The room doesn’t feel important because of what’s in it. It feels important because of who is standing in it.

 

 

Aztec stands at the head of the table, completely still, arms folded, his presence forcing the rest of the room to settle whether they want to or not. The hum of the lights fades into the background as everyone adjusts—some willingly, some not.

 

 

Across from him, the MAWLiWOOD Blondes are trying to play it cool, but they’re not as relaxed as they were a minute ago. Mark Anderson has his phone in his hand, but he hasn’t scrolled in a while. Winston Lewis still has the Signal Tag Title resting on his shoulder, but now he’s gripping it a little tighter than before.

 

 

Sugar Cooki sits upright, focused, eyes locked in. She understands exactly what this is.

Cinnaman is standing on his chair.

 

Cinnaman:

“OH YEAH! THE SPICE IS—”

 

Aztec:

“Sit.”

 

Aztec doesn’t raise his voice. He doesn’t need to.

Cinnaman immediately sits down.

 

Cinnaman:

“…The spice is seated.”

 

Aztec steps forward once, and that single step quiets the room completely.

 

Aztec:

“Listen carefully, Tonight is not about spectacle. It is not about entrances. It is not about performance.”

 

His gaze shifts briefly toward Cinnaman.

 

Aztec:

“It is about impact.”

 

Cinnaman nods slowly. 

 

Cinnaman:

“Silent spice.”

 

Aztec begins pacing, slow and deliberate, choosing every step like it matters.

 

Aztec:

“Deck of Hearts does not lose because they are outperformed. They lose when something is taken from them. They lose when control is removed.”

 

He stops pacing and looks at all of them.

 

Aztec:

“And tonight, we take everything.”

 

That lands differently. The room tightens.

 

Aztec turns to Sugar first. 

 

Aztec:

“You do not match their rhythm. You break it before it starts.”

 

Sugar nods once. 

 

Aztec shifts to Cinnaman. 

 

Aztec:

“You are not the show tonight. You are what happens before the damage.”

 

Cinnaman blinks, then slowly nods. 

 

Cinnaman:

“…Weaponized spice.”

 

Aztec doesn’t react. He’s already moved on.

Then his attention shifts—and everything changes.

The Signal Tag Titles catch his eye.

The gold shines under the lights, and Aztec stops mid-step, completely still again. The Blondes notice immediately. Mark lowers his phone. Winston adjusts his posture.

 

Winston:

“…Oh, he’s looking at them.” 

 

Aztec walks closer, slow and deliberate, his eyes locked on the titles.

 

Aztec:

“Gold.”

 

Mark instinctively adjusts the belt on his shoulder. 

 

Mark:

“We’re good, right?”

 

Aztec doesn’t answer. His hand lifts slightly, hovering just near the plate without touching it.

 

Aztec:

“It remembers.”

 

There’s a beat of silence.

 

Winston:

“…I don’t like when it remembers.”

 

Aztec steps closer.

 

Aztec:

“You wear it like it cannot be taken.”

 

Another step.

 

Aztec:

“That is how it gets taken.”

 

That hits. Both Blondes straighten up immediately, their grip tightening, their posture shifting without them even realizing it. Aztec looks up at them.

 

Aztec:

“Defend those titles tonight like something is coming for them. Because something always is.”

 

No jokes now. Not from them. Aztec steps back, breaking the tension just enough.

 

Aztec:

“We hit Deck of Hearts harder than they have ever been hit. No hesitation. No rhythm. No mercy.”

 

Now everyone is locked in. Aztec turns toward the door.

 

Aztec:

“Win.”

 

He pauses just long enough to let it sit.

 

Aztec:

“Or be remembered for losing.”

 

Then he leaves. The hallway is quieter than it should be. The sound of the arena is there, but distant, like it belongs somewhere else. Aztec walks forward, alone, his steps steady and unhurried. Then he stops.

Because they’re already there.

 

 

Mal Sangre stands to the left, silent and still, arms folded. Tragedeigh stands to the right, composed, watching closely. And in the center, as always—

Ralph Silva. Smiling.

 

 

Ralph:

“Well, there he is.”

 

Aztec:

“You block my path.”

 

Ralph:

“I open doors. You just keep choosing not to walk through them.”

 

He takes a few steps forward, casual, controlled.

 

Ralph:

“I saw your meeting. You’re building again. Gathering people. Giving them purpose.”

 

A slight tilt of his head.

 

Ralph:

“You always do this part.”

 

Aztec doesn’t respond.

 

Ralph:

“And then you leave.”

 

He steps a little closer now.

 

Ralph:

“So I’ll ask you again. Out of every place you could be, out of every world you insist on wandering through…”

 

A small smile.

 

Ralph:

“Why not come home?”

 

There’s a long pause before Aztec answers.

 

Aztec:

“I do not belong to anything you build.”

 

Ralph nods like he expected it.

 

Ralph:

“You don’t think you do. But that’s never stopped it from being yours.”

 

He gestures toward the arena.

 

Ralph:

“All of that chaos out there? I can handle it. I can handle everything. No surprises. No disorder.”

 

A beat.

 

Ralph:

“No accidents.”

 

The word hangs. Then—

 

 

Fracture:

“…That’s the problem.”

 

The voice comes from behind Aztec. Close. Too close. Everyone shifts. Fracture is just there now, like he stepped out of a moment no one noticed. The cracked mask tilts slightly as he looks between them.

 

Fracture:

“You think you can control everything. But you can’t control the impact.”

 

He steps forward just enough to be seen fully.

 

Fracture:

“You can’t control how hard something hits.”

 

Ralph’s smile tightens just a fraction.

 

Fracture glances at Aztec, then back at Ralph.

 

Fracture:

“And tonight? They’re hitting harder than you planned for.”

 

Silence follows. Heavy. Uncomfortable. Aztec moves.

He steps forward, not toward Ralph, not toward Fracture—just through them. None of them stop him.

As he passes, he mutters quietly—

 

Aztec:

“Control is not power.”

 

He keeps walking. Doesn’t look back. Fracture watches him go, head tilted.

 

Fracture:

“…No, But it cracks.”

 

From the shadows nearby, a voice adds—

 

Sombras:

“…when struck correctly.”

 

Sombras doesn’t step out fully. He doesn’t need to. He’s there, and that’s enough. Ralph adjusts his cuffs, his smile returning, sharper now.

 

Ralph:

“Then we’ll see who breaks.”

 

The sound of the arena swells. Aztec disappears into it. And behind him— Black. Red. And something fractured… waiting for impact.

 

 

DECEMBER 6, 2025
BERLIN, GERMANY

OLYMPIASTADION BERLIN

 

 

Fireworks go off in Olympiastadion Berlin as Ice Nine Kills "Merry Axe-Mas" plays through the speakers. The crowd goes absolutely ballistic.

 

 

The camera pans over the audience as they continue to whoop and holler, ready for the destruction.

 

Simon (VO): The atmosphere is alive and the crowd is out of their seats. For some, it is because yesterday was Krampusnacht here in Berlin and they still have sore behinds. But for most, it is a feeling of electricity strong enough to power your neighbor's garish light display for 24 hours straight. For us here in MAWL, it's the last event of the year, and the last stop before the W2, and it's No Holds Barred ALLLLLLL NIIIIIGHT! 

 

The crowd pops.

 

 

Simon: I am here to bring out the year in the most painful, chaotic way possible, and no one I'd rather do it with than Kendra Mavis and Lightning Lenny Cruz!

 

Lenny: Damn good to be here Simon and you are not wrong about this crowd or this energy, and it's good that Krampus did his hard work last night here in Germany, because I hear he's here tonight to lend us his sack.

 

Kendra: What Lenny is saying so NO ONE gets the wrong idea is that two of Germany's Finest - SCHMETTERLIIIIING-

 

The crowd screams SCHMETTERLIIIIIIING!

 

Kendra: And Rufus-

 

One woman yells, "I love you Rufus!"

 

Kendra: Will be trying to prove to each other that you don't age out of the sack beating as they attempt to get each other in the giant adult-sized burlap bag. 

 

Lenny: And that's not even the 12th of it! We've got debuts, we've got rumbles, we've got cells, and we've got a WHOLE lot of pain comin' your way. 

 

Simon: And I see we're wasting NO TIME as the women are coming down to the ring for our kick-off match, the Advent Calendar Battle Royal.

 

Kendra: There's nothing super-holiday-specific about this match, though we do have some nutso holiday themed matches for you later on. It's just called the Advent Calendar because there's 25 fighters. 

 

 

The women come down to mixed responses, a smattering of cheers and boos.

 

 

Ash: The following is the Advent Calendar Battle Royal!! The winner of this match will earn an Epoch Title Shot on the Final Day of W2!!

 

The bell rings!

 

Kendra: Fists are flying, everyone is in full go mode OH and Pinoy Power Surge lives up to her name, that dropkick to Miu Watanabe clocks in at a Mach 3! And Miu is an early casualty!!

 

Miu Watanabe is eliminated by Pinoy Power Surge! (1)

 

Simon: Pinoy not even waiting for Miu to hit the ground, onto the other side and blasts Daria Donner over with a dropkick as well!! 

 

Daria Donner is eliminated by Pinoy Power Surge! (2)

 

Lenny: We're already down to 23! And one Lightning to another, I'm pumped for you sis!

 

Kendra: We're back to fists flying every which way. AM Brooks and Asuka trading blows - Asuka one of our new hires, I don't know HOW we pulled that one off but she's here and she's looking to hurt someone! Keta Rush and Pinoy Power Surge with the double running clothesline to Lucenza Rossi, Stephy Slays runs up and they give her a little boost, great Moonsault splash to Rossi! 

 

Simon: Team ups are great but alliances are by requirement temporary here in the ring. Flora Peligrosa coming to the aid now of AM Brooks, kick away to Slays, kick away to Surge, Keta's got her in a huracanrana and she tumbles back.

 

Lenny: Another new start with Fuka as she gets herself into a corner punch situation with Terra Formiga. Terra gets her by the arms, running sitout spinebuster AND ISABELLA WITH A RUNNING HIP DROP ON BOTH OF THEM! THE BUTT THAT WON'T QUIT! INSTAGATOR SMASHES HER IN THE HEAD WITH HER SELFIE STICK AND A GATOR ROLL, OH BUT EMI SAKURA INTERCEPTS WITH A RUNNING ELBOW DROP! 

 

Kendra: I never know why people interrupt each others' moves during matches like this. When I was in the ring, unless I had a problem with you I let you get yours and then came around to get you after. Emi's a ring veteran too so I really don't get that, oh and now she's paying for it with Isabella and Gator hitting her with a double suplex. 

 

Simon: Mayu Iwatani back body drop to Tiki Chamorro, but Tiki lands just shy of the ropes and she'll stay in this one. Jeannie Rose around with a Super Duper Kick to Iwatani to take her out, but Iwatani tangles herself in the ropes and she too will stay alive.

 

Lenny: Paragon taking a risk, takes 4 bodies down in one with that giant splash! Paragon's had a weird turn of events as she had betrayed Pen Gwen, then Pen Gwen betrayed her team and the two could have been in the same mentality but Paragon sought redemption. This is part of that redemption tour and I don't think a running bodyslam was an intended stop on that tour, but that's what Violet gives her. 

 

Kendra: Violet dragging her by her bob and holding her up for a clothesline, Cheyenne coming running with a boot but Paragon rolls out of the way and Violet eats boot instead! Violet sent over by Cheyenne!!

 

Violet is eliminated by Cheyenne! (1)

 

Lenny: Great timing by Paragon and she kips up with a headscissors takedown to Cheyenne. Our last new person in this match, I think her name was written simply as "Delilah", with a leapfrog over Paragon and frog splash to Cheyenne! 

 

Simon: Cora hits her with a running elbow drop and Cheyenne's night is getting worse. 

 

Lenny: She deserves it for what she did to her team at Thankless. That was unconscionable. 

 

Kendra: Sakura piling on with a crossface to Cheyenne and that's not gonna end her time in here but it certainly is gonna hurt. Mayu and Asuka working together on Rossi now, double arm twist and a brutal stereo high kick! 

 

Simon: We haven't talked much about The IK. 

 

Kendra: Not much to talk about, she's kept herself mostly out of the fray and oh here she comes now, cartwheel backflip and Terra catches her out, drops her with a Sidewalk Slam! OOF Keta with the basement dropkick to greet Terra! Flora Peligrosa with a running bulldog to Keta!

 

Lenny: Jeannie Rose has Fuka trapped in the ropes and laying her out with punches, Pinoy coming their way FUKA KICKS JEANNIE OUT OF THE WAY, PULLS THE ROPE! SEE YA PINOY!

 

Pinoy Power Surge is eliminated by Fuka! (1)

 

Simon: Sakura scoop slam to Iwatani, scoop slams Jeannie Rose on top of Iwatani! Scoop slam to Slays NO Slaus able to reverse into a bulldog. Gator yanks Dorothy's pigtails and pulls her into a ripcord knee! 

 

Kendra: Don't style your hair in a way that can be used against you.

 

Lenny: Can't argue that logic, but Paragon takes exception and Spear to Gator! 

 

Simon: Tragedeigh with the mist to Cora Zon! Unloading on her with fists, AM Brooks piling on and now Rossi piling on as well, it's an absolute beatdown! Cheyenne to her feet and joins the fun, Tiki and Jeannie Rose aren't having it, Tiki with a chop block to Cheyenne and mounting her for some head smashes!! Jeannie Rose with a jumping sleeper slam to Tragedeigh, Cora spins around and lariats AM right out of the ring!

 

AM Brooks is eliminated by Cora Zon! (1)

 

Kendra: Tragedeigh with the leg trip to Jeannie Rose, deadlift German Suplex ISABELLA RUNS TRAGEDEIGH OVER WITH THE BELLA BUSTER!! Jeannie Rose rolls to her feet, Jeannie gives Isabella a lift and Assisted Banzai!!! Tragedeigh gets squished!!!

 

Lenny: Paragon grabs InstaGator by her Gator schnozz and launches her out of the ring... GATOR TUCKS HER LEGS! SHE'S SAFE! And Paragon takes a lariat to the back of her head from Cheyenne for her troubles! Gator back onto the apron, uses the ropes for a somersault senton right onto Paragon. 

 

Simon: Flora Peligrosa choking Delilah out in the corner, Delilah struggling but she grabs her foot, slingshot into the turnbuckle! Delilah taking a run back, and charging forward with a Bronco FLORA MOVES! SHE HAS HER IN THE TREE OF WOE AND WE'RE BACK TO THE CHOKES.

 

Kendra: Delilah better hope she wizens up in the ring if she's gonna wanna see this match through. Iwatani with an Inverted Suplex to Flora brings relief to Delilah OH and she sit-ups to the top turnbuckle, grabbing and loading and springs into a moonsault on Iwatani! Thanks for your help, here's the moon.

 

Simon: IK with a run and springboards off the rope, Shooting Star Stunner to Delilah! Fuka with a Tornado DDT to Dorothy Damage! Keta Rush with the Irish Whip on Cheyenne, Cheyenne hits the corner, here comes Tiki and nails her with that Cannonball! 

 

Lenny: OH DAMN! CHEYENNE GETS CRUMPLED!

 

Kendra: Asuka to the top rope, looks like she has designs on Cheyenne but this isn't a wise move LUCENZA BOOTS HER OUT!!

 

Asuka is eliminated by Lucenza Rossi! (1)

 

Simon: The problem with a lot of ring experience can sometimes be that it comes with some egotism, that you think you can pull something off that you're still vulnerable to. Keta behind Lucenza and she tries to launch her over the ropes LUCENZA HOLDS ON, GETS HER LEGS ON KETA'S NECK AND NIGHT SHADES HER INTO THE ROP! SHE'S CHOKING HER OUT OVER THAT MIDDLE ROPE HERE COMES THE IK TO TRY TO CLOTHESLINE LUCENZA OUT BUT LUCENZA HOLDS ON AGAIN! 

 

Kendra: She's Teflon, this one! Dorothy Damage with a Northern Lights Suplex to Cora, as Fuka lays into Gator with the knees in the corner. Isabella charging the corner, lays them both out with a running hip drop! Going to the middle rope, a little bounce and does it Yokozuna-Style! 

 

Lenny: Cheyenne lariats Delilah over... no! Delilah holds on, backflip onto the top of the rope, backflips in and shotgun dropkick puts Cheyenne through OH but she goes through the middle rope and it won't count! Cheyenne going shopping under that apron, Delilah thinking to go for a Tope Con Hilo but remembering what kind of match she's in, Iwatani looking to take advantage but Delilah backflips over her and another shotgun dropkick, draping her on the middle rope and she's gonna go for the 619!! Running around and loading up that Tiger Feint OH quick thinking by Iwatani pushes Delilah out, but again it's through the middle rope so she's safe and shooting star off the apron onto Cheyenne!!! Cheyenne flattened but she pulls out a kendo stick, swings at Delilah, Delilah ducks it and a quick flurry of fists onto Cheyenne PARAGON WITH A SUICIDE DIVE THROUGH THE MIDDLE TAKES THEM BOTH OUT! 

 

Simon: As the three of them battle outside, Dorothy Damage once again finding her pigtails to be her downfall as Flora Peligrosa pulls them up and stands on her head, just mushing her face into into the mat! KETA RUSH SPEARS HER AND FLORA OUT OVER THE TOP...NO! SHE LANDS ON THE APRON KETA RUSH WITH A JUMPING ROUNDHOUSE KICK AND THAT'LL KNOCK HER DOWN!

 

Flora Peligrosa is eliminated by Keta Rush! (1)

 

Kendra: Tragedeigh with a flurry of headbutts has Formiga trapped in the corner, IK with a Stinger Splash to sandwich the both of them! Iwatani with a headlock on Rossi and unloading forearms on her, Irish Whips her and Cora meets her with a back body drop but JUST shy of the ropes. Rossi back to her feet and she gets the eyes of Cora and slashing her with chops. Cora attempting to fight back, Rossi deftly blocks and right back to it. 

 

Lenny: Paragon throws Delilah back into the ring, Lucenza has the opening to continue her exploration and Paragon tries to grab her too but Lucenza gets her in the ribs with a Kendo Stick!! 

 

Simon: Terra Formiga absolutely unloading on Isabella on the ropes... she doesn't see InstaGator and Insta flips them both over!!!

 

Terra Formiga and Isabella Van der Garde are eliminated by InstaGator! (1/2)

 

Kendra: Stephy Slays with a cartwheel handspring lariat to Iwatani. Tiki Chamorro taking it to Gator with forearm shots, belly to belly suplex! Keta Rush with a snap suplex to Tragedeigh, and Lucenza finally satisfied with her kendo beatdown on Paragon rolls her back in. Paragon gets herself over to a corner to catch her breath as Rossi re-enters the fray, and Tiki says no time to rest as she blasts Paragon with a cannbonball!

 

Simon: Jeannie Rose with a twisting armbar to Sakura, and catching her in the face with some solid knee shots. Fuka putting boots to Iwatani. Gator using the moment of respite to pull herself back to her feet. Dorothy Damage has The IK up and a spinning suplex! Lifts her again, tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! 

 

Lenny: She's really putting the hurt on her, lifts her up and another snap suplex HERE COMES KETA RUSH AND DOROTHY SENSES HER COMING, BACK BODY DROP OUT OF THIS MATCH!!

 

Keta Rush is eliminated by Dorothy Damage! (1)

 

Kendra: Fuka and Sakura going chop for chop, Paragon looks real flattened and she rolls out under the bottom rope to try to get a breather. 

 

Simon: Rossi giving a lot of lip to Paragon and here comes Stephy Slays with a single leg dropkick to take her over, ROSSI HOLDS ON AGAIN!

 

Lenny: Why won't you die?!

 

Simon: Fuka trying to push her over, Rossi gets Fuka's head in her legs and Guillotines her over the ropes, rolls herself into the ring. 

 

Kendra: Rossi's bolstered by the desire to prove herself to Sex Appeal that she's worth their time, apparently they haven't been returning her calls. 

 

Lenny: Oh no. Please don't tell me there's infighting in ZLI. 

 

Kendra: Ok, that's not necessary. And Cora Zon arm drags Iwatani outta this one!

 

Mayu Iwatani is eliminated by Cora Zon! (2)

 

Simon: Tragedeigh attempts to dump Cora over, Cora fighting back with punches to the open side of the face, OH she yanks Tragedeigh's mask off!!! Headbutt by Cora! Another one! 

 

Lenny: She's made a powerful enemy just now. And Tragedeigh trying to get a grip oof and a throat chop'll do it. 

 

Simon: A regular Chop'll Groan. 

 

Kendra: Congratulations. That was your worst pun probably ever. 

 

Simon: You're welcome, Germany.

 

Lenny: Fuka holding onto Gator's snout, it's effective in subduing Gator and Fuka with mid kicks as we're near the halfway point of this match! 

 

Kendra: And it looks like we might get that halfway point now as Delilah and Rose each grab a pigtail of Dorothy and whing her out of the ring!! 

 

Dorothy Damage is eliminated by Delilah (1) and Jeannie Rose (1)!

 

Simon: She's definitely cutting those going forward.

 

Lenny: Slays and IK working Paragon in the corner, double Irish Whip, Paragon slammed into the other corner and IK launching Slays into her! Big splash and Slays whips her back over to IK, IK intercepted by Cheyenne with a boot to the temple! Paragon has no one to stop the momentum and slammed into that other buckle! And here comes Tiki, she's really on point with those Cannonballs today! Cora has Fuka in a headlock and DDT! You can hear the head bounce! 

 

Simon: Delilah with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors to Rossi, rolls herself out under the bottom rope, onto the Apron and she's...signaling turning off the lights... I don't think it's Lights Out, that's Balor Wolfe's thing, but definitely having something going on AND A CORKSCREW 450!!! Springboard Corkscrew 450!!! From what my draft report tells me, that's the Delighted OH okay I see where the hand signal comes in.

 

Lenny: It was smart of her to go through the bottom rope, that way if anyone tried to knock her off the apron she'd still be in.

 

Kendra: Yes, but once she got on the top rope and her toes were in the ring space, she would've been considered over the top so let's not give TOO much credit here. Risky as hell.

 

Lenny: I wonder whatever happened to Wolfe, since he vanished on us.

 

Simon: One can only guess. Sakura unloading bionic elbows now on Fuka, Tragedeigh has Cora once again in the corner and she's using her mask as a weapon, just slamming it into Cora's face! 

 

Lenny: Beautiful kick combo by Slays on Lucenza in the other corner. IK and Cheyenne exchanging blows on the ground, Cheyenne pokes the eyes and grabs IK by her hair, brutal mat slam! Pulling the hair and really going in on that face rake. 

 

Kendra: Paragon joining Slays over in the corner and they try to lift Rossi over the corner, out on the apron and they're successful and Rossi is finally o-NO ONE FOOT LANDED ON THE STEPS! ROSSI MAY BE WALKING FUNNY AFTER TODAY BUT SHE'S STILL IN THIS THING! Paragon can NOT get this done!

 

Simon: You know who can? Jeannie Rose! Super Duper Kick takes Emi Sakura out of this match!! 

 

Emi Sakura is eliminated by Jeannie Rose! (2)

 

Lenny: TIKI DROPKICKS JEANNIE RIGHT OUT AFTER HER!

 

Jeannie Rose is eliminated by Tiki Chamorro! (1)

 

Simon: DELILAH FLIPS TIKI RIGHT OUT AFTER HER!! THIS IS A MASSACRE!!

 

Tiki Chamorro is eliminated by Delilah! (2)

 

Kendra: Slays switches up and decides to work with Lucenza instead, they Irish Whip Paragon, Paragon coming back around DOUBLE CLOTHESLINES THEM OUT!!! DID IT...YES! LUCENZA'S FEET ARE ON THE GROUND! SHE FINALLY GOT IT DONE!! AND SLAYS ALONG WITH IT!!

 

Stephy Slays and Lucenza Rossi are eliminated by Paragon! (1/2)

 

Simon: That alliance attempt did NOT pay dividends for Stephy Slays, and she and Lucenza battling to the back now.

 

Lenny: Tragedeigh now attempting a Rope Assisted Knee, Cora takes advantage and flips Tragedeigh out!

 

Tragedeigh is eliminated by Cora Zon! (3)

 

Kendra: The action breaking down now into three pairs, Delilah and Fuka in an arm drag square-off, Cheyenne and IK still tumbling around with each other on the ground exchanging blows, Cora Zon and Paragon grappling... and InstaGator just kicking back. She'd rolled under the ring and now has her Selfie-Stick and Phone, I think she's taking this on Insta Live!

 

Simon: Delilah switching it up, responds to Fuka's arm bar with a high angle dropkick, coming off the ropes and from the middle rope, Asai Moonsault! IK has Cheyenne in a headscissor hold and elbow shots to the face, Cheyenne trying to fight to her feet and IK drags her back down. Cora has Paragon lifted up, End of Heartache!! 

 

Lenny: Paragon in a bit of a weakened state for sure, Cora in control of the fight as she locks a Fujiwara on her.

 

Kendra: Cora and IK are aware of what you need to do to win this, right?

 

Simon: Delilah and Fuka looking at each other, looking around, looking at each other again... Delilah yanks IK off Cheyenne and tosses her over the top!! 

 

The IK is eliminated by Delilah! (3)

 

Kendra: Fuka gets Cheyenne up, and takes her to the edge of the ropes! Oh, it looks like Cora and Paragon have caught wind of Insta taking a long break, Cora helps Paragon up, Fuka flips Cheyenne by her feet over the ropes! See ya Cheyenne!

 

Cheyenne is eliminated by Fuka! (2)

 

Lenny: Cora and Paragon charging Insta, SHE PULLS DOWN THE ROPES AND SENDS THEM BOTH OVER THE EDGE!

 

Cora Zon and Paragon are eliminated by InstaGator! (3/4)

 

Simon: InstaGator can't help herself, she leans over the ropes to take a selfie with her quarry FUKA FLIPS HER OVER! THAT'LL RUIN THE SHOT FOR SURE! 

 

InstaGator is eliminated by Fuka! (3)

 

Lenny: And then there were two DELILAH FLIPS FUKA OVER!! 

 

Fuka is eliminated by Delilah! (4) Delilah wins!!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner!! DELILAH!!!

 

Simon: And our newest member has come in already scoring herself a shot at the Big Time! And- 

 

 

Colin: First of all, congratulations to our newest roster member Delilah!! What a way to debut.

 

Now. It's come to my attention that Mansin does not have a Dead Air Title match scheduled. Now, the stipulation of maintaining the Dead Air Title is that it must be defended every show. SO. Here's what's going to happen.

 

Our next match is our White Elephant Eliminator Match. One of the boxes contains the ability to replace Mansin in the 8 Crazy Fights match and at least one other will determine his challenger for the Dead Air Title. They are within the 20 boxes, along with other... situations. Some good, some not as good. At least there's no firing this time.

 

So let's get it going! Ash?

 

Ash: The following contest is the White Elephant Eliminator Match! Eliminations occur by pinfall or submission, and can happen anywhere in the main arena area! As you are eliminated, you will pick a present box. That will be yours, unless subsequent eliminated contestants steal it from you, in which case you must pick again or steal. Stealing can only happen 3 times per box until it is locked. The winner will have all prizes made available, and will also be added to a title match of their choice on the final day of W2!

 

 

The contestants come in line to the ring, preparing to fight. But-

 

Simon: Wait, I only count 19. But there are definitely 20 boxes.

 

Lenny: We're gonna get a mystery guest? These are always fun.

 

Kendra: Last time that happened the mystery was a little underwhelming, hopefully this surprise is better.

 

 

The crowd goes WILD.

 

Simon: Waaaait a minute... did...did we land Hikaru Shida??

 

Lenny: I think we must have! HIKARU SHIDA IS HERE!

 

A brutal laugh cuts through the music as the song fizzes and fades to-

 

 

The Hikaru Shida on the tron morphs to "KIRI KRUEL" as the former Hikaru Shida comes out in a black leather spiky outfit and holding a black Kendo Stick.

 

 

Kendra: -And she's coming in as part of the re-formed Kruel. This is amazing.

 

Kiri struts to the ring as the cheers turn to boos, and slides under the bottom rope. The bell rings as she cracks the Kendo Stick across the face of Lazer!! 

 

Simon: The newest member of Kruel immediately taking to her new vibe as she gets her feet up on the rope and leverages a pin on Lazer.

 

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Lazer is eliminated by Kiri Kruel! (1)

 

Kendra: She draws first blood and we're gonna see what's in one of these boxes real quick.

 

 

Lazer opens the first gift to find...

 

 

Lenny: Lazer's goin' to the Next Level Match!

 

Simon: IF she holds onto that box. It can be stolen by people who've lasted longer.

 

Kendra: And now that people see what some of these possibilities are, it's getting CRAZY in there. Gilberto with a bodyslam to El Cerrador, spins around with a clothesline taking Rina off her feet, Slang Dang up behind Gilberto and getting him into a Cobra Clutch and trying to lift him up for the suplex but Gilberto grounding himself OH ACE ANARCHY GETS THAT STATE OF DECAY SPEAR ON BOTH OF THEM!! RINA SNEAKS UP BEHIND ACE AND ROLLS HIM UP!!!

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Simon: WHAT JUST HAPPENED??

 

Ace Anarchy is eliminated by Rina! (1)

 

Lenny: Ace is just as surprised, but he's heading to the table. Choosing not to take the match from Lazer, he's instead going to grab a new box.

 

 

Ace Anarchy opens the box to find...

 

 

Kendra: Wait no one said money was a possibility. But Anarchy just made 5K for being eliminated! 

 

Lenny: Is this going to incentivize people to get eliminated?? Wonderwolf and El Cerrador with a double suplex to Slang Dang, Golly Gong absolutely unloading punches on US Rae in the corner, and Cellula loading chops and fists on Tyler Hayes in the opposite corner. Gilberto yanks Rina up and blasts her with a Western Lariat. Lottie Axo jumps on his back, he gets her out with a Backpack Stunner! 

 

Simon: Daniel gets the mask on and he's just tearing through swaths of people!! Runs down Wolfgunblud and Danielle Fishel with a humongous double clothesline! Rips Cellula off Tyler Hayes and throws him right back into Tyler Hayes!! He's not messing around this time, still pissed about losing his belt.

 

Kendra: Can you blame him?

 

Simon: I guess not, and he's just going wild, double chokeslam to Wonder and Cerrador, grabbing both Gong and Rae and German Suplex!! He tries to pin them both but they roll out pretty much right away, Kiri Kruel on Daniel's back, she's trying to get the mask off him, Gilberto J with the Double Team and unloading punches to Daniel's ribs, Solemn Guardian from out of nowhere spins Gilberto around and HOLY PRECIPICE STUNNER! Cover-

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Gilberto J is eliminated by Solemn Guardian! (1)

 

Lenny: Gilberto also choosing not to steal. I can't blame that choice, there are still many surprises out there including the ability to replace Mansin or the chance to fight him.

 

 

Gilberto J opens the gift to find...

 

 

Kendra: For the first time, the Iron Survivor Match will start with three people rather than 2, but that's equivalent to a title shot for Gilberto should he not have it stolen from him. 

 

Simon: Wonderwolf trying the Full Nelson Suplex on El Cerrador and going for the pin-

 

DAJ: ONE! T-

 

Lenny: Cerrador kicking out quickly, rolls backwards and into a jawbreaker on Storm Rider! Locking Storm Rider into a crossface, Storm trying to fight out and High Flyer Mono will do it for them with a wild Moonsault! Trying to cover both and he's tossed off with ease, Ishani trying to get Lottie into a Fujiwara, Lottie with a flip and she looks she dislocated her arm trying to get out of that hole but an arm wringer flip gets Ishani onto the ground, Slang Dang back around and takes Lottie down with a sling blade, it's just a pile of chaos here!

 

Simon: Kiri successful in getting Daniel's mask off and she puts it on herself, and... nothing happens? The mask rejects Kiri, Daniel charges her and a running clothesline absolutely flips her! WGB leapfrogs Daniel and elbow drop to Kiri but he ends up right in the arms of Cellula and Cellula with the Ghost Step Spinebuster! Going for a pin, Slang Dang pulls him up off the pin and DANG A SLANG SLAM!!! 

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE! 

 

Cellula is eliminated by Slang Dang! (1)

 

Kendra: I've said this before, but I don't get why people don't just let people get eliminations, he could have waited for Kiri to get eliminated and then gotten Cellula. 

 

Lenny: Well this means that Cellula is going to go for the boxes, and no one seems to be invoking the steal here, going for a new box.

 

 

Cellula opens the box to find...

 

 

A single dollar bill.

 

Lenny: Colin did say that some of these gifts were not going to be amazing. Up til now there was no reason to steal, everything was a potential win, but Cellula is the first to see that going for a random pick may not be the best call.

 

Kendra: And that sucks for Cellula, people are unlikely to steal the single dollar. 

 

Simon: That's the risk you take in a match like this, and I think now everyone is changing up their strategies. Slang's gambit didn't work for him either, Kiri Kruel is just blasting him with perfectly aimed toe kicks to his throat and a spin kick rattles his skull! 

 

Lenny: US Rae and Fishel working Lottie Axo in the corner with traded chops, Ishani sliding in the ring and she's adding a chair to the mix, trapping Lottie with the chair and it's a triple boot! That's just pure boot-ality! Goddammit Simon your bad jokes are infectious.

 

Simon: Well done. Cerrador, Mono, and Hayes to the rescue of Lottie, triple German Suplex takes the mean girls away from the corner, and Cerrador locks Danielle Fishel in the El Cerrón!! Has those legs in all sorts of peril and Fishel isn't gonna be able to keep it together!

 

Kendra: Once again she's been canceled! 

 

Danielle Fishel is eliminated by El Cerrador! (1)

 

Lenny: And Danielle is going to seek her box, despite the dollar dollar bill y'all she's gonna try her luck with the unopened boxes.

 

 

Danielle Fishel opens her box to find...

 

 

Kendra: So the mystery of the Dead Air Title Match is solved, it'll be a Bloodstar Match. Which means there are three more of those boxes likely lurking around.

 

Lenny: You know I was just thinking how we didn't have a Bloodstar Match tonight. 

 

Simon: The question becomes do you want to enter a Bloodstar Match with someone as intense as Mansin? There's now as much risk of getting your face bashed in brutally as there is in getting a crap prize.

 

Kendra: Solemn Guardian drops US Rae with the Holy Precipice WOLFGUNBLUD SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT TAKES HIM DOWN TOO!! WGB GOES FOR A DOUBLE PIN!!!

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Solemn Guardian and US Rae are eliminated by Wolfgunblud! (1/2)

 

Lenny: What happens when two people are pinned at once with the drawing? 

 

Simon: It's whoever gets up first, and that's gonna be US Rae!! Oh wait it may be about to be three, Rina with a schoolgirl on WGB!!! 

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Wolfgunblud is eliminated by Rina! (2)

 

 

US Rae opens the gift to find...

 

 

that she is potentially added to the Endocytosis Match!

 

Lenny: Today's matches are just getting bigger by the moment... and now it's Solemn's turn and he's going to be the first to steal!!

 

 

Solemn Guardian steals the $5000 from Ace Anarchy!!

 

Lenny: Ace also choosing to steal!! 

 

 

Ace Anarchy steals the Next Level Match spot from Lazer!

 

Kendra: See? He's not the good guy he makes himself out to be. He didn't do this earlier but now he had NO problem with it. Lazer choosing to go back to the table-

 

 

Lazer opens the gift to find...

 

 

-the second Spot in the Dead Air Bloodstar Match!

 

Simon: Beware the sparkle, for it hides poison.

 

Lenny: And our first steal sequence has changed the game. But if you want the Bloodstar Match, how do you choose who to steal from? 

 

Kendra: You ask yourself who you'd rather not fight. In this case it's Danielle Fishel or Lazer are the choices to replace. I think I could take either of them personally. And now what's Wolfgunblud gonna do? Oh he's gonna Steal! The floodgates are open!!!

 

 

Wolfgunblud steals the Iron Survivor Spot from Gilberto J!

 

Kendra: And Lazer seems to be a favored target, Gilberto is heading her way!

 

 

Gilberto J steals the Bloodstar spot from Lazer!

 

Lenny: Seems he'd rather stick it to US Rae than to Lazer, who is going back to the table.

 

 

Lazer opens the box to find...

 

 

...$10,000!!

 

Simon: If she was a target before, she's certainly a target now!! 

 

Lenny: And Golly Gong lands a knockout punch on Storm Rider, and that money may soon be his if she can pull this off!

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Storm Rider is eliminated by Golly Gong! (1)

 

Kendra: TYLER HAYES SNEAKS A BACKSLIDE PIN ON GOLLY GONG!

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Golly Gong is eliminated by Tyler Hayes! (1)

 

Kendra: I don't wanna hear any high horse oh this person is so beloved, they're all rats. And naturally, Storm Rider is heading away from the unopened gifts and that money is as good as gone.

 

 

Storm Rider steals the $....$5000 from Solemn Guardian?

 

Kendra: Wait... what? What was THAT move?

 

Simon: The logic, I assume, is that the $5000 can only be stolen one more time, whereas he can get that $10K lifted more easily. 

 

Kendra: Right, but... once someone else takes the $5K it's gone. He could always have stolen the $10K back.

 

Storm Rider's proud expression changes as he hears the announcers bring up something he didn't know he could have done. The camera captures the moment perfectly.

 

 

Simon: Well...pour one out for Storm Rider. Now Golly Gong has to wait until this chain is completed before making her pull, and people just unloading on each other in the ring as this all goes down. Solemn Guardian decides to steal as well.

 

 

Solemn Guardian steals Gilberto J's spot in the Bloodstar Match!

 

Kendra: THAT... that is smart stealing. Better to not have to deal with Gilberto. Gilberto NOT gonna risk the table of unopened gifts.

 

Simon: Don't make him sound cowardly. He just knows what he wants.

 

 

Gilberto J steals Ace Anarchy's place in the Next Level Match!

 

Lenny: Does Gilberto have 2 friends he can make a team with or is he just planning to clone himself twice? Ace chooses to go for the table!

 

 

Ace Anarchy opens a gift to find...

 

 

...the #2 spot in the Spring Fling!

 

Simon: This confirms 2 things. One, that the Spring Fling is back this year, and two, that Ace Anarchy as of right now will be starting that match.

 

Kendra: I'd even say it confirms 3 things, because it would be weird to have the #2 spot in a box without #1, so I assume #1 is out there as well.

 

Simon: That makes sense. And now, Golly Gong is choosing to avoid the chaos and go right for the boxes.

 

 

Kendra: Oh, she picks a cute little box.

 

Golly Gong opens the box to find...

 

 

A 1 VS 1 MATCH AGAINST ERADICUS!

 

Lenny: Oh. Oh no.

 

Simon: Big things come in small packages. And I fear for Golly Gong, I don't think anyone's gonna be quick to take that from her.

 

Kendra: Half the people are eliminated and half the boxes are opened. We know that two spots in a Bloodstar Match are out there, we know the Replace Mansin box is out there, and it can reasonably assumed that one of these boxes has the #1 slot for Spring Fling, so we know about half of what's left. And 5 total mysteries, though I have to believe it can't get worse than fighting Eradicus.

 

Lenny: El Cerrador trying to keep Mono grounded with an Anaconda Vice, Rina with an Irish Whip to Ishani, Ishani snaps back around with a huge boot sending Rina roiling and rolling. Kiri absolutely destroying Lottie in the corner with kicks to the midsection. Daniel with a brutal German Suplex to Slang Dang. Wonder and Hayes are trading armbars trying to get one over on each other. 

 

Kendra: Wonder switches it up for a combo arm and leg lock, trying to spread the pressure on Hayes, but Hayes able to maneuver his body into a small package rollup!

 

DAJ: ONE! 

 

Simon: Wonder kicks, Irish Whips Hayes, catches him into a huracanrana pin-

 

DAJ: ONE!

 

Kendra: Hayes rolls his body back!

 

DAJ: ONE!

 

Lenny: Wonder kicks again, and he and Hayes trading arm drags now. It looks like Kiri has tried with the mask again and it's actually taking this time, as her kicks are speeding up and the chops she's adding are echoing on the chest of Lottie like it's a concert chamber hall! Daniel senses a disturbance in the force and it distracts him enough for Slang Dang to take control of their battle, German Suplex! And another! And a third! Daniel lookin' a little wobbly wibbly and Slang Dang capping it off with a Back Wheel Kick! Slang to the top rope, getting his feet around the turnbuckle and the Mask seems to know even if Kiri isn't aware, as she instinctively shakes the top rope and sends Slang tumbling down!

 

Simon: Well it's certainly giving Kiri access to the Kruel part as she pushes her other arm deep into the neck of Lottie! Lottie's eyes are bulging outta her head! Lottie desperately trying to pull Kiri away, Daniel with the assist as he pulls her away with a full nelson suplex and trying to pull the mask off her, it's a struggle but he does it but it gives Ishani the chance to low blow him! He drops the mask again and Ishani with a La Magistral roll! 

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Daniel is eliminated by Ishani! (1)

 

Kendra: Daniel grabs his mask but the damage is done, and Rina once again being opportunistic with a schoolgirl rollup on Ishani!

 

Ishani is eliminated by Rina! (3)

 

Lenny: Daniel going for the Steal-

 

 

Daniel steals the $5000 from Storm Rider! The $5000 is locked!

 

Kendra: Told you. That's money that Storm isn't gonna get back, and Daniel is guaranteed to keep. 

 

 

Storm Rider steals Wolfgunblud's spot in the Iron Survivor Match! 

 

Lenny: He didn't learn his lesson, he's stolen something once again that the person who takes it from him will lock. And Wolf is over in the Steal area, oh it looks like Ace is talking to him, I think we have the area mic'd. 

 

Ace: Hey, look man, if you're not resilient enough to win the Spring Fling from spot 2, I ain't gonna question you.

 

WGB: I could win from 2! I could win from 1! I'm the best out there. 

 

Ace: Whatever you say, mate.

 

WGB: Give me that. 

 

 

Wolfgunblud "steals" the #2 spot in the Spring Fling from Ace Anarchy!

 

Ace: Good as.

 

Kendra: Wow, Ace just outsmarted Gun. Ace Anarchy is looking around and he sees his move.

 

 

Ace Anarchy steals back the Next Level Match from Gilberto J! The Next Level Match Spot is locked!

 

Simon: You just KNOW that Storm Rider is kicking himself on this one. He could have done that with $10K. 

 

Lenny: Nobody wants to make themselves vulnerable on that right now and make that move. Gilberto is pissed, and he's...he didn't...

 

 

Gilberto J steals the 1 v 1 against Eradicus from Golly Gong...

 

Kendra: The man clearly wants to fight. I don't know if he thought that through entirely. Golly sees 10 boxes, and choosing to take her chances.

 

 

Golly Gong opens a new box to reveal-

 

 

...A Year's Supply of Slaughter Beach Party™️ Frozen Banana Pizza.

 

Kendra: Leave it to Steve Thunder to use this match to market his weird-ass pizza obsession.

 

Simon: Ishani knows with 9 boxes left and 4 boxes being known, there's at least a 1 in 3 chance of getting a title shot.

 

 

Ishani opens a box to reveal-

 

 

...the #1 spot in the Spring Fling!

 

Kendra: Yep. There we go.

 

Simon: She does see herself as #1 and this is perhaps a Monkey's Paw.

 

Lenny: And with this we're down to 8, somehow including Rina. She's been getting in there and getting her pins in. 

 

Simon: In addition to Rina, we've got Wonderwolf, Lottie Axo, El Cerrador, Kiri Kruel, Tyler Hayes, High Flyer Mono, and Slang Dang left in this. Mono heading up to the top, taking a risk and Kiri ensuring it doesn't pay off with a jumping high kick, she gets Mono up on her shoulders and driving his back into the turnbuckle with a Majo No Ichigeki!

 

Lenny: She keeps herself moving and bouncing around the buckle, Gamengiri to Hayes! Slang Dang running and catches Kiri with a DDT! Lottie locking Kiri in a single leg crab, Kiri struggling a bit but trying to push herself up, Lottie spins herself around switches it up to an Elevated Ankle Lock! 

 

Kendra: Rina launching herself from the top in a general direction, just kinda hoping she hits SOMETHING, she lands on Wonder and Cerrador with a Splash but the momentum carries her away from a pin, Mono springboard and a Lionsault to Cerrador and Wonder, Mono also rolls off and right into the arms of Tyler Hayes!

 

Simon: Hayes locks Mono in a Full Nelson submission! Mono looks like he's starting to fade.

 

Lenny: Problem with a back-locked submission, you create a whole-ass blindspot on the ground, don't know how Cerrador got over but he yanks Tyler's legs out from beneath!!! Schoolboy gets them both down!! 

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Tyler Hayes and High Flyer Mono are eliminated by El Cerrador! (2/3)

 

Kendra: Mono crumples and Tyler will be the first up. Tyler heads over, and of course he's going to steal because your heroes are not really heroes.

 

 

Tyler Hayes talks to Wolfgunblud and shakes his hand and gives him a hug as he relieves him of his #2 Space. Wolf breathes relief.

 

Simon: You were saying?

 

Kendra: Oh shut up.

 

Wolfgunblud smiles as heads towards the table when Gilberto spins him around and hits him with the snap Double Underhook DDT, Factor G! 

 

 

Wolfgunblud "steals" the 1 v 1 against Eradicus from Gilberto J! Gilberto J heads to the table-

 

 

Gilberto J opens a box and receives-

 

 

Lenny: I mean, that's a good deal. But what's a Year's Supply? I go through three in a day.

 

Kendra: There are now only 7 boxes. We still have 2 Bloodstar slots and the Mansin replacement, so High Flyer Mono has a fairly good shot at something worthwhile, and it's clear he sees that too.

 

 

High Flyer Mono opens a box and receives...

 

 

Mansin's spot in 8 Crazy Fights!

 

Kendra: And now we know who's in pole position to get that space, and we know that 1 in 3 of what's left is a Bloodstar Match. What else could be hiding in the darkness? Who can say.

 

Simon: 6 left, and the battle is closing in, Kiri still trapped in that ankle lock and she's trying to kick away Lottie, she goes for the Dropsault and Lottie releases her just in time, duck back and Kiri faceplants! LOTTIE STANDS ON KIRI'S BACK AND PULLS BOTH ARMS ALL THE WAY UP! SHE'S TRYING TO RIP THEM OUT OF HER SOCKETS!! PÉRDIDA DE EXTREMIDAD!!! KIRI DESPERATELY TRYING TO HOLD ON BUT THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH AND SHE USES HER FOOT TO TAP!!!

 

Kiri Kruel is eliminated by Lottie Axo! (1)

 

Lenny: A one in three chance, it looks like Kiri's goin' for the boxes!

 

 

Kiri Kruel opens the box and-

 

 

-IS BARRED FROM ANY TITLE MATCH UNTIL TAXIDERBY!

 

Kendra: That... that's sick.

 

Lenny: Would you say it's...KRUEL?

 

Simon: Some part of me feels like she deserved that.

 

Lenny: At this point it's better to try to get people out as soon as possible, each chain eventually has to end with one of those boxes being open, and the more choices you have the better off you'll be.

 

Kendra: We're down to Rina, Wonderwolf, El Cerrador, Slang Dang, and Lottie Axo, and I would not have ventured a guess that this would have been our final 5. Gun to my head, didn't see it coming. 

 

Lenny: No shade to Rina, but part of me thinks she's getting away with this because people underestimate her and don't bother with her, and then she sneaks in and snipes wins. Like right now you can see, Wonder is dropping Slang Dang with a Northern Lights Suplex and Lottie has Cerrador in that Elevated Ankle Lock, Rina's just being left entirely out of the conversation here and I'm tellin' you right now someone is gonna pay for that. 

 

Simon: Wonder tries to bridge Slang for a pin-

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO!

 

Simon: And Slang kicks out! They both roll to their feet and Slang pushes Wonder back with a standing dropkick! Taking a run, Springboarding and a 450 Splash! Going for the pin-

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO!

 

Kendra: Wonder kicks, Slang gets him up to his shoulders and he's going for the Dang a Slang Slam... WONDERWOLF GETS HIS FEET ON THE TOP ROPE AND REVERSES INTO A BLOCKBUSTER! 

 

Lenny: Cerrador kangaroo kicks Lottie back, Backflip into a Headscissors takedown and Cerrador is finding himself in control of this match! Looking to get the Crossface in, Lottie gets some footing and Sliced Bread! Going for the pin-

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! T-

 

Simon: El Cerrador kicks! Cerrador taking a run back, charging Lottie, Lottie docks the clothesline and gets behind him! She's looking to set up that Crossface Chickenwing, twisting his arm and reaching for the face CERRADOR JUDO FLIPS HER OVER! 

 

Kendra: Wonderwolf looking for that Kimura, looking to get the Wolf Lock in, Slang Dang takes his free arm to Wonder's legs and gets him up on the Shoulders, could be a Dang a-RINA FROM BELOW PULLS HIS LEGS DOWN INTO A PRAWN HOLD PIN!

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Slang Dang is eliminated by Rina! (4)

 

Lenny: I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN. THAT'S FOUR FALLS SHE'S SNIPED. CERRADOR FROM BEHIND HER, GETS HER ATTENTION ENOUGH TO LOCK IN EL CERRÓN!!! WONDERWOLF TURNS HIS ATTENTION TO LOTTIE AND LOCKS HER IN THE CRY WOLF!!! 

 

Kendra: Slang Dang going to collect his quarry while these two are in a tapout race.

 

Simon: Looks like the choice is about to be made for him, Wolfgunblud pays it forward and drops him with a clothesline to the back of the head! He puts his "gift" in Slang Dang's hands! What in the Davy Jones' Locker!

 

 

 

Slang Dang "steals" Wolfgunblud's 1 v 1 against Eradicus!! 1 v 1 against Eradicus is locked!

 

Simon: Pour one out for Slang Dang, this did NOT go at all how he planned and there's nowhere it can go now. 

 

 

Wolfgunblud steals back the #2 Spot in the Spring Fling from Tyler Hayes! #2 Spot in the Spring Fling is locked!

 

Lenny: WGB is goin' to the Spring Fling!

 

 

Tyler Hayes steals the Year's Supply of ChungAde™️ from Gilberto J!

 

Simon: Normally I'd say bad move, but it definitely will keep him hydrated for his next Shoey world classic. 

 

 

Gilberto J steals back his spot in the Bloodstar Match from Solemn Guardian! This spot in the Bloodstar Match is locked!

 

Kendra: Gilberto J is getting a title shot, and now no one can take that from him. 

 

Simon: While this trade-off is happening, Lottie Axo has tapped out to the Cry Wolf!! Somehow Rina is still holding on!!!

 

Lenny: Okay, you know what, respect.

 

Lottie Axo is eliminated by Wonderwolf! (1)

 

Simon: Lottie will be cued up to get a case after this trade off and oh, there goes Rina. 

 

Rina is eliminated by El Cerrador! (4)

 

Kendra: Rina will need to line up behind Lottie. 

 

 

Solemn Guardian steals the chance to replace Mansin in the 8 Crazy Fights from High Flyer Mono!

 

Kendra: Guardian is putting himself in 8 harms' way now, and that leaves Mono open... Mono is going for the table! 

 

 

High Flyer opens the box to reveal-

 

 

The THIRD open spot in the Bloodstar Match!

 

Simon: One spot remains in one of those 4 boxes for the Bloodstar Match. At this point we have no idea what awaits in the other three.

 

Kendra: Lottie's gonna leave the risk to someone else as she goes to steal!

 

 

Lottie Axo steals the chance to replace Mansin in the 8 Crazy Fights from Solemn Guardian!

 

Kendra: Solemn once again on the hunt-

 

 

Solemn Guardian steals the Endocytosis spot from US Rae!

 

Lenny: Weirdly a less crazy way to get a title shot than whatever is in store during the 8 Crazy Fights. US Rae is taking her shot at the table, got a 1 in 4 shot here-

 

 

Kendra: Oh she went for the BIG box. 

 

US Rae opens the gift and-

 

 

-MUST BE ZLI'S PERSONAL BODYGUARD FOR THE MONTH OF FEBRUARY 2026!

 

Lenny: Today's lesson kids... Big Box does NOT mean big reward. We're down to a 1 in 3 scenario now, but we know that Bloodstar spot is still waiting there as Rina steps up, and she's gonna take her chance at the table!!

 

 

Rina opens her box to find-

 

 

-AN IMMEDIATE TITLE MATCH AGAINST THE WINNER OF THE US TLC!

 

Kendra: Rina is going to get herself a title shot! Now this puts the pressure on everyone here. Do you risk going up either against Matt Martigon or whoever is able to outfox Matt Martigon? Do you go for one of the two boxes knowing that one contains that final Bloodstar Match?? What is the play??

 

Simon: The play ultimately will come down to El Cerrador or Wonderwolf to determine what happens next. Cerrador with a Gamengiri knocking Wonderwolf back. Wonderwolf rolls back and up to his feet... slides under Cerrador's roundhouse kick, back to the other side, going for a Cobra Clutch Suplex NO Cerrador flips him over and looking for a scissorlock, Wonder flips backwards into a package pin-

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO!

 

Kendra: Cerrador twists them around into a Prawn Hold!

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO!

 

Simon: Wonder with the shoulder up and Rear Naked Choke!! Cerrador trying to get himself wiggled out of it, reaching for the rope but no DQ means no rope break, trying to roll themselves over onto his stomach, Wonder's got that locked tight!

 

Lenny: I always hated the Rear Naked. It's way too effective in grounding you and if the person has a strong enough grasp, you go nowhere.

 

Kendra: That's why I always loved the Rear Naked. I've taken my share of people out this way. But Cerrador able to get to his stomach, he's trying to Canter towards the turnbuckle and strikes Wonder's head against it!! Hold broken! That, I have to give credit where credit's due, that was good body intelligence by El Cerrador! 

 

Lenny: Cerrador going for Wolf's legs, I think he's gonna try again for the El Cerrón, trying to pull Wolf away from the corner, Wolf won't let go of the ropes! Remembering rope break isn't a thing, locks it in anyway but took too much time on the realization, Wolf getting his hands up to the second rope, what's he playin' at here?

 

Simon: Wolf bouncing his hands on the rope AND HE WRENCHES HIS BODY BACKWARDS! HE...HE'S LOCKING IN A CHANCERY!!! WHAT A PLAY!!!

 

Kendra: Rope break or no rope break, the ropes are effective leverage and it's FAR worse when your body is in the center of the ring! Nothing to grab onto, Cerrador... Cerrador taps!!! WONDERWOLF WINS!!!

 

 El Cerrador is eliminated by Wonderwolf!! (2)

 

Lenny: El Cerrador now has to go face the unknown, and once this is done, Wonderwolf will get to see the whole picture, AND be part of whatever title scene he wants on the final day of W2! And as the winner, the lock rules don't apply to him so it's literally whatever he wants.

 

Simon: Wonderwolf has had a hell of a year, and it only started turning back around in his favor at Thankless, but what a way for him to end 2025. 

 

Kendra: So let's go now to El Cerrador and see what he's gonna do. And it looks like he's gonna steal!

 

 

El Cerrador steals the chance to replace Mansin in the 8 Crazy Fights from Lottie Axo! 8 Crazy Fights is locked to all except Wonderwolf!

 

Simon: I don't know if El Cerrador knows what he just did to himself but it ain't gonna be pretty.

 

 

Lottie Axo steals the spot in the Endocytosis Match from Solemn Guardian!

 

Lenny: Solemn Guardian CANNOT catch a break!

 

 

Solemn Guardian steals the $10000 from Lazer!

 

Kendra: That's what I thought he'd do earlier! And the fact that he was the only one willing to take that risk is INSANE to me.

 

 

Lazer steals High Flyer Mono's spot in the Bloodstar Match!

 

Lenny: Lazer was literally the first eliminated and it was only a few seconds in, so aside from Mansin she's in the best shape to have a chance.

 

Simon: Especially as this match is going to happen next. 

 

Kendra: Oooh everyone's face just dropped. I think they didn't know that piece. 

 

 

High Flyer Mono steals the Year's Worth of Frozen Banana Pizza from Golly Gong?

 

Kendra: Just... just make that make sense. I don't get it. 

 

Lenny: Yeah, that's a headscratcher.

 

Golly Gong is going to take her chances at the table!

 

Simon: There is now a one in two chance of getting that Final Spot. Let's see what happens. 

 

 

Golly Gong opens the gift to reveal...

 

 

THE FINAL SPOT IN THE BLOODSTAR MATCH!

 

Colin steps out to the front of the stage.

 

Colin: Congratulations Wonderwolf!! You are the first ever White Elephant Winner! 

 

 

The crowd chants "WONDERWOLF! WONDERWOLF! WONDERWOLF!" He howls, and the crowd howls back.

 

Colin: Now, once we open this final gift, everything here will be in play for you, including the otherwise locked boxes. 

 

Simon: I haven't been this excited for a present opening since I was 11.

 

Kendra: Normally your overenthusiasm would annoy the hell out of me. And it still does. But I am curious too.

 

Lenny: Wonderwolf holds the key now, and it's a question of whether or not the gifts will stay where they are. 

 

Simon: That's right Lenny, if Wonder takes that final box, it's all locked in place. If he chooses to steal, it becomes a potential free-for-all here. 

 

 

One little box.

 

An unassuming, tiny shape with rustic twine.

 

The entire arena holds their breath in anticipation.

 

Colin gingerly pulls the twine and tears the paper. The arena is so silent, all that is heard is ripping of wrapping.

 

 

The crowd loses their damn minds. The announcers lose their damn minds. The other participants feel a sense of dread and in many cases resignation, as it is too good an opportunity to pass up.

 

Colin: Now before you answer, I should give you what is different about the Spring Fling going forward. It still has implications for Fallout but a little less directly.

 

NOW, the Winner of the Spring Fling will be guaranteed an Epoch Title shot, but at International Incident at June.

 

The crowd pops.

 

Colin: IF YOU LOSE that match, you will be added to the Epoch Title Shot in Fallout should you still be with or associated with MAWL. IF YOU WIN, that's it. Even if you drop the belt after, that's your shot.

 

SO. Wonderwolf. What's your move.

 

Everyone watches in antici-

 

wait for it-

 

...

 

pation. 

 

Wonderwolf: I'll take that final spot. 

 

The crowd goes wild!!!

 

Colin: Good choice. Only thing left for you to think about now is what title match you'll find yourself in at W2, but we have some time to discuss. Now. The match has ended. Let us go in pieces. Except for the four who will be lined up for the Bloodstar Match against Mansin. But fist, Wonderwolf, take your victory lap. You've earned it. 

 

Ash: Your WINNER, WONDERWOLF!

 

 

Wonderwolf goes up on the turnbuckle howling again. The crowd howls back.

 

Lenny: Wonderwolf is taking in the moment and well deserved, sir.

 

Simon: And as he does so, a quick recap here of what everyone's walking away with. 

 

 

Lenny: I'm chomping at the bit to see who Ace Anarchy will be choosing to be his compadres.

 

Simon: Agreed. I'm also told that the match originally scheduled for 8 teams will have 10 now, as Sombras has convinced Mal Sangre to join his team over Rabia Sagriente, and Rena Terror has taken his spot. 

 

Kendra: That'll put a wrench in her plans for sure, they definitely lose out on that trade. But before we get there, we've got this Bloodstar Match to contend with.

 

The four erstwhile competitors - Gilberto J, Danielle Fishel, Golly Gong, and Lazer - make their ways to the ring.

 

 

Ash: The following contest is the Bloodstar Match and it is for the Dead Air Title! Already in the ring, Golden Gloves Golly Gong, The King of the Jungle Gilberto J, Danielle "Bad Fish" Fishel, and Lazer!

 

 

Mansin steps out shouldering the belt, steel determination in his eyes. 

 

 

Ash: AND the Champion! From the Shadows of his Own Mind, weighing in at 240 pounds... THE DEAD AIR CHAMPION.... MANSIN!

 

Simon: What's often not talked about in First Blood style matches is that the strength that gets you through in other matches will not serve you in the same way. A mound of muscles is little defense against a quick opponent with a sharp object.

 

Kendra: And you can that our challengers have prepared themselves for that point. During the victory lap, Danielle Fishel put on some industrial strength acrylics. Golly Gong was gifted some glass-laden gauze and she spent the time wrapping her hands carefully to keep the glass on the outside. Gilberto's got his hunting daggers at the ready. Even Lazer is packing. Mansin may not be aware that he's walking straight into a minefield.

 

Mansin steps through the ropes. The bell rings!

 

Lenny: And he's about to find out, Gong launches herself and glass laden Superman Punch, and right from jump we know that there's gonna be a new Champ, as she drives that fist repeatedly into his face!

 

Mansin is eliminated by Golly Gong! (1)

 

Simon: Golly spun around by Gilberto and Double Underhook DDT! Factor G!! Gilberto pulls at her hands, unwrapping the tape and wrapping it around his boot... loading back and punt kicks her in the face!! Loading back again, another!! 

 

Golly Gong is eliminated by Gilberto J! (1)

 

Kendra: Two quick eliminations, and now it's Gilberto J, Danielle, and Lazer, and if Lazer and Danielle are smart they'll work together, put their heads together to OOOH NOT LIKE THAT GILBERTO CRASHES THEM INTO EACH OTHER! And quickly tossing each of the women off to the side!

 

Lenny: Lazer off the ropes and Gilberto catches her into a Bearhug! Gilberto elevates Lazer and squeezing the life out of her, you can see her going pallid, but that's not getting the win here, she needs to bleed, here comes Danielle with a clothesline! What a double team! 

 

Simon: Gilberto clearly less than pleased about it, as he spins around and takes Danielle down with a discus lariat. Belly to Belly to Lazer dropping her on top of Danielle! Off the ropes and legdrop to both of them!

 

Kendra: It gets across the face of Lazer but not a scratch. Grabbing her by the neck, choke toss sending her out of the ring!

 

Lenny: Danielle with a headlock, going for an eye scratch on Gilberto, pulling his braids and a high knee shot! Gilberto responds with a Back Body Drop! 

 

Kendra: This doesn't feel too different from Shredder battling the Turtles. Lazer and Danielle both under the apron, looking for something to neutralize... Lazer finds herself a plank and nail, going for a tomahawk chop from the top, Gilberto side steps and catches her in the ribs with a clothesline! Going for the Impaler DDT, Danielle tries to throw him off with a chair to the legs. 

 

Simon: Gilberto stumbles, but doesn't let Lazer go, and goin' swingin'! Using Lazer as a weapon right into Danielle, Danielle eats those legs and wiped out! Lazer's gotta be feelin' some sort of vertigo, Gilberto stops the spin short and spikes her with that Elevated DDT! BLEED BEFORE THE JUNGLE! AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT LAZER DOES!

 

Lazer is eliminated by Gilberto J! (2)

 

Lenny: Gilberto seems like he's got this one locked up, he picks Danielle up by the neck and taking the life out of her slowly, ooh those acrylics are something sharp though she Iron Claws him! She's really digging in! But he's not letting go!

 

Kendra: Oh, she's getting that in deep though. I think... she's drawn blood! Two steps from passing out but she's technically won!!

 

Gilberto J is eliminated by Danielle Fishel! (1) DANIELLE FISHEL WINS?!

 

 

Ash: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND THE NEW DEAD AIR CHAMPION....DANIELLE FISHEL!!!

 

Lenny: And the refs are trying to break Gilberto's hold on her, I fear what's gonna happen when he's made aware that he's lost.

 

Simon: Like I said, strength can be easily beaten in a match like this. 

 

Kendra: The refs are drawing straws to be the one to let him know, and being approached sure enough by a Junior Ref whose name I guess won't mean much now as that ref has just been yeeted into the barricade.

 

Lenny: Welp. Onto the next. 

 

 

Ash: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

Slang Dang walks out of the gate hyping up the crowd, he taps the left wrist with his right hand.

 

 

Ash: First! From the Dog House, weighing in at 180 pounds, SLAAAAANG DANG!

 

When he is done, he points to the ring and smirks, and an “X” pyro explode from turnbuckle to turnbuckle. He walks to the ring clapping the hands to his fans.

 

 

Eradicus walks out, a chill in the air as he passes.

 

 

Ash: And his opponent! From The Gladiator Protocol, weighing in at 330 pounds, ERAD-X-MAS!!!

 

Eradicus...er, Erad-X-Mas... steps over the ropes in one fell swoop.

 

The bell rings!

 

Kendra: Slang Dang takes a run and a dropkick... a second dropkick... Erad not moved even a step... trying a for a third and Erad-X-Mas catches him out! EXM lifts him way over head...Military Press...HUGE BACKBREAKER! SACRIFICER!!! 

 

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Erad-X-Mas wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Ash: HERE IS YOUR WINNER... ERAD-X-MAS!!!

 

Kendra: ERAD-X-MAS ISN'T DONE!! HE'S CHOKESLAMMING SLANG DANG RIGHT THROUGH THE DAMN RING!!!

 

Simon: That's a good time to swing over to our other ring area, which is three cells in a trenchcoat. 

 

Lenny: ...That's a tarp, bro.

 

The tarp is removed to reveal three cells, each with a full wrestling ring inside.

 

 

The crowd cheers as the 10 teams come down. Each team discussing who is going into which level. Ash announces the rules as they arrive.

 

Ash: The following is the Next Level Match! A member of each team will start on one of the three levels. When the level is cleared of all but one team, the remaining competitors will move to a different level! The match will end when only one team remains!

 

Simon: You can see the deliberation in each team about who's going where but once the teammate stands on the platform, they're lifted up as needed and left in. 

 

Lenny: And it looks like Ace Anarchy has conscripted Hyperspeed Halley Comet and XEL to be his squad! If they win, it'll be a whole lotta energy that the Trios champs will be facing and I am HERE FOR IT.

 

Once the teams are split and all are entered into their proper sections the bell rings!

 

Kendra: Let's break down who is where. The top level is Donna Matrix, The Fabulous Matt, G. Go Low, Halley Comet, H. Dog, Kelly Kruel, Rade, Sombras, Trevor DeMartin, and Wiski Sour with Classic Jenny Caldwell reffing.

 

Simon: In the middle we've got Bowen Baneclaw, Faith, Heidi Hops, Krissy Kruel, The Mysterious Steve, Neon Juan Guyverno, Rena Terror, Tragedeigh, The Tribal Chief, and XEL with DeAndra Jones in the stripes.

 

Lenny: And bringin' up the bottom is Ace Anarchy, Anna Konda, Axel, Blood Drawn, DX Royal, Glen Leven, Indigo, Kallix Kruel, Mal Sangre, and T. Krip. Lisa Lane will be watching the bottom action.

 

Simon: G. Go Low, now feeling himself, with a little hip shimmy before he drops Sombras with a DDT.

 

Lenny: That's a risk, Sombras is a slippery sort. 

 

Kendra: Bowen Baneclaw kick Rena in the ribs with a middle kick, and a brutal piledriver! And Blood Drawn makes a beeline for the man who would have been his partner, punishing him with a running boot sending Sangre roiling back. Anna Konda trying to sneak up behind Bowen, he spins around and drives her down with a lariat!

 

Simon: Bowen keeping on Rena, lifts her up for a Chokeslam and OH Tragedeigh coming for an unnecessary but impactful assist on it! Rena gets driven ALL the way down! Double pin!

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Rena Terror is eliminated by Tragedeigh (1) and Bowen Baneclaw (1)!

 

Lenny: Kelly Kruel catches Wiski on a rebound with a high spin kick, keeps the spin around and slaps Sombras. Heidi with a Shooting Star Slam on XEL and the cover!!

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

XEL is eliminated by Heidi Hops! (1)

 

Kendra: This Middle Level is cleaning out fairly quickly all things considered. Axel with the Irish whip on Ace Anarchy because he's not smart, Ace Anarchy snaps back with the State of Decay! Going for a cover but Axel rolls himself back and away from the cover. T. Krip kicks Mal Sangre in the midsection now, coming off the ropes and a Curb Stomp! Going for the cover-Mal quickly reverses!

 

Lisa: ONE! 

 

Simon: T. Krip kicks out. Tragedeigh on the run and Blockbuster on Mysterious Steve! Going for the pin but Steve with a disappearing act. Fabulous Matt with a Mushroom Curb Stomp to Trevor, it's the Rabbit In The Hat! Pin attempt up top-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO!

 

Lenny: Trevor kicks, and Halley Comet lined up with a Cartwheel Handspring and the Double Axe Handle to Fabulous Matt! Hale-Bopp by Halley Comet! Going for the pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Kendra: Matt kicks out. Krissy Kruel with a Hammerlock DDT to Tragedeigh, and down below Kallix with a throat chop to DX Royal. Mal Sangre poppin' Indigo up AND BLOODLINE'S WRATH!

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Indigo is eliminated by Mal Sangre!

 

Lenny: Hops with a running Cross Body Block but Tribal Chief catches her and snap Spinebuster! Wiski driving Donna's head into a turnbuckle, up to the top and Back Superplex! Picking Donna up for another suplex AND KELLY KRUEL BOOTS DONNA IN THE FACE!

 

Simon: Good time for a double-team, Tragedeigh and Faith agree and double clothesline to Bowen! Going for a pin attempt-

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO!

 

Kendra: Bowen gets his shoulder up. Sangre with a headbutt to DX Royal, Axel with a Fisherman Suplex on Ace Anarchy and going for the pin-

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Ace Anarchy is eliminated by Axel! (1)

 

Simon: Tragedeigh Overture to Krissy Kruel and goes for the pin but Krissy gets her shoulder up. Comet with a blasting shotgun dropkick to Rade and that staggered him a little! Donna Matrix locks in that Elevated Camel Clutch on H. Dog, NO SAFEWORD!

 

Lenny: Tribal Chief blasting Neon Juan with a pair of brutal Kesagiri Chops, H. Dog manages to slip his arms back, slide himself out of the No Safeword. Kallix with those brass knuckles on DX!! Going for a pin, but DX manages to roll himself away before she can get a good grip on him, pops up to his feet, T-Bone DDT to T. Krip! Tragedeigh with a Pele Kick to Bowen. H. Dog goes for a clothesline on G. Go Low, G swings that arm around and gets him up...Upside Down Crucifix, and holding him up... oh, that's a while for him to look at the ground, a little hip swivel action from G, Drop Into the Stunner!! STRIP-TS! Going for the pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! 

 

Kendra: H. Dog kicks out again! This man is surviving at cockroach levels! Matrix with her whip, lashing at Rade oh but he gets hold and pulls her in for a boot! Heidi Hops with a huge running knee takes Steve off his feet. Anna Konda with a single leg drop kick to Mal Sangre. Blood Drawn looking to capitalize but Mal Sangre with a Possum Pin-

 

Lisa: ONE!

 

Simon: Blood Drawn reverses, but Mal Sangre kicks. Hops attempts to get that running knee on Krissy, Krissy gets the knee and Fisherman's Driver! Rade with a headbutt taking H. Dog back off his feet but only for a moment as he flips back. Matt with a snap suplex to Wiski, and Steve going for a roll up on Neon Juan-no dice. Blood Drawn with a Red Tide Slam to Glen Leven!!

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO!

 

Lenny: Leven kicks, oh here comes Kallix with those knucks again and right to the jaw of DX! Going for the pin-

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

DX Royal is eliminated by Kallix Kruel! (1)

 

Simon: The middle and bottom floors are getting absolutely wrecked as the top floor remains a full house. Faith sees Bowen's powerbomb coming, headscissors takes him down. Donna takes that whip right across the face of G. Go Low, and I think he might have liked it! Rolls up for a pin. No pin, and G with a roll, Kip Up Jawbreaker to Sombras! Chippendale! Going for the pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! 

 

Kendra: Sombras kicks! Krissy has Tribal up for that Tombstone, she used to call it Staturday Night Fever, now she calls it Krissalis! Going for the pin-

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO!

 

Lenny: Tribal with the reversal!! 

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! 

 

Simon: Krissy kicks. Glen Leven with that Spinning Package Piledriver on T. Krip, he just Barrel Aged him!! Going for the cover-

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

T. Krip is eliminated by Glen Leven! (1)

 

Simon: Glen to his feet, and immediately catches Axel out with a powerslam. Neon Juan with a slap to Krissy, Sombras with a spin kick to Trevor. G. Go Low goes low on Rade with a low blow! Faith gets Heidi in the corner and just unloading those hooks into her midsection!

 

Kendra: Faith's punches can cut through steel, Heidi's innards are gonna look like Jell-O. Kallix with a quick eye rake to Blood Drawn and Glen adds a beer bottle to Blood's tab!! He's matched his namesake! 

 

Lenny: What a bit o' teamwork makin' the dream work! And on that, Faith gives Tribal Chief some space to unload on Hops OH Halley Comet with the Hale-Bopp to Donna Matrix!! Going for the pin DONNA REVERSES!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Hyperspeed Halley Comet is eliminated by Donna Matrix! (1)

 

Simon: Halley is the first one eliminated on the top, and it means that Ace's case has amounted to naught as his team is out of contention. Donna wasting no time, boots Wiski to the ground. Hops has had enough of Chief's beatdown and charges him out of the corner! Huge powerbomb! 

 

Kendra: A little measure of revenge there, and Leven with a headbutt on Axel.  Blood Drawn with a big scoop slam to Sangre. Krissy with a throat punch to Neon Juan and oh that was a sharp one! Fabulous Matt looking to scoop up Sour POSSUM ROLLUP BY WISKI SOUR AND THE COUNT!

 

Classic  Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE! 

 

The Fabulous Matt is eliminated by Wiski Sour! (1)

 

Lenny: Kelly with a tornillo to Trevor DeMartin! Tragedeigh with the Director's Cut to Faith!! Goin' for the cover!!

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Faith is eliminated by Tragedeigh! (2)

 

Simon: That makes Tragedeigh the first fighter to get 2 falls. And Axel with an elbow shot to Mal Sangre. Leven with a brutal straight punch to Blood Drawn, Blood can't be bothered to respond and chooses instead to roll up Kallix Kruel!! Feet up for leverage and it's all legal here!

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Kallix Kruel is eliminated by Blood Drawn! (1)

 

Kendra: Can't blame the man for taking advantage. Krissy distracted by seeing her partner get eliminated, Mysterious Steve with a very clear clothesline to the back of her head. Sombras with a headscissors to Wiski. H. Dog pops Donna Matrix up... H BOMB! She lands hard on impact and rolls out of a potential pin predicament. NEON JUAN FROM SEEMINGLY OUT OF NOWHERE, SPRINGBOARD SOMERSAULT KNEE STRIKE TO TRIBAL CHIEF!

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Tribal Chief is eliminated by Neon Juan Guyverno! (1)

 

Simon: His goons Trevor and Axel are still in to present but that'll do it for Tribal. And Axel eats a boot from Glen! Now Blood Drawn takes one!

 

Lenny: Heidi got some moves, Stinger Splash to Mysterious Steve. G. Go with ANOTHER Low Blow. Bro no. H. Dog attempts to capitalize but Rade still boots him away. Neon Juan attempts to capitalize on Steve in the corner, but Steve gets the knee up and stops the splash. Mal Sangre with a devastating Uranage to Glen Leven, Blood Drawn attempts a stomp, Glen rolls away and that'll hurt Blood's foot. Heidi with a front slam, trying for a pin but she kicks. 

 

Simon: Trevor with a headbutt roils H. Dog. Kelly with a dropkick to the back of Donna Matrix and drives her face first into the cell wall! She doesn't seem to mind though, can dish it out as much as take it. Steve with an STO to Juan, goes for the cover-

 

DAJ: ONE! 

 

Kendra: Juan kicks. Blood Drawn getting Axel up in the Fireman's Carry, CUTTER! The Descent OH AND AXEL WITH A QUICK SCHOOLBOY!

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Blood Drawn is eliminated by Axel! (2)

 

Kendra: Glen using Anna Konda Vice ON ANNA KONDA! Anna struggling intensely and trying to pry Glen's arms off, and not without struggle or damage but she breaks herself free. Anna going to catch her breath. Bowen going for a forearm shot, Steve sidesteps and catches Bowen in his cape, elbow shot to Bowen. H. Dog headbutts Wiski Sour. 

 

Simon: Trevor with a backbreaker on G. Go. Steve with a chop to Tragedeigh, Mal Sangre with a diving elbow drop on Glen NO ANNA CATCHES HIM AND SNAKECHARMER ELEVATED DDT!!! Going for the cover-

 

LISA: ONE! TWO! THREE! 

 

Mal Sangre is eliminated by Anna Konda! (1)

 

Kendra: Anna rises to her feet, GLEN AND AXEL READY AND DOUBLE BRAINBUSTER!! Going for the cover-

 

Lisa: ONE!

 

Kendra: Anna kicks, and damn does she have to catch her breath. Bowen tries to get out of the cape, Heidi knocks him back and out with a Running Cross Body! Donna with an eye poke to H. Dog and a gut punch to Rade.

 

Simon: Bowen with a devastating front slam to Krissy, and the cover-

 

DAJ: ONE!

 

Lenny: Krissy kicks. Glen hits Axel with the Irish Curse!! 

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! 

 

Simon: Axel kicks out and Union Jackhammer to Anna!! 

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Anna Konda is eliminated by Axel! (3)

 

Kendra: The bottom floor is down to just Axel and Glen Leven! Bowen with a rib breaker on Krissy and going for the pin-

 

DAJ: ONE! 

 

Simon: Krissy up to her feet. Donna Matrix hits Trevor DeMartin with a spinning neckbreaker. Going for a pin, Trevor reverses, Donna kicks. Neon Juan with a corkscrew splash to Bowen. Glen with a huge belly to back to Axel, Axel responds with a German Suplex. Tragedeigh with a huge knee smash to Krissy. Donna Matrix with a chop to Rade, Kelly Kruel responds with one to Donna's throat. 

 

Kendra: Heidi Hops to the Middle Rope... INVERTED CANNONBALL TO NEON JUAN! BAVARIAN BARREL BOMB! GUYVERNO'S FLATTENED! 

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE! 

 

Neon Juan Guyverno is eliminated by Heidi Hops! (2)

 

Kendra: Heidi is a firecracker in this match OH AND IRISH CURSE BY GLEN LEVEN TO AXEL!

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! T-

 

Simon: Just BARELY kicks out! And he gets a Rear Naked Choke on Glen Leven, looking to take him out here and now. Heidi with a lariat to Bowen and going for the pin-

 

DAJ: ONE!

 

Lenny: Bowen reverses!

 

DAJ: ONE!

 

Kendra: HEIDI REVERSES BACK!

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO!

 

Simon: I'd almost forgotten Sombras is in this thing, but he hits a huge diving frankensteiner on Donna Matrix. Trevor tries to capitalize, Donna slaps him. Bowen with a bionic elbow to Tragedeigh. Axel with a ripcord lariat to Glen, goes for a second, Glen ducks and hammerlock back suplex! TRAGEDEIGH ROLLS UP STEVE!

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

The Mysterious Steve is eliminated by Tragedeigh! (3)

 

Simon: And that was the last stop of making the Magic Bus disappear as that Middle Level whittles down to 4, just Tragedeigh, Heidi, Bowen, and Krissy remaining. Still a mess of people on the top. Axel with a huge Oklahoma Slam to Glen, and following up with a jumping elbow drop. Bowen with a snap suplex on Tragedeigh, Tragedeigh reverses into the rollup!

 

DAJ: ONE!

 

Kendra: Bowen reverses back!!

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Tragedeigh is eliminated by Bowen Baneclaw! (2)

 

Lenny: And then there were 3!! H. Dog has Trevor up on the Middle Rope, going up to the top and we're about to get that Bulldog NO TREVOR REVERSES INTO AN AVALANCHE BLUE THUNDER BOMB! HOLY HELL! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

H. Dog is eliminated by Trevor DeMartin! (1)

 

Simon: Good to see the top of that floor wake up. Leven rocks Axel with a boot, Hops gets Krissy with a headbutt, Wiski charges Rade with a boot Rade staggers a step but gets Wiski by the neck... G. Go Low tries to punch him away and is gifted Rade's other hand!!! DOUBLE CHOKESLAM DOUBLE PIN! 

 

Kendra: Low escapes but Wiski's not goin' anywhere!! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Wiski Sour is eliminated by Rade! (1)

 

Lenny: Classic Fuck Around Find Out for Wiski there, OH HEIDI BAVARIAN BARREL BOMB TO BOWEN BANECLAW!

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Bowen Baneclaw is eliminated by Heidi Hops! (3)

 

Kendra: Both the Middle and Bottom Levels are down to 2, which means the Top Level is likely to have some visitors soon. Remains to be seen whom.  And Glen attempts to answer this with a Barrel Aged on Axel!!

 

Lisa: ONE!

 

Lenny: AXEL WILL NOT DIE! Frustration on the brow of Glen, as he goes for a machine gun stompout. Heidi with a headbutt to Krissy. Sombras with a tornado DDT to Trevor!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Kendra: Trevor kicks. Kelly gets G. Go in the corner... Handspring Back Elbow Smash! KELLLLY KILER! And the cover!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

G. Go Low is eliminated by Kelly Kruel! (1) 

 

Simon: Finally clearing some space up top. Krissy with a Buckle Bomb to Heidi, the strength on her is impressive! Axel with an elbow shot to Glen, Glen responds with 2. Krissy picking Heidi's head up by the pigtails and smashing it into the ground. Sombras with a quick pair of kicks to Donna, Rade with a headbutt knocking Kelly back. Heidi charges Krissy, she catches her out with a Belly to Belly! Glen with another Submission, this time channeling his partner Wiski with the On Tap Crossface!! Axel desperately trying to elbow out, not gonna do it! And he's realizing that the rope break is pointless... AXEL TAPS!! THAT'LL DO IT FOR THE BOTTOM LEVEL!!

 

Axel is eliminated by Glen Leven! (2) The Bottom Level is Closed! Glen enters the Middle Level!

 

Kendra: Glen enters the ring, Heidi hops him up on the Shoulders! HEIDI PASSING KRISSY UP, ASSISTED BARREL AGED!!! THEY CALL THIS THE KEG STAND AND IT'S GONNA BE KRISSY KRUEL'S LAST STAND!!! DOUBLE PIN!!!

 

DAJ: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Krissy Kruel is eliminated by Heidi Hops (4) and Glen Leven (3)! The Middle Level is Closed! Heidi and Glen enter the Top Level!

 

Kendra: In all my time in this company I don't think I've seen more than a couple Next Levels where two members of a team got to climb, but they'll be entering a cage with 6 others still fighting.

 

Simon: Donna gets the No Safeword on Trevor DeMartin!! Trevor trying to fight to his feet, he through the grace of God or whoever is able to reverse into a roll-up pin but Matrix kicks. Hops runs Sombras over with that gut check, Trevor looking to capitalize with an elbow drop but no Sombras to be found OH THERE HE IS WITH A SHADOW STRIKE KNEE! DEMARTIN IS DEMOLISHED!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Trevor DeMartin is eliminated by Sombras! (1)

 

Kendra: K2 by Kelly to Leven!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Glen Leven is eliminated by Kelly Kruel! (2)

 

Lenny: That was the last advantage that any team would have! Heidi doesn't let Kelly up though, gets her with a Banzai Drop! Going for the pin OH KELLY REVERSES!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Lenny: Heidi kicks, Kelly frustrated and UP SHE GOES AND DOWN SHE COMES! 7 FEET UNDER BABY!!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Kelly Kruel is eliminated by Rade! (2)

 

Kendra: It looks like we're gonna be hitting the gas here! Donna locks the No Safeword in on Heidi Hops!!! Rade absolutely unloading those headbutts on Sombras! Gesichtsmörder!!! Today has been too exhausting for Heidi to manage any more and she's gonna tap!

 

Heidi Hops is eliminated by Donna Matrix! (2)

 

Simon: Rade with the cover on Sombras!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Sombras is eliminated by Rade! (3) 

 

Simon: One does not simply walk away from Gesichtsmörder.

 

Kendra: That was baaaAAAAAOH DAMN 7 FEET UNDER TO DONNA MATRIX!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Donna Matrix is eliminated by Rade! (4) RADE, BLOOD DRAWN, AND RENA TERROR GET THE SHOT!

 

 

Ash: HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS!!! RADE, RENA TERROR, AND BLOOD DRAWN!!! DAS VERDERBEN!!! 

 

Simon: They are on track to be the most brutal and unforgiving Trios Champs, if they can get through whoever wins the next match. So let's get right in on it!

 

 

Ash: The following contest is a Trios Title Match, and it is scheduled for One Fall! 

 

Crowd: One Fall!

 

 

Lenny: YES!!! IT'S A HOLIDAY MIRACLE!

 

A sleigh comes in with a bunch of mechanical reindeer in DOH jackets carrying it. Yuletide, Cinnaman, and Sugar Cooki ride on the back of it waving to everyone, occasionally whipping the DOH reindeer. 

 

 

Ash: First, the challengers! Yuletide, and the team of Cinnaman and Sugar Cooki, SUGAR N SPICE!

 

The crowd cheers as the team comes down the ramp. They exit the sleigh, then come around the sides of the ring high fiving the crowd before entering. 

 

Kendra: Not to sound like a Nativist, but it's rough enough that Def Jam was taken one of our briefcases back to Path, but how could we handle one of the Trios belts also going back? Hope the schedules line up?

 

Lenny : Yuletide has this uncanny ability to be everywhere you need at any time. 

 

Announcer: Wrestling only has one Heartbreaker

 

 

BOOOOOMANIA fills the arena as Deck of Hearts struts out, Jen Teal shouldering the belts in addition to Diana's Epoch Title, almost dropping them but just barely catching them.

 

 

Ash: And the Champions - The Trios Champions... which ones of you are fighting?

 

SM points to CON, Utterly Vile, and spins his finger around seeming like he might pick one of the women before landing squarely on himself. 

 

Ash: CON, Utterly Vile, and SM Heartbreaker, DECK OF HEARTS!

 

The team gets to the apron, SM looking at the ropes expectantly until Violent lifts the ropes for the team to enter.

 

Kendra: It makes sense that these three would be the ones fighting. Violent and Rox are in the tag title match, Diana has the main event. 

 

Lenny: Now, as a reminder, Colin has decreed that Deck of Hearts doesn't get a Champions' Advantage here, but with today being No DQ across the board that really wouldn't have mattered anyway.

 

The bell rings!

 

Simon: CON starting against Cinna, Cinna looking for an Irish Whip and CON reverses it, sending Cinna running, Arm Drag and Cinna lands on his feet and reverses it into an Arm Drag of his own, twisting spin kick taking CON off his feet, CON looking for a tag - NO! He's being given a gift from SM and taking a run at Cinna, Superman Punch! OOF Cinna goes down and CON cracks open the roll of quarters, spilling them on Cinna! Going for a quick pin-

 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Lenny: Sugar to the rescue with a quick stomp, pulls Cinna to the rescue, gets him to the ropes and tags herself in. Sugar runs in with a jumping clothesline takes CON to the ground. Gets herself up onto the second rope- SM knocks her off!! CON going for the roll-up-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! 

 

Kendra: She rolls out and snap suplex, twisting CON's arm into a Fujiwara! CON trying to reach for a tag, getting towards Utterly Vile, Sugar pulls her back around and adding in a headlock! Here comes Vile to break the hold, Boot to Sugar and rolls her back. Cinna tagged back in, running knee drop takes CON down, continuing the run, Springboard and a Coffin Drop! Going for the pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! 

 

Simon: CON gets his shoulder up, going for the hot tag, Utterly Vile in and blasting Cinna with a jumping forearm! Dropkick takes Sugar off the apron, springboarding the elbow drop onto Cinna, going for the pin, NO Cinna reverses, Vile rolls out before the 1 and Basement Dropkick, Irish Whip into the Corner and tag into CON, Vile puts Cinna on his shoulders and oh is he stroking his ankles? That's uncomfortable. CON with a Front Dropkick!

 

Lenny: Cinna rolls back, tags in...to YULETIDE! HERE COMES THE BIG MAN!! YULE DROPS CON WITH A BOOT! HE DROPS UTTERLY VILE WITH A BOOT! YULETIDE CALLING IN SM HEARTBREAKER! 

 

Kendra: SM has his hands up, he's not looking to get put on the Naughty List, Yuletide turns his attention to the crowd SM CRACKS HIM IN THE SIDE OF THE HEAD WITH A SUPERKICK! 

 

Lenny: This crowd reacting like SM just canceled Christmas! 

 

Simon: CON going for the pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TW-

 

Kendra: YULETIDE IS BENCHPRESSING CON! 

 

Lenny: SUGAR COOKI TO THE TOP, 450 TO CON! YULETIDE WITH A SIDE CRADLE!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! T-

 

Simon: SM breaks the pin with an Elbow. SM grabbing the hair of Yuletide and GRINCHIFIES his face with Green Mist! Slamming Yule's face into the turnbuckle, jumping back to the Apron. SM and Vile holding Yule by the head and beard respectively, CON charges into the corner and dropkick to the head of Yule! Tag into SM, and Yule's gonna get his Christmas Wish, but with the significant Monkey's Paw of being in the state he's in.

 

Kendra: SM holding Yule's head over the ropes, and with no DQ he doesn't have to let go, Cinna and Sugar Cooki from behind with two giant candy canes SMASHING THEM ON SM'S BACK! YULETIDE LET GO AND DOUBLE INVERTED SUPLEX TO SM! YULETIDE SMASHES UTTERLY VILE AND CON INTO THE METAL BEHIND THE BUCKLE! OFF THE APRON THEY COME AND YULETIDE HAS FREE REIGN OF THE BUCKLE I THINK HE'S GONNA GET A SLEIGH RIDE GOING OH NO ROX AND DIANA PULL HIM DOWN!!! YULETIDE STUMBLES DOWN!!! 

 

Simon: They just Jingled his Bells! 

 

Lenny: SM loading up for an Instrument of Destruction... waitamiiiiiinute-

 

Some in the crowd start singing "O Tannenbaum".... soon others start joining...

 

Kendra: Who knew that the Germans would be so good at singing? SM trying not to let it bother him, still loading up the knee...

 

Lenny: Yuletide to his feet and starting to Hulk Up! The Holiday Spirit is deep within him brother!

 

Simon: Say your Dickens and eat your cookies children!! SM charging and knee is ready YULETIDE EXPLODER SUPLEX SENDS SM TUMBLING OUT ONTO DECK OF HEARTS!! 

 

Kendra: YULETIDE TOPE CON HILO WIPES OUT THE WHOLE DAMN TEAM!!! THE CROWD FIRMLY BEHIND HIM NOW!!! YULETIDE ROLLS SM INTO THE RING, SM SHOULD JUST STAY DOWN! SM considering that-

 

Nero shows up on the Titantron wearing this shirt!

 

 

Kendra: THAT'LL wake up SM! SM to his feet and staring angrily at the Tron, yelling at his team to go take care of Nero, makes the mistake of stepping away from the ropes AND IS TAKEN FOR A SLEIGH RIDE!!! SHOOTING STAR DDT!!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE! 

 

Yuletide pins SM Heartbreaker to win the Trios Titles!!

 

 

Ash: HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS.... AND THE NEW TRIOS CHAMPIONS... YULETIDE, SUGAR N SPICE!!!

 

Yuletide, Cinnaman, and Sugar Cooki hold up the belts - suddenly the lights go out! When they come back on...

 

 

Simon: AZTEC IS HERE!!! AZTEC IS HERE AND HE'S RAISING THE HAND OF CINNAMAN! HE'S JOINED THE CHAIN!! 

 

Lenny: I don't think SM or DOH are too thrilled about this chain of events... they're crowding the ring! SM calling for an attack and it's lookin' like a 7 on 4-

 

 

Simon: THE BLONDES ARE HERE! I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE HAPPY TO SEE THEM! AZTEC AND VIOLENT EXCHANGING BLOWS, BLONDES ARE GOING HAM ON VILE AND CON, SUGAR AND SPICE TAKING TRYING TO PUSH BACK THE LADIES AND SM TRYING TO COACH THE ACTION AS HE SLIDES A LITTLE BIT BACK...

 

 

Simon: RIGHT INTO A NEROLYZER!!!

 

Kendra: Nero adding insult to injury, dropping the shirt on SM's face, and Aztec rolls Violent into the ring! Cinna dumps Rox Starr right next to him! The Blondes nod and roll in after!

 

 

Lenny: The Blondes with the cover!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE! 

 

The MAWLIWOOD Blondes pin Rox Starr and Violent to win!

 

 

Ash: Here are your winners... and STILL Signal Tag Team Champions... HIGH RISK WINSTON LEWIS AND RED CARPET MARK ANDERSON... MAWLIWOOD BLONDES!

 

The Blondes raise their hands. Aztec holds the hand of Mark and on the other side of Cinna, who holds the hand of Sugar who holds the hand of Yuletide.

 

Simon: This is... certainly an unusual conglomeration of people in the ring, 5 titles among them, but the hatred of Deck of Hearts can make for Strange Bedfellows. 

 

After a mixed response... The Blondes leave first. Aztec closes the circle and shakes the hand of Yuletide. They look each other tight in the eyes, clearly history blazing through that stare. 

 

Lenny: It's possible that Yule's rivalry with Aztec can be put to bed for just one night as they had a common enemy. 

 

Almost comically on cue, the lights go out. They come back on and Aztec is holding a briefcase. After some murmuring and awkward silence, he attempts to hand the briefcase to Classic Jenny Caldwell.

 

Kendra: Jenny trying to understand exactly what's happening here, and I think we all are. Is he trying to cash in on the Trios Title by himself??

 

Simon: He's pointing specifically to Yuletide, I think he's trying to cash in on part of the Trios Title!

 

Lenny: Can he do that?

 

Simon: He can't. Also point of note, he is not a Briefcase Holder, and Classic Jenny is trying to remind him of same. He's clearly perplexed, as he points to his briefcase and she says no go Billie Joe OH HE CLOCKS JENNY WITH THE BRIEFCASE! HE CLOCKS YULETIDE WITH THE BRIEFCASE! WHAT THE HELL??

 

The lights go out, and they come back on with the Trios Champs alone in the ring, Sugar N Spice tending to Yuletide and looking up as we cut to commercial.

 

 

Amelia: HELLO and Happy Holidays! Hope you've been enjoying the game so far! So, I've gotten some feedback from you all about the rollout of the DLC, and I have to say, it's valid. "Pack 2 just dropped! Aja Lioness won't be out for for another four months?? Are people even going to look this way?" 

 

Normally, we'd have this time to roll out people to work out the kinks of each person. But we've been moving surprisingly fast, so here's a little holiday treat for you. 

 

We're officially dropping the next four packs this month. They're done. They're ready to be released. Why wait?? So starting Midnight Tonight Pack 3 will be available. A week from today, December 13. Pack 4. December 20, Pack 5. December 25, Pack 6 AND a patched in alternate of Eradicus with the Erad-X-Mas attire, nameplate, and some extra moves. And the patch for all of this should be ready to download as we speak. Except the Erad-X-Mas, he JUST showed up so he'll be patched in as a fix on Christmas along with some Christmas and Chanukkah goodies. AND, now that we see that Kruel is on the scene again, they will move from Tier 3 exclusive to be patched into the game as well. Don't worry those of you who put out that extra dough, we've got some replacement goodies coming your way.

 

And then starting next month, we'll be dropping 2 packs a month, the second and fourth weeks of the month, with the patch for both dropping the first week of the month. So January will be 7 and 8, February will be 9 and 10. We may have some gaps after that as we ensure we have enough content to go around, and there may be additional characters popped in here and there. But we're so excited to provide you with this Chanukkah/Christmas treat. 

 

The work is done, and we're not trying to drive our workers here to insane hours. What are we, 2K? 

 

 

Somewhere backstage, where cables tangle like bad decisions and production assistants pretend they understand what’s happening, Cinnaman storms through the curtain with the kind of energy that usually ends in either genius or a small fire.

 

 

He doesn’t ask for permission. Of course he doesn’t. He just grabs the nearest cameraman like he’s picking a tag partner out of a crowd.

 

Cinnaman: 

"YOU—yeah YOU, with the shaky hands and questionable life choices—get over here! We’re makin’ HISTORY, brother!"

 

The cameraman hesitates for half a second, which is adorable, before being physically dragged into position. The red light flicks on mid-stumble. Perfect. Raw. Unhinged. Exactly how Cinnaman likes it.

Cinnaman plants himself dead center, pacing like a man who just drank eggnog mixed with rocket fuel. He adjusts nothing. He doesn’t need to. The chaos is the presentation.

 

Cinnaman: 

"Picture this, dig it—snow fallin’, bells ringin’, cookies bakin’, and BAM—POWER! CONTROL! PRESENTS STACKED HIGH LIKE A PYRAMID OF HOLIDAY DOMINANCE, OH YEAH!"

 

He points straight into the lens like he’s accusing the audience personally.

 

Cinnaman: 

"Christmas ain’t about cheer anymore, no no no… it’s about AUTHORITY, brother! It’s about who runs the workshop! Who owns the list! Who decides… naughty… or NICE!"

 

He leans in way too close to the camera. The frame is basically just madness and cinnamon breath now.

 

Cinnaman: 

"And that’s where WE come in! The CHRISTMAS… WORLD… ORDER, baby!"

 

He throws his arms wide like he just invented gravity.

 

Cinnaman: 

"C.W.O.! Say it with me! C… W… OOOOHHHH YEAH!!"

 

He starts pacing again, faster now, spiraling into his own idea like it’s already taken over the company.

 

Cinnaman: 

"We got the muscle, we got the flavor, we got the SPIRIT! Yuletide bringin’ the tradition, Suga Cookie bringin’ the sweetness, and ME—"

 

He slaps his own chest.

 

Cinnaman: 

"I’m bringin’ the HEAT, the SPICE, the ELBOW FROM THE NORTH POLE SKY, DIG IT?!"

 

The cameraman tries to steady the shot. Big mistake. Cinnaman notices.

 

Cinnaman: 

"Don’t clean it up! Don’t you DARE clean this up! This is RAW CHRISTMAS POWER, brother!"

 

He suddenly stops. Dead still. Eyes locked.

 

Cinnaman: 

"And when the C.W.O. takes over… there ain’t gonna be no silent night…"

 

A slow, dangerous grin creeps across his face.

 

Cinnaman: 

"It’s gonna be LOUD… it’s gonna be VIOLENT… and it’s gonna be… DELICIOUS."

 

He snaps his fingers right in front of the lens.

 

Cinnaman: 

"Cut it! Print it! Wrap it up and put it under the tree, OH YEAH!"

 

The camera lingers half a second too long as he walks off still muttering about branding opportunities and themed elbow drops, leaving the cameraman standing there like he just witnessed a festive cult being born.

 

Somewhere in the building, this is absolutely going to become a problem.

 

 

In another area of the Backstage...

 

the 'Sex Appeal' girls, Jassy, Bianca, Daria, and Iris are in the middle of plotting.

 

 

Iris: I see no flaws with this plan. 

 

Daria: Devilishly perfect. 

 

Bianca: pointedly refusing to engage in the puns. Love it. Now Jass, you're the final say.

 

Jassy is about to speak when-

 

 

Colin: Just the miscreant I needed. Walk with me. Got an opportunity for ya.

 

Jassy and Colin walk down the hall-right to the presence of-

 

 

Jassy's hackles go up IMMEDIATELY and she starts to voice protest, Colin puts his finger up, leaving Jassy absolutely flabbergasted she's been shushed.

 

Colin: You two will have plenty of time to talk later, but I want to get through this quick now before fisticuffs go off. Jamie. At Thankless you requested to "get your hands on" Jassy, but she was busy and you got stuck with Bianca Diaz instead. I know your pain there. But this week, Jassy's free. Got no matches or nothing on her schedule. So you'll have your match.

 

Jassy's eyes go red and she's about to protest again, and again Colin shushes her. The steam from her ears is visible, and Colin should change his hotel room.

 

Colin: Now Jassy, I told you I had an opportunity for you and I am a man of my word. So if you WIN that match, you'll be added to the Inferno Title Match!

 

Now JAMIE is about to raise protest when Colin shushes her as well. Dude, you're gonna die.

 

Colin: Now, I even have a special location for this to happen.

 

Both women raise an eyebrow at Colin.

 

Colin: God not like that! We don't do that here and you're sisters. No, you'll be fighting in... Santa's Workshop! Pin and submission but go absolutely crazy on each other! Merry Christmas!

 

Colin walks away. Normally at this time both of them would beat the hell out of each other, but they for the moment have a common enemy as they give matching grimaces in Colin's direction.

 

The camera follows Colin when-

 

 

Pinoy: Colin! COLIN!

 

Colin: apologetically Pinoy, I'm sorry, I really don't have-

 

Pinoy: But you saw it, right? You saw Aztec was here. 

 

Colin: Of course. 

 

Pinoy: And he HAD a briefcase. An official one.

 

Colin: Pinoy-

 

Pinoy: Where did he get it from? Where did he get it from if he wasn't in that match.

 

Colin: sarcastically Maybe he pulled it from another dimension.

 

Pinoy: Come on, Colin-

 

Colin: No, you come on. Why do you care so much? Even in your retelling of the story you don't win. 

 

Pinoy: I care about the truth. I care about justice. 

 

Colin: And I do too, but I reviewed the match footage left right and center. I'm saying this not only as your boss but as your friend. You gotta let this go. And I gotta figure out how he was allowed in here and how he was allowed access to Yuletide like that, the security should have stopped any intruders.

 

Pinoy: sarcastically Maybe they did in another dimension. Where this federation is competent. 

 

Pinoy storms off. Colin does his best Jim from The Office to the camera.

 

 

The arena lights dimmed to a confused half-glow, not dramatic enough for an entrance, not dull enough for an intermission. It was the awkward lighting of something unplanned.

A low, ancient drumbeat rumbled through the speakers.

The crowd stirred.

 

 

From the tunnel stepped Aztec — The Ancient One — draped in shadow and gold, briefcase in hand, its edges carved with symbols that looked older than the building itself. The case did not gleam. It absorbed light.

He walked with purpose.

Not haste.

Purpose.

The commentary team went silent.

The referee inside the ring blinked, confused.

Aztec stopped at ringside and slowly lifted the briefcase.

 

Aztec:

“Time has matured.”

 

He climbed the steps.

The current match had just ended. The exhausted champion lay in the center of the ring, barely conscious. The crowd began to realize what was happening.

A cash-in.

A guaranteed opportunity.

Aztec stepped through the ropes and stood over the fallen champion. He handed the briefcase to the referee.

 

Aztec:

“Open it.”

 

The referee hesitated.

 

 

Referee:

“…Open what?”

 

Aztec’s head tilted.

 

Aztec:

“The covenant. The binding contract. The briefcase.”

 

The referee awkwardly took it, turned it over in his hands.

 

Referee:

“This is… a regular briefcase.”

 

Aztec’s eyes narrowed.

 

Aztec:

“It was sanctioned.”

 

Referee:

“By who?”

 

Aztec slowly turned toward the stage.

Production staff gathered near the curtain, whispering.

A headset-wearing MAWL official rushed down the ramp, waving his arms.

 

 

Official:

“Stop. Stop. Stop. What is happening?”

 

Aztec did not look at him.

 

Aztec:

“You know what is happening.”

 

Official:

“No, we absolutely do not.”

 

The crowd began murmuring.

 

Official:

“There is no scheduled cash-in. There is no ‘ancient covenant.’ We have no record of any briefcase.”

 

Aztec turned slowly.

 

Aztec:

“You aired the vignettes.”

 

Official:

“What vignettes?”

 

Aztec’s jaw tightened.

 

Aztec:

“The ones in the catacombs. The burning hourglass. The whispering priest.”

 

The official blinked.

 

Official:

“…Sir, the only backstage segment so far tonight was Tortuga arguing with catering.”

 

A pause.

A long pause.

Aztec stepped closer to the official, towering in stillness rather than size.

 

Aztec:

“I won this.”

 

Official:

“Won what?”

 

Aztec:

“The right.”

 

Official:

“At what event?”

 

Aztec did not answer immediately.

The crowd began chanting something uncertain — half supportive, half confused.

 

Referee (quietly to the official):

“Is this a bit?”

 

Official (whispering back):

“I don’t know.”

 

Aztec reached into his robe and pulled out a folded parchment.

He unrolled it dramatically.

The camera zoomed in.

It was blank.

Aztec stared at it.

The crowd went silent.

 

Aztec (softly):

“…It was here.”

 

Official:

“There is nothing there.”

 

Aztec’s breathing slowed.

 

He lifted the briefcase again, gripping it tighter.

 

Aztec:

“This guarantees me a championship match at any time.”

 

Official:

“No it doesn’t. That’s not a MAWL stipulation. We don’t even have a briefcase system.”

 

The words hit like a missed superkick.

The champion in the ring slowly rolled out, unnoticed.

Aztec stood frozen.

 

Official:

“Did you clear this with management?”

 

Aztec’s voice lowered.

 

Aztec:

“I do not require clearance.”

 

Official:

“Yes. You do.”

 

The crowd began to boo — not angrily, but confused.

Aztec’s eyes flicked to the tron.

Nothing appeared.

No graphic.

No confirmation.

Just static MAWL branding.

Aztec looked down at the briefcase.

For a moment, doubt flickered across his ancient expression.

 

Aztec:

“You announced it.”

 

Official:

“We absolutely did not.”

 

A production assistant ran down with a clipboard.

 

Assistant:

“I checked the formats for the last six months. There’s no mention of this. No qualifying match. No contract. Nothing.”

 

Aztec’s fingers slowly loosened around the handle.

 

Aztec:

“…The timelines were altered.”

 

Official:

“I’m going to need you to leave the ring.”

 

The words hung heavy.

 

Aztec did not move.

 

Official (firmer):

“You are not scheduled. You are not sanctioned. And there is no cash-in.”

 

The referee gently handed the briefcase back.

 

Referee:

“Sorry.”

 

The crowd began a soft chant.

“LET HIM FIGHT.”

 

Clap clap clap-clap-clap.

Aztec lifted the briefcase one more time… then slowly lowered it.

 

Aztec:

“You do not recognize it.”

 

Official:

“Correct.”

 

Aztec:

“But it exists.”

 

Official:

“…Not here it doesn’t.”

 

A long silence.

Aztec closed his eyes.

The arena lights flickered.

Just slightly.

Just enough to make everyone uneasy.

 

Aztec:

“Very well.”

 

He stepped toward the ropes.

 

Aztec:

“If this realm denies the contract… then I shall collect in another.”

 

Official:

“That’s not how this works.”

 

Aztec stopped on the apron.

He turned his head, just slightly.

 

Aztec:

“That is exactly how this works.”

 

The lights flickered again.

And when they stabilized—

Aztec was gone.

The ring stood empty.

The official looked at the referee.

 

Official:

“…Did we book that?”

 

Referee:

“I don’t think so.”

 

Backstage, production replayed the footage.

But every time they rewound to Aztec holding the briefcase—

The screen glitched.

Static.

No briefcase.

Just Aztec standing in the ring… with empty hands.

And somewhere, in a timeline that may or may not exist—

The contract is still valid.

 

 

Close up on the door, which opens and we hear two voices that are familiar but in tones that are not, one more angry and defeated than usual and one more conciliatory and reassuring than usual. Both of them are losing their usual pomp and ego.

 

 

Diana: ... look. I know. I'm not telling you, you have every right to be mad at me. You have every right to be disappointed with the team, for blowing the tag match, for not breaking up your pin... the mole, I don't even know what THAT'S about, but-

 

Diana walks in front of SM.

 

Diana: Look. We have one belt left. We can get the others but I have another plan and yes I KNOW my plans are not playing out the way we thought they would but... I defend the title against one of our own girls. I'm thinking Jen. Rox can...officiate. Yeah! Belt guaranteed to stay in Deck, we don't leave this Christmas with nothing, we pick it back up! And-what are you looking at-

 

The camera pans out to see the rest of Deck of Hearts - Rox, CON, Jen, Utterly Vile, even Violent - laid out with Jurassic Park stickers on their backs and "ROAR BITCHES" written in green lipstick on the mirror. SM surveys the damage and then slowly turns his head back to Diana. 

 

Diana: What? SM, babe, buddy, fearless leader, why are you looking at me like- I- 

 

Diana peers back for a second and that's all it takes for it to click.

 

Diana: small Oh Shit. normal volume I know this looks like... I didn't...I...oh fuck....

 

SM looks for a second like he's about to drop Diana. Instead, he does something worse.

 

He leaves.

 

And slams the door right in her face.

 

Diana slides down the doorway, too shocked and confused to do what she really wants to do, which is cry. 

 

 

Kendra: I'm not sure exactly what happened to Deck of Hearts, but it sounds like we're gonna have to watch our main event carefully. 

 

Simon: Especially with the no disqualification throughline in this entire event. 

 

Lenny: We know what happened. Diana Rexed the Deck of Hearts. It was a long time coming, and I don't blame her. 

 

Kendra: And it looks like they were planning for that fight to be Diana Dresden vs Jen Teal, but now we have no idea who's going to step up and challenge Diana. Not to mention that we have no idea what Sex Appeal has planned.

 

Simon: We know that SM has left for the day, but beyond that our main event is a huge question mark.

 

Lenny: But before we even get there, we've got a ways to go, and this match is gonna be absolutely batshit. Ash will tell us more about it. Yo Ash, what's good?

 

 

The three cells are revealed, with the United States Flagpole hanging from the middle. 

 

 

Ash: The following is an Endocytosis Match and it is for the United States Title Shot at W2! The now 13 competitors will start outside the structure and must enter through the top of the structure. They must then break down into the Middle Level, grab the American Flag, and bring it down to the Lower Level to win!

 

 

The competitors - including Lottie Axo, who has been added to the match as a result of the White Elephant - enter the arena and surround the ring.

 

The bell rings!

 

Kendra: And we got new competitor Big Eyan just absolutely throwing fists into James D, just trapping him on the side of the cell and using him as a speedbag. The Beautiful One blasting Alfos with superkicks into the side of the cell. Moon and Damian lancing each other with chops. Ty looking to work his way up the cell, Lesnar yanks him by the back of his singlet and smashes him against the cell! 

 

Lenny: With an odd number of peeps, someone's bound to get away. Aggie and Jacen Tarot making sure it's not each other, Max Matthews exerting Max Power on Thor and bodyslams him against the walls! No one's even considering Lottie a threat, she's getting completely overlooked!

 

Kendra: That's sexism!

 

Simon: Yes, but it's sexism she can use to her advantage in letting everyone else destroy themselves as she climbs upwards. Of course she's not gonna be able to get in without a lot of force, she's gonna need to really drop one of them through that grate. 

 

Kendra: Lesnar launches Ty at Lottie! She loses her grip and comes down! Big Eyan gets James up by the neck, oh but he pushes off against the cell wall and Tornado DDT! Rolls back, running towards Big Eyan and coming for the D Stroyer Knee, Big Eyan slingshots him into the side of the cell! Lesnar coming up behind Big Eyan, Eyan not having it, gets Lesnar by the hand and short-arm clothesline! Picking him up and another! And a third yet!

 

Simon: That's the opening Ty and Rina need, they pick Lesnar up and double suplex! Rina giving Ty a boost and a moonsault, launching him onto Lesnar! Tarot pulling Aggie by his braids and gets the head down, devastating piledriver! Thor gets Matthews up on his shoulders and MJOLNIR'S WRATH COMES EARLY!

 

Lenny: Ain't the only one pullin' out the big guns early on, Alfos with the One Bang sends Vain reeling! Alfos making his way up the structure, Tarot boots him off the cell! Tarot scoops Alfos from the ground and hooks him up for a inverted front powerslam! Ty using the side of the cell to spring himself, Asai Moonsault at Big Eyan NO Big Eyan catching him and going for a running powerslam TY REVERSES AND TORNADO DDT! James D halfway up the first cell and making his way up to the second structure. It's a hell of a climb, but there's no other way in that I can see. 

 

Kendra: Max doesn't agree with you as he Spears Lesnar into that cell wall! I think he's trying to dent it inwards and break in from the bottom!

 

Simon: Even if true, what's your play then? You then have to get up into the Middle Cell to grab that flag. And we're starting to see more people climbing - Lesnar, Max, Thor and Aggie still trying to fight in the bottom way using each other's bodies but everyone else is making their way up. James D has a remarkable advantage as he's a whole cell away from them which means he'll be able to situate himself up top and be much more stable than his opponents. 

 

Kendra: I would think that the play is you wait for someone to drop in from above and snatch the flag before they hit the ground. Remember, it's not who grabs the flag, it's who's standing in the ring in the bottom with it who wins. And the rule doesn't say you HAVE to go through all three levels - we had one Endocytosis Match where someone literally came in with a crane to help their team by knocking the top cell and everyone on it clean off. 

 

Simon: I remember that match. I don't think anyone in this match has enough of a pull to do that, except maybe Damian with Shadow Kawashima. But your point is well-taken. 

 

Lenny: Thor with an Oklahoma Slam on Aggie, Aggie getting his wits about him finally and punching at the face of Thor, Thor backed up and Aggie lifts Thor up... Samoan Drop! Lifting Thor up, gets him by the Waist, Belly to Belly! Keeping his hands on Thor's waist, Belly to Belly swing again this time into the structure! You can see the steel start to give way a little bit, the repetitive stress injury approach is starting to pay off and Max spears both of them into it, weakening the steel further! There is a world in which they pull this off!

 

Kendra: Damian the first one after James D to make it to the top of the structure, James D blasts him with a D Stroyer knee and Damian pushed right to the edge! Big Eyan coming on his way up, gets Damian by the leg and sends him tumbling back off the structure!! James is ready for him, Big Eyan barely up and James T-Bones him to the center of the cell with Monster Truck force!! That'll dent the vent!

 

Simon: Neon Sky up, James D going for another T-Bone BUT NEON LANDS ON HIS FEET!

 

Crowd: Glow! Glow! Glow! 

 

Lenny: Gives the crowd what they want!! Glow Kick takes James D off the top! OH SNAP BIG EYAN SPINS HIM AROUND AND RELEASE SUPLEX ONTO THE CENTER VENT! Weakening that steel!! Vain Plato from another wall of the cell makes his way up, out of the eyeline of Big Eyan and Piledriver to Lancer!! He understands the assignment!! Lancer with a kip up and huracanrana to Vain! The doors are rattling but haven't opened just yet, and Big Eyan takes his run at Vain and Lancer OH A PERPENDICULAR RUN BY  AND EYAN IS DROPKICKED OUT OF HIS PATHWAY!!

 

Simon: Even that quarter inch that she moved him was enough to throw it off, but now she's in his sights, that was probably not the right move. Moon up, attempts to rescue Rina from Eyan and Eyan tosses Lottie at him! They both tumble off the structure! 

 

Kendra: Lotta people finding the tried and true way to manage multi-person matches - use people to hurt other people. Wait-

 

 

Kendra: The Bones Broads are out here and they're beating the living hell out of Lottie!!

 

Lenny: Lottie's been taken effectively out of this match! Aggie suplexing Lesnar into the side of the cell, still trying to break in through the bottom, Max and Lesnar with the double team boot and there's some bending going down there! Big Eyan with a running spinebuster to Vain Plato and both sides busting through at the same time!

 

Simon: BE and Vain dropping down to inside the top cell, Max, Lesnar, and Aggie in through the bottom, Thor behind them and hammer to the back of Lesnar's head! NEON SKY JUMPS THROUGH THE TOP HOLE AND SHOOTING STAR TAKES EYAN AND VAIN DOWN! THAT'S A LOT OF WEIGHT ON THAT MIDDLE GRATE! 

 

Kendra: Damian drops down to that Top Cell, loads himself up, Scalpel Kick to Ty Lancer! VAIN PLATO CATCHES THE LEG AND MERCHANDISE!! THAT COMBINED WEIGHT TAKES THEM DOWN BELOW TO THE MIDDLE CELL!!

 

Simon: New Merch just dropped!!

 

Lenny: Oof. That does put them where the flagpole is though, and Neon Sky goin' full Spider-Man here in climbing up there on the cell! Oh wait! The group below has stopped pounding on each other for a moment... Thor underneath the apron and Max Matthews on the other side of the ring under the apron as well, and they're pulling out ladders! I think they're gonna try to break in from the bottom up!! 

 

Simon: Setting up the ladders, meanwhile in the middle, we got Neon Sky on the flag pole! He's gonna get it!

 

Kendra: Only thing he's gonna get is a body full of pain, Damian running himself back for a Scalpel Kick! OH NEON SKY EVADES KOALA STYLE! BIG EYAN WITH A GIANT SITOUT SPINEBUSTER TO DAMIAN BLACKHEART! THOR ON ONE LADDER, MATTHEWS AND LESNAR RACING UP ANOTHER...LOOK OUT BELOW!!! JACEN TAROT WITH A TWO-STORY DROP FISHERMAN BRAINBUSTER TO MOON!!! THAT IS ONE HELL OF AN AVALANCHE HANGMAN'S RITE!!! THE VELOCITY AND THE WEIGHT, WITH BIG EYAN AND DAMIAN COLLATERAL DAMAGE, IS ENOUGH TO SMASH THROUGH THAT LAST GRATE!!! THEY ALL COME SPILLING DOWN CAUSING HAVOC WITH THE LADDERS!!! NEON SKY'S UNLATCHED THE FLAG!!!! HE JUMPS DOWN VAIN BOOTS HIM IN MID AIR!!! HOLY HELL!!

 

Lenny: What a perfectly aimed shot... Neon tumbles through the hall, but hanging by a thread... OH it's only because Vain has the other end of the flag! Good thing we're not in the Midwestern US right now, these two would be hog tied for what they're doing to this flag... VAIN PULLS UP QUICKLY AND YANKS THE FLAG FROM NEON SKY!!! NEON COMPLETES HIS TUMBLE DOWN AND VAIN WRAPS HIMSELF IN THE FLAG LIKE A CAPE!

 

Simon: More like a Parachute! He uses it to float down MAX SPEARS HIM!!! 

 

Kendra: Vain flattened on the mat, but it doesn't matter! He still has the flag, and with that, the victory! The Beautiful One shows us that he's still in this thing!!! And what's more, he's gonna get a Title Shot at the W2!!!

 

Vain Plato wins by possession of the flag!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner! THE BEAUTIFUL ONE! VAIN! PLATO!!

 

Simon: Pour one out for Lottie Axo though, she was robbed from her chance to have a chance.

 

Kendra: You should probably not talk about things non-Vain Plato related directly after a Vain Plato win.

 

Lenny: He gets testy.

 

Simon: I guess when you don't win very often, that'll happen, yeah.

 

Vain Plato turns to Simon and starts to mouth off a bit, it can't be heard but the energy is sure threatening. Officials move Vain back. 

 

Kendra: I think Simon might get his in-ring debut against the Beautiful One! 

 

 

Yuletide comes out to the apron to immense cheers, proudly holding the Trios belt on one shoulder and his Santa's Sack dragging behind him with the other hand. The crowd loses it!

 

 

Yuletide: A very MERRY HOLIDAY HELLSCAPE TO YOU ALL! EVEN TO YOU LOSERS LIKE SM HEARTBREAKER!

 

Yuletide pats the title on his shoulder.

 

Yuletide: But! I am here now not as a competitor, but as a presenter! In fact, I have Eight very exciting gifts for our next nine competitors! 

 

 

The nine superstars make their way down to the ring from all angles. Yuletide reaches into his bag.

 

Yuletide: Have you all been on the Nice List? I guess this is not the place for it. Well I don't have coal, but we're about to have our first match type, and it is...

 

He pulls out a blood bag.

 

 

Yuletide: First Blood!!

 

The bell rings and everyone starts throwing hands.

 

Kendra: So how this works is every time someone is eliminated, the stipulation changes. We're starting with a first blood match, and this is definitely the crowd for it. Great to see Gozu back in matches with people his own size as he and Ivan Volkov blasting monster chops against each others' chests. Shadow with a running powerslam to Chorker! Chorker gets his hands around the head of Shadow and punching at him.

 

Simon: Pitta Power with hard rights to the Grunt and launching him into a turnbuckle, big running splash on its way! El Cerrador with a backhand to Malcri, Malcri blocks and blasts him with a roundhouse. 

 

Lenny: That leaves Tank alone, and that's a dangerous statement as he's surveying the scene just looking for who he's going to wreck first. After careful consideration, he devastates Malcri with a boot. Picking El Cerrador up and putting him down with a Spinebuster. 

 

Kendra: Gozu with a Sky High Chokeslam to Ivan Volkov!! How often do you see Ivan Volkov get manhandled like that?? Spins around and blasting Shadow Kawashima and a bionic elbow, Tank just mows Gozu over with that clothesline! Oh, I think he just made him MAD mad. Gozu creaking his neck, turning his attention to Tank and Ivan from behind with a Polish Hammer! Gozu fighting a two-front war!

 

Simon: Pitta Power going for the Power Slap, Grunt gets his hand and bends his fingers back, that'd work better in a regular match but it'll take some of the power out and that's a good long-term move.

 

Kendra: Yes but only if you can reap the benefits of it and Ivan Volkov diverts his attentions from Gozu and rushes The Grunt with an uppercut palm to the nose! He just caused a nosebleed and probably broke Grunt's schnozz in the process!

 

The Grunt is eliminated by Ivan Volkov! (1) Yuletide retakes the stage.

 

Yuletide: Well now! One crazy fight has come and gone!

 

A Menorah rises up on the stage and he lights the first candle.

 

Yuletide: Let's see what the magic bag has in store, as blood will be enough no more!

 

Yuletide pulls out... a table setting.

 

 

Yuletide: The furniture is most unstable, put the next one through a table! Ho Ho Ho!

 

The bell rings again.

 

Lenny: We're moving to a Table Match! Something like this could be a quick in and out, or it could be a whole haul OH Chorker has Pitta up in the One Handed Choke... RELEASE CHORK SLAM LAUNCHES PITTA THROUGH THE FLEMISH ANNOUNCERS' TABLE! 

 

Pitta Power is eliminated by Chorker! (1)

 

Kendra: Good thing Yuletide didn't have a chance to move.

 

Yuletide lights the second candle then reaches into his bag and pulls out a lock. Gozu sees the writing on the wall and gets the Butcher's Hook locked on Chorker!

 

 

Yuletide: Last one did little to the clock, but now you must lock in that lock! Submission match!

 

Simon: Gozu was ready to go once he saw that lock! Cerrador has the El Cerrón in on Malcri! Shadow Kawashima with a scoop slam on Tank, and straps in the Cobra Clutch! It's a tap race and Ivan just waiting out the next elimination, no, wait Volkov tosses Shadow off to the side and Volkov Vice!! And Chorker, Tank, and Malcri fighting to get to the ropes, Malcri starting to punch back at EC, Tank fighting to his feet but Ivan has it wrenching, and Chorker is gonna be the one to be taken out! Gozu notches a fall!

 

Chorker is eliminated by Gozu! (1) Yuletide retakes the stage and lights the third candle.

 

Lenny: I don't think they were expecting these first three falls to be so fast. 

 

Kendra: When you have to go through 8 different fights with 8 different opponents, you wanna move through the list as quick as possible, if you try to give 9 full matches then you're just asking to be completely burned out.

 

Yuletide reaches into his bag, and pulls out... a snow globe?

 

Lenny: What kind of match is this?

 

 

A snow removal crane drives onto the stage!

 

Yuletide: You moved too fast for tales to unfold, but this next one will stop you cold! In the Snowplow Match, you have to take the seat of the snowplow and hold an opponent in the mouth of the crane for 10 seconds! 

 

Simon: Well damn. Okay. So we've got 6 people left. EC lets go of Malcri, realizing it's not gonna get the win, and Malcri spins around and just drops him with a Spinebuster! Shadow charges Gozu, but Gozu with a Back Body Drop just absolutely devastating the monster! OH AND IVAN SPINS GOZU AROUND AND A RUNNING POWERSLAM! TANK CATCHES IVAN OUT WITH A BIG BOOT!

 

Kendra: Tank lifts Ivan up into a Military Press... NO! INVERTED FRONT POWERSLAM! AIR RAID! BUT GOZU UP BEHIND HIM AND HAS THE FULL NELSON LOCKED IN AND DROPS HIM DOWN WITH THE FACEBUSTER!! DEVIL'S DESCENT!!! SPUN AROUND AND SHADOW WITH THE CHOKEBREAKER!! AND HE JUST TOSSED GOZU RIGHT INTO THE SHADOWREALM!!!

 

Lenny: MALCRI DDT TO SHADOW OH DAMN IVAN IRON CURTAIN TO MALCRI! 

 

Kendra: Gozu taking a run and blasts Ivan with a huge shotgun dropkick! Ivan blasted outside the ring! I always forget he can move like that! Wait, what's he.... GOZU TOPE CON HILO! HE JUST FLATTENED THE SIBERIAN TITAN!! WAIT, I THINK HE STARTED A TRAIN... MALCRI LAUNCHES HIMSELF OUT.... THERE'S THAT HURACANRANADIAN DESTROYER!!!! BOLIVIANRANA TO GOZU!!! 

 

Simon: SHADOW KAWASHIMA RIDES THE TRAIN - SPRINGBOARD SPLASH ABSOLUTELY FLATTENING GOZU AND MALCRI!! But they're on the complete other side of the ring from the Plow! 

 

Lenny: Well that ain't gonna stop them from wreckin' each other, Gozu boots Ivan over the barricade, Shadow with a powerslam to Malcri. Tank decimates Cerrador in the ring with an Alabama Slam, and oh he's got the feet of Cerrador still in hand! He's givin' him the Hulk-to-Loki pipeline here!! 

 

Kendra: Cerrador's a tiny lucha man, he has no business being in the ring with these giants! And Tank is showing him exactly that here! Oooooh we're goin' swingin' and Cerrador is launched out towards the digger! 

 

Simon: Malcri breaking away from the Gozu-Shadow-Ivan insanity and taking the express route through the ring - back out the other side with a Tornillo to Tank!! And it looks like Cerrador is gonna take the break to find his way over to the Plow and he's getting into the driver's seat now, I hope they clearly marked the instructions of use there, none of these men watched the Forklift Safety DVD to my knowledge. 

 

Lenny: Tank to his feet and scoops Malcri up for a front slam... no! He's gonna run him into the steps! Oh, I think Cerrador's got the controls figured out and down comes the plow scooper! He's trying to get Malcri in the mouth of it... and he's successful! All he has to do now is lift him up TANK ONTO THE HOOD OF THE VEHICLE AND BUSTING THROUGH THAT WINDSHIELD!!! SPEAR TO THE SEATED CERRADOR!! THE HANDLE DROPS AND THAT'S GONNA BE A THUNK FOR MALCRI. 

 

Simon: This is where I agree with you Kendra, he could have just let Cerrador eliminate Malcri, rather than running through glass. You have to question the thinking on that one. 

 

Kendra: For sure.You can see that the quick drop of the scooper did some wreckage to the side of Malcri, he's up but he's movin' slower. And now the seat of that machine is covered in glass, Tank and Cerrador are wiped from the impact... who really benefited from that?

 

Lenny: Tank and Cerrador exchanging blows as their combined weight reclines that seat back, Tank kicking a lever in the process and Malcri still has enough of his wits about him to roll-evade the arms of that machine! On the other side, Shadow Kawashima topples over from that immense Red Blizzard Lariat! Gozu locks a Cobra Clutch in on Ivan and a big bulldog just brings the Russian down. Tank tries to monkey flip EC backwards and EC hits the inner roof of the vehicle oh and he just lands back down on Tank. That wasn't too well thought out.

 

Simon: No but there really isn't much you can do in the seat, oh here comes Malcri to remedy that and pulls Cerrador out the door, scoop slam toss onto the side of the hood. Going back and looking to pull Tank out, Tank boots him away! OOOH you can hear Malcri's chest cavity imploding with that boot. Tank seems more comfortable behind the controls of that machine, as he backs it up the ramp a bit and spins it around, looks like he's gonna try to get Malcri scooped... and he succeeds! Lifting up, and here comes Jenny with the count-

 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO!

 

Simon: If he can keep Malcri down then this will be an easy out for him.

 

Classic Jenny: THREE! F-

 

Kendra: Malcri climbing out of the bed...running DOWN THE ARM, ONTO THE HOOD.... BASEBALL SLIDE DROPKICK THROUGH THE BROKEN WINDSHIELD! 

 

Crowd: THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME!

 

Simon: Malcri blasting Tank with a rapid-fire stomping, almost throwing a Liu Kang bicycle kick in that seat. Tank gets his feet, slams him upwards! This time the roof was the goal, and he whings him right back out of the car! OH MALCRI ROLLS AND TO HIS FEET...TAKING A RUN AND JUMPS UP, GRABS THE TOP OF THE DOOR FRAME AND SWING DROPKICK PUSHING TANK INTO THE PASSENGER'S SEAT! Much easier to exchange punches this way! Malcri slams Tank's head on the glove compartment, Tank slams Malcri's on the wheel. Malcri with side elbow and he finds the manual under the seat, smashes it into Tank's face! That's one way to get the knowledge in your head. 

 

Kendra: Cerrador uses this to pull Tank out by his pockets and mounted punches, Tank rolls him back around and gives some of his own, both of them just exhausted though! On the other side of the ring, Shadow with a double handed chokeslam just launching Ivan onto the steps, and Shadow breaks away, oh Malcri moving the glass out of the way and he gets the arm of the plow down! He scoops up both Tank and Cerrador! He's gonna try to eliminate them both and oh they're up!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO!

 

Lenny: Does it remain eight fights if two people get eliminated?

 

Classic Jenny: THREE! FOUR! 

 

Simon: That...is a good question.

 

Classic Jenny: FIVE!

 

Kendra: They are to their feet, so it's a moot point, and Tank drills Cerrador down with a spinebuster, and pulls the plow arm down with him. 

 

Lenny: Damn!

 

Simon: Shadow Kawashima is gonna jump out from the top!! This is nuts!! SENTON TO EL CERRADOR!! TANK BLASTS HIM WITH THE STEPS!!! MALCRI PULLS THE ARM DOWN AND HE GETS SHADOW IN THE SCOOPER, UP WE GO! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Lenny: Tank and EC showed that this isn't necessarily the end, if Shadow can get up!

 

Classic Jenny: FOUR! FIVE!

 

Simon: Gozu and Ivan wisely choosing to stay away from this heavy machinery, as Ivan picks Gozu up for the Titan-NO! Gozu with a double axe handle and able to get back to his feet.

 

Classic Jenny: SIX! SEVEN!

 

Kendra: Shadow is up!!! Shadow has his hands on the edge of the scoop and he's trying to climb out MALCRI RELEASES THE ARM!!! HE SENDS IT CRASHING TO THE GROUND!! SHADOW FALLS BACK DOWN WITH A THUNK!! MALCRI FIGURED OUT THE LEVERS LIKE A PRO AND HE'S SLAMMING THAT ARM UP AND DOWN! HE'S TREATING SHADOW LIKE A DAMN BASKETBALL!

 

Simon: Lifting back up and trying again-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Kendra: Ivan swings Gozu by the legs into the barricade!! 

 

Classic Jenny: FOUR! FIVE!

 

Lenny: I shudder to think what else is in that bag of Yule's. 

 

Classic Jenny: SIX! SEVEN!

 

Simon: Our insurance premiums are gonna skyrocket, that's for sure.

 

Classic Jenny: EIGHT!

 

Kendra: El Cerrador rolls himself under the ring and away from action.

 

Classic Jenny: NINE!

 

Lenny: And here we go folks!

 

Classic Jenny: TEN!

 

Shadow Kawashima is eliminated by Malcri! (1)

 

Simon: What's gonna happen now?

 

Yuletide takes the stage with the bag in hand and lights the fourth candle. 

 

Yuletide: What do we have now? 

 

He pulls out a lighter!

 

 

Yuletide: In order to light the fifth candle, this one must be too hot to handle! IT'S A FLAMETHROWER MATCH!

 

El Cerrador steps out from under the ring, and he is already brandishing the flamethrower! 

 

Simon: That was a happy accident. Or he knew what was in the bag. Either way, Cerrador is ready for-nope, Tank with the German Suplex and yanks the flamethrower from him, unleashes and Cerrador rolls away from the flames, Malcri drops the arm of the crane onto Tank! Officials getting Malcri out from the seat so they can drive this away but the damage is done and Tank is all sorts of discombobulated. Malcri grabs the flamethrower.  

 

Lenny: Gozu and Ivan both looking under the ring for another flamethrower. I don't know how many are available though.

 

Kendra: I assume only one, since only one person needs eliminating. Of course, I could be wrong.

 

Simon: So it's gonna be a game of literal Hot Potato with that Flamethrower, only what you don't want is the business end of it! Gozu and Ivan both have eyes on Malcri, I would try to light one of them up right now - oh, Malcri is throwing the flamethrower down, he wants to fight with fists! 

 

Lenny: Being like "I don't need a weapon" is fine - when the win condition isn't literally use the weapon. 

 

Kendra: I think you don't need the weapon, you just need to not be on the receiving end. It's like that Ken Jeong game show, where the goal is Don't Finish Last. Malcri with mounted punches to Cerrador and Gozu and Ivan both see the open flamethrower... it's a race! Ivan through the ring, runs the length, Baseball Slide to Gozu! Ivan has the Flamethrower!

 

Simon: Not a Cold War anymore! 

 

Lenny: Ivan approaching Malcri, OH El Cerrador turns the tables and is mounting punches...which puts him in the wrong place wrong time!! EL CERRADOR TAKES THE BURN!!!

 

El Cerrador is eliminated by Ivan Volkov!

 

Kendra: Cerrador unintentionally made himself a human shield. And here comes Yuletide with his bag. 

 

Yuletide brings the bag onstage... is it heavier? He scratches his head for a moment but lights the fifth candle and starts to reach in the bag. He pulls out...

 

 

 

...Milo?

 

Quick. Time to improvise.

 

Yuletide: ...I pulled a Nerd from In the Bag, so toss him like a doll of rag! It's a Milo Toss Match!

 

Nailed it.

 

 

Milo realizes what's just happened and gulps. He searches for his Fracture mask...

 

And realizes that Yuletide has it. 

 

Yuletide: Trying to steal Santa's sack puts you on the naughty list, little boy.

 

The wrestlers all turn to each other, and turn to Milo. Milo tries to run-

 

 

Aztec blocks his path!

 

Kendra: Now this is a type of match that HEAVILY favors Gozu, who has a history of tossing nerds at other nerds. 

 

Simon: But I've had Arvin tossed at oh ok I see what you did there. Cute.

 

Lenny: Well, they're all charging and Milo has nowhere to go, and sure enough Gozu is the first to grab a hold of the twerp. He tosses him at Malcri, Malcri rolls under! Airballed! 

 

Kendra: That means Milo will just land on the ramp with a thump. Hopefully this will be a short-lived round for his sake. I don't know what use a chair will be in this type of match but Tank is carrying one and Ivan tosses Milo at Tank OH that's what it's for, he swats Milo away with a chair! 

 

Simon: Milo doesn't deserve this. Tank picks Milo back up and sends him right back at Ivan and that'll land!

 

Ivan Volkov is eliminated by Tank Vanguard! (1)

 

Lenny: Well, Milo is being taken back to medical and the sack is safe another day.

 

Yuletide eyes him as he leaves and then lights the sixth candle. 

 

Kendra: Only 2 to go, what's coming out next? 

 

Yuletide pulls out a toy Rudolph. 

 

 

Yuletide: If the last match you wish to lock, put on the nose and give a shock! It's a Rudolph's nose match!

 

Lenny: And the noses are falling from the sky! So what needs to happen?

 

Kendra: There are conductors inside the nose. Lock them on the face of your opponent, hold it and administrate a shock to your opponent. 

 

Simon: And it's down to Malcri, Tank, and Gozu, and the three are trading punches back and forth. Tank gets Malcri up... and holding, hoooolding... Stalling Vertical Suplex! Gozu behind him, Cobra Clutch Bulldog! Gozu lifts Malcri up and Sky High Chokeslams him onto Tank! Gozu taking a climb up onto the tron... oh he's taking a big risk here, but I think he's going for a Purgatory Plunge!!

 

Lenny: Down he comes... MALCRI AND TANK ROLL AWAY! GOZU AIRBALLS AND THE RISK HAS NO REWARD! I don't think I've ever seen Gozu miss the mark like that!

 

Kendra: Malcri gets a headlock on Tank, he's looking to hit the M-DDT on Tank... wait, what's he... he's looking for a red nose, he wants to end this... but the distraction gave too much time, and Tank back body drops him off the stage! Malcri goes tumbling!! Tank gets Gozu's legs and lifting him up, Alabama Slam!! Tank is taking control of the situation here, going for the deadlift and Gutwrench Powerbomb! BLITZKRIEG! 

 

Simon: Tank going to look for a red nose, he gets one and... we didn't talk about this before but this win condition does favor Gozu, do you just conntect the nose to his mask? How do you eliminate him in this?

 

Lenny: It's a Valid point and Malcri jumps on the back of Tank! Trying to get a Sleeper locked in so he can lodge that nose on, ooooh and he gets judo flipped by Tank! Malcri trying to get his footing at the edge of the stage and Tank boots him off! 

 

Kendra: Malcri has had a pretty solid run so far in his time here but this might be putting that streak in a bit of peril, Malcri struggling to his feet and Gozu has him locked in a full nelson!! Up we go.... DEVIL'S DESCENT!!! He rolls Malcri over and going for the nose, Malcri just able to grab his hand and trying to twist it around, Hammerlock Lariat! Climbing back up to the stage, GOZU PULLS HIM BACK DOWN WITH A HUGE HIGH ANGLE GERMAN SUPLEX! HERE COMES TANK WITH AN AXE HANDLE!

 

Simon: These three are brutalizing the hell out of each other, they clearly want a shot at this Eurasian Belt, but Tank made a miscalculation on that Axe Handle! His arm catches on one of Gozu's horns! Oh damn! That's gonna hurt like hell! 

 

Lenny: Gozu's gonna nose him and TANK BLOCKS IT WITH HIS GOOD HAND! TANK BENDING GOZU'S ARM BACK, GOZU DRILLS HIM WITH A HEADBUTT! MALCRI WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO GOZU'S BACK NO GOZU DUCKS HIM! WHAT INSANE AWARENESS! BACK TO THE OTHER SIDE OF HIM AND DEVIL'S DESCENT NUMERO DOS!! HE'S GOT THE NOSE ON AND SQUEEZE!! MALCRI LIGHTS UP!!

 

Malcri is eliminated by Gozu! (2)

 

Simon: That's a way to embarrass the Bolivian Proud, and Malcri is clearly pissed as he's led out. We are down to Tank and Gozu!!

 

Yuletide comes and lights the 7th candle. 

 

Yuletide: I've got one more treat here in my bag. Let's see... ah, here it us.

 

Yuletide pulls out... a stuffed polar bear.

 

 

Yuletide: And now here comes the final fall, the highest and coldest of them all! It's a Polar Bear Plunge Match!

 

A crane comes out with a LARGE pool, filled with Ice Water, that is placed under the Titantron.

 

Simon: So what I am being told is the way to win this final match is to drop your opponent from the TITANTRON into the Ice Water within this Pool structure. The Walls of this Pool are too high to go in any other way, and there's no ladder. 

 

Lenny: If I'm Gozu, I'm pissed. Going up there has already proven a detriment to me. 

 

Kendra: Well Tank is already climbing up, I assume that he is working on the idea that if you get your footing first, it's easier to throw someone else down. Gozu looking up, and he might be feeling pissed under that mask, we can't tell, but what he's clearly not is scared. Up to his feet, back onto the ramp, and he's climbing the other side. We're gonna have the final part of this match take place at the top of the Tron and Tank charges Gozu with a clothesline! Gozu off his feet but able to stay on the beam!

 

Lenny: Tank gets his feet and Alabama Slam! You can see the sparks flying!! That steel will only be able to take so much of this! Grabbing Gozu's feet again and Powerbomb! The steel is shaking and Gozu is a bit more wobbly, holding onto the beam and this match is the most vulnerable the big man has been in a long time... Tank trying to boot him off but Gozu refusing to let go, and he pulls on Tank's legs YANKS HIM DOWN AND HE JUST GOT STEEL NARDED! 

 

Simon: Gozu fighting back to his feet, back on the beam, boot to the face of Tank and Tank pushed back, he's got his legs wrapped around the beam and he's holding on for dear life, Gozu boots Tank again and he goes 180 but still holding on!! 

 

Kendra: Impressive leg strength by Tank Vanguard, he's got his hands free and pulls Gozu down with him! Gozu looks... annoyed but unstunned! 

 

Lenny: It's that cup! Gozu always keeps himself protected! But what he's having a harder time with is balance and he also 180s! We've got a bat fight!! They're throwing punches at each other upside down on that beam!! This is crazy!! Tank smashes Gozu face first into the beam, Gozu returning the favor!! Wait, what the hell is he doing?? 

 

Kendra: Gozu has transferred the entirety of his body weight to the midsection of Tank!! Wait, what in the acrobatic good Godlessness is this, Gozu THROWS HIS LEGS TO THE OTHER SIDE.... SPIDER SUPLEX!!! HE JUST SPIDER SUPLEXED TANK VANGUARD THE HELL OFF THE BEAM!!! HE HITS THE WATER WITH MONSTER FORCE!!! HOLY! SHIT! 

 

Tank Vanguard is eliminated by Gozu! (3) Gozu is the winner!

 

 

Yuletide lights the 8th Candle as Gozu swings his way back onto the Beam. 

 

Ash: Here is your winner! The Patron Saint of Pain!! GOOOOOZU!!!! 

 

Simon: It's been a real hard road for Gozu since dropping his belt at Fallout, but he's ending his year and entering the W2 season on a high note, as he not only has the Legacy Title Match to look forward to but now he could be walking out with the Eurasian Belt as well. 

 

Kendra: And Yuletide raises his hand-wait-!

 

 

Kendra: SM IS HERE! SM IS HERE AND HE'S UNLOADING ON YULETIDE WITH A YULE LOG!! AND A SHOT TO THE FACE OF GOZU WITH THE LOG TOO!! 

 

Lenny: But we saw him drive away!

 

Simon: I... guess... that could have been Ryan Reynolds again! SM yanking on Yule's beard and just slamming his fists into his face!

 

Lenny: Here come the stripes brigade to break it up, but while we see a Santa get wrecked, we're about to go to see his workshop treated no better! 

 

 

In Santa's workshop, arose such a clatter, as all the good toys started to shatter.

 

 

Two incensed rival sisters, on the naughty list,

Laying into each other with foot, arm and fist.

 

 

Okay, we can't keep up this rhyme the whole match.

 

Jassy immediately smashes Lustress Jamie with a giant candy cane across the ribs then takes the hook part around Jamie's neck and flips her over through a pinewood table. Jassy gets a string of Christmas lights around the throat of Jamie, and she's choking her out! 

 

Jamie fighting to her feet, trying to get her thumbs around the string to loosen the hold on her neck, and it takes some gagging but she's ultimately successful. She grabs Jassy behind her and hits her with a backpack stunner. Jamie gets the legs of Jassy and deadlifts her into a Wheelbarrow Facebuster. 

 

Jamie looking around to see what's around, she shakes the Christmas tree in the corner of the room to release some of the rounded hooked ornaments. Jassy, unaware of this, to her feet and charges her, Jamie flapjacks her face first into the ornaments on the ground! Many of them shatter!

 

Jamie finds a reindeer harness and ties Jassy up with it! She puts the hard part of the handle in Jassy's mouth and pulls back in a Crossface Variation! Jassy gagging and coughing a bit, trying to get to her feet but can't do it... crawling to a nearby table and sees a tall glass jug of milk... she shatters it on Jamie!! Jamie screams in agony!

 

Jassy takes the harness off her, climbs onto the table, perched and waiting for Jamie to get up, AVALANCHE SLAP! Jassy pulls her up and onto her shoulders looking for the Off With Her Head... Jamie pulls herself down and pushes Jassy into the Brick Wall! Grabs her hair and smashes her face repeatedly into the brick! Jassy pulls a stocking off the mantle instinctively and smashes Jamie with it! It's full of coal and Jamie staggers back! Jassy flips her with a clothesline!! 

 

Jassy grabs a line of tinsel but this gives Jamie time to get herself more aware... she grabs Jassy by the legs and trips her!! She gets the Tinsel and ties Jassy's arms with it!! Stomp to Jassy's face, walks over to the Christmas Lights and Jassy up to her feet, struggling to get the Tinsel off and can't make it happen, sweep kick by Jamie takes Jassy right back down and Jamie ties Jassy's feet up with the lights!! 

 

She walks over to the face of Jassy... FOOT IN HER MOUTH!! SHE IS SITTING DOWN CRISS CROSS APPLESAUCE ON JASSY'S THROAT!!

 

JAM-A-FUTRA!!!

 

Jassy refusing to tap, Jassy gagging and retching but trying to keep herself in! Wait... what does...

 

Jamie has a copy of Twas the Night Before Christmas!

 

Jamie (mocking Jassy's nasally tone to obnoxious effect):

Twas the night befoa' Christmas

An' all through that house

Notta creatcha was stirrin'...

 

Jassy taps!!! Jassy wants it to stop!!! 

 

Lustress Jamie defeats Jassy!

 

 

Jamie lightly smacks Jassy's cheek before getting up and letting her sputter, spit, retch, and gag on the floor.

 

 

Lenny: It looks like Jassy's not gonna be added to that title match.

 

Simon: I'd be lying if I said I was broken up over it.

 

Kendra: Well, it'll give Jassy ample time to wash that taste from her mouth. You gotta imagine that we just got a glimpse into what the Harrison Christmases looked like growing up. 

 

Lenny: Well, speaking of core childhood holiday memories, this crowd is about to experience some collective trauma...

 

 

"Krampus" comes out with his giant sack. A very mixed reaction from this crowd.

 

 

Kendra: I'd ask if we'd see Yuletide take him on but I think SM prevented that from happening, and ended up on the VIP Naughty List for probably the rest of his days. 

 

 

Ash: The following contest is a Krampusnacht Match! The match ends when one contestant is completely in the sack and hit with the switch! 

 

Simon: You mentioned, Lenny, the core memories of the people in this arena and you'd have to think that includes the two competitors, as we're about to see two local boys go at it.

 

 

Rufus comes out dressed in a trench coat, and tan colored overalls. A freakish hockey and gas mask hybrid. His song 'Schattenboxen' blasts over the speakers.

 

 

Ash: FIRST! From here in Berlin, weighing in at 97 kg, the Psycho Extreme, RUUUUUFUS!

 

Rufus marches to the ring rolling his neck and wrists, then tilting his head, and intimidating the crowd. He climbs onto the apron, and climbs the turnbuckle and points at fans in the crowd like he's picking his next vicitms. He jumps down from the turnbuckle. Then stands in the corner and slowly removes his hat and mask.

 

Simon: Rufus was the latest person to break with Nero, in pretty dramatic fashion, last week at Thankless.

 

Then in an unsuspecting twist, he slyly turns to the hard cam, while continually moving in and out of frame of the hard cam, as if he's trying to dodge its view, and shadowbox it.

 

Suddenly - "SCHMETTERLIIIIIIING!"

 

 

The crowd goes nuts. NUTS. For Schmetterling as he steps onto the stage, flamethrower raised. Til screams "MEIN HERZ BRENNT!" and Schmetterling blasts the fire into the air. 

 

 

Ash: And his opponent!! From Mellrichstadt, weighing in at 219 pounds, SCHMETTERLIIIIIIIIIIING!!! 

 

He high-fives crowd members as he walks down the ramp. Every time the chorus kicks in, Schmetterling shoots the fire up again. 

 

Simon: Schmetterling may be from a different part of Germany than Rufus, who is from exactly here, but this crowd is more for the Metal Butterfly. 

 

Kendra: As people grow in support for Nero, Rufus' actions definitely have turned the crowd on him.

 

Rufus boots Schmetterling right back over the rope as the bell rings!

 

Lenny: Rufus isn't gaining any brownie points with THAT move, that's for sure! Schmetterling tumbles outside the ring, Rufus hops the ropes and jumps down... scraping those boots on Schmetterling! We're STARTING OFF with the Romper Stomper! 

 

Simon: A high bar to begin the match, and Rufus scoops Schmetterling up... a running Spinebuster right onto the steps! And just unloading a flurry of fists to truly brutalize Schmetterling! Rufus is smart enough to go for the forehead, just outside the range of the mask. 

 

Kendra: Pulling Schmetterling up by the hair, and DDT smashing him right back into the steps! Picking him up by the head again, Schmetterrling throwing punches to the gut to get Rufus off him, Rufus eats a Gutwrench Powerbomb onto the Steps! 

 

Lenny: Rufus seems like a much bigger dude, but you take the armor off and he's actually 6 pounds lighter than Schmetterling. Schmetterling up to the apron, spring up to the top and diving headbutt!! Rufus takes a face full of steel. Schmetterling scoops him up, going for the Butterfly Piledriver, Rufus back body drops him! Locking up his head, Rufus nails a front facelock suplex!

 

Simon: Schmetterling shaking it off, trying to get to his feet, Rufus coming for a stomp, Schmetterling rolls away just in time, grabs the leg and Exploder Suplex! Slingshots Rufus's head back into the steps! Schmetterling gets him up on his shoulders, takes a run and Samoan Drop! He goes towards Krampus for the sack, Rufus runs him down with a clothesline! 

 

Kendra: Dominator by Rufus! Picks Schmetterling's head up and right into his knee!! Workbench Facebuster!!! Rufus approaching Krampus, Schmetterling up and Release German!! REISEN!!! HE LAUNCHES RUFUS RIGHT BEHIND HIM!!!

 

Lenny: Schmetterling clearly still feeling dizzy from that Workbench, moving a little slowly towards Krampus, Rufus won't stay down! Rufus takes a charge and Bulldog, NO! SCHMETTERLING SLIDES AWAY FROM IT, BEHIND HIM, GOING FOR ANOTHER REISEN, RUFUS LANDS ON HIS FEET AND GETS BEHIND HIM, CROSSFACE CHICKENWING!! SCHMETTERLING STRUGGLING, BUT FIGHTING TO HIS FEET... FALLBACK SLAM!!! SCHMETTERLING MAKING HIS WAY UP TO KRAMPUS, RUFUS TRIPS HIM AND RIPS HIM WITH A RIB KICK! 

 

Simon: Schmetterling tries to pull at his ankle, Rufus faceplants! Schmetterling pulls Rufus by the Ankle and trying for an Elevated Ankle Lock, Rufus pushes his feet up and kicks Schmetterling away, to his feet KRAMPUS GETS HIM WITH A DISCUS ELBOW TO THE HEAD! What the-

 

 

Lenny: NERO IS KRAMPUS! KRAMPUS IS NERO!

 

Simon: Schmetterling to his feet, Nero hands him the bag, Schmetterling bags and tags Rufus!! Switch handed over!! SCHMETTERLING WHIPS AND WINS!!!

 

Schmetterling wins!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner... SCHMETTERLING!!!

 

Simon: Nero gets his revenge! 

 

Kendra: What revenge?? Even with Rufus's interference he still won his match.

 

Lenny: Yeah, but it's the principle of the thing. 

 

Simon: Or, for this crowd, it's the Schulleiter of the thing.

 

Lenny: Principle not Prin... anyway. Onto the next match. Ash?

 

 

The 12 teams make their way down to the ring.

 

Ash: The following is a Tag Money in the Bank!  

 

The teams all begin to brawl. 

 

Lenny: We got 24 people absolutely brutalizing each other with no chance of elimination, I don't know that this has been thought through entirely well. I woulda done two rings. 

 

Kendra: Double suplex by Manifestation of Defenestration on Todd Zena, Miles Max throwing fists at Boom Harden. Spinebuster by Alessia Romano to Steve Thunder. Leshy with a double chokeslam to the Yetis!

 

Simon: Luis Diaz with a spin kick wipes out Nicole Odeon, keeps it going and wipes out Penny R. Cade, spins here come the Lane brothers and they knock him back with a double dropkick. Picking him up and they're bouncing his head back and forth with alternating punches, he grabs their heads and donks them together. 

 

Lenny: Guinevere and Morgan Maverick with a double foot choke to Imogen in the corner, Desean Pratt stopping Chanty from getting to her with a half-nelson suplex. Nova Blake and BJ He Irish Whip Manta Ray, going for a double back body drop, AMAZING body awareness by Manta, he comes back down and gets them with a double neckbreaker! He goes to run, maybe looking for a springboard but we won't know because Luis Diaz catches him out with a boot but Press Start with a double back suplex to Luis! 

 

Simon: Press Start and Power Play look like they're planning to work together here, maybe their double date went fairly well, Power Play whipping Alessia at Press Start, they launch her over the rope! Press Start respond in kind with whipping the Firebirds at Power Play, and over they go! They send Steve Thunder over to Press Start and Press Start send Luis Diaz to Power Play, over the ropes! They run cross each other and double-double Springboard Shooting Stars out to the crowd!! 

 

Kendra: Well, we'll see how this shakes out when it comes to actually climbing the ladder, there are no allies when it comes to grabbing that case! Here comes Manta and Corkscrew Plancha to the outside wiping out the Firebirds, Luis Diaz, and Press Start!!! Blake and He eat a double one handed flapjack at the hands of Leshy!! Yarp Yeti gets her in the back with a clubbing axe handle but Kolossus picks him up by his singlet and tosses him out of the ring!

 

Lenny: Yarp is gonna be the first to search under the ring for a ladder, successful but Gilbert Glass with a baseball slide dropkick under the ropes knocks the ladder right into him! Perry Payne follows with a 450 from the top! You gotta love how these teams are working in true tandem. 

 

Simon: Manifestation of Defenestration grabbing the ladder from Yarp and up onto the apron, Boom and Desean grab the ladder from them and boot them off the apron TODD AND MILES BOOT BOOM AND DESEAN ONTO THE APRON! They take the ladder and set it up in the center, oh Press Start in with a ladder of their own, Power Play coming in with a ladder on the other side. Bridging it to the ladder, and that might cut the top of the center ladder off!!

 

Kendra: Penny running one bridge, Derek running the other MATCH POINT PUNCH THE BRIDGES UP WITH A QUICKNESS AND SEND PENNY AND DEREK FLYING! LESHY BOOTS THE CENTER LADDER AND MATCH POINT COME DOWN.

 

Lenny: Getting this case with 11 other teams nipping at your heels is gonna be no mean feat and how do you fit three ladders in the ring with 24 people? One ladder seems hard enough.

 

Simon: It's gonna require a lot of creativity, and it seems that Largess are going to try to use their combined height to their advantage, Kolossus boosting Leshy up on her shoulders and Leshy reaching for the case YERB YETI SPEAR FROM THE TOP ROPE TAKES LESHY CLEAN OUT OF THE RING!! 

 

Kendra: She set her partner up for a Doomsday Device without realizing it, and she looks gobsmacked, taking her frustrations out on BJ and Nova! Plants them both into the mat with chokeslams and here comes Manta off the turnbuckle onto the back of Kolossus, trying to spring off her shoulders to grab the case! He's gonna need to jump higher than that though, and once again the pure bodily awareness to turn this potential disaster into a DDT bringing the giant down! 

 

Simon: You gotta think he's still feeling the impact of that landing though and he's struggling to his feet, Steve takes one of the ladders at puts it around the fallen kaiju, going up the ladder and Imogen on the other side now, both climbing on they're battling with fists one of em better make a move before Kolossus gets up, meanwhile Leshy and Yerb outside struggling to their feet and this is a lot of littered bodies, this match has been pure chaos so far and it doesn't look to be slowing down. Todd Zena places another ladder at the legs of Kolossus, they're really keeping her pinned down this way, climbing up the ladder but there's a bit of a gap between the top of the ladder and the case, Zena's gonna have to take a risk here to get himself closer OH NO DESEAN AND BOOM FROM EITHER END TOSSING THEIR BODIES INTO THE LADDERS AND EVERYONE COMES TUMBLING DOWN! AND THOSE LADDERS LAND ON KOLOSSUS! 

 

Kendra: Chanty with a tornado DDT to Perry Payne, Yarp with a scoop slam to Alessia onto those ladders, up to the top rope taking a huge risk and it PAYS OFF! Giant splash!! Yarp into Alessia into ladder into Kolossus! AND STEVE WITH A SHOOTING STAR ONTO THE PILE! He's calling over Manta, Manta to the top rope, and he takes a jumping stomp at Thunder, Thunder catches him and up we go towards the briefcase! 

 

Lenny: That's using your head OH NO Dion now on the top, winding up that pitch...JUMPING FASTBALL SPECIAL TAKES MANTA OFF THE CASE!

 

Simon: Everyone in that pile suffers Manta landing on them, Dion misses the pile but also the case and lands pretty hard, that was a hell of a play to stop Manta grabbing that. And Kolossus blasts up, and that pile explodes!!

 

Kendra: That looks like it took a ton of her energy though, and she's exhausted, Yerb runs her out of the ring with a clothesline. Derek trying to set up the ladder now, here comes Boom Harden from the other side, Leshy with a boot to the ladder sounds them both down. 

 

Lenny: Match Point get the ladder up, Todd taking the walk up and Miles protecting the ground floor... he takes Power Play out with a double clothesline! He wipes BJ and Nova out with a double arm drag! Leshy coming up behind him-

 

 

Kendra: Tennis star Eva Lys to the aid of Miles Max! Match Point could take this!! Match Point are in the clear!! No! Fabulous Firebirds are here, Miles and Eva just need to hold them off EVA HITS MILES WITH THE RACKET!! EVA STOMPING OUT MILES, GUINEVERE WITH A FLAMING KICK TO THE BACK OF TODD ZENA TAKES HIM OFF THE LADDER!! MORGAN GOES UP.... SHE HAS THE BRIEFCASE!!!

 

The Fabulous Firebirds win!

 

 

Ash: HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS... THE FABULOUS FIREBIRDS!!

 

Simon: Eva Lys, Tennis Star, seemed like she was here to secure the bag for her fellow Racketeers, but hands the win over to Zora Luthor International and the Fabulous Firebirds. What a travesty.

 

Kendra: And part of the reason for next match is to prevent such interference, as Sex Appeal are known to take the ZLI get-involved approach. 

 

 

Ash: The following contest is a Christmas Lights Barbed Wire Match!

 

 

Iris Correa steps out holding a spiral lollipop by her right eye.

 

 

Ash: First! From Denver, Colorado, representing Sex Appeal and Zora Luthor International, The Eye Candy, IRIS CORREA!

 

The crowd boos as she flounces her way down to the ring. 

 

Simon: Iris and Aiko have been at each others' throats for months now in various capacities, and they are hoping that this will put this all to bed for them one way or another.

 

Iris slides into the ring and sucks on her lollipop as she sarcastically waves at the crowd. 

 

 

The big screen cuts to backstage where Rina, Aiko's personal announcer is standing. Her infectious smile sparkles.

 

Rina: Introducing the beautiful and mighty fighter from Yamaguchi, Japan...

 

The Moonblade, AIKO!!!!!!!

 

 

The cute fashionista turns to her right where Aiko stands in traditional japanese attire, and a black paper umbrella.

 

 

"NEON BLADE" by MoonDeity hits, and Aiko now faces the camera. A cool aura and swagger emanating from her as she removes her designer glasses, and walks with zeal, and boldness towards the gorilla position and out through the entrance way stage area.

 

The crowd erupts into cheers of admiration, and they bounce along with Aiko as she struts to the rhythmic oriental beat. Aiko dressed in her signature black sports top with gold accent, and kimono inspired leggings. On the stage she jumps, and gives a quick kick downward, and a high kick once she lands. She gives a display of 3 more flash kicks, an elbow strike, then spins around, and goes onto one knee, giving a Kata prayer like pose. The screen behind her shows beautiful plumes from peach blossom trees, and open japanese umbrellas spinning. Aiko's name is displayed with kanji symbols, and a rising sun logo positioned behind it all. 

 

Kendra: No title in play for either of these two, just pure uncut hatred lit by multi-colored barbed wire.

 

As the crowd continue to cheer Aiko skips down the ramp then into a rhythmic strut playing to the crowd, and arms rolling with dance movements.

 

She stands at the bottom of the steps, and bows. Then quickly makes her way into the ring, and makes exaggerated poses and moves til her music stops.

 

The lights are turned on. The bell rings!

 

Kendra: These two rushing in and throwing punches at each other right from jump, Aiko takes the control with a spinning backfist! Judo flips Iris over and gets that Armbar in. She's looking to take her out of this quickly, Iris trying to get to her feet, flips herself up and armdrag to Aiko. Right into a spin kick. 

 

Lenny: Iris picks Aiko up right by the hair and she doesn't want to waste time, whips Aiko into those lights! That's electricity, broken glass, just a WHOLE lotta pain. And she's loading punches into the ribs of Aiko just making this so much worse. Aiko eats a boot, she really has to get off the ropes soon, Iris going for another boot and Aiko managing to catch her out, guillotines her on the rope!

 

Simon: Aiko taking a run back, dropkicks Iris into that rope, and pulls her back away going for a German Suplex and a pin-

 

 

Danny: ONE! T-

 

Simon: Iris kicks out, another armwhip to Aiko and trying to get the headlock in, looking to lock in a Crossface Chickenwing and Aiko struggling to her feet, ooooh Iris wrenches it further, you can see Rina cheering Aiko out at the apron and she has a title shot later on against whoever wins that US belt but for now she's here with her friend. 

 

Crowd starts chanting "Aiko! Aiko!"

 

Lenny: She may not have the BEST grasp of English but she sure knows her name, and between Rina and the crowd you can see her getting pumped up, a little bit of the Hulkster in her brother but minus the weird racism, and she is battling to her feet, elbow strike to the ribs of Iris, another one, and she whips Iris NO Iris reverses the whip, but Aiko able to slide under the ropes and miss the barbs, out to the apron and she is going to need to get back into this one and quickly before Sex Appeal gets themselves out here to make her day a living hell.

 

Kendra: Up to the turnbuckle, Aiko jumping down for a clothesline and Iris evades but Aiko able to roll to her feet, ducks Iris's superkick, Belly to Back but Iris lands on her feet, going for the bulldog and lands it. Keeps the headlock in and going for Aiko's eyes with a devastating double poke and she's pressing in, oooh Aiko took so long to recover from having to wear that eyepatch the last time Iris messed with her eyes and Aiko yelping in pain, she gets a hand free she's bending the fingers back and putting Iris in pain, she has a chance to free herself and she's gonna take it, takes Iris by the hair bun and charges her to the rope, tossing her over! 

 

Simon: That's smart playing and shes grinding Iris's face on those lights and spikes!! Holding Iris's head over the ropes, leg drop!! Dragging her through that middle rope, ooh that's gonna tear at the skin, and Orton DDT! Going for the cover-

 

Danny: ONE! T-

 

Lenny: Iris kicks! Iris kicks at the knees of Aiko and trying to take her off her feet, grabbing her ankle and pulling her down, getting that Achilles in and Aiko kicks her away, but Iris goes right back to the ankle and dragging her to the ropes, draping the ankle over the ropes and stomping down! Iris really wants to brutalize Aiko here! And again! This time she's standing on it though and really digging those barbs into Aiko's leg. 

 

Simon: Pulling her leg back down, kicking at the wounds! Does she want to win or want to injure? 

 

Kendra: Injuring her is one way to win. And pulling her leg over her head for a draping Achilles...but Aiko gets her other leg up and she's going for the tilt-a-whirl headscissors NO AIKO DROPS HER WITH A FACEBUSTER!! For the pin-

 

Danny: ONE! TWO!

 

Simon: Aiko kicks! And Rina tosses her a bottle of Vinegar, she splashes those wounds! Iris's whole body must feel like it's on fire, and she nails her with the Moonblade Kick!!!

 

Danny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Aiko wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner, the Moonblade, AIKO!

 

Lenny: She's limping out of here, but she's limping out of here a winner. 

 

Kendra: And we have our tag title match next!! As a reminder, the entire day is no disqualification.

 

 

Ash: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall-

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Ash: -and is for the MAWL Tag Titles!

 

 

As the thundering riffs of "Painkiller" by Judas Priest erupt through the speakers, the arena’s lights flicker rapidly between harsh whites and fiery reds, casting shadows that twist and distort like a storm approaching. A sense of impending doom fills the air as the crowd starts to murmur in anticipation.

 

Suddenly, The Prophet steps out onto the stage, his sharp suit glinting under the flashing lights, an ominous presence at the center of it all.

 

 

His dark eyes scan the arena, locking onto the crowd with a sense of power that draws all attention to him. With a slow, deliberate motion, he raises his arms, and the lights above flicker violently, plunging the arena into a momentary blackout. The crowd holds its breath.

 

Then, Doomsayer Pistol bursts from the shadows, sprinting to the ring with manic energy, his arms pumping and his eyes wide with excitement.

 

 

As he jumps over the top rope in a fluid, high-flying maneuver, his adrenaline-fueled aggression is apparent. The lights flash rapidly as he takes his position, ready for action.

 

Doomsayer Hammer follows with a slower, more deliberate pace, his towering presence dominating the stage.

 

 

Ash:
"Ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is about to be graced by the presence of one of the most fearsome and ominous teams to ever step into this ring…
With a combined weight of 510 pounds…
From Parks Unknown…
First, standing 6'0" tall, weighing 210 pounds, The High-Flyer of Fate, DOOMSEYER PISTOL!

"And his partner, standing 6'10" tall, weighing 300 pounds, The Titan of Tribulation, DOOMSEYER HAMMER!

"And with them, standing between them in a suit, the one who foretells their victory,
THE PROPHET!

"Together, they are…
**THE DOOMSAYERS!”

 

He steps over the top rope with a deep, resonant thud, his sheer power emanating from every movement. The lights focus on his massive frame, accentuating the intimidating aura that surrounds him. His eyes are locked on his opponents, and there’s no mistaking his dominance in the ring.

 

With The Prophet standing between them, his hand placed solemnly on their heads, the two Doomsayers kneel together as the lights snap back into an intense, flickering display of crimson and white, flashing in time with the song's relentless pace. The arena vibrates with the sheer force of the music and their presence. The Prophet smiles darkly, his eyes gleaming with malicious intent, fully aware of the chaos about to unfold.

 

The crowd roars, knowing that the end is near—no one is safe from the wrath of The Doomsayers.

 

 

 A burning X fills the Titan tron as Start The Shooting by A Day To Remember starts blasting. Dante steps out menacingly, like a bandit looking for trouble. Victoria skips out behind him smiling and full of energy.

 

 

The duo stops at the top of the ramp as the Titan tron starts displaying ‘Watch your step’ in burning letters as the chorus plays. As they  walk down the ramp in unison, pyro goes off on either side of the ramp with each step. After a few steps they stomp in unison, triggering the stage to fill with fire and have Red and silver sparks rain down above them.

 

Ash: AND! From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the tag team champions, Victoria Scythe and Dante Rivera, X-TREME SOCIETY!!

 

They walk down the ramp and to the ring, Dante jumping onto the apron and climbing through the ropes, Victoria running up the steps and climbs the turnbuckle posing and taunting. After she jumped down, the two stand in the center of the ring, Dante slowly removing his shades from his face. Their eyes fixed on the camera (or opponent). He tosses the shades to the side and the two stomps hard onto the mat together, setting off flames on all four corners of the ring and red sparks to rain down from above them.

 

The bell rings!

 

Kendra: Victoria and Pistol to start, Pistol throwing quick fists and whipping Victoria across the ropes, Victoria coming back around and ducks the clothesline, back around and DDT. Picks Pistol up and belly to belly, coming off the ropes, springboard into a moonsault and a quick cover-

 

 

Lisa: ONE! 

 

Simon: Pistol kicks, Pistol with an Irish Whip and pulls Victoria back for a short-arm lariat. Tag into Hammer, holding Victoria by the hair and Hammer boots her back. Victoria rolling quickly to her feet, going for a jumping DDT and Hammer back body drops! Hammer scoops up Victoria and going for a deadlift dominator, Victoria with a neckbreaker, rolls to a tag to Dante, Dante hits an enzuigiri on Hammer. Hammer to his feet but Dante ready for him and huracanrana. 

 

Lenny: Arabian Press ohhh but Hammer gets his knees up and Dante eats it! Hammer picks him up and a chokeslam! Hell's Grasp!! Going for a pin-

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO!

 

Lenny: Dante kicks up! Hammer picks Dante up by the neck, choking him out and tagging Pistol in, another Hell's Grasp chokeslam and Pistol flies in with a Frog Splash! 

 

Lisa: ONE! T-

 

Kendra: Dante kicks up, locks up Pistol with a series of knees, tag into Victoria, Dante holds Pistol in a headlock and Victoria in with a diving elbow to Pistol's spine! Pistol gets flattened and deadlift German Suplex, going for a pin-

 

Lisa: ONE! T-

 

Simon: Pistol up, Victoria with a tilt-a-whirl side slam, trying for another pin-

 

Lisa: ONE!

 

Simon: Pistol up again, throwing punches at the head of Victoria and reaching for the tag to Hammer, no! Victoria spins Pistol around for a knee strike to the head, going for the Queen Cutter and Pistol doesn't come down with her! Victoria hits the ground and Hammer reaching out for a tag, Victoria pulls Pistol back by the leg, getting an ankle lock in and really applying the pressure, Pistol kicks her away and tag into Hammer, Hammer blasts in with a shoulder tackle and Victoria rolled back, Dante tags himself back in coming for a running huracanrana OH but Hammer catches him out with a sitout powerbomb!!

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! TH-

 

Kendra: Dante barely able to kick! Hammer... well I can't tell if he's frustrated or just himself underneath that mask, but he is blasting Dante with those clubbing blows, bearhug! Dante flailing a bit, quite a bit, but he's pulling back at the gas mask and trying to get his hands on the nozzles, yanking back and he snaps the gas mask back on his face! That'll cause an issue! Hammer holding his face, Dante snapping back and Pistol boots him in the back, stopping the Spear! Hammer gets Dante up in the High Angle Powerbomb, oh I think we may be seeing the Judgment Day YES tag into Pistol, Pistol Springs in with a DDT!!! JUDGMENT DAY!!!

 

Lisa: 

ONE!

TWO!

TH-

 

Simon: VICTORIA BREAKS UP THE PIN!! DOUBLE PUNCHES BY X-TREME SOCIETY, DOUBLE SUPLEXES, THEY TAKE A DOUBLE RUN AND DOUBLE FROG SPLASH!! UP HAMMER WIPES BOTH OF THEM OUT WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE AND PISTOL ROLLS UP...VICTORIA?

 

Lenny: I don't think Pistol was aware of who he'd grabbed there, but Lisa calls him off, Dante hits Amboy Special on Hammer!! Pistol up, eats a Queen Cutter, bounces up not of his own volition and right into the arms of Dante, Amboy Special!!!

 

Lisa:
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!

 

X-Treme Society wins!!

 

 

Ash: Here are your winners, and STILL Tag Team Champions, Dante Rivera and Victoria Scythe, X-TREME SO--

 

 

Simon: FABULOUS FIREBIRDS ARE HERE AND THEY'RE CASHING IN! DOUBLE SUPERKICK!!! Double pin and oh, Victoria reverses the rollup on Morgan!

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

The crowd is at a murmur, Victoria and Guinevere both raise their hands in victory.

 

Kendra: But... who won?

 

Simon: I don't know. The refs are looking at the footage.

 

There are arguments between the referees. It's clear this is an issue.

 

Ash: After deliberation by the referees, the best they could determine is that both pins were too close together to declare a winner! We will need to resolve the tag team title at W2! 

 

The crowd boos.

 

Lenny: Everyone is rightly angry, but at the same time, I really can't fault the call. It was too close. They could just restart the fight, but I guess we're gonna move on, and hopefully get a little more closure.

 

 

Ash: The following triple threat is scheduled for one fall-

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Simon: And is for the Inferno Title!

 

 

Jamie struts out. 

 

 

And almost immediately-

 

 

Jassy comes out and starts smashing the hell out of Jamie, she drags her by her coat, and tosses her into the mini-tron. She tosses her off the stage and elbow drops her from the stage down.

 

 

Bianca Diaz struts her way down the ramp, a combination of sexy confidence and total aggression.

 

 

Ash: Representing Zora Luthor International and Sex Appeal, The BD Energy, BIANCA DIAZ!

 

The crowd boos as Bianca brushes her shoulders off and Melina-splits into the ring. 

 

Kendra: Honestly, the more I watch Bianca, the more I understand her.

 

The arena turns Dark as sinister laughter is heard before a old radio begins to play through static You either Die a Hero… or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

 

A long Piano, key note solo is heard before the base of the song begins to play.

 

 

Physio Joker steps out holding the belt above his head.

 

 

Ash: And the Champion! From the Tomb of the Great Pharaohs, Egypt, weighing in at 215 pounds, The Heartless One, PHYSIO JOKER!!

 

The crowd is very mixed, but Physio walks down the ramp like he is naturally to be worshipped. 

 

Simon: Physio carries himself like he is the incarnation of Tut himself. 

 

Physio walks up the steps, and stares Bianca down as they square up. They come face to face.

 

The bell rings!

 

Kendra: And this was supposed to be a triple threat, but Jamie was taken out of the equation by Jassy so now it's down to two, Physio and Bianca with a lock-up, Physio throws bows at the head of Bianca, pulls her in and a Ripcord Lariat! And he keeps the arm locked up and twists her into a bar, putting pressure onto her left arm and her knee, she's trying to fight out and to her feet, he keeps her locked in and flips her over! Judo flip and keeps that pressure on further! She flips to her feet, spins around and eye poke to Physio, spins him around for a Black Hole Slam!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! T-

 

Lenny: Physio kicks, takes Bianca down with a leg trip and pushing an Achilles Lock on her, pulling her to the center and she's fighting to pull herself to the ropes, no DQ means no rope break but it'll give her leverage, gets her other leg up and headscissors takedown and neck snap! She takes a run, and comes back for a sliding dropkick! 

 

Simon: Sitting on the back of Physio, and going for the Camel Clutch, holding his mouth open for the No Comment! Physio trying to fight to his feet, Bianca wrenching and Physio holding away any pain expression but you can see it shining through, he gets to his feet and charges her to the turnbuckle, slams her in, and spins her around! Elbow, ELBOW, ELBOW, ELBOW, and here comes the kick, ohhh she ducks it and low blow!

 

Kendra: Right in the nutenkhaman! 

 

Lenny: Running back and back in with a corkscrew axe kick! Going for the cover-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! T-

 

Simon: Physio kicks!! Bianca arguing with the ref, pay attention Bianca! Physio back up, he's gonna try this again and ONE ELBOW! TWO ELBOW! THREE ELBOW! FOUR! COMING BACK FOR THE KICK-

 

Kendra: AND HERE COMES THE WHORE!! JAMIE IS BACK WITH A CHAIR AND SHE LAYS PHYSIO JOKER OUT!!! BIANCA TURNS AROUND AND EATS THE CHAIR TOO!!! LUSTRESS JAMIE WITH THE PIN-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO!

 

Lenny: JASSY BREAKS IT UP! JAMIE COULD HAVE CAPTURED THE BELT AND BIANCA FROM BEHIND HER PULLS HER HEAD BACK AND BDE!!! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Bianca Diaz wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Ash: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND THE NEW INFERNO CHAMPION, BIIIIIIIANCA DIAZ!!!

 

Simon: Sex Appeal with the Steal!

 

Kendra: No Disqualification day! All of this was perfectly above board. 

 

Bianca: Today should prove to you all one very important lesson. You can't beat Sex Appeal. That's something that the dumber sister just learned. That's something that the Deck of Sharts learned earlier. That's something-

 

Lenny: Wait, did Bianca just say the quiet part out loud?

 

Bianca "opes" realizing that she indeed did.

 

Kendra: They could EASILY have gotten away with framing Diana Dresden and having that team fall apart from the inside, but she got a little too cocky and a lot too proud of herself-

 

 

Colin comes out TSK TSK TSKing.

 

Colin: You should NOOOT have done that.

 

He takes off his blazer to reveal a referee shirt.

 

Kendra: Oh he just has it OUT for her.

 

Colin: SM, you get a freebie.

 

Lenny: WHAT?

 

Kendra: SM HEARTBREAKER IS LINED UP... BIANCA YOU BETTER RUN GIRL... INSTRUMENT OF DESTRUCTION!!!

 

 

Colin: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

SM Heartbreaker wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Colin: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND THE NEW NEW INFERNO CHAMPION, S! M! HEARTBREAKER!!!

 

Simon: Revenge scored!!! SM Heartbreaker has shut Sex Appeal right up, and it looks like this is far, FAR from over!

 

Lenny: I don't know how she could reasonably say this is a good day for Sex Appeal. Iris got torn up by Aiko. Jassy ate it from Jamie and the best she could say is she kept the title from her sis, but her attempt to give it to her bestie lasted all of two seconds before being swiped from her. And Daria was the second eliminated in the Advent Battle Royal. The best two things they'd done so far, framing Diana Dresden and winning the Eurasian Belt, were blown up in a matter of moments.

 

Kendra: They're gonna need to recuperate for sure. This is a good time as any to go to our final commercial break.

 

 

Announcer: This has been a hell of a year, and one DVD collection is not NEARLY enough to cover it all. So relive this most amazing year in two parts with the Best of 2025 Half 1 and the Best of 2025 Half 2! Everything from the iconic W2 that set this whole thing in motion to Kid Kross's landmark win at Spring Sting, the Brand Split that shook the world and the attempts to recombine the world after. Relive insane Rivalries!

 

 

Announcer: Relive JP Spears vs Sarah Spears, Balor's capturing and changing of the Mania Title, the Four Pillars, Manta's unintentional title win, Brian Storm versus Nero, SM vs Schmetterling, and more moments than you can shake a stick or flamethrower at. Get one set for $29.99 or both for $55.

 

Order today!

 

 

A camera crew rushes into the Sex Appeal Locker Room, with medics close behind, where Bianca, Iris, and Daria are all laid out, with their jackets draped over their top halves almost like funeral shrouds. 

 

 

Jassy rushes into the room behind her and checks desperately on her chicas, before angrily hitting the locker.

 

 

Heloisa: I'm here with Schmetterling coming off a huge win in his match against Rufus. 

 

Schmetterling: Hallo, liebe Heloisa. 

 

Heloisa: It must be pretty exciting to get a win against Rufus in your home country, especially after the year that you have been having.

 

Schmetterling: Year has been up and down, ja this is true, and to end it with a win in first arena that I have ever wrestled in is... I think you say full circle, ja?

 

Heloisa: Ja.

 

Schmetterling: So for me is very exciting. I did not need to be main event, I did not need to leave champion, just to have a win in the same arena of which I started is amazing. 

 

Heloisa: Did you know Nero was going to help you out as he did? There are some who are saying this was fixed from the start.

 

Schmetterling: Heloisa, I learn better than to take in too much this noise that the people make. I was as surprised as you to see Nero even though he is a fitting man for the Krampus. I know is likely he was there less to help me and more to punish Rufus for his betrayal, but I was still happy to see him and to have help. Nero, I know you are now in the doing things yourself time of your career but if you ever need a tag team partner, I am here to pay back this kindness you have done me. 

 

Heloisa: So what comes next? 

 

Schmetterling: Next I stay here in Deutschland for the month and get to celebrate the Christmas with my little one nieces and nephews. Is very nice to have the break and train and prepare for W2 next year. I want to be first man to win back to back W2. From there, back to championship gold. I would like ja to be in this Spring Fling this year so I will also declare now for that! 

 

Heloisa: So 2026 is looking to be a big year for-

 

Both: SCHMETTERLIIIIIIING!

 

Schmetterling walks off.

 

Heloisa: I've always wanted to do that.

 

Down the hall, Colin is looking fretful on his phone-

 

 

- looking through his contacts when he passes a well-known face that stops him did in his tracks. A crowd rumble starts to go.

 

Colin: No... you're...

 

 

Skye Blue: Skye Blue, yes!

 

Colin: Big fan of your work.

 

Skye Blue: THANK YOU! You are too sweet. Fan of yours too, now, I was told to check you guys out and it's a hell of a show.

 

Colin: Thanks. I'm just hoping to keep it that way.

 

Skye: Something off? 

 

Colin: Ah, I don't want to impose, you're here to watch a show.

 

Skye: Dude, I asked.

 

Colin: Okay, well, both the contender and the backup for our main event today were taken out in locker room decimations, and now I'm trying to scoop together a last minute title match. 

 

Skye: OH! I... I actually have my gear if...

 

The crowd starts to rile up in the background.

 

Colin: I mean... are you sure? That's a big ask, for you to take time off your day as a competitor-

 

Skye: I am always ready for a fight to break out.

 

The crowd roar gets louder and rowdier.

 

Colin: Awesome! I'll pay you the going rate plus your ticket value. 

 

Skye: That's really cool of you. I'll go get ready.

 

Colin: You want me to show you where the- oh you've probably wrestled in this venue before. Thank you. Thank you so much. I know the surprise is really gonna get this crowd going.

 

Skye: happily I live to serve. In fact, let's go big, and do a three stages of hell! I'm feelin' pretty jazzed. 

 

Colin breathes a huge sigh of relief. The crowd in the background can be heard at fever pitch. Skye waits until he is far out of sight. She reaches into her bag, and you can see the hair tie come off and the shoulder of a leather jacket...

 

 

The crowd cheer turns into a collective gasp in seeing the jacket. She lets out an evil chuckle as she winks at the camera. One crowd member can be heard going "What The F-" at which point we cut right back to the-

 

 

Kendra: And this crowd was all excited about Skye Blue... until she revealed her running crew. Pretty fairweather if you ask me.

 

Lenny: I dunno, I think it almost feels, and I think these fans would agree, that this gives a feeling that this was planned from jump. 

 

Simon: Well either way, Diana Dresden is now gonna have to contend with a modern scion of the indie scene. 

 

Kendra: And that's gonna be our main event, in the interim-

 

The arena is alive—lights sweeping over a roaring crowd, camera flashes popping like static in the dark. The noise builds, restless, electric.

The camera pulls back… then slowly pans toward the top of the ramp, settling on the massive screen looming above the stage.

The arena lights cut to black.

A low hush falls.

“Nice Guy” by TX2 hits.

 

 

The stage screen stays black.

Then, one by one, the words begin to bleed onto the screen in a deep, violent red, sharp and unmistakable.

Who looks at me and thinks I'm stable?

The crowd murmurs.

I'm as tall as I'm faithful

A faint radio static crackles through the speakers.

I flip freaks in rotation like a spatula

The red text glitches, flickering like a broken broadcast.

Too many hoes in my castle, call me Dracula

Uneasy laughter ripples through the arena.

Goddamn, gonna need some sage

The screen pulses.

'Cause I'm Santana with my evil ways

A distorted laugh echoes beneath the music.

And I'm in a band, we're literally the worst to date

The camera cuts to the crowd—confused, captivated.

That's why they say that

A brief pause.

Once you're mine

The red text grows larger.

I'll ruin your life, just give it time

The bass hits harder.

And I don't wanna, but I'll make you cry

The static intensifies.

Out of your eyes, you'll wish you died

The screen trembles.

But I swear, I swear I'm a nice guy

A warped smile flashes for a split second—too quick to be sure.

(He's a really, really, really) nice guy

Boos, cheers, nervous laughter.

(He's a really, really, really)

The music cuts out.

The stage screen goes completely black.

One final phrase slams onto the screen at the top of the ramp in the same blood-red font.

TRUST US

Silence.

 

Lenny: quietly Oh. Oh I don't like that. That's bringing back memories that I can't put my finger-

 

He is cut off, when a hooded individual is causing a commotion behind them. It seems a person made their way through the crowd, and jumps the barrier right next to the announcers table. A mic is snatched.

 

 

Nero: "Yeah... it's me..."

 

He pauses for a second.

 

Nero: "And I know what all of you are thinking. Yes, I really did it. It felt good too. But everyone wants to know why. Why Nero, why. Why did I do it. And, if you don't know what I'm talking about, then allow me to replay, the most viewed segment over the past week on the internet!"

 

Highlights of SM Heartbreaker and Nero's Iron Man Match play on the titantron, as the crowd turn to watch. All the exciting parts play, then video clips of internet influencers shocked, and tweets of them and other wrestlers displayed on screen. All shocked!

 

"Oh that * * * * was meowing gross! But I couldn't turn a way. <3"
"I did not see that coming! 6/5"
"A man shoving his... nah that was not on my 2026 Bingo Card."
"This might have been the greatest match I have ever seen."
"The rollercoaster ride. Going from horror, action, and then dark comedy. Why though!?"
"I was genuinely excited. My heart was racing, and I posted a congratz tweet. Then I deleted it. NOOOOOOOOO WHY?!!! ;'("
"SM vs Nero. Fire! 100% every damn time!"
"I was there. Two words, HOLY SHIT!"
"Oh nah. Hell no."
"Who was that?"
"Whoa, could it be?"
":O"

 

The chase, the roadblocks, the cameos, the ending, and the reactions play over and over, with the music building to a crescendo.
And then the final ending of the show plays. The helicopter over the Mozambique Channel, the title dropped in slow motion.

 

The crowd starts to cheer.

 

CROWD: "NERO! NERO!"

 

Nero: "..."

 

Nero claps. His hand hitting the microphone. Then he puts the microphone down on the announcers desk, and walks back towards the barrier, before jumping over it. Turning back towards the camera, and throwing his arms up. Fans surround him, as they pose. A limo rolls up, getting Nero's attention.

 

 

T.M. Ichiban opens the door and out come the Maki Birds.

 

 

The Maki birds come out singing Maki's theme "Brooklyn the Hole" and the door opens once more, with Maki carrying out cocktail in hand.

 

Nero rolls his eyes at the scene. 

 

 

Maki dances a bit as she heads towards the ring. 

 

 

Ash: The following contest is a Ladder Match and it is for the Draconic Title!! First the challenger, from the Tree of Woe, weighing in at 300 pounds.... NERO!

 

The crowd gives a hearty cheer as Nero responds with a nod.

 

Ash: And the champion!! Ogōri, Fukoka, Japan, she is the Cutest and Baddest in the World, MAKI!!

 

The crowd boos as Maki loads up her brass knuckles. The bell rings!

 

Kendra: For a while Maki was known as the One-Punch Champ, as a single shot from those knucks was a good night kiss, but more and more she's been trying to have TM Ichiban fight her battles for her, and I'm not convinced that she's not going into this with some ring rust. 

 

Simon: To your point, Nero catches the knuckle punch with a single hand and GLASGOW KISS! Sends Maki tumbling back, and Nero gets some early momentum. 

 

Lenny: The crowd seems to be behind him despite him tossing the Asylum Title into the strait last week. 

 

Simon: They may also feel there are too many titles in this federation.

 

Lenny: I don't disagree but they could have easily tossed like the Dead Air or Crimson Rite belt into the water with little fanfare, the Asylum was a highly sought after property and SNAP SUPLEX by Nero keeping the pressure on Maki as he continues to set the pace here. 

 

Kendra: Don't let Shawn Harris hear you talk of the Crimson Rite belt that way. 

 

Lenny: I'm not afraid of Shawn Harris, I'll easily fight him for the Crimson Rite belt and send that one swimming too OH brutal arm drag by Nero and Maki may need to rely on outside forces here to get any sort of offense on Nero.

 

Simon: Hip Toss into the Turnbuckle, we have an early Anathema Throw on Maki, now draping her legs over for the Tree of Woe, Nero taking a run back and that may be the time Maki needed, folds herself up and Nero's dropkick meets the post, Maki with a moonsault from the top. Maki gets those knucks out and laying into Nero's face with some mounted shiny punches. 

 

Kendra: Nero's face is bein' made into scrapple! 

 

Simon: Nero trying to catch the fist but Maki's fists are too fast, oh he goes for a Monkey Flip instead to get her off and shakes off that steel rain. Nero with the charge and big high knee to Maki tumbles her backwards. Nero to the middle rope and an elbow drop. 

 

Kendra: Not a lot of people would expect this, but Nero is surprisingly fast and agile for a man of his size, and he picks Maki up with a claw by her face and just slams her right back into the mat. 

 

Lenny: He's also gonna have his hands full tryin' to get to a ladder as the Birds are out almost in Lumberjack position along the outside. 

 

Simon: It's never stopped him before, as he lifts both of them up on this side up, one hand apiece and just flattens them with that Psycho Press! Going under the apron to get a ladder, oh but here comes TM Ichiban with his staff Nero easily dispatches of him with a judo arm flip and gets a ladder out. Maki with a suicide dive drives that ladder right into Nero!

 

Lenny: Maki trying to pull the ladder from Nero, but he's got a hell of a grip on it and a quick swing sends her into the barricade, sandwiches her with the ladder! This may be a quick and easy path from here for Nero, which is kinda relievin', not a lotta things quick and easy for this dude. 

 

Kendra: Nero sliding the ladder into the ring OH but another Bird gets him from behind with a low blow aaand she eats an elbow for her trouble. Nero feelin' it though, and movin' just a tad bit slower which is all Maki needs to get back to her feet, chair in hand and drives it into the back of Nero! 

 

Simon: It's almost like a fly landing on him, barely stuns him and just made him angry, Nero turns around and PUNCHES the chair right into Maki's face!! Oh but TM back up and smashes the cane into his rib! 

 

Lenny: Nero stares him down, oh I think TM is realizing he made a big mistake, Nero yanks the mask off his face!! He bends it and jabs TM in the eyes with his own mask!!! Beautiful justice is beautiful!!! 

 

Simon: This is the Nero I remember, a machine of brutality with the fear firewalled, 300 pounds of devastation in a kilt. Nero takes a quick spin and able to catch one of the Birds with a lariat! Gets another Bird with a discus elbow! Two more Birds at him and smashes their heads together! NEROLYZER TO TM! You can see he's relishing the destruction. He even may have actually cracked a tiny sliver of a smile.

 

Kendra: But he's gonna have to keep his eyes on the ring to make sure that Maki isn't sneaking to the ring, and yep she's got that ladder in the ring, and she is starting to make that climb, Nero breaks free from the crowd and a running boot takes the ladder down, and Maki with it! 

 

Simon: Maki struggling to her feet, Nero takes the ladder and jams it into her ribs! I don't know the last time I've seen her this vulnerable, and her Itohrage has been largely useless in shutting him down.

 

Lenny: Not for lack of trying though, two Birds in the ring with kendo sticks and they crack them on Nero's back, he just single arm tosses them! 

 

Kendra: I'm gonna pose a theory, they're not trying to hurt him, just distract him enough for Maki to get back on her feet. And in that way they're largely successful. Maki gets herself into the corner and up, she's loading herself up, and going for a superkick, and she blasts him with it, Nero staggers back and from the outside TM grabs his feet, down he comes and Maki up to the top, she's going for Big Head! 

 

Simon: OH and a solid landing! She's looking to the outside now, oh the Birds are gonna go full Gulliver's Travels now and try to tie Nero down, Maki back to her feet, and she's got the ladder up. Here she goes and she's climbing, NERO YANKS ON THE ROPES AND SLAMS THE BIRDS INTO THE APRON! TO HIS FEET AND HE'S TRYING TO GET UP THE LADDER! CAN HE BEAT MAKI?

 

Lenny: I don't think that's his goal! He grabs for Maki... and he's about to take her on a

RIDE TO THE VALLEY OF THE BONES!!!

 

Simon: MAKI SPILLS TO THE OUTSIDE AND NERO RUNS BACK UP THAT LADDER!! I THINK HE MIGHT... HE DOES IT!! WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!!!

 

Nero unhooks the title and wins!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner, and the NEW Draconic Champion, The Warrior of Woe, NEEEEERO!

 

Kendra: I just hope the Draconic Title makes it to the new year! 

 

Simon: Well, only time will tell I guess, but for now we got a match that's no title all torment, a What Four Match.

 

Lenny: Yep! Even with the Legacy Champion Superstar Davy Boy in the match, it's a non-title affair. Superstar Davy Boy will next defend that belt against Elijah and Gozu at W2, which I... I would rather not be a champ than have to face that combination. 

 

 

Ash: The following contest is a What Four Match! 

 

 

Superstar Davy Boy comes out raising the title over his head Cena-style. 

 

 

Ash: FIRST! From Los Angeles, California, weighing in at 235 pounds, the Legacy Champion, SUPERSTAR DAVY BOY!

 

Davy Boy shoulders the title, and begins strutting down the ramp.

 

Lenny: Davy Boy lost control of La Sangre Maldita back to Sombras at Thankless last week, but by the pep in his step you'd never know it. He still comes off the cock of the walk.

 

Kendra: He's also very much size-wise an underdog in this battle, but that's never stopped him before. 

 

Davy Boy steps onto the apron and raises the belt over his head before stepping in and removing his sunglasses. 

 

 

A black car rolls up to the stage. A muscular well-dressed man steps confidently out of the backseat and throws his cigar, setting off fire pyro. 

 

 

Ash: Representing the Anti-System! From Roma, Italy, weighing in at 365 pounds, the Papa, Tino Sabatelli! 

 

Kendra: Tino has 130 pounds on Superstar Davy Boy, not to mention almost a foot of height. Watching him step out of the limo is like watching a very serious waving arm waving tube man inflate in real time. 

 

Simon: That is certainly one way to put it. Not sure how Tino would respond to that. 

 

Tino straightens his jacket and cufflinks as he walks down the ramp. He receives a mixed reaction but is unbothered by it. Upon stepping in the ring, he folds his jacket neatly and places it in the corner before stepping over the rope. 

 

https://suno.com/s/3DBwTKXoD9xTSAsv

 

The arena lights dim, plunging the crowd into shadow. A low rumble of thunder echoes through the speakers, vibrating the ground beneath the fans. Suddenly—a blinding flash of lightning cracks across the stage, followed by a roar of thunder that shakes the rafters. The titan appears. Stonefist emerges from a curtain of smoke, cloaked in Greco-Roman regalia, his golden eyes glowing under the flicker of strobe lights.

 

 

Ash: From the Peaks of Olympus, weighing in at 380 pounds, STONEFIST!

 

Each step he takes down the ramp lands like a war drum, synced with booming thunderclaps over the sound system. The crowd erupts into chants of “STONE-FIST! STONE-FIST!” as the storm builds around him. Halfway down the ramp, he raises both fists to the sky. At once, pyro erupts like lightning bolts, streaking from the stage to the ceiling as the arena lights flash white. The sound system blasts a final thunderclap as if the gods themselves answered his call. He ascends the steps to the ring with the slow, commanding pace of a deity, slamming his fist into the mat as he enters. The ring shudders under the blow, the crowd roaring as if Olympus itself trembled. He rises, arms stretched wide, basking in the storm he commands.

 

Simon: The storm has arrived… and tonight, Olympus walks among us!

 

Lenny: We have two absolute giants inside this ring. Superstar Davy Boy's intimidation stare is gonna hit like a Care Bear Stare here. 

 

 

Lightning strikes a desert plain on the screen as silhouettes of kangaroos, emus, and a howling dingo flash across. The visuals switch to Dusty walking alone through the red dust until he arrives at the ring ramp.

 

 

Pyro explodes like a bushfire along the ramp sides.

 

Ash: AND! From The Outback, weighing in at 253 pounds, the Outback Outlaw, Dusty McGraw! 

 

Kendra: It truly is a tale of two halves here, the scrappy little ones and the stoically destructive giants.

 

Dusty McGraw rolls into the ring, throws his vest and hat off and begins to approach. The bell rings! 

 

Lenny: Dusty wasting absolutely no time, rushing Tino and laying fists into his ribs, as Superstar takes a running shoulder block to Stonefist! Stonefist with a hammer blow drives Superstar right into the mat, but Superstar pops right back up. 

 

Simon: There are a lot of size discrepancies that you think "oh this is going to be a squash" but Superstar Davy Boy and Dusty McGraw carry themselves like they can stare these giants right in the eyes. Tino with a world-wrecking elbow to the spine of Dusty, picking him up by the scruff of his neck now and just TOSSES him like it's nothing. Grabbing Dusty by the feet, lifting him up and Alabama Slam! But man not staying down! 

 

Kendra: Dusty rushing in again with a boxing combo on Tino and the two are going full WBC on each other! Stonefist trying for another hammer blow but Davy rolls and hooks the leg OH DAMN A DRAGON LEG SCREW! YOU HEAR THE MAT RUMBLE AS THE BIG MAN GOES DOWN! 

 

Lenny: Davy Boy doesn't want to wait for the count to start yet, he goes up to the top rope, and I think he's gonna try for that LA Pop Elbow Drop!! Down he comes and STONEFIST CATCHES HIM! STONEFIST BENCH PRESSING SUPERSTAR DAVY BOY AND LAUNCHES HIM! 

 

Simon: Davy Boy lands into a roll and back to his feet. This is where this match type is gonna be favorable to him, Davy Boy's body may well be made of springs. He doesn't stay down. Rolling out of the ring, searching for a weapon, meanwhile Tino has Dusty in the corner and he's just laying into him!

 

Crowd: ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! T-

 

Lenny: Dusty catches the tenth punch! And short-arm lariat! He pushes Tino back just enough that he can get a lower point of gravity and a Spinebuster!! 

 

Kendra: Dusty could just let him struggle to get up, but he's goin' for some mounted punches and takes a headbutt as a result! This is the downfall of all these men, they don't wanna just leave well enough alone. Tino to his feet, getting Dusty up into an Electric Chair and Electric Chair Drop! Dusty looks positively brutalized, but he's getting back up to his feet TINO BOOTS HIM BACK DOWN. 

 

Simon: Davy Boy has a kendo stick and right to the ribs of Stonefist. Stonefist looks irritated at the mark left more than hurt, and drives Davy Boy right back with a headbutt. Davy staggers back but holds onto the Kendo, uses the extra space to swing even harder and THAT'S gonna shatter the stick! Now Stonefist looking a bit hurt, Davy laying hooks into the bruise, he's actually got Stonefist doubled over, coming off the ropes, Axe Kick! 

 

 

Danny: ONE! TWO!

 

Lenny: Stonefist up, Davy taking a run and he's looking to get a big boot going, STONEFIST GETS HIM BY THE THROAT AND ONE HANDED CHOKESLAM! TOOK HIM RIGHT TO MOUNT OLYMPUS! 

 

Danny: ONE! TWO!

 

Kendra: That'll slow Superstar down as Tino just continues to lay waste to Dusty McGraw with haymakers. 

 

Danny: THREE! FOUR!

 

Simon: Davy looks like he's debating on whether to get up or not.

 

Danny: FIVE! 

 

Lenny: Davy starting to his feet! He's not out of this one yet! Stonefist goes for a Clubbing Blow, Davy rolls out of the way, OHHH MY GOD HE LIFTS HIM UP AND RATTLES HIM WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX! DAMN!!!

 

Kendra: He's sweating. That took it out of him. 

 

Danny: ONE! TWO!

 

Simon: A bigger body doesn't move as fast, could this be a bad time for Stone?

 

Danny: THREE! FOUR! 

 

Lenny: No, I don't think so... Stonefist starting to move.

 

Danny: FIVE! S-

 

Kendra: He's up. Davy Boy shrugs and rushes him with a shoulder tackle NO Stonefist catches him out, going for a Dominator, NO! DAVY ROLLS BEHIND HIM AND NECKBREAKER! Going up again, Tino with an earthshattering Burning Hammer to Dusty shakes the ring and Davy Boy loses his footing! 

 

Danny: ONE! TWO!

 

Simon: Dusty McGraw is looking absolutely broken.

 

Danny: THREE! FOUR!

 

Lenny: Could be our first elimination. Davy resets his footing and LA Pop to Dusty!! Why did he break up the count?!

 

Simon: He's helping Dusty to his feet, oh maybe he's looking to double team with Dusty on one of the big men NO WEST COAST STUNNER!!! 

 

Danny: ONE! TWO!

 

Kendra: He just wanted the kill. 

 

Danny: THREE! FOUR!

 

Lenny: Gets him another notch in his power ranking I guess.

 

Danny: FIVE! SIX!

 

Simon: Tino none too happy about it though, and he's going for the Burning Hammer, NO Davy Boy rolls back and pushes Tino into the turnbuckle! 

 

Danny: SEVEN! EIGHT!

 

Kendra: Going for another West Coast Stunner NO TINO PUSHES HIM OFF AND SCOTTISH SICKLE TO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD! 

 

Danny: NINE! 

 

Lenny: Did Superstar snipe the kill?

 

Danny: TEN!

 

Dusty McGraw is eliminated by Superstar Davy Boy!

 

Simon: Davy is on Tino's shit list now. That's for damn sure. And Tino stomping Davy out, OH but here comes Stonefist and running elbow to Tino! The giants are fighting!! 

 

Kendra: Davy Boy gets a little reprieve, as Stone and Tino are just rocking each other with haymakers! Tino with the Irish Whip to Stonefist, taking a run in the other direction.... SPEAR COLLISION!!! THEY RUN RIGHT INTO EACH OTHER!!! 

 

Danny: ONE! TWO!

 

Lenny: There is a world in which Superstar Davy Boy just won this match without throwing the final blow!

 

Danny: THREE! FOUR!

 

Simon: Davy Boy gets a chair, just in case. 

 

Danny: FIVE! SIX!

 

Kendra: Davy Boy to the top of the buckle.

 

Danny: SEVEN! EIGHT!

 

Lenny: STONEFIST IS UP! 

 

Danny: NINE!

 

Kendra: TINO IS UP! Stonefist coming to, Superstar with a leaping chair shot STONEFIST WITH THE OLYMPIC BREAKER PUNCH DRIVES THAT CHAIR RIGHT INTO SUPERSTAR!!! SUPERSTAR TUMBLED OUT OF THE RING!!!! TINO SPINS STONEFIST AROUND! BURNING HAMMER!! 

 

Danny: ONE! TWO!

 

Lenny: Been a high impact match from the bell but I get the sense it's wrapping. 

 

Danny: THREE! FOUR!

 

Simon: Tino is grabbing his jacket, I think he sees the writing on the wall.

 

Danny: FIVE! SIX!

 

Kendra: Four seconds to make a change, fellas.

 

Danny: SEVEN! EIGHT! 

 

Lenny: Look at him spiffing up.

 

Danny: NINE! TEN!

 

Stonefist is eliminated by Tino Sabatelli!

 

Kendra: And that's the ballgame!

 

Simon: No, they only announced Stonefist but where is SUPERSTAR DAVY BOY NAILS THE LEAPING CHAIR SHOT ON TINO! PUTTING HIS HEAD UNDER THE CHAIR AND HE'S GOING UP, LOOKING TO THE END THIS WITH AN LA POP... AIRBALLED AGAIN!!! SUPERSTAR LANDS ON THE CHAIR!!! TINO GETS HIM UP, IRISH WHIP, CATCHES HIM INTO THE SAMOAN HOLD AND WE COULD GET ANOTHER BURNING HAMMER SUPERSTAR SLIDES OFF!!! WEST COAST STUNNER!!!!

 

Danny: ONE! TWO!

 

Lenny: There's a reason this dude is Legacy Champ, he knows how to outlast em all!

 

Danny: THREE! FOUR!

 

Kendra: Unbelievable!!! 

 

Danny: FIVE! SIX!

 

Simon: This would be insane momentum for Davy Boy to go into W2 with, where he'll need to defend that belt! 

 

Danny: SEVEN! EIGHT! 

 

Lenny: Now THAT'S the Ball Game!

 

Danny: NINE! TEN!

 

Tino Sabatelli is eliminated by Superstar Davy Boy! Superstar Davy Boy wins!

 

 

Ash: Here is your WINNER, SUPERSTAR! DAVY! BOY!!

 

Davy Boy holds up the title when the lights go out and-

 

 

Simon: GOZU'S BEHIND HIM!!! DEVIL'S DESCENT!!! 

 

Gozu holds the Legacy Belt when-

 

"Let me telllll you a story!"

 

The crowd cheers as Elijah steps onto the stage. 

 

 

The crowd pops as Elijah holds a microphone up to his face with a smile and his title on his shoulder. He motions to silence the crowd so he can speak, but before he can get a word out-

 

 

Robertos Michael hits Elijah in the back of the head with a clothesline!!

 

Lenny: Well, this match was supposed to happen later but I guess we're getting it now.

 

Simon: There's supposed to be an order to these things!!

 

 

Ash: The following contest is for the Infernal Crown Title, and it is a Papa Boi's Den Match! The only way to win is to put your opponent through a table two consecutive times!

First, the challenger, from Bucharest, Romania, weighing 251 pounds, Devilishly Great, ROBERTOS MICHAEL! 

And the champion, from Trinidad and Tobago, weighing 248 pounds, the Cryptic One, ELIJAH!

 

The two continue to pound on each other, and the Bell rings!

 

Lenny: Robertos Michael's first big title shot, and he wants to get the upper hand early. Fisherman DDT to Elijah on the stage, just driving his head into the steel. Robertos' comfort is more in submission matches and fights where you can weaken your opponents and tear them apart, but he can be brutal when he needs to. Reverse Suplex to Elijah and picking him up for the German - no! Elijah lands on his feet and pulls him down in a Zig Zag! 

 

Kendra: Scooping Michael up and a body slam onto the apron. Picking him up again, Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker. Michael up quickly, spins Elijah around a half-nelson, which he makes a suplex! We haven't even left the front of the arena yet, and these two are already brutalizing each other! Elijah to his feet, huracanrana!!! He comes off the stage, pulling Robertos to the edge and a form of draping DDT!

 

Simon: I don't think Gozu or Superstar Davy Boy have even left the ring yet, which spells bad news for Elijah. Elijah keeping things on the front of the arena for his own safety, but the question is how will either man get to a table where they're at. Robertos up quickly again, tosses Elijah with a belly to belly, Elijah lands hard but up quickly and returns the favor.

 

Lenny: This is one way to move each other closer to the ring, and Gozu and Superstar Davy Boy are finally deciding to leave in opposite directions, so the peril has reduced a little bit... at least from outside sources, the peril from each other is still very much in play, and Robertos with a low blow to Elijah!! Brutal! Pulls him into a Piledriver. 

 

Kendra: Robertos making the most grievous of errors here, dragging Elijah by his locks to ringside and running his head into the steps. You don't grab the hair, Robby. Michael looking for a table under the ring, Elijah with enough time to get up, and he's gonna make Robertos pay! Crick Crack Monkey Break Your Back!! Elijah takes him up, and drops him back down with a military press. 

 

Simon: Elijah setting up that table over the steps, Robertos up a little too quickly to make anything happen, Robertos lifting Elijah up and trying to get the spinebuster but Elijah with a double axe handle. Elijah throwing bows, hooks the arm and Fisherman Suplex! Elijah up onto the apron and a solid diving headbutt! 

 

Lenny: Elijah rolls and Robertos Michael will just not stay down! Brutal punches to the ribcage of Elijah, scooping Elijah up onto the table, and Robertos Michael going up to the turnbuckle! This is certainly one way to do it, but I wasn't expecting it...oh wait-

 

The lights go out -

 

 

Simon: Aztec smashes Robertos Michael in the back of the head with his briefcase! Robertos Michael is stunned and this gives Elijah a chance to get up, superplex onto the table!!! 

 

Elijah gets one elimination!

 

Ash: Elijah has elimination number one!

 

Kendra: They both meet the stairs and that impact is gonna leave both of them in a bad way. Struggling to get up, and they are gonna feel this match tomorrow.

 

Simon: It's actually Robertos who's gonna get up first, he's back under the apron, and it looks like he wants to speed this up, he gets two tables... does he understand the ruling that they have to be two separate table smashes?

 

Lenny: I don't think so, he's certainly stacking the tables on the outside, takes Elijah and pulls him onto the stack... going up up up and DIVING HEADBUTT TAKES ELIJAH THROUGH THE STACK!!!

 

Robertos Michael gets one elimination!

 

Ash: Robertos Michael has elimination number one!

 

Kendra: And he clearly didn't understand the assignment, he's in the ring arguing with Danny about the table count, Elijah struggling to his feet, and oh no the Titantron is flaring up again-

The lights cut out.

Blackness.

The crowd hushes.

“Something Just Like This” by The Chainsmokers & Coldplay begins to play.

 

 

The stage screen stays black.

Then a soft glow fades in as lyrics appear in warm pink and gold, radiant against the darkness.

I've been reading books of old
The legends and the myths

The crowd watches, transfixed.

Achilles and his gold
Hercules and his gifts

The words shimmer gently.

Spider-Man's control
And Batman with his fists

Phones rise throughout the arena.

And clearly I don't see myself upon that list

A low murmur rolls through the stands.

But she said, "Where'd you wanna go?
How much you wanna risk?

The camera cuts to faces—smiles, curiosity, intrigue.

I'm not lookin' for somebody
With some superhuman gifts

The pink and gold glow deepens.

Some superhero
Some fairy-tale bliss

The music swells.

Just something I can turn to
Somebody I can kiss"

A warm reaction from the crowd.

I want something just like this

The words linger on the screen.

Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo

The screen pulses with the beat.

Oh, I want something just like this

The chorus fills the arena.

Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo

The crowd sways along.

Oh, I want something just like this

The light begins to fade.

I want something just like this

The music cuts out.

The screen at the top of the ramp goes completely black.

One final phrase fades onto the screen in the same soft pink and gold glow.

TRUST US

Silence.

 

Lenny: I feel like things are about to change again, and I can't tell if I'm excited or scared, but what I do know is Elijah is back on his feet and DUPPY RISE TO ROBERTOS MICHAEL! 

 

Kendra: Elijah's distractions are certainly paying dividends. 

 

Simon: I don't think it's Elijah doing it... he has his eye on the screen too and the expression on his face is not one of comfort. Shakes it off and rolls out of the ring, he's going for a table and slides it in and his count has restarted since going through that stack, remember it has to be two continuous instances. Setting it up in the corner and Robertos Michael is back to his feet, the Romanian Event, Devilishly Great is eyeing that table with hungry determination, knows that if he can get Elijah through the table that belt is all his... going for the spear BUT ELIJAH MOVES AND GUIDES ROBERTOS THROUGH THE TABLE ALONE!

 

Elijah gets one elimination!

 

Ash: Elijah has elimination number one!

 

Lenny: Robertos getting frustrated and locks in the Devil's Deal! Elijah flailing, but this isn't going to end this match!

 

Kendra: It's smart. Pass Elijah out, drive him through a table. Then drive him through another. And Elijah is out so it looks like this is how it's gonna go.

 

Simon: Robertos rolls out of the ring and... did Elijah just wink?

 

Lenny: Robertos gets the table! Robertos sets the table up in the ring, here we go... he's got Elijah up on the table and ELIJAH IS AWAKE! CUTTER THROUGH THE TABLE! HE JUST POSSUMED HIS WAY INTO VICTORY!

 

Elijah gets his second elimination and wins the match!

 

 

Ash: Here is your winner, and STILL Infernal Crown Champion.... THE CRYPTIC ONE.... ELIJAH!!!

 

Simon: And this crowd is firmly behind Elijah as he is able to once again pull a win from seemingly nowhere. 

 

Lenny: And now with him taking that championship to W2 in January, he has become the longest reigning top champ we've had since merging, and the definitive face of the Infern-

 

The lights go out again. The titantron starts to fizz but nothing comes on it. However when the lights come back on, Elijah is out cold with the word "TRUST" spraypainted on him.

 

Kendra: This is getting wild. We need medical out here. 

 

Simon: In the mean time, let's toss it backstage to Astrid Vale, who is talking with one of our US Title Match competitors, Sarah Sharp.

 

 

Astrid: I'm here with Sarah Sharp-

 

Sarah: Dr. Sarah Sharp. And Astrid, I think you need to enroll in my school. I mean look at you, girl. You used to be the lead announcer for your own show. You spoke with confidence and poise and commanded a room. And now you're here, back with your - let's be honest, lesser - sister, and you're not the voice anymore Astrid, you're just the amplifier. You went the wrong way on the ladder.  

 

Astrid: If my recollection serves, you went from being the World Champ to challenging for a mid-level belt. 

 

Sarah: It's called going for a Grand Slam, idiot, and being a 2 time champion. 

 

Astrid: Then wouldn't you be going for a different belt than one you've already earned? Let's be honest, how much of this is JP Spears related?

 

Sarah: How dare you. He is so beneath me.

 

Astrid: And yet, you keep chasing him.

 

Sarah: I was "chasing" the belt, not- you know what, I don't need this.

 

Sarah elbows past her.

 

 

Kendra: I know she's not sassing my girl like that. 

 

Lenny: Yeah, Astrid doesn't deserve that.

 

Kendra: I was talking about Sarah. 

 

Simon: O. Kay. Then. So anyway, we have that match later, but for now, we got three women about to set foot in an Iron Woman Match. It's also our last non-title match of the night. 

 

 

Ash: The following is an Iron Woman Match and it is Falls Count Anywhere! The winner will be the one with the most falls at the end of the 30 minute time limit! 

 

A deep, throbbing heartbeat reverberates through the crowd—slow, steady, primal. A chilling mist creeps across the entrance ramp as eerie, flickering candles illuminate a shadowy figure in the distance. Aja Lioness stands motionless beneath a twisted archway of gnarled, blackened branches, her piercing gaze locked on the ring like a predator stalking its prey.

 

 

🕯️ [Music Begins—An Ethereal Chant Mixed with Thundering Drums] 🕯️

 

The air thickens. Aja moves forward, slow and deliberate, each step echoing ominously as her steel-loaded Zombie Boot hits the ground with unnatural force. She wears a long, tattered cloak—deep crimson against the black void around her—drifting behind her like living shadow. Beneath it, the pentagram-emblazoned shirt glows faintly under the dim lighting, its presence a sinister omen.

 

🔥 [With a Sudden Stop, She Lifts a Hand, Fingers Curved Like Talons] 🔥

 

The lights flicker violently—momentary flashes reveal glimpses of eerie symbols carved into the entrance ramp. Then, with an abrupt, thunderous stomp, Aja slams her Zombie Boot to the ground—the weight shifting within, loading her next strike.

 

👁️ [Her Voice, Low and Haunting, Breaks Through the Silence] 👁️

"You cannot fight fate…"

 

Ash: FIRST! From Salem, representing Zora Luthor International and Asesinato S.A., the Witch, AJA LIONESS!

 

[Final Steps to the Ring—She Removes Her Cloak, Tossing It Aside]

Her towering 6’2” frame commands the space as she climbs the ropes, surveying the audience with an unreadable expression beneath the eerie glow. As she steps into the ring, she methodically draws a line across her throat with two fingers—a silent promise of destruction.

⏳ The Witch Has Arrived. The Ritual Begins. ⏳

 

Lenny: It remains to be seen if these other women will be able to hang with Aja for the full half hour. Aja I have no doubts about. 

 

Simon: That stamina, that steel resolve definitely gives her an edge. 

 

 

Randi Rah-Rah comes out waving her pom poms and kicking high to cheers.

 

 

Ash: And her opponents! First, from Tampa, Florida, RAAAANDI RAH RAH! 

 

Randi gets the crowd pumped and high fives them on her run down.

 

Simon: But don't count out Randi Rah-Rah, a cheerleader has to keep the crowd active through an entire sporting event so in comparison, 30 minutes is... not quite a cakewalk, but not untenable by any means.

 

Randi does a hands-free cartwheel and pops herself onto the apron and springs immediately right over that rope!

 

Kendra: Of course, if she burns out her energy early it's gonna be a long match for her. 

 

 

The lights go green as the yelping and drums lead to Riri doing a Haka on the stage.

 

 

When the big thumps of the bass drum kick in, they stomp and fireworks go off. 

 

The guitars start to kick in and she runs end to end the stage to get the audience pumped, with stomps and fireworks matching the big thumps of the bass drum. Steven yells "YEEEEEEEAH" and she begins to run down the ramp.

 

Ash: AND! From the Star Keys in the Chatham Islands.... RIIIIIIIRIIIIII TŌNU!

 

Riri high fives everyone she can on the way and without breaking stride slides Kylie Rae style into the ring. 

 

Simon: Riri powered by rage. Rage at Aja mostly, but rage at Randi on behalf of her friend Tiki Chamorro, who Randi betrayed to prove herself to Aja, who seemed offended at the idea of even sharing a ring. So both Randi and Riri have something to prove tonight.

 

Lenny: That's right, Simon. No gold, all glory.

 

The bell rings!

 

Simon: Riri out like a shot with a devastating shoulder tackle to the legs of Aja and just flips her right over!

 

Kendra: That rage is carrying her early on, but still smart enough to use her low center of gravity! Not losing a step, continuing the run and springboard right into a jumping flatliner!! RILAPSE!! And the cover-

 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Lenny: Randi kicks, an easy out, Riri shoves Randi right into Aja and a back cracker to Randi, Randi rebounds back and tilt-a-whirl poison rana to Riri!! Going for a pin-not even a one before Riri is back up, and Riri leaps Randi to blast Aja with a shotgun dropkick!

 

Simon: Aja is not used to being out of control, in a vulnerable position, neither she nor Randi were ready for Riri. 

 

Kendra: I'm tellin' you though, that rage is gonna burn her out well before the bell rings.

 

Lenny: Maybe, but for now, she's out on the apron and a Blockbuster to Aja! 

 

29 minutes remain.

 

Kendra: Randi taking the opportunity, handspring cartwheel moonsault to Aja, Riri gets behind her and German Suplex into a pin attempt, but Randi rolls out before the 1, chop to Riri and stomp to Aja. Aja is struggling in this match... wait, she and Randi are looking at each other, DOUBLE SUPLEX TO RIRI AND THEY BOTH PIN!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! 

 

Lenny: AJA YANKS RANDI'S ARM OFF!

 

Classic Jenny: THREE!

 

Aja Lioness (1) pins Riri Tōnu! Aja 1 Randi 0 Riri 0

 

Simon: Lioness decides at the last second she doesn't want to share the pin with Randi and despite getting herself beaten to high heaven and Riri's otherwise dominant performance, Aja notches the point on Riri. 

 

Kendra: Randi none too thrilled about that, catches Aja out of the pin with a huracanrana! And Riri ready for her, Uranage flattens her! Going for a pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO!

 

Lenny: Randi kicks, Riri gets her up on her shoulder, face to the sky- 

 

28 minutes remain.

 

Lenny: JUMPING BACK AND RANDI TAKES IT ON THE HEAD! RI-MIX!! And the pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu pins Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 1 Randi 0 Riri 1

 

Simon: Aja attempts to line up the boot, Riri ducks the Zombie Raising and gets Aja on her shoulder! RIIII-MIX!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Kendra: Aja reverses!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Lenny: RIRI REVERSES BACK!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (2) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 1 Randi 0 Riri 2

 

Kendra: Everyone's eaten one pin so far, but it's not about how many you eat, it's how many you feed to someone else and Riri takes an early lead.

 

Simon: Aja looking to reassert dominance, or really in this case assert dominance, and a Kesagiri chop to each of her opponents is a slow start on a long road. Randi takes exception and tornado DDT into a pin but Riri breaks it up before the 1. Randi slaps Aja on her way up.

 

Lenny: Aja pushing past Randi and devastates Riri with a running knee! Loading up that foot as the clock ticks off another minute.

 

27 minutes remain.

 

Kendra: ZOMBIE RAISING! WIPES RIRI CLEAN OUT WITH THAT FOOT THIS TIME! And completing the vengeance with a pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO!

 

Simon: Reversal by Riri-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Lenny: And reversed back!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Kendra: Riri not giving up here-but Aja kicks and snap suplex to Riri. Riri rolls to her feet, taking that run and BOOM RI-LAPSE TO RANDI! Going for the pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Simon: Aja breaks the pin up, she doesn't want Riri's lead getting any bigger. And Randi thanks her with a pop up jawbreaker! Randi into a headstand and she's got the headstand scissorlock on Riri!! And that hold is more intense than it seems, as the clock passes-

 

26 minutes remain.

 

Lenny: And I think Randi's gonna get her first fall!!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (1) makes Riri Tōnu submit! Aja 1 Randi 1 Riri 2

 

Kendra: And Aja couldn't break the hold in time but she smashes a pipe into the back of Randi!! She tries it again, but Randi backflips over her and shotgun dropkick!

 

Lenny: Someone like Randi isn't gonna let you hit the same move twice. Riri follows up on Aja with a running elbow drop, and Randi gets a spinkick right on Riri. Randi gets that pipe from Aja and she holds it on her throat!! She's going into a Camel Clutch variation using that pipe!!! Aja is gonna tap out!!! 

 

Randi Rah-Rah (2) makes Aja Lioness submit! Aja 1 Randi 2 Riri 2

 

Simon: Aja you can tell is pissed and a stiff punch to the face of Randi, Aja and Riri with a Double DDT! Going for the double pin-Randi pulls Riri over into a side-roll! But Riri reverses as we break the 5 minute mark!!

 

25 minutes remain.

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (3) pins Randi-Rah Rah! Aja 1 Randi 2 Riri 3

 

Kendra: We've got 6 falls in 5 minutes. It's nuts. And Riri keeps Randi locked up around the waist, mat slam. Double boot by Randi and Riri to Aja! Aja pushed back but rocks them both with a double clothesline!! And she loads up that boot, looking to take it to Riri again and ZOMBIE RAISING! Going for the cover-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Aja Lioness (2) pins Riri Tōnu! Aja 2 Randi 2 Riri 3

 

Simon: Riri has 3 falls but she's also taken 3 falls, one's gonna count towards the win and the other is gonna just tire you out. And Aja comes back around an STO to Randi, Riri throws Aja out of the ring and splash to Randi!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (4) pins Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 2 Randi 2 Riri 4

 

Kendra: Aja back in the ring as-

 

24 minutes remain.

 

Kendra: -we get 6 minutes in, and elbow drop, Riri up and the elbow gets Randi! Aja deadlift and gutwrench suplex to Randi! Riri from behind and bulldog to Aja! Randi back up with that handstand and she's got that locked in again!! Randi calls it the Spirited and you can see the light leaving Riri's eyes! And Riri will tap!!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (3) makes Riri Tōnu submit! Aja 2 Randi 3 Riri 4

 

Simon: Randi lets go and here comes Aja, but Riri ready for her to try a leg drop, rolls away and Aja airballs, Riri with a snapmare! Aja with a throat chop on Riri, up and one to Randi! Randi grabs her arm and judo flip! 

 

23 minutes remain.

 

Kendra: Aja back to her feet quickly and enzuigiri on Riri. ZOMBIE RAISING AGAIN!! Goes for the pin, Riri reverses!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! TH-

 

Simon: Aja reverses back!! But Randi breaks it up, and eats a Zombie Raising for her troubles!! Going for the pin but Randi reverses!! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (4) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 2 Randi 4 Riri 4

 

Kendra: Aja pissed and she launches Randi by her hair out of the ring!! Randi grabs a chair comes back into the ring as the clock winds down-

 

22 minutes remain.

 

Lenny: ZOMBIE RAISING PUSHES THE CHAIR INTO RANDI!! Pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Aja Lioness (3) pins Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 3 Randi 3 Riri 4

 

Kendra: Riri throws Aja out again, picks Randi up and RI-MIX!! Going for another cover on her-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (5) pins Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 3 Randi 4 Riri 5

 

Simon: Aja sets a table up outside, OH HERE COMES RANDI AND HURACANRANA PUTS AJA THROUGH HER OWN TABLE!!

 

Lenny: Randi actually kept the Falls Count Anywhere in mind here! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (5) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 3 Randi 5 Riri 5

 

Simon: Riri with a suicide dive and Randi catches her!! Powerslam into a pin!! RANDI REVERSES IT!!

 

21 minutes remain!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (6) pins Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 3 Randi 5 Riri 6

 

Kendra: Riri and Randi up, Randi locks in the Spirited! And Riri taps!!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (6) makes Riri Tōnu submit! Aja 3 Randi 6 Riri 6

 

Lenny: Randi breaks the hold, Aja hits her with a chair! Riri hits her with another chair! Double pin!! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! 

 

Simon: RANDI REVERSES ON BOTH OF THEM!! HOW DID SHE BUNCH THEM UP LIKE THAT!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (7/8) pins Aja Lioness and Riri Tōnu! Aja 3 Randi 8 Riri 6

 

Kendra: They roll out of that, Aja with the Zombie Raising to Riri! Going for the pin, immediately reversed!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO!

 

Lenny: Aja kicks, Randi gets her with a Tilt-a-Whirl Headscissors! And a pin as we pass the 10 minute mark!

 

20 minutes remain.

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (9) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 3 Randi 9 Riri 6

 

Simon: If you were to tell me that Randi was going to be the one to watch in this match, and that Aja would be having this hard a time, there's no way I'd believe you. 

 

Kendra: Aja looking to get it back, she gets that chair pressed against Randi's face and pushing a knee into her back!! Weird move, but counting as a submission by the way Jenny is looking at her! And Randi taps!

 

Aja Lioness (4) makes Randi Rah-Rah submit! Aja 4 Randi 9 Riri 6

 

Lenny: Riri with a punch to Aja, Randi hits Riri with an enzuigiri! Riri using the time to get something from under the ring, she has another chair and Randi eats a Flatliner onto the chair!! The cover-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (7) pins Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 4 Randi 9 Riri 7

 

Kendra: Aja ready for them with a chair but Randi with a Vandaminator knocks her straight down!! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (10) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 4 Randi 10 Riri 7

 

Simon: Randi hits double digits, and no letting up, she hits a spinning suplex as we hit the 11 minute mark.

 

19 minutes remain.

 

Kendra: Aja nails RANDI with the Zombie Raising! That boot is seein' a lot of action!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Aja Lioness (5) pins Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 5 Randi 10 Riri 7

 

Simon: Jenny's hand is gonna be so sore from today. Aja lifts Randi up, Riri joining looking for a double suplex... Randi pulls them both down in a Double DDT! 

 

Kendra: Randi finding the strength within her and spinebuster to Aja on the steps! Brutal! And she pulls the hair of Riri and drives her face first into that paper-thin ringside mat! 

 

Lenny: Aja from behind Randi and Inverted Suplex!! Riri sneaks behind Aja as

 

18 minutes remain.

 

Lenny: we cross the 12 minute line and you really do need to watch every angle to prevent this from happenin', inverted scoop slamming Aja onto Randi! Aja uses that to get mounted punches onto Randi and she locks in an armbar, Randi taps! 

 

Aja Lioness (6) makes Randi Rah-Rah submit! Aja 6 Randi 10 Riri 7

 

Kendra: Riri kinda handed Aja a fall without realizing it. 

 

Simon: Randi realized it, and she throat punches Riri! Randi tries it with Aja and Aja catches her out with a judo flip. Riri leapfrogs Aja and frog splash to Randi! Riri rolls a little too much, Randi and Aja with a double superkick to Riri!! They go for a double pin - NO AJA PUSHES RANDI OFF! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE! 

 

Aja Lioness (7) pins Riri Tōnu! Aja 7 Randi 10 Riri 7

 

Kendra: Aja pulls Riri up from the pin and a stalling suplex as

 

17 minutes remain.

 

Kendra: 13 minutes have gone by, dropping Riri down.

 

Simon: Riri manages to roll up, she gets Aja up on her shoulder and RI-MIX!!! RI-MIX TO RANDI!!!! She puts both of them down and going for a double pin!! Aja gets away from it, but Randi does not...

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (8) pins Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 7 Randi 10 Riri 8

 

Lenny: Aja pulls Riri up and release German Suplex! Riri right back up to her feet and elbow shot to Aja's ribs, Randi gets a spinning neckbreaker on Riri and goes for a cover-

 

 Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (11) pins Riri Tōnu! Aja 7 Randi 11 Riri 8

 

Kendra: Riri to her feet and immediately poison rana and a pin!

 

Riri Tōnu (9) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 7 Randi 11 Riri 9

 

16 minutes remain.

 

Lenny: Riri is still keeping herself going.

 

Kendra: Yeah yeah... OH LOOK AJA AND RANDI WITH SANDWICHING BOOTS TO RIRI. 

 

Simon: And Randi spins Aja around... facebuster onto the ramp! Spins her around for another pin-Aja reverses!! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Aja Lioness (8) pins Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 8 Randi 10 Riri 8

 

Kendra: Aja making a comeback, from being as deep in the hole as she was, she and Riri are both only 3 pins off from Randi and the speed this is going, that could be handled no problem.

 

Lenny: But Randi manages to keep her energy up and keep that lead just out of reach, corkscrew neckbreaker to Riri, keeping it going and a jawbreaker to Aja, and a stomp to the head, Riri with a kangaroo kick to Randi and corkscrew splash onto Aja!! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO!

 

Simon: Aja manages to reverse the roll up!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Lenny: Riri rolls it back!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (9) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 8 Randi 11 Riri 9

 

15 minutes remain.

 

Lenny: We are halfway through this. We are only halfway through this, and we have a total of 28 falls already. Good lord. 

 

Kendra: Aja Lioness with a hammerlock DDT to Randi, spins it around and Zombie Raising to Riri!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Aja Lioness (9) pins Riri Tōnu! Aja 9 Randi 11 Riri 9

 

Lenny: Randi from behind and locks the Spirited in on Aja!! She's trying to escape but they're on the middle of the ramp with nowhere to go, and Aja taps keeping that 3 point lead intact that she's had for half this battle so far.

 

Randi Rah-Rah (12) makes Aja Lioness submit! Aja 9 Randi 12 Riri 9

 

Simon: If they just keep trading off falls like this, we're not gonna get much different than we have. But who will be the first to break the pattern?

 

Kendra: Aja looks to try something different on Riri and puts her in an armbar headscissors... Riri fighting the hold but it's wrenched in and Randi is too exhausted to stop this from happening, she has a comfortable lead anyway, and this hold takes us through our 16th minute.

 

14 minutes remain.

 

Lenny: Riri looking for any way around or out of this... and she is able to roll her body up! She may be able to... she reverses into a small package pin!!! Amazing!!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (10) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 9 Randi 12 Riri 10

 

Kendra: Randi getting her head back into the game, taking a run and Riri rolls out of the way, Aja eats the leg drop and covering-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (13) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 9 Randi 13 Riri 10

 

Lenny: Randi gets up and gives a double stomp to Aja as punctuation. Aja responds with a Fujiwara Armbar and Randi trying to get herself out of it, Aja wrenching even deeper, Randi tries to flip away but Aja keeps the hold in and wrenches even deeper! 

 

Simon: You can hear the sheer agony in Randi, Aja isn't just looking for another fall, she's looking to unground the ability to keep that Spirited, she's looking to take her best tools, and we've only got 13 minutes to go.

 

13 minutes remain.

 

Kendra: Randi taps!!

 

Aja Lioness (10) makes Randi Rah-Rah submit! Aja 10 Randi 13 Riri 10

 

Lenny: Randi nursing the arm, Riri attempts to take advantage but Randi still has her legs intact and heel kick. 

 

Kendra: Aja attempts to take advantage and charging them both, they respond with a back body drop and Aja's head catches the ramp first!! That's ROUGH. 

 

Simon: Riri scoops Aja up, RI-MIX!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE! 

 

Riri Tōnu (11) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 10 Randi 13 Riri 11

 

12 minutes remain.

 

Lenny: Riri keeping it going focusing on Aja's head and neck, arm-trapped dragon sleeper! Aja reverses into a la magistral!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Simon: Riri reverses the roll-up!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (12) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 10 Randi 13 Riri 12

 

Lenny: Riri breaks the pattern and is now within one fall of Randi! And launches herself at Randi with a cross body!

 

Kendra: They're gonna have to get themselves off this ramp if they want to be able to be medically cleared for the W2 time, especially Aja who before today was one of the favorites to take the Gold Group. Randi looks in a Naked Choke on Riri!! She's using her good arm to keep the hold tight, and Riri is in trouble here!! Riri taps!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (14) makes Riri Tōnu submit! Aja 10 Randi 14 Riri 12

 

Simon: Randi saw her lead slipping and pulled some other tricks out of her bag, she lets go of Riri and takes a run, sling blade with her good arm to Aja and going for the quick cover!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (15) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 10 Randi 15 Riri 12

 

Kendra: Randi gets that 3 point lead back on Riri and now has a 5 point lead on Aja. I do have to give it to Riri that she got close but somehow this cheerleader is the MVP of this match. And as-

 

11 minutes remain.

 

Kendra: -we hit the 19 minute mark of this match, she is basically alternating keeping Riri and Aja down... no hand running moonsault to Riri. Running back AJA CATCHES HER WITH THE ZOMBIE RAISING! And the cover-RANDI REVERSES IT!!! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (16) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 10 Randi 16 Riri 12

 

Lenny: You'd think that Rica Muerte would have been more of a help in this.

 

Simon: Apparently my report is that she was knocked out backstage by someone. 

 

Kendra: I bet it was Sneaky Tiki.

 

Lenny: Wait what the hell is Randi doing, it looks like she's climbing up the mini-tron what are you playing at SHOOTING STAR PRESS TO AJA!!! AJA STILL ABLE TO ROLL HER UP!!! RANDI REVERSES!!!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! TH-

 

Simon: AJA ABLE TO REVERSE BACK!!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Kendra: How is she able to keep reversing??

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (17) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 10 Randi 17 Riri 12

 

Lenny: Randi taking a run and we're now at 10 minutes.

 

10 minutes remain.

 

Kendra: And a jumping knee drop to keep Riri down, coming back around AJA SMASHES HER WITH A MONITOR! Going for the cover-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Aja Lioness (11) Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 11 Randi 17 Riri 12

 

Simon: She has a lot of ground to cover to get the win here, she tries to scoop Riri up and Riri catches her with an arm drag! Riri picks Randi up, RI-MIX! going for the cover-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE! 

 

Riri Tōnu (13) pins Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 11 Randi 17 Riri 13

 

Kendra: Aja pulls the cable off the monitor and gets it around Riri's neck!!! She's going for a Rear Naked Choke with the wire's assistance!!! Riri desperately trying to loosen the cord and we are down to 9 minutes!

 

9 minutes remain.

 

Lenny: This has been a battle and a half for these three women, and we are 2/3 of the way through this fight, Riri struggling with that cord and you can hear her gasping, and this is getting a bit painful to watch I'm not gonna lie, the air clearly leaving Riri's face and she's trying to elbow out but the elbows are barely landing, Randi still too knocked out to break it up, she's going on 45 seconds in this hold now, and Riri's pride keeping her from tapping, getting just enough loose for just enough time to get some oxygen in her but this is bleak. 

 

Kendra: Just tap already and let the hold be broken, and yeah, she's finally gonna do it, that took us the better part of this minute but Riri gives.

 

Aja Lioness (12) makes Riri Tōnu submit! Aja 12 Randi 17 Riri 13

 

Simon: Aja finally releases the wire, and pushes Riri's head down. She still has to make up 5 falls to tie with Randi and just under 8 and a half minutes to do it. 

 

Lenny: Randi not gonna make it easy, Riri's determination gave her a chance to get on her feet finally and a running leg bulldog means that Aja eats steel! Aja up, and ignoring Randi as she drops an elbow onto the fallen Riri. 

 

Simon: That seems to have woken Randi, Randi with a brutal snap suplex to Aja on the steel as we cross the 22 minute threshold. 

 

8 minutes remain.

 

Kendra: Don't say anything.

 

Lenny: I'm gonna say a lot. Riri snap suplexes Randi onto Aja and she's going for the stacked pin!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (14/15) pins Aja Lioness and Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 12 Randi 17 Riri 15

 

Simon: Once again Riri finds herself within 2 falls of Randi and Aja finds herself in a rough position. But moves like that can change the game in an instant and prove it's still anyone's match. Riri drags them both to the stage and climbing the Mini-Tron... DOUBLE FROG SPLASH! Going for the double pin AGAIN!! But Aja escapes, and it's just gonna be on Randi!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (16) pins Aja Lioness and Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 12 Randi 17 Riri 16

 

Kendra: Riri up and Aja with a prawn roll!!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Aja Lioness (13) pins Riri Tōnu! Aja 13 Randi 17 Riri 16

 

Simon: Gotta give it to Aja, that was smart playing. Randi to her feet, ZOMBIE RAISING PUTS HER RIGHT BACK DOWN!!! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Aja Lioness (14) pins Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 14 Randi 17 Riri 16

 

Lenny: These women are wiped out. You can see it in their faces. They've been doing this non-stop for almost 23 minutes. And so far have clocked 46 falls between them. Randi moves first with a headbutt to Aja but doesn't have the strength to follow up. Aja crawls over to Riri and locks another Rear Naked on her! And you can see Riri's eyes starting to roll back!

 

7 minutes remaining.

 

Kendra: Her body is also rolling back almost as if on its own, but it's going to count as a roll-up on Aja!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

 

Riri Tōnu (17) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 14 Randi 17 Riri 17

 

Simon: That would have been three unanswered falls by Aja putting her within two falls of Randi, but Riri ties up the lead maybe without even realizing it. Riri fighting to her feet, scoops Aja up with some difficulty, and Samoan Drops her off the Stage!! 

 

Kendra: I don't know if she just fell backwards, but Aja took the impact!! 

 

Lenny: They both are feeling it though, and Aja able to roll Riri off her. Aja pulling at the prone Randi from the ramp, drapes her over and Orton DDTs her down! Going for a pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Aja Lioness (15) pins Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 15 Randi 17 Riri 17

 

Kendra: The lack of quit in these women is UNREAL. They may be three limp noodles in their bodies but their spirits are as lithe as when the bell rang, and Aja now within 2 falls of tying the others. She gets to her feet, and body slams Randi on top of Riri! Both victims roll on their side so no pin, only pain, Randi up, she grabs a chair from the crowd and opens it! Putting the open chair around Aja's neck and closes it...JUDO FLIP!!! 

 

Simon: She barely mustered the strength to do it, but she wants her lead back as she covers Aja-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (18) pins Aja Lioness (15)! Aja 15 Randi 18 Riri 17

 

Lenny: Riri manages to get up, arms around Randi's waist and Release Belly to Back! Randi's legs hit the steel of the ramp!

 

6 minutes remain.

 

Simon: Riri capitalizes, slamming her legs back into the steel! Randi crumples downward, Aja has a chance to release the chair from her neck and gets it on Riri's!!! Chair-assisted Surfboard!!! She's trying to fight it but there's no relief and she taps!!

 

Aja Lioness (16) makes Riri Tōnu submit! Aja 16 Randi 18 Riri 17

 

Kendra: One point between Aja and Riri. One point between Riri and Randi. These three have kept this close. Not a great defensive match, but an amazing offensive match. 

 

Lenny: I mean, I disagree, there were a lot of reversed moves and pins. Aja exhausted from that hold though, and releases. Riri gets the chair off her neck and places it over Randi's arm!! STOMP!!! STOMP AGAIN!!! Grabs Aja by the hair and slams her face into the concrete!!! Trying it again, Aja with an elbow to the ribs and gives it right back to Riri!!

 

Kendra: She could easily take advantage of this now and close that gap! 

 

Simon: She tries it with Riri, but Riri gets her up on the shoulder and we've got 5 minutes to go!

 

5 minutes remain.

 

Lenny: She's signaling to the crowd... RI-MIX ONTO THE CONCRETE!!!! Going for the pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (18) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 16 Randi 17 Riri 18

 

Simon: Pulls away from Aja and ties up with Randi again as we get under 5 minutes in this match! But neither of them able to get up, Randi up on the stage and dives down with a Coffin Drop, tries to cover them both!! AJA FLIPS HER AND RANDI AND STEALS THE DOUBLE PIN!!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Aja Lioness (17/18) pins Randi Rah-Rah and Riri Tōnu! Aja 18 Randi 18 Riri 18

 

Kendra: WE ARE ALL TIED UP! WE ARE ALL TIED UP!

 

Simon: UNBELIEVABLE STEAL BY AJA TO GET HERSELF BACK IN THIS! 

 

Lenny: That was an amazing play but Aja rolls off the pile, you can tell she's tired, and Riri locks in a Rear Naked Choke on Randi!! NO RANDI REVERSES INTO A PIN!!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (19) pins Riri Tōnu! Aja 18 Randi 19 Riri 18

 

Kendra: Randi snipes her lead back! And she tries it with Aja but Aja reverses her into a Boston Crab!! And Randi taps!!! 

 

Aja Lioness (19) makes Randi Rah-Rah submit! Aja 19 Randi 19 Riri 18

 

Simon: Aja to her feet, Randi struggling up ZOMBIE RAISING! AJA MAY TAKE THE LEAD RIGHT HERE!!!

 

4 minutes remain.

 

Lenny: RANDI FINDS IT IN HERSELF TO REVERSE THE PIN!!! HOW!!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (20) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 19 Randi 20 Riri 18

 

Kendra: The look of utter dismay on Aja's face, this is maybe the first time we've ever seen her truly beside herself. Throughout this match she's been keeping her calm composure but she saw her first shot at the lead her stolen. 

 

Lenny: Aja underestimated Randi Rah-Rah, and this is telling her hopefully that this woman can hang. And an angry slap by Aja to Randi, into a snap DDT. Going for a quick side cradle-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Aja Lioness (20) pins Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 20 Randi 20 Riri 18

 

Simon: And Riri is fast finding herself less a part of this match.

 

Kendra: See? I told you. And Aja getting that chair again, and open and shut over Randi's head, back into that Mexican Surfboard! RANDI TAPS!!!!

 

Aja Lioness (21) makes Randi Rah-Rah submit! Aja 21 Randi 20 Riri 18

 

Simon: With less than 3 and a half minutes left, Aja finally gets her first lead of the match. And Inverted DDT with that chair still latched on, she's looking to hurt Randi more! Turning her attention to Riri and Release German onto the steel of the ramp. 

 

Lenny: Aja finds her way onto the ramp and now looking to extend her newfound lead with a spike piledriver to Riri on that steel.

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Aja Lioness (22) pins Riri Tōnu! Aja 22 Randi 20 Riri 18

 

3 minutes remain.

 

Kendra: Down to the last three minutes, and Aja has found her pace at the right time. Another brutal spike piledriver and the neck of Riri is imperiled now! Going for another pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Lenny: RIRI REVERSES INTO A SMALL PACKAGE!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (19) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 22 Randi 20 Riri 19

 

Lenny: Don't count her out yet!! 450 splash down onto Randi!!!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (20) pins Aja Lioness! Aja 22 Randi 20 Riri 20

 

Lenny: Tied up with Randi again but this time they're in deficit to Aja, but what a comeback she could mount. 2 falls in over 2 minutes is completely doable. And she drags the prone Aja down back below the ramp on top of Randi to prove it. Going for the stacked pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (21/22) pins Randi Rah-Rah and Aja Lioness! Aja 22 Randi 22 Riri 20

 

Lenny: See, just like that Riri and Aja are now tied for the lead with 2:13 to go. Aja pops herself up for a low-hanging coffin drop on Randi. Picking Randi up now, holding, holding as we cross the 28 minute mark-

 

2 minutes remain.

 

Lenny: And a stalling brainbuster. Randi and Riri each hook a leg from the ground and trip to Aja. Randi and Riri up, Riri going for a spin kick, Randi catching and dragon leg whip. Aja up, Randi ducks a spin kick and back cracker. Aja and Riri look at each other... double back suplex to Randi and going for the double pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Riri Tōnu (23) and Aja Lioness (23) pin Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 23 Randi 20 Riri 23

 

Kendra: Did nothing to break the tie, just stuck it to Randi for her long lead. And Aja pocks Riri in the eyes, that partnership is over soon as it began. And follows that up with a Hammerlock DDT! 

 

Lenny: Randi was the dominant force most of this match, and now she's looking like she's basically written out of it. Oh but she's up and Riri with a double inverted suplex to Aja, before they climb back onto the ramp and away from this crowded area. AJA TRIPS RIRI FACE FIRST ONTO THE STEEL! And loads up her boot as we get down to the final minute...

 

1 minute remains!

 

Lenny: And we know what that means... ZOMBIE RAISING TO RANDI!!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Aja Lioness (24) pins Randi Rah-Rah! Aja 24 Randi 20 Riri 23

 

Kendra: An absolutely CRUCIAL pin for Aja in this last minute. And Randi's defeat is all but assured, Riri hypothetically COULD come back but will she? I highly doubt it.

 

Simon: Aja picks Randi up, RANDI FLIPS AROUND HER!! RANDI WITH A POISON RANA AND AJA'S NECK BOUNCES OFF THE STEEL!! ONE TO RIRI AS WELL!!! AND SHE GOES FOR THE STACKED PIN, ONE LAST GASP!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Randi Rah-Rah (21/22) Riri Tōnu and Aja Lioness! Aja 24 Randi 22 Riri 23

 

Lenny: Oh my God!! And everyone down again, Aja rakes Riri's eyes from behind. Riri rolls back, to her feet and gets Aja in a headlock, Randi joins her and double DDT!

 

 Kendra: Aja finds her way up, atomic drop to Randi, throat chop to Riri, last 10 seconds, Riri to her feet and gets Randi up and a RI-MIX but just on the buzzer and that's gonna do it!!! AJA LIONESS COMES FROM WAY BEHIND AND WINS!!!

 

Aja Lioness wins with a score of 24 falls!!