AUGUST 31, 2026
FAIRBANKS, ALASKA

CARLSON CENTER

 

 

The camera catches Robertos Michael walking through the arena corridor, dressed in his black leather jacket, his expression as unreadable as ever. He walks with his usual measured pace, looking straight ahead, seemingly determined to get wherever he is going without being interrupted.

 

Unfortunately for him, the universe has other plans.

 

Vixxen Riot: ROBERTOOOOS! WAIT! SLOW DOWN!

 

Robertos closes his eyes for a brief moment, as if silently asking the universe for patience. He stops and turns around.

 

Robertos Michael: What?

 

 

Vixxen finally catches up with him, slightly out of breath. She is carrying her Karaoke Championship and her Breakdance Championship, both displayed proudly over her shoulders. She points down at her shoes.

 

Vixxen Riot: My shoelaces came undone!

 

Robertos looks down at her shoes. Then at her. Then back at the shoes.

 

Robertos Michael: And?

 

Vixxen Riot: And I need you to tie them for me!

 

Robertos Michael: You have hands.

 

Vixxen Riot: EXCUSE ME?! These hands are busy carrying all this gold and prestige! Do you have any idea how exhausting it is being this successful?

 

She lifts both championships higher, almost knocking herself in the chin with one of them.

 

Vixxen Riot: Besides, what if I trip? What if I fall? What if I damage my beautiful face? What if I lose my balance and these championships hit the ground? Can you imagine the tragedy? The headlines? The documentaries?

 

Robertos stares at her for another second before finally crouching down and tying her shoelaces.

Vixxen watches him with an enormous smile, looking as though he has just written her a love poem.

 

Vixxen Riot: Awww! Look at you! Taking care of your girl! This is why I love you!

 

Robertos Michael: I'm tying your shoelaces.

 

Vixxen Riot: Exactly. Romance isn't dead!

 

Robertos finishes tying the first shoe and moves to the second.

 

Robertos Michael: You know, I still don't understand why you have a Karaoke Championship.

 

Vixxen Riot: Because I'm talented?

 

Robertos Michael: We're in a hardcore wrestling federation. People are going through tables, getting thrown into steel cages, and taking ridiculous bumps. And somewhere in the middle of all that, someone decided we needed a championship for singing.

 

He finishes the second shoelace and stands up.

 

Robertos Michael: And somehow, you're the champion.

 

Vixxen Riot: Because I won it!

Then defend it against Bey Blaze who is basically BEYONCE!

 

Robertos Michael: By hitting her in the throat with a microphone.

 

Vixxen Riot: Details.

 

Robertos Michael: She sounded like a pig screaming into a microphone at a Romanian village before Christmas.

 

Vixxen's face lights up with the kind of pride normally reserved for winning a world championship.

 

Vixxen Riot: EXACTLY! See? You understand my art!

 

Robertos Michael: I understand that you assaulted a woman with karaoke equipment.

 

Vixxen Riot: And I understand that I am a champion. We all have our strengths.

 

She adjusts the Karaoke Championship on her shoulder before proudly presenting her other title.

 

Vixxen Riot: And don't forget this beauty! My Breakdance Championship!

 

Robertos looks at the belt. He examines it for a moment, taking in its construction.

 

Robertos Michael: You made that in your bedroom out of glue and cardboard.

 

Vixxen Riot: AS I SAID BEFOREVERY EXPENSIVE GLUE AND MID-HIGH-TIER CARDBOARD!

 

Robertos Michael: Naturally. My mistake.

 

Vixxen nods with complete seriousness, as though the matter has now been settled beyond any reasonable doubt.

 

Vixxen Riot: Look, baby, I'm just saying that my career is going GREAT. I debuted, won a championship, won another one the following week, nearly won the Rumble, and almost walked away with THREE titles!

 

She points at him with one of her championship belts.

 

Vixxen Riot: You debuted, glared at people, beat people up, and still haven't won a championship.

 

Robertos slowly turns his head toward her.

 

Robertos Michael: Are you finished?

 

Vixxen Riot: Not even close!

 

She steps closer, her expression softening slightly.

 

Vixxen Riot: But seriously, I love you even when you're not a champion. And I know you're going to win one eventually. You're good, you're dangerous, and you're ridiculously handsome. It's honestly unfair to the rest of us.

 

Robertos says nothing. Vixxen takes his silence as encouragement, because naturally she does.

 

Vixxen Riot: You've got that Wildcard qualifying match tonight, too! You could become the Wildcard Champion! And you're pretty wild, aren't you?

 

She gives him a suggestive wink and nudges him with her elbow.

 

Vixxen Riot: Especially when the lights go out.

 

Robertos looks at her. His expression doesn't change.

 

Robertos Michael: You done?

 

Vixxen Riot: For now.

 

She beams at him, entirely satisfied with herself. Robertos exhales through his nose, then looks away for a moment.

 

Robertos Michael: Do you remember the show in Bucharest where we first met?

 

Vixxen immediately perks up.

 

Vixxen Riot: Of course! I was in the audience, and you were wrestling! You looked so good out there. All serious, all intense, all mysterious. I remember thinking, 'That man needs someone fun in his life.'

 

Robertos Michael: Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I'd introduced myself to your friend sitting next to you instead.

 

Vixxen freezes.

Slowly, very slowly, she turns to face him.

 

Vixxen Riot: EXCUSE ME?!

 

Robertos Michael: She seemed quieter.

 

Vixxen Riot: OH, SO YOU WANTED QUIET?! YOU WANTED PEACE?! YOU WANTED A NICE, NORMAL, BORING LITTLE LIFE?!

 

She gasps and places a hand over her chest, the championships nearly slipping off her shoulders.

 

Vixxen Riot: I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD SAY THAT TO ME!

 

Robertos watches her theatrical meltdown without moving a muscle.

 

Robertos Michael: You asked.

 

Vixxen Riot: I DID NOT ASK THAT!

 

She takes another dramatic breath, then suddenly wraps her arms around him in a tight hug.

 

Vixxen Riot: I know you don't mean it. You love me. You wouldn't say something like that in front of thousands of people if you really wanted to hurt my feelings.

 

Robertos stands rigidly for a moment, his arms remaining at his sides. He doesn't hug her back, but he doesn't push her away either.

 

Vixxen Riot: You wouldn't have liked her anyway.

 

Robertos leans back just enough to look at her

 

Robertos: Oh? And why is that?

 

Vixxen Riot: She was even more boring than you are. You probably would have spent your entire relationship discussing taxes.

 

Robertos blinks.

 

Robertos Michael: Taxes?

 

Vixxen Riot: Taxes. Numbers. Calculations. Financial planning. All the things you find exciting.

 

Vixxen stares at him for a second before bursting into laughter.

 

Vixxen Riot: BABY! You are SO lucky you have me! I'd never let you become that boring!

 

She hugs him again, this time with even more enthusiasm.

 

Vixxen Riot: I'm the adrenaline you need to survive! I'm the spark in your life! I'm the reason you haven't turned into a grumpy old man who yells at children to get off his lawn!

 

Robertos Michael: Give it time.

 

Vixxen laughs again, apparently interpreting this as the height of romantic banter.

 

She finally releases him and turns toward the corridor leading to the arena entrance.

 

Vixxen Riot: ANYWAY! Enough photosynthesis! Let's go conquer the evening!

 

She starts walking backward in front of him, gesturing wildly with both championship belts.

 

Vixxen Riot: You've got Hadron tonight, right? The suspicious-looking guy who's apparently supposed to electrocute you?

 

Robertos Michael: It's a wrestling match, Vixxen.

 

Vixxen Riot: I know! I know! I'm just saying, the whole electrocution thing stipulation sounds a little kinky. I like the sound of that.

 

Robertos briefly looks toward the ceiling.

 

Robertos Michael: I don't know why I bother explaining anything to you.

 

Vixxen Riot: BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME!

 

Robertos Michael: Unfortunately.

 

Vixxen blows him a kiss and spins around, walking ahead of him with her usual bouncing enthusiasm.

 

Vixxen Riot: And speaking of people who need to learn a lesson, I'm going to get my revenge on Bey Blaze tonight! You know she cheap-shotted me during the Rumble? I had a bump on my head for TWO WHOLE DAYS! Do you have any idea how difficult it is to look fabulous with a bump on your head?!

 

Robertos Michael: I can only imagine the suffering.

 

Vixxen Riot: THANK YOU! Finally, someone understands!

 

She turns around, walks backward for a couple of steps, and gives him a playful slap on the backside before skipping ahead again.

 

Vixxen Riot: COME ON, TAX MAN! LET'S GO MAKE SOME BAD DECISIONS!

 

Robertos stops for half a second.

 

He looks down the corridor at Vixxen, who is already waving her championships in the air as if she were leading a parade.

He adjusts the collar of his black leather jacket, shakes his head, and follows her.

 

The camera lingers on the pair as they head toward the arena: Vixxen proudly displaying her two championships, practically radiating joy, while Robertos walks beside her with the same cold, composed expression he wears everywhere.

 

Except that he did stop to tie her shoelaces.

 

And despite all his complaints, he is still walking right beside her.

 

For Vixxen Riot, that is more than enough proof that they are absolutely perfect for each other.

For Robertos Michael, it is apparently too late to escape.

 

 

We are pre-taped!

Recorded previously in the MAWL locker room!

 

Fun fact about MAWL, while in other feds the locker room dynamic is a little different.

 

Some feds, the big stars have their own locker room.

Some feds, the stables have their own locker rooms.

Some feds, have heel and face locker rooms. Me personally, thats my favourite dynamic.

 

But here in MAWL. We are ALL in one big locker room.

 

Fish Boys. Bird People. Asian wrestlers. American Wrestlers. Luchadorks and main eventers.

 

All together as one.

 

Maybe the women have their own locker room. I don't control the lore in MAWL that much.

 

But we in MAWL are united as one. One big happy family that fight eachother on a weekly basis.

 

Anyway, Utterly Vile is here! You know him right?

 

 

SM HeartBreaker's little bitch boy.

 

Wow! We can't call him that!

 

Yes we can, this is my promo, I can say as I please. Utterly Vile deserves it.

 

Anyway, Utterly Vile stands on top of a chair and begins to bang on a nearby empty rubbish bin.

 

UV: Order! Order! Your Pillar and locker room leader has called an emergency meeting. Everyone stop what you are doing and listen up.

 

Enter SM HeartBreaker.

 

 

Coming out of the showers, wearing nothing but a towel. SM HeartBreaker approaches Utterly Vile and nods at him, thanking him for his introduction. SM HeartBreaker stands on the chair that Utterly Vile previously occupied.

 

SM: Wrestlers of the MAWL Roster. I call this meeting to discuss something extremely important.

 

several members of the locker room stop what they are doing, including Capybara, who was in the middle of telling Mr Happy a story.

 

SM: You have all read tonight's card. You all know what match you are in. But there is one match more important to the future of this company. The rumble.

 

Utterly Vile holds up the match card for tonight as SM HeartBreaker points at it.

 

SM: For those of you living under a rock or are new to MAWL. Allow me to explain to you what is at stake.

 

SM HeartBreaker pauses for dramatic effect.

 

SM: Everything! XHW hasn't just been interfering in all our matches but they literally installed THEIR GM onto the roster. DA Jones isn't doing enough to counter it. So it is down to us. Me. You. The person next to you. Every single meow one of us.

 

SM HeartBreaker starts shouting out names

 

SM: Ripper. You are one of the most loyal mother meowers I have ever met. MAWL is your current home. I know you would never allow scum to mess up your home.

 

SM: Edomite. I know you love chaos. I know you love the violence. I know love to talk. But you know who doesn't allow you to do that? XHW. They are taking away the very thing that you and I love.

 

SM: Joker. Me and you have fought together and against each other in multiple wars. There is no one I have ever wanted to go to war with you and MAWL needs you. I meowing needs you. XHW fears you.

 

SM: Perry Jerry. I owe you £20 from that other fed we were in together. I won't be able to pay you back if XHW wins. Stand up for MAWL and that £20 is yours.

 

SM: Aztec. I know you are nothing more than a title whore. I am too. We care about winning and gold but do you know what the one thing me and you have in common? No, its not our dashing good lucks, chiselled physique. No it isn't the fact we will work for every promotion that offers us a contract. No. It is one thing. We have never lost a promotion. A promotion doesn't die on our watch by invaders. We do not lose. We will not lose to XHW.

 

SM: Robertos Michaels. I bet you didn't expect me to name drop you. I bet you didn't think you are a big name in MAWL. You think you are some rising talent. You are wrong Robertos. You may be some rising star but that star will die if XHW get their way. Your hard work dies if you don't step the meow up.

 

SM: Anyone want to speak? Do I have to name drop everyone?

 

SM: Fine I will continue. Because I will shout, scream and talk until people start to realise what is at stake. XHW can't win. Not when they have people on the roster like...

 

SM: Dorian Karras. You are all about legacy. You are all about respect. Do you think XHW have any respect for you? Do you think XHW cares about the legacy you plan on building? No. They are savages who want you to lose. Destroyers that do not build anything.

 

SM: Sting Ray Steve. Me and you have never seen eye to eye. Since day one I have called you an outsider. XHW are the real outsiders. XHW are the true outsiders. XHW are the outsiders I have been accusing you of since day one. Are you MAWL?! Or are you going to prove me right? Fight in the rumble Steve and with MAWL or you will always be labelled as an outsider once the dust settles.

 

SM: Loc Gnar. I don't actually know you. Rumour has it you are the friend of my son. Which means you have terrible judgement and even worse taste in friends. Allow me to spell it out to you and make your decision making skills easy. Fight for the company that hired you. Fight for the name on your contract. Fight for the one and only true HeartBreaker.

 

SM: Wildfire. You did a great job at the PPV. In your home town. You raised your stock. You raised awareness for that young boy in Edmonton. You have stepped up at every challenge you have faced since day one. Because yes, you are a day oner. You have been a pain in my ass. You have been a brand traitor during the early days. You have been an asshole. Just like me. So when MAWL calls you and asks you to stand with us. Do you answer Wildfire? Or do you hide in the background again? When XHW comes knocking do you let them in or draw the line? The rumble is tonight Wildfire. Fight in it or let XHW destroy everything you have built.

 

SM: Do I have to go on? This roster is huge with like 200 people. I honest to god don't know how we all fit in this room. I can keep singling people out or someone else can speak

 

The silence is deafening.

 

 

 

Steve starts a slow clap but sees it’s not gaining traction, so after a few seconds he stops

 

Steve: Bravo. Bravissimo. As much as I dislike and distrust you, I do love a good rousing speech and you got me in all the cockles.

 

As I understand it, the Rumble’s prize is a spot in the Wildcard second round. Which, I already have. So the only thing that I’d stand to gain is supporting MAWL against this threat.

 

Which of course, I’m going to do. So yeah man, I’m in.

 

Steve goes for a handshake and stops short.

 

Steve: One condition though. You want us all to fight for MAWL and fight by your side. How do we know, how can we trust, that they are one and the same, Mr. Aztec Pro?

 

SM: Stupid fish boy. The prize isn't that wildcard spot. It is about XHW. Titles and opportunities will mean nothing if XHW take complete control. Short terms goals are nothing compared to the long game.

 

SM HeartBreaker puts his towel back on after CON hands it back to him and insists he puts it back on.

 

SM: While I have my reasons for terminating my MAWL contract. Lets not go into that. Lets dive into the fact, you talk about trust. You try to seduce doubt and distrust into the minds of OUR roster. Let me tell you direct Steve. Allow me to look you in the eyes when I tell you this. You can not trust me. You can not trust SM HeartBreaker. But what you can trust is MAWL. You can trust my actions. You can trust my goals. You can trust my motivations. We ain't friends. I am not friends with 90% of everyone in this room. But we all have the same goals. That you can trust. That you can not question.

 

Steve: I mean, you’re right. I do trust MAWL. I trust it so much, I shredded my contract with what’s been considered the premiere wrestling federation to come here. Because here is where my heart lies just like everyone else in this room.

 

And that’s exactly why I and we all deserve to know that for once, SM, that you’re going to focus on the heart and not the breaker. That you’re not leading us into a war that you have every intention on bailing on if Aztec Pro or DCW or PU or Marvin Patel get in your ear to lead a takeover for them instead. Can you look me in the eye and say that you’re not going to Bay of Pigs us?

 

SM HeartBreaker takes off his towel again so that Sting Ray Steve Thunder can look at him in the eye. Directly. Fully exposed.

 

SM: I am 100% MAWL. Nothing Hidden. Full committed to the cause.

 

There is a long awkward pause between SM HeartBreaker and Sting Ray Steve Thunder

 

SM: But I will always be a HeartBreaker. Just for now, I will be the HeartBreak that XHW will suffer when they realise they had the opportunity of taking over the number one company in the world and they let it slip away due to underestimating SM HeartBreaker.

 

Steve looks down then looks SM in the eye… can’t help himself and looks down again and once more in the eye

 

Steve: Is it supposed to… never mind it’s probably fine. Okay well that took guts and you have my trust. And extra helpings to some moisturizer if you need it. So as long as one of us wins and we show XHW what’s good and who runs this place, then it’s all good. There a plan or just dump more of theirs than ours, El Capitan?

 

Just when everyone is cheering and being inspired by SM Hearbreaker's pep rally, Perry Jerry walks around the corner from the same shower area that SM Heartbreaker had come from.

 

 

He is stark naked, except for a towel over his head. He pushes the towel into his wet hair to try dry it. He is oblivious to the meeting, and casually walks straight past SM and Utterly Vile.

 

He reaches his locker before finally pulling the towel around his neck, and turning back towards SM, acknowledging him with an eyebrow flash. SM Heartbreaker reluctantly eyebrow flashes Perry Jerry back, and before anything else can happen, Perry Jerry spins back around, and bends over, revealing his worn brown leather wallet lodged between his perfectly tanned butt cheeks. Perry Jerry then pries the wallet free, and goes to throw the wallet at SM before the realization finals hits Perry Jerry, that he's standing butt naked in front of the entire roster of his new home; where there are mouths dropped, and furious expressions directed straight at him.

 

His first instinct is not to cover up, but to take one of the airpods that were in his ears out, so he can hear the loudest angriest synchronized roar of disgust ever unleashed at a television taping. Also why was this not edited out? The image burns in the minds of all viewers forever.

 

Females are screaming and males are shaking their heads. There's one or two, that will remain unnamed that looked more impressed and turned on than anything. Perry Jerry winks at those individuals.

 

Then his next instinct is to let the plain breadroll fall from his mouth, quickly rip it, and use it to cover his junk. But, at the same time, Jassy's dog; Tony, leaps from Jassy's arms, and charges Perry Jerry. Tony leaps at the dangling bread roll, and latches on.

 

 

Perry Jerry screams in a panic, and waggles his hips to try get the Pomeranian to release it's bite.

 

It's at this point that the camera cuts away, and b-rolls to footage of Orchid playing with some catnip and a woolen toy mice.

 

 

Backstage Jassy, Daria, PG-13, Skye, and Iris are lounging backstage in the Z.L.I lounge suite. Jassy looks around the room, unhappy at the ridiculous amount of women of Z.L.I members packed in there.

 

Jassy: This is pathetic, you know that right?

 

Iris: Yeah. Wait, what do you mean?

 

Jassy: Look around. This used to be an exclusive group. Premium. The best of the best that Zora wanted. Now it's crammed like sardines in a can. She's lost her mind.

 

Daria: Well, you know why that is right? Think about it. It was a decent sized group until you wanted to form Sex Appeal.

 

Jassy: Darz, are you saying Im the cause of all this mess babes?

 

Daria: No. Yes. Yes, but no. What im getting at is that you started this chain reaction because its just like you say. Youre the best, Sex Appeal is the best, and...

 

PG-13: And you have women trying to be just like you Jassy girl. You just had two groups that were dedicated and fashioned after you. You had groups formed just in spite of you. You had someone join Z.L.I and immediately form her own group just to piggy back off your success. And now, they dismiss you, and disrespect you...

 

Skye: And... Take me as another example. I'm a well known wrestler already, and I saw how kick ass you were when I watched you all on T.V, especially you Jass, and I just wanted to be a part of all this. Me! Skye Blue! Wanted to become a member of MAWL, and join the hottest group on the frickin' planet. I'm sure there's plenty of well established wrestlers or quote on quote superstars that would kill to have a spot in Sex Appeal as well. No cap.

 

The women all nod and look at each other like this is the most profound thing they have heard.

 

Skye: May I also be so as bold to say that even Zora herself is threatened by your success so much that she's brought in more and more women in here because she knows that your power and influence is out growing her. You didn't even go through her about having me, Amelia, and Odessa join or even let her know about Queen Platinum's role in all this. She's probably pissed right now.

 

Jassy: You're probably right. No. All of you are right. I cant believe it. I created this mess, and how could I not see what Zora was up to. I respect her, but this feels like stupid Psycho Supremacy all over again.

 

Daria: So what are you going to do?

 

Jassy: We. What are we goin to do, because, it's going to take all of us in Sex Appeal to fix this. First, lets go talk to Queen & Lip Service. Then I'm taking Sarah and Odessa out to the ring to celebrate and grace the ratties with our gorgeous presence. We need a celebration, Sex Appeal style. For all our successes. We didn't even get to do our group dance at International Incident, so despite it probably not being the right time, I think we should do it. Then I think Zora and I need a catch up. This current inner faction friction needs to be addressed. This has gone on far too long, and I think it's time to put an end to this.

 

Iris: Me and Pen will go find Lazer, and Anna.

 

Skye: I'll go see how Anna is getting on with Halley, Amelia, and Odessa. See if they need a hand with anything, then catch up with yous later. Okay catch y'alls later beauties.

 

Jassy, and Daria hug the others and turn to walk out the door, when Lucenza walks through the door and almost bumps into Daria.

 

 

Jassy and Lucenza just stop and look at each other, a few seconds too long. The moment is awkward. Lucenza snaps out of it, and continues on her way.

 

Lucenza Rossi: Excuse me, get out of my way. I no longer associate myself with fairweather bitches and sellouts.

 

Jassy: Reoww, you always had your claws out Luce.. Daria: Jas let it go, she's not worth it...

 

Lucenza: Pfft, you should watch who you're talking to... But more importantly, You should watch your back. But not for me.

 

Lucenza quickly spins and walks off. Jassy and Daria look at eachother and subtly shake their heads and roll their eyes before walking out of the room.

 

A gradually increasing glitch in a TV screen goes between Jassy/Daria, Lucie, Perry Jerry, SM, Robertos and Vixxen walking towards an arena before a guitar riff and drum pound in-

 

 

And the cracking of the screen to the beat of the song culminates in the shattering and electricity of the screen.

 

 

Followed by the blowing out of these scenes on the screen-

 

 

Until the logo returns-

 

 

And fades out with the screen transitioning into the Titantron.

 

 

Which opens to a shot of the arena as "Man on a Wire" by Garbage continues to play in the background and everyone in the crowd goes nuts cheering. 

 

 

Ash: WE ARE BACK!!! We are BACK on WREK-TV. We are BACK on US Soil. And we are back in the Pantheon of Weekly Wreckage that lives up to its name, MADNESS. This is our first show in Alaska, and the icy conditions outside are just enough to counterbalance the absolute fire that's going to be coming in the next couple hours. I AM Ash Greaves-Orleans, and I am so excited for us to be returning to our adventures, and to be calling this journey along with my esteemed cohorts, Marcus Donovan and Valerie Thomas. 

 

 

Valerie: Today promises to be utterly insane, as the big piece of the puzzle stares us down, the second half of the Wild Card tournament. Which means Spin that Wheel is going to be a Rallying cry all night, and if you hate that song... well, it sucks to be you.

 

 

Marcus: And we are hot off the heels of an absolute BONKERS International Incident, with so much passion and pain and pressure, it was total pinsanity. We witnessed the implosion of Press Start, the cracks widen in Deck of Hearts, an actual civil war in ZLI, and a card that shifted like tectonic plates in an Earthquake. We crowned new champions. We saw hometown heroes stand tall.

 

Valerie: And even with WildFire and Adara's hometown victories in Edmonton, an equally big story has to be my ZLI girlies. Odessa. Sarah Sharp. Asesinato. Jassy retaining. 

 

Ash: Isabella lost her Eurasian Championship during an Unstable Title Match but walked out part of the Unstable Champs. Dante saw his and Victoria's tag titles taken by what could be considered an odd couple in a double betrayal situation, but completed the journey of winning the W2 by walking out the Legacy Champion. 

 

Marcus: And in perhaps one of my favorite shocks of the night, most of Radio Silence left with egg on their face, only Balor choosing instead to adorn his with a toolbox. It I believe is one of MAWL's most memed moments of the year so far. I particularly like the one where it replaces the clap in "We Will Rock You."

 

Ash: Well, back to today's card. We don't know a lot of the matches that are going to happen, but here's what we do know. Bey Blaze wants to get her hands on Vixxen Riot after the Karaoke debacle, Hakaru and Maya are continuing to wage war on Riot Block, and Deck of Hearts are going to be looking to save Jen from wherever she is, and before that the one Wildcard situation we DO know is the Rumble comprised of everyone in t-

 

 

Marcus: Oh look who's here, possibly going to stir up more s-

 

DA: Now, y'all don't learn. You mess with my matches, I can't square with that. Y'all wanna put people in a match without my say-so, you clearly don't care about the Wild Card Title. So the Rumble, that's goin' to newbies who will appreciate it. As for YOU lot, this is now an Elimination Tag Gauntlet, and the winning team will get an advantage at the XHW vs MAWL War Games at Graveyard Shift.

 

 

Sheri: The following contest is the XHW vs MAWL Gauntlet! Five members of each side will start, with the next person entering upon elimination. A winner will be crowned when one team has been completely eliminated from contention.

 

Marcus: And what I'm seeing is that each roster appears to have... 45 people. MAWL's keeping theirs secret. XHW is just keeping theirs secret. But this means that only the first 5 on each team will get an entrance. 

 

Sheri: Introducing first... The XHW starting 5!

 

 

Rouge and Preacher storm out to boos.

 

 

Sheri: Representing Unholy Union, Preacher and Rouge!! 

 

The lights dim and smoke follows them to the ring. The crowd boos intensify. 

 

Ash: This team has at least one united force.

 

Marcus: It's usually best to have the entire squad together... you can't completely fight the urge to triangulate with your own partner over the rest of the team, and that often will come either in tagging mostly each other or protect each other. Either way, not great in a larger group.

 

Preacher and Rouge pose briefly in the ring and then hang out in their corner. 

 

 

The arena looks almost like a saloon as the lines go tan and the fog emanates a dusty road feel. Damien Knight comes out, doing a gunshot to the camera.

 

 

Sheri: From Dallas, Texas, weighing in at 205 points, one half of the Dallas Knights, DAAAAAMIEN KNIGHT!

 

The crowd boos relentlessly as he struts down to the ramp, taking his sweet time.

 

Ash: Damien is undoubtedly the less interesting of the two brothers, and we'll see if he can hold out long enough to meet back up with his bro.

 

Marcus: Honestly let's clean em all out quick. 

 

Valerie: He may seem boring but he's a hell of a fighter. I wouldn't write him off that quick. 

 

He brushes his boots off on the apron then steps calmly over the apron.

 

 

Two plumes of black and pink smoke that Marley breathes in and blows out slowly into the camera, then strikes a model pose on the stage.

 

 

Sheri: From Florence, Italy, representing Chi Eta Sorority... one half of K Rush... MARLEY! KRANE!

 

She gives full heel Bella energy as she walks to the ring, straddles the rope a moment and flips her hair up, and backflips into the ring. With pink and green fireworks behind her she gives the XH sorority hand signal.

 

Valerie: She's a future tag champ. She should be a current tag champ. Won't happen tonight. But soon.

 

Sheri: And now... the team captain!

 

 

“No one will survive” by CFO$ starts playing as alarm lights starts flashing around the Titantron. As the guitar riff starts Diego appears on stage with red and yellow flashing lights, his back turned and the camera zoomed in on his name bejeweled on the back of his jacket.

 

 

Sheri: From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 500, DIIIIIEGO RRRRRRIVERA!!!

 

He then turns and aims finger guns at the camera. As he yells bang, pyro goes off on either side of him. He then fixes his collar and marches down the ramp.

 

Valerie: Make way for the Champ!

 

Marcus: Former champ. Former. Hasn't held a belt in a minute. 

 

On his way down he pauses to stop and taunt the crowd, taking in the energy from the arena. He then continues his march down, climbing up the steps before dramatically stepping along the apron in sync with the violin riff before leaning in the center of the ropes and aiming his finger guns to the crowd before he and the crowd yell “BANG”. He then climbs through the ropes and walks to the center fixing his collar and pointing out to the crowd.

 

Sheri: And now... TEAM MAWL!

 

 

The lights darken and fog emminates from the stage area as the opening chords of Mushroomhead - We Are the Truth strum out.  Vibrant red pyro erupts from the stage as the chorous vocals start.  Gozu emerges from the stage slowly walking into view as the fog grows thicker and rolls down the ramp ahead of him.

 

 

Sheri: From Parts Unknown... weighing in at 320 Pounds.... The Patron Saint of Pain..... GOOOOOOZU!!!

 

 Light from behind him casts him in shilloute as he stands at the top of the ramp eyes seemingly focused on nothing. The lighting in the arena pulses red in time with the song as Gozu stalks down towards the ring slowly.

 

Crowd: GOZU'S GONNA KILL YOU. GOZU'S GONNA KILL YOU.

 

Marcus: Even this on its own... in a hypothetical 5 on 1 situation. I would NOT bet against Gozu. 

 

As the music builds in intensity Gozu's movements speed up. Until half way down the ramp he's in a full on sprint.  Gozu dives under the bottom rope and immediately pushes himself up to his feet.  The fog seems to follow him as it begins seeping out from under the ring with his arrival.  Gozu's head swivels as he turns looking out at the crowd as the lights continue pulsing in time with the music.

 

Soon the music begins to fade as Gozu stalks over to his corner to await the start of the match.  The fog lingers around ringside as the lights come back up.

 

 

The drum riff hits to the instrumental version of Nothing But Thieves "Trip Switch" hits as three lightning bolts shoot from an image of the Manx three-leg symbol done as gears. The lights give a flickering feeling, as if power surging. Tamara punches the ground then raises her arm slowly.

 

 

Sheri: From Onchan, the Isle of Man, The Circuitbreaker! TAMAAAAAARA RIIIIIIVERS!

 

Tamara walks down the ring, cracking her fists, all business. The crowd cheers, but she pays them no mind. She's all business. She enters the ring and punches the ground again, then slowly raises her shades off and gives the smallest of smiles.

 

Ash: It's been a little bit since we've seen Tamara is action, and you can tell just that initial drum fill gets this crowd jazzed.

 

The lights go pitch black for a second. All is quiet. Suddenly a familiar guitar riff echoes through the arena and and blue lights flicker in time to the opening licks of AC/DC “Thunderstruck.”

 

 

Marcus: You wanna talk about jazzed crowd.

 

Even if you don’t know the man, you can’t deny the song, and the crowd goes NUTS. They chant “THUNDER” in time to the bass drums during which the lights in time briefly flash white to mimic the energy of a thunderstorm.

 

The main riff comes in lightning bolts erupt around the arena. A blonde man comes running out, and throws the horns to the left of the crowd, igniting a brief pillar of flame.

 

 

He runs to the right of the stage and gives the horns to that side of the crowd, igniting a brief pillar of flame.

 

Sheri: From Slaughter Beach, Delaware.... weighing in at 203 pounds... one half of The Ocean... STING! RAY! STEEEEEEVE! THUNDER!!!

 

He comes charging down the ramp, high fiving anyone he can. He runs around the ring and all the way back to the other side of the ramp continuing this high five. Back in the center of the ramp he lets out a hell yeah scream and sprints full force to the ring, springboarding himself and flipping over the apron, throwing a final set of horns and then whipping off the trenchcoat dramatically in preparation for the fight.

 

Ash: His start as a full-time MAWL fighter was rocky, but the inclusion of that Davy Jones Lock... and I'm sure his tag partner isn't gonna wanna hear this... has made him a formidable force.

 

Valerie: He's gonna have at least 2 people who he's put that lock on to try to work with, I'm sure it's gonna be an awkward team-up.

 

 

A burning X fills the Titan tron as Start The Shooting by A Day To Remember starts blasting. The crowd is ON THEIR FEET.

 

Marcus: Sure enough, in this moment, Alaska is the hottest place to be!

 

Dante steps out menacingly, like a bandit looking for trouble.

 

 

He stops at the top of the ramp as the Titan tron starts displaying ‘Watch your step’ in burning letters as the chorus plays. As Dante walks down the ramp, pyro goes off on either side of the ramp with each step. After a few he stomps triggering the stage to fill with fire. 

 

Sheri: From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania... weighing 205 pounds.... he is the LEGACY CHAMPION!!! Representing XTreme Society.... DAAAAANTE RIIIIIIVERA!!!

 

He walks down the ramp and to the ring, jumping onto the apron and climbing through the ropes. He stands in the center of the ring, slowly removing his shades from his face. He eyes fixed on the camera (or opponent). He tosses the shades to the side and stomps hard onto the mat, setting off flames on all four corners of the ring.

 

Marcus: What's wild to me... what makes no sense... is that HIS brother is the other team's captain. The XHW battle is HIS battle. He is the ACTUAL top champion in the federation. And yet. AND YET. He is not the captain of this ship? 

 

Ash: Honestly, I don't think captainship bothers him all that much long as he gets to fight. Don't get me wrong, I agree with you.

 

Sheri: And now... the Team Captain for MAWL...

 

Announcer: Wrestling has only one Heartbreaker. That matters.

 

 

TWO burning Xs fill the titantron that form to the Heartbreak symbol. SM Heartbreaker comes out, BIG Aura Farming going on right now with that Hardcore Title.

 

 

Sheri: From Parts Unknown, weighing the hopes and dreams of all of MAWL which translates approximately to a better 205 pounds... The "Greatest Hardcore Champion of All Time"... those are his words... S! M! HEEEEEARTBREAKER!!! Oh yeah and he also runs Deck of Hearts too.

 

SM takes in the mixed, confused crowd reaction where people clearly WANT to boo him but are conflicted.

 

Ash: SM wants everyone to see him as MAWL's hero. But he also wants them to see him as a bastard. He's a complex individual. In his own mind. Really he's just delusional.

 

SM walks down to the ring, jumps in... and has a two story X firework go off.

 

Marcus: He wants to say that Dante's good with him now. But he also is trying to one up him. 

 

The bell rings! Dante and Diego stare each other down for what feels like an eternity.

 

Ash: We're starting with a main-event level staredown in our first match. Brothers ready to absolutely break each other. You can see that they're mouthing to each other... something. Shoving match between the two brothers, Dante absolutely pops Diego with a snap huracanrana!! Diego tries for a sweep kick, Dante is too fast and jumps, jump kick to the head and a quick roll-up attempt-

 

 

Jenny: ONE!

 

Valerie: Kicks at one, that was a wasted pin attempt. Too early in. Diego rolls back and tag into Marley, Marley in with a huge spiking DDT, dropping Dante on his head with a thud. Gets him up and another snap DDT, like a boss.

 

Ash: Dante rolls to the corner, tag to Steve, Steve knocks Marley back with a running knee shot. Marley stumbles, Steve keeps the run going, Marley trying to get to her knees, Steve with the run-up and springboarding OFF Marley, backflip and a dropkick!! He just took her Into the Ocean!! Trying for the pin, but she rolls away before he can get to that. She reaches for the tag, Thunder pulls her back and deadlift German! She rolls back again, he charges OH but she counters with a lariat and straight up flips Steve!! Steve... tags in Heartbreaker! 

 

Marcus: The man's said previously that he takes teaming seriously, even if he doesn't get along with them, and he's showing his work. 

 

Ash: Marley tries to run in, SM blasts Marley back with a Superkick! He tries to line her up for a second, she catches his leg and kicks him in his calf. Keeping the leg held, another huge kick to it. Keeping it held a bit longer, tag into Preacher, Preacher with a boot! Marley still hasn't let go, SM's leg might get popped out like an action figure in a sibling's hand! Jenny sends Marley back to the apron, SM takes the moment and KICK TO PREACHER'S DICK! RUN BACK AND INSTRUMENT OF DESTRUCTION!!! Going for the cover-

 

Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

Preacher is eliminated by SM Heartbreaker! (1)

 

Damien Knight enters the match. And coming to the ring for XHW-

 

 

Ash: Damien Knight almost immediately takes a kick to the dick from SM.

 

Valerie: It's how he greets people. And already going for a pin-

 

Jenny: ONE!

 

Marcus: Knight is to his feet easily, though he won't be riding bareback for a while.

 

Ash: He tags Marley back in, Marley with a Krane Kick knocks SM back! The cover-

 

Jenny: ONE! TWO!

 

Valerie: SM gets the shoulder up. SM going for a an atomic drop, oh he's stalling and maybe a little too long... she propels them forward, off the ropes and Springboard Bulldog! Marley and Me!! Going for a cover again-

 

Jenny: ONE! TWO! THREE!

 

SM Heartbreaker is eliminated by Marley Krane! (1)

 

Valerie: Did... did SM's team just let him take the fall? No one seemed that willing to move for him. 

 

Marcus: I feel like he'll blame Steve for that. For demotivating the team or whatever.

 

Tamara Rivers enters the match. And coming down to the ring for MAWL...