JANUARY 11, 2026
HELSINKI, FINLAND

HELSINKI OLYMPIC STADIUM

 

Fireworks go off as "Cha, Cha, Cha" plays in Helsinki Olympic Stadium.

 

 

Valerie: WHAT'S UUUUP EVERYONE! WELCOME TO HELSINKI DAY 3 OF THE B GROUP AND DAY 1 POST COLIN. I'M VALERIE THOMAS!

 

 

Sherman: And I'm Sherman Grace. And as my colleague said, our final seat is open as we are facing a weird world, the first time in over a decade where MAWL and Colin McRae are not intrinsically connected. Leila Blake will be out here any moment to let us know what all this means. 

 

 

Leila Blake steps out to a mixed reaction.

 

 

Leila: Hello. I know you're all having many big feelings, as am I, about the changes happening around here. And there are in fact many. So I figured we'll go into all the staffing changes just real quick before we get into the figh.

 

First, I disagree with Colin on its head about not needing a General Manager. Do I need to be involved intimately with this show and all its aspects? Absolutely. But as we're growing, threads on the bigger level need to be kept tighter, I mean look what happened with Marvin Patel where he thought he could just reopen his fed while we own the rights to the name and his contract. 

 

So yes, I do need a day-to-day person as my right hand. And as knowledgeable as he was, I realize now that an announcer - no shade to you all at the desk - may not necessarily have the constitution to do the harder part of the job. No, we need someone used to making hard calls who doesn't care if people get mad at them, and who will enforce with a bit more of a strict and even-keel hand than we've had here. We need...a referee. So with that in mind, please welcome the only person I trust to do an even keel job, someone who's growing and the way we've been referring to them has shown that growth. You've known her as Andra, as DeAndra, and now, please welcome DA Jones!

 

 

DA: Thank you for entrusting this awesome responsibility in me. Now, I know a lot of you are just used to hearing me count numbers. And as a referee, this is what it comes down to. Numbers are objective. Numbers don't have goals or ulterior motives, unless the person in control of them does. Numbers are clean and clear. And that same mentality as a ref is what's gonna help me shape this place up from its damn mess. And that's where I decided to change the name again. DA is clean, crisp, and is a bit like a District Attorney, and that's exactly how I intend to sit in this space. 

 

Leila: With this, Carter Vale steps into the head referee position, and Farrah Lance is going to be running the groups that DA was doing. 

 

 

Farrah: Thank you. I will do much better than my sleazy sister Erica to do you all proud. 

 

Leila: Filling Colin's seat for the remainder of the event is someone who has been apprised of the action this entire time, and we're moving them-

 

The crowd pops loud as this becomes clear who we mean.

 

Leila: To the announcing desk, filling in for Colin on these days and then taking the seat for Simon when he decides to move on to 404, Ash Greaves-Orleans!

 

 

Leila: And taking their spot as our ring announcer, their amazing wife Sheri Orleans!

 

 

Valerie: Welcome to the desk, Ash!

 

Ash: Thank you! I've loved doing the announcing, but it'll be great to actually nerd out about wrestling in a more full way. AND it'll be amazing to not have to be away from Sheri so much. Many thanks to Leila for seeing this in me and in Sher-Bear, my fashionable queen. And we'll all help navigate MAWL through this pretty tumultuous time. She's actually the one who suggested I start saying ONE FALL in a way that gets a pop, so you think I've got the crowd going, just you wait. 

 

Leila: This is all different. MAWL is a different beast in 2026, and I am excited for it. I think you'll all love what this all becomes. Speaking of become, we're going to have some matches to fill in those empty spots left by Schmetterling, Magnus, and Stitches-

 

DA: - And Black Saber, who wasn't supposed to be in this after injuring Rudolf Dudenoff, and I saw right to it that THAT noise was rectified, but is now going on a mission to take it to the traitors in Waves of Pain.

 

Leila leaves the ring, followed by DA Jones.

 

Ash: And now, we actually get to the fighting, and I am honestly really excited to be over here and to watch my wife in action. Y'all better give her at least the same amount of love you give me. 

 

Sherman: And give my friend Ash here as much love in this role as you gave them in the ring. But now these replacement matches before we get into the thick of B3. 

 

Ash: BRING US IN MY BESTIE WIFE!

 

INSTAGATOR VS VIC TORY

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL! 

 

Sheri: And the winner of this match will replace Stitches the Clown going forward in the W2!

 

 

Vic Tory comes out in a blazer, saluting the crowd. 

 

 

Sheri: FIRST! From Kleinburg, Ontario, Canada, the Arbiter of Organizational Chaos, VIC TORY!

 

Valerie: There's a bunch of new blood that seemed to slide right past the Gung Ho crowd.

 

Ash: My understanding is that they were significantly impressive as a group, and this is one of the standouts, so they're getting their big break now. It's cool to see a fellow they/them in the ring, I'm curious what will happen here. 

 

 

InstaGator comes out with a Selfie-stick, as she is posing on Insta Live her entrance. She turns to the crowd and takes a Selfie with them.

 

 

Sheri: And their opponent! From Key West, Florida, INSTAGATOR!! 

 

InstaGator films herself with the crowd around her as the Titantron shows "Instagram Live Feed." She takes a selfie with Vic, then immediately wraps the Selfie Stick around their neck and performs a take on the Skull Crushing Finale!

 

The bell rings!

 

Farrah: ONE! TWO! THREE! 

 

InstaGator wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, INSTAGATOR! 

 

InstaGator poses over Vic, doing her take on the Grant Gustin at a Grave meme, and takes a Selfie.

 

Sherman: Insta Victory by InstaGator!

 

Ash: That was a cheap shot and she knows it. She should be ashamed. 

 

Sherman: Welcome to this side of things, Ash. A lot happens between bell calls. 

 

Valerie: However you feel about her methods, she's now inserted herself into the W2. 

 

Ash: There are what, three more of these before we get to the W2 Proper? Let's get it rolling.

 

MALCRI VS MAX MATTHEWS

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL! 

 

Sheri: And the winner will replace Magnus going forward in the W2!

 

 

The arena darkens, followed by light blue colored lights shining throught the ring, wrestler makes entrance while a spotlight shines upon him until he makes his entrance.

 

 

Sheri: First! From Washington DC, weighing 115 kg, MAX POWER MAX MATTHEWS!!

 

He stops 5 meters in front the ring to squat and shout "Waaaaaa!!!" before entering the ring.

 

 

The lights go out, the music starts, the phrase "Comprende al Control" is said and after the next beat, the pyro explodes, the lights go on and Malcri comes out onto the stage raising his arms and encouraging the audience.

 

 

Sheri: And his opponent! From Bolivia, weighing 100 kg, the Bolivian Proud, MALCRI!

 

The bell rings!

 

Ash: Max isn't going to let this opportunity go to waste. Poor guy's been sitting in catering looking for his shot, but getting it against someone undefeated is an unfortunate pull.

 

Valerie: Max's loading in with a blistering set of chops, looking to be the first blemish on that record, and to that I say good damn luck. Irish Whipping Malcri into the corner and here comes that freight train. Malcri gets a squishing! 

 

Sherman: This match is already twice as long as the last one, and Max beating down Malcri with those Polish Hammers, running back and another Cross Body Splash into the corner. Oof. There's some brutality coming from Max Power, and it's helping him light up this early portion of the match. Pulling Malcri up to the top turnbuckle and climbing up after him, looking for that Super Fallaway Slam and OHHH MALCRI'S BODY GETS ROLLED ON THAT LANDING! 

 

Valerie: Mal went a little too far away for Max to get a pin, and the problem THERE becomes that now Malcri has some track to get momentum back. 

 

Ash: Sure enough, Malcri to his feet, Malcri takes a run at Max and Max looking to get the grab, NO Malcri with a Neymar cut to the ropes and springboard dropkick and Max staggering back, Malcri taking the opportunity to keep the run going and a bulldog! 

 

Sherman: Max needs to learn to control the distance on that fallaway slam, or better yet try for a front slam, that could have put this match in more peril for Mal rather than by Mal. Flying headbutt by Mal, and we get our first pin attempt!

 

Farrah: ONE! 

 

Ash: Max gets the shoulder up, Mal stomping him out and Max pushes him away and pulls him right back in, gets him with a jumping armbar takedown! Armbar takedown in the other direction! Keep the action contained and you have a good chance of sealing this one up or you can throw him across into an Irish Whip. That is also a choice.

 

Sherman: Max runs the other way and going for the Spear MALCRI LEAPFROGS THE SPEAR BACK AROUND AND THAT HURACANADIAN DESTROYERANA... THAT BOLIVIAN RANA...ABSOLUTELY WRECKS MAX MATTHEWS!!

 

Farrah: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Malcri wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: HERE IS YOUR WINNER.... THE BOLIIIIIIVIAN PROUD....MALCRI!!!

 

Malcri raises his hands and climbs to the top rope, hyping the crowd.

 

Sherman: Malcri has had a meteoric rise already, and now he finds himself in the W2. What a landmark for him. The crowd is into it.

 

Valerie: Ironically, his only "loss" is inherited... it won't go against his Power Ranking but it does put him a little behind in this event. But if he keeps doing as he does, he will have NO problem making up for lost time.

 

Ash: And that's two empty spots filled, we got two more, so let's see who's coming out next.

 

ALYSA LIU VS KELLY KRUEL

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Sheri: And the winner of this match will replace Schmetterling in the W2!

 

 

Kelly Kruel steps out of a fog filled entrance to boos, she sneers at the crowd.

 

 

Sheri: First! Representing Kruel, from Jacksonville, Florida, KELLY KRUEL!

 

Ash: flatly Oh good. They're back. 

 

Kelly Kruel laughs cruelly as she threatens to smack people in the audience. 

 

 

Gold sparklers shoot up from the floor and down from the ceiling, as Alysa Liu walks out to overwhelming cheers. Alysa does a double spin on the apron and raises her hands.

 

 

Sheri: And her opponent!! From Clover, California, the Olympic Gold OG, ALYSA LIU!

 

She runs out high fiving the crowd.

 

Valerie: There's no way. Right?

 

Ash: Figure skating and lucha wrestling are not vastly different in what's expected of your body. I think she can do well here.

 

The bell rings!

 

Valerie: And Kelly mocking the Olympian for even daring to be here, and slaps Alysa across the face! She made sure to get some acrylic in that slap!!

 

Sherman: Alysa smiling, jumps up from nowhere and tilt-a-whirl headscissors!!! That usually requires a bit of momentum but the Gold Medalist says "that won't be necessary!" And a jumping corkscrew moonsault for the quick pin!

 

Farrah: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Alysa Liu wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner, The Olympic Gold OG, ALYSA LIU!!!!

 

Valerie: Kelly Kruel is absolutely godsmacked and I honestly don't blame her! This 20 year old upstart just derailed a wrestling icon right before our very eyes!!!

 

Ash: Welcome to the W2, Alysa, hope you enjoy the ride. We've got one more match to fill in these gaps before getting to the main reason for this all.

 

LEXXUS O.C. VS DOROTHY DAMAGE

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Sheri: And is to replace Black Saber in the W2!!

 

 

The ramp shows a yellow brick road as the lights flicker mimicking a tornado. Through it Dorothy Damage walks out carrying a basket with a cute little dog in it.

 

 

Sheri: FIRST! From Topeka, Kansas, DOROTHY DAMAGE!

 

The crowd cheers as Dorothy walks out waving warmly, occasionally petting her dog as she heads down the ramp to the ring.

 

Valerie: Been a little bit since she was in singles' action.

 

Sherman: Depending on how this goes we may have longer to wait. 

 

 

The lights flash gold and white as a Lexus pulls up. Out steps Lexxus OC, with designer sunglasses that she starts to take off, but after looking briefly around the arena, puts back on.

 

 

Sheri: And her opponent! From Queens, New York, the Founder and CEO of Estraga Corporation, the Winner of Class Warfare, LEXXUS OC! 

 

Lexxus saunters down the ramp holding her designer bag. She snaps her fingers as she gets to the ring, and from under the mat two shirtless men with bowties lift her up into the ring. She lets out a scornful chuckle as she steps between the ropes. 

 

The bell rings!

 

Sherman: Lexxus and Dorothy stare each other down. This could be a capstone moment for either of these people and-wait-

 

 

Lulu Antariksa steps out onto the entrance way wearing a hat and holding a microphone.

 

 

Lulu: I've made my decision.

 

The audience, Lexxus, the Ref, Dorothy all stop and turn to Lulu. She taps the microphone, taking in the moment.

 

Lulu: You see, I had to weigh my conscience against a chance of glory. It's no secret that I've been struggling in this event, and in the ring in general. But the fans have always had my back, win or lose. And that's a beautiful thing to witness, that people will love you even when you're down. So do I throw that all away for a payday? Do I turn my back on all these people for a slightly better chance at victory, when you'd support me even when I lose?

 

It's becoming clear she's vamping, enjoying the attention.

 

 

Winna Gale (why does she seem familiar) slides into the ring with a chair! No one sees it that we're aware of. 

 

Lulu: You see, here's the thing though. Do you know why you support me even when I lose? Because it feels relatable. And do you know why it feels relatable?

 

WINNA DECKS DOROTHY WITH THE CHAIR AND STEALS HER DOG! Lulu chuckles and smacks her lips.

 

Lulu: It's because you're losers. And I don't feel the same way about you. 

 

Lulu takes her hat off to reveal her newly done hair with 24 karat gold streaks in it.

 

 

Lulu: Because yesterday showed me that I can be a winner, if I have the right backing. And speaking of winner, boss, turn around and claim your prize.

 

Valerie: Lulu is throwing in her lot with Estraga!! And Dorothy Damage just paid the price of entry!!

 

Farrah: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Lexxus OC wins by Pinfall.

 

 

Sherri: Here is your winner, LEXXUS OC!

 

Lexxus rolls out of the ring, and follows Winna to the Lexus. Lulu opens the back door and pulls out a bottle and three flutes of champagne. They pop, pour, and toast as the three of them point and laugh at the flattened Dorothy in the ring before they enter the car. The car pulls away and the camera focuses for a moment on Dorothy Damage, who is just getting up and realizing in total despair that not only has she lost, but her dog has been taken. 

 

 

DA is in her office and already holding the bridge of her nose in frustration. This must be a new position record.

 

 

DA: I'm sorry. WHAT the hell are you tryin' to do here? You give me 30,000 dollars and what-

 

 

Shawn: And then me and Kyle win the Golden and Silver Groups, we make it to the top o' the tournament and one of us wins the W2.

 

Kyle: And everyone goes home happy. 

 

DA: Whatever Colin did-

 

 

Zora: Colin was... too pure for this job.

 

DA: So he couldn't be bribed. 

 

Zora: A gauche way to put it but-

 

DA: So what makes you think I can? What exactly do you think is gonna be different here?

 

Kyle: Well, you're-

 

DA: What? Careful about that next word. It because I'm a referee? Do I look like Damaris Peña to you? Do I look like Erica Lance to you? Do I look like Lily Martin to you? 

 

Shawn: Lily Martin is a little before our time-

 

DA: Boy, Zoobilee Zoo is before your time. Get out my damn office before I make you defend your Crimson Rite in a gauntlet match and turn your Fatal Four Corners into an Extremely Fatal Eight Corners. I got connections from my MMA days that'll make your eyes bleed. Figuratively AND literally. So git. Git, boy. Go on, skiddle skiddle skeet young blood. 

 

Shawn and Kyle Harris start to shuffle out of their seats. DA quickly snaps her head to Zora. 

 

DA: And what makes YOU think it's gonna be any different for you?

 

Zora: Because their 30 K is chump change and they're still obviously cutting a profit from the Groups, albeit a stupid small one. I have private jet money for you.

 

DA: Y'all tryin' to buy a black woman? How do you think that looks? 

 

Everyone gets uncomfortable for a second. This finally causes Kyle and Shawn to back out slowly. Zora remains, sitting thin-lipped.

 

Zora: I'm not trying to "buy you off". I'm talking businesswoman to businesswoman.

 

DA: Oh I didn't know I was talking to Cheryl Damn Sandberg. I didn't know we were leaning in girlfriend. I must be givin' real Mary Kay Cutco Ameriprise damn energy here. 

 

Zora: Please. I'm 0-3. Name your price.

 

DA: Whose fault you think that is? Get out there and win your own damn matches.

 

Zora starts to leave in a huff when she crosses paths with Lexxus OC. 

 

 

Zora: thinly Alexandria.

 

Lexxus: thinly Zoniah.

 

Zora: How's your little start-up going, backstabber?

 

Lexxus: How's your Golden Goose Egg... oh wait, there's no Gold. Just a Goose Egg. 

 

Lexxus makes a "0" with her hand, and Zora huffs off.

 

Lexxus: Okay. Now that the white people are gone, we can-

 

DA: Don't do that.

 

Lexxus: What.

 

DA: Don't come in here thinking I'm your sister queen. Don't come in thinking we're Saweetie and Doja Cat. Don't come into my office thinking this is WAP, or that I'm gonna She-Hulk Twerk with you.

 

Lexxus: I mean, you clearly wanted me in this event. I know you have a bit of that dog in you. 

 

DA: Everyone comin' in here thinkin' I can be bought. DAMN. If Zora Luthor couldn't do it, the hell makes you think you can?

 

Lexxus: Because I got some inside scoop. Zora is also playing with chump change, and I low key bought one of her branches. She just doesn't know it yet. She says she got that private jet money, I got that buy-your-name-off-the-watchlist money. 

 

DA: That right-turn redpill bullshit musta damaged your damn brain. You ain't started yet, which means another match can be set that you'll have NO chance in winning. I. Don't. Have. A. Price.

 

Lexxus straightens her jacket, clears her throat and gets to her feet with a small smile.

 

Lexxus: You know, when I first entered the public eye I thought I didn't either. But I'm so happy I was wrong, and I'm so happy that I can show other idealists the same. Everyone has a price, DA. You just haven't faced yours yet.

 

Lexxus leaves. DA waits for the door to close then pours herself some brandy. 

 

 

Valerie: DA Jones is already bringing a whole other energy to that role.

 

 

Ash: She's got a smile that can light up a room, and she can the sweetest most gregarious person, but she is all business. This is exactly how she was as a ref, this is why she has this role, and she is unflappable and unpurchasable. 

 

 

Sherman: But I think that Lexxus is right and everyone has a price.

 

Ash: I don't know if I believe all that. Valerie?

 

Valerie: Do you see my necklace? Of course I can be bought. I love nice things. I'm not going to pretend I'm incorruptible. 

 

Ash: Oh boy.

 

Valerie: Lex call me.

 

Ash: Hon, save us from this.

 

W2 DAY B-3

 

TAMARA RIVERS VS LUCIANO

 

 

Sheri: The following contest IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

The arena darkens as Luciano's music hits, and spotlights flicker between dark red and white. Luciano slowly walks out onto the stage, pausing momentarily to look around, sunglasses reflecting the lights.

 

 

Sheri: FIRST! From Brooklyn, New York, weighing in at 294 pounds, LUCIANO!!

 

He then confidently strides down the ramp, his intense gaze never leaving the ring.

 

Sherman: Luciano is 2-0 here, as opposed to Tamara's 0-2, so the confidence he had going into the first two matches is just that much increased.

 

Reaching ringside, Luciano climbs the steel steps, pausing dramatically before stepping through the ropes. Once inside, he removes his sunglasses and leather vest, revealing his heavily tattooed physique, and stares down the entrance, waiting for his opponent with a cold, calculated expression.

 

 

The drum riff hits to the instrumental version of Nothing But Thieves "Trip Switch" hits as three lightning bolts shoot from an image of the Manx three-leg symbol done as gears. The lights give a flickering feeling, as if power surging.

 

 

Sheri: AND HIS OPPONENT! From Onchan, Isle of Man, The CIRCUITBREAKER, TAMARA RIVERS!!

 

Tamara walks down the ring, cracking her fists, all business. The crowd cheers, and she nods to them, giving quick fist bumps then immediately turning her attention to the ring.

 

Ash: No mucking about from Tamara today, she's ready to go and let's get this one started. 

 

Tamara lunges at Luciano with a Thesz Press as the match starts. 

 

Valerie: I'm not sure what Luciano was expecting but it sure as hell wasn't that. Tamara like a ship on fire, yanks Luciano up and Irish Whip...absolutely wrecks him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, and that's gonna reset a couple vertebrae on Luciano. She scoops him up and right into a Belly to Belly! Going for the leg hook cover-

 

 

Lisa: ONE! 

 

Sherman: One count by the "Doc" Lisa Lane, they call her that because of her ties to the former DOC but also her clinical precision and extensive ring knowledge, but Luciano kicks out and drives her to the ground with a snap suplex, scoops her up and an Exploder Suplex, before she can fully get to her feet he charges with a huge big boot. 

 

Ash: Luciano looking to make up for lost time from that initial onslaught, gets her by the hair and keeps her on the ground with hammer fists, pulls her up by her arms now and going for the double underhook DDT, looking to fit her for some Concrete Shoes OH DANG Tamara reverses with a Back Body Drop! 

 

Valerie: Luciano rolls right back to his feet and a Snap Spinebuster! Keeping at the legs, looking to get that crab in and Tamara kicks him away, that gives him the space he needs to line up that Butcher's Blade NO SHE DUCKS AND GETS HIS HEAD IN AN INVERTED HEADLOCK, SHE COULD BE GOING FOR A MODDY DHOO BUT HE HITS HER WITH A JAWBREAKER BEFORE SHE GETS THE CHANCE. 

 

Sherman: Scooping her up and ravages her with another Spinebuster! Oh smart, he's eyeing the distance to the ropes before trying for the Crab again, trying to pull her to the center of the ring but she won't go! She grasps onto the ropes and holds on for dear life, he switches up and lifts the legs for a brutal kick to the ribs, whips her into the corner and she lands upside down OH BUT SHE USES THAT TO HER ADVANTAGE AND ROLLS UP ONTO THE TURNBUCKLE! 

 

Ash: She's not much for high flying, but hopefully she has a plan here, and it looks like she's gonna try to pull Luciano up top with her, could we be getting a Circuitbreaker OOF he headbutts her and pulls her off with a High Angle Belly to Belly!! Going for the cover-

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO!

 

Sherman: Tamara gets the shoulder up, Luciano going back for the Crab again TAMARA REVERSES INTO A PRAWN HOLD PIN!

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! T-

 

Valerie: Luciano kicks!! They're both to their feet... DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! OH NEITHER GOES DOWN, BOTH WOBBLING, DOUBLE SUPERKICKS AGAIN AND TIMBERR NO THEY BOTH ABLE TO BARELY KEEP THEMSELVES UPRIGHT WITH THE ROPES.... TAMARA NAILS THAT THIRD SUPERKICK! SHE SAYS I'LL SEE YOUR BUTCHER'S BLADES AND RAISE YOU A TRISKELION!!!

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Tamara Rivers wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, THE CIRCUITBREAKER, TAMARA! RIIIIIIVERS!

 

Ash: Tamara lives up to her moniker and cuts the line on Luciano's streak!! This is what happens when you DON'T get run in on!! 

 

Sherman: Rivers also cuts the line on her losing streak and prepares to dig herself out of a deep hole. What a start to the W2 portion of the night. Both competitors with double vision right now, I doubt either of them really remember where they are, but Tamara just barely able to kick Luciano under the table. 

 

Valerie: And with that, we prepare to head into our next match, with Wolfie hoping his streak will fare better than Luciano's. 

 

WOLFIE VS SOLEMN GUARDIAN

 

Sheri: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!!

 

Lights go out...

 

 

Wolfie enters the arena to a mixed reaction.

 

 

Sheri: FIRST! From England, weighing in at 290 pounds and representing Path 2 Glory Wrestling... WOLFIE!!

 

Wolfie steps into the ring.

 

 

Black smoke covers the front view, with Ominous bells and ringing with the hiss of snakes the cawing of ravens and soft chanting play in the background. But no sign of Solemn Guardian yet.

 

Sheri: hesitant And...his opponent... from Huntington, West Virginia, weighing in at 190 pounds, SOLEMN GUARDIAN!!

 

The entry way remains empty...when suddenly rising up from inside the ring behind Wolfie-

 

 

The bell rings!

 

Sherman: Solemn spins Wolfie around, looking for that middle kick that'll send this right to the Precipice WOLFIE CATCHES HIM IN THE ACT! WOLF BITE URAKEN!

 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Wolfie wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner, WOLFIE!!

 

Ash: Solemn tried to sneak in on Wolfie but he was ready for him, and quickly kept his perfect record in this event alive as a result.

 

Valerie: The sneaking through the ring is a cool effect but you can't honestly expect it to be fully silent in its nature. Wolfie's animal instincts had him attuned to his surroundings and he capitalized on them well.

 

Sherman: So we go onto our next mat-

 

We cut to the back where Petey Peacock is mangled up in a giant wheel of a Penny Farthing bicycle!

 

 

The medics check up on him and he is clearly absolutely not fit for purpose. The screen goes over to DA Jones, holding the temple of her nose for a second then looking in the camera.

 

 

DA: Now y'all think you can get an easy win if you take out your opponent. We're not havin' no repeats of 2025. Petey Peacock here is not being cleared to compete, and VAUD I know damn well this is your janky-ass bike wheel, so you're hereby ejected from this event. Now since I gotta get two people steppin' in, I'm declarin' this match a tie and those points will go to whoever inherits this mess. We're doin' this right here right now. 

 

Sherri: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Sherri: And is to replace Petey Peacock!

 

Ash: So we're getting some mystery matches. Interesting.

 

 

The lights flash black, red, and white as Fly By Night comes out sporting wings and hoodies of their relative birds.

 

 

Valerie: But which one will it be? This is a one on one match!

 

Sheri: First, from Piedras Negras, Mexico, one half of Fly By Night, Phoebe Black!!

 

Phoebe hops in the ring, then jumps up to the top turnbuckle. She lowers her hood, and Mela joins her on the apron as they both flap. 

 

Sheri: And her opponent! Representing The Garden...

 

Sheri stops.

 

Sheri: It just says, representing The Garden.

 

Suddenly, Mela Myzo uppercuts Phoebe Black off the turnbuckle and throws away what was a pair of knuckles!!

 

She laughs scornfully as she enters the ring and lowers her hood.

 

 

Mela: And her opponent, representing The Garden, from Lihir Island, the former Mela Myzo who experienced a glow up and a cash flow up and is now MELA MURDER! Ring the damn bell!

 

The bell rings, Mela covers Phoebe.

 

 

Erica: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Mela Murder wins by Pinfall.

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner... Mela... Murder.

 

Sherman: And I just received word that the tie has been undone and these will be the two competitors, with Mela now notching a win over Phoebe, and that Mela will be replacing VAUD while Phoebe will be replacing Petey. Meaning Mela now enters this tournament with a 2-1 to Phoebe's 0-3.

 

Valerie: I'm starting to wonder if we've all been fooled and DA is actually the Godmother. 

 

Ash: Yikes. I hope not. Well, let's move onto our next match. 

 

TVN VS ROX STARR

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!!

 

 

TVN comes out onto the apron and points at herself, and gold medals flash behind her on the screen. 

 

 

Sheri: FIRST! Representing EM Powered, from Vinh, Vietnam, TVN!

 

TVN points at herself at her mouth is going off as if she is clearly bragging about herself.

 

Valerie: What TVN stands for in Viet translates roughly to "Best Quality", and TVN feels that fits her perfectly.

 

Sherman: She used to be so demure, I love this glow up for her. And she has every reason to have this ego, having won her way into this tournament. 

 

TVN flips the crowd off as she walks into the ring.

 

Sheri: And her opponent-

 

Rox steps out but the music hasn't started yet?

 

 

Rox turns to the back and tries to get them to signal the song.

 

 

Rox gets angry and starts to walk to the back when E.M. Powered jump her!

 

 

Deck of Hearts come out to start balancing out the crowd!

 

 

Deck provides enough runway by battling out EM Powered while the song continues, and Rox makes it to the ring, and the bell rings!

 

TVN kicks her in the stomach and gets the Antennae Up!! 

 

 

Farrah: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

TVN wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner, TVN!!!

 

Ash: That was a sneaky way to get Rox off her game. 

 

Valerie: Honestly, I respect it. We move back down to the Earth Group.

 

DANGEROUS JOHNNY DAGGER VS DAN HAMMER

 

Sheri: THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL!!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!!!

 

The word "DANGER" flashes on the screen. "D is for Dangerous" by Arctic Monkeys plays.

 

 

 Red sirens reflect throughout the room and Dangerous Johnny Dagger stands on the apron, looking down.

 

 

He stomps and pyro in the shape of a triangle forms around him. He looks up and the triangle pyro explodes outward.

 

Sheri: First! From Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina, weighing in at 202 pounds, DANGEROUS...JOHNNY...DAGGGGER!

 

He runs at a full sprint towards the ring then without breaking stride slides in. He hits the mat with his fists and lets out a scream, at which time the fans cheer.

 

Sherman: In just a few days' time Johnny went from Singles back to Tag with his brother from GHW Kevin, but now he's gotta face Dan Hammer on his own.

 

The arena goes dark and white lights flicker all around.

The sound of ear splitting thunder erupts in the arena before a barrage of pyro explodes down the entrance way.

 

 

Dan Hammer slowly makes his way out from the back. He has the GBH Fighting Championship around his waist.

 

 

He simply smirks as he soaks in the chorus of boos.
His expression turns to one of seriousness, he flexes his muscles before pausing and looking back.

The arena is plunged into darkness and a green pulsing light fills the arena, 'Killing in the Name' by Rage Against the Machine begins to play and out from the back appear the ominous figures of The Firm....in this case it's just 'Suicide Blonde' Sophie Desire.

 

 

Sheri: His opponent....hailing from Tasmania…Australia and accompanied by Sophie Desire of The Firm........standing six feet 3 inches tall and weighing 295lbs......
He is the Hobart Hammer, THE 'Thunder from Down Under'!
Ladies and gentlemen, he is The GBH Fighting Championship CHAMPION of the WOOOOOOOOORRRRRLD............
The...........‘Tasmanian Terror’...............DAN HAMMER!!

They enter the ring and all pose in the centre as Dan climbs the turnbuckle and hold up the GBH title.
He climbs back down and waits in the ring looking toward the entranceway.

 

Ash: Both of these men sporting a 1-1, one of them ostensibly will walk out of here with a Full Meatloaf. 

 

The bell rings!

 

Sherman: Dan's already got Johnny by the hair and clubbing fists to the back of his head, pulls him up and Powerslam! Takes him for an Irish Whip NO he pulls Johnny in for a Ripcord Knee Strike, and an elbow to Johnny's back. Pulling him back up and this time looking for a Wolfie Whiplash, Johnny ducks it and going for a run, Springboard and a Missile Dropkick. Hammer backed up a tad, Dagger takes a run from the other side, and going for the Jumping DDT, Hammer pulls him down for a Spinebuster! Going for a pin-

 

Lisa: ONE!

 

Valerie: Dagger with a clap to the ears, takes a run and back around, rolling thunder into an elbow drop. Continuing forward, keeping the momentum going, taking a swing on the top rope, a handstand, Springboard Moonsault and lands on Dan Hammer! He goes for the pin-

 

Lisa: ONE! T-

 

Ash: Hammer launches Dagger into the air, catches him and a running Powerslam!! Johnny is absolutely flattened.

 

Lisa: ONE!

 

Ash: Dagger gets his shoulder up. Hammer getting frustrated and double hammer fists on Dagger, repeatedly just blowing him down and scooping him up, for a bodyslam. 

 

Sherman: Dagger rolls back, off the ropes, hands-free cartwheel, into a lariat! Dagger immediately springs to the turnbuckle, to the top, waits for Dan to get up... SOMERSAULT DROPKICK!! DANGER ZONE!!! 

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Dangerous Johnny Dagger wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner, Dangerous Johnny Dagger!!

 

Ash: Hammer threw the book at him, but he was able to withstand every blow deftly, and the win was well-earned as a result.

 

Valerie: And with that we move along to the next match.

 

LUCENZA ROSSI VS DX ROYAL

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!!

 

 

Lucenza walks onto the apron under golden lights, holding a flute of champagne.

 

 

Sheri: First! Representing Zora Luthor International, from Milan, Italy, the Lap of Luxury, LUCENZA ROSSI!

 

Ash: This is going to be an immense battle of egos, and whomever wins, it's likely we'll all lose. 

 

Valerie: Lucenza's ego does in fact show up on the NORAD Maps. 

 

 

Red fire shoots up in the entrance as DX Royal walks out, a woman in each arm. 

 

 

Sheri: And her opponent! From Delhi, India, weighing in at 265 pounds, DX ROYAL!!!

 

The women lift the rope and DX steps inside. 

 

The bell rings!

 

Sherman: And DX is... trying to put the moves on Lucenza. Is he going to choose to mack his way through this one? 

 

Valerie: He vastly overstates his ability to do so, and with his two companions out there I think he's playing in dangerous waters here... oh but Lucenza seems to be taking it in. Oh, okay, she's interested...he comes in for a kiss AND SHE ROLLS HIM UP!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Lucenza Rossi wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner... LUCENZA ROSSI!

 

Sherman: That's the ol FA-FO for you there, and the two women who came with him to ringside left during the pinfall. Gonna be a lonely night for DXRoyal. 

 

Valerie: So the next match is supposed to be Marley Venus, but apparently she and Vita Mars were called elsewhere so don't know exactly what's going to happen here, but a replacement was determined behind the scenes.

 

ZEPHYR VS ?

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

Ash: When the Latin hits you know something is about to go down.

 

The lights go down save a spotlight that heads up towards the ceiling and eventually lands on Zephyr.

 

 

Zephyr puts her hands up and keeps looking up as she descends by rope to the ring.

 

Sheri: First! Fallen From The Heavens, one half of Up On High, ZEPHYR!!!

 

Zephyr lowers down into the ring and the lights flash lightning style as the ropes shoot up to the ceiling.

 

The crowd murmurs as there is an uncomfortable silence.

 

Ash: The strange thing about being at the desk is that I don't get first glimpse at this anymore. Is this the suspense I put you through?

 

Valerie: We never blamed you for it.

 

Sherman: Mostly because our announcer is Reggie Gorman so we usually blame him. 

 

A voice comes over the PA: SHE'S SUPER CU-

 

The sound fizzes and feedbacks and breaks up. In the dark silence a green XH in Greek letters flashes up on the tron.

 

 

Out steps a woman with a Blue Poofed Bob and dark-rimmed glasses. Upon brief inspection, it's clear this was once Super Cool. (The song intro helped with this.) She holds up a microphone. The boos rain down torrentially. 

 

 

Woman: And your opponent. What can I say about your opponent. Well, she's me, and I was expecting more of a hero's welcome but I can't say I'm surprised, you are fickle ingrates and honestly not fit to pledge in my house. I am from Lynchburg, Virginia where we are used to being persecuted by ignoramuses unaware and judgmental of our ways. I am pledged to what is now MAWL's only sorority in the classical sense and soon to be dominant faction here as my former and superior federation XHW comes to put this mess right, and my sorority sister Marley would normally have been fighting here, but she's had some more important business to attend to, so I will be filling in. So, that should about do it.

 

And in order for the greenhorn announcing not to screw it up, let me boil down the introduction into palatable Flintstones Vitamins so you don't choke on the information. 

 

Ash: I get the urge now that people feel to pop someone.

 

Percy: "From Lynchburg, Virginia, representing Chi Eta Sorority, the inimitable PERCY CUTE!"

 

Percy continues her walk to the ring and steps between the ropes. 

 

The bell rings!

 

Sherman: Did anyone have Conservative Christian fighting an Angel on their Bingo card? 

 

Valerie: Do people still say "Bingo Card"? 

 

Ash: Well, Percy has Zephyr's wings in her hand and she's bending back the river. Brutal mid kicks and she's trying to tear the wings off her body!

 

Sherman: She knows they latch and unlatch, right?

 

Valerie: Yes, but that's not symbolic enough. Zephyr trying to push her off and gets a double push kick to her midsection! They both stumble away from each other and down! Zephyr getting herself situated, Percy catches her and a little stank, a little spin on that Edgecution, which she calls the Persecution, and a quick pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Percy Cute wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner... Percy Cute!

 

Sherman: She ain't done with her yet... oh, she's unlatched the wings and she's strapping them on herself!

 

Percy Cute raises her arms in glory as she takes in the barrage of boos. 

 

Valerie: Percy leaving with the wings and leaving Zephyr in total dysregulation. 

 

Ash: Somehow this feels like performance art. Poetic injustice. 

 

Sherman: Wait... Percy isn't done, she blows a whistle and here comes a bunch of XH Sorority Sisters...with scissors and jackets, and they descend on Zephyr!

 

 

Percy Cute: NOW you look like you're ready to Pledge XHW. 

 

They carry Zephyr away, or who had been Zephyr and hopefully will still be. It remains to be seen.

 

Sherman: Well, I guess we...continue on.

 

ORIANA BURKHARDT VS WILDFIRE

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

A countdown can be heard - 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4 - which the crowd counts along.

 

 

An EXPLOSION around the doorway with flames shooting out as Oriana Burkhardt shouts in joy.

 

 

Sheri: First! From Morne Jaloux Ridge, Grenada...the Grenada Grenade, ORIANA BURKHARDT!

 

Oriana mimics throwing a grenade at the stage and another explosion goes off. The crowd pops.

 

Valerie: Earlier today, Oriana signed her official main roster contract, congrats to the big time. I see good things for her.

 

Oriana gets in the ring and gets the crowd pumping.

 

Arena light go out as the crowd goes silent

                  The Titantron goes all white, as the name "WildFire" is displayed on the main screen, before he makes an appearance

                  "Better than the Best!!!", "!2 out of 10 !!!", "8 stars out of 5 !!!","Simply the Greatest EVER!!!"

 

 

WildFire charges out of the crowd sliding into the ring

                  WildFire kneels in the center of the ring both arms raised

                  Fireworks Explode from the 4 ring posts as "I Wanna Rock" by Twisted Sister plays

 

Ash: And her opponent! From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 225 pounds, WILDFIRE!!!

 

Ash: I maintain that Wild would have been 2-0 had Shawn Harris not gotten involved.

 

The bell rings!

 

Sherman: Well you're not wrong, strictly speaking, but I guess we'll never know will we? Wild is a man on fire though, that laissez-fair energy has been replaced by a rageful experience and Oriana is the unfortunate one in the crosshairs just absolutely getting blasted by a combination of chops and headbutts, he goes ham on her driving her into the corner, huge Irish Whip launches her into the diagonal corner, she rebounds back but he's already airborne and that's a BOOM2!! Rolls her up...

 

Farrah: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

WildFire wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner, WILDFIRE!!

 

Sherman: WildFire gets the quick win... oh but he's not satisfied! Going under the apron... HE HAS A CROWBAR! Into the ring to take his frustrations out on Oriana-

 

 

Ash: I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY!

 

Sherman: Sure enough, Wild's wife still able to get into her old gear, I guess the kids are at Grandma's and she's stopping Wild from hitting Oriana with the crowbar. Okay, that'll calm things down. She asks him to hand her the crowbar. 

 

Valerie: Okay, I guess she's calmed him down SERAPHIM WHANGS ORIANA UPSIDE THE HEAD!! SHE WANTED TO DO IT HERSELF!! And now they're just passing the crowbar between them... I guess couples who smash together...smash after? I don't know how that works.

 

Ash: If Sheri asked I would too, but luckily she's not this kinda woman.

 

Valerie: That you're aware of.

 

Sherman: So I guess the question NOW becomes, will Seraphim become a fixture in Wild's matches going forward? What kinda horizon are we on with this? 

 

Ash: Well, what we're on the horizon of next is a collision of Jassy's past and present, as Rufus is set to take on Iris Correa.

 

IRIS CORREA VS RUFUS

 

Sherri: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

Iris Correa walks out with a swirling lollipop in her hand that she holds over her right eye.

 

 

Sheri: First! Representing Zora Luthor International and Sex Appeal, The Eye Candy, IRIS CORREA!

 

Iris struts out to boos, and stretches out on the bottom rope. She throws her jacket carelessly on the timekeeper and chuckles scornfully as she stares down Sheri.

 

 

Rufus comes out dressed in a trench coat, and tan colored overalls. A freakish hockey and gas mask hybrid. His song 'Schattenboxen' blasts over the speakers.

 

 

Sheri: And her opponent! From Berlin, Germany, weighing 97 kilos, The Psycho Extreme, RUFUS!!

 

Rufus marches to the ring rolling his neck and wrists, then tilting his head, and intimidating the crowd. He climbs onto the apron, and climbs the turnbuckle and points at fans in the crowd like he's picking his next victims.

 

Sherman: Jassy and her crew are a little delayed in coming down here. If they try now they may already be too late.

 

He jumps down from the turnbuckle. Then stands in the corner and slowly removes his hat and mask. Then in an unsuspecting twist, he slyly turns to the hard cam, while continually moving in and out of frame of the hard cam, as if he's trying to dodge its view, and shadowbox it.

 

The bell rings!

 

Valerie: Normally I'd say you're being overdramatic but Rufus already driving her down with that Spinebuster, so yeah, I think this might be an academic situation at this point. 

 

Ash: I think it should be pointed out that Rufus hasn't won a match yet. 

 

Sherman: Well you may be right but he's already got that Double Boot Scrape and Iris is gagging a bit, she might just throw this one to reduce her time in there. 

 

Valerie: And ruin her perfect record?

 

Ash: Any other era of Iris I'd agree with that, but I think this one might be more invested in her face, a face just driven into Rufus's knee with a Tresorbrecher!!

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Rufus wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner, RUFUS!!

 

Ash: It was a smart move of Rufus not to give Jassy any chance to step in.

 

Valerie: And so, merrily we roll along.

 

TYLER HAYES VS TEX MCCOY

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

A low, gritty guitar riff cuts through the arena as “Real McCoys” by Huge Medallion hits the sound system.

 

No pyro. No strobes.

 

Just sound… and intent.

 

Tex McCoy steps out onto the stage.

 

 

White cowboy hat pulled low. Broad shoulders squared. No rush in his movement—just a deliberate walk that says he knows exactly where he’s going.

 

Ash: He's finally getting the full entrance treatment. First time he jumped the rails to get into the match. Second time he traded a win for a date.

 

Tex pauses at the top of the ramp, tipping the brim of his hat once—two fingers briefly raised skyward before dropping back to his side. No showmanship. No acknowledgment of the noise.

 

Tex starts down the ramp, boots heavy against the steel, eyes never leaving the ring. Each step feels measured, grounded—like a man who learned long ago not to waste motion.

 

Sheri: First! Coming from Deadwood, South Dakota and weighing in at 245 pounds: “The Marshall” … TEX MCCOOOY!

 

Valerie: So both entrance issues were his own doing. And he lost both matches.

 

Sherman: Hopefully getting the full Texperience will do him better.

 

At ringside, Tex removes the hat slowly… respectfully… and places it on the apron.

 

He climbs the steps, steps through the ropes, and immediately tightens his wrist tape—eyes scanning the ring like he’s already mapping out exits and threats.

 

Tex settles into his corner, one hand resting on the top rope, posture calm…

 

But coiled.

 

The music fades.

 

Another piece added to the powder keg.

 

 

 Lights go out before his music hits, then the Pretender is blasted through the stadium with Yellow & Green lights floating over the crowd. When ready the lights will meet directly at the top of the crowd.

 

 

Sheri: And his opponent! From Adelaide, Australia, weighing in at 220 pounds, TYLER HAYES!!

 

Where Tyler is standing proud. He makes his way down through the crowd making sure to shake hands with anyone who wants it. He signs an autograph for a fan at the front of the barrier, jumps over the barricade and does a lap of the ring smacking the crowds hands as he comes around, he shakes hands with the commentators, slides into the ring and shakes hands with the ref and opponent.

 

Ash: A good show of trust, a good show of respect, but Tex trying to end that early with a Ripcord Elbow Strike, but Tyler reads him and ducks, back suplex!

 

The bell rings!

 

Valerie: Tyler parlays it into an armbar... Tex pushing back, ripping Tyler forward and up onto his shoulders, Ushigoroshi!! Tyler rolling to his feet, Tex taking a run and Enzuigiri OH but Tyler ducks it again and locks in a Full Nelson!

 

Sherman:  A real lather, rinse, repeat, with a dodge and submit attack pattern from Tyler, Tex trying to push to the ropes but choosing instead for a full backward charge into a turnbuckle, and sandwiches Tyler on the buckles! A series of back elbows, Tyler gets his arms around his head and Beasts of the Bodhran! 

 

Ash: These two have been able to read each other back and front! Tex pushed off from that beating, Tyler up to the middle turnbuckle, he's not normally a top rope fighter OH and that's why, McCoy pulls the rope out from Tyler, he flips down and we now have a tree of woe situation of sorts, Tex kicking at Tyler's head! 

 

Valerie: He was trying to make use of his situation, but this is just further reason to stay on the ground, locking in a Boston Crab, Tyler gets to the ropes and Tex lets go of the hold. Tyler kicks back, Irish Whip to Tex sends him away, on the rebound and Tyler with a judo arm drag, Tex holds the arm and counters with an arm drag of his own, Tyler spins the arm back and into a Kimura lock but Tex loading fists into the ribs of Tyler Hayes, gets him up into a Fireman's Carry, Tyler reverses into a Side Cradle Pin-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO!

 

Sherman: Tex rolls out of the pin, drop toe hold to Tyler and a side headlock, Tyler fighting to his feet, Tex coming up with him and an Atomic Drop, spins him around, Short-Arm Lariat! 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! TH-

 

Ash: Tyler isn't staying down! Tex getting frustrated, throwing a series of European Uppercuts, Tyler captures the arm and pulls into a Samoan Drop!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! 

 

Sherman: Tex reverses into a schoolboy-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE!

 

Ash: Tyler kicks up, Tex grabs him by the back of the neck and into the turnbuckle post! Irish whip into the diagonal corner! Tyler Hayes rebounds off the turnbuckle and Tex absolutely flips him with a clothesline!! Deadlift into a German Suplex-

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Tex McCoy wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner, TEX MCCOY!!!

 

Ash: And we'll go now to our next match with- 

 

The lights go out and when they come back on-

 

 

- Cellula is in the ring already.

 

CELLULA VS ODAIR SEMEDO

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Sheri: Already in the Ring... from Baltimora, Maryland, weighing in at 175 pounds, CELLULA!

 

 

The titan tron shows a giant O that stretches out onto the stage, at which point Odair Semedo busts out with a smile to cheers.

 

 

 

Ash: And his opponent...From Porto Novo, Cape Verde, weighing in at 271 pounds, ODAIR SEMEDO!

 

Odair comes out, high fiving the crowd. 

 

The bell rings!

 

Sherman: Odair spins around AND RIGHT INTO THE GHOST STEP SPINEBUSTER!

 

Ash: OHHHH NO.

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Cellula wins by Pinfall!

 

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner, CELLULA!

 

Valerie: Well, that was easy. And we got one more match before we go to commercial.

 

ALPHA KYLE HARRIS VS JEANNIE ROSE

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

Jeannie is backstage, and she does the Sailor Moon transformation pose.

 

 

Pink smoke fills the stage. When the smoke clears, Jeannie is on the stage in her Sailor Moon costume and does a Sailor Moon pose.

 

Sheri: First! From London, England, JEAAAAANNIE! ROSE!!!

 

Fireworks go off behind her, and she skips to the ring, climbing up onto the turnbuckle and backflipping off into the ring, doing a super hero landing.

 

 

Alpha Kyle Harris stands on the apron and does finger guns.

 

 

Sheri: AND HER OPPONENT! From Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, weighing in at 229 pounds, ALPHA KYLE HARRIS!

 

Alpha Kyle Harris walks down the ramp to boos, rolls in the ring, and shows the finger guns again.

 

The bell rings!

 

Ash: Kyle and Jeannie surrounding each other... and Oh no, look who's back.

 

 

Sherman: She's up on the apron and... oh, from this angle it looks like she's making eyes at Harris! Could she be turning her back on her husband that easily? She pulls him in for a kiss...GUILLOTINE! WHAT A FAKE OUT! AND JEANNIE ROSE ROLLS HIM UP FROM BEHIND! 

 

Farrah: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Jeannie Rose wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner... JEANNIE ROSE!

 

Valerie: She exacted her revenge on Kyle Harris, it looks like Jeannie is maybe a little less than pleased about the way she won and she's trying to talk to Sara, Sara nods understanding and starts to walk away, Jeannie going to celebrate in the ring SERAPHIM CROWBARS HER UPSIDE THE HEAD TOO! SERAPHIM STANDS TALL IN THE RING AS WE GO TO COMMERCIAL AND TRY TO FIGURE THIS ALL OUT!

 

 

Jacques: Yo it's ya boy Jacques Coolstory, and we gonna jump in even more on MAWL vs the World.

 

 

Jacques: I know my dude Jake brought some stuff up yesterday and he was gonna join ya today but he got called in to band practice, so I'm steppin' up, and we gonna jump into some of these arenas and images and what they could mean. Now this game is still in demo mode, so characters are not the amount they gonna be and we only got some of the different characters, but some o' what's happenin' here's got your boy pumped. Let's get into it.

 

 

Jacques: I started with a tag team match, wanted to get in with my guys P. Crue.... I been followin' this team before MAWL got all unified and stuff in the Waves of Pain days, and it's NUTS to me that Waves of Pain is back by the way but y'all are lookin' to sink it but whatever none of my business, but anyway did a match against their East Coast Rivals. So I got another picture of a second later when T. actually did the full middle finger, but it seemed not as friendly to post that. 

 

 

Jacques: Confession time y'all I got too into the match to get pictures of the match itself, but that's ok, cause I got some other tag matches that give us some potentially really cool information to look forward to if my sleuthin' mind is correct. But I had to give a shout out to my boys. And you better believe I hit that Krippler Krunch, and those birds came out again. Felt just like real life. But before I get to that other tag match, I wanna build up to it. So here's a cage match which was a good time.

 

 

Jacques: Some of the details here are just peak for the graphics style, like they got the stripes on Alfos down PAT, and a lot of the alt outfits are pretty sick and don't count as "other characters" which is nice. Like with Damian Blackheart you can fight with his pants or in his full Plague Doctor getup. 

 

 

Jacques: And a Front shot of that mask, which, DAMN. But now we get into the cool stuff, and also what it could mean for the game in whole. First, that other tag team match I mentioned. 

 

 

Jacques: The game is called MAWL VS THE WORLD, and here's some of that World element. Dan Hammer and Sophie Desire comin' at you against... is that SlowMo Tapout...

 

 

Jacques: And Wardy Chin? They'd been out for sometime and weren't in W2 this year, but it's cool that they got involved, even if the Boys jumped the barricade and stole the match from me, causing me to almost throw my phone. But the ring is true to form, right down to that slightly reflective ice theme. I'm impressed. And yes, you can do a W2 in this game, and I've been told that this also confirms that there's gonna be fairly regularly updates with rings and such. 

 

 

Jacques: Some more of this World business, we got Yuletide and Wolfie here in the beginnings of a Blood Mask match with barbed wire ropes. We also got the Baptized in Blood ring, and the texture on that logo feels almost real. So here's theory number 1 that I've yet to get confirmation on, that we're gonna get more of the matches from Baptized in Blood. 

 

 

Jacques: Back to the MAWL roster, we've got JP Spears putting the hurt on Lexxus OC. Two things I wanna point out here. One, the look on Lexxus' face. The show of emotions is amazing, and it seems that different people have different emotions. JP seems perfectly composed putting the hurt on her. Thing two, this is the Gung Ho International ring. The fed IS now and very recently defunct because of Waves of Pain, but the throwback is cool and here's the second thing - that means it would make sense for us to be getting Gung Ho International fighters. Which also means -

 

 

Jacques: Yep, there's the Gung Ho regular ring in its black, white, and red glory. In this, we've got Ishani and Daria Donner in their new heel personas, Jeannie Rose, a really disturbing pair of clowns in Aggie and Stitches, the face versions of Maki and Kalpana, and yooo that's Macaulay Culkin! You could show up for one or two events and potentially end up in this game.

 

 

Jacques: Bit of action in this shot, and something I enjoy in this game is when you do a really impactful move you and your opponents' souls leave their bodies. It's hard to know sometimes with a small screen like a phone when you've done something truly amazing. This was a 8-person elimination match, and I got a message after knocking Macaluay out (yes I played as Stitches, cry about it) that I unlocked him. So there's ways to unlock characters.

 

Anyway, I never thought I'd be this pumped for a cell phone game but here we are. May's gonna be LIT. 

 

 

DA Jones walks out into the hallway when her face drops to a scowl. She sees - 

 

 

Marla Anderson brusied and beaten up on an Aztec sigil. DA attempts to move her and Marla lets out a howl of pain, indicating that her legs have been broken. 

 

DA calls the medics and storms to the arena.

 

 

DA: Y'all, this is my first damn day on the job and y'all are wilin' out. Now we got Marla Anderson unable to compete, and from what I hear, Scott Razor has been chained in a boiler room by the goons from The Garden. Scott's gonna be able to come back but Marla's out and we have to once again replace someone. It's going to be a waste of my damn time to keep finding replacements, so I'm gonna make an order of succession. Actually, you're gonna earn your order of succession.

 

Here's what we're gonna do. Tonight's main event is gonna be a big one. I know y'all are sick of rumbles, and I am too. So it's gonna be a Four Suits Fatal Four Corners Gauntlet! In fact, we're going to have a number of them over the next few days.

 

 

Sherman: A what now?

 

 

Valerie: A rubber baby buggy bumper.

 

 

Ash: Yeah, normally I follow but this one has me lost.

 

DA: How it works is this. Four Suits Gauntlet, someone is eliminated , the next card in the suit comes in, right? Here, you have to eliminate both people in the team for the next suit to come in. Now, here's where it gets real crazy. The teams will be one member of the Madness and one of GHW. Both people pick randomly from a triple deck of cards. The back of the card tells you which group you're in and the front is your suit. Nobody will know who their partner is until they are called out to fight. 

 

Sherman: She's already lost it.

 

DA: NOW. Three things will be tracked. The length of time you survive the match. The number of people you eliminate. And whether you win. AND. This is ultimately an individual match, so if it's the other three suits have been wiped out, and it's just you and your partner left... you two are gonna have to duke it out.

 

The longer you survive, the closer up in the line of succession you go. The Top 10 elimination counts from GHW will earn call-ups. The top 5 eliminations from Madness and the top 5 from GHW will be going to the Four Chambers Match at Heart Condition. And the winners of this event will face off on Day 11-B, with the winner of that challenging for the Epoch Title on the Final Day.

 

And with that, we head to part 2 of our event tonight. Since Rosalina Ramos and PG-13 were not involved in the dispatching of their relevant opponents, I think it only fair that they not be disqualified and are thus declared the winners of their matches tonight. So that's the first of the Earth Group sorted and we will start with the Water Group.

 

DA leaves. 

 

Ash: That's gonna be a monstrous event to take in tonight. Let's... get it movin' I suppose.

 

MOON VS DANIEL

 

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

A colorful lightshow dances across the entrance gate. A generic wrestling video plays on the titan-tron, as Moon makes his way to the ring. Moon walks slowly through the main gate.

 

 

Sheri: First! From Pune, India, weighing in at 200 pounds... MOON!

 

He then poses on top of the turnbuckle before he heads to the center of the ring.

 

Moon's tall frame and broad shoulders cast an imposing figure. He's dressed in his Royal Moon Prince attire. The lights illuminate the golden trimming on his outfit. A fierce energy seems to emanate from him. His hair is white; and his dark eyes, alight with excitement, have fire in them.

 

Valerie: Neither Moon nor Daniel have a win notched in them so far, granted this is only Match 3 but this could a real difference maker.

 

Ash: What happens next, what we hear next, will determine Moon's likelihood of survival.

 

As Moon enters the ring he removes his royal attire and the crowd in the arena witness his impressive physique. Moon is quite handsome. His toned and tight body make a great first impression. His six pack abs and bulging biceps look very impressive.  

 

The stadium goes pitch black before an explosion bursts from the entrance. The titantron shows the Destroyer - Black Hand video as the soundtrack Revelation - L'arc en Ciel fills the arena.

 

 

Ash: Oh. Okay. Bad. Very very bad.

 

Valerie: Why two verys?

 

Ash: That.

 

 

Sheri: And his opponent! From Moultrie County, Illinois, weighing in at 284 pounds, DANIEL!!!

 

Destroyer walks among the infernal fire at a quite fast pace directly to the ring. He climbs the rope and steps over the top one, entering the ring in a dominant manner, stalking his opponent eagerly.

 

The bell rings!

 

Valerie: And Daniel's already pounced on Moon and he's just RAGDOLLING HIM! POWERBOMB AFTER POWERBOMB! BELLY TO BELLIES 4 IN A ROW! TOSSING HIM UP AND A HUGE SPINEBUSTER!! HE HOLDS MOON'S HEAD WITH A PIN-

 

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Daniel wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner... DANIEL!

 

Sherman: Sometimes, in the Battle Between Good and Evil... Evil wins.

 

 Destroyer poses his Destroyer’s Roar taunt and blows the 4 turnbuckles with purple flaming pyros.

 

Ash: It seems that in the wake of injuries taking more and more people out of this match, Moon took the fall to avoid the onslaught.

 

Destroyer looks down on Moon for a second... and decides to continue his onslaught. 

 

Valerie: Well that plan backfired. Moon is just getting absolutely DECIMATED! Wait-

 

 

Ash: WHAT IS CRYSTELLE BASSANO DOING OUT HERE??

 

Sherman: She's trying to get in between Daniel and Moon! She's putting life and limb at risk to get that mask off! Daniel pushes her away but she's able to get the mask with her and...could she be taking that power for herself? 

 

Valerie: No! This was a legit save, and she tosses the mask out of the ring. Daniel goes for it and leaves as Crystelle attends to Moon. 

 

Ash: I know she had a flame for him back in the day but I thought that died when her heart went cold.

 

Sherman: Something must have re-lit that fire, and Crystelle Bassano gets Moon up to bring him to safety.

 

Valerie: On we go.

 

RADE VS GOOD DUDE GREG ARIAS

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

Good Dude Greg Arias comes out swaying his hands back and forth to the music, which the crowd joins in.

 

 

Sheri: First! From Boise, Idaho, weighing in at 301 pounds, GOOD DUDE GREG ARIAS!!

 

Greg Arias keeps the sway going as he walks down.

 

Ash: When these two met last year Rade gave him no quarter.

 

Valerie: Either his memory is bad or he thinks he's got him beat this time.

 

Sherman: Or, Greg gonna Greg.

 

Greg switches to a one handed sway as he enters the ring.

 

The lights go completely out. The arena is filled with sounds of owls hooting and clocks ticking.

 

Ash: Hon, your mic isn't going to work for this. Don't worry, it'll be back and operating soon.

 

 

Red smiley faces show in hologram around the arena in time with the bell. Rena Terror steps out to the stage, illuminated only by the red glow in the dark mask that she removes from her face.

 

 

Her smirk is illuminated by the glow of the mask. The music has kept in the ticking of the clock and bell, not so much as a skip but as a purposely extended opening.

 

Rena: The village idiot goes everywhere with a smile. The village idiot sings and dances for the children, both those small in stature and those in mind, his insipid, unassuming little tunes, his futile and ultimately insulting promises of a brighter future where the sun will shine again and you can always try next time.

 

The village idiot walks into the forest, not even carrying a basket but still humming and whistling, unaware of the dangers that lie in the darkness, this all being rendered more idiotic by the fact that this village idiot tread these woods once before and found himself buried under the thrush and eaten by the worms and yet, unburdened by the knowledge and awareness of his own history, untethered to the gravity of his patterns Orpheus wanders once again into the dark, full of confidence and bravado that from this bitter winter upon him he will come to the other side once again seeing Spring.

 

O! But see this, Orpheus. There is no Spring in your future. I, the Persephone of this story, have embraced endless Winter. I have killed the flowers in pursuit of power, and with dark and visceral joy do I herald the oncoming hand of frost, the chilling and collecting of your blood by MY Hades, MY Totem and Terror of the Underworld, who has crossed the River Styx and travailed the Black Forest through the deepest, darkest, dampest regions of your mind, weighing on this plane 355 pounds and beyond this plane as the ever-encroaching doom and gloom that will envelop this room. He is der Blutsammler. 

 

HE. IS.

 

 

The keyboard finally kicks in and the appearances of the red smiley faces intensify rhythmically as a towering figure enters behind her.

 

Rena: RADE. 

 

Rade walks down the ramp with Ann leading him, both illuminated mostly by the glow in the dark masks.

 

Rena stands in front of Rade and stares up as if being baptized from the sky. Rade spits blood upwards and it rains on her. She smiles wickedly to the camera and leaves the ring.

 

The bell rings!

 

Sherman: And is going to be yep Arias thrust off the ropes, into the waiting hand of Rade, up we go, down we go. 7 FEET UNDER. 

 

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Rade wins by Pinfall!

 

Valerie: Did... Did Greg do WORSE than he did last year?

 

Ash: He did. Last year he was able to put up a fight and it took him getting sprayed by an outside force, which was how we first learned that Ann Lee had become his voice. This year Rade wasted no time with him. 

 

Sherman: Last year, if I remember correctly... Rade hadn't lost a match yet at this point. This year Rade started with a loss, and I think that's made him more angry and more aggressive. 

 

Valerie: Well, we're gonna keep this train a-rollin'.

 

BIG RICKY VS CASSANDRA CASH

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

Tickers show on the runners heading towards the titantron as the lights flash a low gold and green. When the 8-Bit Twinkle kicks in, Cassandra Cash rises up on the stage with money shooting at her sides and a briefcase in her hand.

 

 

Sheri: First! Representing Zora Luthor International, from Popondetta, New Guinea, DIRTY MONEY CASSANDRA CASH!!

 

Cassandra holds up her briefcase to boos as she walks down the ramp.

 

Sherman: Cassandra got a win with Lucenza's help last time, so anything can happen.

 

She enters the ring and places the briefcase down. She pulls a microphone up.

 

Cassandra: I thought I'd do something special for my amazing competitor today.

 

Cassandra mimes "Hit It" and this comes on the titan-tron, complete with picture.

 

 

Valerie: ZLI really has to stop making references to buying black people, this is getting out of hand.

 

Ash: Looks like Ricky is taking exception to it too!

 

 

Big Ricky comes BARRELING down the ramp, slides into the apron and SPEARS Cassandra! The bell rings!

 

Sherman: The full Thesz, punches and all! Ricky off, running, LOOK AT THE AIR HE'S GETTING AND SPLASH!!!

 

 

Farrah: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Big Ricky wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner, BIG RICKY!!

 

Ricky grabs a microphone.

 

Ricky: I just turned your ass to glue, BITCH. 

 

Ricky drops the microphone on her stomach and walks out to cheers.

 

Sherman: That's what I call a SQUASH match.

 

Ash: Bro.

 

Valerie: So let's move on, shall we?

 

EL SEÑOR PIKACHU VS VAIN PLATO

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

Sheri: First, from France, representing RFDC, El SEÑOR PIKAAAAACHU!!!

 

Valerie: ESP has had a blessed run here so far. First match, Tamara Rivers mocked him at her own peril. Last match, Deck of Hearts gave him a present in feeding him Scott Razor. But can the man do it on his own?

 

 

Vain Plato walks to the stage with a montage played on the Platotron5000 of Plato’s most beautiful posing moments.

 

 

Sheri: Born in Rome, Italy but residing in Las Vegas, weighing in at 260 pounds.... VAIN PLATO!

 

Plato turns his back to the crowd, the arena goes dark and a spotlight appears over him. Plato starts to muscle pose whilst holographic roses appear on the walls, but then he sniffs something off.

 

Ash: Oh no. She made the mistake.

 

Vain Plato: Beautiful.

 

Sheri: Thanks, but I am taken.

 

The bell rings but Vain doesn't hear it. 

 

Vain Plato: You DID NOT call me Beau-

 

Sherman: ESP with the O'Connor Roll!

 

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

El Señor Pikachu wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, EL SEÑOR PIKACHU!!!

 

Vain gets in Sheri's face like he wants to blame her, but Ash rises from their seat and Vain backs off. 

 

Valerie: The blessings continue for the man from RFDC. He is 3-0 now.

 

Sherman: Our next match is already all lined up with another outsider looking to continue a flawless streak.

 

SOPHIE DESIRE VS SLANG DANG

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

The arena is plunged into darkness and a green pulsing light fills the arena, 'Killing in the Name' by Rage Against the Machine begins to play and out from the back appears the voluptuous figure of Sophie Desire. 

 

 

She poses seductively at the top of the ramp, playing with her long blonde curls and blowing kisses to the crowd.

 

Sheri: First... hailing from Santa Monica, California.
Representing The Firm……..Standing 5 feet 5 inches tall and weighing in at 165lbs.
She is the ‘Suicide Blonde……… SOPHIE DESIRE!!!!!

 

 

Storm Rider steps onto the stage and just keeps moving, eyes locked firmly on the ring.

 

 

Sheri: And her opponent! From New Islington, Manchester, England, weighing in at 190 pounds, STORM RIDER!

 

Some fans cheer, some boo, but Storm Rider doesn't care as he rolls into the ring.

 

The bell rings!

 

Ash: Slang coming in quick with a pair of Mongolian Chops, Irish Whip, catching Sophie on the way back with a Back Body Drop. Storm doing what he can to keep towards the center of the ring, Sophie up and eats those long legs of Storm's Spinning Wheel Kick. Storm goes for the ankle, looking for that Reverse Achilles, Sophie boots him in the midsection.

 

Valerie: She just needs a little distance, up to her feet, pushes him back further with a Superkick, Slang tumbling back, Sophie hits a Spinning Clothesline and Slang down.

 

Sherman: Oh, he rolls to the other side of her...coming up behind and German! Another German! A third, NO Sophie able to land on her feet and shoves him into the turnbuckle, taking a run back and Senton pushes his face into the buckle, Storm officially in peril! 

 

Ash: Storm getting his bearings and Deadly Night Shade to Sophie, trying for a roll-up...

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! T-

 

Valerie: Sophie kicks out, Uranage Backbreaker to Storm, taking a run and looking for that Atomic Blonde Curb Stomp, and she comes down on nothing! Storm moves, backwards run and coming back to Chop Block the foot that would have stomped him! He quickly avoided peril and now he's got this one well in hand! 

 

Sherman: Going for that Reverse Achilles again, she manages to get her other leg up and Handstand Headscissors! She takes Storm right back to the ground! 

 

Ash: And he pops right back, Rolling Cutter! He's got her up, going for a huge Powerbomb and this could be...OH SHE CATCHES HER FEET ON THE ROPE! SPRINGBOARD TO THE TOP ROPE... CORKSCREW MOONSAULT AND RIGHT IN HIS FACE WITH THE SUICIDAL TENDENCIES!!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Sophie Desire wins by Pinfalll!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner, Suicide Blonde, SOPHIE DESIRE!

 

Valerie: She now gets to that 3-0 Space, and this is gonna be a hard tree to shake her out of.

 

Sherman: On 3-0, the next match is two people vying to obtain the very same.

 

MATT MARTIGON VS IVAN VOLKOV

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

Dark blue lighting and dark smoke building up for Martigon to slowly walk through Scott Hall/Penta Jr style.

 

 

Sheri: First! From Ottawa, Canada, weighing in at 233 pounds, The Wicked Deadly, MATT MARTIGON!!!

 

Matt occasionally stops to interact with fans at ring side but focuses mostly in the ring. 

 

 

As Viktor gestures dramatically to the entrance, a blast of icy fog rolls out from the stage. Ivan Volkov emerges through the mist, an unshakable force of nature.

 

 

Sheri: And his opponent! From Mother Russia, weighing in at 315 pounds, IVAN VOLKOV!!

 

Clad in his black trench coat with the fur-lined collar, his sheer size and presence immediately command attention. His icy blue eyes scan the crowd with contempt, and his thick, scruffy beard makes him look like a warrior stepping out of legend.

 

Volkov walks with slow, deliberate steps, his movements exuding confidence and menace. Each footstep echoes with the bass of the music, making the ground almost feel like it’s shaking beneath his weight.

 

The Walk to the Ring:
Viktor walks ahead of Ivan, pointing to the ring and shouting insults in Russian at fans in the front row. Ivan, meanwhile, remains stoic, his focus entirely on the ring. Fans boo louder as Viktor mocks them, yelling things like, "You will bow before greatness!" and, "Your champions are nothing!"

 

Ivan occasionally stops to glare down at a fan booing too loudly, smirking faintly before continuing his march.

 

In the Ring:
Viktor climbs the steel steps and holds the ropes open for Ivan, who steps over the top rope effortlessly. Once inside, Ivan shrugs off his trench coat, revealing his massive, muscular frame and black pants with red and silver accents. Viktor picks up the coat, folds it neatly, and places it in the corner of the ring, as if preparing for battle with military precision.

 

Ivan strides to the center of the ring, raising one massive arm in the air as icy blue spotlights shine on him, and pyro in the shape of a jagged "V" explodes behind him.

 

Viktor’s Final Words:
Grabbing the microphone again, Viktor steps beside Ivan and delivers his final verbal blow to the opponent waiting in the ring.
"You see this man? He is not here to compete. He is here to annihilate! Say your prayers, because the Siberian Titan...has arrived!"

 

Ivan cracks his knuckles, glares at Matt Martigon, and takes his corner with an unsettling calm, ready to unleash destruction.

 

The bell rings!

 

Valerie: Ivan comes charging in, wasting no time, with a gigantic shoulder tackle!  Matt stumbling back, and Ivan keeping on top of him and a stomping out, just really brutalizing Matt. Matt grabbing at the hands of Ivan and just snaps that right arm back! Yanking up, and throwing knees into the ribs of Ivan, judo arm flip, and into a DDT!

 

Sherman: Ivan finally has a balance for his brutality! Matt grabs the arm again, and kicking at the face of Ivan... Ivan takes a free arm and grabs Matt's leg, and a quick flick o' the wrist makes for a dragon leg whip! Ivan back to his feet and keeping the leg, lifting it up almost getting Matt vertical and Knee Smash into the Mat! 

 

Ash: That'll break bones in several places if you're not careful, but Matt refusing to show any sign of pain. Ivan scoops him up and one-arm backbreaker! It's amazing that he can keep his face flat! Ivan picking him back up and going for it again OH BUT MATT GETS HIS ARM AROUND IVAN'S HEAD AND A DDT!! 

 

Valerie: Matt scooping him up, Fallaway Slam! Going for an ankle lock, does he really think he's going to make Ivan submit?

 

Sherman: Not gonna stop him from trying and ohh that is a rough way for that to bend! Ivan loads his other leg back and a brutalizing boot cracking the ribs of Matt, Ivan picking Matt up for a Spinebuster OH MATT LOADING FISTS INTO THE SIDE OF IVAN'S HEAD, IVAN LETS GO AND MATT TRYING TO MANEUVER INTO THAT TRIANGLE... IVAN CHARGES HIM BACK INTO THE CORNER! GOING FOR A RUN, MATT BOOTS HIM IN THE FACE!! 

 

Ash: These two just giving everything to each other! Matt taking a run now and blasting Ivan with a European Uppercut, another, a third.... going for the elevated DDT and Viktor grabs the leg! Ivan falls on top of Matt-

 

Farrah: ONE! TWO!

 

Valerie: Matt breaks the pin, Carter sees Viktor and giving him a mouthful, Matt pulls from his pocket and BRASS KNUCKLES TO THE BACK OF IVAN'S HEAD! Throws the knucks and a pin-

 

Farrah: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Matt Martigon wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, THE WICKED DEADLY, MATT MARTIGON!!!

 

Sherman: So it'll be Matt who keeps the undefeated streak. Ivan's gonna have a sore head and a chip on his shoulder. Matt will need to watch his back.

 

Ash: And with that we are down to our final matches in each group before this insane experiment. 

 

YULETIDE VS WONDERWOLF

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

Snow falls on the Finland Arena. Yuletide walks out holding his big bag of gifts, with a jolly but determined look in his eyes.

 

 

Sheri: First! From North Pole, Alaska, weighing in at 220 pounds, YULETIDE!

 

Yuletide makes sure to greet any children along the barricades as he walks down the ramp, then enters the ring to cheers.

 

Valerie: It remains to be seen whether Wonderwolf is on the Naughty or Nice list.

 

 

 Arena Lights go out, while heavy fog starts filling the entrance ramp, Wonderwolf's logo flashes over the screen, and an introductory video starts playing, as Wonderwolf makes his way to the ring with his entrance music.

 

 

Sheri: And his opponent! From Amsterdam, Netherlands, weighing at 200 pounds, WONDERWOLF!

 

The light go out and a spotlight hits the center of the ring where Wonderwolf starts howling.

 

The bell rings!

 

The crowd continues howling, and Wonderwolf howls back...

 

Sherman: Yuletide shakes the ropes! Wonder meets buckle... Yule grabs him on the buckle, Muscle Buster!! We don't see that too often. 

 

Valerie: Yule on the ropes now...waits it out...Wonder down!! SHOOTING STAR DDT!!! SLEIGH RIDE!!!

 

Lisa: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Yuletide wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner... YULETIDE!!

 

Ash: A little too long of a celebration, and Yule capitalized on it.

 

Sherman: The training Yule has been doing has been paying off. 

 

Valerie: Much quicker on the uptake, much more focused. And with that we will move on.

 

SLANG DANG VS STING RAY STEVE THUNDER

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

Slang Dang walks out of the gate hyping up the crowd, he taps the left wrist with his right hand. When he is done, he points to the ring and smirks, and an “X” pyro explode from turnbuckle to turnbuckle.

 

 

Sheri: First! From The Dog House, weighing in at 180 pounds, SLANG DANG!

 

He walks to the ring clapping the hands to his fans.

 

 

Sure enough the crowd goes NUTS. They chant “THUNDER” in time to the bass drums during which the lights in time briefly flash white to mimic the energy of a thunderstorm.

 

The main riff comes in lightning bolts erupt around the arena. Steve comes running out, and throws the horns to the left of the crowd, igniting a brief pillar of flame.

 

 

He runs to the right of the stage and gives the horns to that side of the crowd, igniting a brief pillar of flame.

 

Valerie: There's something to be said for comebacks, and he's a man known for his comebacks.

 

Ash: AND HIS OPPONENT!!!! FROM SLAUGHTER BEACH, DELAWARE, WEIGHING IN AT 203 POUNDS, THE 2024 W2 CHAMPION.... STING! RAY! STEEEEEEEEVE! THUUUUUUUUUNDER!

 

He comes charging down the ramp, high fiving anyone he can. He runs around the ring and all the way back to the other side of the ramp continuing this high five. Back in the center of the ramp he lets out a hell yeah scream and sprints full force to the ring, springboarding himself and flipping over the apron, throwing a final set of horns and then whipping off the trenchcoat dramatically in preparation for the fight.

 

Steve offers a handshake, Slang takes it and the crowd cheers before Jenny separates them.

 

The bell rings!

 

Sherman: Slang running in with a Spinning Wheel Kick, and takes Steve Thunder off stable footing... Slang blasting Steve with Mongolian chops, whip to Steve, blasts Steve with a Dropkick! 

 

Ash: What a rush! 

 

Valerie: Sting to his feet, Slang ready for him with another dropkick! Pulling him to the center of the ring, looking for an ankle lock but Steve with a kangaroo kick pushing Slang back! Spinaroony to his feet.

 

Ash: He's been doing a lot of training since his losing streak at Path, and Slang cut him off at the pass, but gives Steve the opening and we may well see that training in action as Steve spins Slang around for a tilt-a-whirl headscissors!! Steve going for the Kimura Arm lock, pulling Slang away from the ropes, really putting the hurt on him.

 

Sherman: Slang's starting to get pulled underwater!

 

Valerie: Slang gets control of the rest of his body, and swings around for a DDT with his free arm! He might have dislocated his arm in the process though! Slang looks like he's hurting a little!

 

Ash: Steve getting to his feet, Slang coming for a run and DDT NO Steve back body drops him! Steve running perpendicular, and a deafening Corkscrew Splash! Keeps himself there and back into the Kimura!! 

 

Sherman: That arm is gonna be a noodle, but the thing about dislocating it is that it's easier this time to swing the rest of his body around! DDT again! Taking a quick run up to the turnbuckle and going for the 450!

 

Ash: Thunder moves!! Slang eats air! And Thunder takes the arm, arm-trapped enzuigiri!! Thunder to the top... waiting on Slang... SHOOTING STAR CUTTER!!! VENOM SPIKE ENGAGED!!!

 

Classic Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Sting Ray Steve Thunder wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner, Sting Ray Steve Thunder!! 

 

Thunder raises his arms in excitement, then runs up the turnbuckle to do a backflip. 

 

Valerie: Thunder helping Slang up by his good arm and a little bro-hug of respect. Love to see it.

 

Sherman: Two more matches before this all gets insane.

 

Valerie: Although to be fair this next one, given how things have been going, may well be academic.

 

LYNX VS DAMIAN BLACKHEART

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

Fog machine, candles and 18th century street lamps adorn the entrance way. Titantron/screen shows images of leeches, pre-20th century surgery, anatomical drawings, plus short video clips of Blackheart performing submission moves and ringing a hand bell in full plague doctor uniform.

 

 

Sheri: First! From the Silk Road, London, weighing 228 pounds, one half of Spirit Crusher...the Empiric, Damian Blackheart!! 

 

Damian puffs his pipe as he walks down to the ring. 

 

Ash: Damian is two for two. Lynx is going to be in for a world of hurt.

 

 

The audience sings along as Lynx walks out getting the crowd pumped. 

 

 

Sheri: AND HIS OPPONENT! From the Bialowieza Forest, Poland, weighing in at 205 pounds, LYNX!!

 

Lynx runs to the ring and flips in! The bell rings! 

 

Ash: Damian has Lynx by the wrist and pulls him in... Exploder Suplex! Lynx quickly rolls to his feet, Damian wants to wrap this up, Scalpel Kick NO LYNX JUMPS IT, TURNS AROUND WITH A JUMPING SPIN KICK OF HIS OWN! Lands, into a roll, back around and kips up into a Dropsault!

 

Valerie: We are seeing a lot of people trying to change their fortunes today, Damian cuts this one off at the pass though and meets Lynx's landing with a snap Uranage.

 

Sherman: Blackheart locks in the Fujiwara and trying to take Lynx out of the equation, Lynx flips out of it and arm wringer flip to Damian! We are seeing a newly invigorated Lynx, coming off the ropes, tornado DDT and lands on his feet, a little trampoline action and spin kick OH NO DAMIAN CATCHES HIM INTO A BACKBREAKER and he's stretching out the back, trying to put the torture to Lynx but Lynx refusing to go down or give up and bends himself back on Damian's knee into a backflip, front dropkick! 

 

Ash: The amount of pure awareness of your own body and the space it inhabits is just incredible. Lynx is clearly sore, but Damian is thrown by the amount of difficulty Lynx is giving him, but that ends now with a Rolling Cutter! Damian preparing himself, doing the measurements, working out the calculations, Lynx to his feet, and jump! Knees up elbows down and Lynx...

 

is not in the equation! He moved almost out of pure instinct and Damian's joints collide with each other!! Lynx already running, and somersault into the Fame Asser! HYPERLYNX!!! 

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Sherman: LYNX ACTUALLY DID IT!!!

 

Lynx wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: Here is your winner! LYNX!!!

 

Valerie: Damian went for the Tabula Rasa and only erased himself from this match! And a perfect read on the moment by Lynx, ending his cold streak and Damian's hot streak in one go. 

 

Ash: One more match for the W2 tonight, and then this... Tag Gauntlet? Ay-ay-ay. 

 

Sherman: Both of these men NEED this win to make their journey not entirely perilous going forward. Realistically, more than 5 losses more often than not would prevent you from a Top 4 berth. 

 

DANTE RIVERA VS TREVOR DEMARTIN

 

Sheri: The following contest is scheduled for One Fall!

 

Crowd: ONE FALL!

 

 

Trevor DeMartin steps out grimacing.

 

 

Sheri: FIRST! From Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada, weighing in at 245 pounds, representing Riot Block, the Surliest Man in Saskatoon, Trevor DeMartin!

 

Trevor stomps down the ramp threatening occasionally to backhand a fan.

 

Valerie: Even angrier than last time. If he loses this match I think he's gonna have an ulcer.

 

 

A burning X fills the Titan tron as Start The Shooting by A Day To Remember starts blasting. Dante steps out menacingly, like a bandit looking for trouble.

 

 

Sheri: And his opponent! From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 205 pounds, one half of X-Treme Society, DANTE RIVERA!!! 

 

He stops at the top of the ramp as the Titan tron starts displaying ‘Watch your step’ in burning letters as the chorus plays. As Dante walks down the ramp, pyro goes off on either side of the ramp with each step. After a few he stomps triggering the stage to fill with fire. 

 

Ash: Dante seeking to show the version of him that we saw win the Pentacles Match, but he'd been a bit off his game. 

 

He walks down the ramp and to the ring, jumping onto the apron and climbing through the ropes. He stands in the center of the ring, slowly removing his shades from his face. He eyes fixed on the camera (or opponent). He tosses the shades to the side and stomps hard onto the mat, setting off flames on all four corners of the ring.

 

The bell rings!

 

Valerie: Trevor going for punch on punch and Dante blocking each shot, and now here he comes with a flurry of punches of his own, taking him off his footing and a bunch of mid kicks, Irish Whip and catching him out with a JUMPING STUNNER! AMBOYYYY SPECIAL!!!

 

Farrah: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Dante Rivera wins by Pinfall!

 

 

Sheri: HERE IS YOUR WINNER! DAAAAANTE RIVERA!!!

 

Sherman: Dante digs himself out of a hole! 

 

Valerie: And with that, we're now gonna turn it over to this WILD main event setup, and see if watching it will give us more of an understanding of what's happening.

 

 

FATAL FOUR SUITS GAUNTLET

 

Sheri: The following is first of the the Fatal Four Suits Tag Team Gauntlet Series! A member of Madness and a member of GHW will be teamed up at random through the draw of cards. Once one team is eliminated in its entirety, the next team in that suit will enter! The match will end when all but one suit is completely cleared out, and if both team members survive they will engage in a final one on one battle. As Madness is the show hosting, the Madness star will be the one providing entrance music for the team. 

 

GAUNTLET 1

 

Sheri: First, the team that drew the 2 of Clubs!

 

 

Sheri: Representing MAWL, Paragon! Representing GHW, one half of Order Up, Dottie!

 

 

Dottie offers Paragon an egg from her pan as they walk down. They both enjoy the egg when entering the ring.

 

Ash: If you'd asked me four months ago, I'd say teaming with Paragon is perilous, but she seems to have re-found herself. Just needed to shed the bird I guess.

 

Sheri: The team that drew the 2 of Diamonds!

 

 

Sheri: Representing MAWL, one half of Intergalactic, Astra! Representing GHW, Cool Runnings Carl Roberts!

 

 

They run down the ramp, each high fiving one side of the front row, then slide in together.

 

Sherman: Astra was set to join the roster over at Aztec Pro, but she is back here and ready to go.

 

Ash: Being announced as one half of Intergalactic again makes my heart happy.

 

Sheri: The team that drew the 2 of Hearts!

 

 

Sheri: Representing MAWL and Kruel, Kimi Kruel! Representing GHW, Connor Varney!

 

 

Kimi pointedly ignores Connor talking on her phone. Connor shrugs and walks down ahead of her.

 

Valerie: I feel like we're gonna hear that Kruel theme a LOT. 

 

Ash: This is the first team I really don't know how they plan on collaborating.

 

Sheri: And! The team that drew the 2 of Spades!

 

 

Sheri: Representing MAWL and Psycho Supremacy, Lustress Jamie!! Representing GHW, one half of Up On High, the Harsh Truth, Angelica!!

 

 

Both walk down, one with confidence and the other with determination.

 

Valerie: Both of these women know what it's like to fear for someone you consider a sister. Maybe that connection will help them in this endeavor. 

 

The bell rings!

 

Sherman: The GHW crowd are the ones to start the action, which would seem unfair except it's a good way for them to show they deserve the call-up. Roberts with some quick punches to Dottie and tagging Astra in, Varney with a quick lariat on Angelica who is understandably distracted and Dottie takes advantage of that to get that frying pan across her face!

 

Valerie: Guess we're trading partners here and Varney yanks Astra up....Spinning High Angle Uranage!! He just read her her TOD! 

 

Crowd: CALL IT!

 

Ash: That could be a quick wrap on Astra as he covers!!

 

Carter Vale: ONE! TWO!

 

Sherman: Astra finds a way to reverse the pin!!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Connor Varney is eliminated by Astra! (1)

 

Kimi Kruel enters the match.

 

Valerie: Oh good she's finally off her phone. And Connor was clocked at 24 seconds. Not an auspicious match for him. Kimi gets pushed right into the corner, Angelica pulls her up and coming up with her... TRUTH BOMB DROPPED!! And she's not the only one, Astra whipping Dottie to the corner, and pulling HER up... locking her head in a bulldog and nailing her variation on an Avalanche Spanish Fly!!! Canis Major Overdensity!!! Angelica trying for the pin first-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO!

 

Sherman: Kimi kicks up. But Astra trying it with Dottie-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Dottie is eliminated by Astra! (2)

 

Paragon enters the match.

 

Valerie: Now the rules of this state a team has to be entirely eliminated before being replaced, so both Kimi and Paragon are on their own here. But Paragon says NO PROBLEM and hits Astra with the Paragon Shift!! Which is just another name for the Paradigm Shift and no less brutal when she does it!! But Angelica beat her to the pin attempt and already had Kimi covered with a bridging fisherman suplex-wait-

 

 

Sherman: ZEPHYR JUST PULLED THE LEG OF ANGELICA!!! She just turned the tide in favor of Kimi!!! And she did it in her XH sweater!!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Angelica is eliminated by Kimi Kruel! (1)

 

Lustress Jamie enters the match.

 

Ash: Paragon waited patiently for the cover and here comes Carter-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO!

 

Sherman: Astra reverses it again!! That delay cost precious seconds to Paragon-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Paragon is eliminated by Astra! (3) 2 of Clubs is out!

 

Valerie: The quick thinking by Astra and the queued pin make for our first new draw!

 

 

Sherman: Cuttle with two quick chops to Jamie and immediately tags Nicole in. 

 

Valerie: Coward.

 

Ash: And Astra takes Kimi to the sky with ANOTHER Major Canis Overdensity!!! The cover-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Kimi Kruel is eliminated by Astra! (4) 2 of Hearts is out!

 

Sherman: Astra cleans out ANOTHER team! Let's see what's coming our way...

 

 

Sherman: What is this, another special episode?

 

Valerie: Jamie tries for a boot on Astra, she ducks and sweep roundhouse! Odeon taking a run, what's she cooking up?

 

Crowd: DO A BARREL ROLL!

 

Ash: Rolling Thunder.... FLATLINER TAKES FIRE MARSHALL RUTH TO THE GROUND, AND HERE COMES THAT SHOOTING STAR TO COMPLETE THE STARFOX!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Fire Marshall Ruth is eliminated by Nicole Odeon! (1)

 

Melissa Joan Hart enters the match.

 

Sherman: Nicole Odeon and Lustress Jamie with a double inverted suplex to Astra, will they finally get rid of her? Double cover-

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Valerie: Shoulder up! Astra punches at Jamie, Odeon gets Hart with a Leg Lariat then continues the run and neckbreaker to Jamie. Guess that alliance was short lived.

 

Sherman: At the end of the day, it's everyone for themselves. 

 

Ash: Odeon tags in Cuttle, Astra tags in Roberts, Roberts with a running knee to Cuttle, Hart keeps Jamie on the ground with an elbow drop. Jamie rolls to her feet, and trips Roberts in the process! Cuttle swings Hart around and Sidewalk Slam! Going for a pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO!

 

Sherman: Hart kicks, Jamie pulls Cuttle up from the attempt and German Suplex! Runnings ready for Jamie and blasts her with a Shotgun Dropkick then quickly tags out, here comes Hart and gets Fisher up in an End of Hartache!! Looking for the quick cover-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Fisher Cuttle is eliminated by Melissa Joan Hart! (1)

 

Nicole Odeon enters the match.

 

Valerie: So far none of GHW have any eliminations and there's only one GHW rep standing in the ring! Come on guys you're makin' us look bad!

 

Ash: Hart up from the pin into a jawbreaker on Roberts, Lustress Jamie smashes Nicole Odeon with a chair!!! Going for the pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Nicole Odeon is eliminated by Lustress Jamie! (1) 3 of Clubs is out!

 

Sherman: We're about to get our first mystery hire for GHW, apparently Leila and Baz went on a signing spree as people started moving up. 

 

 

Valerie: Apparently Sagnar is an MMA fighter from Myanmar, and her roundhouses have put people in traction.

 

Sherman: OH! AND we have Parker Johnson of Velvet Voltage making his in-ring debut which is exciting as hell. 

 

Ash: Sagnar to start, as is custom. Melissa and Jamie with a double Irish Whip to Carl Roberts, Roberts picks up speed on the rebound and takes them both down with a lariat! Don't make a speedster run, it never works out for you. Hart crawls over and punch to Jamie's throat, going for the pin as Sagnar with a Double Windmill Kick at lightning force speed to the head of Carl Roberts!! 

 

Valerie: Jamie kicks easy but Carl is down for the count!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Cool Runnings Carl Roberts is eliminated by Sagnar! (1)

 

Astra enters the match.

 

Sherman: Sagnar notches the first fall by a GHW personnel. And she's not done! Double Windmill to Astra!! Double Windmill to Melissa Joan Hart!! She's making an early show of dominance right here and now!! Going for a double pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO!

 

Valerie: Melissa Joan Hart slips out, Astra does not!!

 

Carter: THREE!

 

Astra is eliminated by Sagnar! (2) 2 of Diamonds is out!

 

Sherman: Melissa stops Sagnar from getting up with a Prawn Hold!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Sagnar is eliminated by Melissa Joan Hart! (2)

 

Parker Johnson enters the match.

 

 

Sherman: Cisco has been tormenting X-Treme Society on and off for months, but the front office basically told him it's time to get in the ring if you're gonna be here.

 

Ash: Morris Marks in the ring and stands back a moment as Lustress blasts Parker Johnson and Melissa Joan Hart with a chair!! Going for the double pin-

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Valerie: Parker gets his shoulder up, Hart does not!!

 

Carter: TWO! THREE!

 

Melissa Joan Hart is eliminated by Lustress Jamie! (2) 3 of Hearts is out!

 

 

Sherman: At least this team makes a moderate amount of sense, with the Frenchman from France and the French Speaker from Cameroon.

 

Valerie: Mint Condition wastes no time hitting Le Joueur with his Inverted Angle Slam, the Gold Card!! Lustress Jamie hits Parker Johnson with an exploder suplex that shakes the ring as Marks goes for the pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO!

 

Ash: Le Joueur gets his shoulder up. That would have been a quick end for him. Johnson bends Marks' corner with a roundhouse kick, and this gives Le Joueur room to get up...big bulldog to Jamie Harrison. Trading dance partners again, Johnson hits Le Joueur with a blistering Huracanrana... Marks hits Jamie with the Gold Card! Johnson in a pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Le Joueur is eliminated by Parker Johnson! (1)

 

Marion Bartoli enters the match.

 

Valerie: And Marks looking to wrap up Jamie's night as well...

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Lustress Jamie is eliminated by Mint Condition Morris Marks! (1) 2 of Spades is out!

 

Ash: Jamie was the last of the originals for this match, and now she exits with a 5:22 survival time, which may be difficult to get above the way this action is going.

 

 

Valerie: What an unfortunate team-up for Alyson.

 

Sherman: Agreed. They should have made an exception to the "GHW Starts" or at the very least stapled Vile's shirt to his shorts to avoid any voyeuristic whackin'. 

 

Ash: I would not tag those hands for sure. And Alyson taking her frustration out on Marks using her chain as a whip, choking him out now with it in a modified Surfboard! It's no DQ, this is allowed! 

 

Valerie: Parker blasts Bartoli with an enzuigiri as Carter checks on Morris Marks, Cisco in with an elbow shot to Alyson to break the hold! Morris's eyes were bulging out of his head!

 

Sherman: Alyson getting in the face of Cisco, she just left her Chain unattended! Marks goes to whip Johnson with it... Johnson catches the other end! They look at each other, look at Marion, look at each other... stereo chain whips to Marion Bartoli!! Finishing off with a stereo boot and shared pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO!

 

Valerie: Marion barely able to get the shoulder up, Parker and Marks look at each other PARKER DEEP DISHES MARKS WITH THAT SPIN KICK TO THE HEAD! Marion getting some punches in on Chainz as Parker goes for the pin-Marks gets his shoulder up before one, to his feet and GOLD CARD TO PARKER!! A SECOND ONE!!!

 

Ash: Chainz gets a pair of fists to Marion as Marks goes for the pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Parker Johnson is eliminated by Mint Condition Morris Marks! (2) 4 of Clubs is out!

 

 

Valerie: Continuing the bad 80s movie tropes from woman and creeper to cheerleader and everyman. Literally this Armenian's tag team translates to the Everymen.

 

Ash: As Mint tags in Cisco, Chainz shows her disdain for the Everyman...chain-assisted Cutter! Going for the quick pin-

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Sherman: Randi to the rescue and kicks her off! Wait, Randi just pushed him right into the arms of Chainz and she does it again!!! What the hell!!! Cisco and Marion trading blows as Chainz takes advantage of Gor's partner's betrayal...

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Gor Badalian is eliminated by Alyson Chainz! (1)

 

Randi Rah-Rah enters the match.

 

Valerie: The crowd raining down boos, not sure what Randi expected, and she slaps Chainz! Cisco drops Marion with a boot... Standing Moonsault!! Cisco heads to the corner as Randi hits a handspring cartwheel headscissors driver to Chainz!! She goes for the pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Alyson Chainz is eliminated by Randi Rah-Rah! (1)

 

Utterly Vile enters the match.

 

Ash: Well at least she gets away from Vile CISCO BLASTS MARION WITH THE OSOK!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Marion Bartoli is eliminated by Cisco! (1) 4 of Hearts is out!

 

Sherman: Cisco gets his first in-ring elimination as we prepare for the 5 of Hearts team.

 

 

Ash: So I'm guessing that song is now the official theme of the Chi Eta Sorority, part of XHW's takeover. I'm further guessing it's going to be awkward for Cisco to be on a different team than someone else in his takeover.

 

Connie pulls out a microphone.

 

Connie: Funny you should mention that. I have this special dispensation that will allow myself and Cisco to team together, meaning little Nourdy here is gonna have to go with Morris Marks. Perks of being a travel agent.

 

Sherman: Can she do that??

 

Valerie: What a power play. Well, it looks like Mmadi and Marks will be teaming together under the Hearts Banner now, and Connie inserted herself into Diamonds. This part of the match looks the same regardless, with Nourdine going to have been in the ring to start either way. 

 

Ash: And Cisco has both Randi and Vile up...DOUBLE SUPLEX! Going for a double pin-Randi kicks and Vile reverses! 

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Sherman: Cisco kicks out. Probably bit off more than he could chew there. Nourdine stomps Cisco, UTTERLY VILE SMASHES RANDI IN THE FACE WITH HIS CAMERA!! Going for a pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Randi Rah-Rah is eliminated by Utterly Vile! (1) 5 of Clubs is out!

 

Ash: Randi tried once again to be sneaky and it did not work out for her.

 

 

Ash: Chocolate Reign steps in the ring, as Vile kicks Nourdine in the dick. 

 

Sherman: Really taking after his mentor there. Chocolate and Cisco take advantage of this with a Double DDT, and go for the pin on Nourdine-Nourdine gets the shoulder up easily.

 

Valerie: Cisco rolling back to the corner, Chocolate to his feet and EATS THE OSOK!! Quick cover-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Chocolate Reign is eliminated by Cisco! (2)

 

Kolossus enters the match.

 

Sherman: That Chocolate Reign was fun-sized. But now they have to contend with Kolossus. Nourdine picks Cisco up for his Inverted White Noise, the Blackout... KOLOSSUS PICKS THEM BOTH UP AND GIVES NOURDINE A MUCH LARGER PLATFORM TO PULL THIS OFF... EFFECTIVELY AN AVALANCHE BLACKOUT!!! They share the pin attempt-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Cisco is eliminated by Nourdine Mmadi (1) and Kolossus (1)!

 

Connie Colt enters the match.

 

Valerie: Connie Colt may have miscalculated her play here and now she's going up against the man who would have been her tag partner. And sure enough, she immediately eats a Blackout! Nourdine goes for the pin while Kolossus pushes Vile back with her foot.

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Connie Colt is eliminated by Nourdine Mmadi! (2) 3 of Diamonds is out!

 

Ash: That backfired on Connie SPECTACULARLY and now Nourdine has a full team while hers is getting replaced. 

 

 

Sherman: Bowen is no stranger to working with strong women and Calabria Valentino definitely fits that bill. But the size of Kolossus offers a huge advantage as she launches both Calabria and Nourdine with simultaneous flapjacks! Calabria with no fear as she punches back at Kolossus, but Vile takes the opportunity to hit a moonsault knee drop on Nourdine and goes for the pin! Nourdine kicks easily.

 

Valerie: Kolossus boots Calabria all the way back, Vile gets Nourdine in a one-arm sleeperhold OH AND HE'S HOLDING NOURDINE'S EYELIDS OPEN WITH THE OTHER HAND! IT'S THE I'M WATCHING YOU SLEEP!! But Mint Condition saves his partner and officially overtakes Jamie's ring time record!!!

 

Ash: Vile donks Nourdine and Calabria's heads together! He is undeterred. Nourdine decides to say forget Vile and go to Calabria, OH and Kolossus offers him the Avalanche lift again!! These two have been the best teamworkers so far and they're on opposing teams! AVALANCHE BLACKOUT TO CALABRIA!!! Double pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Calabria Valentino is eliminated by Kolossus (2) and Nourdine Mmadi (3)!

 

Bowen Baneclaw enters the match.

 

Sherman: Bowen with a stiff punch to Kolossus! A stiff punch to Vile! And saving the biggest one for Nourdine with his Electric Chair Driver!!! Vile gets tossed by Kolossus, he gets sent straight out of the ring as Bowen goes for the pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Nourdine Mmadi is eliminated by Bowen Baneclaw! (1)

 

Mint Condition Morris Marks enters the match.

 

Valerie: Bowen shoulder rushes Kolossus as Vile back in with a pipe and right to the kneecaps of Marks! Now he takes the pipe to the head and BOWEN ELECTRIC CHAIR DRIVER TO KOLOSSUS!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Kolossus is eliminated by Bowen Baneclaw! (2) 6 of Clubs is out!

 

 

Sherman: Purrcival Jr. has his cat right by ringside, I don't know if I'd trust Neon Juan with that cat. He likes his P-

 

Valerie: ANYWAY, Purrcival Jr hits a Running Huracanrana on Morris Marks as Vile hits a knee shot to the face of Bowen. Purrcival with the pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Mint Condition Morris Marks is eliminated by Purrcival Jr! (1) 5 of Hearts is out!

 

Ash: Aww, Purrcival Sr is purring, I think he liked that.

 

 

Sherman: Purrcival Jr meets Countess with a running knee, Bowen with an elbow shot to Vile. Countess grabs Jr by the throat and throws him at Bowen! Bowen takes Jr and throws him at Vile, sending Jr and Vile tumbling outside!

 

Purrcival Sr: MEOW!

 

Valerie: Countess tags Kati in. Vile drags Purrcival Jr into the ring and tries to roll him up, as Kati Kruel hits the Homewrecking Ball Package Piledriver on Bowen! Purrcival reverses the roll-up but Vile kicks before 1, and Kruel with Bowen in a pin predicament-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Bowen Baneclaw is eliminated by Kati Kruel! (1) 4 of Diamonds is out!

 

 

Sherman: Countess with an eye rake to Vile, Purrcival charges Chronosome and gets lifted ALL the way up!!! A Gorilla Press from 7 foot 3!!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Purrcival Jr is eliminated by Chronosome! (1)

 

Purrcival Sr: HISSSS

 

Neon Juan Guyverno enters the match.

 

Ash: Neon coming up through the top rope, Somersault Knee Strike!! KNEE-ON TO CHRONOSOME!! Looking to avenge his partner!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Chronosome is eliminated by Neon Juan Guyverno! (1)

 

Brian Storm enters.

 

Valerie: Storm in like a shot, tornado DDT to Vile... Countess has that Claw locked in on Juan! Juan struggling but grabs her arm...tries for the pin... Countess kicks before 1 and takes a pair of claws across his face. Oh I think she drew blood!

 

Sherman: Neon Juan rolls out. Countess locks up with Vile, Neon back up and Corkscrew Tornillo takes them both out! Double cover-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! 

 

Ash: Vile gets his shoulder up, Countess can't!

 

Carter: THREE!

 

Countess is eliminated by Neon Juan Guyverno! (2)

 

Kati Kruel enters the match.

 

Valerie: Kati with a running single leg dropkick to Vile, Neon Juan has Brian up in a Northern Lights Driver! A second! AND A THIRD! NEON LIGHTS!!! 

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! TH-

 

Ash: BRIAN STORM ROLLS HIM UP!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Neon Juan Guyverno is eliminated by Brian Storm! (1) 7 of Clubs is out!

 

 

Sherman: This is not the original Kiki Kruel, Maki is still Maki. Metal guitarist Kiki Wong has taken the spot, and was very clear that she was going to have her own theme.

 

Ash: Brian headbutts Vile, Horton lifts Kati Kruel up, taking a Walk with her and Spinebuster Backbreaker! Walk of Fame!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Kati Kruel is eliminated by Handsome Hank Horton! (1) 6 of Hearts is out!

 

 

Valerie: Passionate Caleb Prince with a Spinning Flatliner on Brian Storm!! BAD TRIP!!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE! 

 

Brian Storm is eliminated by Passionate Caleb Prince! (1)

 

 

Ash: PCP takes Horton down with the neckbreaker. Nata charges in and the Queen's Crown Running Headbutt to Vile!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Utterly Vile is eliminated by Nata the Nasty! (1)

 

Sherman: Utterly ALMOST made 10 minutes. 

 

 

Valerie: Horton tags in Kiki, and Barbi locks Prince in a Double Underhook...Dominator! Batwing!!! 

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Passionate Caleb Prince is eliminated by Barbi Battz! (1)

 

Emi Sakura enters the match.

 

Sherman: Battz throws Emi into her corner, tag into Iliza, Iliza goes up and Battz lifts Emi in a double underhook, gets her upside down and ASSISTED SPIKE PILEDRIVER! NATA BLASTS KIKI WITH THE QUEEN'S CROWN!! THEY BOTH GO FOR THE PIN, CARTER COUNTS NATA FIRST-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Kiki Kruel is eliminated by Nata the Nasty! (2)

 

Handsome Hank Horton enters the match.

 

Sherman: Carter counting Iliza now-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Emi Sakura is eliminated by Iliza! (1) 7 of Hearts is out!

 

Ash: They weren't around long were they?

 

 

Sherman: Horton blasts Ward with a chop! And one for Iliza as well! Nata follows up on Ward with that Fisherman's Neckbreaker!! Going for the pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Alie Ward is eliminated by Nata the Nasty! (3)

 

Alex Pink enters the match.

 

Ash: Fire Marshall Ruth still contains the shortest stay in the match, but that was pretty close. Horton drops Nata with a lariat, Iliza scoops Alex Pink up on her shoulders, Running Pimp Drop! PARTY BUS!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Alex Pink is eliminated by Iliza! (2) 8 of Hearts is out!

 

Valerie: Already?? They just got here!

 

 

Ash: I'd heard that Maki got Riho and her sister to join her, I just didn't want it to be true.

 

Sherman: Horton takes Iliza on the Walk of Fame!! And the cover-ILIZA REVERSES!

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Valerie: Horton kicks. Sei with a series of lightning fast chops on Horton, ILIZA TAKES NATA ON THE PARTY BUS!! The cover-

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Sherman: H. Dog with the save! She'd be smart to tag him in. Horton with a knife-edge chop to Sei, and one to Nata as well. Nata and Horton with the team-up, Irish Whipping Sei, Sei slides under the double lariat and comes back around to give them both a bulldog! Iliza up to the top rope... doing the tightrope... SHOTGUN DROPKICK TO SEI! LINE OF SHOTS! Going for the cover-Sei kicks easily.

 

Ash: Horton gets Sei up, Nata gets Iliza up, Stereo Suplexes! Nata with a running elbow drop to Sei, Horton picks Iliza up...going on that Walk of Fame again! Return trip!

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Valerie: AGAIN Iliza reverses it-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! TH-

 

Ash: Horton barely kicks up in the nick of time! Nata with a knee drop on Iliza, Horton turns his attentions to Sei and takes her on the Walk of Fame too! The cover-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

 

Sei is eliminated by Handsome Hank Horton! (2)

 

Dark Angel Riho enters the match.

 

Sherman: Horton and Nata turn their attentions to Iliza... DOUBLE CHOKESLAM! And the pin-Iliza reverses on both of them!!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Handsome Hank Horton and Nata are eliminated by Iliza! (3/4) 8 of Clubs is out!

 

H. Dog enters the match.

 

Ash: DOUBLE ELIMINATION!

 

 

Sherman: Now that 2 suits are at 9, we'll take this time to remind you that the last team standing in the ring when all other suits are eliminated is the team deciding the finale. So there is a world in which half of a suit may not fight at all in the match, particularly if Iliza and Barbi can hold on for a bit. Riho greets Skyler Knight with a brass knuckle punch!! And she's got one for Iliza as well! 

 

Ash: Iliza blasts Skyler with a rocket kick, RIHO WITH THE RANHEI ON H. DOG!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO!

 

Valerie: H. DOG REVERSES THE PIN!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Dark Angel Riho is eliminated by H. Dog! (1) 9 of Hearts is out!

 

 

Ash: At least they're color-coordinated. 

 

Sherman: H. Dog runs in with a double lariat knocking down Isaac and Iliza! Going for the double pin. Isaac rolls away leaving Iliza -

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Iliza is eliminated by H. Dog! (2)

 

Barbi Battz enters.

 

Valerie: Well, at least they're still at 4. Barbi's back and ready for action as she hits a mid kick to Knight. H. Dog not finished with Isaac Indigo yet, pulls him in for the Pop-Up Powerbomb!! H BOMB!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO!

 

Ash: Isaac reverses!!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

H. Dog is eliminated by Islander Isaac Indigo! 6 of Diamonds is out!

 

 

Sherman: Skyler Knight and Barbi Battz sandwich Isaac's head with bats!! Double pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE! 

 

Islander Isaac Indigo is eliminated by Skyler Knight (1) and Barbi Battz (2)!

 

Cobie Smulders enters the match.

 

Valerie: Smulders with a hockey stick upside the head of Rod Kanhai! And swings it upside the head Skyler Knight! Going for the double pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! 

 

Ash: Skyler with the shoulder up, Kanhai stays down!

 

Carter: THREE!

 

Rod Kanhai is eliminated by Cobie Smulders! (1)

 

Jodie Sweetin enters the match.

 

Sherman: Sweetin with a double underhook suplex to Skyler! She turns around, Low Blow Kick to Barbi and Double Underhook DDT!! TOO SWEET!! Cobie hits a neckbreaker on Skyler as Jodie looks to cover Barbi-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO!

 

Valerie: Barbi gets the shoulder up! She's still in this thing! Jodie moves onto Skyler, and the low blow...TOO SWEET! As Barbi rakes the eyes of Cobie, Jodie goes for the cover, Gallito breaks it up. Jodie back to Barbi with a running STO. Skyler gets Jodie from behind with a double axe handle, Cobie with a corkscrew moonsault to Barbi and pin, but Barbi gets her foot on the rope! She's not going down without all the fight. Cobie pissed and stomping her out, Sweetin with an eye poke to Skyler. Cobie with a Canadian Destroyer... a SECOND... which means she's going for...HAT TRICK! HAT TRICK ON BARBI BATTZ!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Barbi Battz is eliminated by Cobie Smulders! (2) 4 of Spades is out!

 

Sherman: Wow, they actually did it!

 

 

Ash: Holy mismatched team, Batman. 

 

Sherman: Yeah I don't think he'll be inviting Crazy Ola to the Garden.

 

Valerie: Skyler already greets Ola with a discus lariat, and a slap from Cobie to Jodie. Ola gets Skyler on his shoulders, taking a run up to the middle turnbuckle and Burning Hammer! Burnt Sienna!! 

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE! 

 

Skyler Knight is eliminated by Crazy Ola! (1)

 

El Gallito Loco enters the match. 

 

Sherman: Why does almost no one tag in these matches?

 

Ash: If I were to guess, it would be that their eliminations are counting towards something bigger. 

 

Valerie: Well, Gallito got this far with only setting foot in the ring once but now he actually has to be a solo superstar. But Gallito lives up to the moment, Crazy Coop Dive to Crazy Ola!! As Sweetin hits those Kesagiri chops on Smulders, Gallito goes for the pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Crazy Ola is eliminated by El Gallito Loco! (1)

 

Lou Bison enters the match.

 

Ash: Gallito with a running dropkick to Lou, Cobie with a swinging neckbreaker to Sweetin and Lou Bison catches Cobie with a Uranage! Gallito keeps Sweetin on the ground with an elbow drop. Gallito with a quick chop to Jodie, Cobie hits the Hat Trick on Bison!! 

 

Carter: ONE! T-

 

Sherman: Bison reverses-

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Valerie: Cobie reverses again-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Lou Bison is eliminated by Cobie Smulders! (3) 5 of Spades is out!

 

 

Ash: Sweetin throwing punches at Wellington, Cobie with ANOTHER Hat Trick, this time to Gallito! 

 

Carter: ONE! TWO!

 

Valerie: Gallito slips out! 

 

Ash: Crazy Coop Dive to Cobie! Too Sweet to Wellington!!! Going for pins on both, Carter comes to Sweetin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

 Wellington Kbiit is eliminated by Jodie Sweetin! (1)

 

Queen Platinum enters the match.

 

Sherman: Gallito covers Cobie Smulders-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Cobie Smulders is eliminated by El Gallito Loco! (2)

 

Valerie: We've now approached Face Card levels for Hearts.

 

 

Ash: Zuhra Qizil hits Queen Platinum with a chop. Gallito hits a corkscrew splash on Sweetin!

 

Valerie: Queen Platinum grabs the arm of Zuhra and a knee shot to the stomach, Sweetin with that cheap kick and TOO SWEET! 

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

El Gallito Loco is eliminated by Jodie Sweetin! (2) 9 of Clubs is out!

 

 

Valerie: On what planet is Yuca Layli a Madness roster member and not a GHW one?

 

Ash: Apparently Colin, before leaving, felt we needed more heroic women who weren't tied to one of these factions. And so here we are. 

 

Sherman: Well, Ono tags Yuca in and Yuca charges Queen Platinum, flip into a dropkick! Qizil with quick punches to Sweetin, Irish Whip and catches Jodie in a pop up Burning Hammer... pop up Cartwheel Burning Hammer?? She calls that Qizormoq, which means both crimson and to engorge and enflame! As Platinum headbutts Yuca, Qizil pins Jodie.

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Jodie Sweetin is eliminated by Zuhra Qizil! (1) 7 of Diamonds is out!

 

 

Valerie: These two know what teamwork is like. Carrie Khan is part of a group of wrestling acrobats we just signed and Cinna brought Sugar Cooki to the light. Platinum greets Carrie with a slap, Yuca throws Qizil into her team's corner and tags in Ono, and they both unleash devastating chops to her.

 

Ash: Platinum gets Carrie in a headlock, Qizil tries to break it OH PLATINUM HEADLOCKS HER TOO, DOUBLE DDT! Going for a double pin but Qizil reverses into a roll-up on Platinum...Platinum kicks out, Carrie takes the time to get up on the top rope...going for a run along it, rounds the corner, BACKFLIP ALONG THE ROPE INTO A TWISTING CUTTER ON PLATINUM! THAT'S A KHANTACT HIGH!!

 

Sherman: Qizil with a quick punch on Ono as Carrie goes for the pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Queen Platinum is eliminated by Carrie Khan! (1) 6 of Spades is out!

 

 

Sherman: Estraga Corporation keeps causing all these beloved indie stars to sell out, and YL Destine is no different. But it'll be Icicle who starts for this team.

 

Ash: Also this might be the first time since this match started that all teams are fully here. But let's see how long that lasts.

 

Valerie: Icicle whips Khan into her corner, tag into YL... Icicle pulling Khan up on her shoulders, YL off the top with a leg bulldog!! Yizil tags in to Tragedeigh who rushes Ono with a headbutt as YL goes for a pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Connie Khan is eliminated by YL Destine! (1) 

 

Cinnaman enters the match.

 

Sherman: Cinna and Ono lock up, YL lifts BOTH OF THEM...MOONSAULT FALLAWAY SLAM! THE SHEER POWER! DOUBLE PIN-

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Valerie: Cinna lifts his shoulder up, Ono doesn't - 

 

Carter: TWO! THREE!

 

Ono Fender is eliminated by YL Destine! (2)

 

Yuca Layli enters the match.

 

Sherman: Tragedeigh with a double clothesline to YL and Yuca! Picks both of them up, I don't know where she's getting the strength but DOUBLE CHOKESLAM!!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Yuca Layli and YL Destine are eliminated by Tragedeigh! (1/2) 10 of Clubs is out!

 

Icicle enters the match.

 

Valerie: And that's the second suit heading to face cards!

 

 

Sherman: Tragedeigh clearly tired from that insane move, Daphne in and takes advantage with a Backpack Sleeper! She's got on her Fur Coat! Cinna with a chop to Icicle as Tragedeigh is fighting exhaustion, oh Carter is considering her passed out!

 

Tragedeigh is eliminated by Devious Daphne! (1)

 

Zuhra Qizil enters the match.

 

Ash: Qizil with a spinning powerslam to Cinna AND ICICLE UP IN THE FUR COAT!! DAPHNE SKINNIN' EVERYONE!! ICICLE TAPS!!!

 

Icicle is eliminated by Devious Daphne! (2) 7 of Spades is out!

 

Sherman: Fur truly is murder.

 

 

Valerie: Hot Mess Jess made a brief attempt to join Sex Appeal, but was denied. But she has her own team now, we've already seen one of the fighters in Ellie Reese. But here she is, the captain of that new ship.

 

Sherman: Utopia whips Daphne into her corner and tags Hot Mess in, Utopia gets Daphne up into a Doomsday setup and Hot Mess with a corkscrew splash! Cinna gets some chops in on Qizil as Jess goes for the pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Devious Daphne is eliminated by Hot Mess Jess! (1)

 

Max Matthews enters the match.

 

Sherman: Jess will need to get at least one more fall to even be considered for the Four Chambers match. She hits Cinna with a sloppy running headscissors QIZORMOQ TO MAX MATTHEWS!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Max Matthews is eliminated by Zuhra Qizil! (2) Jack of Clubs is out!

 

Ash: Clubs are down to three teams!

 

 

Sherman: Weston Lane comes quick with a brutal Mach 5 Roundhouse to the head of Qizil!! Lightning Round!!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Zuhra Qizil is eliminated by Weston Lane! (1) Jack of Hearts is out!

 

 

Sherman: Jess tags Utopia back in, Utopia pulls Weston up onto her shoulder, going for a spin-Over the Shoulder Backbreaker! Baggage Claim! 

 

Ash: Chim hits a dropsault to Cinna, Utopia goes for the pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Weston Lane is eliminated by Utopia Lin! (1)

 

Lionheart enters the match.

 

Ash: Cinna chops Chim, Lionheart whips Utopia into a corner, carrying up to the top buckle, Inverted Superplex to Utopia Lin-

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Sherman: Jess rescues her partner! Lion getting in Jess's face, Cinna locks up Utopia HERE COMES CHIM WITH A MOONSAULT TAKING THEM BOTH DOWN! Chim with a standing moonsault to Utopia, Cinna up and spins Lion around...double underhook and we're goin' for it! Spinning Double Underhook DDT!!! Cinnamon Swiiiirl! The cover-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Lionheart is eliminated by Cinnaman! (1) Queen of Clubs is out!

 

Ash: Clubs are in real danger right about now!

 

 

Ash: Awkward Nora Feeney is another member of the Hot Mess Express, and she's gotten paired up with a cool dude in Evan Essence Doyle whom people might think is related to Brian Storm, and...maybe? Not confirmed or denied.

 

Valerie: Even more awkward, she stands against her boss.

 

Sherman: The rate people are being eliminated and with two suits close to completion, it's becoming less and less likely that anyone will knock Utterly Vile off the top time, but anything could happen.

 

Valerie: Chim tags Brick in and Cinna charges him... BRICK POPS HIM UP! THERE'S THAT POWERSLAM, THE BRICKLAYER! AND UTOPIA'S ALREADY GOT DOYLE ON THE BAGGAGE CLAIM!!!

 

Ash: Utopia with the pin, Doyle reverses!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Utopia Lin is eliminated by Evan Essence Doyle! (1)

 

Hot Mess Jess enters the match.

 

Valerie: Hot Mess comes in with a Corkscrew 450 Splash to Essence, and Brick with a huge front slam to Cinna! Both going for the pin, Carter counts Brick first, 

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Cinnaman is eliminated by Brick Benson! (1) 8 of Diamonds is out!

 

Ash: That might have been the last chance to beat Utterly Vile's record. And Hot Mess covering Evan-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Evan Essence Doyle is eliminated by Hot Mess Jess! (2)

 

Awkward Nora Feeney enters the match.

 

 

Sherman: Jess with a Running Arm Drag on Benson, continuing the run and Shining Wizard! DRAG RACE!

 

Ash: Adanna lifting Feeney up by her head, all the way up... Bella Buster! BELLADANNA!! Both Jess and Adanna going for pins, Jess first-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Brick Benson is eliminated by Hot Mess Jess! (3)

 

Chim Cú Mèo enters the match.

 

Valerie: Awkward takes the waiting time to kick out, Hot Mess blasts her with a German Suplex!

 

Ash: That's her teammate!!

 

Sherman: Everyone for themselves here, Chim launches himself at Jess and she slams Chim into Awkward! Awkward takes Chim into a Rear Naked, Adanna with the Belladanna to Jess!! Going for the pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Hot Mess Jess is eliminated by Adanna the Fierce! (1) 8 of Spades is out!

 

 

Sherman: Adanna with a huge pair of punches right in the stomach-face of TOME, Awkward with a chop to Chim. Chim skips over Awkward and hits a Dropkick to TOME, brave people going for the biggest man in the room BELADANNA TO AWKWARD NORA FEENEY!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Awkward Nora Feeney is eliminated by Adanna the Fierce! (2) King of Clubs is out!

 

Ash: Down to the last pair for Clubs, this is getting real.

 

 

Sherman: Voxx another one of the Estraga Corp signings, and her roster speaks for itself. But first, her partner takes the ring.

 

Valerie: Adanna tags up Tamera, Tamera takes a run and headscissors takedown to Aisha Persaud. Chim with a low dropkick to the back of TOME's knees, trying to cut him down! Tamera catches Chim on the way up and arm drag, Aisha takes her turn kicking at TOME's legs, continues the run and a knee shot to Tamera, TOME lifts Chim up and BOOK END FROM WAY UP!! A one foot pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Chim Cú Mèo is eliminated by TOME! (1) Queen of Hearts is out!

 

Ash: And we're now down to two teams in the Hearts category. The end is drawing ever nearer.

 

 

Sherman: Fang is one third of DTF, a new set of hires, and again it feels like it would have been a GHW thing but that's okay, we love the IK and clearly Aisha Persaud feels differently as she throws the IK at TOME like he's Shredder in Turtles in Time.

 

Valerie: Aisha continues to punch at TOME, while Tamera Mowry picks IK up and back suplex! Aisha looks to get a tag up... oh but IK catches her in a kip-up move and huracanrana! Tamara thinks she's safe... TOME WITH A MANDIBLE CLAW AND HE ELEVATES HER WITH THAT HOLD! TWO FINGERS IN THE MOUTH, THUMB UNDER THE CHIN, HE'S GOT ORAL TRADITION LOCKED IN! 

 

Ash: Adanna with a smash to the back of TOME and he drops the hold! That would have been real bad for Tamera. So IK gets it instead!! Great, just great. 

 

Sherman: And Fang, unlike Adanna, isn't bothering to step into that. She knows if IK goes she has to go in, right?

 

Valerie: Aisha with a spinning suplex to Tamera, so she's not getting out completely unharmed. IK's faded quick. That's... that's unfortunate.

 

The IK is eliminated by TOME! (2)

 

Devastating Tessa Fang enters the match.

 

Ash: Fang enters with two chairs, she tosses one to Aisha...SANDWICH TO THE HEAD OF TAMERA MOWRY! Double pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Tamera Mowry is eliminated by Aisha Persaud (1) and Devastating Tessa Fang (1)!

 

Adanna the Fierce enters the match.

 

Sherman: Aisha and Tessa turn their attention to TOME and they double chair him in the legs!! He actually stumbles down!!! Aisha in the chest, Tessa in the back!!! Double chair him in the head!!!! And they go for the pin!!!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

TOME is eliminated by Aisha Persaud (2) and Devastating Tessa Fang (2)!

 

Wiski Sour enters the match.

 

Valerie: That blew up Wiski's advantage, and Aisha Persaud gets her with a floatover snapmare. Fang hits Adanna with a ripcord kippou knee, Wiski up and tries to get her with the chair, VANDAMINATOR BY FANG! Adanna sneaking up with the chair lifted and gets the same fate!! Going for the double pin, but she gets pushed off.

 

Ash: Wiski to her feet, and a slap to Aisha. Fang gets Adanna up, SPLITS ADANNA'S LEGS AND DROPS HER INTO A DOUBLE KNEE BACKBREAKER! DEVASTATEMENT! 

 

Sherman: Going for the pin-wait, we have company!

 

 

Valerie: That's Iris the Irredeemable, and she pulls Adanna to the ropes! No pin will be had!

 

Ash: Tessa mouthing off to Iris AISHA FROM BEHIND WITH A ZIG ZAG! Wiski kicks Adanna as Aisha goes for the pin on Fang, but Fang kicks out before one.

 

Sherman: Adanna stomps her, as Aisha hits a running neckbreaker on Wiski. Adanna continuing the pummeling on Fang as Wiski retaliates on Aisha with an elbow. Aisha and Adanna switching dance partners, Aisha with a smashing STO on Fang while Adanna gets Wiski up, hits her with the Inverted Fire Thunder Driver she calls the Fierce Driver! Going for the cover-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Wiski Sour is eliminated by Adanna the Fierce! (3) 9 of Spades is eliminated!

 

Ash: And that pin will tie her up with her liege, Nata the Nasty!

 

 

Sherman: Right now the person with the best shot to overtake Utterly Vile is Adanna the Fierce, and she'd still need to last another 5 minutes in this match. 

 

Amy: Fang's up to her tricks again, a Barbed Wire Bat uppercut to the chin of Remy Runt! And Aisha gets one too! She tries to cover them both-

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Valerie: Aisha shoulders up... Remy... doesn't?

 

Carter: TWO! THREE!

 

Remy Runt is eliminated by Devastating Tessa Fang! (3)

 

Anna Konda enters the match.

 

Sherman: Remy Runt just beat Fire Marshall Ruth's time for shortest survival. 

 

Valerie: Fitting for a Runt.

 

Ash: Also, Fang just ensured that you will need at least 3 falls to be considered possible for the Four Chambers Match. She's looking to increase that, hits Aisha with a Devastatement!! Anna Konda with a running DDT to Adanna as Fang tries once again to pin Adanna and finally force Voxx into this match-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Aisha Persaud is eliminated by Devastating Tessa Fang! (4)

 

Voxx enters the match.

 

Sherman: VOXX JUMPS IN WITH A DOUBLE BRASS KNUCKLE!! ONE GOES TO ADANNA AND ONE TO ANNA KONDA!! THE DOUBLE COVER!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Adanna the Fierce and Anna Konda are eliminated by Voxx! (1/2) 

 

Valerie: That's now 2 teams that need to come in! First, the last team to not be a face card-

 

 

Ash: This team I think can actually work as a unit! And who has the Jack of Spades?

 

 

Sherman: Bauro lifts Voxx and Stockett up at the same time and double suplex! Bauro continuing with an elbow drop on Stockett, Fang hits an Asai Moonsault on Voxx. Bauro and Fang switching it up, Bauro headbutt to Voxx and Fang with a brutal stomp to the throat of Stockett. Fang turns around, BAURO SPEARS HER! Voxx with another stomp to Stockett as Bauro goes for the pin-FANG REVERSES! And Bauro kicks.

 

Ash: Barclay tags in Kitty! and he hits Bauro with a chop. Devastatement to Voxx!

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Valerie: Reversal-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Devastating Tessa Fang is eliminated by Voxx! (3) King of Hearts is out!

 

Valerie: Fang almost ended this for Clubs, but now Hearts are on the bubble too! And we're gonna get another mystery newcomer here for GHW.

 

 

Sherman: Thunayiyi as one word means "Pride" and she is one of Syria's leading LGBT advocates. Yiyi enters the ring and KITTY! POUNCES HER!!! He goes for the pin, as Voxx hits Bauro with a backbreaker-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Thuna Yiyi is eliminated by Kitty! (1)

 

Terri Tinsel enters the ring.

 

Ash: Voxx hits Bauro further with an elbow drop. Terri Tinsel lifts Kitty up and an Inverted Razor's Edge! DOWNTOWNE!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Kitty! is eliminated by Terri Tinsel! (1)

 

Barclay Stockett enters the match.

 

Sherman: Barclay with a corkscrew splash to Voxx, Bauro lifts Terri into an Inverted Vertical Suplex, spins around into an Inverted Jackhammer! BAURO'D TIME!!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Terri Tinsel is eliminated by Bauro Ieremia! (1) Hearts are eliminated!

 

Ash: One suit down, three to go.

 

Valerie: Bauro up and going for a front slam on Barclay, trying for the pin-Barclay with the reversal! And Bauro kicks. Voxx waiting as Bauro gets up, and right into a fisherman driver, but Bauro reverses!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Voxx is eliminated by Bauro Ieremia! (2) Clubs are eliminated!

 

Sherman: Down to two suits! Barclay chops Bauro, loads back... DISCUS KINSHASA! BARCLAY STRONG STYLE!

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Ash: Victor with the rescue! Barclay off the ropes, Bauro to his feet and eats a second one!!

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Valerie: Victor rescues again! Bauro really needs to tag in! Barclay gonna try this a third time BAURO CATCHES HER WITH A BOOT. Scooping her up and running powerslam! He's trying to pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Barclay Stockett is eliminated by Bauro Ieremia! (3) Jack of Spades is eliminated!

 

Sherman: This is starting to look academic. 

 

 

Valerie: Chikondi in with a spinning lariat, taking Bauro off his feet! Bauro up quickly, and Crucifix Driver to Chikondi-not even one.

 

Ash: Naturally. She just got in. Bauro gets her with a quick elbow shot as she gets up. Chikondi looks to tag, Bauro with a backslide pin to pull her away but no pin, again. He's gonna have to do more work and he sees that as he gets her with a one-armed backbreaker, takes her up and a scoop slam. 

 

Sherman: Moyo punches him back in the face as she gets up, tries to go for the tag no Bauro pulls her back again and ripcord lariat!

 

Valerie: Pulls her back up and Ripcord Powerslam! Kiribati Slam! Going for a pin-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO!

 

Ash: Chikondi with her shoulder up. She's showing incredible resolve here. Pulls her up... BAURO'D TIME! 

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Chikondi Moyo is eliminated by Bauro Ieremia! (4)

 

La Criatura enters the match.

 

Sherman: Bauro just put himself on the top of the GHW elimination count with that. And he looks to continue that, pulling La Criatura right into the Bauro'd Time!!

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Ash: CRIATURA REVERSES!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Bauro Ieremia is eliminated by La Criatura! (1)

 

Victor Kingston enters the match.

 

Valerie: Victor Kingston only entered the ring once briefly in 4 minutes and 38 seconds but now it's his turn and he goes right for a Spear into a pin! La Criatura is up before one.

 

Ash: Criatura chops back as she gets up, he blasts her back with a European Uppercut! Getting her up... KING'S REQUIEM SITOUT POWERBOMB!!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

La Criatura is eliminated by Victor Kingston! (1) Queen of Hearts is out!

 

 

Sherman: The Jo sisters are a different kinda case, as they came to GHW not as a team but as bitter rivals. But today Sun Jung is focusing just on herself and this match. And she comes charging Kingston, but Kingston catches her and Exploder Suplex! She kips up but immediately eats a European Uppercut. It spins her around, he gets her into a German Suplex!! Roll and right into a Facebuster!! ROYAL DECREE!! 

 

Carter: ONE! TWO!

 

Ash: She reverses! But Victor kicks and blasts her with another European Uppercut. She gives one right back. He responds with a headbutt. She tries to go for a tag, but Victor pulls her back into a Pumphandle Slam! Gets her up and a Spinebuster! The cover-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Jo Sun Jung is eliminated by Victor Kingston! (2)

 

Omega X enters the match. 

 

Valerie: Victor pulls him in for a ripcord Lariat OH OMEGA BLOCKS THE ARM AND LIFTS HIM UP...POWERSLAM! Going for the pin, Victor rolls behind him... German Suplex.... KING'S REQUIEM! 

 

Carter: ONE! TWO!

 

Sherman: OMEGA REVERSES!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Victor Kingston is eliminated by Omega X! (1)

 

Ash: Omega pushes Spades into Face Card territory!

 

 

Ash: Whoa, I guess we're counting this guy as part of our roster. Okay then.

 

Sherman: Rick Rock starting in the ring, steps in and Omega boots him right the hell back down. Quick stomps, and Omega just keeps him grounded with a big walkover. Deciding to change course, lifting Rick and taking him to the top... AVALANCHE PEDIGREE! OMEGA PROTOCOL!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Rick Rock is eliminated by Omega X! (2)

 

Eliot Nestlemen enters the match.

 

Sherman: Omega X wastes no time, Belly to Belly to Eliot. Trying for the boot, Eliot catches his leg and Powerbomb! Going for the pin-

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Valerie: Shoulder up by Omega, stays in this. Eliot tosses a horizontal Omega over his head catches him and brutal backbreaker! "THIS GOES TO THE TOP!"

 

Ash: Omega grabs Eliot's leg before Eliot can pin, rolls him up but no count before Eliot kicks out.

 

Sherman: Omega undeterred, back to his feet and High Angle Spinebuster! The Endtimes!! 

 

Valerie: Again, kicking before a count can be had and ANOTHER THIS GOES TO THE TOP!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Omega X is eliminated by Eliot Nestlemen! (1) King of Spades is out!

 

 

Sherman: That's not his usual theme but when Tarrasque saw what he drew he requested it be played apparently. 

 

Ash: I respect it. And Persimmon, who was the lead designer of MAWL III is now getting to step back in the ring, and she has to do it against this guy. But no fear in her, and she springboards in with a Moonsault for a pin attempt-but Eliot gets his shoulder up before 1.

 

Valerie: Persimmon shrugs it off, takes a run, cartwheel into a dropkick! Eliot staggers back, but reaches out and gets her up for a big ol' chokeslam! Going for a pin-

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Sherman: Persimmon kicks! And quickly rolls him back up but he pops up quickly. Quick pair of kicks to his ankles as she gets back up. Irish Whip to her corner, Persimmon tags in Tarrasque, Tarrasque into the ring and Persimmon whips Nestlemen to him and Tarrasque with a destructive 180 turn Spinebuster!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Eliot Nestlemen is eliminated by Tarrasque! (1) Jack of Diamonds is out!

 

 

Ash: Spirita Fulminea in the ring and she's mocking Tarrasque, that's a huge mistake, he grabs her by the arms and just LAUNCHES her across the ring!

 

Sherman: Spirita learning from her mistakes, springboards from the rope, lariat to Tarrasque. Tarrasque staggers back but comes in with a headbutt. Spirita stumbles back, throwing a punch forward to the throat of Tarrasque, and another with her other hand! 

 

Valerie: Tarrasque grabs her arm and spins her around, he puts in a Dragon Sleeper! Wait...he's lifting her up by her neck! Taking her vertical and BACKBREAKER! IRISH DRAGON!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Spirita Fulminea is eliminated by Tarrasque! (2)

 

CON enters the match.

 

Sherman: CON has his punching-glove gun ready and blasts Tarrasque in the face with it! Going for a pin, but Tarrasque kicks out before one, gets CON by the neck and chokeslam! CON low blow kick and Spinning DDT!! Going for the pin- 

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Ash: Tarrasque reverses! And CON kicks before one. CON up and Tarrasque pulls him right back into a roll-CON kicks out and eye poke! And a second one!

 

Valerie: Tarrasque angry now and Irish Dragon to CON! But wait-

 

 

Sherman: SM pulls CON to safety! Tarrasque looking over the edge, SM and CON with a stereo punch to Tarrasque! And a second pair! CON springboard dropkick to Tarrasque!! Tarrasque grabs him by the leg and launches him to the other side of the ring! 

 

Valerie: CON takes the space to take a run and a blasting European Uppercut! Tarrasque tags in Persimmon, she throws quick punches to CON. He responds with a headbutt, Persimmon responds back with a snap DDT! Pulls him in for a Fairy Tale Ending, or are she calls it, the Sugar Plum! For the pin-

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Ash: SM once again to the rescue of CON, gets his foot to the rope. CON blasts Persimmon with a forearm shot, and gets her in a Prawn Hold pin-

 

Carter: ONE!

 

Sherman: Persimmon kicks out, but CON pulls her into a Full Nelson, pushing her head down in the process! He calls this Resisting Arrest! And Persimmon tries to break the hold but she can't, she's gonna tap!

 

Persimmon is eliminated by CON! (1)

 

Tarrasque enters the match.

 

Ash: CON can win this right now if he beats Tarrasque. Otherwise, Tarrasque will have two more teams to get through on his own post-CON.

 

Valerie: Tarrasque starting early with another giant boot! CON rolls up with another low blow, going for a run but Tarrasque catches him with an arm drag. CON rolls to the edge of the ring, SM gives him some DOH-branded knucks! Coming back with a superman punch and Tarrasque hits the mat!! The cover-

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! 

 

Sherman: Tarrasque gets the shoulder up!! CON is gobsmacked!! Tarrasque gets CON up by the throat and huge punch before a rib punch! AND IRISH DRAGON! Going for a pin AND SM REVERSES THE ROLL-UP!

 

Carter: ONE!

 

 

Valerie: Who the hell is this??

 

Ash: It's Lazer!! But she's traded her rainbow for white and she pushes the pin in the other way!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

CON is eliminated by Tarrasque! (3) Queen of Hearts is out!

 

Sherman: SM Heartbreaker is absolutely flabbergasted!

 

 

Sherman: We've got the next third of DTF and she's paired up with Nadja Norris. Norris should not be overlooked. Tarrasque doesn't seem too worried, but with Nadja throwing a quick three-puncher, perhaps he should be.

 

Valerie: Tarrasque with a stiff punch right back. Norris with a chop in return. Tarasque looking to return the chop, but Norris rolls his arm and twists it upward, and an arm-twist Fisherman Suplex! 

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Tarrasque is eliminated by Nadja Norris! (1) Spades are out!!

 

Ash: We are down to the OH FREEWHEELIN PULLS NORRIS UP BY THE TIGHTS AND ROLLS HER UP!

 

Carter: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Nadja Norris is eliminated by Freewheelin' Destiny Thien! (1) Freewheelin' Destiny Thien wins!