The camera pans across a cheery hotel banquet room: balloons shaped like dumbbells, a pancake-stacking contest happening in the back, and a local radio DJ awkwardly emceeing over a bad mic system.
DJ:
"Let's give it up for the real stars of the morning—wrestling, waffles, and world peace, baby!"
At a “Meet the Champs” table, Davy Boy and Sombras pose with fans and sign syrup-sticky napkins.
In the corner, Tragedeigh gives side-eye to a bowl of fruit shaped like a drama mask.
Cut to the MAWLiwood Blondes – At the Mimosa Table
Mark Anderson adjusts his mirror-polished shades while Winston Lewis throws miniature pancakes at a target labeled “Public School Gym.”
Winston:
“If one more child asks if we’re the ‘TikTok guys,’ I’m burning this place down.”
Mark:
“I’m still wearing the loss. I haven’t been this humiliated since that one time we had to take economy class.”
They sip. And then—it happens.
Enter El Gallito Loco & Tortuga de Acero
The double doors swing open with comedic flair.
Gallito, arm in a syrup-stained sling, wears a neck brace and sunglasses over his mask.
Tortuga waddles in behind him wearing a towel as a cape, limping dramatically, dragging his crushed shell water bottle behind him like a defeated warrior.
Gallito:
“¡Damas y caballeros! We have arrived! The streets gave us pain—but the pancakes… gave us purpose!”
Tortuga:
“You told me there would be bacon.”
They make a beeline to the waffle bar. Gallito high-fives a cardboard cutout of Ralph. Tortuga misreads the syrup pump and ends up shooting butterscotch all over a table marked “Reserved for Sponsors.”
The Laugh Heard Around the Room
As they pass by the MAWLiwood Blondes, Gallito bursts into unhinged, uncontrollable laughter.
Gallito:
“I CAN’T—I STILL SEE HIS FOOT STICKING OUT OF THE POPCORN BUCKET! BAHAHAHA!!”
Tortuga:
“Then the mascot slipped and landed on the ref!”
They slap each other’s backs, completely unaware of the rage rising two feet away.
Mark:
“Oh they’re laughing? They’re LAUGHING?!”
Winston:
“Even the syrup thinks they’re funny.”
Mark hurls his mimosa. It misses. Gallito turns.
Gallito:
“Wait—are we fighting or brunching? I have to know because I brought very different shoes for each.”
Mark:
“You’re about to brunch with PAIN.”
Winston grabs a tray of sausage links and whips it like nunchucks.
Mark DDTs Gallito into a tray of scrambled eggs.
Tortuga tries to hide behind a table labeled “Wrestlers Read To Kids” but is dragged out and launched into the chocolate fountain.
Gallito, soaked in syrup, swings wildly with a ladle yelling, “¡Por los waffles!”
Security charges in… one slips on a rogue blueberry and wipes out three volunteers.
A Local News Crew Catches It All
Cut to a shaky livestream where a reporter screams:
Cut to a shaky livestream where a reporter screams:
“THE BLONDES ARE PUMMELING A TURTLE!”
Final Shot:
Tortuga stuck upside-down in a stack of pancakes.
Gallito waving a spatula like a flag of defeat.
Gallito:
“Let the record show... we came for brunch. And left with bruises.”
Tortuga (muffled from inside the pancake pile):
“I hate syrup…”
We open in a tucked-away corner of the arena, far from the noise. A modest camera crew films a small segment for MAWL’s social channels. A banner behind the table reads:
On the table sits a replica of Manta Ray’s debut poster, a stack of autograph cards, handmade masks painted by kids from his hometown, and a crisp donation check from merchandise profits.
Manta Ray:
“There were nights I would fall asleep next to broken nets and salt-soaked crates… wondering if the world even knew I existed.”
He places a hand on the child-painted mask.
Manta:
“I wrestle not just to win. I wrestle so these kids know they can. If one child finds shelter, if one heart keeps beating without fear, then I’ve already succeeded.”
Crew members nod respectfully. One camerawoman wipes a tear. Manta’s eyes drop to a photo on the table—him, unmasked, smiling beside three kids in borrowed lucha masks.
Manta:
“This isn’t about glory. This is about giving them what I didn’t have—hope.”
METAL CRASH.
A steel folding chair clatters off the cement floor as Mal Sangre storms in from the shadows like a venomous tide.
His boots stomp across the flyers.
Mal Sangre:
“Hope? You think hope makes you strong?”
Manta starts to turn—TOO LATE. A devastating forearm smashes into his jaw, launching him into the charity table. Merchandise, markers, the check—everything explodes into the air.
Manta crumples under the banner bearing his own face.
Mal:
“You stand in front of cameras, wearing a mask of humility… pretending you’re above the game. You sell charity like it’s a weapon.”
Manta groans, trying to pull himself up using the fallen table. Mal grabs the donation check, stares at the total… and sneers.
Mal:
“$5,000 to a home for the forgotten? I was forgotten. No camera. No crew. No rescue.”
He shoves the check into Manta’s mouth.
Mal:
“Let’s see if your morals protect you now.”
Mal grabs Manta by the back of the neck and slams him into the steel case beside the set. Manta crumples, unmoving.
Two MAWL officials and a production assistant rush to the scene. Mal raises his hands—not in surrender, but in disgusted satisfaction.
Mal Sangre:
“You raise banners. I raise truth.”
He kicks a flyer aside and slowly exits frame, leaving behind a mess of scattered dreams and bloodied dignity.
The child-painted masks are crushed and wet with spilled water.
The table is splintered.
Manta lies curled, breathing but motionless, the word “HOPE” from a poster torn beneath him.
The camera lingers on a broken sharpie scribbled with a child’s handwriting:
“Gracias, Manta!”
Backstage, shadowy interview.
Mal Sangre:
“Heroes are distractions. They build statues and shelters and lull you to sleep. But the world is still cruel. Still bleeding.”
Mal:
“Better to be feared… than forgotten.”
MAY 12, 2025
PHILADELPHIA, PA
LINCOLN FINANCIAL FIELD
Fireworks go off in the arena as Jacob Lizotte "Madness" plays and the crowd absolutely goes wild.
Colin: Welcome Welcome WELCOME to MAWL Madness here in the City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! We are in the stadium where the Superbowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles reside which I'm sure is causing Morgan Maverick inordinate glee, and we are two weeks out from Mayday in Virginia Beach, Virginia. I'm Colin McRae, here with Kendra Mavis and Arvin Wallace-Jones and we are barreling headfirst into the Danger Room, not to mention Balor Wolfe defending his belt against Tamara Rivers.
Kendra: Elisa Mae He has thrown roadblock after roadblock to Balor but haven't been able to keep him down. Today's latest roadblock is a handicap match against AM Brooks and Magnus.
Arvin: I wouldn't even call them roadblocks... he already has the belt. What's being blocked?
Colin: We can always count on you to nitpick.
Arvin: So I'm right then.
Kendra: Another fighter who's had things just getting progressively more frustrating is Dinah Soar, she's coming out next in our first match of the night to battle Tragedeigh.
Colin McRae (with excitement):
That's right folks, it’s time for a high-flying face-off between prehistoric propulsion and poetic punishment! This one’s gonna leave a mark in the fossil record!
Arvin Wallace-Jones (already over it):
Oh great, we’re starting with the puns. I dino what I did to deserve this.
Kendra Mavis (without missing a beat):
Probably something triassic.
Titantron: A helicopter descends onto a jungle island, the music swelling.
The classic Jurassic Park theme thunders through the arena.
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Colin:
“Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves… the Paleontologist of Pain is inbound!”
Pyro erupts like a volcano. DINAH SOAR explodes onto the stage, roaring with a bright grin.
Ash: First! From Isla Nublar, the Paleontologist of Pain, DINAH SOAR!
She runs full tilt down the ramp, leaps through the middle rope in one bound, and lands in a heroic crouch, arms outstretched.
Kendra:
“She’s part athlete, part action figure, and 100% dino-mite.”
Arvin:
“If she tries to fossilize me with that entrance one more time, I’m calling animal control.”
Colin:
“Careful, Arvin. She’s been known to pterodactyl the haters.”
Arvin:
“I will quit this job.”
The lights cut again. A single spotlight hits the curtain as Nightwish’s “Phantom of the Opera” begins—slow and soaring.
Colin: "She's going back to her original music. Interesting choice. I wonder what it could mean."
Ash: "And her opponent! From Edina, Minnesota, representing La Sangre Maldita, she is the Red Queen, TRAGEDEIGH!"
Tragedeigh emerges slowly in her half-mask, dragging behind her a tattered stage curtain like a cape. Her arms rise dramatically as faux thunder echoes.
Kendra:
“She’s not just entering the ring—she’s entering Act III of her personal redemption arc.”
Arvin:
“Let’s just hope she doesn’t monosaur us to death with a monologue.”
Colin (groaning):
“You’re the worst kind of clever, Arvin.”
Kendra:
“Careful, boys. Tragedeigh’s not above turning this from a match into a tragedy.”
Tragedeigh climbs the steps slowly, then flings her curtain-cape aside and stares down Dinah Soar from across the ring.
Colin:
“Two performers, two styles, and one ring. One's a raptor in the ropes, the other’s Shakespeare with suplexes. LET’S GO.”
[DING DING DING]
Colin McRae:
“And this fossil-fueled fight is underway! Dinah Soar comes out the gate like a Veloci-runner!”
Kendra Mavis:
“Springboard dropkick from Dinah—hits clean! She’s airborne faster than a pteranodon on Red Bull.”
Arvin Wallace-Jones:
“I haven’t seen something fly that fast since my last ex left. But sure, let’s say dinosaurs.”
Colin:
“Tragedeigh slow to rise—BUT WAIT! Roll-up—no! Dinah flips out—back handspring into a tilt-a-whirl headscissors!”
Kendra:
“That’ll shake the dust off anyone’s fossils.”
Arvin (groaning):
“We are five minutes in and I already want extinction.”
Tragedeigh regains footing—counters a lariat with a dramatic spin and hits the OVERTURE (running blockbuster)
Colin:
“She caught her mid-saur! I mean—mid-air! The Overture! And suddenly Dinah’s the one on the endangered list!”
Kendra:
“Tragedeigh’s got her trapped in Intermission position... hits the somersault Fame-Asser! Big impact!”
Arvin:
“I’ll give her this—when she commits to a scene, she commits. That was bronto-busting.”
Both down. The crowd claps rhythmically. Dinah kips up first.
Colin:
“Dinah’s digging deep into her DNA—she’s the last of her kind and ready to remind the world!”
Kendra:
“She’s got momentum—DDT REX!!! That’s the ripcord double-arm DDT and it planted Tragedeigh like a fossil bed!”
Arvin:
“Somebody check the Richter scale, I think that DDT caused a timequake.”
Dinah climbs the ropes for METEOR. Lights flicker suddenly. A low hum buzzes.
Colin:
“Wait—hold on. We’re having some... some kind of interference on the feed?”
A flicker. For one brief second, a strange image barely discernible flashes across the tron—arcane symbols, scribbles, Ralph Silva’s handwriting.
Kendra (tense):
“Did… anyone else just see—”
Arvin:
“Yeah, it looked like a crayon drawing by a time-traveling conspiracy theorist. Probably Ralph Silva’s latest vlog.”
Colin:
“Dinah’s still going—SHE HITS THE METEOR!! The 630 from orbit!!!”
Kendra:
“She just made the sky fall!”
Cover: 1… 2… Tragedeigh kicks out at 2.9! Crowd gasps.
Dinah Soar gets up and signals for another METEOR, crowd roaring.
Colin McRae:
“She’s headed for the top rope again—this might be a mistake!”
Just as she climbs, the titantron quietly overrides—almost unnoticeable.
A flickering corner of blueprints appears. A coded tag: “S-2 INITIATED.”
**Next to it: a barely visible sigil—**a gris-gris charm sketched in charcoal. A swampy hand-drawn glyph.
Kendra Mavis (narrowing eyes):
“That... that wasn’t just numbers.”
Arvin Wallace-Jones (faux casual):
“Guess someone’s been digging around the Bayou.”
Dinah stares, confused—recognizing something. She loses focus.
Tragedeigh pounces—hooks Dinah—
AVALANCHE CURTAIN CALL.
Ref: 1! 2! 3!
Ding ding ding!
Winner: Tragedeigh (Pinfall)
Ash: Here is your winner, The Red Queen, TRAGEDEIGH!
Tragedeigh rolls off, chest heaving. She doesn’t look victorious—she looks concerned. She saw it too.
Colin:
“Tragedeigh gets the win—but this wasn’t just about the match tonight.”
Kendra:
“That blueprint… that charm. That wasn’t just a message. That was a warning.”
Arvin:
“You don’t send charms unless you want someone summoned. And I think someone’s about to rise up from the muck.”
FADE TO BLACK... THEN A PROMO FLICKERS IN
The screen glitches—cutting to static.
We hear a voice, low and thick with swamp breath:
> “The bones rattled… and I heard his call.”
“He’s buildin’ somethin’ in the dark. And I’m here to dig up what’s left.”
A single word appears in dripping white font, scratched across old wood:
Colin: Well, never a dull moment here at MAWL, I'll tell you that much.
Kendra: I wonder if this had anything to do with the weird face at the end of last week.
Arvin: Also what grave are you in that the water is wh... you know what, I don't want to know. Can we move on to the next match?
Colin: Yes, I think that's completely doable.
TINO SABATELLI VS LOCAL TALENT
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
The Anti-Corruption limo pulls up, and Tino Sabatelli steps out still puffing his cigar. He throws it, causing a wall of flame behind the limo.
Ash: First! From Roma, Italy, weighing 365 pounds, The Papa! TINO SABATELLI!
Tino straightens his tie as he walks down the ramp, then carefully places his coat, tie, and shirt on a gold-lined stool by the ring.
Colin: Two of his team members are in the Danger Room match, he's been working the scene for some time now, kinda silly that he is still having to do this.
A man in Yellow with a luscious beard and a scowl walks down the ramp.
Ash: And his opponent! From Kunkletown, Pennsylvania, weighing 221 pounds, the Kunkletown Crank, Yancy A. Yardburn!
The bell rings.
Kendra: So this dude's whole thing is he's miserable?
Colin: Pretty much.
Arvin: If your initials were YAY you would be too.
Kendra: Well, Tino's sure gonna give him something to be miserable about.
Colin: According to his bio, he picked this Garbage song because, quote, "Only Happy When It Rains" is too mainstream.
Arvin: So he's a hipster who made his whole thing being unhappy. Yeah, that checks. But, it's not going to matter, because Tino hits a Last Ride! And a second! And a THIRD! He goes for the pin-
1!
2!
3!
"The Papa" Tino Sabatelli wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, the Papa Tino Sabatelli!
Kendra: Is this going to follow the same pat-yep, sure enough, he's going on a Powerbomb Rampage! You can hear the back snap on Yancy! The ambulance is here!
Colin: They better check to make sure those are the actual EMTs this time.
Kendra: HOODED FIGURE POPS OUT OF THE BACK OUT OF THE AMBULANCE AND STARTS THROWING HAMMER FISTS AT TINO!! THE HOODED FIGURE DRAGS TINO INTO THE AMBULANCE AND THROWS HIM BACK FIRST INTO THE SIDE!
Colin: Yancy saved from more destruction by whoever Trojan Horsed that Ambulance.
Arvin: Finally Tino gets his comeuppance.
Colin: And with that we move onto our next match with two people hoping to get their win-loss record back on track.
JP SPEARS VS IVAN VOLKOV
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Ivan walks slowly and deliberately, glaring at the audience, before ripping off his coat in the ring to reveal his massive frame.
Ash: First! Accompanied by Viktor Dragovich, from Russia, weighing in at 315 pounds, the Siberian Titan, IVAN VOLKOV!
"Hand Clapper" starts playing and the crowd starts to clap along. JP runs out as the tron starts to play his reel and he plays to the crowd, clapping to either side before starting a jog towards the ring.
Ash: And their opponents! From Charlotte, North Carolina, weighing in at 215 pounds, J!P! Spears!
He slides under the bottom rope and takes off his cut-off T-shirt and throws it into the crowd.
The bell rings.
Colin McRae: "And we’re off—OH! Ivan Volkov explodes out of the corner like a freight train!"
Kendra Mavis: "No—JP look out!"
[Ivan barrels straight into JP Spears, ramming him spine-first into the turnbuckle with a thunderous shoulder thrust.]
Colin: "Ivan just rammed JP into that corner with all 290 pounds behind it—and now—hoists him up! Overhead Belly-to-Belly Suplex! JP just got LAUNCHED!"
Arvin Wallace: "WOO! That's not a suplex, that’s an international incident! Send that boy back to Carolina in pieces!"
[JP crashes near the opposite turnbuckle, clutching his lower back as Ivan roars and stomps across the ring like a beast let loose.]
Viktor Dragovich (shouting ringside): "This is my monster! FEAR HIM! Look at what POWER looks like, America!"
Colin: "JP Spears hasn't even gotten out of the blocks! Ivan now—charging—Corner Splash! That turnbuckle just rattled!"
Kendra: "Come on, ref! He’s smothering the poor kid—"
[JP stumbles forward, dazed. Ivan grabs him by the wrist and whips him to the ropes. On the rebound—]
Colin: "POP-UP EUROPEAN UPPERCUT! That nearly took JP’s head clean off!"
[The sound echoes through the arena. JP collapses face-first. Ivan doesn’t go for the pin—he doesn’t need to. He’s making a point.]
Arvin: "That’s called dominance! That’s Ivan Volkov saying, ‘You don’t belong in my ring.’"
Viktor (grinning ear to ear): "You see now, American fools?! This is not a game! THIS is destruction!"
Colin: "And Ivan's not done—he lifts JP like a child—Gorilla Press Slam! JP just bounced off the mat!"
Kendra: "This isn’t a match... this is punishment. Why is Ivan putting JP through this?"
Colin: "Because Viktor demanded it... and because Ivan Volkov doesn’t just win—he dismantles."
[Ivan stalks his prey, watching JP try to crawl to the ropes. He doesn’t let him.]
Colin: "Siberian Storm incoming—Corner Splash! One! Corner Splash again! Two! Here comes the finisher to the combo—RUNNING BIG BOOT!"
Kendra: "Oh my god!"
[JP flips inside out from the sheer impact of the boot and crumples.]
Viktor (slamming the mat): "YES! That is FEAR! That is POWER! Bow to him!"
Colin: "Ivan Volkov is in total control. Not a single pin attempt yet. He’s toying with JP like a cat with a half-dead mouse."
Arvin: "And I LOVE it. JP’s got heart, sure, but this ain’t a Disney movie. It’s real life, and in real life, monsters win."
Kendra: "He’s not a monster. He’s a machine built by a madman."
Colin: "Whatever he is, JP Spears is in for the longest night of his young career."
Colin McRae: "We’re back here, and Ivan Volkov has been putting on a one-man demolition derby against JP Spears. Just absolute destruction so far."
Kendra Mavis: "JP’s taken a beating like I’ve never seen—this isn’t wrestling, this is a mugging."
[Ivan stalks forward again, dragging JP up by the hair and scooping him up.]
Colin: "Looks like he’s going for the Running Powerslam—no! Wait, JP’s kicking his legs! He’s fighting out of it!"
[The crowd stirs—JP wriggles free, landing behind Ivan.]
Kendra: "Yes! Yes! He landed on his feet!"
Colin: "And a Standing Dropkick! That barely fazes Ivan—but JP fires again—Clothesline! Ivan stumbles back!"
[JP hits the ropes, using all his momentum—he leaps—]
Colin: "Springboard Crossbody—HE GOT HIM DOWN! JP’s got Ivan on the mat!"
[The crowd pops hard as Ivan hits the canvas for the first time.]
Kendra: "Come on, JP! Come on, kid! Don’t stop!"
Arvin Wallace: "Okay, okay! That was cute, but let’s not pretend the mouse just killed the lion!"
[JP grabs the ropes, breathing heavy but determined. He slaps his chest and lines up for the "Hit Stick."]
Colin: "He’s going for the Hit Stick! Can he land it—NO!"
[As JP rushes, Ivan snaps up like a monster rebooting—]
Colin: "RED BLIZZARD! GOOD GOD! Spinning lariat turned JP inside OUT!"
Kendra: "Oh no..."
[JP lands in a heap, his body twisting from the sheer momentum. The ref kneels, checking on him, but Ivan shoves past.]
Viktor (shouting): "This is the reality, Spears! No comeback! Only PAIN!"
Colin: "JP had a moment—a heartbeat of momentum—but Ivan just erased it like it was never there!"
[Ivan drags JP’s limp body up—]
Colin: "Titan Slam! That sit-out powerbomb just crushed JP into the mat!"
Arvin: "He bounced like a basketball! I LOVE IT!"
Kendra: "Come on, ref—check him! He hasn’t moved!"
Colin: "But Ivan’s STILL not going for a pin! This is humiliation! This is deliberate!"
[Ivan stands tall, his chest heaving. He looks down at JP—then to Viktor.]
Viktor (grinning): "FINISH HIM."
Colin: "Ivan’s got that look in his eye—he’s not done. He’s dragging JP by the arms—oh no, he’s setting up for it..."
Arvin: "If he hits this, JP’s going to need a stretcher."
Colin: "He’s going for the Iron Curtain!"
[Ivan hooks JP into a delayed vertical suplex... holding it... the crowd gasps—]
Colin: "This isn’t about winning. This is about making sure JP Spears never forgets the name Ivan Volkov."
Colin McRae: "Ivan’s got him up… and—SIT-OUT CHOKESLAM! That’s the Iron Curtain, and JP Spears has been flattened!"
Arvin Wallace: "He got dropped like a bad investment! That’s gotta be it!"
Kendra Mavis: "But Ivan’s still not pinning him! This is—this is sadistic."
[The camera pans over JP, who lies motionless on the mat, staring at the lights as Ivan stands over him.]
Viktor (shouting): "Tell the world, Colin! Tell them you’ve seen the monster! Tell them the Iron Curtain has fallen!"
Colin: "Ivan Volkov is treating JP Spears like a chew toy, and the ref might need to step in. JP's taken a brutal beating."
[Ivan pulls JP up by the hair again, dragging his lifeless body to the corner.]
Colin: "He’s positioning him… oh no. He’s backing up."
[Ivan lets out a roar and charges—]
Colin: "SIBERIAN STORM! That’s one splash—AND ANOTHER! And HERE COMES THE BIG BOOT—WAIT!"
[JP drops out of the corner just in time—the boot SMACKS the turnbuckle! The crowd comes alive!]
Kendra: "He moved! He moved! JP’s still got something left!"
[JP, barely on his feet, uses the ropes to stay up. Ivan turns around—]
Colin: "DROP TOE HOLD INTO THE MIDDLE TURNBUCKLE! JP'S ALIVE!"
[Ivan slams face-first into the buckle. The crowd gets LOUD.]
Kendra: "Now, kid! Now’s your chance!"
[JP rushes in, grabs Ivan—]
Colin: "NECKBREAKER! Got him down again!"
[JP points to the top rope—the crowd roars.]
Colin: "He’s going up top—JP Spears is flying!"
Arvin Wallace: "Somebody get a tranquilizer, this idiot’s about to do something reckless."
[JP stands tall, takes a breath, and leaps—]
Colin: "BLOCKBUSTER! He hit the Scoreboard! This could be it! THIS COULD BE—"
Kendra: "Cover him, JP! COVER HIM!"
[JP crawls over, hooks the leg—]
Ref: "ONE! TWO—"
Colin: "NO! Ivan KICKS OUT with AUTHORITY!"
Arvin: "Like a rocket launch! JP got launched into the air on that kick-out!"
[JP crashes onto his back, shocked. He scrambles up, staggered, pulling his elbow pad off—he’s calling for the All-American.]
Colin: "He’s going for it! JP’s calling his shot!"
[JP rushes forward—]
Colin: "HIT STICK! NO—IVAN SIDESTEPS!"
[JP rebounds off the ropes—into Ivan’s arms!]
Colin: "OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! JP FLIES ACROSS THE RING!"
Kendra: "No, no, no! Not again!"
[JP hits the mat hard, bouncing once before lying in a heap. Ivan snarls as he stalks forward.]
Colin: "Spears got so close! That Blockbuster nearly turned the tide, but Ivan just won’t stay down—and now he looks angrier."
Arvin: "You poke the bear, you get the claws. And Ivan Volkov’s got iron claws, baby."
[Ivan yanks JP off the mat, brutal expression on his face.]
Colin: "He’s setting up again—what now? Is he going for the Volkov Vice?"
[Ivan begins to lock in the camel clutch-style hold…]
Kendra: "Not that! Not that move!"
Colin: "JP Spears is in trouble again—and Viktor is loving every second!"
Arvin: "Ivan’s got the Volkov Vice locked in—and JP is in agony!"
Kendra Mavis: "You can see the veins popping in Ivan’s arms—he’s trying to crush him like a steel trap!"
Arvin Wallace: "This is how you make someone vanish from the ring. Tap or nap, JP!"
[JP's eyes are fading—but suddenly he shifts, rocking side to side… then throws his legs up onto the ropes! The ref sees it!]
Ref: "BREAK THE HOLD! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!"
Colin: "He’s on the ropes! Spears survives!"
[Ivan releases and roars in frustration, shoving the referee aside—but JP rolls to his knees, sucking air in desperate gasps.]
Kendra: "He's still in it! The kid is still fighting!"
[Ivan charges for another Siberian Storm—JP dodges! Ivan hits the turnbuckle hard!]
Colin: "He missed! He missed!"
[JP seizes the moment—springboards up—]
Colin: "SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK! Ivan stumbles! Spears is lighting up!"
[Ivan charges again—JP ducks—]
Colin: "CHICKEN WING INTO A SUPLEX! OH MY GOD, THE STRENGTH!"
Kendra: "That’s adrenaline, Colin! That’s pure heart!"
[Ivan rolls to his knees—JP hits the ropes—]
Colin: "HIT STICK! AND HE GOT ALL OF IT! Ivan is down! Ivan is down!"
Arvin Wallace: "I can't believe this! That freight train got derailed!"
[JP slaps the mat, pointing to the turnbuckle. He climbs up slowly, exhausted.]
Colin: "He’s going for the Scoreboard again! If he hits this, he might shock the world!"
[JP steadies himself on the top rope—he leaps—]
Colin: "BLOCKBUSTER!! HE HIT IT! HE NAILED IT!! COVER HIM—WAIT!"
[As JP staggers to the pin, Ivan suddenly rises—right in the ref’s path! JP nearly collides with the referee and stumbles—]
Kendra: "Watch out! Oh no—NO!"
[In that split second, Viktor reaches into his jacket and—CRACK!—BLASTS JP in the face with BRASS KNUCKLES!]
Colin: "WHAT THE HELL?! VIKTOR JUST CLOCKED HIM!"
Kendra: "You’ve got to be kidding me! This was JP’s moment!"
[JP stumbles backward, eyes glassy, blood at the lip—he turns around, barely upright—]
Colin: "Ivan’s got him! HE’S GOT HIM—"
[Ivan lifts JP effortlessly—arms hooked, spins him in midair—]
Colin: "RED WINTER EXECUTION! A double arm spin-out powerbomb into a jackknife bridge! HE FOLDED HIM IN HALF!"
Ref: "ONE! TWO! THREE!!"
[DING DING DING!!!]
Arvin Wallace: "IT’S OVER! The monster reigns!"
Colin: "A devastating maneuver—and the assist from Viktor makes this victory as tainted as it gets!"
Kendra: "JP Spears gave everything he had… and it was stolen from him."
[Ivan rises slowly, not even celebrating. Viktor enters, grinning, and raises Ivan’s arm high as boos pour in from the crowd.]
Colin McRae: "Oh no... Viktor’s got a mic. You already robbed the kid—what more do you want?"
Arvin Wallace: "What more? Validation, Colin. Victory needs a voice."
[Viktor paces in the ring like a general, mic in hand, sneering down at the crowd as they boo him relentlessly.]
Viktor Dragovich:
"Do you see this?! DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PUT YOUR FAITH IN BOYS LIKE HIM?!"
[He kicks at JP’s hand as he tries to crawl toward the ropes.]
Viktor:
"This—this is the fate of all your little heroes. Flashy moves, fancy dreams—but when the time comes, when the monster wakes—"
[He points at Ivan, who hasn't moved, standing coldly in the center of the ring.]
Viktor:
"—They fall. Hard."
[The crowd boos louder. Viktor smiles.]
Viktor:
"You think tonight was brutal? You think this was violence? This was restraint. This was mercy. Ivan Volkov is not here to compete. He is not here to entertain you. He is here to dominate."
[Viktor gets close to the hard cam, finger pointing straight into it.]
Viktor:
"Locker room—take notice. GM, take notice. Alastor, take notice. Because my monster? My weapon? He’s going all the way. Titles. Tournaments. Terror. And there is nothing—NOTHING—you can do to stop him."
[Viktor throws the mic down. BOOM. It clatters, echoing.]
Colin: "This is getting dangerous. That wasn’t a promo—that was a warning."
[Ivan turns toward JP one last time… and steps over the ropes, dropping down. Viktor follows, raising Ivan’s arm high.]
[“Hand Clapper” starts to play faintly in the background—but is immediately cut off.]
Kendra: "Oh, come on…"
[Ivan’s own theme—a thunderous, ominous orchestral track laced with deep drums and Russian horns—floods the arena.]
Colin: "Ivan Volkov’s music hits—and I don’t know what scares me more… the sound, or the silence he leaves behind."
[Camera lingers on JP still trying to recover, crowd in a stunned hush as Ivan and Viktor disappear through the curtain.]
Heloisa stands with Morgan Maverick, who is clearly both happy to be home and more than a little impatient.
Heloisa: Morgan Maverick, you must be thrilled to be-
Morgan: What a wonderfully incisive insight, Hel. The greatest performer in MAWL back in the greatest city in the world in the home of the greatest sports team in the world. with the greatest group of girlies in the world, and I must be "thrilled"? Boy, as happy as I am that Crystelle is with us now, the replacement sure is hot. Trash.
Morgan takes a breath.
Morgan: But I'm in such a great mood that I'm even willing to put up with your ineptitude.
Morgan's speech almost seems like the heartfelt hometown hero speech.
You see, Hel, this stadium was the top of my bucket list since I was 5. I wanted to fly where the Eagles fly. But I was told growing up that the only way I could hope to perform here was as a cheerleader or halftime dancer.
Her smirk comes back. She's still her.
Well guess what bitches tonight I run this place. I am the main event. Here I get better billing than Balor. Those who mocked me paid to see me. I won. And my challenger tonight? This child who comes out here in his high school singlet? Lemme tell ya something, Bayside High, you may wear an eagle but I embody the Eagle. You dare to bring that shit into my house? I'm gonna rip that emblem off and make you choke on it, and while you eat your shirt I'll be eating a delicious, perfect, Philly Cheesesteak. Your choice to fight me? Is truly Unphortunate for you.
Morgan throws up the hands and tosses her hair as she walks out.
Colin: There's a kind of full circle that when we first met Morgan Maverick, her first screw you to the fans was related to the football rivalry of the team that plays here and now she's main eventing here. Back in the W2, Bianca and I wondered how Morgan's emotional space would be once she made it back to Philly, if that would get her to get a new appreciation and love for the MAWL Universe when she makes her way home. It's just made her more egotistical.
Arvin: It's only ego if you can't back it up, and Morgan Maverick can absolutely back it up. She is not only top 5 in talent in that entire locker room, she's also top 5 in income thanks to Zora Luthor. The Morgan you met was looking for her next meal ticket. This one can buy Opera tickets.
Kendra: We'll see her in action later tonight. In the meantime we've got a whole pile of a card to get through so let's keep it going.
SOLEMN GUARDIAN AND GOLDBERG VS BLOOD DRAWN AND RAGNARRR
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!
Goldberg storms onto the entrance way and growls on the stage, calling up fireworks on either side of him with a roar.
Ash: First! From Oklahoma, weighing 284 pounds, GOLDBERG!
Kendra: The man would have been well served to stay home and recover his head after the loss to Capybara last week, but Goldberg does not know how to pass up a fight.
Colin: He could be putting himself at risk, and the smartest move would honestly be to have his partner do most of the fighting.
Black smoke covers the front view when Guardian walks out. Ominous bells and ringing with the hiss of snakes the cawwing of ravens and soft chanting can be heard.
Ash: And his partner! From Huntington, West Virginia, weighing in at 165 pounds, the SOLEMN GUARDIAN.
Guardian walks down the ramp slowly carrying a tome, cold air surrounding him as he comes.
Guardian enters the ring.
Colin: Guardian last week almost had a true rain of destruction brought upon him except that Moon rescued him from the man about to come out, which evened them out from Guardian rescuing him at Taxiderby.
Kendra: This match was already set for this week, but Guardian and Moon are set to team next week against this man coming out now.
The arena goes dark, and the sound of a slow, ominous drumbeat fills the air before this theme music begins. A blood-red spotlight illuminates the stage as he slowly makes his way to the ring.
Ash: And their opponents! First! From Steelhaven, weighing in at 285 pounds, BLOOD DRAWN!
Colin: The rivalry between Blood Drawn and Solemn Guardian continues on, with some extra backup. If you're Blood, do you want to get your hands on the man who's frustrated you, or the man who gets a concussion from going in for a kiss too fast?
Kendra: I mean, Blood Drawn's frustration kicks in when the match ends too quickly so I feel like he wouldn't be satisfied squashing Goldberg.
He stares down the crowd with cold, predatory eyes before stepping into the ring and roaring to signal his dominance.
Ragnarrrr enters the arena driving a fancy vintage car Ragnarrrr is wearing a fancy cowboy leather attire decorated with tassels. On Ragnarrrr's side walks a very attractive diva Lights start to flicker all across the arena as Ragnarrrr gets in the ring.
Ash: And! From 9ja, weighing in at 176 pounds, RAGNARRR!
The bell rings.
Kendra: Makes sense that Blood Drawn and Solemn Guardian would be the first ones in. They circle each other, Running Shoulder Block by Blood and Solemn Guardian sent stumbling back. Blood pulls him by the feet and flings him away from his teammate and into a neutral corner.
Arvin: Smart play by Blood Drawn, who takes a charge into the corner and cannonball senton! Pulls Guardian up and starts to position him on the turnbuckle, Guardian with an ear slap! And slaps the other one, and a stiff punch to the face pushing Drawn back! Solidifies his position on the middle turnbuckle and double axe handle to Blood Drawn! Scoops him up for a body slam!
Colin: Drawn trips Guardian! Drawn crawling over and a body scissors...dragon sleeper! He's putting the hurt on Solemn Guardian whose face seems impassive but whose body is having a very bad day.
Kendra: But to your point from earlier, giving Goldberg too much space in a match could potentially prove detrimental to his health, so Guardian has to be running a calculus at all times in addition to trying to keep himself in the match. Right now though Guardian just has to think about fighting out of this and he's trying to get to the ropes but Drawn rotates them and moves him away from the rope.
Arvin: Blood Drawn is so known for his brutality that people forget he's an excellent technical wrestler. But I have to say, these people expected a slam bam match from these four, not a submission match.
Colin: Well, they may get their wish, Solemn powering up and lifting Blood Drawn up and The Conciliation! Going for the pin-
1!
Kendra: Ragnarrr stops the count with a stomp to the back of Guardian. Ragnarrr and Blood Drawn with a double chokeslam to Guardian! That feels like Overkill and HERE COMES GOLDBERG WITH A SPEAR TAKING RAGNARRR OUT OF THE RING! Guardian with a solid punch to the head and one to the gut of Blood, coming off the ropes for an axe kick and Blood Drawn evades! Uranage!! Blood tags Ragnarrr in.
Colin: Ragnarrr rocks Guardian with a Blue Thunder Bomb!! Going for the pin-
1!
2!
Arvin: Guardian kicks! Ragnarrr picks Guardian up by the head and HEADBUTT BY GUARDIAN! Guardian off the ropes and Axe kick to Ragnarrr!
Kendra: I hate to say that Guardian may have to tag soon, we've been trying to avoid that. Guardian pulls Ragnarrr up by the hair and HITS HIM WITH A CHOKESLAM! Guardian taking a moment and you don't turn your back or you get hit by a chop block! Ragnarrr brings Guardian down to the mat, dragging him by the legs and sharpshooter!
Arvin: This will teach you all to put RRRESPECT on his name!
Colin: Goldberg runs in with a boot and takes Ragnarrr off his partner! And a boot to Blood Drawn! Goldberg back out to the apron to receive the tag and there it is! GOLDBERG WITH THE SPINEBUSTER TO RAGNARRR! GOING FOR THE PIN-
1!
2!
Kendra: Blood Drawn able to make it in with the save! Blood out to the apron to receive the tag and Ragnarrr reaching out - NO GOLDBERG RELEASE GERMANS RAGNARRR BACK TOWARDS THE CENTER OF THE RING! RAGNARRR ROLLS BACK TO THE CORNER, HERE COMES THE SPEAR AND GOLDBERG TAKES THE RUN, RAGNARRR MISSES AND GOLDBERG HITS THE POST!
Arvin: Great ring knowledge by the Norseman, Ragnarrr gets him up in a Vertical Suplex, wait can he be, JACKHAMMER! JACKHAMMER TO GOLDBERG!
1!
2!
Colin: Guardian saves his partner with an Axe Hammer! Out to the apron, Goldberg tags in to Guardian and Guardian going for the charge didn't see that Ragnarrr tags AND RED TIDE SPINEBUSTER BY BLOOD DRAWN!! THIS COULD BE IT!!
1!
2!
Kendra: Guardian kicks!! Guardian kicks Blood Drawn in the stomach and going for the Holy Precipice BLOOD DRAWN GETS HIM UP AND A MICHINOKU DRIVER! THE PIN-
1!
2!
TH-NO!
Colin: Blood Drawn's reversal was certainly impressive but it does not get the job done. Blood Drawn scoops up Solemn Guardian into a Fireman's Cutter and taking the spin into the CU-NO BLOOD DRAWN TURNS IT INTO THE HOLY PRECIPICE!
1!
2!
3!
Solemn Guardian and Goldberg win by Pinfall!
Ash: Here are your winners! The Solemn Guardian and Goldberg!
Colin: You can't take away from anyone in this match, it was an exercise in brutality, tenacity, and pinpoint accuracy.
Arvin: And Goldberg didn't get a concussion! Truly am-
Goldberg walks to the table and pulls Arvin over the booth.
Kendra: Oh man, here we go again.
Colin: ARVIN GETS JACKHAMMERED THROUGH THE CROATIAN ANNOUNCERS' TABLE!
Kendra: And the list for Arvin grows.
Colin: He should be happy that he's getting to travel the world.
Kendra: Well, to fill our third seat, please welcome Philly's own Kat Dennings!
Kat: What's the good word, baby birds?
Kendra: I didn't know you were a wrestling fan.
Kat: Oh yeah, sparkly outfits and attitude, what's not to love?
Colin: Alright then! As Arvin recovers, we're gonna move to our next match, where Manta Ray takes on Rufus of the Psycho Supremacy.
Kendra: Actually, I'm receiving word that Manta Ray is still recovering from the attack by Mal Sangre and has been moved to the local hospital, the same one that I'm told Diddy and 50 are in. So Rufus's opponent now is a mystery.
RUFUS REEVE VS ??
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Rufus comes out dressed in a tan and red trench coat, and brown leather pants. A silhouette of a man with a bunch of faces scrolling above it. He says nothing. No microphone, no theatrics. Just his presence.
Ash: First! Representing the Psycho Supremacy. From Berlin, Germany, weighing 214 pounds, RUFUS REEVE!
Rufus marches to the ring rolling his neck and wrists, then nodding his head, and trying to amp up the crowd. He climbs onto the apron, and climbs the turnbuckle throwing up an arm. He jumps down from the turnbuckle. Then in an unsuspecting twist, he slyly turns to the hard cam, while pulling an exaggerated face, and slowly and continually moves out of frame of the hard cam, as if he's trying to dodge its view.
Bianca Diaz comes out punching the ground, which causes purple plumes of fire shoot out symmetrically from her outward.
Ash: And his opponent! Representing Zora Luthor International, from Miami, Florida, the Sellout Siren, BIANCA DIAZ!
The bell rings.
Colin: And ZLI taking advantage of the situation here to further their attacks on the Psycho Supremacy. Nero and Red Ghost later today will be continuing this war.
Kendra: Rufus has to alter his game plans, he was going into this match expecting Manta Ray. But if there's anything that Rufus is good at it's adapting to his opponent.
Kat: Adapting is important, but there's a process to that. I know when I'm handed new lines, I can get there, but I have to recalibrate the ol' ticker here, so Bianca should take that opportunity to strike quick before he figures her out.
Colin: I think you're right, and Bianca starts with a leg sweep! She takes it right to the leg of Rufus! And grabbing the right ankle, STOMPS on the back of Rufus's knee as she drives it to the ground. Another Knee Smash and Stomp!
Kat: This is not what we mean by "break a leg!"
Kendra: Two of Rufus's signature moves make use of his knees, so she knows she's taking away a big part of his arsenal by doing that. It's sadistic, but I have to admit it's smart.
Colin: And she holds the leg up straight and now focusing on the side of the knee! She's pushing it every which way! Rufus struggling, but also you can see he's starting to read the room a little bit as Bianca bends his leg back into a single crab.
Kendra: Bianca sees in his eyes that he's starting to register, smashes his leg back onto the mat! Over to the face and FACE WASH! Rufus looks disoriented!
Kat: Fascinating! It's almost like she found a Change Settings Button.
Colin: That's honestly a good way to put it...and Rufus trying to get a spin kick in and she ducks! She's got that leg locked again! He's screaming in pain! She yanks with a quick jerk, like she's trying to pull it out of its socket! Rufus makes it to the ropes and Andra starting the count... BIANCA LIFTS THE LEG WAY ABOVE HER HEAD AND DRIVES IT FULL FORCE INTO THE MAT!
Kat: OHHH THAT POPPED.
Kendra: Rufus gets himself to the turnbuckle to take stock of the situation, and Diaz with a sick smile on her face...RUNNING HIP PRESS! Rufus is disoriented again.
Colin: That's not a normal move in Bianca's arsenal... she seems to have been studying Rufus and knows his trigger points.
Kat: LOL, "Arse"nal.
Kendra: Rufus starting to get the audience clapping along, he looks like he's going Kofi! Barreling towards Bianca and actually lands a Trouble in Paradise kick! Rufus increasing speed now, and for the first time Bianca is on the defensive.
Colin: She's doing everything she can to parry him and she's avoiding most things but can't keep totally away...and quickly that frustration turns into a plan, she ducks him and...taunting? She does a little arm roll and shoots her arm up - OH! SHE CAUGHT RUFUS IN THE PROCESS! RIGHT IN THE NOSE!
Kendra: Oh that's disrespectful, the pouty "oops?" face. Rufus is stopped in his tracks! He's...he's going Monster Heel? Trying to lift Bianca up in a One Arm Chokeslam, but he's struggling to get her up and she kicks out the back of the leg that she's been working this whole time. She's got a twisting Achilles lock on Rufus! He's really struggling and she's twisting it quickly in the other direction! Rufus trying to make it to the ropes, she yanks him back with a quickness and he taps!
Bianca Diaz wins by Submission!
Ash: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, THE SELLOUT SIREN! BIIIIIANCA DIIIIAZ!
Kendra: She adapted to the adapter and shut him down at every turn.
Colin: She was completely dialed in to every nuance and element of Rufus. She knew how to shift him and where to target him.
Kat: Respect to Bianca, not enough women are willing to just go in there and put the hurt on someone and have fun doing it. I give her props for that performance.
Colin: She truly does relish the pain of others.
Kendra: And so do the next two people.
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE
SCOTT RAZOR VS JAY THE JOKER
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall which can take place anywhere! There are no disqualifications and the only way to win is pinfall or submission!
The camera’s return to the Eagles' stadium as the fans in attendance cheer in the excitement of being on TV. The lights in the arena progressively, but quickly dim until there is a slight darkness hanging over the arena. The opening riffs of “Wherever I May Roam” by Metallica begins to play from the speakers and plumes of smoke can be seen filling the centre of the stage.
The darkness remains through the intro, before the song drops and a spotlight shines on the center of the stage, revealing a silhouette of a man within the mist clutching a bat. He lifts the bat and points it towards the ring, the tip of it emerging from the shroud.
As the song picks up pace, he cuts through the smoke by swiping upwards and emerges from it, standing at the top of the stage as red and white lights weave their way around the crowd like serpents - who respond with feverish anticipation.
Ash: Introducing first, weighing in at 336 pounds, he is The Bully of Bullies - SCOOOOTTT RAAAAAZOOR!!
He begins to stride forward towards the ring confidently with his bat hanging over his shoulder. He calmly walks up the ring steps, entering the ring and faces each side of the arena with his bat raised in the air, shouting ferociously. He finally turns to wait for/face his opponent.
Joker walks out slowly with Purple and Green lights gleaming, Carrying his iconic crowbar everywhere he goes. Harley Quinn right behind him carrying her baseball bat.
Ash: And his opponent! Accompanied by Harley Quinn, from Gotham City, weighing in at 160 pounds, JAY THE JOKER!
The bell rings.
Colin: Joker and Scott circling each other with their weapons brandished, Scott's got his bat and Joker's got his crowbar. Scott goes for a head swing and Joker evades. Joker swings his crowbar and Scott blocks with the bat! Scott swings again and Joker dodges but Scott is a step ahead this time, spins the bat around and slams the bat down on Joker's arms!
Kendra: Smart swerve by Scott and Joker almost drops the crowbar! Scott hammers it down on the arms again and Joker drops the crowbar! Scott uppercuts with the bat! Scott swings the bat around and into the ribs! Scott puts the bat down for the moment and sidewalk slam to Jay! Scott stomps out the stomach of Jay the Joker. And Joker gets his hands back on the crowbar and hooks Scott's leg!
Kat: It's not a savory play, it's not a sweet play, Scott's just eating crow.
Colin: Joker swinging his crowbar around and smashes Scott's leg with it again! Joker lays the crowbar between Scott's ankles and stomps down!
Kat: People are treatin' their attacks like their fast food chicken, just goin' for the legs.
Kendra: Joker stomps down again! Joker off the ropes and going for the leg drop... Scott moves and Joker gets a suppository from the hook of the crowbar! Scott stomps down to drive it in and then locks in a Rear Naked Choke!!
Colin: Joker refusing to give in, and just fighting to get to the ropes.
Kendra: He can't rope break though, it's falls count anywhere.
Kat: No but he can get close to his boo and Harley starting to drive the knob of the bat into the face of Razor! Razor refusing to let go, and Harley switches to the other side of the bat, just smashes the bat directly into the side of Scott's temple. Looks like he's letting go now.
Colin: Joker takes this opportunity to grab Scott Razor by his beard and drag him to the corner! Scott is firmly set up in the struggle bus now, Joker smashes the head of Scott Razor repeatedly into the turnbuckle! Jay the Joker up to the turnbuckle and brings Scott up with him.... SUPERPLEX TO THE OUTSIDE BY JAY THE JOKER! Scott hits the steps on the way down!
Kendra: Joker back up to the apron, climbing towards the middle turnbuckle and Coffin Drop to Scott!
Colin: Joker scoops Scott up and powerslam back onto the steps! Pumphandle powerbomb from the steps to the ground and Joker goes for the pin-
1!
Kendra: Scott Razor kicks, not even a 2.
Colin: Razor pulls Joker up with a double chokeslam! Razor picks Joker up by his neck and prepares to release him and Harley catches him in the back with her bat! Razor throws Joker at Harley! Harley slips Joker some knuckles, they don't have to be that sneaky in this match, there's no dq.
Kat: I imagine it's the love of the sneak.
Kendra: Joker comes around and punch with the knuckles! Joker's Last Laugh!
1!
2!
Kendra: Maybe not the LAST laugh, Razor's back to his feet. Razor does seem a little bit punch drunk now, but he's makin' it happen cap'n. Jay the Joker takes another big swing with that brass knuckles, Razor with the duck, Joker swing and a miss! Razor capitalizes on the mistake with the Orton Backbreaker! And parlaying that into an Argentine Hold, Down into the Inverted Samoan! Going for the cover-
1!
2!
TH-NO! Joker is up.
Kat: Can't keep the clown down!
Colin: Joker going for the headbutt! And multiple times more, but they don't seem to be impacting Razor all that much. Or if they are he's refusing to let it show. Razor sends him spiraling back with a headbutt of his own! Razor rolls into the ring and grabs his bat! Right to the midsection of the Joker! I think we may be gearing up for a Cauldron Frenzy!
The titantron flickers on to show grainy footage of Scott Razor in his car. We already know what song is coming.
Colin: Oh that's just mean! It gets Scott's attention - Joker gets his bat! Harley and Joker taking swings from each side of Scott! And they look at each other, simultaneous swings and sandwiching the temples of Scott Razor!
Kendra: Boy, Currency Cartel sure do not like being told No.
Kat: And Mister Jumbles going for the pin-
1!
2!
3!
Jay the Joker wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner - JAY THE JOKER!
Colin: Was that Scott Razor's first loss with the assist of the Currency Cartel? Was that Jay the Joker's first solo win? We'd have to go to the record books to say for sure. But what we can say for sure is that Scott is not going to take this down lightly.
Kendra: Currency Cartel have just poked a bear that has already given a warning growl, and Scott is clearly steaming and scheming.
Kat: Gonna be crazy for sure what happens next. Speakin' of next, what we got goin' on?
Colin: La Family and La Sangre Maldita two on two.
Kat: Ah the Gangers vs the Fangers in a La La Land Banger!
ALESSIA ROMANO AND LUIS DIAZ VS LA SANGRE MALDITA
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall.
The Anti-Corruption Limo pulls up. The door opens to Alessia Romano and Luis Diaz.
Ash: First! Representing La Family, Luis Diaz and Alessia Romano!
Colin: These two will be entering the insane Danger Room in just two weeks and are hoping to come out of it with a title shot.
Kendra: Hell, they'd be lucky to get out of it in one piece.
Kat: Wouldn't you want them in two pieces? If they came out in one piece I'd be worried.
Kendra: That's... okay, yeah, point taken.
Superstar Davy Boy and Sombras walk out with the belts held up high.
Ash: And their opponents, the MAWL Tag Team Champions, Sombras and Superstar Davy Boy, LA SANGRE MALDITA!
The bell rings.
Colin: Davy and Luis to start. Davy with a quick whip to Luis, Luis ducks the clothesline and comes back around with a spin kick and Davy stutters back! Luis with a quick kick combo and it's all Davy can do to blockade it, Luis goes to wrap it up with the Enziguiri and Davy rejects! Duck and catches Luis with a release Belly to Back! Stomping out Luis and gets the legs, lifting up for an Alabama Slam!
Kendra: There's a non-zero chance this could be the Title Match at International Incident, if LSM can fend off Spirit Crusher and Family takes the Danger Room Match.
Colin: For sure, but those are both BIG IFS, as Spirit Crusher has shown incredible resilience and dominance and took the win against them before, and Romano and Diaz are District 8, which means 7 teams before them will get to pick their weapons, a crucial part of strategy in an all-out war like that.
Kat: Can you even have a strategy when 22 other people are comin' down to beat you up? Or is strategy basically don't die?
Kendra: Yeah, that basically covers it.
Colin: Davy tags in Sombras, Sombras springboards in and hard landing on Luis Diaz with that springboard Senton! Sombras off the ropes and Rolling Thunder Elbow Drop. Sombras looks to be going for a diving splash and Luis rolls towards the side of the ring, Sombras meets him over there with a basement dropkick through the ropes!
Kat: How'd he get there so fast? Are there two of them? Like Scream?
Kendra: It's the magic of Sombras.
Kat: Rad.
Colin: The basement dropkick lands Luis draped on the ropes and Sombras coming up around for a 619, Luis gets his right arm free and swats at the legs like a tetherball! He spins Sombras back around and pulls him into a double knee backbreaker! Luis with a soccerball kick to the back of Sombras, lifting the head up with his foot and Black Mass Kick! Luis gives for the tag to Alessia, Alessia picks Sombras up by the back of the neck and reverse chokeslam!! Alessia hitting a deadlift German, and going for the pin-
1!
2!
Kendra: Sombras out of the pin and already off the ropes, hits a huge dropkick to Alessia! Sombras back from the other end and a backbreaker through the ropes! Up to the top rope, GOING FOR THE SILENT CURSE AND NO!! ALESSIA EVADES! ALESSIA HITS SOMBRAS WITH A RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! ALESSIA PICKS SOMBRAS UP AND INTO A MILITARY PRESS-
Colin: The Masked MAWLER is back and a lead pipe to the back of Alessia's knees! She crumples down and Sombras lands on her for the pin! Luis going for the Masked one instead of rescuing Alessia!
1!
2!
3!
Sombras and Superstar Davy Boy win by Pinfall!
Ash: Here are your winners, Sombras and Superstar Davy Boy, La Sangre Maldita!
Kat: Luis chasin' down the Masked One and a Tackle! Pulling down the hood and-
Colin: Oh no. Oh no no no.
Kat: Why, who's this?
Colin: That's Schmetterling's villain era mask. We haven't seen him in a while, and it's possible he may have gone back to the darkness.
Kendra: If that's the case we're all in trouble.
Colin: And speaking on cases, Los Heroes made a case earlier in this press conference prior to the match you're about to witness.
Scene opens in front of a hastily thrown-together press backdrop—MAWL logos on one side, a giant stack of uneaten pancakes on the other. There’s a podium that looks suspiciously like it was borrowed from a middle school awards ceremony. Dozens of local journalists, podcasters, and confused breakfast enthusiasts are in attendance.
Enter El Gallito Loco, wearing a neck brace, sunglasses over his mask again, and a clip-on tie over a ketchup-stained T-shirt that says “I Survived Brunch.”
Behind him, Tortuga de Acero waddles out slowly, wrapped in gauze and dragging an oversized legal binder labeled "THE PEOPLE VS. SYRUP-BASED VIOLENCE."*
Gallito:
“Ahem. My name… is El Gallito Loco. And I come to you today not as a champion… but as a victim.”
Tortuga:
“Of brunch-based brutality.”
Gallito:
“On the morning of last Sunday’s charity brunch—where we were promised waffles, fruit, and a peaceful atmosphere—we were violently ambushed by two men suffering from what I can only describe as... an ego allergy to syrup.”
Journalist raises hand.
Reporter:
“Do you mean the MAWLiwood Blondes?”
Gallito:
“Allegedly. I will not speak their names until we have our day in court. Or at least… at the next tag show.”
He pulls out a rumpled napkin covered in scribbled notes.
Gallito:
“We are hereby filing a formal complaint against:
- The Blondes
- The buffet table
- The chocolate fountain
- Whoever was dressed as the syrup mascot
- The DJ who kept playing Pitbull while we were bleeding.”
Tortuga (stepping forward with binder):
“This is our 117-page legal case, written mostly in crayon and rage. We are demanding:
A rematch
Free waffles for life
Emotional compensation in the form of fan art
And a legally binding apology signed in blueberry ink.”
Gallito:
“My mask is still sticky. I can't even blink properly.”
Suddenly, a MAWLiwood Blondes PR rep enters the room.
He hands them a “settlement” envelope. Gallito opens it. Inside: two autographed Blondes headshots… and a coupon for $5 off a smoothie.
Gallito:
“They think this will silence us?!”
Tortuga:
“…Actually, this place is good.”
Gallito:
“No! We demand justice! We will see them in the ring—or at the very least, on Yelp!”
Gallito slams the binder closed.
Tortuga takes a sip from a “Justice is Sweet” coffee mug.
The press goes wild.
Gallito:
“This isn’t about food anymore. This is about respect. And revenge.”
Tortuga:
“And maybe toast.”
Colin: This is the most frustrated - irate even - we've seen Los Heroes since they started here.
Kat: Well if there's one thing that Los Heroes, Harley Quinn, and I can agree on is you don't mess with breakfast. You just don't do it.
Kendra: It's truly the great unifier. Take my pancakes at your peril. And now it looks like they might get their attempt at revenge.
MAWLIWOOD BLONDES VS LOS HEROES DE LA CALLE
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!
El Gallito Loco sprints to the ring, flapping his arms like wings-
while Tortuga de Acero shuffles behind, slowly waving to the crowd.
Ash: First! At a combined weight of 300 pounds, Tortuga de Acero and El Gallito Loco, Los Heroes de la Calle!!!
El Gallito runs back to drag Tortuga to the ring. Once inside, they pose dramatically, with El Gallito striking martial arts poses while Tortuga hides behind his "shell."
Kendra: Los Heroes have been looking for recompense since their quick loss on the 28th, thought they were gonna get it last week and got stuck with two other , and then MAWLIWOOD further embarrassed them at the Pancake Charity Brunch.
The ramp displays a red carpet video as Mark Anderson and Winston Lewis strut out to the stage, posing for paparazzi.
Ash: And their opponents, representing Team Superstarz, from Hollywood, California, their agents have forbidden me from reporting on their combined weights, Red Carpet Mark Anderson, High Risk Winston Lewis, the MAWLIWOOD BLONDES!
Before entering the ring, Mark pulls back an imaginary velvet rope, "allowing" Winston in first before following with a smirk.
Colin: Los Heroes looking more determined than ever to get their pay-
Elisa Mae struts out.
Elisa: Stupid chicken. Did you really think I was just going to give you the match you wanted because you get sad about some flapjacks?
Kat: What's happening now?
Elisa: No, no, we only have half this match in the ring. This... is a Fatal Four Corners Match!
The arena dims, and a hushed reverence fills the air as the haunting notes of "Ave Maria" begin to play, slow and measured, enveloping the crowd in an aura of grace and power. The opening chords echo throughout the arena, and the anticipation builds to a fever pitch.
First, Renaud Lavillenie steps out, his presence commanding the attention of the crowd.
He’s dressed in his red, white, and blue singlet, the vibrant colors reflecting under the lights as he walks with the poise of a tactician about to engage in a battle of minds. His focused eyes pierce the crowd as he strides down the ramp, every movement calculated, as if he’s already assessing the ring and his opponent. The arena feels smaller, the air thicker with every step he takes. Reaching the ring, he climbs the steps, placing one hand on the ropes, preparing to enter the battlefield with military precision.
Moments later, Marion Bartoli, his partner, makes his entrance.
Clad in a blue and gold singlet, his athletic frame exudes power and determination. His movements are composed and deliberate, like a chess player positioning their pieces for the final checkmate. The crowd watches in awe as Marion’s gaze never wavers from the ring, his mind always in control, calculating each move before it even happens. As he approaches the ring, his pace quickens ever so slightly, his confidence growing as he steps forward. Upon reaching the ring, he exchanges a silent nod with Renaud, the bond between them clear as they prepare to unleash their tactical mastery.
Ash: Ladies, theydies, and gentlemen, this match is about to be graced by the presence of one of the most tactical and precise teams to ever step into this ring…
With a combined weight of 455 pounds…
From Paris, France…
First, standing 6'4" tall, weighing 225 pounds, ‘The Master of Precision,’ RENAUD LAVILLENIE!
"And his partner, standing 6'3" tall, weighing 230 pounds, ‘The Art of Submission,’ MARION BARTOLI!
"Together, they are…
**LE LUTTEUR!”
Kendra: They're at least better suited to this match than to the Danger Room.
Donna Matrix is out first and cracks her cat o' nine tails made of ethernet cables.
Donna: Phildelphia. Your entire world, your reality, is breaking, cracking like an old bell, before your very eyes. You have no chance to try to rescue it, you have no chance to try to unsee it, or avoid it, or forget it. There is no going back and there is no safeword. What you feel running through your veins right now. It starts with fear, then curiosity, then a tingling, and then a realization, culminating in freedom and ecstasy. What you feel running through your veins...is...not meat, it is not cheese, it is not bread, it. Is. VENOM. I, Donna Matrix, am here to make you submit to your new reality, and the man you are about to meet is here to break your old one.
Bowen Baneclaw steps onto the stage and stomps it, green plumes of smoke arising.
Ash: AND, Bowen Baneclaw and Donna Matrix, the VENOM CARTEL!
The audience boos as the green plumes of smoke follow them down the ramp and they enter the ring. The bell rings.
Colin: So once again, Los Heroes is not going to get their revenge in a pure way.
Kat: Revenge is revenge, right? So they can get their hands on each other here still if they focus.
Kendra: Technically right, but you underestimate the wiliness of the MAWLiwood Blondes.
Colin: We've got Anderson, Gallito, Baneclaw, and Lavillenie. Gallito going for Anderson, Anderson gets quickly behind Baneclaw and Baneclaw stonewalls Gallito with a big boot. Gallito takes a huge tumble back. Lavillenie looking for that pocket, making his move, the Master of Precision trying to get his link in.
Kendra: Baneclaw picking Gallito up by the neck and two-handed chokeslam!
Kat: Chokin' the chicken.
Kendra: Ummm. Sure. Bowen gets Gallito into a piledriver! Lavillenie takes advantage of this and gets in a cross-face on Gallito! Gallito is already deeply in trouble and the match is just started. Anderson spins Bowen around and High Angle German!
Colin: Anderson throws Bowen into his corner and going for the tag to Lewis! Anderson holding Bowen for Lewis, Lewis to the top and going for a diving clothesline AND BOWEN MOVES! Anderson and Lewis collide with each other. Lavillenie still has the cross-face locked in, Gallito flailing about wildly and it's possible he's tapped but his hands are too wild to tell for sure.
Kendra: Tortuga reaching for a tag and Gallito trying to get his wild wings over to his partner.
Kat: You can do it chicken man! YES! He tags in Tortuga.
Tortuga: ¡Tortuuuuuuuga de Aceeerrrrrrro!
Colin: Diving Headbutt! Turtle Takedown! Going for a pin on Lavillenie-
1!
Kendra: Renaud gets the shoulder up. Tortuga gets said shoulder and starts to wrench! Tortuga gets a knee on Renaud's head and intensifying the lock. Renaud trying to get to the ropes and Tortuga intentionally yanking him backwards.
Colin: Bowen crushes Lewis's back against his knee! Marion Bartoli comes in with a running basement clothesline and Tortuga pushed to release the hold. Renaud going for a tag and Bowen with an STO to stop him.
Kendra: Bowen lifts Renaud up over his head, tags Donna Matrix and Donna up to the top rope, taking a big jump and stomp to Renaud! Going for the pin-
1!
2!
TH-NO!
Kat: Okay queen, go off.
Colin: Renaud trying once again to go for a tag to Marion and Donna Matrix locks in a Cobra Clutch to pull away Renaud! Tortuga building up himself and going at Winston Lewis with a spear, Lewis flips over him and Tortuga out through the ropes!
Kendra: Renaud reaching for a tag and Donna with an inverted suplex gets him to the center of the ring! Crippler Crossface!
Kat: Renaud's just gotta learn to do for himself at this point. Bowen outside hitting Tortuga with a huge Spinebuster on the Steps! Here comes Gallito across the ring and Crazy Coop Dive to the Outside! He takes out Bowen!! Gallito picking Tortuga up WINSTON LEWIS WITH A HUGE BODY SPLASH AT THEM BOTH!
Kendra: Lewis under the apron....he's grabbing...it looks like a box of frozen waffles? He empties the waffle box right in front of Los Heroes! He sticks the empty box on Gallito's head!! Taking a run and a STOMP TO GALLITO ON THE STEPS! Going back under the apron! He HAS A BOTTLE OF SYRUP! Tortuga on his feet and SPEARS LEWIS INTO THE SIDE OF THE STEPS!
Colin: The binder clearly said they were against Syrup-Based Violence.
Kendra: Well, you're not wrong. In the ring, Renaud's reversed Donna's hold and has her in a front headlock. Donna barely struggling, Renaud wrenches back and locking the arm! He's bending her back and truly putting some pressure, getting her almost 90 degrees.
Kat: She's whip smart, she'll figure it out.
Colin: The others have done an excellent job of keeping Marion Bartoli out but I have to wonder if that's going to backfire once he's in as the freshest in the ring.
Kendra: Tortuga starting to climb back into the ring, here comes Anderson to boot him back down off the Apron.
Colin: The pins and submission don't count outside so dropping the turtle on his back outside isn't gonna do much of much. El Gallito running down Anderson and hits him with a Peck! Springboard Asai to Anderson! And Gallito with a running headscissors to Lewis!
Kendra: They've been having some issues lately with communication and getting on the same page but you have to agree that Los Heroes has each others' backs. Tortuga into the ring where Lavillenie has Donna Matrix bent more than 90 degrees and Donna is just humming!
Kat: Her line of work, pain is pleasure. They're not going to be too successful in making her tap.
Colin: Renaud clearly disgusted by this turn of events as he lets her go and TAG TO MARION BARTOLI! MARION IN LIKE A CHEATEAU ET FLAMBÉ! KING'S THROW TO TORTUGA! KING'S THROW TO DONNA MATRIX! LEWIS ATTEMPTING TO GET IN THE RING AND IS GREETED WITH A KING'S THROW AS WELL! GOING FOR THE REGAL PLEX TO TORTUGA-
1!
2!
Kat: Who says Chickens can't fly!
Kendra: Crazy Coop Dive breaks up the pin! Tortuga directs El Gallito out so he can get the tag, Gallito complies and tagged in! Here comes that rowdy rooster! And - wait- Anderson has a bottle of Hope Spot Serum and Gallito is trying to fight the urge, that hesitation is all Lewis needs to roll him up!
1!
2!
3!
El Gallito Loco is eliminated by High Risk Winston Lewis!
Tortuga de Acero enters the match.
Kendra: Tortuga back in the match after only a second of respite and he tries to stop Gallito from falling off the wagon meaning his eyes are also off the prize!! Winston rolls him up as well!
1!
2!
3!
Tortuga de Acero is eliminated by High Risk Winston Lewis!
Kat: Don't do drugs, kids.
Colin: And we're down to three teams. Lewis tags in Anderson. Anderson pulling Donna Matrix in for the Ripcord Spinning Elbow! Snap DDT and Donna gets the VIP Treatment! The pin-
1!
2!
Kendra: Donna gets her shoulder up but just barely. Donna goes the tag and Bowen is in! Bowen hits a running DDT to Marion Bartoli, spins around and Russian Leg Sweep to to Anderson! Bowen locks in the Sharpshooter on Anderson and you can see Anderson starting to fade, here comes Lewis to the rescue, from the top and a diving front dropkick to take Bowen off the hold!
Kat: Aim like Hawkeye, that one.
Colin: Anderson using that opportunity now to drive down Baneclaw with that Premiere Backbreaker! Anderson taking a moment to preen and Donna takes that moment to get him across the face with that Ethernet Cable o' Nine Tails! And Bowen takes him up for the Electric Chair Driver! Going for the pin-
1!
2!
TH-Winston saves with a double axe handle!
Kendra: These teams continue to completely be cohesive, and other than Los Heroes everyone is still here. Marion and Renaud focusing on precise strikes and long holds rather than being in the mix at all times and that might be serving them well.
Colin: They're District 9 at the Pay Per View which puts them that at a huge disadvantage, as their fighting style is not multi-battle appropriate necessarily, but if they can use a similar strategy and stay mostly under the radar, they have a good shot of making it far if not taking it.
Kat: That's the Perks of being a Wallflower.
Kendra: Yep. And here Bowen going after Lewis and leaving Anderson wide open, Marion Bartoli with the Regal Plex!
1!
2!
3!
Red Carpet Mark Anderson is eliminated by Marion Bartoli!
High Risk Winston Lewis enters the match.
Kat: Gallito's back baby!
Colin: And he's throwing Mark Anderson into the barricade! And he's throwing Anderson into the steps! This has Lewis's attention and Lewis starting to come after his partner - Marion grabs him from behind by the waist and he's carrying him over to the Le Lutteur Corner!! Tag in to Renaud and MASSIVE GERMAN! RENAUD HAS THE ARMBAR IN! LEWIS IS UNDER PARISIAN LOCKDOWN!!
Kendra: Renaud tightens that armbar.... Here comes Bowen and Bowen tosses Marion Bartoli out of the ring like a bouncer at a nightclub! Donna Matrix whip in hand and walking over towards Marion-OH! WHIP TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! SHE MOVES IN CLOSER AND WHIP TO THE BACK! BARTOLI IS GETTING LASHED OUT THERE!
Kat: Divide and Conquer. That's how ya gotta do it. She's really handy with that whip, I gotta say.
Kendra: Le Lutteur are gonna have to be able to fight more brutally like this if they want any chance at all at Mayday. Donna's now got the whip around the neck of Marion and yanking as she presses her knee into those lashes.
Colin: Winston Lewis still trying to fight out of that armbar and this match has become a massacre. Winston trying for the ropes and Renaud flips him towards the center of the ring, keeping that armbar in tight! Winston can't do it anymore and he's tapping!
High Risk Winston Lewis is eliminated by Renaud Lavillenie!
Kat: It's down to the Parisian and the Poisonous! And there ain't gonna be much left of Marion Bartoli if Donna doesn't let up soon.
Colin: Bowen Baneclaw rocks Renaud with that Snap Suplex! Picking Renaud up by the back of his neck and just absolutely driving him to the ground with a Reverse Chokeslam! Trying to get that Sharpshooter in now, wrapping the legs around and Renaud kicks at Bowen! He keeps the kicks goin'!
Kat: Wow Colin, you're a poet and you weren't even aware!
Kendra: Renaud successfully kicking Bowen away and to his feet, Renaud grabs Bowen's ankle into an Achilles Lock! Renaud wrenching Bowen's ankle and Bowen trying to kick away with his free foot! Renaud trying to take down Bowen the same way he took down Winston Lewis and shifting him 90 degrees, BOWEN WITH AN ENZIGUIRI AND UP WITH THE ELECTRIC CHAIR DRIVER!!
1!
2!
Colin: Renaud reverses into a roll-up!
1!
2!
TH-NO!
Colin: Bowen rolls out and Renaud beginning with the low kicks, focusing on the ankles and lower legs of Bowen, kicking out the back of the ankle, going for the sweep and Bowen jumps into an elevated Flatliner! Bowen going for a pin-
1!
2!
Kendra: Renaud refusing to fall, and these two aren't going to get any respite it seems like OH wait, Donna is back on the apron, Bowen whips Renaud into his corner, Bowen charging for a corner splash, Renaud hits him with a boot! There's that precision targeting again AND DONNA GETS HIM AROUND THE THROAT WITH THE WHIP! BOWEN RUNS INTO THE CORNER WITH THE BOOT AND RENAUD SPINNING OFF THE CORNER BOWEN INTO THE ELECTRIC DRIVER!
1!
2!
3!
Renaud Lavillenie is eliminated by Bowen Baneclaw!
Marion Bartoli enters the match, as thrown in by Donna Matrix.
Kat: Bowen with a 1 foot pin, what a troll move.
1!
2!
3!
Marion Bartoli is last eliminated by Bowen Baneclaw, making Venom Cartel your winners!
Ash: Here are your winners, The Neo-Dom Donna Matrix and Bowen Baneclaw, VENOM CARTEL!
Kendra: And they weren't even supposed to be here, this was scheduled to be a match between Los Heroes and MAWLIWOOD BLONDES, and they were the first two teams out.
Kat: That's how it goes, Mandy Rose.
Colin: Coming up, we've got JCM Ace continuing to take the fight to Psycho Supremacy with his intention on getting Nero to accept a title match, or a match in general.
Kendra: In the meantime, it's the rest of the Psycho Supremacy that is taking the beating. I think tonight, that honor goes to Jassy.
JCM ACE VS JASSY
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
The arena lights dim, with red and white strobes sweeping the crowd.
Ace walks down the ramp with calculated calm, his movements deliberate and his gaze unflinching.
Ash: First! From Florida, weighing in at 300 pounds, he is the Eurasian Champion, JCM ACE!
Some of the crowd boos. Some of the crowd chants "He's Coming!" JCM looks around, smirking, unbothered.
Midway down the ramp, he stops and examines the arena, eyes fixated on the prize.
He climbs into the ring with slow, deliberate movements, scanning the arena before leaning casually against the ropes, waiting for the bell to ring, championship loosely wrapped around his waist.
The arena is silent for a moment as they await Jassy's music.
Colin: I'm...I'm hearing that Jassy is refusing to come out for the match.
Kat: So...what happens now?
The arena fills with red smoke. Bloodswan comes out, with a pirouette into a jêté on the stage.
Ash: And his opponent! Representing Psycho Supremacy, from Moscow, Russia, the Most Dangerous Ballerina, Bloodswan!
Bloodswan moves to the ring with grace and intention. JCM Ace smirks as he watches this.
Kat: Look, if there's anything I know from my time in the MCU, it's to not underestimate ballerinas.
The bell rings.
Colin: JCM positively squashed both Rufus and Red Ghost, and the "you kidding me" on his face is obvious, he Irish Whips Bloodswan off the ropes and as she comes back around he goes for the armdrag and she lands on her toes, ducks a lariat attempt and with a flourish a leg sweep!
Kat: What'd I tell ya?
Kendra: Swan off the ropes again this time of her own accord, and comes back around, cartwheel and an elbow drop! Taking a trip to the nearby corner and jumps up to the middle rope, here comes the moonsault! Swan for a cover-
1!
Colin: JCM with the shoulder up at 1, Bloodswan already surpassing her compatriots in the fight against JCM Ace, it's bound to get harder from here for him. Bloodswan going for the armdrag now but JCM stops it in its tracks and snap DDT! JCM pulls her up by her arm and SNAP POWERSLAM! Going for the pin-
1!
Kat: Not her Swan Song just yet.
Kendra: JCM with a European Uppercut spinning Blood around, getting her ankle for the single leg crab and she somersaults out, off the ropes, coming back around and 360 degree Axe Kick! Going for a quick cover-
1!
Colin: JCM once again up quickly. But rubbing his chin, you can see he's got a bit of respect for Blood and the unexpected amount of fight she's putting up. By the time he gets to his feet, she's already off the rope and a pirouette, I think she may be going for the Swan Song, the jêté and here comes the knee JCM CATCHES HER INTO A SPINEBUSTER! Getting her up, and I think he may be taking this to the limit and scoops her up in a Samoan and here we go for the spin!
Kendra: This one is academic now, ACE BOMB!
1!
2!
Kendra: BLOODSWAN KICKS! BLOODSWAN KICKS FROM THE ACE BOMB!
Kat: Total control of her body and mind, you can see what that means here.
Colin: JCM not giving her a chance to get fully up, locks in the Pompano Clutch! Her compatriots have not been able to withstand this, and Bloodswan looks like the strugglebus has finally come for her, Bloodswan trying to make it to the ropes and JCM wrenches that hold tighter.
Kendra: Bloodswan is going to have to figure something out and is doing everything to contort her body, going into a bridge pin -
1!
2!
Colin: JCM's tried the Pompano, he's tried the Ace Bomb. You can see he's running the calculus and Bloodswan taking that moment to get herself back on the run, Pirouette RIGHT INTO ACE'S LOCKDOWN LARIAT!
1!
2!
3!
JCM Ace wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, JCM ACE!
Kendra: Ace continuing his dominance over the Psycho Supremacy.
Kat: So like supreme in their own minds?
Colin: "My mom says I'm supreme."
Kendra: As we continue the dominance tour, we have two intense competitors about to come out and play.
DANIEL VS JAMES D
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Loud-repeating booms fills the arena with big letter ‘D’ showing up in the titantron before it changes to ‘Daniel’ as the soundtrack Waiting - Not Forgotten played ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3HP8bog39Q ) through the PA.
Daniel walks slowly in his long coat through the ramp down to the ring.
Ash: FIRST! From Moultrie County, Illinois, weighing 284 pounsa, DANIEL!
His eyes are fixed and focused, locking on to his opponent. He climbs the steel stair and enters the ring through the 2nd rope. Finally he’s posing his Destroyer’s Roar with loud big banged pyros from the turnbuckle behind him.
Colin: Daniel's had the mask following him for some time and made its re-emergence last week. Daniel is convinced that he can do this without the mask.
As his theme music plays over the PA system, James holds back until the song kicks in and then makes his way out from behind the curtain. As he moves into the sight of the fans, he's met with boos but this just brings a smile to his face.
Ash: And his opponent! From New York City, weighing in at 190 pounds, the Most Interesting Man in the Woooorld, JAMES D!
The boos continue to rain down towards James but it doesn't phase him as he makes his way down the ramp. James rolls into the ring and then stands in the corner as he awaits his opponent's entrance.
The bell rings.
Kendra: Daniel throwing James D off the ropes, rollicks him with a big boot! James to his feet quickly, back off the ropes and Daniel catches him with a second boot! James up again, going for the run-
Kat: Definition of insanity.
Colin: James ducks the boot, coming back around and a bulldog! James taking advantage and back off the ropes and hits the senton! Going for a quick pin-
1!
Kendra: Daniel gets his shoulder up quickly, James maneuvering equally quickly to stomp Daniel in the head and keep him from fully rising and locking in a sleeperhold! Daniel's arm are flailing a bit but he's holding tight and trying to get to his feet, up and James brings him right back down into the hold.
Colin: Daniel making a second effort to get to his feet, this time more successful and back suplex to James! Daniel now with a triangle hold, the two operating on similar strategies but there's a difference in weight here of almost 100 pounds and this is a spot where that makes a considerable difference.
Kat: If you can't power out, how do you take someone that much bigger than you to task?
Kendra: You have three pathways you can take. One is getting to the ropes, depending on the hold that's probably your safest move. You can try to wriggle out of it like it's a tight sweater, but you risk potentially pulling or twisting something the wrong way. Or you can try to attack back in a more brawler way with whatever you can get free.
Colin: James taking Door C and throwing his body full force back into Daniel, even with that weight difference taking almost 200 pounds into the gut is going to pay some dividends, Daniel forced to break the hold! James leapfrogs over Daniel and springboard bulldog! Choosing not to go submission this go round and instead letting loose on the head of Daniel with frenetic stomps. D off the ropes I think he may be going for the D Stroyer Knee and Daniel catches him into a Backbreaker!
Kat: Guy's got an answer for everything.
Kendra: James's best chance is to stick and move. James with a quick kick combo to soften Daniel up, taking a run through a float-over DDT! Continuing to stomp out Daniel, continuing to keep moving and sits up on the top turnbuckle, and elbow drop to Daniel!
1!
2!
Colin: Daniel gets a shoulder up, James locks the arm almost right away and into a headlock. Daniel attempting to get free, James learned from his last time and is not stopping moving, just dragging Daniel around the ring and not giving him a chance to ground himself, wrenching the headlock in. Daniel seems to be slowly fading, James kicking the back of the knee of Daniel and going for the Broken Dreams STF!
Kendra: Daniel barely makes it to the ropes, Andra starts counting -
1! 2! 3!
Colin: James lets go and is arguing a bit with Andra OH DANIEL CLOCKS HIM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A POLISH HAMMER!
Kat: Did you guys see Daniel put a mask on?
Kendra: This is the mask we were talking about.
Colin: DANIEL WITH A REVERSE CHOKESLAM! DANIEL ISN'T LETTING GO AND HE'S ADDING MORE AT INCREASING SPEEDS! IT'S LIKE HE'S TRYING TO GET A NAIL IN AND JAMES D IS THE HAMMER! HE THROWS HIM UP INTO A POP UP BACKBREAKER! REVERSE ALABAMA SLAMS TO THE LEFT AND RIGHT LIKE HE'S BAM BAM RUBBLE!
Kat: OR THE HULK!
Kendra: HO-LY WRATH BATMAN!
Colin: THIS IS JUST A MASSACRE! DANIEL PUTS HIS FOOT ON THE CHEST OF JAMES D!
1!
2!
3!
Dark Hand wins by Pinfall!
Destroyer poses his Destroyer’s Roar taunt and blows the 4 turnbuckles with purple flaming pyros.
Ash: Here is your winner - THE DESTROYER!
Kendra: And James D crawling back to the turnbuckle, trying to gather up what happened.
Colin: Looks like he may have designs for the mask.
Kendra: Well then he'll need to call a Trial By Combat. And not be absolutely wrecked in the process.
Colin: And we're receiving word that some of the competitors backstage have been jumped impacting our next match, as we pull up the titantron. Our next match was scheduled to be a 5 on 5 tag with Kruel fighting the team of Moon, Aiko, Guinevere, Lynx, and Violet, but if you look backstage-
Colin: Moon, Lynx, and Guinevere have been beaten down and locked in the training room! Ugh, and here come Kruel to gloat-
Kylie: Awwww a whole team broken in half. (mock pout and tears) Well, since we're so magnanimous we're willing to do this as a trios match.
Violet and Aiko run down.
Kendra: These are the remainders of the team that was meant to fight. But it's only 2! Who will-
Kat: I'll do it.
Colin: You sure?
Kat: Yeah, I got this.
KIKI, KYLIE, AND KELLY KRUEL VS AIKO, VIOLET, AND KAT DENNINGS
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following trios match is scheduled for one fall! In this corner, Kiki, Kylie, and Kelly Kruel! And in this corner, Aiko, Violet, and Kat Dennings!
Colin: Aiko and Kiki are the first ones to start, KAT DENNINGS HITS VIOLET WITH A KENDO STICK!
Colin: NO! KAT DENNINGS HAS BEEN HIDING HER TRUE INTENTIONS! THE REF HAS HER ATTENTION OFF THE RING AND KIKI KRUEL WITH THE KNUCKLES!
Kendra: The cover-
1!
2!
3!
Kruel wins by Pinfall from Kiki Kruel to Aiko!
Ash: Here are your winners, Kruel!
Kat: You idiots. Who do you think locked those losers in the train-
Kendra: Moon, Lynx, and Guinevere are out! There are fists thrown everywhere and Kruel including Kat are running for the entrance!
Arvin returns to the booth, holding his stomach.
Arvin: Getting real tired of getting thrown through tables.
Colin: Then you probably shouldn't piss off our next competitors.
DAMIAN BLACKHEART w/Shadow Kawashima VS RADE w/Ann "Atomic" Lee
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Fog machine, candles and 18th century street lamps adorn the entrance way. Titantron/screen shows images of leeches, pre-20th century surgery, anatomical drawings, plus short video clips of Blackheart performing submission moves and ringing a hand bell in full plague doctor uniform. Shadow Kawashima stands behind Damian Blackheart as they stand in contemplation on the apron.
Ash: FIRST! Accompanied by Shadow Kawashima, from Silk Road, London, weighing in at 228 pounds, the Empiric, DAMIAN BLACKHEART!
Kendra: Damian was taken out of action two weeks ago, and it seems that La Sangre may have been behind it, wasn't able to compete last week and is now back on his feet and ready to fight and get his vials back from Ann "Atomic" Lee.
Colin: They really would benefit from going for La Sangre together, but regardless, as a result of that attack Spirit Crusher was guaranteed to keep their title shot at Mayday and La Sangre defended their title last week against RumRunners.
The lights go completely out. The arena is filled with sounds of owls hooting and clocks ticking.
Red smiley faces show in hologram around the arena in time with the bell. Ann "Atomic" Lee steps out to the stage, illuminated only by the red glow in the dark mask that she removes from her face. Ash immediately holds their microphone down as they have learned by now their microphone is turned off.
Her smirk is illuminated by the glow of the mask. The music has kept in the ticking of the clock and bell, not so much as a skip but as a purposely extended opening.
Ann: And the Professor, once confident in his knowledge and ability, grew his confidence into arrogance, convinced that he had no more to learn; and he had barricaded himself behind a wall of intellect, hidden his body behind Shadow and guarded his mind and his blood behind Steel and Glass. But in his arrogance, he had grown short-sighted, and not apprised himself of the novel ways that glass could break without shattering, had not apprised himself of the novel ways that steel could crumple without creaking, so convicted that he held dominion over the Shadow that he assumed that he was imperceptible and impenetrable. But a shadow can be swallowed in darkness, and a Brain is only as good as the blood that flows through it. Blood that today will flow through this arena, through the streets of Philadelphia, into the soil of the parks and green spaces, absorbed by the roots and pushed out to see, into the oceans where it will rain beautiful blood on the Black Forest from whence this man, birthed of your damaged and distorted psyche was made flesh and bone and the deepest caverns of your damaged and distorted psyche, carrying the weights of your crushed hopes and dreams and title aspirations laid bare and shattered beneath the feet of finality in a 355 pound frame, he is der Blutsammler...
HE. IS.
The keyboard finally kicks in and the appearances of the red smiley faces intensify rhythmically as a towering figure enters behind her.
Ann: RADE.
Rade walks down the ramp with Ann leading him, both illuminated mostly by the glow in the dark masks.
Colin: Rade's last fight was interrupted by Tragedeigh, costing him and Sangre their victory, and you'd think that everyone here would have a common enemy, and yet.
Ann stands in front of Rade and stares up as if being baptized from the sky. Rade spits blood upwards and it rains on her. She smiles wickedly to the camera and leaves the ring.
The bell rings.
Kendra: Last time these two fought, Shadow Kawashima sacrificed himself in a Bloodnado and Damian got the win over Rade to ensure their place in the tag team title match. So even with a common enemy, Rade has a bone to pick with them for that title shot being out of reach. Rade throws Damian off the-NO! RIPCORDS HIM INTO SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE!
Arvin: Oh! The Ent can learn.
Colin: You clearly don't.
Kendra: But to your poorly made point, yes, Rade's typical strategy would be to go for the 7 Feet Under early, and I think that's what Damian was prepared for. By having that time truncated considerably Damian wasn't given the time to react he thought he had. Rade going for the Claw submission now and trying to neutralize Damian early.
Colin: Damian doesn't have the reach to swing back and is going to need to focus on either getting the hand off his face or getting to the ropes. Damian trying to pry the hand off his face and Rade lifts him up!
Kendra: He's holding him out like a baby's diaper he just changed!
Arvin: It's unbecoming to treat a professor like this, and it's embarrassing to have a professor have to flail like this. Damian trying to maintain some decorum as he fights this brutish hold from this Dollar Store Kane, this Non-dre the Giant.
Colin: Arvin what is your damage?
Kendra: Damian makes it to the ropes and Rade launches him directly at we should move.
Colin and Kendra move and Damian lands right into Arvin.
Andra starts the count - 1!
Colin: And Damian coming back to his feet.
2!
Colin: Damian not typically big on the top rope, but Rade's got a foot advantage on him, Damian takes a leap and DDT! He's able to bring the big man down! Going to lock in that Fujiwara, and getting it in! Rade showing some signs of struggle, but with a body that long, you're never far from a rope.
Kendra: Damian weighing his options carefully. Taking stock, he goes for a wrist clutch and into an Exploder Suplex!! Completely devastating him!
Colin: The trick with a big man like this is you have to try the move quickly. You can't assume that you're going to be able to hold them long. Snap suplexes, exploder suplexes, this is the safe way to go.
Kendra: Damian needs to make every move with incredible precision. Going to lock in the Bubonic Clutch now! Damian is looking to keep the big man down, it may be his only chance to win this.
Colin: The submission was only moderately effective before but this is one of Damian's major moves, Rade looking for relief and is not off the strugglebus yet, Rade struggling and to his feet, taking Damian with him and running Damian into the turnbuckle! Getting him up in the chokehold, up into the air, Damian gets his feet on the top rope and arm drag! Damian lands on his feet, taking a run and going for the Scalpel Kick RADE CATCHES HIM AND UP HE GOES FOR THE 7 FEET UNDER!! Damian planted!!
1!
2!
3!
Rade wins by PInfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, Der Blutsammler, RADE!
Kendra: And Damian made Rade work for it, but Rade came out on top! And this time, Arvin is being wheeled out. Let's go to commercial while we figure out what our next step is.
Colin (VO): MAY 26! WE'RE COMING TO VIRGINIA BEACH FOR MAYDYAY!
Colin (VO): Balor Wolfe's war against Team SuperStarz comes to a thrilling conclusion as he defends his title from The Manx Minx, Tamara Rivers!
Colin (VO): SlowMo Tapout defends her Aries Title against El Cerrador in a 2 subs out of 3!
Colin (VO): The US Title is a three woman Falls Count Anyway Match, as Violet tries to get her hands on Kiki Kruel and Sarah Sharp looks to continue her journey of a Triple Crown Title Winner!
Colin (VO): JCM Ace is coming...to the Abandoned Church to bring the fight to Nero, who's been ducking him.
Colin (VO): Blood will be drawn when La Sangre Maldita defends their titles against Spirit Crusher in an Apothecary Match!
Colin (VO): Jay the Joker will be kept out of the action as Ace Anarchy attempts to keep his title reign going against Manta Ray in a steel cage!!
Colin (VO): Wonderwolf gets stuck in the crossfire of the burgeoning rivalry between Mal Sangre and Tragedeigh as he desperately attempts to keep his title!
Colin (VO): And in our co-main event, 12 teams will participate in our first ever Danger Room Match for a shot at the Tag Titles!!! These are just some of the insane ideas that we're going to be facing! There's a Pentacles Match, a New Blood Forest Gauntlet Match, and a Next Level Title Match for the Trios Belt! You want want to miss any of the heart-pounding, gut-wrenching action that we have to offer when we come to Virginia Beach! Tickets are almost sold out so get yours today!
Fluorescent lights hum overhead. The sterile chill of the hospital cuts through the thin blanket covering Manta Ray, who lies propped up in a bed, hooked to fluids and wrapped in bandages. His mask remains on—but the pride is cracked. A poster drawn by a child—“Get well soon, Manta!”—is taped to the wall across from him.
His hand clutches the IV pole like a spear. His eyes burn with restrained rage.
Manta:
“Mal Sangre... left me in pieces. He didn’t take my pride. He woke it up. He reminded me what I’m fighting against.”
He turns slowly to the camera beside the bed, voice steady.
Manta:
“This won’t end with apologies. It won’t end with handshakes. I will return. And when I do… I will drown his war in something he’s never faced—righteous fury.”
Soft knock. Then creak.
A figure enters, dressed in a white lab coat and carrying a clipboard. Their posture is too sharp. Their movements too deliberate.
The figure walks to the side of the bed and, with a tilt of the head, speaks softly—voice familiar… theatrical.
Tragedeigh:
“You speak of vengeance like it’s noble. But it isn’t. It’s necessary.”
Manta’s eyes narrow. He recognizes the cadence.
Manta:
“…You’re not a doctor.”
Tragedeigh:
“No. But I know what it’s like to be betrayed. To be beaten when all you wanted was to bring light to something dark.”
Manta tries to sit up—wincing.
Manta:
“You walk with shadows. You run with Mal Sangre’s people.”
Tragedeigh:
“He doesn't run with us, not anymore.”
She steps closer, sets the clipboard down gently.
Tragedeigh:
“He did the same to me, Manta. Different reason. Same message: ‘You don’t belong here.’ But here I am. Still breathing. Still planning. And now… maybe planning with you.”
Manta stares at her—silent. Suspicious. But curious.
Manta:
“You think I’ll trust you because we’ve both been wounded?”
Tragedeigh:
“No. I don’t want your trust. Just your patience. Because if you truly want to end him… I may be the only one who knows where to strike.”
A long pause. The beep of the monitor fills the silence. Manta’s hand doesn’t unclench from the pole. But he doesn’t say no.
Manta:
“…Then speak carefully. And don’t make me regret not ringing the nurse.”
Tragedeigh:
“Good. Then let’s begin.”
Camera slowly zooms out.
Manta, battered but defiant. Tragedeigh, veiled in half-light. A fragile moment between redemption and conspiracy.
The tide has shifted.
A few doors down-
50 Cent and Diddy sit in their beds, the curtain between them stapled down so they can see only each others' shadows.
Both men are separately talking to nurses, preparing for discharge. As the nurses leave to get their bags, a hooded man comes in, rips the curtain down, and begins beating down on both men with an IV Pole. He throws Diddy from his bed to 50's bed, and both men begin throwing punches on each other. The hooded man smashes the IV monitor over the head of Diddy and as 50 Cent attempts to take advantage of Diddy's being brutalized, the hooded man powerslams 50 Cent into the hospital bed, causing it to fold. The man takes his hood off to reveal-
Interior – Elise Mae’s office. Night. The room is dim, cluttered, and chaotic — a desk scattered with reports, a drink cart in the corner, and a flickering desk lamp. Elise sits behind her desk, slumped, looking like she hasn’t slept in days. Tamara Rivers walks in, arms crossed.
TAMARA RIVERS:
You look like shit.
ELISE MAE: (rubbing her temples)
That damn demon. Everywhere I go, that redneck trash song follows me. It’s in the lobby, the hallway, the toaster. I swear I heard it in my dreams last night.
TAMARA:
Cotton Eye Joe?
ELISE:
Don’t say it. You’ll trigger something.
TAMARA:
Anyway, I’m here to talk about Balor. I’m next. And I want him alone — no circus freaks at ringside.
ELISE:
You’ve got him. One-on-one. Johnny, V, and that demon in a pinstripe suit — all banned. I’ll make it official.
Elise’s phone rings on the desk.
🎵 If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe... 🎵
ELISE: *(mutters in fury as she picks it up, slams it to silent)
He changed my ringtone. And I can’t change it back. It’s like the damn thing’s possessed.
TAMARA:
You know he’s not doing this for Balor, right?
ELISE:
He’s doing it for his own amusement. He’s got the title picture wrapped around his bony little fingers and now I’m just part of the entertainment.
The phone rings again — still blaring despite being on silent.
🎵 Where did you come from, where did you go... 🎵
ELISE: (furious, turns it off completely and tosses it aside)
Off. Dead. Burn in digital hell.
TAMARA:
Seriously… what does Alastor even want?
ELISE:
To torment me. That’s it. Not titles, not power. Just me.
The radio clicks on behind them.
🎵 Cotton Eye Joe... 🎵
ELISE: (marches over, hits the power button hard)
We are not doing this again.
TAMARA:
You should give him his own show. Let him go full late-night creep. People love trainwrecks.
ELISE: (whipping around)
That is never happening. You give him a mic, he’ll start selling eternal torment with a jingle. Absolutely not.
The radio turns on again.
🎵 If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe... 🎵
ELISE: (yanks the plug out of the wall)
Try it now, freak. I dare you.
TAMARA:
You sure I’m not walking into a trap with Balor?
ELISE:
If you are, it won’t be one of his making. I’ve got eyes everywhere.
The radio powers back on again somehow.
🎵 Where did you come from, where did you go... 🎵
ELISE: (screams, grabs it, storms to the window and hurls it outside with a loud crash)
Beat. Silence.
TAMARA:
Feel better?
ELISE:
No. But my blood pressure is impressed.
TAMARA:
So really… what does he want?
ELISE:
I told you. To torment me.
TAMARA:
You ever think of just giving him a platform?
ELISE:
No. No show. No microphone. I give him airtime, next thing you know it’s “Hell’s Top 40 with DJ Alastor” and a soul contract in every mailbox.
Suddenly, Tamara’s phone goes off.
🎵 If it hadn't been for Cotton Eye Joe... 🎵
ELISE: (eyes widen, twitch begins again)
Rivers—
TAMARA: (already backing toward the door)
I’ll just… go.
She practically sprints out. Door slams shut.
Elise walks slowly to her drink cart. Pours a heavy drink with shaking hands. She sighs deeply, finally alone.
The camera pans in front of her, revealing behind her—
The radio is back.
As she raises the glass to her lips—
🎵 Where did you come from, where did you go... 🎵
Elise freezes. Her hand trembles. Her eye twitches violently as she glares directly into the camera.
She steps outside and tries to catch her breath, light a cigar, and breathe.
WildFire passes and the phone goes off as he does so.
🎵 Where did you come from, where did you go... 🎵
Elisa: THAT IS IT! WILDFIRE YOU AND ALASTOR ARE GOING TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER!
WildFire puts his finger up as he answers the phone and walks off, "Hey Jaina!"
Elisa's eye twitches and she begins to scream as the camera cuts to-
Zora Luthor sits in her office as if it's a Lawyer's commercial. The graphic to the side of her lists what she asks about.
Zora: Are you suffering from The Useless Team Blues? Do you feel constantly Overlooked for Title Opportunities? Do you feel trapped in Midcard Hell? Are you tired of sitting in catering, waiting for your turn eating Okay I Guess Snacks Instead of Caviar? Do you feel Restricted by Rules and Enfeebled by Empathy?
We can help!
If you're a woman or femme-presenting individual seeking a team of tight-knit individuals who will always have your back and a payday that rivals the GDP of a small island nation, call 1-800-ZLI-HOME NOW! Just listen to these testimonials -
Chantarelle: Just one show after I signed with Zora Luthor, I went from being called "Just some rebel girl" to being the first ever Aries Champion. Thanks Zora Luthor!
Imogen: Before Zora Luthor, I was a loser Disney Adult acting like I was some Bubble Fairy, and I was losing matches left and right. Zora Luthor helped me see that being the good girl gets you nowhere, and now I've held tag titles with my bestie. Thanks Zora Luthor!
Crystelle: I used to have to listen and smile while mediocre fighters bored me with their ramblings. With Zora Luthor International, I am the one with the microphone. I am the one with the audience. Thanks Zora Luthor!
Bianca: I thought my ring career was over and I'd have to sit at commentary playing second banana to a third rate Conan O'Brien for the rest of my days. Zora Luthor welcomed me back and helped me to see that I can be a potential champion again and that I can extend my career in the ring if I extend the boundaries of what I'm willing to do to win. Thanks Zora Luthor!
Zora: See what we here at Zora Luthor International can do for you! Call 1-800-ZLI-HOME and beat the Useless Team Blues!
Lisa Ann: DAMN Colin, she really had your number.
Colin: Lisa Ann Walter, everyone. I guess we couldn't get Quinta?
Lisa Ann: She is in the Executive Suite, you know how it is with the boss.
Kendra: At least it keeps her away from the K crowd.
Lisa Ann: I came to see some people beat the hell out of each other though, so let's do this thing.
Colin: You're right! And the next fight directly speaks to that Zora commercial which I'm sure was not targeted towards a specific psycho blonde at all.
TIDES OF TIME VS BIANCA DIAZ
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Black smoke fills the arena, through it a hooded figure walks.
Ash: First! Representing The Psycho Supremacy, from Parts Unknown, TIDES OF TIME!
Colin: Not much is known about Tides of Times, a best guess is that he is of Egyptian Heritage but even that we can't say for sure.
Lisa Ann: He dresses like the curtain at an Atlantic City Casino.
The initial guitar riff runs through the arena with purple and black lights strobing. As the first drum hits and guitars pick up in intensity, Bianca Diaz steps out with a stomp that causes purple plumes of fire to surround her.
Ash: And his opponent! Representing Zora Luthor International, from Miami, Florida, the Sellout Siren, BIIIIIANCA DIIIIAZ!
Lisa Ann: Looks like your ex is here, Col.
Kendra: She used to sit where I sit and I used to think I needed to live up to her but it's been a lesson in never meeting your heroes.
Bianca sneers at Colin and Kendra as she grabs the ropes on the apron, then steps in the ring and angrily beats her chest and licks her lips. The bell rings.
Colin: Tides of Time of course a ring veteran in his own right, an alumnus of different federations and he circles up with Bianca and a headlock from Tides to start things off, Tides trying to get that wrenching in and Bianca steps on his foot! Bianca throws Tides across the way and hip toss. Bianca gets Tides in a Dragon Sleeper! OH A BRUTAL CHOP TO THE THROAT OF TIDES.
Kendra: Bianca's viciousness already on full display, and she's keeping that hold on Tides nice and tight. Tides trying to get to his feet and another huge throat chop by Bianca!
Lisa Ann: Good thing he's the silent type, not makin' much use of that voicebox anyway.
Colin: Tides being behind that hood means we have no idea what he's thinking or feeling right now. We can't tell if he's silently screaming or just tiding his time.
Lisa Ann: He always like this?
Kendra: Unfortunately.
Lisa Ann: I thought Chris Perfetti was bad. OH! He's gettin' to his feet. He's up and OOF SHE DRIVES HIM BACK DOWN WITH AN ELBOW TO THE THROAT. Girl's keepin' it consistent, I gotta give her that.
Colin: It's been real rough for Psycho Supremacy these past few weeks, the leadership has been all but absent and Jassy's made an attempt to step up, even in the face of Zora Luthor's courting attempts. But Jassy right now is just as absent from the ringside as Nero, and morale has been fairly tenuous in TPS.
Kendra: Tides is going to need to pull it together if he wants to have any chance here, and Diaz keeping that Dragon Sleeper on is not going to make it any easier. Tides pushing back to his feet and BLOCKS Diaz's chop! Running Powerslam by Tides! Tides going for the legs and looking to lock in a Boston Crab... he's got it in, and she's...laughing it off? That's not helping her get out of the hold though...He just wraps it up tighter.
Lisa Ann: You think puttin' that pressure on a woman's bottom half is gonna do anything? For what it's trained to do, a Boston Crab Hold is for wusses. Bianca just blowin' on her nails like a badass.
Kendra: Diaz kicks Tides away, Tides propelled to the other side of the ring and Diaz catches him with a Monkey Flip! Tides lands back on his feet and comes back around to get her with a basement boot! Going for the pin-
1!
Colin: Bianca kicks. Tides going for a ripcord neckbreaker and nails it! He's got it into a Chancery and Bianca once again is in trouble.
Lisa Ann: My girl Diaz knows what she's doin'.
Kendra: Diaz stressing about getting to the ropes, and Tides twists her away from the edge of the ring, and Diaz flipping herself over into a pin-
1!
2!
Colin: Tides kicks out! Diaz stomping out Tides, pulling him up and into a Spinning Fisherman Buster!! Buenos Diaz!!
1!
2!
3!
Bianca Diaz wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, The Sellout Siren, BIANCA DIAZ!
Kendra: ZLI continuing to have a read on Psycho Supremacy, they have one more chance tonight to get one over on them and that's coming now, as Nero is I'm told actually back!
NERO AND RED GHOST VS LUCENZA ROSSI AND VICIOUS VALENCIA VALDEZ
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!
Nero and Red Ghost stand at the apron, arms folded as the fireworks shoot out forward and upward.
Ash: First! Representing Psycho Supremacy, Psycho Supreme Nero and The Red Ghost!
They storm down to the ring.
A stretch limo enters the arena. First, out steps Crystelle to boos.
Crystelle: Shut up! SHUT UP! YOU listen to ME now! Nero, you are a testament to exactly why MAWL needs Zora Luthor. Philadelphia, behold before you a man who suddenly gained muscles and presumed himself "Supreme" and had better and more worthwhile fighters like Bloodswan and Jassy languish under his haphazard leadership. And instead of choosing either of your two best women to fight beside you, you brought out your pageboy, the Scrappy Doo little brother out here. Do you underestimate us that badly or do you truly not know how to manage your gang of ne'er-do-anythings? Or do you know that we'll successfully pull one away from you?
Meanwhile, we've made your compatriots cower before a former model when we crashed your old home. We've taken a former overly modest, overly humble goody two-shoes hiding her true beauty behind a tiger mask and putting all her energy into sick children instead of getting title shots, and guided her to unleash her true beauty, her true potential, and her understanding that there is no greater mission than your own. And here they come now-
Crystelle: From Santiago, Chile, the Vivacious, Voluptuous, Volcanic, Vengeful, Violent, Versatile, Veritably Visionary Vicious Victoria Valdez!! And from Milan, Italy, the most luxurious export, the absolute highest standard, the Brightest Light in MAWL, LUCENZA ROSSI!
The bell rings.
Colin: Ghost and Rossi in to start, Rossi tries to Irish Whip Ghost but he swings back with a Ripcord Enziguiri! Rossi back up quickly and Ghost comes charging her, she catches him into a Spinebuster! Face wash and a kick to the temple.
Lisa Ann: She's lookin' to ring his bell early.
Kendra: Rossi coming off the ropes and a knee drop to the face of Ghost. Ghost already in trouble, trying to get back to his feet quickly with a dropkick, Rossi stutters back a little, and Ghost takes a run into a flipping arm drag!
Lisa Ann: You gotta watch where you're aimin' kid, you threw her right into tag zone.
Colin: You're not wrong, and Rossi tags Valdez in. VALDEZ WITH A SPEAR TAKING RED GHOST OFF HIS FEET!
1!
2!
Kendra: Ghost gets the shoulder up and count stopped at 2. Valdez lifting Ghost up in a Military Press RED GHOST ROLLS BEHIND HER AND PULLS HER INTO A REAR NAKED CHOKE! Valdez trying to power out of the hold but Ghost shows himself to be stronger than expected. Valdez fighting to the ropes, trying to get to her feet, Ghost isn't letting the hold go!
Lisa Ann: Damn. I haven't seen good women's wrestlers since my young days, Bertha Faye and Bull Nakano, ya remember them?
Colin: I do.
Kendra: I was born in 1997.
Lisa Ann: Valdez looks like someone who coulda gone toe to toe with Bertha. Look at her, fighting up to her feet as Ghost tries to keep that hold on. Ghost trying to pull her down, she's takin' the turnpike! This is some King Kong style fighting here, up to the top and hookin' the leg! DAMN!
Colin: Avalanche Samoan Drop by Valdez and going for the pin-
1!
2!
Kendra: Ghost kicks up!
Lisa Ann: Yeah but he's doin' so like a Looney Tune that just fell off a cliff. I wouldn't be surprised if he pulled a sign outta his tights.
Kendra: Red Ghost really needs to go for a pin, getting towards the turnbuckle and Valdez with the German Suplex getting Ghost away from Nero! Ghost just bounced on his shoulder blades! Valdez with the tag and wishboning Ghost, Rossi to the top ropes and ELBOW DROP TO THE GROIN! Going for the pin-
1!
2!
Lisa Ann: This little Ginger Snap just won't break.
Colin: Ghost off the ropes, Rossi going for the Back Body Drop, Ghost exhibiting some great spatial intelligence and comes down with the DDT! He's keeping the head locked in and rotating himself around for another Rear Naked. Rossi bending the fingers of Ghost and Ghost yelping in pain. Rossi is really turning this back around! Rossi twisting the arm of Ghost, Ghost flips and reverses into an arm drag!
Kendra: He really has to tag now!
Lisa Ann: He's goin' for a hot tag! And I don't mean takin' somethin' off the back of the truck. (beat) Which I know nothing about.
Colin: He's so close, and Rossi gets him by the legs and a face down big swing! Rossi tags in Valdez! Valdez picks Ghost up and Fallaway SLAM!
Lisa Ann: Aw see she had a good thing goin' and sent Ghost right over to Nero.
Kendra: Ghost tags Nero in! Nero mows down Rossi with a boot! Nero mows down Valdez with a running forearm smash! He calls that his Psycho Hammer! Going for quick pin -
1!
2!
Colin: Valdez getting to her feet and Nero just driving those knees into her gut! Nero keeps the pressure on, headlock to Valdez and continuing to blast her with knees! Nero lifts her up with one hand and Psycho Press!
Lisa Ann: He can lift me up with one hand all he wants. Just toss me around like an uncooked pizza. Know what I'm sayin'?
Colin: (flatly) Beautifully put.
Kendra: Nero going for a one foot pin-
1!
Colin: Valdez trips him and going for an ankle lock! His arrogance cost him. Valdez bends the ankle and into a full STF! Nero trying to break the hold, elbows to the side of Valdez, gets her up and a GIANT ONE ARM BACKBREAKER! Valdez trying to get to her feet and slow rise, Nero is off the ropes and floats over FOR A SPINE MALIGN! He could end this right now!
Kendra: Just pin her Nero!
Lisa Ann: What's this doofus doing?? That don't look like a pin!
Colin: Nero tags Red Ghost back in! Ghost about to come in through the ropes and Nero...stops him?
Kendra: He's directing Red Ghost to the top rope! Red Ghost looks unsure but Nero reminds him who the boss is and Ghost takes the climb, up to the ropes going for a splash and Valdez rolls him up!! Rossi rocket kicks Nero out of the ring!
1!
2!
3!
Lucenza Rossi and Vicious Valencia Valdez win by Pinfall from Valdez to Red Ghost!
Ash: Here are your winners, Vicious Valencia Valdez and Lucenza Rossi!
Lisa Ann: Crystelle called it. Nero may have been physically dominant in the ring but his leadership call there was questionable at best and you can see Red Ghost is not thrilled.
Pleasant music plays as Gozu takes in the sites of Philadelphia. Gozu looks at a Statue of Ben Franklin. Gozu takes a Horse Carriage Ride. Gozu sees someone eating a Classic Cheesesteak, then gets himself a two foot long one, enjoying it with a nice ChungAde Blue. As he finishes he lets out a satisfied sigh.
Gozu runs up the Rocky Stairs. He sees a tourist doing the Joker steps dance on the Rocky Stairs.
Gozu pulls this nerd up to the top of the steps and Sky High Chokeslam all the way down the Rocky Stairs!
Gozu gives Rocky the statue a pat on the back and nod of acknowledgment when he sees Thor-
ALSO doing the damn Joker steps dance.
Gozu looks at the Rocky statue and puts his hands on his hips, shaking his head, before motioning towards Thor as if to say to Rocky, "See what I mean?"
The camera cuts between Gozu and Thor with quick 90s close up zooms before cutting (badly) to Gozu as he has Thor over his head, spinning him like Bo be spinning Will in the opening credits.
The camera cuts to Thor, just in the air over the stairs flailing and emoting wildly as if from a cheesy 90s show.
Then Gozu can be seen in the front of the camera, mimicking the the head spin and bop that Will does at the end of the credits as he walks off camera.
The camera opens on the polished mirror of the MAWLiwood Blondes' dressing room. Mark “Red Carpet” Anderson is adjusting his perfectly slicked-back hair, while Winston “High Risk” Lewis is flipping through a magazine filled with exaggerated tabloid drama.
The sound of distant bickering echoes down the hallway, a never-ending background hum in the chaotic world of MAWL.
Mark Anderson: (adjusting his cuffs, barely stifling a laugh) Every time I turn around, it’s like I’m trapped in some bargain-bin reality show. Ralph Silva? Gone. Vanished. Might as well be the next contestant on “Lost Without a Clue.” Tragedeigh and Davy Boy? Oh, they’ve gone full drama club—betrayals, angry stares, friendship bracelets in the garbage. I’m just waiting for the musical number.
Winston Lewis: (turning a page, eyes rolling) Yeah, they’ll probably belt out a ballad about how they were “best friends until they weren’t.” And Mal Sangre? Joining RADE? Because nothing says “fresh start” like a group of bitter, moody outcasts. I’d say they’re trying to look dangerous, but… (gestures with the magazine) it’s like watching a middle school fight in matching leather jackets.
Mark Anderson: (laughs) And that’s just the front-runners of the circus! Let’s not forget Manta Ray, the hero who gets bullied by the school play villains. That poor guy is basically the castaway of MAWL—Captain Optimism adrift in a sea of melodrama.
Winston Lewis: (dramatically) “Believe in yourself!” he says, while they dump him overboard and use his optimism as target practice. And then there’s El Gallito, the little rooster who got cooked. I swear, if Hope Serum was a flavor, he’d be licking the spoon and asking for seconds.
Mark Anderson: (mocking a concerned voice) “Oh, Gallito, don’t you know too much hope will turn you into a sob story?” And there’s Tortuga—acting like a stressed single parent, trying to keep Gallito’s wings from falling off. Somebody should get that guy a reality show called “Luchador Daycare.”
Winston Lewis: (snickers) And then there's... (pauses, lowering his voice) that guy... the one who makes the whole feed flicker every time we... (his voice drops to a distorted whisper) mention him...
Suddenly, the screen distorts. The audio warps, turning Winston’s voice into a ghostly echo. Static scratches across the screen, a faint whisper twisting through the interference—"The swamp… the depths… forgotten…”*
The distortion vanishes as fast as it appeared, leaving a stunned silence. Winston blinks, shakes his head like clearing a bad dream, and Mark jumps in without missing a beat.
Mark Anderson: (snapping his fingers) Forget it. Not our problem. If we tried to keep track of every shadowy, brooding wannabe supervillain in this place, we’d need a dry erase board the size of the arena. But here’s the thing, Winston… I’m bored.
Winston Lewis: (stands up, tossing the magazine aside) You and me both, Mark. While the rest of this roster plays “Backstabber Royale” or “Swamp Spirits and Sadness,” we’re stuck watching the world's worst soap opera. And you know what I’m thinking?
Mark Anderson: (grins) That we deserve better roles.
Winston Lewis: Exactly. Why are we standing here letting these drama addicts take the spotlight when we could be wearing gold? No whispering ghost stories, no tragic betrayal arcs, just two guys who know how to win, look good doing it, and actually have their priorities straight.
Mark Anderson: (smirks) Because unlike them, we know what we’re here for. And it’s not to star in the next episode of “Desperate Wrestlers.” It’s to be champions. Tag. Team. Champions.
Winston Lewis: (leaning closer to the camera, voice dripping with snark) Let the rest of MAWL play their little Shakespearean tragedies. Ralph can stay lost, Tragedeigh and Davy can write their breakup songs, and our swampy whispering friend can keep flickering the feed like a bad horror movie.
Mark Anderson: (arms outstretched) But us? We’re not here for the drama. We’re here for the gold. So while they’re all tangled in their “who betrayed who” nonsense, we’ll be focused on becoming the stars this show desperately needs.
Winston Lewis: (winking) We should just be tag champions. None of this… (waves his hand with a bored expression) Hmph, drama.
They exchange a confident smirk, grab their jackets, and stride out of the dressing room. The camera lingers for a second, catching a faint flicker on the screen—a shadow stretching for a heartbeat before it’s gone.
CUT – MAWL VENTILATION SHAFTS
The camera lingers on the subtle, flickering distortion left behind as the MAWLiwood Blondes leave their dressing room. A low, whispering sound hums beneath the audio, almost too faint to notice. The shadows seem to ripple, and then—almost like a wisp of black smoke—a shape slides into the darkness of the ventilation shafts above.
The camera follows this shadow, a twisting, oily form that slips through the metal ducts without a sound. Its whispering echoes, distorted and broken, scatter like dying leaves caught in a breeze:
"Time is but a shadow… secrets… lost in the dark…”
The shadow slides around a bend, the metal creaking beneath its intangible weight. It snakes past flickering bulbs, twisting like a serpent through the vents, until it hovers above a grated opening—peering down into the chaotic heart of La Sangre Maldita’s locker room.
CUT – LA SANGRE MALDITA LOCKER ROOM
Sombras is pacing back and forth, his masked face half-lit by the flickering overhead light. Davy Boy is leaning against the wall, arms crossed, a smug grin plastered across his face. Tragedeigh is perched on a bench, one leg bouncing with nervous energy, her eyes sharp with frustration.
Sombras: (voice low, cold) We gotta focus on Mal Sangre first. RADE thinks they can steal him, make him some heroic redemption story? I won’t allow it. He’s our disgrace now, our shame.
Davy Boy: (laughs, popping his knuckles) Please. Mal Sangre’s a footnote. We stomp him out, we move on. I say we take his pride first. Make him watch as we tear down his new little family.
Tragedeigh: (leans forward, voice venomous) I don’t care how angry he thinks he is. When he looks up at me, broken, I want him to know I’m the one who ended him. No theatrics. No mercy.
Sombras’s hand clenches, the leather of his glove creaking.
Sombras: Good. No mercy. But don’t get reckless. RADE’s watching. They’re going to try to make this a redemption arc for him. We turn it into a tragedy.
Davy Boy: (laughs) Oh, and speaking of tragedies… (glances at Tragedeigh) Ready for your next scene, Drama Queen? Because I hear Manta Ray’s still swimming around like he’s the star of some feel-good after-school special.
Tragedeigh: (sneers) Manta Ray is a joke. A punchline looking for an audience. And if he tries to lecture me again about honor or courage, I’ll make sure his next heroic speech is a whimper.
Sombras: Focus. We handle this like professionals. First, we break Mal Sangre. Then we make Manta Ray regret ever pretending to be a hero.
Above them, the shadow lingers, stretching like a claw reaching down, but it doesn’t touch them. Instead, it retreats, slithering back through the ducts, the whispers growing louder as it fades:
"They do not see… they do not hear… the dark comes for them all…”
The shadow slides further down the shaft, twisting, reaching… moving toward another target.
Colin: Gozu's certainly well-traveled, and has pretty exacting standards.
Lisa Ann: Will Smith's gonna wanna fight him now, and honestly, I'd pay to see Gozu knock Will Smith out. Guy's an asshole.
Kendra: Well Will Smith will have to wait in line, Arvin's got before him, and before Arvin there are four other men seeking to get their hands on him, which they will have a chance to at Mayday in a Pentacles Match.
Lisa Ann: What's a Pentacles Match?
Colin: 6 men, 5 coffins. Last one not in a Coffin wins.
Lisa Ann: So like Musical Chairs but with the Jersey Futon.
Kendra: I guess you could look at it that way, yeah.
Colin: Four of those men are victims of Gozu's beatdowns, with Thor being added to this list just moments ago after being tossed from the Rocky stairs. The fifth is going to be the winner of the New Blood Forest Gauntlet, the Tables Match Gauntlet of New People that's set to kick off the show.
Kendra: One of these men will be facing off against SM Heartbreaker in just a matter of moments.
SM HEARTBREAKER VS KID KROSS
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
The lights suddenly cut out for a brief moment and explode and strobe to the heavy riff of Soundgarden’s Outshined.
The crowd is on their feet in support of the Kid they identify with. The Hometown Hero and the Kross town Rival. Twisted Kid Kross.
Ash: Ladies and gentlemen, from the depths of despair and depravity of Sunnyvale Trailer Park, in Sunnyvale Nova Scotia Canada, weighing in at 230 pounds, your hometown hero and their cross town rival, the winner of the Honeycomb Match, Twisted Kiiiiiddddd Kross!!
Kid Kross saunters down to the ring with his flashy blue and green vest with a facial depiction of “the green bastard”, a local Sunnyvale wrestler. He has his aviators on carrying a hockey stick over his shoulder. His long hair flowing behind him. Kid Kross kneels down In the ring with his arms out to the side as the music hits the chorus “ Show me the power child I’d like to say, that I’m down on my knees today”. He pops back up when the lyrics say “it gives the butterflies, gives me away until I’m up on my feet again”. He climbs to the second rope and raises his stick in unison with “OUTSHINED, OUTSHINED, OUTSHINED, OUTSHINED!”
Ash: Kid Kross! the one we’ve all been waiting for!
Kid Kross stares intently at the crowd. Ready to prove himself to his fans and the rest of the wrestling world.
Colin: It's a battle of the betrothed to belt!
Lisa Ann: Can you speak in modern English, dude?
Colin: Both Kross and SM have guaranteed title shots... Kross is guaranteed a shot at the Federation's top belt at Fallout, and SM has the briefcase in hand where he can go after any singles title except the Mania Belt at any time. They could well both end this year as champions.
Kendra: Of course, unless something changes, Kross will need to face Balor Wolfe, and Wolfe isn't going to let anyone within a sniff of his title reign, so Kross have to settle for being the first winner of the Honeycomb.
"No Good" By The prodigy begins to play as the MAWL fans know what is coming. The MAWL fans have only one thing they can defend themselves with. BOOOOOOOMANIA runs wild here on Madness as we get set for the arrival of... SM HeartBreaker.
Ash: And his opponent! Weighing 205 pounds, he is SM Heartbreaker!
SM walks to the ring full of swagger.
Lisa Ann: I used to date dudes like him. My car would reek of cologne for DAYS. And I always ended up payin' for dinner.
The bell rings.
Colin: Two of the preeminent names here in MAWL squaring up, going for the lock up and SM pulls away.
The fans boo as SM struts.
Kendra: SM going for a handshake, Kross looks pretty wary of this. Kross accepts the handshake and SM going for the lariat but Kross had SM read and ducks it, Kross with a snap DDT! SM to his feet quickly and Kross with another snap DDT! SM rolls out of the ring to catch his breath. Andra begins the count-
1!
Colin: Kross telling SM to get back in the ring, SM telling Kross to come out and play. The two of them locking eyes intensely.
Kendra: You can see Kross isn't wanting to get baited.
2!
Colin: SM Heartbreaker...sits down and is checking his phone.
Lisa Ann: This is some pussy MEOW.
3!
SM looks up and sees Kross still standing pat.
SM: (chanting) Green Bastard Sucks! Green Bastard Sucks!
Some audience members pick up the chant.
Colin: Oh, NOW he's got Kross riled. Kross taking a run, going for a Springboard, KROSS OVER AND SM DUCKS! KROSS BACK TO HIS FEET AND EATS A SUPERKICK! Andra restarts the count-
1!
Kendra: Heartbreaker knows exactly how to get in your head and scoops Kross up into a Fireman...
2!
Colin: SM takes him over to the Japanese Announcers' Table, is he going to-
3!
Colin: DEATH VALLEY DRIVER THROUGH THE TABLE!
4!
Lisa Ann: I take it back. Guy's got brains.
5!
Kendra: SM rolls back into the ring and surveying his damage with a little bit of pride and here comes that BOOOOOOMANIA.
6!
A delivery man comes to the ring, face is hidden-
Delivery Man: Delivery for a Mr. S&M Heartbreaker? Are you S&M Heartbreaker?
7!
SM: SM. Not S& ... yes.
Delivery Man: This is for you.
Lisa Ann: I didn't know you could get your mail delivered to your match.
Kendra: I wouldn't open that if I were S&M.
8!
SM opens the package. It's a Sting Ray Steve Thunder doll. He instinctively squeezes it and it says "MAYDAY! MAYDAY SM ROBINSON!" The crowd pops!
Colin: I think Steve Thunder is accepting SM's match for MAYDAY!!
Kendra: SM leaves the ring to throw out the doll...He could have just tossed it but he wants to make a show of it.
Lisa Ann: This just means he's restarted the count. That was not smart.
1!
SM struts to the garbage can and looks booing fans in the eyes as he dumps the Thunder doll in the trash.
2!
Colin: SM rolls back in the ring. He seems confident that he's still got this one wrapped.
The tron kicks up to-
Kendra: This has Thunder written all over it....KID KROSS UP....KROSS OVER! HE GETS IT THIS TIME!
1!
2!
3!
Kid Kross wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner...TWISTED! KIIIIID! KROOOOOSSS!
Colin: SM Heartbreaker is typically the master of mind games, but his obsession with Sting Ray has cost him this match.
Lisa Ann: I don't think SM will be watching Bojack again anytime soon.
Kendra: You can see that Heartbreaker is steaming. Thunder is comin' back, he'll be at Virginia Beach, and this time he's got SM in his crosshairs.
Colin: And our card continues moving on! We've got tag team action coming your way as the two Tys take on Neon Juan and... I guess we'll see who's replacing Diddy in this match.
TYLER HAYES AND TY "NEON SKY" LANCER VS NEON JUAN GUYVERNO AND ?
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!
Blackout. Then sudden bursts of neon laser lights cut through fog. Ty appears in a crouch under a UV spotlight, rising slowly in sync with the bass drop.
Ash: And their opponents! First, from the Electric City, weighing 201 pounds, TY NEOOOON SKY LANCER!
Lights sync to the beat as he dances and hypeman-walks to the ring, engaging the crowd with finger-point taunts.
Kendra: The crowd absolutely loving Lancer, who was the fill-in for Tyler when he was hurt, only for Bowen to throw their match and viciously beat him down. Lancer remains in good spirits, but no doubt that he has that beat down in mind.
The lights black out for a pregnant pause.
The Pretender is blasted through the stadium with Yellow & Green lights floating over the crowd. The crowd loses their minds. There are small elements of a standing ovation, but the whole stadium is clapping along with the drums of the song.
Colin: These two have made quite the team lately, and they're going to be two parts of a trio for the Next Level Match.
When ready the lights will meet directly at the top of the crowd. Where Tyler is standing proud.
Ash: AND HIS PARTNER! From Adelaide, Australia, weighing in at 220 pounds, TYYYYYYLER HAAAAAYES!
He makes his way down through the crowd making sure to shake hands with anyone who wants it, though there is a determination in his step. He signs an autograph for a fan at the front of the barrier, gives his headphones to a little girl in the audience, jumps over the barricade and does a lap of the ring smacking the crowds hands as he comes around, he shakes hands with the commentators, slides into the ring and shakes hands with the ref, fist bumps Ty, and leans forward in preparation of this match.
Blacklight in the arena. Neon Pink and Green Lasers flash around the arena and matching smoke plumes surround the entrance way. Neon Juan dances in the entranceway.
Ash: And their opponents! First, from La Santa, Mexico, weighing in at 235 pounds, EL DIVERTIDO, NEON JUAN GUYVERNO!!
Colin: Since starting to team with Diddy, he's taken a slightly darker edge but doesn't stop dancing.
Neon Juan dances and gyrates down the ramp to boos. He straddles the ropes and continues dancing in the ring.
Kendra: So who's going to be his partner?
The blacklight maintains as Bea Attitude storms out. Every time the song goes "WOAH/NO" a large hot pink flame shoots out of all four corners.
Ash: And his partner! From Chattanooga, Tennessee, Saint Sardonic, Bea Attitude!
Lisa Ann: Chattanooga, Tennessee is the friendliest city in the US but it seems to not have made it to her.
Kendra: She probably has taken all the anger for the town and left none.
Bea Attitude mouths off to everyone she sees as she walks down the ramp, then flips the whole arena off as she gets in the ring.
Colin: Neon Juan and Tyler to start. Neon Juan throws Tyler off the ropes, catches Tyler with a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. Tyler up and Neon Juan hits with a flipping dropkick. Tyler stumbles back and Neon Juan bounces onto the bottom rope, to the middle, and running up the pole and moonsault splash to Tyler NO TYLER MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AND HITS A BACK SUPLEX.
Kendra: Tyler tags in Neon Sky, Tyler hits a backbreaker and Neon Sky with a Shooting Star Press! Excellent teamwork-
1!
Colin: Juan up! Juan comes off the ropes and going for a huracanrana, Neon Sky lands on his feet and rolls under the spin kick, pops up with a step up Enziguiri! Lancer takes a run, Spingboard Coffin Drop! Going for the pin-
1!
Lisa Ann: Can't keep Juan down!
Kendra: Juan hits a Spinning Neckbreaker on Lancer and onto a standing moonsault splash, going for a pin but Lancer doesn't even give up the 1. Juan comes off the ropes, undeterred, going for a handstand walk, Lancer attempts to trip the handstand with a basement roundhouse but Juan springs up and helicopter kick! Lands the first one but Lancer tumblesaults over the second one and grabs Juan by the legs! Wheelbarrow Back Suplex NO JUAN LANDS ON HIS FEET GOES FOR THE DROPKICK NO LANCER ROLLS UNDER IT, CATCHES JUAN FOR A TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER!
Colin: An amazing show of ring intelligence by both men, Lancer getting himself pumped, starts motioning to the crowd, here come the GLOW chants! Hayes getting the clap and Lancer superhero posing-
Lisa Ann: It's kinda dumb to telegraph your moves like this don't ya think?
Kendra: Depends on how fast you can execute and JUAN ROLLS UNDER THE GLOW KICK AND HITS LANCER IN THE BACK WITH A STANDING DROPSAULT! Tag in to new superstar Bea Attitude, the Churlish Chattanoogan, who clobbers Lancer in the back with a lariat! Bea picking Lancer's head up by the EARS and slamming the head into the ground!
Lisa Ann: Points for creativity!
Colin: And a knee drop to the back of Lancer's head. The crowd boos as Bea scoops Lancer up into a bodyslam and she's got him by the arms now! Bending the arms alllll the way back and headlock with the legs....OH SHE'S BRIDGING THE HOLD BACKWARDS! THAT LOOKS PAINFUL!
Kendra: She calls this the Tennessee Tighten, and Lancer is in trouble if he can't get out of it. Tyler Hayes on the outside clapping for a tag, but gonna be hard if his arms are in total control by Bea, Lancer struggling to his feet, the crowd behind him, and Bea drops him right back down with the hold! Tyler Hayes running in with a low clothesline and knocks Bea off the hold!! TY TAGS! TYLER HAYES WITH AN STO TO BEA! TYLER TAKES A RUN AND BACK ELBOW TO NEON JUAN! AND BACK WITH A PENALTY KICK TO BEA! Tyler with a HUGE scoop slam and Bea bounces off the ground.
Colin: Bea trying to get back to her feet and Hayes drives her back down with a Basement Boot! Hayes getting her into that Modified Figure 4! Is he going for the Arms...he is! OUTBACK LOCK!!
Lisa Ann: Difference is that Juan is not up and ready to protect her, so while Lancer almost tapped, Bea is in a lot more of a dangerous situation, and TYLER WRENCHES! Bea's tapping!
Tyler Hayes and Ty "Neon Sky" Lancer win by Submission from Hayes to Bea Attitude!
Ash: Here are your winners, Tyler Hayes and Ty "Neon Sky" Lancer!!
Colin: It just takes one solid hold, one mistake, and the whole world shifts.
Suddenly The Crowd Roars with Excitement as "I wanna Rock" plays on the 'tron.
Lisa Ann: Last time I heard this song, my hair was bigger than your head, Colin, and I was rockin' in the back of a convy with some guy that I think is an insurance salesman now.
Kendra: Here comes WildFire.
Lisa Ann: Funny, I think that's what I said too.
WildFire comes down to the ring looking significantly annoyed.
WildFire checks under the ring.
WildFire checks in the front row of seats.
WildFire walks over to the announce table and talks to them quickly. The look puzzled before one of them helpfully hands him a mic.
WildFire rolls into the ring new mic in hand.
WildFire knocking on the top of the mic :"Testing, testing 1...2...3 .. of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most ..."
The crowd laughs.
He looks at the crowd :"So we good?""
Looks over at Alastor :"So you ready Freddy?"
WildFire stops looking puzzled walks over to Alastor :"Hmm what's that??"
WildFire bends over listening behind what looks like Alastor. The sound of feedback and static is coming from behind Alastor.
WildFire : "Dude, I think I know where my mic ended up!! " Crowd laughs "Alastor, anything else you been hiding in your prison wallet? Your dignity, your pride, anything else that your LORD AND MASTER BALOR WOLFE decides he's going to let you keep?"
WildFire : Alastor, I don't give two Craps and a damn about you, you are just my means to get back to my matches with Balor. Because Alastor,..... "
WildFire pauses for dramatic effect
" You gatekeeping Anne Rice Ritz boy, your LORD AND MASTER thinks that everyone in this fed is a ONE and done, a quitter and a LAZY, BEER BELLY THRONE SQUATTER like him!"
WildFire snarls : "Say your cutting LAST BURNING WORD SPOUTS, and get in your moral victory, then hurry up, get pissed off and attack me so we get this started RIGHT HERE !!! RIGHT NOW !!!"
[The arena lights flicker briefly before dimming to near black. The screen above the stage pulses with eerie static. A chilling, old-time radio crackle cuts through the air. The crowd murmurs in anticipation.]
ALASTOR (voice over the PA, smooth and amused):
“Well aren’t you trying hard to get my attention, my fiery little moth.”
[The lights cut completely. A beat of silence. Then a deep red spotlight hits the ring. Behind WildFire, like a ghost conjured from static and shadows, stands Alastor — grinning from ear to ear, eyes glowing crimson. He tilts his head.]
ALASTOR (live mic, softly):
“My, my… how loud you’ve gotten since last we almost met. That bark…mm, almost believable. Almost.”
[He steps slowly around WildFire, speaking in that velvety, vintage tone like he’s narrating a bedtime story with blood beneath the pages.]
ALASTOR:
“I know who put you up to this, old sport. Miss Eilsa Mae He, ever the puppeteer, tugging at your frayed little strings. Did she whisper promises? Did she dangle the world before you, only to snatch it away midway through your grand ascension?”
[He chuckles, low and pitying.]
“Tsk. I pity you, truly. You stand here shouting at ghosts when the one haunting your chances wears heels and smiles through teeth sharper than mine.”
[Alastor pauses, then gestures casually toward the ropes.]
ALASTOR:
“So here’s what I’m going to do for you, dear WildFire. A kindness, if you will. When that bell tolls… I shall take to that middle rope right there…”
[He points with his cane, gently tapping it against the cable.]
“…and I will sit. Just sit. You can walk out, take your count-out loss, and leave with your body intact and your pride only mildly bruised. You’ve done nothing wrong, my good man. You don’t deserve to suffer for someone else’s mistakes.”
[He leans in close, just behind WildFire’s shoulder, voice a hushed whisper full of gentle malice.]
ALASTOR:
“I’m not your enemy, WildFire. But maybe… just maybe... the real enemy is the one who rewrote your match while you weren’t looking.”
[He steps back slowly, smile still plastered across his face, and opens his arms as if to say “the floor is yours.” The crowd buzzes in anticipation for WildFire’s response.]
WILDFIRE VS ALASTOR
Ding ding ding!
Colin McRae: “And we’re officially underway—Alastor vs. Wildfire, and folks, already this one is off the rails.”
Kendra Mavis: “Look at that! Alastor—he’s walking to the ropes… he’s sitting on the middle rope and holding it open… is he actually offering Wildfire the chance to leave?!”
Lisa-Ann Walter: “He’s giving the man an out! That’s respect. Or pity. Either way—Wildfire should take it.”
Colin: “But Wildfire doesn’t see it that way—SLAP! My God!”
Kendra: “That echoed! Wildfire just slapped the devil across the face and shouted, ‘You don’t disrespect me like that!’”
Lisa-Ann: “Well. That’s a death wish.”
Alastor’s head stays turned for a moment… then slowly turns back. That smile? It hasn’t moved. If anything, it’s wider.
He casually walks to the corner, unbuttons and removes his red double-breasted jacket, folds it precisely, and drapes it over the turnbuckle. Next come the silver-rimmed glasses—then the cane, leaned gently into place.
Colin: “And now look—he’s taking off the gentleman’s garb. Jacket. Glasses. Cane in the corner. This is ritual for Alastor. He’s not preparing for a match… he’s preparing for a lesson.”
Alastor (audible): “This is your choice… not mine.”
Kendra: “Why do those words sound like a curse?”
Both men now circle. Alastor extends his long arms for a test of strength.
Colin: “Test of strength… and Wildfire accepts!”
They lock hands. Tension builds. Wildfire strains—but Alastor powers forward, slowly bending Wildfire to one knee, then both. And then—Alastor deadlifts him straight into the air—
Colin: “He’s got him—Devil’s Clutch! The Uranage connects!”
Kendra: “That thud! Wildfire’s spine bounced off the canvas!”
Arvin: “That’s a full-body whiplash right there! Alastor just launched him!”
Wildfire rolls to his side, gasping. Alastor crouches beside him, voice calm but cutting.
Alastor (audible): “You can still leave.”
He backs away, arms wide, inviting the exit.
Colin: “Second time! Alastor’s not going for the pin—he’s offering the door!”
Kendra: “It’s psychological warfare. He’s planting doubt, every time Wildfire gets hit.”
Lisa-Ann: “This isn’t just physical domination—it’s mental destruction.”
Wildfire pulls himself up, fury in his eyes. He charges—Alastor side-steps, grabs the wrist—Snap Powerslam!
Colin: “Snap Powerslam! That was brutal and lightning fast!”
Kendra: “Wildfire’s ribs have got to be screaming!”
Lisa-Ann: “I’d be screaming too if my lungs were folded like laundry.”
Alastor kneels beside him again. Softly. Too softly.
Alastor (audible): “Final chance.”
He stands, walks over to the ropes—and holds them open again.
Colin: “That’s the third time! And each time—Alastor hits harder. He’s telling Wildfire: every refusal means more pain.”
Kendra: “I hate this. Not because it’s evil… but because it’s working.”
Lisa-Ann: “Man, I love this.”
Wildfire pushes to his feet, defiant. He charges again—Alastor grabs the tights and tosses him up and over the top rope!
Colin: “And now Wildfire’s dumped to the outside! No finesse—just straight disrespect!”
Kendra: “He landed hard on his hip! He’s not moving right away—”
Lisa-Ann: “Call it. Just call it, ref.”
The referee begins the count.
Ref: “ONE!”
Colin: “And now the official starts the count. Alastor is just standing at the ropes, watching. No gloating. No motion. Just… watching.”
Ref: “TWO!”
Kendra: “This is a horror show. A methodical, orchestrated horror show.”
Ref: “THREE!”
Lisa-Ann: “Wildfire’s stirring. Good for him. But he should stay down. Take the count-out and walk with his spine intact.”
Ref: “FOUR!”
Wildfire grabs the barricade, breathing heavy. His eyes are glassy—but determined.
Colin: “Say what you want about Wildfire, but the man has guts.”
Ref: “FIVE!”
Kendra: “More than guts. He’s got pride. And sometimes… that’s dangerous.”
Ref: “SIX!”
Colin McRae: “Wildfire’s crawling—he’s on all fours now—come on, kid!”
Ref: “SEVEN!”
Kendra Mavis: “He’s up—HE’S IN! Wildfire beats the count!”
Lisa-Ann Walter: “Why?! WHY, man?! Nobody would blame you for staying down!”
Alastor doesn’t move. Doesn’t blink. Just turns away… and slowly straightens his sleeves.
Colin: “He turned his back. Alastor just turned his back on Wildfire.”
Kendra: “That’s insult to injury. He doesn’t see Wildfire as a threat—he sees him as a lesson plan.”
Wildfire lunges! Tries a running forearm—Alastor spins—spinebuster!
Colin: “OH! Spine-shattering impact! Wildfire tried to catch him slipping—but Alastor planted him!”
Lisa-Ann: “That canvas has a dent in it now.”
Alastor rolls to his feet, slow and graceful, towering over his opponent.
Kendra: “It’s clinical. Everything Alastor does—it’s clean, it’s cold, it’s surgical.”
He backs off a few steps, arms open wide again.
Colin: “And here we go again. Fourth time. He’s giving Wildfire a choice. He’s daring him.”
Alastor (audible): “This is not cruelty. This is mercy.”
Wildfire clutches his back… and roars, throwing himself up to his feet!
Kendra: “He said no. He’s said it four times. And he’s saying it again with his fists!”
Colin: “Wildfire firing off now—right hand! Another! Back elbow! Spinning heel kick—ALASTOR STUMBLES!”
Lisa-Ann: “No way!”
Colin: “Wildfire off the ropes—basement dropkick to the knee! ALASTOR’S DOWN TO ONE KNEE!”
Kendra: “That’s the first time Alastor’s dropped! Wildfire’s got a pulse and he’s making it count!”
_Wildfire climbs the second rope, fists clenched—he leaps—**
DIVING BLOCKBUSTER!
**
Colin: “BLOCKBUSTER! The Radio Demon is down!”
Lisa-Ann: “And Wildfire’s crawling for a cover—!”
_1!
2—KICKOUT!_
Colin: “Just two! But Wildfire rocked the demon for the first time tonight!”
Kendra: “He needed that. He needed the world to see that Alastor can be hurt.”
_Wildfire pulls Alastor by the head—goes for a suplex—he lifts—
No!
Alastor blocks.
He lifts.
He turns.
He tosses Wildfire like a ragdoll with a Deadlift Gutwrench Powerbomb!_
Colin: “GOOD GOD! What was that?! That wasn’t a suplex—that was a punishment!”
Kendra: “He folded him in half like a horror novel!”
Lisa-Ann: “It’s over. Reset the scales. Alastor’s not rattled—he’s reloaded.”
Alastor stands slowly. Wildfire is flat. Twitching. Groaning. And once again…
The ropes part.
Colin: “Fifth time. Alastor is opening the ropes. Again. He’s not laughing. He’s not mocking. This is something else.”
Alastor (audible): “You don’t belong in this chapter. Walk away before the story ends.”
Kendra: “That’s a demon, a monster, and a mentor all in one. And it’s terrifying.”
Colin: “What now for Wildfire? How many times can a man say no before he breaks?”
Colin McRae: “Look at him... look at Wildfire.”
Wildfire is on one knee near the ropes, hand clutched tight to his ribs. The camera zooms in on his face—drenched in sweat, jaw clenched, eyes locked on the exit Alastor has once again offered.
Kendra Mavis: “He’s thinking about it. You can see it.”
Lisa-Ann Walter: “He should! He’s not going to win this, and the Radio Demon’s giving him a free pass!”
Colin: “But he’s shaking his head. He’s—YES! Wildfire says no again!”
The crowd, surprisingly, begins to stir... a few claps. Then cheers. Then a swell of support.
Kendra: “They’re behind him! Even the fans that usually boo the guy—Colin, they respect the fight in him!”
Colin: “And Wildfire is UP! He’s CHARGING—!”
Lisa-Ann: “NO, NO—!”
Alastor swings for a Uranage Slam—but Wildfire twists—spins—grabs the head—DDT!
Colin: “DDT! Spiked him right into the mat!”
Kendra: “Alastor is dazed! Wildfire’s got a window, and he’s crashing through it!”
Colin: “Wildfire is on the move—springboard back in—Springboard Enzuigiri! He hits the mark!”
Lisa-Ann: “Don’t give him space—DON’T give him space!”
Colin: “Running dropkick to the chest—Alastor slumps to the corner—Wildfire with a handspring back elbow! The pace is blistering!”
Kendra: “He’s doing everything he can to keep the pressure on. He knows one mistake, and it's back to hell.”
Colin: “Now a Snap German Suplex—Wildfire rolls through—Buzzsaw Kick! Alastor’s head rocks!”
Kendra: “He hasn’t gone for a cover yet. Wildfire knows—he knows Alastor’s not human in there.”
Alastor stirs... Wildfire grabs him by the head...
Colin: “He’s calling for it! This could be the moment—BOOM2! He plants the Radio Demon!”
Kendra: “Cover! He’s going for the cover!”
1!
Colin: “Could this be—”
**Alastor kicks out at ONE—and LAUNCHES Wildfire across the ring, under the bottom rope and to the outside!_
Lisa-Ann: “HOLY—he threw him off like a corpse!”
Kendra: “That wasn’t a kickout. That was an exorcism.”
Inside the ring, Alastor hasn’t moved for a moment. He’s lying still… then… his upper body slowly rises. Perfectly vertical. No hands. Like something out of a nightmare.
Colin: “Oh no. Oh no. Look at the eyes.”
The camera zooms in. The grin remains. But Alastor’s eyes are different now—wide, shining red, empty of patience. Predatory.
Kendra: “He’s changed. That mask of mercy? Gone. That’s not the gentleman anymore—that’s the demon.”
Lisa-Ann: “This is where you run, Wildfire. You messed with the wrong page of the book.”
Colin: “And now we’re entering the final act. Wildfire had his fire—he had his moment. But the Radio Demon is done playing.”
Colin McRae: “Alastor’s not wasting time now—he’s stalking Wildfire like a predator, Kendra.”
Kendra Mavis: “And Wildfire—he’s barely holding on! He took everything Alastor had, but Alastor’s eyes... they’re cold, calculating. It’s like he’s savoring the destruction now.”
Lisa-Ann Walter: “Yeah, savoring the flames, Kendra. Wildfire doesn’t stand a chance. This is Alastor’s world.”
Alastor steps out of the corner, his devilish smile never fading, even as he slowly walks toward Wildfire. Grabbing a fistful of Wildfire’s hair, he yanks him off the mat and drags him back into the ring like a ragdoll.
Colin: “Alastor’s got him by the hair—look at the raw power as he drags him back inside! The intensity in Alastor’s eyes—it’s terrifying!”
Kendra: “And he’s not letting up, Colin. He’s just throwing Wildfire around like he’s a child! First, a spinning belly-to-belly suplex! Then another one—launches Wildfire across the ring!”
Lisa-Ann: “This is like watching a lion toy with its food. I love it.”
Alastor grins, fully in control now. He lifts Wildfire effortlessly and positions him... then, with malicious precision, he hits the Broken Melody—the spinning snapmare driver! The ring shakes under the impact.
Colin: “BROKEN MELODY! That could be the end—right there!”
Kendra: “But no—he’s not done!”
Alastor stares down at the crumpled Wildfire, his grin stretching wider, as he moves swiftly into his next move: Shadow’s Embrace. Alastor grabs Wildfire’s head, locks him in a tight grip, and drops him with a devastating brainbuster that spikes Wildfire’s skull into the mat!
Colin: “SHADOW’S EMBRACE! Alastor’s two most brutal moves back-to-back, and this one could be over right here!”
Kendra: “Everyone in MAWL is used to seeing Alastor end things after that combination. Nobody’s kicked out of it.”
Alastor goes for the cover—
1!
2!
Colin: “This is it, this is over—!”
Wildfire kicks out—just in time! The crowd gasps in disbelief. The commentary booth is stunned.
Lisa-Ann: “WHAT?! He kicked out! NOBODY kicks out of that combo!”
Kendra: “Wildfire... he’s... he’s still alive! He’s still fighting!”
Colin: “How? How did Wildfire kick out of that? Alastor can’t believe it! He’s staring at him—absolutely shocked.”
Alastor stands still for a moment, tilting his head at Wildfire, who is barely holding onto the ropes, his chest heaving with desperation.
Kendra: “Look at this. The last man who kicked out of Shadow’s Embrace was—was no one!”
Colin: “And Wildfire’s crawling, trying to hold on—he’s yelling something!”
Wildfire: “YOU WILL HAVE TO KILL ME TO BEAT ME!”
Lisa-Ann: “Bold words. But we’ve all seen how this story ends. Wildfire just bought himself some time.”
Kendra: “But how much? How much more can he take, Colin? Alastor looks... dangerous now—like a man who’s finally been challenged.”
_Alastor’s expression darkens. He steps forward, grabbing Wildfire again—intending to finish it. But Wildfire springs into action, with a desperation roll-up! His feet on the ropes—*
Colin: “Roll-up! Wildfire’s got the leverage—this could be it!”
1!
2!
Kendra: “No! Not quite! Just barely a two count!”
Arvin: “A close two count—Alastor almost lost there—!”
Colin: “But it didn’t last long—Alastor just stands back up, and—OH MY GOD!”
Alastor catches Wildfire’s momentum as he stands—Devil’s Encore! A brutal spinning back elbow! Wildfire is rocked!
Kendra: “Devil’s Encore! That could be it now! Wildfire’s out cold—!”
Colin: “And now, Alastor's taking it to the end... Final Broadcast—!”
Alastor pulls Wildfire into a standing position, nails the Final Broadcast, and covers him for the pin.
1!
2!
3!
Alastor wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, the Radio Demon, ALASTOR!
Alastor stands in the ring, his smile slowly fading, his killer gaze softening as the eerie intensity dissipates. He walks over to his corner, calmly collecting his things. He glances over at Wildfire, still on the mat, and then back to his cane and jacket. A slow, deliberate pause before Alastor speaks again, his voice piercing the silence.
Alastor (into the mic, his voice smooth and chilling):
“Well, well, well... Elise Mae He. You see, this good man’s broken body is entirely on your head. Not mine. You gave him a dream—oh, yes, a lovely little dream. But it was a dream that was always out of reach, wasn’t it? So fragile, so fleeting... and now, it’s shattered. How quaint.”
Alastor steps toward Wildfire, his eyes gleaming with dark amusement, though his smile remains calm and detached.
Alastor (mockingly somber):
“I didn’t want to do this, darling. I didn’t want to break him. But you—you gave him false hope. False hope. And you let him believe he could walk this path... when all he was walking toward was his own destruction. You could’ve saved him, Elise. You could’ve spared him... but instead, you sent him to me. And now look at him.”
He pauses, looking down at Wildfire, his expression unreadable but for that ever-present smile that never fades, no matter how much pain he’s caused.
Alastor (with a soft chuckle, leaning in closer):
“Wildfire, I speak to you now... When you wake up from this foolishness, when you finally realize the truth... that she’s not on your side, you’ll know where to find me. Oh, and when you do... you better bring a better dream, because this one is already dead.”
Alastor pulls out a business card from his jacket with an almost ritualistic flourish. He places it gently on Wildfire’s chest, then straightens up, giving one last look around the ring.
Alastor (voice now rising in a hauntingly polite manner):
“I do hope you find the strength to see reason... though I doubt it. We all know where this ends.”
The crowd murmurs, the tension in the air thick as Alastor turns to leave. His grip on his cane tightens, but before he can exit, the lights in the arena suddenly cut out, plunging everything into darkness. The crowd gasps, the atmosphere turning electric with suspense. The only sound that remains is the eerie crackle of a radio coming to life somewhere in the ring. The static hums and grows, cutting through the silence, before faint whispers are heard—soft, haunting.
Lisa-Ann Walter: “What the hell is happening now?! Where did Alastor go?!”
Kendra Mavis: “The lights... they’re out! What is that sound? Is that... a radio?”
Colin McRae: “It’s all gone dark... and Alastor is nowhere to be found! What does this mean for Wildfire?!”
The radio continues to crackle, its eerie sound filling the air. Then, slowly, a soft, mechanical click echoes, and the static gives way to only the sounds of an empty frequency, leaving a chilling quiet behind. There’s no sign of Alastor. He’s gone. Only the radio remains in the center of the ring, an ominous symbol of his departure.
Gradually, the lights flicker back on. The arena is alive with confused murmurs, the crowd on edge, wondering what just happened. Wildfire, still barely conscious, struggles to push himself to his feet. As he does, he notices the business card placed on his chest and the radio still lying ominously in the ring. His eyes narrow, confused and weary, but before he can act, the crowd erupts in a standing ovation—cheering wildly for his bravery and heart, despite the devastating loss.
Colin McRae: “Unbelievable... Alastor has vanished... but Wildfire... Wildfire earned the respect of these fans tonight. What a show of heart. They know what kind of fight he brought!”
Using the ropes for support, Wildfire slowly climbs to his feet. The camera zooms in on his face as he stares at the business card and the radio, his body battered but his spirit unbroken. He casts one last look at the crowd, the fans still cheering for him. Then, with determination, he rolls out of the ring and makes his way toward the barricade, where his family is waiting for him.
Kendra Mavis: “What a night. Wildfire... he may have lost the match, but he won the crowd’s respect tonight. This wasn’t just a battle in the ring; it was a battle of the will.”
Lisa-Ann Walter: “Yeah, I don’t care what the fans think. Wildfire lost. Alastor may be gone for now, but mark my words—he will never forget what happened here tonight.”
The camera lingers on Wildfire as he walks up the ramp, supported by his family. The arena erupts into a final, thunderous ovation. Alastor’s shadow still lingers, even in his absence, and the lingering radio crackle echoes through the arena until the scene fades to black.
The low, mournful organ intro of "House of the Rising Sun" filters through the space of the Currency Cartel's headquarters. This isn't some dingy backroom. It's a monument to their ambition, a converted cathedral of commerce. It's stained-glass windows now depicting stylized bulls and bears locked in eternal conflict. The Cartel's symbol, a serpent coiled around a stack of gold coins, emblazoned above what was once the altar.
♫♫ There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
Dear God, I know I was one ♫♫
The camera pans across a sea of faces.Sharp-suited financiers, traders whose eyes gleam with predatory light, and street level enforcers stand shoulder-to-shoulder. Distinct among them are the Contra Unit soldiers, their black and silver tactical gear a stark contrast to the civilian attire. Their faces are disciplined, but a current of anticipation runs through their ranks. They are the disciplined fist to the Cartel's strategic mind.
The camera focuses on a massive Currency Cartel banner, the serpent and gold dominant, that serves as the backdrop to an expansive stage. At its center, behind a podium of polished black marble, stands Keyser Söze.
His suit a dark grey that seems to absorb the light around him. He is a picture of calm, almost unnerving stillness. The camera completes a slow, deliberate 360 degree rotation around him, emphasizing not just the adoring masses but the sheer, organized power he commands. The music swells slightly, then fades to a barely audible thrum as he begins to speak, his voice measured, yet carrying an undeniable weight that silences the murmuring crowd.
Keyser: My people. Architects of the new order. I feel like I say this every week, because every week it remains profoundly, undeniably true. Our movement, our Currency Cartel, has once again made significant, irreversible progress.
A low, approving rumble from the crowd.
Keyser: To those few souls who would still cling to the shadows of doubt, who whisper anxieties about the totality of my vision, today I bring you not just rhetoric, but tangible, glittering proof of our success.
With a deliberate, almost theatrical slowness, Keyser Soze reaches beneath the podium. He produces the Aries Championship, its gold plates catching the light. It’s not a gesture of boisterous triumph, but of calculated presentation, like a king displaying a captured enemy standard.
Keyser: At Taxiderb…we didn't just participate. We didn't just compete. We dictated. We forced the petrified powers that be in MAWL, that antiquated relic of a bygone era, to recognize us. They were compelled, by the sheer inevitability of our presence, to put this very championship on the line against our herald of consequence, our enforcer… SlowMo Tapout!
The crowd erupts. The financiers cheer, the traders roar, and even the disciplined Contra Unit soldiers break their stoic silence with a unified, guttural chant of "TAPOUT! TAPOUT! TAPOUT!"
SlowMo, standing just off stage, a figure of brutal compact power, simply cracks her knuckles, the sound unnaturally loud in a brief lull.
Keyser: Of course, she does what she always does. She dismantles. She deconstructs. She snaps bones with the casual indifference of an artist breaking old clay, and she forces her opponent to tap, to submit, to acknowledge the new, unyielding reality. The Aries Championship now resides where it truly belongs, under the banner of the Currency Cartel!
The crowd roars again, the sound echoing through the vast hall. Some toss fistfuls of custom Cartel currency into the air, creating a brief, shimmering rain of their own symbolic wealth.
Keyser: Now, MAWL, in their desperation, in their flailing attempts to appear relevant, is represented by the Cartel! We are one in the very same, intertwined, just as I articulated we would be. MAWL is under our influence, a puppet whose strings we now hold. And it doesn't stop here. Oh no, this is merely the overture. Now, MAWL, in its infinite folly, puts another one of their supposed top champions, this Wonderwolf…
Keyser chuckles, a dry, humourless sound that sends a shiver through some.
Keyser: …against THEIR CHAMPION… which means, of course, OUR CHAMPION, SlowMo Tapout! Wonderwolf… a fascinating specimen. In many ways, he attempts to mimic our dear, devastating SlowMo. He employs submission moves, he seeks to control. But…
Keyser leans forward, his voice dropping to a more conspiratorial tone.
Keyser: …Where the two differ, my friends, is in the very marrow of their being. Wonderwolf doesn't have a goal. He drifts. He doesn't have a purpose etched into his soul. Wonderwolf doesn't possess the clarity of vision that guides our journey, our inexorable ascent. He is laid back, they say. Relaxed. A 'go with the flow' kind of person.
Keyser scoffs, a small, dismissive sound.
Keyser: He lacks that vital, primal killer instinct. He lacks the will, the absolute, unbending resolve to do what must be done, to carve out destiny from the raw, unwilling stone of the world. And yes, while he pathetically clings to the backing of MAWL, let us be clear. They are a dying breed, a dinosaur gazing up at the asteroid, driven by the sheer, pathetic desperation to survive just one more day. We, however, know what must be done. Our foot is not merely in the door with MAWL. Ee are remodeling the house from the inside out. After all, we hold their Aries Championship. A significant piece of their crumbling empire.
Keyser paces slowly, the Aries title still in one hand, the other gesturing expansively.
Keyser: But what if we didn't stop there? What if we continue to systematically dismantle their champions, one by one? We defeated the former Aries champion, Chantarelle, a celebrated figure, and in doing so, proved beyond any shadow of a doubt that SlowMo is the far superior, far more evolved talent. What if we inflict the same irrefutable truth upon Wonderwolf? What if we don't just stop here, content with a single trophy? What if we methodically beat champion after champion? What if we continue to extinguish every flickering candle of hope for anyone foolish enough to side with this dying federation? Think of the restructuring we could accomplish! The new markets we could open! The old guards we could permanently retire!
Keyser stops, his eyes sweeping across the fervent faces before him.
Keyser: Well, my people, wonder no more. I have shown you here today, with this gold, that my vision is not a dream, but a meticulously crafted blueprint leading us down the only path that matters. That is the path of absolute dominion. We will not stop here. Our war machine, fueled by your dedication and executed by warriors like SlowMo and the unshakeable Contra Unit, will continue its relentless advance against MAWL. We will continue to capture their pathetic gold, each piece a nail in their federation's coffin, and we will smite all who would dare stand against us. Wonderwolf will be just another footnote, another fading career in the long, distinguished list of once vaunted champions and defunct federations that we, the Currency Cartel, have left in our wake. Like so many forgotten towns on a map, their names will barely be whispered.
Keyser raises the Aries Championship high again, its reflection dancing in his eyes.
Keyser: When all is said and done, when the dust of their collapse finally settles, the Aries championship and the Aries champion will be synonymous with MAWL. That, my friends, means the Currency Cartel will be synonymous with MAWL. It is not a possibility. It is not a probability. It is an inevitability. MAWL, much like so many proud, defiant entities before them, who thought they could resist the tide of progress, will have no choice. They will bend the knee. They will break. They will… HAIL THE CURRENCY CARTEL!
The crowd explodes in a deafening wave of sound, a cacophony of cheers, stomping feet, and the unified, thunderous cry. "HAIL KEYSER! HAIL THE CARTEL!" The Contra Unit soldiers raise their fists in a synchronized, powerful salute. Keyser Soze watches them, a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes, perhaps satisfaction, perhaps the contemplation of his next move. The lights on stage flare, then begin to dim slowly as the mournful strains of the song return, louder this time, a haunting underscore to the Cartel's chilling declaration.
♫♫Oh, mother, tell your children
Not to do what I have done
To spend your lives in sin and misery
In the house of the rising sun♫♫
The camera lingers on Keyser Soze's silhouette against the massive banner, the Aries Championship still held high, a golden promise of ruin for his enemies, before fading to black.
Colin: Slow and Keyser are convinced of their absolute dominance over MAWL.
Kendra: Her winning that title did NOT help her ego.
Lisa-Ann: I mean, would we be calling that out if it was a dude?
Kendra: Yes. Absolutely. Watch SM's promos.
SLOWMO TAPOUT VS WONDERWOLF
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
Arena Lights go out, while heavy fog starts filling the entrance ramp, Wonderwolf's logo flashes over the screen, and an introductory video starts playing, as Wonderwolf makes his way to the ring.
Ash: From Amsterdam, Netherlands, weighing 200 pounds, the Asylum Champion, WONDERWOLF!
The light go out and a spotlight hits the center of the ring where Wonderwolf starts howling.
The air in the arena grows cold as the logo of the military arm of the Currency Cartel's Contra Unit flashes on the screen. The Contra Unit's leader, SlowMo Tapout enters the arena with the rest of the Currency Cartel. First person, blasting through the curtains, is Wardy Chin and his Boys:
Wardy Chin: BOYS!... Let's go break some hearts! Behind Wardy walks Keyser Söze, wearing a black suit rumoured to cost more than a family sedan. He cautiously lights a cigar and lets out a plume of smoke as he walks towards the ring.
The last one out is SlowMo Tapout, in full combat gear.
She has a mischievous, yet sadistic look on her face as she uses both arms to proudly hold up the Currency Cartel Flag above her head.
The fans chant SlowMo's name and reach out to simply touch her as she walks around the ring. SlowMo enters the ring and drapes the Cartel's flag over the top rope as the ring announcer introduces her.
Ash: Representing the Currency Cartel. Standing at five feet four inches, she is the Suplex Demon. She is the Queen of Queen's Street West. Hailing from Van Nuys, Toronto, Canada. She is the Aries Champion, SlowMo, Tapoooooout!
SlowMo backs up into the her corner and crouches down as Keyser whispers the game plan of the match into her ear. SlowMo nods and giggles maniacally while looking across the ring and nodding at Keyer's every word.
The bell rings.
Colin: We are experiencing absolute submission royalty in the ring right now. WonderWolf and Slow both reaching for a test of strength. Slow twisting Wonder down, Wonder trying to push back out and Slow kicks out his left leg giving her the advantage into a Capture Suplex! Keeping the arm locked in and twisting for Fujiwara!
Kendra: Wonder struggling a bit, but fighting back to his feet, backflip and he hits an arm wringer flip! Lock onto Slow with an arm-trapped headlock, working her back to the ground into a crossface.
Lisa Ann: Slow's face just reads "Bitch Please" through it and honestly I respect the hell out of that. She holds court like a boss.
Colin: Slow bites Wonder's wrist! Wonder breaks the hold and Slow grabs his hand, STOMP on the hand! Kick to the forearm and wrist! Bringing him down with another kick to the wrist and huge stomp to the forearm and just working up the arm with surgical precision.
Kendra: Wonderwolf looks to be in considerable duress, and Slow is relishing every wince of pain. She yanks hard on the arm and stomping now to the shoulder! She's looking to pull the arm off the bone!
Colin: Wonder's gotta get away from this if he wants to be fully functional, let alone win.
Lisa Ann: This kinda makes me want a chicken drumstick.
Kendra: Slow pulls Wonderwolf's arms HARD into a deadlift Tiger Suplex! Going for the pin-
1!
2!
Colin: Wonderwolf gets his feet up and shaking off his arm, using his good arm to set up the DDT and hook for the Fisherman! Wonderwolf gets his good arm ready for a Mandible Claw!!
Lisa Ann: You're gonna put your hand into the mouth of someone who's already bitten you? Really?
Colin: Yeah, I gotta agree that wasn't the smartest move at first, but he lowers her down and is using his other arm to hold her mouth open. Slow is trying to fight his arms off, she can't bite down but she can pull off the arms perhaps, and she's successful for a moment but he knees her in the opening of her mouth and goes back in!
Kendra: You have to be more vicious when fighting SlowMo, she's not afraid to get dirty, last match a Currency Cartel Flag doubled as a Kendo Stick. And if that means kneeing someone in the mouth so be it.
Lisa Ann: Makes the fight much more interesting than just a bunch of people putting holds on each other. No offense to submission wrestling but it's a bit like baking bread, waiting for the oven to tick.
Kendra: I have to agree with you. I love a good submission finish, but after doing a bunch of other things. Wonderwolf still holding that Mandible, Slow with a low blow kick! He's bent over and she comes off the ropes for a Virtual Riot! Going for the cover-
1!
2!
Colin: Wonder kicks!! Slow is frustrated, Wonder uses her arguing with the ref to hit a Cobra Clutch Suplex! Going for the pin -
1!
2!
TH-NO!
Colin: Wonder trying to keep his cool, throws Slow off the ropes, going for the arm drag but Slow comes back to her feet and back around, hands in pockets Huracanrana!! And she goes down to lock in the Jaws of Deleva Jelain!! She gets in the hold!! This one could truly be all she wrote!
Kendra: Wonderwolf fighting to get to the ropes, and she's pulling him back, but he isn't giving up-
The titantron flares up and Scott bangs his head to "Drain You" as he pours vials of Slow's vape liquid down into a drain.
Lisa Ann: Oh you're just askin' for it now.
Kendra: He thinks he's going to throw Slow off her game, it looks like it just increased her anger tenfold and she WRENCHES that hold on WonderWolf!! It's too much for him!!! He taps!
SlowMo Tapout wins by Submission!
Ash: Here is your winner, SlowMo Tapout!
Lisa Ann: That plan of Scott Razor's backfired on him and WonderWolf took the brunt of it!
Colin: He still is! SlowMo hasn't let the hold go yet!
Kendra: The Refs trying to break Slow's hold and Keyser and Wardy and his boys are blocking the refs!
Colin: CERRADOR WITH A KENDO STICK! HE HITS SLOW IN THE HEAD! Slow chases Cerrador up the ramp!
Kendra: They're not done, that's for sure.
Colin: Down to the last 3 matches!
Lisa Ann: And it's going to be absolutely wild!
ACE ANARCHY VS TANK VANGUARD
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
White sparks rain down over the entrance as Ace Anarchy bursts onto the stage.
Ash: First! From The Outback, weighing at 225 pounds, the Thunder from Down Under, he is the Inferno Champion, ACE ANARCHY!!
The screen behind him fills with falling ‘Joker’ playing cards, which ignite to reveal an anarchy symbol. As his theme song hits, red and white strobe lights flash in sync with the rhythm. Ace Anarchy throws his arms up, singing along behind his mask. He bounces down the ramp, high-fiving and fist-bumping fans before sliding into the ring, ready for action.
The lights dim as green and red lasers cut through the darkness. A thunderous explosion of artillery-style pyro erupts at the entrance. Tank Vanguard steps onto the stage, scanning the crowd before giving a sharp salute.
Ash: And his opponent! From the Barracks, weighing in at 275 pounds, Scorched Earth TANK VANGUARD!
His titantron displays a scorched wasteland, the word TANK appearing behind him.
At the ring steps, he pauses, mimics firing a pistol at a random audience member, then steps inside. He tests the ropes, cracks his neck, then prepares for battle.
The bell rings.
Colin: The enmity between these two is unmistakable. Anarchy wasting no time and going for a series of forearms right to the face of Tank, Tank seems largely unothered and shrugs out his shoulders, MOWS DOWN ANARCHY WITH A SHORT ARM LARIAT! Anarchy back to his feet and Tank rocks him with a snap powerslam! Anarchy refusing to stay down and ducks another huge lariat, Superkick by Anarchy! That has enough force to spin Tank around and Spinning Powerslam by Anarchy!
Kendra: You'd think it was more looking at the 2 of them but there's only a 50 pound difference between Anarchy and Vanguard.
Lisa Ann: You think he's limber?
Kendra: Yeah, I think so.
Lisa Ann: Nice.
Colin: Anarchy stomping out Tank and pulling him up for a snap powerslam of his own! Going for the pin-
1!
Kendra: Tank could have just lifted his shoulder and instead is choosing to benchpress Anarchy and launches him in the air! Picking Anarchy up with one army and going for that Concussive Blast-ANARCHY QUICK REVERSAL INTO A DOWN WITH THE SYSTEM - NO! TANK REFUSING TO COME DOWN WITH HIM AND ANARCHY HITS THE MAT! GOING FOR A STALLING VERTICAL SUPLEX!
Lisa Ann: This is what I don't get about Stalling moves, why doesn't the other person just go for a move?
Colin: That...is a valid question and it seems Ace agrees with you, DOWN WITH THE SYSTEM!
1!
2!
Kendra: Tank kicks from the Down! Ace a little in shock, Tank whips him off the ropes and a HUGE BOOT! Tank pulling him up and off the ropes again and ANOTHER HUGE BOOT! One more? One more....off the ropes and Ace ducks! Back around and here we go STATE OF DECAY!
1!
2!
3!
Ace Anarchy wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, the Thunder from Down Under, ACE ANARCHY!
Lisa Ann: Ace snaps him like a Pretzel!
Kendra: We're gonna keep the party moving, last two matches as the Mania Champ is put into a precarious situation.
HANDICAP MATCH
BALOR WOLFE VS A.M. BROOKS AND MAGNUS
Ding ding ding!
Ash: The following contest is a handicap match and it is scheduled for one fall!
📢 [Arena Lights Cut to Black – A Single Spotlight Flickers at the Top of the Ramp]
🎵 "Show me how to lie, you're getting better all the time..."
📢 [Arena Lights Cut to Black – A Single Spotlight Flickers at the Top of the Ramp]
🎵 "Show me how to lie, you're getting better all the time..."
💜 (SYNC MOMENT: The first guitar riff hits, and a purple and white strobe light pulses to life, illuminating a lone figure sitting cross-legged at the top of the stage. His dog mask conceals his face, head bowed in stillness.)
🔥 The anticipation builds, the energy thick in the air as the crowd stirs.
🎵 "And turning all against the one, is an art that's hard to teach..."
📢 Ash:
"First... accompanied to the ring by his muse, Eros, and The Radio Demon, Alastor…
🔥 The tension stretches for just a moment longer—
📢 "From Sydney, Australia... weighing in at 230 pounds...
HE IS THE MAWL MANIA CHAMPION…
THE CHAMPION OF THE GODS... BALOR WOLFE!!"
🎵 "Another clever word sets off an unsuspecting herd..."
💜 (SYNC MOMENT: As the bass kicks in, Balor’s fingers twitch. Then—suddenly—he lifts his head, his piercing gaze visible beneath the mask. The camera zooms in, capturing the eerie calm before the storm.)
🎵 "And as you step back into line, a mob jumps to their feet..."
🔥 (SYNC MOMENT: The beat drops—Eros steps forward, placing a hand on Balor’s shoulder before gently removing his mask. The crowd erupts as Balor’s platinum blonde hair and lip rings gleam under the lights. The transformation is complete.)
🎵 "Now dance, fucker, dance—man, he never had a chance!"
🔥 (Alastor steps beside Balor, his grin devilish. With an exaggerated flourish, he presents the MAWL MANIA Championship belt. Balor grips it tightly, raising it high as the crowd roars in approval.)
🎵 "You're gonna go far, kid!"
💜 (SYNC MOMENT: Balor stops mid-ramp, running a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply before suddenly sprinting forward, his focus locked in.)
🔥 (He leaps onto the apron in a single bound, gripping the ropes as he surveys the crowd.)
💥 (SYNC MOMENT: Balor springboards clean over the top rope, landing effortlessly in the center of the ring, the championship belt never leaving his grasp.)
🎵 "When you walk away, nothing more to say..."
🔥 (As the second verse begins, Balor ascends the turnbuckle, standing tall, arms outstretched, the MAWL MANIA Championship still in his right hand. His eyes close, absorbing the moment.)
📢 (Then—just as the second "You're gonna go far, kid!" hits—the music CUTS. The arena is plunged into silence.)
⏳ A breath. A pause. Then—
💜 (SYNC MOMENT: The crowd takes over, roaring the chorus in unison.)
🎵 "With a thousand lies and a good disguise
Hit 'em right between the eyes
Hit 'em right between the eyes!"
🔥 (SYNC MOMENT: Balor remains frozen, standing on the turnbuckle, letting the crowd’s deafening energy wash over him. Then, with a slow, deliberate motion, he drops down, pacing toward the center of the ring, his smirk just barely visible.)
📢 The lights flicker back to normal—Balor remains still, his focus razor-sharp. He slowly approaches Eros and hands him the championship. Eros takes the belt with a nod, holding it as Balor calmly sits cross-legged in the corner, waiting... watching... ready for battle.
AM Brooks and Magnus come out with a red carpet graphic lining the ramp, Magnus almost acting as a bodyguard.
Ash: And his opponents! Representing Team SuperStarz, the First Lady of Punk, AM Brooks, and MAGNUS!
The bell rings.
Colin McRae:
And there’s the bell! We are underway in this two-on-one handicap match, and it’s starting with Balor Wolfe face-to-face with AM Brooks! Magnus hanging back on the apron for now, but don’t let the numbers fool you—this is going to be intense.
Lisa Ann Walter:
Yeah, intense for Balor’s medical bill after this. What kind of idiot signs up for a handicap match against those two?
Kendra Mavis:
You’re forgetting who Balor Wolfe is. He’s not just a fighter—he’s the Champion of the Gods. And with Alastor and Eros watching on? That man’s walking in with backup, even if it’s not in the ring.
Colin McRae:
Brooks is grinning, circling him. She's got the mic—and here we go...
AM Brooks (off mic):
Aww, good doggy. Too bad it’s time for us to put you down now. You may have been a hero in the places you’ve been—but you’ve never come across someone with legendary status like me. And Maggie and I? We’re gonna put you back on the endangered list.
Lisa Ann Walter:
HA! That’s what I’m talking about! Put that mutt in his place!
Colin McRae:
Oh, wait a second—BALOR EXPLODES OUT OF NOWHERE—DIVINE FALL!!
Kendra Mavis:
WOOO!! That’s what I’m talking about! Did you see that?! She didn’t even finish her little monologue!
Colin McRae:
AM Brooks tried to talk tough but she got flattened! That brutal jumping cutter outta nowhere—Divine Fall connects clean and AM Brooks spills out of the ring like a ragdoll! Magnus is frozen!
Lisa Ann Walter:
Wait, wait—what just happened?!
Kendra Mavis:
You were saying, Walter?
Lisa Ann Walter:
I—I mean she wasn’t ready! She was talking!
Colin McRae:
And Balor didn’t care! He pops back to his feet—spins on one knee—that trademark cheeky grin of his planted firmly on his face as he stares straight at Magnus!
Magnus looks unsure on the apron, his eyes darting between AM Brooks writhing outside and Balor now crawling forward like a predator with a grin.
Colin McRae:
Wolfe just stalks him now! Magnus trying to get his footing—and Balor DRAGS him off the apron by the wrist—SLAMS his back into the apron! AGAIN! AND AGAIN!
Kendra Mavis:
He’s dissecting him! Listen to the impact, that’s gotta rattle the spine! Balor’s not just winning—he’s sending a message!
Colin McRae:
And he’s taunting Elisa Mae and Tamara now!
Balor slams Magnus into the steel steps, then turns his head to the front row, flashing a wink at Elisa Mae and blowing a kiss in Tamara’s direction before dragging Magnus toward the ring post.
Colin McRae:
Oh no—he’s not done! He lifts Magnus—BACK SUPLEX INTO THE POST!!
Kendra Mavis:
Magnus is crumbling! I don’t think he knows what hit him!
Alastor stands perfectly still, arms behind his back, smiling wide. Eros claps slowly, seated on the barricade like a king surveying his court.
Lisa Ann Walter:
Can we get security down here or something?! That’s not normal! There’s three of them! This isn’t fair!
Kendra Mavis:
You didn’t say anything when it was two-on-one against Balor.
Colin McRae:
Exactly. And right now, the numbers don’t matter—because Balor Wolfe is DOMINATING this match by himself! Brooks is down, Magnus is barely conscious, and the Champion of the Gods has the crowd in the palm of his hand!
The camera cuts to the front row—Elisa Mae raises an eyebrow, slightly impressed. Tamara Rivers leans in, clearly enjoying the chaos.
Colin McRae:
Folks, this match is already off the rails—and we’re just getting started!
Lisa Ann Walter:
And the referee has made her decision—Alastor and Eros are being ejected from ringside!
The arena explodes into boos as a pair of security crew members approach the smirking duo. Alastor simply tips his hat to the referee while Eros mockingly blows a kiss toward Elisa Mae and Rivers, who sit smugly in the front row.
Kendra Mavis:
This is absurd. They didn’t lay a single finger on anyone, and now they’re being sent away because Elise Mae couldn’t keep her ego in check!
Lisa Ann Walter:
They were a distraction. I don’t care how good your hair looks or how charming your Southern drawl is—rules are rules!
Colin McRae:
Well, the crowd doesn’t agree. Listen to this place!
The camera pans across the seething fans, booing and throwing thumbs down as Alastor calmly walks backwards up the ramp, hands folded behind his back, still grinning like a wolf in a church. Eros follows, arms raised in mock surrender.
Colin McRae:
And just like that, Balor Wolfe is truly on his own. This handicap match just became reality.
Kendra Mavis:
He’s been handling them just fine, but this? It’s exactly what Brooks and Magnus wanted. They knew they couldn’t hang without tipping the scales.
Colin McRae:
And here they come—Brooks and Magnus, looking to finish the job—charging in together again—
Kendra Mavis:
DOUBLE TEAM—
Colin McRae:
NO! COUNTER! BALOR BURSTS FORWARD—HEART OF THE WOLFE!!!
The crowd erupts as Balor SPEARS BOTH Brooks and Magnus at once, a jaw-dropping double spear that sends them crashing down in a heap of limbs and shock.
Kendra Mavis:
OH MY GOD! He just folded them in half!! That’s the Heart of the Wolfe, and that’s why he’s the MAWL Mania Champion!
Lisa Ann Walter:
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! That’s illegal! That’s gotta be illegal somehow!
Colin McRae:
Balor stands tall, breathing hard, soaking in the roar of the crowd. Elise and Tamara look furious in the front row—wait—wait a second—
The hard cam suddenly catches Tamara Rivers SLIDING UNDER THE BOTTOM ROPE from the front row, her eyes locked on Balor Wolfe like a missile.
Kendra Mavis:
Tamara—NO!
Colin McRae:
TAMARA RIVERS JUST SPEARED BALOR FROM BEHIND! WHAT THE HELL?! THE REF CALLS FOR THE BELL!!
[DING DING DING!!]
Lisa Ann Walter:
YES! That’s how you make a statement before MAWL Mayday!'
Colin McRae:
This match is a disqualification—but the match is over, and Tamara is going to town on Balor Wolfe! Elbows raining down—fists flying—Brooks and Magnus dragging themselves up—
Kendra Mavis:
This is disgusting! They’re jumping him three-on-one! This was the plan all along!
Colin McRae:
Brooks joins in—stomping Balor’s back—Magnus drops a running elbow! The champion is getting mugged before MAWL Mania and the crowd is letting them hear it!
Massive boos fill the arena as Elisa Mae stands, smug and satisfied, arms crossed as she watches the destruction unfold like an art piece. Tamara rips the MAWL Mania Championship from ringside and lifts it high above Balor's fallen body.
Kendra Mavis:
This isn’t just about a message—this is about weakening Balor before the biggest night of his career!
Colin McRae:
Where’s security?! Where’s the cavalry?!
Lisa Ann Walter:
Now this is how you set the stage for a title match! You don’t just challenge the champion—you humiliate him!
Colin McRae:
The Champion of the Gods lies broken in the center of the ring—and Tamara Rivers just sent a message to MAWL Mania. But at what cost?
Kendra Mavis:
This was never about fair competition. This was an ambush, plain and simple.
Colin McRae:
We need medical down here—Alastor and Eros are gone, the match is over—but this war? This war is just getting started.
Colin McRae:
Ladies and gentlemen, this is getting out of control! Tamara Rivers, Brooks, and Magnus are dismantling Balor Wolfe! The match is over—he won by DQ—but the beating continues!
Kendra Mavis:
It’s three-on-one again, and they’re dragging him out of the ring—oh, come on now, not here!
Colin McRae:
They’re heading this way—NO! Don’t do this!
The trio of attackers yanks Balor toward the commentary table, clearing monitors and slamming fists into his back. Rivers barks orders while Magnus and Brooks hoist Balor up, prepping to drive him through the table.
Lisa Ann Walter:
Now we’re talkin’! Break the desk! Send a message to everyone watching!
Kendra Mavis:
He’s the champion, Arvin! This isn’t making a statement—it’s assault!
Colin McRae:
Wait a second—WHAT THE—?
The crowd explodes as a blur sprints from the back—no music, no lights—just pure momentum.
Colin McRae:
IT’S ERIC VERNE! “ALL STAR” ERIC VERNE WITH A STEEL CHAIR IN HAND!!!
Lisa Ann Walter:
Where the hell did he come from?!
Colin McRae:
Rivers spots him just in time—she drops Balor and bails, ducking out and retreating up the ramp before Verne can swing. But Brooks and Magnus aren't so lucky—
Kendra Mavis:
CHAIR SHOT TO MAGNUS! Brooks eats one to the back! Verne is cleaning house!
Colin McRae:
The “All Star” is lighting them up! He tosses both back into the ring like yesterday’s trash!
Verne hurls Magnus into the ring under the bottom rope, then does the same with Brooks. Balor, slowly recovering, slides back inside with fire in his eyes.
Kendra Mavis:
Here we go—Balor’s back on his feet—and now we’ve got a level playing field!
Colin McRae:
Verne scoops up Brooks—and TOSSES HER RIGHT INTO BALOR’S GRASP!
Balor immediately shifts her into position—
Colin McRae:
LIGHTS OUT!! That crushing knee right to the jaw! Brooks is DOWN!
Kendra Mavis:
Good night and good riddance!
Colin McRae:
Now Magnus—Verne tosses him the same way—and Balor’s not done!
Balor snatches Magnus with force, lifts him high into a fireman’s carry—
Colin McRae:
LIGHTS OUT NUMBER TWO! The champ is sending a message of his own!
Kendra Mavis:
This is justice. This is payback for everything they tried to pull tonight.
Verne rolls out of the ring and grabs the MAWL Mania Championship title belt, glancing down at it as he returns to the ring. The camera catches the hesitation in his eyes—admiration, respect, and perhaps a touch of hunger.
Colin McRae:
Eric Verne... looking at the gold. You can see it—he’s thinking about what that means.
He walks over to Balor, holds the title out... and hands it to him.
Kendra Mavis:
That’s what respect looks like.
Balor slings the title over his shoulder. The crowd roars. Then, he extends a hand.
Verne stares at it for a moment—then nods, slapping the hand and pulling Balor in for a brief, respectful moment. They exchange quiet words—unheard by the crowd—but both men nod as Balor turns to leave.
Colin McRae:
No words needed. Real recognizes real.
Kendra Mavis:
If that’s a tease of what’s coming after MAWL Mayday, sign me up.
Balor walks up the ramp, raising the MAWL Championship high. The camera cuts to Eric Verne, standing alone in the ring, soaking in the ovation as fans chant his name.
Crowd:
“ALL STAR! ALL STAR! ALL STAR!”
Just before the camera fades, Elisa Mae He is seen storming from the front row, absolutely livid, knocking over a chair on her way backstage.
Lisa Ann Walter:
This wasn’t how it was supposed to go! This wasn't Elisa’s plan!
Colin McRae:
The plan backfired—and now the champion is standing tall, and Eric Verne just reminded the world who he is. If you weren’t excited for MAWL Mayday... you are now!
Lisa Ann: Hell yeah. Now that's a song I can get behind.
Colin: We wondered what Morgan Maverick was going to be like here in Philly, and here she is and here we go.
Morgan Maverick comes out in shiny gold Eagles gear. Despite the usual boos, she actually gets a smattering of cheers. She has a mic.
Morgan: Thank you! Thank you! A reminder to everyone else who is the greatest city in the WORRRRRRLD! With the greatest sports teams-
The crowd chants "Yeah!"
Morgan: The greatest FOOD -
"Yeah!"
Morgan: The best BEER -
"Yeah!"
Morgan: The BEST PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION -
"YEAH!"
Morgan: And of course the greatest superstar...IN THE WORRRRLD! Now where's the fake-ass Eagle-
Screech begins to run out giving high fives when -
Morgan: Whoa whoa whoa. Stop the music. STOP THE DAMN MUSIC. Don't high five this fool.
Morgan walks out of the ring down the ramp towards Screech.
Morgan: Where you from, Bayside? Where you from? Wait I remember this. Malloy Thunder Dojo, right?
Screech nods proudly. Morgan pulls out her phone and holds up her hand.
Morgan: South Carol-you're from-
Morgan rubs her temple.
Morgan: Now I know - I KNOW - you're not coming here in the home stadium of the Eagles wearing an Eagle... in the Home City of Rocky Balboa coming out to EYE OF THE TIGER...and you're from MEOWING South Carolina.
The audience boos now. Morgan looks around then low blows him. Morgan throws Screech into the ring, calls for the bell.
Lisa Ann: And Philly Pride dripping from this audience, Morgan Maverick picks him up into what looks like a Razor's Edge -
Colin: High Angle! AND DOWN INTO THE FACEBUSTER! SHE CALLS THAT, FITTINGLY, THE PHILADELPHIA EAGLE! And the pin-
1!
2!
3!
Morgan Maverick wins by Pinfall!
Ash: Here is your winner, the Philly Phortune, MORGAN MAVERICK!
Lisa Ann Walter enters the ring and raises Morgan's hand.
Colin: And we are barreling towards Mayday at lightspeed and no one can stop this train now! I'm Colin McRae, with Kendra Mavis, Lisa Ann Walter, Kat Dennings, and Arvin Wallace, saying so long!
FADE TO BLACK
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