some of his ideas

 

Like the Pay Per View name...

 

SM: Facing off against Aztec. Who is still trying his best to get another one on one match against me. Fortunately for me, Rox Starr is going to end the threat that is Aztec once and for all. Rox Starr is going to progress her career and potentially take her place as my left hand woman, when she defeats Aztec.

 

SM HeartBreaker raises his right hand.

 

SM: As for my right hand woman, Diana Dresden. She will be putting down a certain bloodline that has become a pain in both mine and Diana's ass recently. Yes. Manta Ray's less famous cousin. Sting Ray Steve Thunder will go one on one against the 2nd in command of Deck of Hearts as she finally rids this company of this toxic bloodline. Now on to the main event...

 

Utterly Vile comes into shot and whispers something into SM HeartBreaker's ear and hands him a note. 

 

 

SM HeartBreaker eyes widen in confusion.

 

SM: Who the meow is Cole?!

 

Utterly Vile whispers something in SM HeartBreaker's ear as SM HeartBreaker shakes his head.

 

SM: Apparently I missed out a match. Apparently, at the bottom of this piece of paper is a match I forgot that I booked. The match includes.

 

SM HeartBreaker doesn't pause for dramatic effect. More for the disbelief that he has no idea who this guy is.

 

SM: It will be every member of Zora Luthor International and I mean EVERY member. No exceptions. Against...

 

SM HeartBreaker shouts at the Deck of Hearts who are standing just off screen.

 

SM: You sure this isn't a typo? I have no idea who the meow this guy is.

 

Violent's thumb can be seen coming into the shot as he signals to SM HeartBreaker it is correct.

 

SM: Against... Cole.

 

POPMania can be heard from behind the camera off screen as SM HeartBreaker grabs his phone.

 

SM: But now for the main event. Its the match you all wanted. It is why you all brought the Pay Per View for. It is me, SM HeartBreaker in the main event. Defending MY Inferno Championship against.

 

SM HeartBreaker opens up his contacts on his phone before typing a text saying "Fight me at my old arena in Parts Unknown."

 

SM: Anybody. At Random. In my contact list. It could be anybody that I have worked with in the past. It could be someone retired like Cartwright. Scott Razor. Sam Haze.

 

Clearly SM HeartBreaker doesn't watch other Wrestling shows.

 

SM: It could be an old friend or an old enemy. It could even be someone from a rival fed that I havent spoken to in years. It doesn't matter. Because when SM HeartBreaker sends you a text. You come running. Because that's how important I am to this business. Rox, come here and pick someone out at random from my contacts.

 

 

Rox Starr steps into view and grabs SM HeartBreaker's phone and sends the message. Rox Starr hands SM HeartBreaker his phone but SM HeartBreaker doesn't look at it and throws it out of a window.

 

 

Fireworks go off as Anamanguchi "MEOW" plays over the loudspeakers. 

 

 

Simon: We're here in... well, I'm not sure. I never heard of a place called Parts Unknown, in what would have been the former wXw arena-

 

 

Dean: Well, former, still, It don't matter bud, I think you're in my brother's seat. Which, to me is hilarious but he takes it a little more serious and you don't want him moping.

 

 

Sam: I don't mope.

 

Dean: If this here were Snow White, You would be the 8th Dwarf, Mopey.

 

Simon: ... Don't they already have a Grumpy? Also, didn't you two get taken off the air when-

 

Sam: Well we're back now.

 

Dean: Popular demand, baby!

 

 

Charlie: If it were that popular, you'd be calling xWx. SM graciously asked us to come back for old times' sake. 

 

Sam: Us? 

 

Dean: You're new to this, so I'll let the name slip pass this time. 

 

Charlie: I am new. Maybe with my actual charisma, they won't take you off the air after this. Maybe they'll actually consider opening this up again. 

 

Sam: How do we know you're not here for some nefarious purpose, like trying to join Deck of Hearts.

 

Charlie: If I were, I'd still make sure to do an actual good job of this. 

 

Sam: Alright well, with that, let's get to the fights then.

 

 

Ryan Reynolds: So, they needed some star power here I see to do this. SM, you're lucky you're a sexy son of a bitch. Alright. What am I doing? Right. The following 2 on 2 action is scheduled for one fall.

 

Crowd: One fall! 

 

 

The hi-hats and synth kick in, and lasers emanate from the entrance way in rotating colors that gradually form a giant eye. As the eye grows, Lazer and Iris Correa strut out from the "eyeball" to boos.

 

 

Ryan: These absolute brunette bombshells are from Sex Appeal - yeah you are ladies - and the call themself Lazer and The Eye Candy Iris Correa, I call them I hope Blake isn't watching this, they are LAZIK!

 

The laser show fills the entire arena as they strut almost Fabulous Freebird style to the ring. The crowd hates them.

 

Dean: Clearly the Eyes don't have it in this arena, wouldn't you say Sam?

 

Sam: They certainly aren't getting the warm reaction they feel they deserve.

 

Dean: And neither is my joke.

 

Charlie: Oh is that what that was. 

 

They get to the ring and the rainbows shoot up to the corner from the spaceship rising guitar riff. The lasers die out and the arena goes dark, and then gray with a hint of teal as the metal door clank emanates through the arena.

 

 

The guitar and drum riffs kick in and the crowd pops as CON and Jen Teal come charging down the ramp. 

 

 

Ryan: And their opponents! Representing your heroes Deck of Hearts... a "criminal" whose most major crime is shoplifting all the got2b Glued from his local Walmart-

 

The crowd laughs at THIS one.

 

Dean: Oh but THAT joke lands.

 

Ryan: - and a woman whose felony is fashion, that color does not work for you AT ALL - CON and Jen Teal - TEAL AND STEAL!

 

CON and Jen roll into the ring to cheers. The bell rings!

 

Sam: Jen and Iris to start, test of strength and Jen overpowers, fisherman suplex and going for the quick cover.

 

 

Ned: ONE! 

 

Sam: Iris kicks, she comes off the ropes and snap DDT to Jen. Keeps the headlock on, tag to Lazer and Lazer to the top, mushroom stomp to the back. 

 

Dean: She really lays-'er out there! 

 

Charlie: Oh no. What did I walk into.

 

Sam: Deadlift German Suplex and the cover-

 

Ned: ONE! 

 

Dean: Jen makes like Bizkit and is rollin', rollin' out of that pin. Reachin' for her beau, oh no Lazer pulls her back again and a Wheelbarrow German Suplex!! 

 

Charlie: Sex Appeal is showing this crowd what teamwork looks like, tag back in to Iris, Iris takes a run and going for the leap, looking for the Eye Drop JEN CATCHES HER INTO A POWERBOMB!! PRAWN ROLL!! 

 

Ned: ONE!

 

Sam: Iris reverses right into a Code Red and a pin-

 

Ned: ONE! TWO!

 

Dean: Tried it but she could not Do the Dew! Jen kicks and reaching out for a tag... CON reaching out... Iris pulls her back into a Crab JEN PULLS THE LEGS DOWN AND A PLAY ON THE DEVIL'S KISS!

 

Charlie: That is a hell of a Kegel exercise.

 

Sam: Reaching for the tag, Iris regains a hold on the leg and yanks Jen back, tag into Lazer, Lazer stomps out the back of Jen's knee! 

 

Charlie: The Appeal is too strong! 

 

Sam: Lazer grabs the ankle from Iris and slams Jen's knee into the mat! Another lift, she goes again! Jen desperately crawling to her corner, Lazer with a huge knee smash and she's pulling that leg up!

 

Dean: She's hangin her over the shoulder like a prayer shawl! She could call this Hava Ga-KNEE-Lah! 

 

Charlie: Jen trying to use that upper core to do some crunches, get her body up, will those planking classes pay off SHE GETS THE TAG TO CON! CON RUNS IRIS DOWN WITH A FOREARM SHOT! CON RUNS LAZER DOWN WITH A KNEE! DROPKICK TAKES IRIS OFF THE APRON! 

 

Sam: CON with the elevated Full Nelson!! He's got the Resisting Arrest locked on Lazer! She looks like she might be in trouble for the first time OH and Iris runs in with a Chop Block!! Lazer able to parlay it into an Operation Dragon! And the cover-

 

Ned: ONE! T-

 

Dean: She flipped the script on him! But he kicks.

 

Sam: And a drop toe hold by CON, and he's able to lock it into an STF. Lazer has a ways to go to get to the rope, CON pulls her back and makes it a much longer trip.

 

Charlie: Iris perfectly aims that basement dropkick! CON eats shoe like the bootlicker he is! 

 

Sam: Lazer freed up, she's reaching for the rope but CON ripcords her into that short arm lariat! Commonly known as a Rainmaker, he calls that his CONDENSATION! But exhaustion is clearly setting in.

 

Dean: Both of them absolutely flattened!! The Condensation has created a Puddle in the ring! 

 

Charlie: If they're smart, they'll crawl their asses over to-

 

The lights go out. When they come back on, both CON and Lazer have made it to their respective corners... but Jen Teal is nowhere to be found. 

 

Sam: Where did Jen Teal go?? 

 

Charlie: This is the perfect time for Sex Appeal to Divide and Conquer! Lazer tags in, Iris in the corner, she's directing Lazer over to CON! 

 

Sam: Lazer sticks her thumbs in CON'S eyes! She's holding his head down... this could be.... yes, Iris lining up and NAILS that Penalty Kick! P Ki-Boo!!! Iris with the roll-up...

 

Ned: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Iris Correa wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Ryan: Here are your winners, both in the match and in the Beauty Contest I have been judging in my head, Lazer and Iris Correa! LAZIK!!

 

Dean: Oof. Rough go for our heroes. 

 

Sam: Most definitely an inauspicious start. 

 

Charlie: Sex Appeal are just the better team, what can I say? 

 

Sam: At first I thought you were here to get a spot at Deck's table, now I'm wondering if you have other plans.

 

Charlie: Guess you'll just have to see. 

 

Sam: Well. Let's carry on.

 

Dean: MY WAAAAAAYWARD SON!

 

 

Ryan: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Ryan: Do you all do this before every match? I wonder if this works for other things. The best Ryan...is Ryan Reynolds.

 

Crowd: RYAN GOSLING!

 

Ryan: Ugh. Fine, I'm contracted to be here so let's just get it on.

 

The lights darken and fog emanates from the stage area as the opening chords of Mushroomhead - We Are the Truth strum out.

 

 

Vibrant red pyro erupts from the stage as the chorous vocals start. Gozu emerges from the stage slowly walking into view as the fog grows thicker and rolls down the ramp ahead of him.

 

 

Ryan: From right here in Parts Unknown, unless it's other parts that are equally unknown, but who really cares, weighing in at 320 pounds, it's this guy in a mask. 

 

The crowd chants "Gozu's gonna kill you!" 

 

Light from behind him casts him in shilloute as he stands at the top of the ramp eyes seemingly focused on nothing. The lighting in the arena pulses red in time with the song as Gozu stalks down towards the ring slowly.

 

Dean: Ooh. Ryan's mad that this crowd prefers Gosling but he picked the wrong time to stop caring. Gozu doesn't forget being slighted.

As the music builds in intensity Gozu's movements speed up. Until half way down the ramp he's in a full on sprint. Gozu dives under the bottom rope and immediately pushes himself up to his feet. The fog seems to follow him as it begins seeping out from under the ring with his arrival. Gozu's head swivels as he turns looking out at the crowd as the lights continue pulsing in time with the music.

Soon the music begins to fade as Gozu stalks over to his corner to await the start of the match. The fog lingers around ringside as the lights come back up.

 

 

Mr. Happy puts his hands up and waves them around joyfully. 

 

 

Ryan: From I assume some rundown mental facility, weighing 340 pounds, this other dumb galoot in a mask.

 

Mr. Happy puts his hands on his hips and wags his fingers. 

 

Dean: Oh come on, you gotta put the respect on Mr. Happy's name at least.

 

Charlie: Do you hear yourself right now?

 

Mr. Happy shrugs and walks happily to the ring. 

 

 

Violent stomps out to cheers.

 

 

Ryan: And representing Deck of Hearts... I wanna say.... Frank. No. Angry guy. This other doofus in another mask. 

 

The crowd boos Ryan Reynolds. 

 

Sam: The fans think that Reynolds may have taken it too far now, that's Violent. And the last thing you want to do is get three men of this stature angry at you.

 

Violent hi-fives some people as he walks down. 

 

Dean: All because of Ryan Gosling. 

 

Sam: It's not Gosling's fault these fans reacted as they did.

 

Charlie: These fans have no idea what they're talking about.

 

Ryan: Thank you, Charlie. 

 

Violent steps between the ropes, and Gozu and Mr. Happy both descend on him. The bell rings! 

 

Sam: Gozu and Mr. Happy with a double chokeslam to Violent, spinning around and throwing heavy haymakers at each other. Violent back to his feet and Irish Whip to Gozu, driving him to the corner, Mr. Happy charging and a cannonball splash to the corner. Violent takes a run and Stinger Splash to Gozu, Mr. Happy taking his turn now GOZU STOPS HIM WITH A BIG BOOT.

 

Dean: Is it possible to wipe the smile off Mr. Happy's face? I can't tell. 

 

Charlie: I reckon you'd have to pull it off. 

 

Sam: Gozu sets Happy back, gives himself some room to work with and going for the Shining Wizard OH but Violent intercepts with a running Splash to take Gozu to the ground, going for the quick pin-

 

Ned: ONE! 

 

Dean: Shoulder up like it's a pork at a deli counter. 

 

Charlie: Gozu's gonna be the target here, he'd better hope he can hold it off. Mr. Happy pulls Violent up and pumphandle slam! And these fans aren't happy about that! Suck it Parts Unknown. 

 

Dean: Doing a great job making your case here.

 

Sam: Olympic Slam by Mr. Happy to Gozu, Irish Whip by Mr. Happy to Violent and we could be getting the Black Hole Slam right here and now. Yes! Mr. Happy nails it.

 

Ned: ONE! TWO! T-

 

Dean: GOOOOOZU SPLASHES THEM!!! DOUBLE DECKER BUSSED! 

 

Charlie: These fans once again backing the wrong horse. 

 

Sam: Gozu with the Kyouki Driver to Mr. Happy on TOP of Violent! Trying to pin them both...

 

Ned: ONE! TWO!

 

Dean: This match will keep on smiling! Happy kicks up and kicks Violent in the stomach in the process. Gozu frustrated, rolling under the ropes and going for some backup. 

 

Charlie: NOW I'm invested. Violent grabs Happy into a Sleeperhold OH and makes it a sort of suplex! Gozu in with a shovel, and right across the face of Violent! He lays the shovel down lip-side-up, Pop Up Powerbomb to Mr. Happy!!! Gozu is that bitch! 

 

Dean: I may not agree with the methods but I can't deny the impact. 

 

Sam: Gozu gets Violent by the neck, going for the Sky High Chokeslam, OH! Violent going for the head punches, Gozu lets him go, Violent gets back to the rope MR. HAPPY WITH THE DROP TOE HOLD AND CUTS THE RUN OFF ON VIOLENT, PULLS THE LEGS AND VIOLENT FALLS NICELY ON THE MIDDLE ROPE, GOZU COMING AROUND 619!!! GOZU HITS A 619!!! UP TO THE TOP OF THE ROPE AND SHOOTING STAR SENTON!!! PURGATORY PLUNGE TO MR. HAPPY!!!

 

Ned: ONE! TWO! TH-

 

Dean: VIOLENT INTERRUPTION!!! Elbow drop stops the count!

 

Charlie: CRAZY! But you're just gonna anger him more!

 

Sam: Gozu rolls back out of the ring, Violent looking to snipe the win with an arm-locked Dragon Sleeper on Mr. Happy. Looking to put Mr. Happy out of his-

 

Dean: Out of his ecstasy. 

 

Sam: Sure, I mean that's one way to STAIRS LOBBED OVER THE ROPE AND LANDS ON THEM BOTH!!

 

Charlie: GOZU'S AIM IS PERFECT AND IT IS TRUE! PAY YOUR RESPECTS TO THE PATRON SAINT!

 

Sam: Gozu rolls in, pulls Violent up and taking him to the top.

 

Dean: He's going full King Kong!! 

 

Charlie: DEVIL'S DESCENT FROM THE TOP AND HE JUST PUT VIOLENT THROUGH THE DAMN RING!!! 

 

Sam: Mr. Happy trying to get to his feet, Gozu using the steps in the ring to run up and Shining Wizard!!! Pulling Mr. Happy up, Belly to Back Wheelbarrow Facebuster!!! Penance Buster is gonna make this one elementary...

 

Ned: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Gozu wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Ryan: Here is your winner, some big bastard in a ma-

 

Gozu stares Ryan Reynolds in the face, and Sky High Chokeslam puts Ryan through the ring too! Out comes-

 

 

The crowd pops the loudest it has all night so far. 

 

Ryan Gosling: Gozu. My good man, Gozu, is the winner. 

 

Sam: Well, we're getting someone to dig out Ryan Reynolds and Mr. Happy, and get these holes patched up. In the meantime we can tell you that next week is going to be MAWL Heart Condition, and we've got that insane Four Chambers Match for the Epoch Title. And of course, our heroes are going for the Trios Title. 

 

Charlie: If they couldn't even win here tonight, I have no idea how they think they're going to-

 

 

AC/DC "Thunderstruck" begins to shake through the arena speakers. The crowd is...lively... but not quite as much as usual. After all, this is... Parts Unknown. And SM is the self-professed King of the Castle. Steve Thunder comes out, bottle of Two Buck Chuck in hand.

 

 

He looks around at this more tepid than usual response and is still all smiles.

 

Steve: You know, I'm surprised to see me too. I didn't ever think, given everything I've said, that Starter Mansion Heartbreaker would let me into his house, into his Kingdom. Or that he'd be thoughtful enough to try to make me feel at home by providing his very own version of Daria. I mean, she's not exactly built to scale, some of the parts are a little wonky, but you know, I don't want to be ungrateful. In fact, I brought some wine that makes me think of you. Two Buck Chuck. Because you're as genuine as a 2 Dollar Bill and you make most people sick.

 

Come on Steve, we got rid of the playground insult guy.

 

Steve: But I'm being a bad guest. After all, all comparisons aside, I have to thank you for letting me fight the most interesting person in your little family. The only one there to have put a hurting on you. I like people who put hurting on you. Oh, I think we even have a clip. Can we, can we roll the clip?

 

Colin: It looks like that's what she wants! She's actually goading WildFire...he takes the bait, charges her and she pulls a Spider-Man and hangs down and GRABS HIM! She's using the turnbuckle as leverage and is pulling him up! She is able to get him to the second turnbuckle and AVALANCHE NECKBREAKER! SHE CALLS THAT THE BRACHIOSORE! She should just pin him now...she's on the turnbuckle taking in the cheers though!

 

Kendra: Finish the job Dinah before you take the praise! SM tries to punch her off the turnbuckle, she grabs his arm and pulls him up! OH! HERE WE GO! She gets him up and BRACHIOSORE TO SM! She actually gets it!! This time she goes for the cover!

1!

2!

3!

SM Heartbreaker is eliminated by Dinah Soar!

Colin: WHOA! SHE'S SHOCKED! HE'S SHOCKED! I'M SHOCKED! THIS CROWD IS SHOCKED!

 

Steve wipes away a tear. Somewhere, a PA is getting fired for letting that clip go through.

 

Steve: Poetry. Simply poetry. Also, SM, considering you've been looking for your mole, maybe this footage will help you too. You know, maybe I'm not such a bad houseguest after all. I brought you two gifts. I guess you did too, now that I think about what I saw in the hallway.

 

Steve holds a painting of himself as a Smurf. Somewhere, a housekeeper is being fired for letting that picture get taken.

 

Steve: SM, I have to say, the likeness isn't that bad! You could pivot to boardwalk caricature artist if you decide to live a place more Known, or if one will have you. I did see myself more as a Snork, but again, I can't be ungrateful. It's very sweet. Much better than the one he did of Nero which the censors are ALL over this one and the one that he did of Gozu which, dare I say aroused me just the littlest bit. And that's no small feat for an Ace. But, back to the matter at hand. I do get distracted around gratuitously steamy Oni.

 

Steve blows on his hand a little bit.

 

Steve: Diana Dresden. You know, when you came onto the scene as Dinah Soar, I gotta admit, I thought you were pretty badass. I thought you had a really unique thing going. Unlike Land Before Time, I actually was invested in the dino antics.

 

You and us both, Steve.

 

Steve: Like the Jurassic Park series, I thought you'd continue on forever, even as we all kinda wondered why but admired your commitment to the bit. But like the show Dinosaurs you killed the Dino with an unnecessarily frigid end.

 

The sad thing is, Steve didn't research this for this match. He knows all these things by heart.

 

Steve: At least with Venom Cartel, there was some fit...reptiles, snakes, yada yada... but then you went and abandoned them for EM Powered. But even then you stayed true to some of yourself. But you THEN abandoned them for Deck of Hearts. And in the saddest thing of all, you lost everything that made you not some random preppy nobody in a tracksuit, and you did it in service of the man we all saw you be better than. The only thing you kept about yourself, the only Reptilian thing left in you, is that slimy, slippery snake who will bite the Charmer the first chance she gets. You may have made yourself just part of Salad Mix's bowl, but you and I both know, all these people know-

 

I swear to god Steve if you bring Sports Illustrated or ESPN into this

 

Steve: It's only a matter of time before the lettuce leaf jumps off the fork, before the jumpsuit gets shed like yet another skin, and you reveal yourself as the mole. And if all of you wonderful people - you may not like me, that's fine, I still like you - want to know why I'm ramping this up and stretching this out, it's to make up for the time that will be regained when I quickly make the snake eat its own tail. When I feed the mole to the snake.

 

 

Sunflower Bean "Teach Me to Be Bad" plays as Diana walks out, annoyed.

 

 

Diana: I'm gettin' a little meow tired of you trying to put this idea out there that I'm the mole. I have done EVERYTHING for this group. I engineered all of their title wins.

 

Steve: Um, I was there kid and last time it was Gozu who ultimately allowed SM to keep his title. You were there too. You don't get to take credit for that. And in fact, I'm the one Physio and Gozu blame for that night. I contend that argument, but it's being made.

 

Diana: Their trios belts. That was me. The Inferno Title, I set the original situation up. The tag belts. The Epoch Title. All of that was me behind the scenes orchestrating EVERY damn thing.

 

Steve: Interesting. So where are all those belts? Where are the tag belts you made sure that Manta and I couldn't win, that you and your frenemy took our place just to fail like you always do? Where are the trios belts that you screwed your last team to keep in your new family? Where are the belts, Diana? Are they in Hershey's Cookies Belts and Creme? Are they hidden like Easter Eggs? Who stole the belts from the belt jar, Simpleton Plath?

 

A literary reference, the Doctor is in.

 

Steve: Oh. The only belt you still have is the Inferno Belt which, again, Gozu. That belt was won in spite of you, not because of you.

 

Steve puts his hand to his mouth.

 

Steve: If I remember, you had a belt that looked a lot like it. And you were all tasked with protecting SM from Nero, so that he could keep that belt. Your ENTIRE squad couldn't stop Kilty MacMope. And now, I have it on good authority from my aquatic friends that the current champion is a Hammerhead Shark. Whose fault was that, Mole?

 

Diana: I AM NOT THE MOLE!

 

Steve: Then who is? Rox, the wunderkind who despite you being SM's "second in command" is the one he trusts in the group? Jen? The Stockholm Syndrome candidate whose only act of rebellion is the WGSN Color of the Year that SM doesn't want her to wear because she'll upstage him I guess?

 

Steve pauses again, as if a thought has just come to him.

 

Steve: Where IS Jen, by the way? Did you lose her like you lost the belts? Or did you sell her to the highest bidder, to your eventual next employer where you'll inevitably once again play second banana or third pomegranate?

 

Diana: How. DARE. You.

 

Steve: I mean, let's look at the track record. You teamed with Manta and me, and you beat the hell out of Manta when our paths didn't need to cross any more, cost me the W2 and the tag belts - again, all for nothing. You still couldn't win em. You were an integral part of Venom Cartel, I believe Trios Champs there, and then you let them go off to a show that was sinking in the swamp before it had a chance to properly open their doors, so you can join with the Queen of Backstabbery. You had the Trios Belts with them, could have just stayed with them, continued to market yourself as the Next Evolution of Heartbreak, but you chose instead to team with someone we all saw you beat and mute your own evolution, and do so in a derivative Jassy move and I can't believe I'm actually upwardly comparing Sex Appeal to you... for what exactly I'm not sure. If it was for the Trios Belts, your plan sure sucked because you lost it to a Christmas Special. 

 

Diana: Stop.

 

Steve: But hey. Your antics at least got you the Epoch Belt OH WAIT you lost that to another Christmas Special who decided to do a Hentai move and go all evil costume so you BOTH ended up transitional champs. 

 

Diana: STOP. 

 

Steve: So what was it all for, Diana? What did your scheming and your stabbing and your slithering get you? The third match in the Special for the team you "did everything for" and "are the right hand woman" for? Do you think that maybe they just don't trust you that much anymore? That they just don't value you enough anymore?

 

Diana: STOP!

 

Steve: Here's a little lesson, Diana. If you Rex enough homes, you're gonna be homeless. 

 

Diana swings at Steve and the bell rings.

 

Steve: WAIT! Unring the bell.

 

Can you do that?

 

Steve: I almost forgot something. I have a gift for you too, Diana.

 

Diana side eyes him.

 

Steve: This is as much your house as it is SM's. At least while you still live here. And it's important to carboload before you fight. Gives you energy.

 

Steve rolls under the ring and pulls out a cloche, then rolls back in.

 

Steve: Don't tell me you're not hungry. I'm sure SM's catering leaves a lot to be desired.

 

Diana continues to stare him down.

 

Steve: I didn't poison it. Look. I'll even open it myself.

 

Steve opens up the cloche to reveal an enchilada covered in a brown aromatic topping.

 

Diana: Is this what I think this is?

 

Steve: If you think this is the Banana Pizza Burrito, no, we're still stress testing and focus testing that. But it is one of my favorite dishes.

 

Diana: You really think you're funny, don't you?

 

Steve: Well, I amuse myself. It passes the time in catering. You'd know about that if you did your time back there instead of finding teams to latch yourself onto.

 

Diana: Am I a joke to you?

 

Steve: No, Deck of Hearts is the joke. You're just the punchline.

 

Diana: Keep laughing, Steve. You'll see exactly why I'm such a desired commodity. You'll see why every team wants me on their roster, why my phone has many unanswered DMs. Why Venom Cartel wants me back. Why EM Powered wants me back. Why Sex Appeal leaves me baskets of roses.

 

Steve laughs. Small at first then holding his gut.

 

Diana: WHAT. IS SO. DAMN. FUNNY.

 

Steve: You said to keep laughing. I'm just respecting your wishes. But more to the point, you're proving my point.

 

Diana throws the burrito, steam and all, at Steve.

 

Steve: Damn. I worked real hard making that. That is good mole though, I'll have to give me the recipe. Okay. You can re-ring the bell now.

 

The bell rings. Again.

 

 

Sam: We're about to see some of the W2 Fallout play out in front of us. Thunder and Dresden both have reasons to be angry with each other, each cost the other a valuable opportunity, and now amid ruinations and accusations they are going to finally settle this in the ring.

 

Dean: Whoa, how did you know all that.

 

Sam: Did... did you not watch the W2 in preparation for this? 

 

Dean: I watched the SM matches.

 

Sam and Charlie both glare at Dean.

 

Dean: Bro, you know I don't watch that MAWL trash. It's not wXw, I don't want it. 

 

Charlie: Even if that's true, they literally just said it and have you been playing Candy SMOSH during that whole interaction?

 

Dean: If you connect three SMOSHIS then they inflate and get rid of all the Hearts! It's so much fun. Here, look.

 

Charlie: Unbelievable.

 

Sam: Well, we do have a match underway so hopefully our cohort here can actually focus. We come to it and Diana's already got Thunder choked out in the ropes, but it seems Ned's not even counting?

 

Charlie: I think the instructions given were these matches were meant to be in 3D. Don't Disqualify Deck. 

 

Dean: Well that's gonna make it more difficult for the other fighters, isn't it. And yet, Deck is 0-2 so far. 

 

Sam: Thunder with a leg sweep, taking matters into his own h-

 

Dean: Into his own feet. 

 

Sam: Yeah. Sure. Thunder jumps out to the apron, springboard back in and huracanrana takes Diana down. Thunder keeping the momentum up and takes the run... on his way back and Cartwheel into a No Hands Backflip into another no hand Moonsault! Thunder with the quick cover-

 

Ned: ONE!

 

Charlie: Diana shoulders up! You got this girl! 

 

Sam: Thunder shrugs it off, grabs Diana by the arm and going for the judo arm flip, Diana lands back on her feet and jumping roundhouse, Thunder ducks it and superkick, Diana grabs the leg Thunder goes for the Enzuigiri but Diana ducks and locks in the Achilles THUNDER TRIES FOR A BACK ENZUIGIRI BUT DIANA GETS HIS LEG AND INVERTED CRAB!! 

 

Dean: Thunder heads to the ropes, is he aware that rope breaks won't save him?

 

Charlie: Looks like a desperation play.

 

Sam: Thunder gets there and going to try it anyway, oh he uses the ropes as a launchpad and flings Dresden out of the ring! Thunder runs back, here he comes and Somersault Plancha! 

 

Dean: Drive her back to the Stone Age. Going up to the Barricade and looking for a Moonsault again OH a fan just pushed him! Thunder cracks his ribs on the barricade.

 

Charlie: He's not in friendly territory and he's just gonna have to deal with that. Diana gettin' that Bronco Buster on Thunder! Ride that pony, girl! 

 

Sam: The fans high-fiving her and she's setting up for that Home Rexer DDT OOH Thunder's head driven into the crowd and the crowd deciding they wanna help throw hands! 

 

Charlie: Steve would be smart to channel his dark side in dealing with this, but I don't think he has one. And Diana taking full advantage of the 3D rule, Exploder Suplex to Thunder back over the barricade. Now what's she doing?

 

Diana grabs a mic and has herself perched up, CM Punk style.

 

Diana: How does it feel, Steve? How does it feel to be hated? How does it feel to be booed? How does it feel to be in a room full of people who want to see you fail no matter how much you try to play everyone's hero? Feel what I feel every day. See how pointless it is to try to be loved. Take it all in, Steve. Let the hate wash over you. Let the anger take you. Realize that most people suck and that you only need to look out for number 1.

 

Steve gets himself up, and grabs a mic. He starts laughing. Diana starts to get angrier.

 

Diana: What is so GODDAMN FUNNY. 

 

Steve: Your whole Dark Side speech. Do you have cookies on the Dark Side, Darth Velociraptor?

 

Diana: Do you not care that these people hate you?? 

 

Steve sits criss-cross applesauce. 

 

Steve: Diana, let me share a story with you. After my first major loss at Path 2 Glory Winter War, about a year and a half ago, Daria and I were in the airport when a fan came up asking me to sign a picture. It turns out it was a picture of me getting hit with a nightstick. Daria, who at the time had not yet done the exact same thing to me...hitting me with a long phallic tool, not asking for my autograph... got angry and wanted to jump the dude. But I signed it. And I fist bumped him. And she was just as flabbergasted as you are now. And I'll say to you what I said to her. If you let everyone razz you then you're gonna spend more time in the med tent than in the ring. 

 

Steve gestures to the crowd.

 

Steve: These people are here for a show. Maybe they came to see me beat your ass. Maybe they came to see you beat my ass. My job, your job, is to entertain them and put on a hell of a show. And I think, barring this interlude, we're doing that. If I let everyone's anger change who I was, if I got all pissy and stompy and decided OH YEAH WELL I'M GONNA BE A DICK NOW and stopped being true to who I was, I wouldn't be me. 

 

Diana almost looks like she's considering his words.

 

But, Steve gonna Steve. 

 

Steve: I'd be you. 

 

Diana growls and whips the mic at Steve, who catches it. Diana springs up and goes for a shooting star knee drop but Steve dodges and donks her in the back with the microphones before putting them back on the announcing table. 

 

Dean: He ALMOST made sense to her there. But he did a great job throwing Diana off her game and he rolls her into the ring! 

 

Charlie: He ALMOST wasn't a hypocrite. 

 

Sam: Steve up on the apron, calibrating his attack, waiting for Diana to get to her feet, she's up and Shooting Star Cutter NO SHE ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY OF THE VENOM SPIKE SHE'S GOING FOR A SUPERKICK STEVE CATCHES HER LEG AND SPINS HER INTO THE BOSTON CRAB!!! ARE WE....YES! WE'RE GOING ROLLING! IT'S THAT ROLLING CRAB, THE NEVERENDING STORMY!

 

Charlie: Diana trying to hold tight but the constant motion and the cranking is proving too much! She taps!!! 

 

Steve Thunder wins by Submission!

 

 

Ryan Gosling: Here is your winner, Sting Ray Steve Thunder!!

 

Dean: And the crowd letting Steve know they are NOT for this result, Steve shrugging it off and getting out of Dodge. 

 

Charlie: Can you blame them? He's such a liar! He said he wouldn't do the dark thing and then he cheats with weapons! 

 

Dean: He played the game he was given. You can't fault him for that. 

 

Sam: Deck of Hearts now 0-3 in their own home turf, and you have to think that this is not at all how SM envisioned this night going. 

 

 

Dean: And it's about to get worse.

 

Start the Shooting blasts off the P.A, the arena ignites.

Dante steps out onto the stage mic in hand, satisfaction written across his face. He’s wearing his, now iconic, Shattered Nose Division tee shirt and black jeans.

 

 

Sam: Here he is, the W2 Champion. Stepping out for the first time since his win, and this crowd is letting him hear it.

Charlie: But where is Victoria? You’d think she’d want to be here for this.

Dante makes his way down the ramp, the spirit of validation guiding every step as he glides up the steps and through the ropes. As he takes the center of the ring, he lifts his arms in an X, the four ring corners ignite in flames that shoot up high above the ring.

The crowd erupts again as Dante settles into the ring.

Dante: What up MAWL? W2 was crazy wasn’t it?

He grins as he gets another pop from the crowd.

Dante: Now I know this 'Address to the fans' bit is more DJ’s thing and I hope he don't mind me borrowing it. But I got a few things to get off my chest. And hell, I think I've earned it.

Dante walks over to the corner turnbuckle and takes a seat.

Dante: Usually the hardest part is knowing where to start, but my punk ass little brother made that choice easy.

A chorus of OOOOOOOOHHH’s fills the arena.

Sam: Tell us how you really feel.

 

Dante: Believe it or not, we used to be a lot closer. Longest XHW Tag champs in company history, back when it was still a proper company and not an army of attack dogs.

He points to his chest.

Dante: There’s no one on this planet that I trusted more than that man, we spent our lives training together. Wrestling matches after school in the backyard. Practicing moves we saw on TV on each other on the trampoline. Taking turns lying to mom about various injuries and property damage. I was older, and picked it up faster. I carried him through the indies until he could walk on his own. Then we were an unstoppable untamable unbreakable duo.

He shrugs.

Dante: Now we dominate separately. You come here and win the Epoch Title in your first appearance, third match. I Qualify for my second Tag title AND win the W2 Tournament, and all that comes with that, in my first six months. You are my LITTLE brother. I don’t care what that fat bastard has whispered into your ear at night, MAWL is my house now. And until you back up all that confidence in the ring with ME, Little Brother playing catch-up is all you will ever be.

Dante takes a breath, calming himself a bit. The crowd roars in support. Chants of “This is our house” can be heard in the background.

Dean: Seems like there’s a lot more to unpack there.

Charlie: I doubt we’re getting those answers tonight.

Suddenly Dante propels himself off of the turnbuckle.

Dante: But on to the next topic of discussion, IM THE W2 CHAMPION BAAABAAAAAAAAAY

He spreads his arms wide taking in the roar from the crowd, letting himself feel the moment.

Dante: It sure as hell was a rough road to get there. First, Dedo showed a lot of heart. Wasn’t quite expecting it to end as fast as it did but who knows. Maybe we will run it back sometime. The second round though, was extra satisfying. Any opportunity to smack up Jared is a good day. Add in a spot in the semi’s and the fact that he FINESSED us into coming here, let’s just say the bell rang way too early. I’m sure he’ll cry about Steve distracting him but Steve always talks shit. I’m the threat you ALWAYS need to pay attention to.

The crowd cheers again, some chants of “ Little Bitch” and “Fallen Princess” can be heard.

Dante: Now to Defjam. DJ you have been the older brother to me that I always tried to be to Diego. Knowing that I can not only beat you, but beat you with all the Scythe weapons i’ve learned over the years is almost as sweet as winning the tournament itself. One day soon, we’ll run it back. Can y’all give it up one time for my fearless leader?

 

He takes a moment to clap as the crowd gives him a pop of appreciation.

Sam: It seems like Defjam has picked up a decent amount of MAWL fans after his last few showings here.

Charlie: It helps that his teammates are putting in the footwork.

Dante lifts the mic back to his lips.

Dante: Which brings me to the Final.

A wide grin stretches across his face as he points down to his shirt

Dante: Ya like how i remixed that old favorite, SM? You got a good nose guy, right?

The crowd laughs but Dante’s smirk clears away.

Dante: I know your type SM. Your ego won’t let you take this loss like a man. This ain’t over, it can’t be over. Not while you still walk around MAWL thinking you're the best. You can’t be. Your name isn’t DANTE RIVERA.

 

The arena fills with collective OOOOOOOHHHHHs from the crowd.

Dante: I’M the face of MAWL now, I shattered the weak link and I will hold up the weight. Why don’t you play bully in 404 where your name still has valu-

 

 

”No Good” starts to play over the loudspeaker.

 

The fans pop

 

and wait…

 

and wait...

 

and after a false start, out comes SM

 

-oshi.

 

 

SMOSHI: squeak squeak squeak squeak

 

Language! There are kids watching!

 

Voice Over: Wrestling has only one HeartBreaker.

 

 

"No Good" By The Prodigy begins to play.

 

Again.

 

You know what that means!!!

 

Enter SM HeartBreaker.

 

 

SM HeartBreaker armed with a microphone pushes past the blow up doll, SM HeartBreaker pauses for a moment, realising what the blow up doll is and decides to Sparta kick SMoshi to the ground, causing the crowd to rage at him.

 

BOOOMania runs wild in the building tonight!

 

SM HeartBreaker enters the ring, eyes locked on Dante Rivera. SM HeartBreaker shushes the crowd as SM HeartBreaker gets ready to lock in.

 

SM: Firstly, I would like to apologise. I bet you have been waiting all week to hear me talk Dante.

 

Subtle 4th wall break, as SM HeartBreaker didn't see this promo.

 

SM: Second, I have waited so long to come face to face with you. I planned everything I am about to say to you on the train here.

 

Another cheeky 4th wall break, its like this reply is being written on a 3 hour train ride.

 

SM: So let's get the pleasantries out of the way. Well done, Dante Rivera. You won the W2 tournament. You beat me one on one. That's an achievement. That is an accolade many in this business can only dream of.

 

SM HeartBreaker pauses for a moment as he is about to drop the biggest "But" of all time.

 

SM: But... you understand you are representing MAWL now. Since we are missing a pillar. Rest in peace Scott Razor.

 

SM HeartBreaker makes a cross across his chest before pointing to the sky.

 

SM: There is a much contended spot. One that I believe is yours after your prestigious W2 win. But like I said...

 

Another huge butt is coming

 

SM: You can't be associating yourself with off brand companies or in some case.

 

SM HeartBreaker smiles as who even knows which company is hinting to?!

 

SM: Dead companies that have no right being mentioned in this building.

 

Lawyers are descending on SM HeartBreaker's location.

 

SM: You need to be all in on MAWL or all out and be a mercenary. Like Aztec.

 

SM HeartBreaker stares into a nearby camera.

 

SM: Who will never be a Pillar in MAWL. Mark my words Aztec.

 

SM HeartBreaker is back in the room, focusing on the problem in hand. Dante Rivera.

 

SM: So yeah, it is super cool that you have finally achieved everything I said you could never do. I am man enough to say your proved me wrong. You are no longer just a tag guy. You are actually someone. Just...

 

SM HeartBreaker gets into the face of Dante Rivera.

 

SM: You are not the face of MAWL. A title I didn't pick but was given to me. A title I earned. I am sure all the softest, wettest babyfaces in the back dream of being given that title but for me, actions is what made me the Face of MAWL.

 

SM HeartBreaker and Dante Rivera's staredown does not break as both men refuse to lose.

 

SM: despite all of the disgusting things I have done. Despite all of the horrifying stuff I have done to win. I earned it because I have always been the first and only line of defence for MAWL. I represent everything about MAWL. I am the ultimate symbol of MAWL. I bleed and the DNA that comes out is MAWL. You won a tournament that I may never ever win. Its huge. I agree. But until you defend this company with every ounce of energy in your body.

 

The staredown is about to end as SM HeartBreaker is about to blink.

 

SM: You will never be the face of MAWL.

 

Dante lets the moment breathe for a moment, the crowd a mixture of jeers for SM and OOOOOOOOH’s for his comments. Dante simply removes his shades and lifts the mic to his bandana.

 

Dante: Glad to see you so locked in, so focused. Do I have your full and undivided attention this time, then?

 

SM’s eyes never leave Dante’s, he smirks before continuing.

 

Dante: Yeah, that’s the look I’ve been waiting for. At W2, you had this smug look on your face before the match. Like you knew you were one pelvic uppercut away from victory. You were looking past me to a prize that alluded you. Nah not now.

 

He slides the shades back on his face.

 

Dante: Now you’re a man that knows what he’s getting himself into. You know what happens when you’re even the tiniest bit unfocused in the ring with me. You know that you are only ever ONE SHOT away from taking another dirt nap. And yet.

 

He taps on his own skull.

 

Dante: There’s that little voice in your head. The same voice that justifies your actions as ‘defending MAWL’. It’s convincing you that things aren’t changing. That this is something you can just brute force or dig deep and overcome. You are a soldier of MAWL and I am the invader taking everything you’ve been working so hard to achieve. I’ve got bad news for you, that voice is a lie. A desperate hail mary from your pride and ego trying to protect you from unavoidable and unchangeable facts.

 

He points to his own heart.

 

Dante: I have the heart of a true soldier. One that takes on his nation’s enemies foreign and domestic. Sure, when it comes to MAWL I may be an immigrant, but I’ve more than proven my worth to this company. And I don’t mean just by winning titles or tournaments.

 

He prods SM’s chest with his finger.

 

Dante: It’s because I’m making a stand against domestic threats like you. So I don’t care how you got your title of ‘face of MAWL’. You’ve lost it the same way you lost all those other titles. Except there’s no winning this one back. Props to you for coming out here like a man and showing another layer to SM Heartbreaker than I’m SURE none of these fans thought existed.

 

He removes the bandana, revealing his face for the first time.

 

 

Dante: But the next time you fix your lips to tell me what I’ll never do, this will be the last face you will ever see.

 

He lowers his mic, the crowd erupts in cheers as the intensity between the two grows. SM grips the mic tighter, Dante’s muscles tense. Things could go to blows at any second.

 

SM: Don't give me props. I don't want your praise. It is worth nothing to me. Do you remember the last time I gave props to someone? Do you remember his name?

 

RhetoricalMania is running wild tonight!

 

SM: It was Gozu. When he beat me for the Asylum Champion. My first reign. Not my second. Oh no. Because that is the point of my question. Last time I gave props to someone. I went out of my way to be better than them and never allow myself to lose to them. Hell, on the way, I even bumped into you and dragged you into the spotlight. So let me ask you, who do you think I will put over and drag into the spotlight when I get ready for our rematch? Because that is one thing for sure. Me and you have a match coming in the future...

 

Rhetorical questions are great because no one answers them.

 

SM: But I am sure you have other problems right now. Because while you are currently at the peak of your career. You still ain't even the leader of Xtreme Society. What makes you think you are the face of this company?

 

Who is the leader of Xtreme Society? Find out next week on MAWL.

 

SM: I know these fans didn't watch Academy of Dream's biggest Pay Per View of the year "Crowning Glory".

 

Irish Wolfhound slides into SM HeartBreaker's DMs demanding he ceases and desist name dropping his company on a MAWL show. The DM will be left on read.

 

SM: So I will spoil the result. But your leader DefJam is wildly considered better than you, yet didn't even get booked on the show. Tell me, how is it possible that you are lead by an outsider that doesn't even turn up in MAWL unless we as a company have to pay him extra.

 

DefJam is exclusively Academy of Dreams, so if you want to see what he is doing. Tune in to Academy of Dreams next week

 

 

Captain Bizzarick rushes SM from behind with an elbow to the back of the head, immediately followed with a German Suplex.

 

As Dante moves to react, he’s met with a powerful full nelson from Dr. McVae.

 

Dante struggles against the hold, pushing him up against the ropes but McVae jumps on his back and switches to a Rear naked Choke!

 

SM has managed to get to his feet but Bizzarick rushes him with a Big boot. SM moved to dodge but gets caught in the shoulder, the pain visible on his face. Bizzarick then tries to close in with a some boxing punches but SM manages to evade and land a spinning elbow strike to the temple.

 

The crafty veteran takes the opportunity to toss the stunned Bizzarick through the ropes and give himself a moment.

 

Dante has found himself to his feet holding the ropes in one hand, and the other fighting the wrist of McVae who is seconds away from locking in that choke again.

 

SM rushes in with a super kick, catching McVae in the Jaw giving Dante leverage to pull him up into a Samoan drop!

 

Dante takes advantage and starts wailing on McVae “SHOULDA, STAYED, HOME..” can barely be heard through the roaring crowd as the strikes land. When SM looks up , Bizzarick is on the apron looking enraged. Tightly gripping the ropes and starring him down.

 

He launches himself into the ring and darts towards SM who goes in for the Instrument of Destruction but Bizzarick moves his head and catches him mid-air, spiking him down with a violent powerbomb.

 

He goes to lift him up for the Piledriver but SM manages to position himself and send him flying into the ring post head first with a Hurricanrana that splits him wide open.

 

McVae has the tides turned for the moment, having thrown up a few more submission attempts and finally got himself off the ground, but Dante comes rushing forward with a roundhouse kick to the body. McVae catches the kick with a devilish grin, grabs Dante’s throat, lifts him up and spikes him down. SM throws Bizzarick over the top rope and he bounces hard off the apron before dropping ringside. SM then turns to charge Dr. McVae but he catches him with a brutal clothesline to the chest that takes the wind out of him.

Dr. McVae then takes a moment standing proudly in the center of the ring and goes to cross his arms like Xtreme Society, but Dante is back on his feet. He charges the ropes and leaps off of them at Dr.McVae, Springboard Plancha! Dante rolls back to his feet, stalking his prey as Dr.McVae gets to his feet, AMBOY SPECIAL! It lands clean and the momentum sends him flying out of the ring.

 

Dante gets back to his feet about the same time SM does and the two lock eyes. Then SM looks past him, Bizzarick and Dr. McVae are both back on their feet. Bizzarick is bleeding from his forehead, the blood dripping onto his smile from the gash on his forehead. These two are still very much ready for a fight.

 

Dante notices and turns around and the four look ready to get back at it, but then the Titantron cracks to life, the screen fills with static at first but the XHW logo forms on the screen. As if on cue, Bizzarick and Dr McVae back their way up the ramp.

 

The camera fades to black just as SM turns to Dante and says “ That, was for MAWL”

 

 

non copyrighted music begins to play as the segment title graphic

 

 

Appears on screen. UV is in deep thought as he looks towards the camera.

 

 

UV: Clapping is just hitting yourself repeatedly because you like something. Which is a fetish you pervert!

 

No copyrighted music begins to play against as the segment title graphic appears again.

 

 

Utterly Vile is in the ring, pointing with admiration at his own elucidation.

 

 

Utterly Vile: Beautiful. Artistry. You all, I hope, see the mastery that goes through this brain every day. And this is just the beginning.

 

 

Sam: That sounds more like a threat than a promise.

 

 

Dean: I dunno, I mean let's hear the man out.

 

 

Charlie: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually agree with Sam.

 

Utterly Vile: And it is with this Galaxy Amazing Brain, that I am thinking my next big thought.

 

Adara Rose.

 

Babe. Sweet cheeks.

 

Dean: Okay, yeah, no, I see what you mean.

 

Utterly Vile: You. Me. Your belt. Right here, we get all hot and tangled. I win, I get your belt and you Please enjoy this aria from Censor Cat... any minute now...almost...not quite...yep, okay and we, no, no, okay now he's done, and if he calls that the Aristocrats I quit. If you win, I'll be your Censor Cat Aria, Reprise for the rest of the year and I'll even use my meow to clean your me...oh wait, he said Title. So hot to trot, the MILF of MAWL, ready to-

 

 

WildFire jumps the barricade and starts punching Utterly Vile in his face, bending his glasses inward.

 

Sam: I guess we have our next fight.

 

 

Dean: Bro those are like $200 sunglasses you're just implanting into Vile's face.

 

Sam: Wouldn't you react the same if someone crassly propositioned the love of your life?

 

Dean: I will destroy anyone who comes for my Cas. And I know you'd do that for Je-

 

Sam: Jessica...

 

Charlie: Goddammit. We lost him. Okay, I'll take over for a bit. Wild still just going to town to Vile. Now, I was actually in the audience for some of the W2 so I know that Wild has been tapping into this angrier place lately, and we're definitely seeing it in play here. He's got Vile in the corner and throwing his knees into the ribs. Vile not having much of a chance to get back into this.

 

Dean: Wild wants to absolutely break him and I can understand it now that it's put in perspective. 

 

Charlie: Irish whip sending Vile back into the other corner, this might actually give him a chance to get back in the game, bounces hard off the buckles and Wild boots him back into the corner. So maybe Vile isn't going to get a hand up, oh Vile pops himself up to the turnbuckle and coming down with a running splash WILD CATCHES HIM WITH THE BOOM2!!

 

 

Ned: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

WildFire wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Ryan Gosling: Your winner, everyone, WildFire. Give it up.

 

The audience boos. 

 

Ryan G: I guess that's one way to do that. Okay.

 

Sam: Okay. I'm back. Is... is the match over?

 

Dean: Yeah, WildFire absolutely decimated Utterly Vile. They're gonna have to pull the pieces of glasses out of him.

 

Charlie: I'm personally excited for the next one, where all of ZLI just puts the hurt on Cole. 

 

 

Ryan G: Hey girls. The following contest is an ultimate handicap tag match, where Cole St. Pierre must pin or submit every member of Zora Luthor International. What? That's C-RAZY.

 

 

ZLI march out in a line with Zora leading the charge.

 

 

Ryan G: First... the ENTIRE squad of Zora Luthor International. Damn.

 

Zora takes the ring as the women surround it. 

 

 

Nothing happens.

 

The music stops for a moment and then starts back up, as brimstone rises up.

 

The audience waits with antici-

 

 

 

-pation. But still nothing.

 

Dean: You think he got cold feet?

 

Charlie: What a coward.

 

Zora: Cole, Cole, Cole. You now have 10 seconds to show your raggedy smoking ass or we will consider this match a forfeit.

 

1!

 

2!

 

3!

 

4!

 

5!

 

6!

 

7!

 

8!

 

9!

 

Brimstone raises from the ground and angelic light shines from above. Cole St. Pierre comes down from the heavens, leisurely enjoying a smoke as he descends.

 

 

Ryan G: And their opponent, representing Deck of Hearts, Montreal, Quebec, Canada, weighing in at 113 kg, the Smoking Angel, Cole St. Pierre!

 

He lands in the ring, lights one cigarette with another, and flicks the old one out of the ring, ALMOST hitting Aja Lioness but she dodges. Flames shoot from the ring corners.

 

Dean: So how'd we get here?

 

Sam: From what I have gathered, Cole St. Pierre stole Aja Lioness's shoes, ruining their final chance at the W2. Aja even refused to fight in the 3rd Place Match without her ability to do Zombie Raising.

 

Charlie: So now they're going to rip him limb from limb and I CAN'T WAIT.

 

Dean: But then wouldn't it be like just Aja fighting him? Doesn't this seem like overkill, especially given Deck of Hearts are yet to win a match?

 

Charlie: Wouldn't it be hilarious if we found out that SM paid them to do this? 

 

Sam: I don't know if hilarious. Would be an interesting turn of events though.

 

Dean: Well, Cole and Zora squaring off. I'll tell ya, if Cole intends to smoke this whole match he better have multiple packs on him.

 

The bell rings!

 

Sam: This is almost worse than a normal gauntlet, because ZLI control the outside perimeter and can tag at any time. Zora already making use of that and in comes PG-13. The one saving grace that Cole has as he locks up with PG is that you can only enter the ring if tagged, otherwise you have 3 seconds to exit the ring or be eliminated. Cole with a snap suplex drops PG, scooping her back up and a Uranage. 

 

Charlie: Come on PG! Get up, get fighting!

 

Dean: Yes, I'm sure that'll help. 

 

Charlie: PG's up! Ha! It worked. PG punching at Cole, getting some blows in to the stomach, and enzuigiri! Knocks that obnoxious smoke out of his mouth, and this would be a good time to tag. 

 

Sam: She starts to head that way, Cole gets her in a sleeper and sends her back with an overhead suplex! She's close to Morgan Maverick and she's reaching for that tag... oh, Bianca tells her no and she pulls the tag back. 

 

Dean: Looks like the girls are still fighting.

 

Charlie: Crass. 

 

Sam: Cole takes advantage and locks in the Dragon Sleeper, Angel's Wrath! Morgan refusing to come in to save her, and Sex Appeal is all the way on the other side! Sarah Sharp running in...

 

Ned: ONE!

 

Dean: She's not gonna reach in time!

 

Ned: TWO! 

 

Charlie: Sarah with a running boot to break the hold, last minute play and Cole rolls out of the way! He keeps that lock on and he might get two eliminations here! 

 

Ned: THREE!

 

Sam: AND PG taps!

 

PG-13 and Sarah Sharp are eliminated by Cole! (1/2)

 

Morgan Maverick enters the ring. 

 

Dean: Cole attempting to reach his cigarette, Morgan takes advantage and scoops him up into a Piledriver! Quick tag to Guinevere, double suplex and Morgan rolls out, Guinevere with a scoop up and a Running Powerslam! The Firebirds are on Fleek!

 

Charlie: You could have said On Fire, I would have been slightly less annoyed.

 

Sam: Anyway. Morgan heading to the top, jumps down with an elbow drop, quick tag to Valencia. Valencia going for a Uranage into a Backbreaker! Scooping Cole up into a Spinebuster Hold, Gina Thieso tags herself in, Springboard Clothesline and a Cover!

 

Ned: ONE! TWO!

 

Dean: Cole says nope! Still in it! But ZLI making good use of this quick tag system to keep Cole from developing any momentum. Gina gets Cole up into a stalling suplex... she's stalling a little too long and Cole rolls her right into the middle of the ring!

 

Ned: ONE! TWO! 

 

Charlie: Gina gets the shoulder up, but Cole whipping her off the rope, the return trip, Cole leapfrogs and Angel Cutter! Tight roll-up!

 

Ned: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Gina Thieso is eliminated by Cole! (3)

 

Jassy enters the match. 

 

Sam: Jassy flapjacks Cole! He manages to get his smoke. She drags him by the arm, up to the top rope and Old School walking, slap to Cole and knocks it right back out of his mouth! 

 

Charlie: He should thank her, it's a nasty habit. Keeps his arm held, tag into Bianca, double back suplex! Bianca gets him in a headlock and looking for the BDE, Cole reverses into a Back Suplex! Bianca rolls away and she lands by Morgan, Bianca refusing the tag but Morgan tags herself in, the argument ensues and Cole rolls them both up!!

 

Ned: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Bianca Diaz and Morgan Maverick are eliminated by Cole! (4/5)

 

Daria Donner enters the match. 

 

Dean: That's not gonna help the problems between Sex Appeal and ZLI at large, is it.

 

Sam: Cole has been able to remove about a quarter, maybe a little less, so far, but Daria takes Cole's smoke from him and it's got him pissed. He's charging her, she moves, Aja pulls him out of the ring!!!

 

Ned: ONE! TWO!

 

Charlie: Daria flicks Cole's smoke at him and it actually DOES hit Aja! It's hard to say if that was intentional or not.

 

Ned: THREE! FOUR! 

 

Dean: Cole attempting to use that to get back into the ring, Cassandra Cash pushes him back down!

 

Ned: FIVE! SIX!

 

Sam: Cole distracted and he pulls Cassandra down. He gets the double underhook in-

 

Ned: SEVEN! EIGHT!

 

Sam: Hearing the time, won't be able to pull off the move he wants, lets her go AJA SPINS HIM AROUND AND ZOMBIE RAISING!

 

Ned: NINE! TEN!

 

Cole St. Pierre is eliminated by Aja Lioness! ZLI wins!

 

 

Ryan G: Here are your winners, Zora Luthor International!

 

Sam: You'd think they'd be happier than they are... but it's still breaking down between ZLI! 

 

ZLI start to devolve into blows... A hiss is suddenly heard and ZLI scatter out of the ring. 

 

Dean: Well, that ended pretty much exactly as expected. 

 

 

The camera finds Aztec alone inside the dimly lit halls of Aztec Pro Wrestling.

 

 

Ancient stone walls have been replaced by concrete and steel, but somehow the room still feels like a forgotten temple. Resting across a battered equipment crate are the symbols of conquest. The Aztec Pro Television Championship. The Aztec Pro Tag Team Championships. The NWW Midnight Rider Championship. Beside them sits the coveted MAWL Briefcase.

 

Aztec studies them in silence.

 

One by one, he begins gathering them into his arms.

 

The Television Championship balances against his shoulder.

The Tag Team Championships are draped over each arm.

The Midnight Rider Championship hangs awkwardly from his fingertips.

Then he reaches for the MAWL Briefcase.

Everything immediately collapses.

A championship crashes to the floor.

Another slips off his shoulder.

The briefcase falls flat with a metallic CLANG.

Aztec stares at the scattered collection for a long moment before letting out an exhausted sigh.

 

Aztec: "...This is becoming inconvenient."

 

He kneels beside the old snake sack.

 

The familiar hiss echoes from somewhere deep inside.

Aztec nods as if receiving ancient wisdom.

 

Without another word, he begins feeding every championship into the sack. The Television Title disappears first. Then both Tag Championships. The Midnight Rider Championship follows. Finally, the MAWL Briefcase vanishes inside before Aztec cinches the rope tight over the opening.

 

He slings the sack over one shoulder as though it weighs nothing.

 

Aztec: "So..."

 

He looks directly into the camera.

 

Aztec: "I hear MAWL is hosting Forbidden DoH."

 

A slow smile forms beneath the mask.

 

Aztec: "An appropriate name."

 

He pats the snake sack.

A louder hiss answers him.

 

Aztec: "Inside this bag are championships from kingdoms that welcomed me...and a briefcase that promises another."

 

He takes a step toward the camera.

 

Aztec: "I am not arriving to negotiate."

 

Another step.

 

Aztec: "I am arriving to collect."

 

His voice lowers into something almost amused.

 

Aztec: "So here's my offer."

 

He grips the rope of the snake sack.

 

Aztec: "At Forbidden DoH...I have an open challenge."

 

A pause.

 

Aztec: "One match."

 

Another pause.

 

Aztec: "One victim."

 

The hiss grows louder.

 

Aztec: "And I assure you..."

 

He tilts his head.

 

Aztec: "...it is an offer MAWL cannot refuse."

 

Aztec walks away, the snake sack bouncing against his back.

 

With every step...

Hiss...

Clink...

Hiss...

Clink...

 

Until both Aztec and the sack disappear into the darkness.

 

 

The lights flash on and off. Sounds of whirling, almost as if a gale has entered the arena.

 

 

Aztec stands in the middle of the ring, sack in hand.

 

 

Sam: This is why we are the best announcing team, because something like this feels right at home to us.

 

 

Dean: That's right. Suck it, MAWL standard announcing team.

 

Sam: So the nature of this challenge is that if you beat Aztec, you get to reach in his sack.

 

Dean: Giggity.

 

Sam: That big bag with him, idiot.

 

 

Charlie: Of course, we need to address the timeless Elephant God in the room. Aztec has yet to be defeated in a Singles Match, and Deck of Hearts' win-loss record is not inspiring confidence. 

 

Aztec: ...Well?

 

Lights out. The opening guitar of 'Rockstar' by Nickelback hits.

 

 

A giant cracked heart slams onto the screen, and splinters. Cracks slowly grow bigger and spread further across the display until the entire heart explodes into shattered glass. ROX STARR appears across the screen in jagged pink punk style lettering.

 

 

Rox bursts out, and pink pyro erupts spraying and shooting out in time with the music. She walks with rock girl energy to the ring, climbs the turnbuckle, points at herself, and lets out a scream.

 

Then she jumps from the turnbuckle into the ring with a double stomp, before rising up and throwing her hands up with devil horns. Then as the crowd cheers, and yells, Rox points at Aztec.

 

Rox: I accept.

 

 

Ryan G: The following contest is scheduled for one fall-

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Ryan G: Oh! Okay, that's pretty cool. I dig it. From Parts Unknown, weighing in at 180 Pounds, the Ancient One, AZTEC! And representing Deck of Hearts, from Muskegon, Michigan, ROX! STARR!!! 

 

The bell rings!

 

Sam: Aztec lifts Rox up by the neck and huge chokeslam right from the start. Lifting her up again, up in a Military Press and a Gutbuster.

 

Charlie: He doesn't want her touching his sack.

 

Dean: I wouldn't mind if she-

 

Aztec lifts Rox up again and Military Press launches her at Dean.

 

Dean: Well hello th-

 

Rox slaps him. 

 

Charlie: You deserved that. 

 

Sam: Ref once again not counting Rox, Aztec trying to get Ned to start the count and Ned refusing ROX BLASTS IN FROM THE SIDE WITH A DROPKICK! 

 

Charlie: Wait, I just realized... Cole wasn't included in the 3D plan. He got counted out. Ned refused to count Rox, but Cole wasn't given that advantage.

 

Dean: This certainly does give legs to the SM paid ZLI theory.

 

Sam: Rox keeping momentum up, taking the run, cartwheel into a knee drop! Trampolines off Aztec into a shooting star, going for the cover-

 

Ned: ONE! T-

 

Dean: Alright Aztec! Shoulder outta that! 

 

Sam: Starr with an arm drag, Aztec to his feet and arm drag right back, Starr takes a bounce on her back but able to get her hands down and backflip into a Pele Kick! Aztec stutters back but catches her before she touches down again, Tombstone NO ROX REVERSES INTO A HURACANRANA! Trying for the pin again-

 

Ned: ONE! T-

 

Charlie: She's just frustrating Aztec at every turn, but Aztec kicks up, gets her up and a high angle powerbomb!! Aztec to the legs and we're getting a King of Swing!! Her head hits the buckle!

 

Dean: Is that smart getting Rox to a corner? She can easily fly OH AZTEC WITH THE CHARGING BOOT TAKES HER RIGHT OUT OF THE RING! 

 

Sam: Starr struggling to get to her feet, but she's clearly out of the ring and once again Ned refusing to count despite Aztec's adamant arguing. Starr pulling herself up using the apron and Aztec helps her in by her hair. Mat slam drives her face to the ground. He's got her by the leg and it looks like we're getting an AZTEC LOCK!!! 

 

Dean: Add Rox Starr to the list of Deck's casualties, wait she's stretching herself out, she's got the rope! Aztec refusing to let go and Ned warning him sternly.

 

Ned: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

 

Charlie: Aztec breaks the hold ROX LIFTS HERSELF ON THE ROPE, NIGHTSHADES AZTEC! SHE'S CHOKING HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE AND NED REFUSING TO COUNT AGAIN!

 

Dean: Oh come on Ned, I'm rooting for Deck but not like this.

 

Sam: Aztec getting the full breadth now of the disadvantage he has, regaining control over his body and pulls them both back, he has Starr in an Electric Chair position ONE WINGED ANGEL! 

 

Ned: ONE! TWO! 

 

Charlie: Rox Starr kicks out!!! Aztec is PISSED, pulls her up into the Full Nelson! Standing Aztec Death Lock OH SHE REACHES HER FEET TO THE ROPES AND OPERATION DRAGON!

 

Ned: ONE! TWO!

 

Dean: Aztec's up! Yeah buddy!

 

Sam: Rolls back and gets her into the Full Nelson again, pulling her away from the ropes Aztec learns his lesson HORSE KICK TO THE DICK! Gets him on her shoulders STARR SLAM! She could end it right here, she's going to the top rope, looking for a Stage Dive Aztec...mimics opening a door on the mat? ROX FALLS THROUGH IT! REAPPEARING UP ABOVE AZTEC AND HE GETS HIS KNEES UP! 

 

Dean: It's not TECHNICALLY illegal!

 

Charlie: Dimensional Doors don't count as foreign objects?

 

Dean: He didn't hit her with it so.

 

Sam: They're both down but again, Ned refusing to count. The struggle is evident in both of these competitors. 

 

Charlie: Aztec crawling up first, not had good luck with the Full Nelson, trying it again with the Ankle oh and reverse dropsault ends that idea, oh Aztec still has hold of Rox's foot and Rox standing now on one foot trying to fight this move again.

 

Dean: Wait I think she's putting something in her shoe?

 

Charlie: You're being paranoid.

 

Sam: ENZUIGIRI BY ROX STARR! And the pin!

 

Ned: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Charlie: AZTEC'S FIRST LOSS IN MAWL IS DECK OF HEARTS' FIRST WIN TONIGHT!!!

 

Rox Starr wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Ryan G: Here is your winner, ROX STARR!!!

 

Sam: And this means that she gets to be the first to reach into the bag!!

 

Rox reaches in, and pulls out a Milo plushie

 

Rox: little dejected but keeping spirits up It’s cute I guess. Okay I can-

 

A hiss. The snake pops out, wraps itself around the Milo plushie and pulls it back in the bag, taking a second to look at Rox and hiss again before disapearing. A second then.

 

Rox: It took my prize. Aztec: So it appears.

 

Rox: Do I get another pick?

 

Aztec: One per victory.

 

Rox: BUT!

 

Aztec: You were unsuccessful in the defense of your prize.

 

Rox: sputtering

 

Aztec: You are free to challenge the snake to a rematch, if you so choose.

 

A hiss from the bag.

 

Rox walks out of the ring, victorious but dejected and empty handed.

 

Dean: Oh damn. The only winner from DOH so far and she still walks out head down. 

 

Charlie: Of course, there is one DOH member who hasn't had an official match yet-

 

Voice Over: Wrestling has only one HeartBreaker.

 

 

"No Good" By The Prodigy begins to play as the usual boos are not heard.

 

No. Not today viewers.

 

We are in Parts Unknown.

 

SM HeartBreaker country.

 

A place that is often only remembered thanks to this man. A place that has an economy thanks to this man. A place that has a MAWL show thanks to this Man.

 

Enter Home Town Hero, SM HeartBreaker.

 

 

POPMANIA RUNS WILD!

 

SM HeartBreaker is a little surprised by the reaction from the crowd, but then he remembers where he is.

 

SM HeartBreaker walks to the ring, armed with a microphone, looking at all the SM based signs in the crowd. He could get used to this.

 

Who are we kidding?

 

SM HeartBreaker steps into the ring as the crowd welcome home.

 

SM: Ladies and Gentleman! Parts Unknown. I am home!

 

Nuclear POPMania runs wild! The crowd almost riot with excitement as SM HeartBreaker addresses them.

 

SM: YOUR MAWL Inferno Champion is here! Representing a new fire that is igniting in this industry. It is only right I come out here in my home town to address my intentions for this business this year.

 

SM HeartBreaker holds up the MAWL Inferno Championship which immediately pops the crowd.

 

SM: I am to hold all of the gold. I aim to win every single championship that crosses my path. In every federation lucky enough to sign me. I am talking about Aztec Pro. 404. MAWL and any company that wants to pay me. I am taking titles and getting paid this year and there is no one on any roster in the world right now who can stand against me. I am simply, the best.

 

Better than allllll the rest! Better than any... Wait, SM HeartBreaker wasn't doing karaoke? SM HeartBreaker continues his monologue.

 

SM: And I am not talking about how I run THE single greatest stable of all time in the form of Deck of Hearts. I am talking about just me. SM HeartBreaker

 

POPMANIA at the mention of Deck of Hearts! Parts Unknown are cheering everything tonight!

 

SM: There is no one in this business I haven't beaten or proven that I am better than them. I have outlasted every so called "Big Name" in this business. I have outshined every "major star" in every promotion. I am just begging for someone to step up against me. Because while I am called one of the pillars of MAWL and some call me the face of MAWL. These nicknames are beneath me. I am literally a god in this business. My name is recognised in every promotion. It is the reason all eyes are on MAWL and this show tonight.

 

Unfortunately for SM HeartBreaker, the higher ups in MAWL wouldnt allow the show to be called "SM-Mania" So Forbidden DoH had to do.

 

SM: Look at the facts, has anyone else had their own show this year? GozuMania when? Nero Kingdom Where? Double or Joker who? Aztec in the bank What?

 

SM HeartBreaker smirks at himself.

 

SM: There will likely be more SM HeartBreaker based shows aired this season than an entire fed alone. Especially if this gets re-ran and split up into parts to make all that extra money.

 

Pew Pew Pew. Shots fired. I wonder who it hits?

 

SM: Honestly, I stand at the top of this business yet again, pleading for someone to even get close to my level. I am running year after year at my best, being the best on the mic, the best creatively and the best at winning.

 

SM HeartBreaker does his mandatory holding up of the MAWL Inferno Championship at the hint of winning championships.

 

SM: Because look at who is on this roster! Look at all my enemies and what they bring to my table. We have Aztec, the masked coward who won't show his true face but copies my strategy on becoming a legend by agreeing to appear in every promotion that pays him. Including the bad ones.

 

Someone is gonna be upset by that comment. The good feds won't care.

 

SM: Aztec. I know you are watching. You. Your freaky meow mask. Your out of pocket promo style. It doesn't compete with me. You try so hard to be an icon like me that you just can't seem to find your identity, Am I right? But on the opposite side of the coin is Physio Joker.

 

The crowd erupts! 4K Chants fill the arena!

 

SM: Joker. You have always been a rival to me, even if we are standing side by side or face to face. You think because you are exclusive to MAWL, you can steal my legacy? You think you can...

 

"JOKER"
"JOKER"
"JOKER"

 

SM: Guys Guys, please stop. Me and Joker ain't friends anymore. The 4 Kings of Wrestling doesn't exist anymore. We boo Joker now.

 

BOOOOMania runs wild to make up for the misunderstanding.

 

SM: Joker. Lets talk facts. I don't care if you want my job as the face of MAWL. I don't care if you want your Inferno Championship back. What I care about is the one thing that burns you. Every show. Every company. Every Pay Per View. That burning feeling you get when I am holding this microphone. Because Joker, every time you see this image in front of you. You know you are always 2nd to me. You know when it comes to cutting a promo. Only one person does it better and that is SM HeartBreaker.

 

FACTSMania runs wild in this arena tonight!

 

SM: Since we are on the topic of people running there mouths. Lets address the Jassy.

 

SM HeartBreaker waves to the camera.

 

SM: Hey Girl. Its me SM, I just want you to know. I see you. I hear you. I acknowledge you.

 

No fingers in the air. That would be weird.

 

Ryan Gosling glares. 

 

SM: I see you running around with your little group with a cool name. Sex Appeal. Yeah. It is pretty cool. Being tied with Zora Luthor International? Also super cool. You wanna know what is super cool?

 

SM HeartBreaker deadpans stares into the camera.

 

SM: Cutting a promo people actually see.

 

Skull emoji

 

SM: This isn't 404. This is MAWL. The big leagues. There isn't any thicc thigh submissions here. You want to step up and talk a good game. Then lets hear it. You want to fire shots about SM HeartBreaker. You better make sure you hit the target because I will fire back with more backshots than you can usually take.

 

Is that line allowed? surely that is breaking some fed rules?! Someone call an admin or a commissioner!?

 

SM: You won't be the first woman who thinks she can take on SM HeartBreaker. You think you can best me? Call up SlowMo Tapout. Ask her who ran her out of MAWL? Call up a beanie rat called Ashla Mari. Ask her why she isn't in the big leagues anymore? I am rated E for everyone and I will go to war with anyone.

 

Nuclear POPMania from this crowd as they know SM HeartBreaker is cooking right now. Alot of dishes are being served.

 

SM: Because if there is anyone who knows about War it is me. There isn't a single pillar in this company that is better than me. I see Scott Razor hasn't been the same since I destroyed him in the four pillars match. Speaking of, Lets talk about the other two pillars. No No. Nero has had enough air time. Lets talk about the important one. Gozu.

 

GASPMania as clearly SM HeartBreaker is getting carried away.

 

SM: You jus haven't been the same have you. You just haven't had the same edge you had when you took the MAWL Asylum Championship from me. You just ain't the same after I trained to out last you for 60 more seconds longer. Maybe its time you take that mask off and show everyone who you really are?

 

What is going on?! What is this reference?! Why did Nero get skipped?!

 

SM: Am I missing anyone? Lets see. Wildfire. Any time you wanna main event. Call me. I will make sure your dad gets a ringside seat as I kick your ass.

 

OHHHHHHHHMania after that unnecessary comment.

 

SM: Steve. Once you stop practicing your promos in the mirror. Come find me. I have a large dose of reality to drop on you, any time anywhere.

 

Invitation sent.

 

SM: X-Treme Society, keep taking those Ls in as many promotions you are spread out in because its best you stay out of my way while I am running this show. Except one of your members, who I have a special message for...

 

SM HeartBreaker pauses for dramatic effect.

 

SM: Meow Dante Rivera!

 

Copyrighted catchphrase by the way.

 

SM: And that is all I have to say. Because there is no one on the roster better than me. I am untouchable. Unbeatable. Undeniable. I am absolute. So whoever is coming out here tonight. You best turn back around because I already know you are someone I have already beaten.

 

 

Cue Music. Cue SM HeartBreaker's eyes widening in utter shock

 

 

’The Nobodies’ by Marilyn Manson plays in the background as clouds of smoke fill up the arena. Suddenly bright green pair of eyes grows with a green light appear to be a smile slowly appear in the smoke moving toward the stage.

 

Jackie steps out of the smoke onto the center of the stage and the bright green eyes and smile on the mask slowly fade away as the light comes back on. looks at the crowd. She takes her mask off to reveal her face for few moments before puts it back on.

 

 

She starts walking down the ramp slowly and stops halfway on the ramp. She places her hand on the mask, but she decides not to take it off.

 

She keeps looking forward and continues to walk down the ramp. She stops one more time and looks around at the crowd before she enters the ring. She skips around and waits for the match to start.

 

Sam: We've called SM since before MAWL was even a known entity, I don't know that I've ever seen him this unnerved. 

 

Ryan G: The following contest is our MAIN EVENT and it is scheduled f-

 

 

Ryan Reynolds snatches the mic from Ryan Gosling.

 

Ryan R: No! Bad! BAD! You do not get to take this from me. The following is our MAIN EVENT and it-

 

Ryan Gosling grabs the mic back.

 

Ryan G: I already said that part. The match is scheduled for 

 

They grapple the mic.

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

The two Ryans get into a tug of war, not noticing that Jackie's skipping has picked up speed. Or that the bell rings as Jackie BLASTS SM with the Instrument of Destruction!!! 

 

Dean: WHOA!

 

Ned: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Jackie the Ripper wins by Pinfall!